Yay, the Dumbing of Age Book 4 Kickstarter funded in under 12 hours! Of course, there’s still a bunch of stretch goals left, like keeping our weekend updates going. Saturdays have already been extended, but we need a little more for Sundays to continue as well. We’ve also unlocked our second character magnet pledge level, Dina, so now you can pledge to get either her or an Amazi-Girl magnet. Or pledge big to get all of the ones that will unlock by the end of this campaign!
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EXACTLY! JOY!
CE!
(Yes, I know this joke has been made before. No, I don’t care.)
I’m pretty sure Joyce would be aghast at the idea of using CE rather than AD.
/terrible nerd joke.
you mean
, don’t you?or danny, 17 years ago
It was all a setup? A longer setup than “Four white mages… it’ll never work”?
DAMN YOU WILLIS
Someone please explain “Danny, 17 years ago” and the “Four white mages” joke.
‘Four white mages’ refers to 8-bit Theater, a (finished) webcomic based on the original Final Fantasy game. In one of the earliest pages a character makes a comment how a group of four white mages can’t work to beat the original Final Fantasy game. Guess who defeat the big bad at the end of the comic’s run many years later?
And how do you use the three seashells..?
And out of nowhere – no build up. And off panel, while the main characters complain about how screwed they are. Cause that is the kind of guy Brian Clevinger is 😀
Black Mage: That’s it, I’ve had enough. This whole goddamn adventure has been nothing but pointless build ups toward pay offs that never happen.
Don’t know about the Danny part, but the white mages is from 8-bit theater, another webcomic with a solid bid for the ‘longest set-up ever’ trophy.
I think the 17 years ago bit was a reference to the actual beginning of Roomies! (Willis’ first comic). It started in the late nineties, and Danny was pretty religious – like Joyce has been.
The White Mages thing comes from 8-bit Theatre on nuklearpower.com (at least where I saw it). Very early on someone says that bit in an offhand way. It came back in a big way at the end of the comic.
Dunno about the latter, but this might help explain the former.
Reading this made me uncomfortable.
Imagine how it makes Willis feel!
The latter would be REALLY spoilery of another webcomic.
8 Bit Theater, a webcomic by Brian Clevenger, had a webcomic that was… *sort of* a retelling of the original Final Fantasy. *Sort of*.
Earlier in one of the comics, Black Mage is reading a nintendo power, and states “Four white mages? It’ll never work.” (This is itself a reference to a VERY OLD Nintendo Power, which, as a challenge, suggested a party of four white mages)
Eight years and *1214* comics later, a team comprised of White Mage, Priest, Shaman, and Healer (The later three being characters that sort of only showed up *for this*), kill Chaos off screen. (Chaos was the final boss of the original final fantasy).
At which point Black Mage pulls out that same Nintendo power and goes “Oh god damnit.”
Making it one of the *longest* joke setups in web comic history, at least at the time.
“sort of” in the same sense that freeman’s mind is a retelling of half-life.
‘four white mages’ I can do.
————–Spoilers ———– 😀
Very, very, very early on in 8 Bit Theater, as one of the first gags, Black Mage looks at a strategy guide in Nintendo Power for Final Fantasy. The guide suggests a party of four white mages, which Black Mage contends ‘would never work’. Fast forward to the climactic final battle, where our Light Warriors are spent and defeated, and Chaos, the final boss, is defeated by White Mage, Cleric, Healer, and Shaman. 4 White Mages. This is the end of the comic, more or less – it was a joke 8 years in coming. Clevinger is a master of the craft.
Here are the specific comics being referred to:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/03/20/episode-007-kamehameha-or-something/
http://www.nuklearpower.com/2010/02/20/episode-1221-longest-set-up-in-webcomic-history/
So technically, it was a little under nine years between setup and payoff.
Once someone explained CE and BCE to Joyce, that is.
Maybe. But if she thought about it – she’d realize the dating system hadn’t changed: it’s still based off of the general time-frame of Christ’s birth. Now if we switched to the Chinese or Jewish ways of reckoning dates – then she might be truly aghast. But then, either one of those isn’t really an improvement either: they reflect yet another religion or a philosophy of living, neither of which would satisfy the so-called rational or scientific mind.
Naww, man, she’s clearly LG.
I’d argue NG for Joyce! She’s certainly heading that way, imo.
So, Becky is a nuclear-level lesbian?
Now she’s radioactive, that can’t be good!
but if she bites you then you’ll get lesbian related mutant super powers
how could that not be good?
Because I was referencing the Doom comic, and believe me, it’s not good.
Hey, cool, I actually just rewatched that movie last night.
*Ahem*. Becky upon seeing how close Dorothy is with Joyce:
“Get away from her you bongo!”
Didnt Becky lose her cursing virginity? Or was that more like cursing 2nd base?
She did, the “bongo” is just a general filter in the comments section.
Nah, that’s the wordfilter. Bongo replaces another word that was getting overused a few weeks back.
Poor Roz….
Roz will get redemption, she’s too complex a character.
If you’re talking about “bongo”, that’s there because the comment system auto-corrects “b to the itch” to “bongo”
I am now disappointed that the filter didn’t correct your post to say “b to the ongo”.
I’ve got an ongo I just can’t scratch!
Mongo Hedberg
My ‘b’ is ongoing!
All the Joyce feels
If Becky can do all that, how the hell could R. Kelly ever get trapped in one of them!?
He didn’t have a Becky.
Simple R. Kelly lacks a nuclear arsenal.
The idea of Becky having access to a nuclear arsenal is a scary one.
“Hey, guess what?! I’m a SUPER-VILLAIN!”
Sexual predators tend to lack courage.
Be free gay babies! Be FREE!
“Game over man, game over!”
The knife game is never over!
(I know the quote, I just never get to post or link to that GIF)
*Looks at Gif on 1 computer* OK, that looks like something I wouldn’t agree to…
*Sees Gif on home computer AKA the more powerful 1…* O_O’ eep…
People are still picking splinters out of their clothes.
And the Bureau is still investigating.
Federally.
The Bureau was destroyed in the explosion. It was right next to the closet. The Nightstand and the Credenza didn’t make it either.
That kind of wanton disregard for furniture should be saved for…I don’t know, Spanish announce tables?
Or multiplication tables.
So “She nuked the closet from orbit” is totally gonna be the name of the next book right?
Probably not, seeing as that spoils the big twist in the first chapter.
Is there actually anyone who buys the books that doesn’t already read the comic, though?
Yes. Some people read exclusively through the Kickstarters, even.
But regardless, I’m pretty sure the title to book 5 is “Hey, guess what, I’m a LESBIAN!”
Well, to be fair, they won’t necessarily know WHO the lesbian is.
Becky will be shouting it, so it would take some cognitive dissonance to not understand.
She’s an actor in a play, of course. SHe’s playing Joyce.
If the human race can be counted on for anything, it’s cognitive dissonance.
There is a saying Daniel the Human keeps saying to me…
“Never underestimate the power of Human stupidity…”
Haha!
Becky should be shouting it from off-panel, with a horrified-looking Joyce front and center…
Her father didn’t see it coming.
This is a great title because college ladies can go home for Thanksgiving and leave the book on their mom’s coffee table. Perfect coming out story
This is an intended secondary usage, yes.
…niiice.
“She seems to try to tell us something…. I can’t really put my finger on it.”
Awesome 🙂
Love it.
… Well, *makes note for future to buy paper copy of book five just in case I have family members who still don’t know*
Needs to be longer.
That would be perfect for the book with the return of Becky.
The cover should have Becky looking at Joyce’s cloths in her close and simply saying: “Nuke it from orbit.”
“No playing in the heavy water/No singing in the acid rain/Red Alert, Red Alert…”–Rush
High Five for Distant Early Warning reference!
Much as, I suspect, Joyce will one day do to her virginity. =p
I wonder who she’ll lose it to.
I’m putting bets on Other Jacob.
And who’s holding it?
As tempting as it would be to say Becky, I think I’m gonna go with… um… Jacob, just for irony’s sake.
He totally counts.
Joyce will remain a virgin until her honeymoon when she gives up her pearl of great price to her future husband, who has yet to be introduced to this cartoon.
So what you’re saying is that DOA is a bizarro genderswapped version of HIMYM.
Never watched the show, so don’t know what you’re referring to.
Ryan……..
*runs away from comment section*
Much as, I suspect, Joyce will one day do to her virginity. =p
She’s going to lose it to a Rod From God?
Jacob han’t yet gotten that nickname, but give it time.
I’ve heard that losing your virginity can hurt, but that approach would seem likely to guarantee it!
(Admittedly it wouldn’t hurt for long…)
Methinks Joyce would lose a bit more than her virginity.
It was the ONLY way to be sure.
Nuked it Strangelove style.
Riding a bombshell?
Don’t forget the hat.
Joyce is being the best ally she can.
Right?? It’s heartwarming.
She’s finally not being female Danny!
It seems unfair to say “female Danny” in this case because Danny is an LGBT teen who needs a supportive friend.
I adore that fourth panel because I feel that a lot of people miss that.
I really like Joyce here. If only people in life were this understanding, regardless of their background.
She can be annoying, but she does have a good heart.
And with that, Joyce takes another step in the right direction. And knowing this comic, that can only mean bad times are a comin. Which is why I shall now hide in the closet Becky was in… in orbit… I’mgoingtospaceyouguyscantgowithmebyeeeeeee.
Maybe Joyce’s parents find out about Becky, and think she’s a lesbian?
I feel like the tragedy of errors that will inevitably result when Joyce’s parents catch wind of what’s going on is somehow going to end in Jocelyn coming out to her family. And that frightens me.
That is going to be one hell of a nuke.
Well, she never called her mom back after Mike’s sheningans, i bet.
Ooooh, that is… uncomfortably possible, knowing this comic, Jocelyn’s popularity, and Willis’s propensity for drama.
Maybe someone sees her attending the meeting with Ethan and Misunderstandings Happen.
“No I don’t have a crush on Dorothy! Even though she’s super cute, and has a great personality! Wait a minute….”
I really feel like that is very much a possibility if she went.
We already knew bad times were coming. Billie & Ruth (& bottle of scotch), Amber & Amazi-Girl, Ross… there is a lot of bad on the horizon. This is Willis we’re talking about, after all – always striking a balance between the heartwarming and the tragic, even if there will be no trucks involved this time around.
The Rollercoaster Principle:
The higher one gets emotionally, the worse the inevitable bad events will be.
Seeing how high Willis has set this hill, it’s just gonna go lower than the floor.
Aarrree you so sure of that ? 🙂
The no trucks thing? I think he’s said so in the past. Had enough death in It’s Walky! for two universes, I guess.
That quote from Aliens never gets old
XD
“Game over, man! GAME OVER!!”
Something tells me I need to watch a movie. Aliens, right? I’m told it’s kinda “Alien 2”, a sequel to Alien…
YAY handled well on all sides YAY
People talking about their problems in a healthy way? In my webcomic?
Willis, did you and Jeph collude to reference Aliens on the same day on purpose, or was this the kind of coincidence that mostly comes out at night?
Well, Randy Millholland made a reference to Willis’ butt-drawing skills today, so maybe there’s more than mere coincidence operating here…
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp03312015.shtml
Ethan please just go! I know you’re scared, but it’s okay. You gotta try.
But it’s good that Joyce is being a respectful as possible. I like that about her. 🙂
Nuked it with tacos?
And nickels!
…. What?
Mmm, nuclear tacos…
Wouldn’t the critical mass be ridiculously huge?
You know, maybe I’m a pessimist but I kinda fear the Becky is going through a phase. I know a few people who were hard core homosexuals only to end up with the opposite gender. Unlike Ethan who seems to be examining himself as an individual, Becky seems to have blind faith. That aside I’m kinda surprised how understanding Joyce is. Pleasant though still surprised.
That won’t happen.
Could what you describe be an artifact of “bisexual erasure”? “I kissed a girl and I liked it, therefore I must be exclusively lesbian because there is no such thing as a person who is attracted to both men and women.”
Maybe. I never asked, but that could be. I believe that they would have identified as purely homosexual and only later realized they had more interests. Personally I believe all people are varying degrees of pan sexual to asexual, don’t put too much thought into it.
I think you’re confusing bisexuality and pansexuality with “a phase.” If she kissed a girl and enjoyed it, I think we can safely say that she is interested in girls. Also Willis has said outside the comics that she’s a lesbian, so I doubt that she’s bi or pan.
I was referring to the people Annabanana knows, not to Becky. The media tends to deny that bisexuals exist–everyone is either straight or gay–and apparently some lesbians also violently reject the possibility, as mentioned by Killjoy in the comments to yesterday’s strip. This can lead to someone who doesn’t know better assuming that a same-sex crush must mean that they must be exclusively gay now.
One of the more egregious examples from media was Willow on Buffy the Vampire slayer. She even had the tagline “Hello, gay now” in the later seasons–despite the fact that she had experienced genuinely had the hots for at least two male characters before meeting her partner Tara, and her vampire alter-ego (who was less hung up on conforming to anyone’s rules) clearly swung both ways.
If only closets were as easy to destroy as Primes.
But Prime comes back all the time. That’s why there’s a tfwiki article about it.
There are foods harder to destroy than Primes.
But they never stay dead do they?
Look, if you want to kill Prime, just use a motion sensor and a lot of pressurized dioxygen difluoride. It’ll not only melt his armor, it’ll burn it too. Seriously, this approach works on 100% of all characters. Even non-physical creatures will probably be destroyed due to the sheer heat bumping around whatever intrusions into this reality so fast that they take non-physical parts of the creature along with them and tear them from each other.
You’d FOOF Prime? Harsh, man.
FOOF!
1. Rabat banned FOOF because it’s inefficient.
2. Two, what am I supposed to keep it in?
3. Find me a Decepticon willing to work with FOOF, and I’ll show you someone’s already dead.
Well, Ethan, as some people try to re-enter on their own it’s the only way to be sure.
And as I read your comment I was picturing an astronaut de-orbiting in just a space suit… The Ultimate HALO jump.
High Altitude Low Opening, Or HALO Master Chief? Cause Halo Master Chief does do re-entry in just his armour once or twice. Without parachute each time too. I’d see if my armour could take a landing like that, but I prefer to just fly…
The first, High Altitude (can’t get much higher than orbit) Low Opening. I mean sure you can get to higher orbits but as far as skydiving is concerned once you leave the atmosphere it’s all the same. I wanna see someone re-enter from the ISS… Suit up, use a thruster pistol to de-orbit (or maybe a retro-rocket on a personal heat shield) and belly-flop into the atmosphere.
For some odd reason, Joyce’s language here and in the previous strip makes me think this meeting for “questioning” people is going to lead more toward the “straightening out” endgame. Might just be the wording but it’s odd.
Joyce begins to realize there are limits to what she can accomplish. It will be a hard lesson for her.
That’s what Galactos’ orbital lasers are for.
I like that Ethan actually considers going through it to ease Joyce’s conscience. (“I can’t” as opposed to “I’m not”.) It would also have made them a terrible couple – that right there is the worst kind of feedback loop.
Yeah. It’s noble of him… but it’s much better for both of them that he says no to those terms, thus giving Joyce a chance to learn/understand why that’s the wrong way.
Now Joyce should have the talk with Amber.
Joyce might want to apologize to her , ( now that she fully understands Ambers table flipping rage ) and they can Bond over helping Ethan.
and Joyce can get Ambers Help on the Becky Situation.
I see Amazigirl being needed soon
As you said – not Amaziegirl is needed as much as Amber, and that will be scary new ground for Amber.
Funny. The other welcoming I read regularly, Questionable Content, also did an ‘Aliens’ reference today. Must be something in the air…
Webcomic. Not welcoming. Good grief, got to get that damned autocorrect sorted.
Also, it’s not 2.30 in the morning here. It’s 7.30.
Spellwrecker knows what you should have written even when you don’t.
‘Aliens’? Or Helmuth von Moltke?
Well I don’t know the chap, but Aliens is at least the place most people know this quote from.
That wasn’t an “Aliens” reference, that quote was made in the American Civil War. On both sides.
what. I know that must be some manner of joke, but I sure don’t get it.
“No plan survives past first encounter with the enemy intact”.
Nailed it – Ethan.Your leaving the closet or not can’t be due to Joyce’s conscience. I’m glad you could explain it that well to Joyce.
Heh, like someone said yesterday – Joyce doesn’t do things by half. Now she will be the BEST tolerant friend of gay people there is.
Also, this support for Becky is heartwarming. Despite everything else – worry for Becky’s situation, fear that she’s going to hell, a deep hidden but fully understandable annoyance that Becky made everything complicated instead of just letting it be as it was before, admiration for Becky’s courage… – Joyce sees and acknowledges the sheer JOY and relief Becky feels.
And I’m glad that Joyce seems to have understood and accepted it.
The Ellen Ripley Option: good for Bug Hunts, Middle East peace, and out-of-control internet forums.
That would be an acceptable reason to have a sequel to Alien: Resurrection: make a bunch of Ripley clones to moderate forums.
Feels like Joyce and Ethan are both mistaking “making the best of a painful situation” for mere joy at being out of the closet. Kind of surprised Ethan’s oblivious to that, as he’s afraid of the exact same repercussions of being outed at the wrong time Becky is currently experiencing.
Yeah, I agree with Ethan. I had personally thought my coming out of the closet, which I have dubbed the “napalm and hand grenades,” was a little lacking in subtlety. Becky’s been showing me up! D:
Ethan is also right in his explanation to Joyce. Not everyone can be as out as Becky and myself. My best friend is pretty subtle and somewhat envious of my eternal state of “out,” but she has her reasons for subtlety.
Aliens references never fail to charm.
Of course, the movie still deserves to be quoted.
Next time Ethan’s mom shows up Joyce will fight her while driving a Power Loader.
If I could, I would pay to see that happen. Maybe Mr Willis or 1 of the other artists on here can make it happen…
STOP SHAMING YOUR SON FOR BEING GAY YOU bongo!
Becky’s response was less deliberate nuke, and more immediate escalation to DEFCON 0 (defense readiness condition 1 is the Nukes are about to fly, but not yet launched). She got pushed out of the closet and when her dad escalated tensions to something like DEFCON 3, Becky just flipped up plastic cover and mashed the big red “fire all the things” button.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Yeah, once the matter was already bridges set to burn, she decided to make sure both sides of the river were gone, too.
And the river itself.
And the charming pastoral scene nearby starring White Jesus and some kids, because fuck that thing.
how did she get the nuclear luanch codes to achive such a thing?
*Slowly walks away, whistling badly…*
You gotta nuke it when everyone is trying to shove you back in.
Maybe that’s why Ethan’s protecting his. Everyone is trying to shove him out.
Well, almost everyone. His parents are most certainly trying (and succeeding) to shove him in.
Do you think that if a single dude who likes dudes approached Ethan and expressed interest…do you think Ethan would be more willing to come out?
I feel like he needs to get laid, you know? Or kissed. I mean I know that getting laid or kissed isn’t the answer to all problems ever…but it might help nudge him out.
What might actually help was if Ethan himself was interested in a guy who would only date out guys. That might be something that would actually help.
I don’t think he needs to get laid, but getting nay kind of dude action would clue him into what he’s missing out on. Right now it’s just an abstract possibility, he’s just switched which kind of fantasies he’s having, he doesn’t think it’s that important because he hasn’t experienced it. You can’t really miss what you’ve never had.
There is no such thing as a guy who doesn’t need to get laid.
brace yourself
Asexual guys? Possibly demisexual guys? Guys who are allosexual but just don’t have much of a sex drive and currently aren’t in the mood?
*Reads allosexual, gets processor image of someone only turned on by Allosaurus, Tyranosaurus Rex’s grandfather…*
How do you think Dina was conceived?
Actually, bad idea. Scratch that comment.
On top of everything they said, I think you’re making the common mistake of confusing “want” with “need”.
Given his reactions anytime any guy has even begun to show any interest (Danny, Joshua (actually Jocelyne and not a guy, but …)), I suspect Ethan would forget about the closet entirely the first time he has the chance. He might try to get back in after, but he’s got no resistance.
Why on earth does Joyce feel so guilty about Becky?
She has repeated multiple times how she has been an asshole to Becky, but as far as we are concerned, she always treated her with respect. Not only that, the moment she found out Becky was into girls, she was willing to challenge her own system of believes to support her best friend. That’s pretty much the best thing you can do for someone.
No offense, but the whole idea she has a reason to feel guilty (out of no other than Dorothy, who is this comic’s voice of reason) is just assinine. :v
I suspect she feels guilty because Becky has been gay for a long time (even though she only admitted it recently) and Joyce is remembering everything she ever said about gay people around Becky over the last ten years or so.
She does seem to have one hecka of martyr complex (the whole Becky getting angry because Joyce won’t get angry thing) going on but at least its channeled in a healthy way but yeah I don’t get the whole treating the both of them awfully either
Sarah, and I think Amber, have told Joyce that she was being horrible to Ethan some time back. The business with Becky primed her to believe it.
At worst she was enabling Ethan which is what Ethan wanted at the time and I can quite understand Ambers anger over the matter but yeah I could see how that would have an effect on here
her dagnabbit her not here
What Roz said.
I don’t recall Dorothy ever saying that Joyce should feel guilty about the way she’s treated Becky. She’s clearly disappointed in Joyce for dating/trying to straighten Ethan, though she hasn’t actually said anything to Joyce about it, but that’s a separate matter.