Well, this is awkward.
“Oh hello Dorothy! Since when do you dye your hair?”
I think he’s gonna be mad about the spoilers cuz he didn’t realize it by kissing her.
“What the heck, Amber! I wasn’t supposed to figure it out until we totally did it! This was supposed to be the big climax at graduation! God, you ruin everything!”
Hehehe big climax
Amber got cheated out of her big climax at prom; I don’t think she’s going to wait for college graduation for her next one.
what about Raidah?
Is standing besi-ide me!
I don’t need no make-up
Don’t need to prete—oh wait
Please don’t let this end with everyone eaten by a giant alien plant….
The movie apparently has a happier ending.
Depends if you have the director’s cut or not. The DC is so sad it’s hilarious.
The said thing about the DC is that all of that expensive and lovingly crafted giant monsters wreckin shit footage was thrown out.
God bless the Blu-ray. ^^
Betty Crocker Suddenly Salad
These impending jinx be high, son.
Jinx is Dana?
Higher than Mt. Everest.
Billy! Waste no time! He’s distracted! Throw those thighs! Throw ‘em!
But she needs her femurs to live!
Well she’s obviously going to keep the bones and throw the fleshy parts.
Se needs those bits too.
Perfect grav, Nothri.
She rips her legs off and throws them like clubs.
More like a boomerang! Lock that knee, and you have multiple throw opportunities!
Or she rips Blaine’s leg off and used that severed leg to kick him in the nads.
Billie used Bonemarang!
It Hit two times!
Blaine used Outrage!
Blaine is confused!
Blaine tries to use Misdirected Rage!
Amber uses charm!
“Danny, who is this red-headed Dorothy D8″
Yes, my monitor is crap. I’ve been going off Amber’s Shortpacked! description of Faz having hair with a weird reddish tint.
Also, all kind of people I know who have hair that’s NOT cherry-red still describe their hair as red, so I HAVE NO IDEA.
Also, brown is just dark orange SO THERE
Danny, why is Dorothy dressed up like that?
Danny, Who is this colorblind commentor?
Apparently this is DoA technicolor
The word you are looking for is brunette.
Danny, when did Dorothy get heavier and dye her hair?
If Amber were red headed she would probably replace Dorothy as teh hottest female character (IMO).
But Sierra is squarely at the top of that list.
Me not my type.
Well, I should hope you’re not your own type, that’d be weird.
*Insert crude masturbation joke here*
I saw one of those fake “Girlfriend takes candid shot photo” where the guy takes a picture of himself, and is clearly visible doing so in a reflection, but my first thought was that his hand was his girlfriend. Not that he failed by lying about having a girlfriend and taking a convincing photograph ruined by the fact that his lie is visible in a mirror or window.
I lost the thread of this conversation right around this point….
Clearly Faz is sexiest character.
“See this graph clearly shows an increase of sexual arousal when Faz is in teh comic.”
“You are holding it upside down.”
Clearly you are brain injured. (the beard was the first clue)
Um. Badeyes. You have bad eyes. There is no beard in that gravvy. There is only mustache and sideburns. And the lack of beard makes it look quite silly.
But them’s some Bad Ass sideburns.
You are not allowed to dis General Burnside and his sideburns until you have a style of facial hair named after you.
Well, you can critique his skills as an actual general, but his facial hair is without equal!
Is that foot-fetish thing?
Here is a picture of Amber as a REDHEAD.
So you just drew Rose?
I’m not certain now, does redheaded Amber = Rose, if only I had a picture of Rose to compare with.
Rose has hair closer to Joyce’s, which hangs over her shoulders, freckles, and rectangular glasses.
Plus, she has hair that’s actually red.
Why do all of your redheads have rectangular glasses?
With the red hair, square glasses, overall shorts, and general attitude, I’ve been thinking maybe Ultra Car’s new chassis is Joe’s tribute to Ruth. But it’s been a while so he doesn’t really remember what she looked like.
(We can’t mention UC at all?)
Not since yesterday.
Also, the reason all of Willis’ redheads have rectangular glasses is because rectangular glasses are sexy. Or at least I hope they are! Otherwise, I need new glasses!
Hey is that actually your tumblr? I follow you!
>implying she isn’t already the hottest female
Well, since Ruth isn’t in this particular strip…
The appropriate ranking is Amber at number one, then Sierra, then Billie, and then everybody else kind of shifting around depending on the day of the week and phase of the moon.
Billie is the hottest.
Dina is the cutest.
Amber is the amazingest.
So Billie just stopped ten feet away from a standing Blaine, way to drop the ball >_>
“Whelp, that’s all I got”
She’s about to use Flamethrower, looking at her mouth.
The break whistle went off.
Now she and Blaine sit quietly next to each other and eat their lunches. Then the whistle blows again and Blaine goes back to stealing sheep while Billie punches him.
+10 to the Doctor.
First time commenter. I’ve been reading the strip for a couple of months now. Great stuff, Mr. Willis.
For the win.
Just go with it Danny. Don’t be dumb like you usually are. DON’T. YOU. DO. IT.
Heck, do it on the floor, Danny. Just do it!
BUT USE PROTECTION!
I think anyone would be dumb if someone addressed them like this.
Danny, be dumb; It’s almost acceptable now?
Yeah, if a close friend of mine came out of nowhere and called me “lover,” in front of my parents, I can definitely see myself responding like an idiot.
That being said, maybe circumstances and plain-ol’ shock will save the day here. I can hope, right?
If you’ve been exposed to enough movies, it should be clear that somebody’s trying to hide in the open. Though it works better without parents around…
I gotta admit, I didn’t pick up on that at first, I thought she was attempting to help Danny out.
You know he will. And we’ll all sigh because he’s oblivious.
It’s no use. We’re still going to deride Danny, even if he acts flawlessly. The hate train can’t brake in that short of a distance.
(Spoiler: He will not act flawlessly.)
Didn’t some people call this? I’m pretty sure some people called this.
I called the “Amber poses as Danny’s girlfriend” schtick, but I was expecting it to be at Danny’s instigation.
Danny, here’s your chance to not be an asshole. Don’t blow it.
That’s like asking nixon to be a good president…bound to have some difficulties making it happen just right
That’s like asking me not to eat all the Tortilla Chips. or Goldfish.
That’s like asking Walky to give away all of his D&MM stuff.
It’d be like asking Mike to not..well, do anything, really. Reverse psychology is pretty much his only weakness.
Hmm…if you eat them together would it in any way resemble eating nachos?
Oh, Nixon was a better president than the law allowed. So they changed the laws. The stuff he would have gotten impeached and prosecuted for (had he not resigned and gotten an immediate presidential pardon) is peanuts against the stuff the current and last president are pulling off. “Think of the communists”, excuse me, “terrorists”. Or was it the children?
Nixon conserved a shitload of land, and opened relations with China. Too bad he was such a creep.
He’s not an asshole, he’s just completely inept.
Yes. Because not only would playing along help Amber, it would help *him* get his parents off his back. But will be see this? Six weeks ago, Willis decided . . . No. Of course not.
Blowing assholes never sounds like a good idea.
Lover is such like an awesome title. Like, it implies a lot of comfort and romance between the two people. Then again, you could just be doing what’s going on here.
They played Mario-Kart together, that practically makes them husband and wife in some parts of the world.
In my case it was more friends with benefits. The benefit being a friend who I played Mario Kart with once.
it also implies intertwining genitalia.
and/or heavy petting.
Intertwining genitalia suggests some kind of snake-sex happening.
It’s 12 feet long, and he has to doodle her from across the room.
I hope some day genes from squit are used in GMA rapeseed so we can have ‘giant fields of tentacle rape.’
See? Rape jokes can be funny!
So they are both made of Ivy?
So long as is’t not duck sex. That shit be terrifying.
Cat sex is a close second.
Inamorata/inamorato is better. And Italian.
Domo arigato, inamorato.
this is going to be both amazing and terrible all at the same time…dammit willis!!
because Amber’s Amazi-girl
and Danny’s terrible.
Danny’s sidekick name (sidekick to Amazi-Girl, of course) would be “Terri-Boy”.
Man, what I would do for someone to greet me that way. I am such a sad strange man.
Thanks, Kaci. I needed that.
The moment is gone.
No problem! And if it helps you even more, I have never addressed anyone as such before, including my husband…
Perhaps I should start, but alas, I am shy. So, special treatment for you
No need to be shy. Trust me, he’ll dig it.
And you have my pity
Imagine if Danny’s dad kicks some ass…. He looks like he can kick some ass.
“I’m sending you to the bank, Blaine. The blood bank.”
Now now lets us talk about parenting, buddy. And by talk I mean fight.
“It’s time to take out the trash.”
“YOU EEEDIOT! YOU! Oh what I’m going to do to you. I’m so angry…first, I’m going to tear your lips out, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. Next, I’m gonna gouge your eyes out, yeah. Next, I’m gonna tear your arms out of the sockets. And you know what else? I’m gonna hit you and you’re gonna fall and I’m gonna look down and I’m gonna laugh.”
But first, but fiiirrrsssttt, I gotta take a whiz!
Danny’s dad is Barney Rubble so I think he can.
Yeah, Bedrock cavemen can travel at freeway speeds with mere foot power, and survive unlimited bowling balls to the skull. They are pretty tough.
Took me a minute to realize that Danny has no idea why she just said that. HOPEFULLY he takes the hint, if not I’m throwing in the towel.
You give Danny too much credit. Any amount of credit is too much. There are negative numbers that are higher the amount of credit Danny deserves.
And yet I hold out hope…
You must really like seeing hope knocked to the ground and stomped on then.
You know, I forget which universe is the one where it’s recommended to read the strips as if Danny doesn’t exist. Either way, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t screw things up.
Good to know… I’ve always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, having no idea that he’s been a hopeless character across all universes.
I can’t recall that he was ever considered a hopeless character in the Walkyverse.
Well, none of the characters considered him hopeless.
This strip works perfectly, if you assume that Amber is talking to Billie or Raidah across the room.
And wouldn’t that be nice Okamiking
Danny’s Mom’s eyes seem to be looking pretty low when she’s looking at Amber
“Well Rackwise, this is a step up, but I dock you points for repition.”
Amber’s mask is stuck to her foot and she’s trailing it like toilet paper.
“Oh honey, you’ve got your superhero mask trailing behind you. It’s so embarassing when that happens to me-I mean…that super hero that lives…near our…house”
“Yes. That one. The one who is not me. Uh, I mean, me, a superhero? Pssh. But yeah. I don’t know her, but um…I mean she saved me, one time… Two times? Maybe twice. She, uh, saved me. From nasty hooligans. Yeah. Hooligans. Um. Superhero. The one from around here. Not here meaning this room, that would be ridiculous. But here meaning this neighborhood. Yeah. That’s what I meant. I, uh, wounder who she is. Um, I don’t approve of her actions and think she’s a menace? But, um, as far as menaces go, she’s the best menace and her heart is in the right place and she must really be trying to stop crime so not really a menace then. Um. Yeah.”
“I’ll say she looks very young and hot. Perhaps the sexiest super heroine I’ve seen”
“Son, all superheroine are sexy.”
“Sharon, I didn’t know you’re into comics.”
I see two options, Danny thinks Amber doing some kind of play and just goes along with, or he realizes everything at once in a moment of pure face palm.
3, he goes “You’re not my girlfriend, Amber. It’s amazi-girl” because he has rocks for brains.
4. And then he says, you can’t be Amazi-Girl, I’m fairly positive that’s me.
You found a way around those word filters, I see.
5. He thinks Amber has suffered a blow to the head and THINKS she is Amazi-Girl. He plays along for her safety.
6. He runs away, yelling “I’m Lois Lane! I’m Lois Lane!”
7. Everyone takes a shot.
6. Turns out Blaine is Amazi-man, and Danny must join forces with Amber to help her defeat him……. wait where were we going with this?
Continued violence against Blaine, of course. As it should be.
Danny, quick! Use the ability all humans have to put two and two together! It is your only shot of not ruining everything here.
Danny puts 1 and 17 together and gets 303.
And makes some sweet bass lines.
Goodnumber Comrade Big brother doubleplusgoodthink.
What he said.
And Amber is walking into the same room her father is in. Absolutely no way that could go wrong.
Well, I can’t think of one.
I dunno, Danny’s dad has an expression that makes him look ready to *kick ass.*
I’m pretty sure Danny might kill Blaine if the opportunity arises.
That comment presupposes that Danny is good enough in a fight to kill anyone…Not buying it.
He might not survive, but he would kill Blaine. I think Danny knows the self-destruct enemy skill.
He’d be like Chiaotzu in Dragon Ball Z; blowing himself up in an attack that has no effect on the guy he was fighting.
Are you saying that Blaine is Nappa? I think you just totally insulted Nappa.
And will Danny pick up on this subtle hint? Of course not.
“You’re a wizard, Danny.”
“I’m clearly not. Did you doublecheck the address?”
Loved the Rifftrax of that movie.
“Yer a wizard, Harry”
“But I can’t be a wizard…I’m more into Yu-Gi-Oh!”
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
now, now I am sure many people are born to a virgin and have unnaturaly high numbers of midichlorians.
“If I don’t come back… tell my wife I love her…”
“You were married?”
“Oh no! I just remembered I have to pick up my son from boarding school– seven- years ago…” Oops.
On the bright side, Danny may finally find his calling as a human shield. Or maybe he’ll fail at that too.
Sudden realization: if Blaine punches Danny in the face, this fanbase will be torn asunder by conflicting emotions.
Torn even more asunder if Danny’s parents actually join in and beat on Blaine as a result… Gonna need popcorn.
Blaine tries to punch him and his fist goes through Danny’s face like jello and hits those behind him.
Wait. You’re saying Danny is Jelly Jiggler?
The difference is I like Jelly Jiggler.
Well since Danny has no spine he can probably dodge Blaine’s punches Matrix style.
Someday a woman will call me that and it not be a joke or ruse, but that day is not today. Or probably tomorrow for that matter.
Amber, if you really are in danger just scream it out to him, so he finally gets a clue.
Why is Amber being Joyce?
My theory: Joyce’s soul was forced out due to her parents insessant hands-on praying and she infested Amber during her moment of emotional weakness.
I’m still waiting for when Joyce meets Danny in this universe.
Have they not met at all?
They have, on a few occasions: when Joe tries to get with Joyce while setting Danny up with Sarah and when Amber strolls in on Ethan and Joyce’s double-date. No confirmed dialogue between the two, but they have encountered each other and probably introduced each other off-screen.
Amazi-Girl continues to save the day.
This is going to be a painful, painful 24 hours to wait through. Who says you can’t have cliffhangers with a daily update schedule?
Very Patient people.
So, people who waited for Duke Nukem Forever then?
No…people who waited for “Kirby Return to Dreamland”.
No… people who waited for Guns ‘n’ Roses’ “Chinese Democracy”
Or is that people who are waiting for actual Chinese democracy?
I called this, just because I know this is Willis’s way of getting the fan base to like Danny, and I applaud him of his clever ways.
A while back, Willis said this arc contained his favorite Danny stuff he’s ever written, so hopefully it lives up the hype.
I’ve never felt the hate for Danny that a lot of the base seems to, even in some of the Roomies! strips where he’s pretty unbearable. In DoA, I’ve found him somewhat likable, if occasionally rather thick.
I’m crossing my fingers that you’re right, is what I’m saying.
Yeah, and coming from DoA first as opposed to Roomie, I have to say that I didn’t notice any sort of unpleasantness to Danny.
He wasn’t a favorite of course, but he still seemed a good character. Sadly going back and reading Roomies poisoned me to him a bit, but with any luck that will pass.
I don’t think I said quite *that*. On the other hand, it’s a low bar.
AMBER YOU ARE ONLY MAKING THINGS WORSE.
For Danny, that is. This can’t end well for him.
Being Danny is punishment in and of itself.
Being Danny is a punishment that only Blaine deserves. Minus the “heavy petting” with Amazi-girl.
Come on Danny this is your chance! KICK BLAINE’S ASS DANNY!
Even if Danny vaporized Blaine with a plasma punch, it still wouldn’t be enough to counterbalance the rest of his blah whiny fail of an existence.
Besides, we all know that if Danny tried to punch Blaine, he would immediately (1) break every bone in his hand, wrist, and arm, and (2) accidentally hit his mom instead and put her into a coma. Danny–he’s just that non-good at life.
:O Is Danny gonna be getting his first Crowning Moment of Awesome? I’m so excited!
He had his first ages ago when he told of Dorothy and Joe.
Well, he didn’t really tell off Dorothy so much as force her to choose between herself and her boyfriend in an attempt to salvage his own ego, but whatever.
Not that scene, this one.
Oh yeah, that happened…
Oh god oh god OH GOD
DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNNN
TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL. Or the “Uh Amber you are so creepy you are not my lover remember Amazi-girl is.” Hopefully he figures it out. That would be lovely.
Worst-case scenario here: Blaine spots Amber, runs at her, Billie gets a second wind and is right behind him, and Blaine, Danny, Amber, Billie, and Danny’s parents all collide in a cartoon-ish cloud of violence.
I think you mean “best-case scenario”.
If Willis were a different cartoonist, we’d see in the next strip one of those blurry clouds with Blaine’s bloody lip, Amazi-Girl’s mask, Billie’s thighs, Danny’s father’s fist, and Danny’s confused look, all poking out of the dust of the collision/fight, with “POW” and “$*@(!!!” in bold letters all over it.
And then Blaine sneaks away from the ongoing cloud.
And Mike throws him back in.
Yes, Amber, hide with Danny’s family! Either Blaine won’t see you, or you can throw Danny’s parents at him as a distraction!
In other things, Billie is looking adorable back there huffing and puffing. Just like, “Okay, he stopped to look around, I can take this moment to catch my breath, then crush his head with style and poise.”
My favorite part of today’s strip is Billie’s little out-of-breath ‘cloud’.
Lol who says “lover” anymore
Besides Faz that is.
oh yeah… there is something creepy about “lover”
I don’t see it. Besides, I think “my pretty” is a lot creepier.
She has to be unambiguous in order to insinuate herself into this situation. Especially since it’s Danny. If she says “Hi Danny”, or “Hey, hon!” he’d probably miss the point and send her on her way. So she’s basically broadcasting “Hey, I overheard your conversation with your parents and am coming to your rescue!”
Anyone notice how Danny’s mom kinda looks like Dorothy?
Holy former Oedipus Complex Batman!
o_o My mind = blown.
Yeah, like in the fact that they…both wear glasses. Seriously, that’s all I’m seeing, guys. The hair is more like -Danny’s-, the face shape is completely different, her nose is bigger, the hair color is obviously not similar, and she wears her glasses lower on her face. I can see the Dorothy-Amber parallel, I am just -not- seeing this one.
I think Walky’s mom looks more like Joyce, honestly.
Holy shit, I’m illiterate.
not in the slightest. they both wear glasses, but besides that they have entirely different hairstyles, hair color, body builds, face shape etc. even the glasses are a different style
so if everyone wearing glasses looks like dorothy, I proposit that Blaine must as well by that logic.
I am not expecting Danny to be full of win tomorrow.
Omg! I missed that. Danny has an Electra complex!
You mean Oedipus complex?
No. He has a thing for girl ninjas.
I stand corrected.
Make yourself useful Danny.
“Oh, hey honey what a surprise! You told me you were going to be on that no tech camping trip for the weekend. Couldn’t go through with leaving your smart phone and computer behind for a couple days after all huh?” “Sorry I didn’t just tell you guys, I promised her I wasn’t going to tell anyone about it since she was pretty embarrassed about detoxing her tech addiction.”
Just be smooth for ONCE Danny, please.
Also is she really attempting an identity reveal here? Why would she really need to, even as Danny’s friend he’s nice enough to keep her crazy dad away from her if she just asks.
DO THE RIGHT THING DANNY
I HAVE ROOTED FOR YOU NOW PROVE YOURSELF
Don’t worry Varangian, we won’t make fun of you for having hopes for Danny
well not after the initial response of mocking and pointing.
BWAHAH…. Was that out loud?
Oh, hey, there’s a little bit of the funny I was missing. Y’know, buried underneath all the crippling negative emotions, but it’s there.
AgentKeen, the funny was inside you all along.
So, in other words, it was an inside joke
Ooo, well played.
It’s a good thing AgentKeen kept the funny inside. Funnyboners are kind of innapropriate to whit out all the time.
The funny is coming from inside the AgentKeen!
I almost called it!
… yeah, that doesn’t mean anything, does it?
“Well Danny, it’s so thoughtful of you that you wanted to avoid our first impression of your girlfriend to be her crossing fists with her father. But rest assured, we can think of no better match for you. She can give you so much that you have not been getting from us.”
Until I got to the comments I completely forgot Danyy was dating Amazi-girl rather than Amber
Amber, you are the girlfriend Danny needs, not the one he deserves.
couldnt of said it better myself… – GO AMBER!
Prediction: Amber realizes that Danny is a complete idiot and finds a way to subtly give him the mask.
Also, since this is my first comment, i must say well done Willis.
So … how is Danny going to screw this one up?
The third panel looks very pixelated.
Okay, did I miss the explanation of how A-Girl doesn’t need Amber’s glasses?
So, I suppose she does need them, but doesn’t wear them?
Shortpacked! Amber is older and her eyesight is worse. DoA Amber merely has astigmatism, which means she’s not great at reading things without her glasses, but could navigate without them.
One usually neither needs nor wants saucer-size glasses for astigmatism. I was rather hoping that as a true superhero, she has the skills to sew parts of old glasses into her mask. Of course, this fantasy suffers a bit from the additional level of morosity required for Danny in order not to notice. But then there’s plenty of that around.
I assumed contacts.
Then why would Amber put her glasses back on in panel two? Unless she wears the contacts all the time and is using ‘Clark Kents’ with no prescription. The last couple of days give me the impression that she and A-Girl aren’t on each other’s speed dial, so I don’t think Amber would go to that trouble.
When she was putting the mask on the other day, it looked to me like there were lenses in the eyeholes.
Good eye! Two days ago, panel 6.
Thanks; now I can sleep this weekend.
*Amber walks in* “Hey Danny, wanna fuck?”
*Danny punches Amber in the face* “Let’s go…” *Danny leaps on Amber, both go ofscreen, fade to black*
Danny as Kinzie? Eww!
Oh my god someone got the reference. Ten clusters to you!
What exactly is the plan here? Is she just trying to blend in with the crowd to hide from her dad? Does she think that being around other people will stop him?
I’m sure she’s not depending on Danny to help her fight. He’s… not much of a fighter, I think.
I don’t think she is banking as much on Danny as rather on his parents wanting a chance at getting to know his girlfriend before she is killed by her father. Amber already knows that Danny is too stupid to know Amazigirl from a piece of brick wall, and that’s what’s going to save Amazigirl’s identity after his parents defend her.
Frankly, Billy is probably the worst person to have around in case she does blow her identity.
I think she’s more trying to have fun with her boyfreind to try and forget the horrible day so far than anything related to Blaine.
She’s too emotionally flooded to have a plan. I think she’s just running away from whatever scares here the most at the moment.
Ok, I think this is where Danny will either step up and become awesome, or seriously mess things up
Too many stairs for Billie.
Billie is the Dragon(s) Warrior.
Oh man, I can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip! This is gonna be good XD
Oh no her cover is blown!
I’m finding it very hard to imagine her saying ‘Hey, lover’ without a West Country accent…probably just me…
I’m still reeling from the reveal that Amber is the Lone Ranger… I wonder if she’ll ever team up with Amazigirl
I want to ask if someone can explain the *car thing to me but I’m afraid I’ll get in trouble
Ultra-Car is a character from shortpacked, who rather frequently cosplays as a car version of spiderman.
and Robin has been known to accuse amber of being whenever he does so.
the more you know
well darn, I undersetimated Willis’ censoring there.
good show, sir.
I’m still wondering why he felt the need to censor it in the first place.
Because people are jerks and won’t listen to me when I tell them not to do something very friggin’ simple.
I guess there really are reasons why people can’t have nice things.
its very simple willis you tell people not to talk about pink elephants and all of a sudden its the only subject they can think about
It’s not like they *started* when I asked them not to. I was cleaning out “Ultra Car” posts the week leading up to it, too.
So it is, strange, I can’t imagine that character showing up here
If she does show up, it’ll be riding a dead horse.
Dammit Billie, he’s right there, get him
Take a closer look. She’s revving up her freeze breath. Her “love handles” are just where she had the freon tanks installed.
Why does Amber have tiny black dot eyes without her glasses but as Amazi-Girl wearing the mask thing she has big white eyes?
For the same reason Batman has black makeup around his eyes in-mask that disappears when he takes the mask off.
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Fifth annual "Favorite DoA character" poll: (pick three)
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