…Someone go check on Ruth, because now I have a bad feeling.
Where’s the freight elevator in that dorm that we SHOULD check for trucks, Alt-Text
No, clearly Sal had a wacky electric accident and is now in the body of a truck. Unawares, she tries to sneak back into her room like normal, only to find she’s got the wrong room.
Yeah, you don’t fuck around with this sort of shit.
Me too. I have a bad feeling Billie doesn’t get enough water.
It’s important to stay hydrated, kids.
If she was drinking American beer, that won’t be a problem.
American beer is like making love in a canoe.
First time I’ve seen that joke in a while. Classic.
The harder you go at it, the more likely you are to wind up nauseous, drenched in riverwater and caught naked and sunburned by banjo-playing swamp people?
I didn’t know that there’s a connection between beer and the Mayor of Dirt getting sodomized in rural Georgia.
Reference to the book and movie Deliverance.
Why are worried? Amazi-girl clearly stated she was okay.
“Foreshadowing: your clue to quality literature.”
Pretty sure that Ruth Dies In Every Universe, same as Ethan Is Always Gay.
It just takes its time coming.
guys i think billie might be drunk
I wonder how many kegs did she drink to get that way?
I wonder if she has any brain damage from drinking so much.
Not sure about the brain damage but her liver might have seen better days.
That and her kidneys might be racing to see which is needed first, an allograft or dialysis.
I think you can cancel out liver and brain damage by sobering up at a place like Denny’s. Maybe.
That, or you can go talk to Danny. Though that might just drive you to drink more.
What? Brain damage from drinking is a myth.
I would think that would depend on what you do while drunk.
Not true (http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa63/aa63.htm.) Although the most horrifying and debilitating alcohol-related brain syndromes are secondary to heavy and prolonged alcohol abuse, some are also primary to heavy drinking.
My grandfather had pretty severe alcoholic’s dementia. I can tell you that alcohol causing brain damage is far from a myth.
…a TRUE myth??
Billie is a saint, you take that back.
St. Monica, maybe.
I’d say she’s more St. Ides than St. Monica, at the moment…
And fuck Coors for making commercials with Ice Cube that don’t have him rapping about drinking.
No…Billie is the Demo man.
Does that make Sarah the scout then?
Pretty much…and I’m guessing that Dina’s the Spy.
…. would that make Amber the Soldier?
And Joyce is the Pyro…or Danny.
Amber can fool the entire campus with a paper-thin disguise, and skulks around in the dark to ambush people… yet Dina’s the Spy?
Scout: Billie (Athletic and overconfident)
Soldier: Ruth (Leadership and misguided rage)
Pyro: Marcie (Goggled and voiceless)*
Heavy: Joyce (Overly cheerful about terrifying things)
Demoman: Sal (Hardy, chip on her shoulder, went around with one eye covered in the Walkyverse for a time)
Engineer: Dina (Vast scientific knowledge, favored companions are neither human nor even alive for that matter)
Spy: Amber (Slinks about in the dark wearing a mask to ambush people, convincing in a paper-thin disguise)
Medic: Mike (A sociopath who helps people by hurting them)
Sniper: Dorothy (Friendly, rational, career-oriented)
*Also considered for Pyro:
Jocelyn (Androgynous) and Ethan (Flaming). I’ll apologize for that last one when I stop snickering at it. I’m a bad person.
In other news, the background color of this site is blue.
In an unrelated news, the sea is wet, the sky is blue, boots to the head hurts and the cow goes “moo”. This has been “No Duh!” News, letting people know the blindingly obvious since 1954.
But, what does the fox say?
The fox said “The grapes were sour.”
‘It’s all Obama’s fault’.
“Little princeling, why do you weep?“
Noooo, that can’t be she’s supposed to be the innocent religious type, p hold on a second I’m being informed on something, ( wait that’s Joyce not her, then who’s Billie? Oh the alcoholic one OK.) Ya no shit she definitely is how can she not be.
Poor Billie. She really does care.
Too bad she’s shit at showing it.
To be honest, Ruth isn’t exactly the best at it either…
Let’s be honest, How many people in this comic are?
Disfunctional does describe a number of the characters in DoA after all.
Are these characters sane in any universe?
True story from the mental ward…
“This is your commitment hearing, do you have any questions for us?”
“Just one, specifically for Dr. Johan. Dr. Johan, what is a perfectly mentally healthy person?”
“A perfectly mentally healthy person does not hear voices…”
*Pst* “Dr. Johan…”
“A perfectly mentally healthy person does not see things that are not there…”
*PSST* “Dr. Johan…”
“A perfectly mentally healthy person does not…
“DOCTOR JOHAN!… There is no such thing as a perfectly mentally healthy person.”
“THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECTLY MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON!!!!!”
Because sometimes, the people who think that they are sane are really characters. I am crazy and I have the paperwork to prove it.
A perfectly mentally healthy person would stop asking me questions!
So my theory that we’re all insane is correct? Great, if I’m normal, I can stop pretending!
“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”
Well, there are an infinite number of universes, so there has to be at least one where they are sane.
That only works if sanity exists. Which is infinitely debatable.
DoA stands for “Dysfunctional? oh, ALWAYS”.
The number being “All of them”.
Dorothy and Walky.
Assuming Walky’s grown past his “throw toys at girls” stage.
Joyce is. SHE SHOWS HER LOVE WITH TRIANGLE SMILES AND HUGS.
They’d make a perfect couple!
Or the other thing. You know, a terrible couple.
I’m imagining Ruth perfectly alive, but in the epicenter of total carnage.
Sure, Ruth is alive. She’s the only thing that is.
Danny and Dorothy are both dead. Amber:”I panicked for nothing!”
Billie: Haha, she’s alive! Who cares about everyone else!
You take care of me, Billie. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.
Are you implying that Ruth is Raiden?
Simon, actually. Close.
Okay, maybe not close at all.
I mean River. Wow, how did I mess THAT one up? Not even the same gender.
I wonder if Billie suffers from any mental problems, given that she doesn’t seem to believe Amber is Amazi Girl after hearing her do a perfect impression, and confess.
She suffers from being plastered out of her friggin’ mind, if that counts.
Also she didn’t see Amber do the impression.
Billie’s definitely more drunk than Sal, and Sal is right in the room. The door is open and she’s looking at Amber after the noisy intro.
Maybe Amber and Sal will check upon Ruth together.
So if Amber is using Amazi-Girl’s voice, should Amazi-Girl be tagged for today’s comic, or…?
Nah, that’s not Amazi-Girl. That’s just Amber pretending to be Amazi-Girl. (No, that’s not a “_____ is Amazi-Girl!” joke.)
Nah, because it is still her Amber persona.
We’ll she is dru- what the hell I’m I doing I went over this yesterday.
Temporary, alcohol related mental problems, widely known as being totally drunk.
You’re going to do something terrible.
I have a “Damn You Willis” button prepared in advanced.
There’s a button?!
If not, can we have one added to the site as a stretch goal for the next Kickstarter?
How much do we have to raise so that when the button is pressed we hear Peter Cullen saying it?
Probably a lot, right?
If I should ever encounter Peter Cullen at a con, I swear I will get him to say “Damn you Willis” and record it.
You realize of course I’m going to hold you to that.
Someone also has to get Frank Welker.
Ooh, and Dan Gilvezan.
There is a button, it’s next to the Get Out Of My Head Randall button.
And now they’re friends, which is going to make the whole Sal situation awkward.
Hey Amber, Have you met my roomate Amazi-girl?
wow dat alt text just lol
Amazi-girl should do PSAs.
And Knowing Is Impervious To Criticism
You’re Still Wrong (You Stupid Drunk)
“Even wearing a cape doesn’t make you less of a vigilante.”
Hey kids…remember, don’t do the crime…if you can’t take the beatdown.
I concur. Everyone would listen to her, just so that they don’t get hurt!
I can’t be the only one who regards Amazi-Girl as a role model.
Dawww (hic) Dawwww!
This interaction is gold. Pure fucking gold.
Amber could always do some work as a ventriloquist if she gets kicked out for being Amazi-Girl. It might fool only Billy, Danny, or Blaine, but you have to start somewhere!
I’m convinced it managed to fool most of the student body.
Based on Amber complaining that folks know about her bastard dad now, I think we’re meant to think she’s taken pains to ensure very few people have actually been paying attention to her out of costume.
Does this mean that Danny if going to experience a pain in the ass in the near future?
Good thing I took that Ventriliquey lessons!
She’s like Batman, she trains to be the best at everything.
Including having ‘compartmentalized’ personalities.
Isn’t Batman “Batman” all the time?
Clearly you haven’t met Billionaire Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne? I invited that guy to a charity auction one time but said he had “important business”. Who has important business at 9 pm?!?
Vince McMahon on Monday nights?
Do you really have to ask with guy who is pretty much known as the billionaire playboy?
Ah, the reboot of Millionaire Bruce Wayne that accounted for decades of inflation.
Bruce Wayne is just Batman in disguise.
wow was Amazi-Girl actually in the hallway
hmmm seems likely
btw I love your avatar, Paranormal is a great webcomic
Paranormal is great, but have you read this really cool one called Paranatural? It’s about a kids with ghost powers!
You mean Danny Phantom?
that’s the one I mean. heh, I got names and words mixed up.
I just stared at this comic in absolute shock for five minutes, and then whispered, “Don’t cry, goddamn it.” These comics come out way too late for me to have appropriate emotional responses. Billie just makes me SO SAD.
I’m so sad. So very very Sad.
*click* *click* *click* *click*
It’s not a race, guys!”
You come into the threshold of another starless night of fear
You’re running from the demons that would drag you down again
Illusions of the world are spinning out of time and frame and synchronicity
You’re so sad/You’re such a sad-eyed girl
You’re so sad/In your subplot
I hope this ends well. It wont i know it.
Best case scenario Billie and Ruth get drunk, make up and have a make out session in the hall and ask Amber if she wants to join.
Worst case scenario – actually, there’s no point me thinking of one, because it could always be worse.
Best outcome would be that Ruth tells Billie that she wants nothing to do with a drunk. That *might* bottom Billie out; I don’t think that there’s anything which will get her to seriously get the help she desperately needs.
Ruth’s going to be OK, as long as someone doesn’t pull any shit Willis I’m looking at you.
*G.I. Joe ending music plays*
Is it bad that I like the glasses-askew look on Billie?
No. Askew glasses for all the DoA Ladies!
Glasses-askew will never become my Rule 36.
This look better not become popular with the youths.
Watch as someone makes billions from selling glasses designed to not stay on your face properly.
They do wear jeggings after all.
Suddenly I want Willis to introduce a new character named Glasses Askew.
So sad, yet I’m cracking up.
I thought the strip from last sunday was the best one so far, but it just got kicked off the top spot by this one.
Wait a second, Amazi-Girl isn’t tagged…
Hey, weren’t we promised that nobody was gonna die in this comic?
Or am I just being naive and trusting?
Don’t worry — nobody dies in this story. They just get really big liver diseases.
They just go to another dimension.
They get imprisoned.
Or imprisoned in the place they were banished to.
Unless they quit being banished, of course.
Shouldn’t you be…. FRYING something??
I see what you did there…
And now I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever relied on his alterego to convince drunk friends into doing stuff.
Of course, God knows what happens when Superman’s Drunk of his ass
“… You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”
… Superdickery covers?
Dun dun dun….
And then Howard shows up.
“Game of Thrones! Game of… Billie, what happened? Did the lesbian babies make you sick? Who’s that other girl? I’M TELLING RUTH! Oh wow a Game of Throne!”
Watch out for snakes.
I don’t see any cardboard boxes lying around.
Yeah, we haven’t heard from Ruth in a while. Hmmmm. And maybe Billie is feeling a bit guilty about everything?
Of course, drinking to escape your problems never helps much, except to add the problem of a hangover to the list.
Damn! Billie you stupid shit. Go to AAA. If you don’t have alcohol poisioning
and choke to death on your vomit tonight.
Good on you Amber, you’re doing well so far.
But, yeah, go check on Ruth.
AAA could help with those trucks…
Like we’ve said before all the liquid in her body is 90%,Alcohol she goes down there three times a week so they can study her as the 8th wonder of the world.
Ishe goes down to the medical reaserch labs too – God damn me for not spell checking.
8th? I thought Andre the Giant was the 8th wonder of the world.
Yes. Go to AAA. Get your Car repaired.
Wait, did we ever find out what was blocking the garbage chute?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t Ruth, you friggin’ weirdo.
It was the truck. Ruth killed it and stuffed it down there. It was an amazing feat… trucks don’t even need their femurs to live.
This is a mad, mad, mad idea, I know, but have you considered the possibility that it may have been -garbage-?
Wanna bet Sal comes out of the door after Amber leaves an says:
“Ah heard that voice before.”
Then shit will really hit the fan…..
If that happens, I’ll testify about your calling on it!
Great, so now Amber is officially Amazi-Girl’s “friend” XD Nothing like the classics!!
So…Amazi-Girl’s Pal, Amber O’Malley?
Yup. Just like Clark Kent is pals with you-know-who, and Batman occasionally calls up his playboy millionaire friend for backup ^^
don’t you joke about trucks and my favorite red-head, bad willis, no.
Over/under on how long it takes for us to know Ruth’s fate?
I’m thinking either one week or six weeks.
She’s fine, Amazi-girl just checked!
No Amazigirl tag. Huh
And now all I can think is that Carla and Ruth hook up.
lollll last panel cracks me up.
DoA Amazi-Girl: Not -always- picking fights. Sometimes offering anti-hangover advice!
… somebody please do that amber amzi-girl exchange with bruce wayne and batman.
Too soon for that hovertext Willis, still too soon.
Amazi-girl, a new breed of hero, the (Agony) Aunty Hero.
I’m here all week, try the chopped liver!
“go check for trucks” ouch…ride in the feels, Willis…
I’m confused. Did I miss a big chunk of joyce n walky? Was ruth hit or smth?
It’s from all the way back in Roomies. Ruth sacrificed her life ramming a drunk Danny’s car off the road and out of the way of an oncoming truck in the Walkyverse. She didn’t survive hitting the truck herself.
Yeah, Danny’s responsible for Ruth’s death in that world. It’s why she doesn’t appear again until the scenes in the afterlife.
Ruth’s totally going to choke on her own vomit.
Actually, I think Willis said that no-one was going to die in this universe.
So Blaine can only ever be a disappointment to me 🙁
Not necessarily. The reason Willis doesn’t want to kill anybody is because the mourning period in strip would last for years of real time, and that’s depressing. I don’t know that anybody would really mourn Blaine.
Hm. I know we were told nobody gets hit with a truck, but were we also told there will be no jumps so-many-weeks into the future?
Amber would have difficult to understand emotions…..forever!
Alternatively, Blaine could end up comatose for the rest of his life.
Yes, in THIS universe.
I don’t even know why Amber’s trying to hide it. Billie’s so drunk, Bruce Wayne could tell her he was Batman and she wouldn’t remember.
She’s not trying to hide it, but Billie doesn’t believe her, and this is quicker than trying to convince someone who’s nine sheets to the wind that no, really, she is Amazi-Girl.
I like that Amber actually uses her alter-ego to do something good and selfless again. I mean, after she used Amazi-Girl twice to “fix” her past.
Jeez, she’s so hammered, that I have a hang over right now
If Billie drinks Ruthless brand beer, we could say she’s getting hammered on Ruthless because she’s not getting nailed by Ruthless.
I like how she’s too drunk to notice it was the same person doing both voices. Also, a Sal in the dark, anyone?
Where was Billie drinking? I assumed she did all her drinking in her room, but then she wouldn’t have gotten lost out in the hallway…
Unless she got drunk in her room and then wandered off in search of Ruth. Who says that was Ruth’s door she was leaning up against?
There’s a plate on it. We’ve seen that plate before, it identifies Ruth as the RA.
Wait, shit, if Sal’s present and awake, she’ll witness (or even just hear) Amazi-Girl being nice to the half-white underage drinker. After trying to assault the half-black one.
Well, Sal’s half-white too… How strongly does Billie even identify with her Asian half? Hmm.
…Point still stands, though.
…. seriously, though, someone go check on Ruth.
I wonder if Ruth is like Sean Bean and she’s the girl who dies.
“Okay yay thanks Amazi-Girl I will”
Is this the cutest line ever in Dumbing of Age ? I think it might be. Unless you want to tell me Billie is being sarcastic, and she’s clearly not in a state to be sarcastic so no, it is the cutest line ever in Dumbing of Age.
It is absolutely genuine.
Billie is almost always pretending to be mature, and intelligent, and sexy, and serious. It’s a shame that she has to get dead drunk before she can be herself.
Or, hang around Walky for 5 seconds. That seems to do it, too.
Billie is totally sexy what’re you talking about.
The others I’ll give you.
Amber could probably make a decent living as a voice actress…..Also this is just adorable!
Still a few sniffles. Billie and Ruth are really good-
When she is drunk, she is really really good, and when she is sober, she’s horrid.
what? Billie is more just ‘irritant – ignore’ if we’re talking about how they’d come off if we had to deal with them.
It’s really cool to see Amber interacting more with the “main cast” lately.
This is the best clark-kenting I’ve seen.
“go check for trucks” AHAHAHAHAHA you’re terrible.
“But you can’t be AmaziGirl! I remember when you had a conversation with her!”
“You were really drunk…”
“I SAW HER WITH YOU I SWEAR IT.”
But this IS how you deal with drunk people – you don’t argue with them, you just ‘bend reality’ to let them have their way…but in a safe way. 🙂
no san diego comic-con, the sorries
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