I know something else she’s waited to do a long time 😉
Me: Becky! how many times do I have to tell you to ask before using my-
(I turn just in time seeing becky bolt out the door and scroll up to the strip)
M: BECKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Think you miss the point. Sarah is just learning to reach out again.
All these feels are gonna kill her :).
I’m so happy she is in the midst of this, but she wouldn’t admit she is too anyone (yet).
I think masks might be one of the big subthemes of this series. We have so many characters who use a mask of one form or another to try and protect their core self. Whether it be Becky’s wacky Becky mask, Carla’s “I swear I’m an asshole and you should be scared of me” mask, Joyce’s mask of happy go-lucky christian girl, Walky’s mask of goofball dudebro, or Amazi-girl’s literal mask marking the split between her alters.
All doing it for essentially the same reason. To try and protect themselves against the blows they suffered in the past.
And Sarah is no exception. She’s been burned before trying to help the white girl roommate and she got a year of abuse and nearly lost her one shot at her dream. So she needs her mask of studied apathy and grumpiness to try and protect her from getting emotionally entangled again. But that mask wasn’t wholly healthy and she was lashing out at happy people around her because she couldn’t quite keep that intentional emotional difference.
And so now, she’s letting slip the mask. But that’s still a negative thing for her, it’s a sacrificing of a protection and revealing a vulnerability.
So damn skippy she blames Dina for that because it was partially Dina calling her out on her shit that really allowed her to be self-aware of what she was doing when she accidentally lashed out at Joyce. And her friendship with Dina that has allowed her to start making human connections that aren’t just about saving the roommate to save the world.
It’s a beautiful moment and she 100% blames Dina for it, even if she knows that she’s in a better place at the end of the day.
Not everyone wants a group hug? It’s super cute to look at sure, but this is a level of intimacy she barely can express with joyce. Having Dina and Becky come in is probably legitimately stressing her out a bit.
Her personal space is definitely being infringed upon, but I think it’s a gentle infringement, benevolent, and not going too far. I’d call it a growth experience.
Like, yes, this moment is cute and funny, but it was a private moment and an incredibly difficult expression of love from Sarah, and now she’s having it rubbed in her face by Dina.
Yeah. I mean, Becky and Joyce really needed this, and Dina is happy to be there for her friends, but I don’t know that the group hug is really making this moment better for Sarah.
(I don’t know that it’s not, either; give it a week and see how she reacts. But I do hope that nobody takes this as reason to start hugging her in general. Sympathy via physical contact only works if the recipient wants it.)
Dina did not rub anyone’s face in anything. Sarah was hugging Joyce. Becky saw Joyce crying and joined in, finally feeling like she could let her feelings go, too. Dina came along for support.
This made Sarah uncomfortable, and she made a snarky remark to Dina to deal with it. Dina understood this and gave a mischievous smile back.
This is Dina we’re talking about. You really think she’s that big an asshole?
You commented on that three people in a row had Raidah for their avatar. The next one in line is Sarah. “They all look alike” is a cliche racist line in reference to those of african decent with dark skin.
They stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower, With Faz in front of them.
Joyce: Faz! Faz is the guy with the cards!
Faz: I’ve been watching your movements for a while now. My base of operations isn’t far from here.
Mary: This is certainly unexpected.
Joyce turns to Mary
Joyce: Did you know it was Faz?
Mary: No idea.
Faz: Can we get going yet?
Joyce: I guess.
They walk down the Eiffel Tower and reach the street.
They walk a bit until they reach a small house. Faz pulls out a key and unlocks the door.
They follow Faz down to his basement. Where a hot stone vat filled with a mysterious red soupy liquid sits in the middle of the stone floor. Charts liter the walls and several issues of Playboy are casually scattered around the floor.
Becky: Yep. This is pretty much what I would expect Faz’s base of operations to look like.
Joyce: So, you know the secret to resurrection?
Faz: Yes, but I wouldn’t advise it.
Joyce: So can you bring Danny back?
Faz: Do you have a sacrifice?
Mary: A what?
Faz: You see, the problem with trying to bring someone back from the dead is that in order to be allowed to bring a soul back, you must be willing to give a replacement. Know, if you were able to find something that was worth the price of a human soul…
Joyce: Otherwise you need a sacrifice.
Faz: Yep.
Dorothy: But, Carol is trying to bring back Blaine.
Faz: She’ll need a sacrifice.
Joyce: She’ll probably just use one of her followers.
Faz: It’s worth noting that the purer the soul. The more effective the resurrection will be.
Mary: That explains why she kidnapped you.
Joyce: So, she’d need to find someone else innocent.
Becky: She could find someone ever purer than you.
Walky: But who would that be…
Meanwhile…
Riley sits on the couch at home, watching cartoons. Suddenly a dark figure appears before her.
Riley tries to scream, but is silenced by a large hand. Her remote clattering to the floor.
You say ‘Comfort Me!’ to anyone who approaches
Chalkin’ up the hurt–you live and you learn
But we both are old enough to know that we’d trade it all right now
For just one minute of Real Love…
but dina has dibs on becky so would that mean dina has dibs on joyce? or wait does becky have dibs on dina? in which case can you have dibs on two people?
probably closer to one than i am from a sexuality stand point. I have only had intercourse once and honestly if i never do again i dont see me missing it.
Polyamorous is multiple loves/relationships. Essentially ethical non-monogamy.
Wouldn’t necessarily be “dibs” on two people, but definitely a situation in which multiple dibs could be made and others could potentially have multiple dibs themselves.
@Cerberus: which kinda renders the concept of “dibs” moot. Seeing how calling dibs on people is not a concept I feel particularly comfortable with, I’m totally okay with it becoming useless.
‘Dibs’ in general is a bit childish. Asexuality isn’t, though it is something I just can’t seem to process. 20 years ago me might have been able to. but not now. But obviously, one should not be forced to partake of something they do not want.
I am not opposed to sex, especially if it made someone i cared about happy, but at the same time i don’t care enough to try to find it. I lost track of how many years it has been. somewhere between five and ten i think.
I mean sex isn’t painful or anything but it isn’t nearly as enjoyable as people said it would be. Although lots of people say i should try it more than once to develop an opinion
You know how there are people you aren’t sexually attracted to? Like if you’re straight, people of your gender are just whatever or if you’re gay, people of another gender are just whatever, or if you’re some flavor of bi or pan, how there’s a bunch of people that don’t really make you go “oh wow, damn”.
Imagine that was everyone.
That is my life experience as an asexual. I don’t find sex gross. I have sex sometimes, but that spark, that chemistry, that sexual attraction, I just don’t experience that.
Alright then Cerberus, thank you. Musta been thinking of something else then. So many different things. Though being a cis-straight male that only wants to be with one person may make it hard to fully process somethings.
Look. You have to earn your right to a Sarah hug. You can’t just leverage your emotions and connections into a free one. Becky, Dina, I know you’re hurting and Joyce is your friend…….but you aint at that level yet.
I feel creeped out when i am randomly hugged. I just don’t speak up because I feel like it would be social suicide to be how i am and deny random physical contact. I want to know it is going to happen so i can mentally prepare.
You could try just asking for if people could give you some warning first. They’d be a lot less likely to take offense to that.
I think telling them you’re a little agoraphobic would also avoid any hurt feelings. (Whether or not it’s technically accurate). At least in my experience, phobias seem to be something most people can understand the basics of, and they would probably understand that isn’t not that you would dislike hugging them so much as it would cause your brain to scream “OH GOD THIS IS HORRRIBLE” at you
but I have said before to most people who i spend any level of time with that the only fears i seem to have are as follows with said conditions (i might have more i haven’t discovered though)
1: heights but only when i dont feel something secure under me. such as i do bad on tall ladders but planes would be fine
2: small places but only when i dont feel like i could get away. like i can stay in a small room or be stuck on say a plan but i cant be stuck in a small place.
wouldn’t saying I have another phobia be contradicting my stated canon?
I suppose it would work better with new people in that case. Though I think people who know you well enough to notice the inconsistency would also be able to handle the truth; namely, that you were afraid to bring it up before because you didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I am not worried about their feelings per say. I am more worried about the eyes of society gazing upon me in a judging manner pulling at every bit of me until there is not a single part of me that can be seen anymore.
I have a friend who explains her reluctance around hugging as simply having a “large personal space bubble”. It seems to work well. I think the trick is that it doesn’t sound like a judgement on the potential hugger.
with a few exceptions a lot of personal space bubble specifics fluxuate a ton based on my mood even thought the unexpected hugs are never appealing so far.
Honestly, I just tell people I’m not much for hugging and that’s fine. In my case no ones ever been really weirded out by it. I don’t mind giving my friends a hug, but when people i dont know very well hug me I can find it uncomfortable aha.
I cannot imagine anyone thinking that way about “canon.” To be honest, you sound like you have some social anxiety, worrying about people judging you.
So I’ll give a really important thing I learned about. It’s called the “spotlight effect.” People don’t notice you nearly as much as you think they do. The other is that the people who would judge you in this manner generally are not great people to be around. There’s a reason why there’s the term “judgmental asshole.” They are the one committing the faux pas.
No real friend is gonna have a problem with you having a personal space issue. And, for strangers, they are supposed to respect your personal space.
I’d suggest letting your most trusted friends know about the hugging thing, and then discuss with them how to handle it. There are even non-verbal cues you can do. And then other actions you can do to make sure it doesn’t come off as you not liking them.
You don’t need to apologize for not hugging, or for wanting a warning first. It’s your body, after all! You get to decide what to do with your body!
When I’m not in a hugging mod, I offer a high-five instead, with a big smile. Exactly one person was annoying about this (pouted and whined that I wouldn’t give him a hug) which told me that he is a creep, and now he doesn’t get my attention. Every other person in the world has smiled and happily high-fived me. High fives are 100% great.
Most family expects me to go along with normal physical interactions, but I do have a Grandmother-in-law who always asks if it’s alright to give me a hug. I always say yes, cause then I’m ready for it.
If I’m at work and I get bumped into, I’m fine. But if someone touches me to get my attention, I get skeeved out. So you only get a hug if you want it.
It’s healthy to have a good cry every once in a while. It feels even better to do so in the presence of someone you trust. I know when my depression/anxiety is really bad if I can’t bring myself to feel the emotions enough to cry at all.
Smug? I’d say more sheepish, but not quite. “Sorry about this group hug, Sarah, but not really sorry. Now let’s proceed with this sympathy through medium group-style physical contact.”
Not before we see a montage of Sarah brushing her teeth, going to class, and eating lunch while still trapped in the group hug (which grows as they encounter more people).
I love how it takes Becky about three nanoseconds from farting around in her or Dina’s room to show up with support when Joyce starts crying…
…which come to think of it says something about how tightly Becky is wound up and how stressful this weekend has been for her.
She has tried SO HARD to support Joyce. She downplayed her own stress, she did what she could to soften Carol’s blows and even back in her home with her mother’s ghost she put on the Wacky Becky mask. But one look at Joyce crying and she is reduced to tears herself.
AND IT IS WELL OVER DUE that these two wonderful friends can finally cry about all the shit that’s going on. See, Becky. It is OK to drop the mask around Joyce now and then. It is not scary if she cries, it’s healing.
From the tears already on her face, I think Becky had only just stopped crying as they came to see Joyce. Which would make me really happy because that would mean she must have gone to Dina for support, which means she’s actually learning to rely on the little support networks he’s building. She may try to put off telling Joyce, because she’s probably afraid of adding more to her pile of worries, but opening up to Dina would be huge, too.
And of course, finding Joyce crying immediately opens the floodgates for Becky. Those two love each other so hard it can probably be detected from space. Like, I’m pretty sure unicorns are real now because of that last panel.
Yup. The love between Becky and Joyce is just so BEAUTIFUL and I’m so happy they finally can let go of some of the stress from the last weeks.
The ISS astronauts are having a dangerous FEEL overdose and have to jettison the excess into space (which incidentally is a solution fully approved by Sarah). There are some VERY confused zoologists in Copenhagen. The unicorns themselves are pretty chill.
I could see her telling dina how she wishes joyces dad was her dad or something akin to that. wondering why people who she just met treat her better than her real family and how only now is she making a new sort of family. i mean its mostly sisters and her daddy hank.
I think it’s both. I think Becky spent time being comforted by Dina after that big moment with Hank considering she was in a pretty raw state.
And I think seeing Joyce crying after she tried so hard to hold it all in and accept all blows to keep her from breaking, is just too much, especially when she’s got “I’m missing signs” and “suicide” on the brain.
And I think you’re right. Being able to break down and cry and not be hit for it or scolded or feel like a failure is critical. Becky needs to see that her Debby Downer state isn’t actually going to drive all her friends off and she can let down the mask on occasion.
And I love that Joyce is here because she was also holding a mask on tight all weekend, trying to martyr for Becky and not show her fear and anger and desire to just fully collapse. And Becky never asked for that. So letting that go and seeing again and again that Becky emotionally supports her because she wants to and wants Joyce to open up to her about things that are hurting her.
It’s gonna be ugly until the morning, but in the morning, all four of them will likely be in a better place than they were this weekend.
That third paragraph is beautiful. You were talking about masks, Sarah believes she needs her misanthrope mask. Now hopefully she is in the process of seeing she can drop it a little bit. I want to see more of a Dina Sarah friendship: it could be really good for both of them.
First of all, I agree with your opinions, Cerberus.
OK, so here is a thing about language that I just now realised that I think is a bit problematic. Feel free to think I’m full of BS, but here’s my opinion anyway.
The term “break down and cry.”. Now, in itself, it seems accurate enough. And in a way, it even is. What often breaks down is your mental defenses or masks, leading to a moment of pure you. So yeah, it’s an understandable expression in many ways. Heck, the way you are using it indicates clearly that you are using it exactly this way. So far, so good.
But the reason I personally find it problematic is because of the trope “Crying means you’re broken”. Which is one of the reasons (if not -the- reason) we are so damn afraid to cry around other people. It makes us being seen as weak. And that is when I think that the “break down” part becomes problematic, because I suspect that the way many people use it, it’s “breaking down” as in “becoming broken”, rather than “breaking down the masks of pretense.”
I don’t know. Does this even make any sense? And if it does, is it still completely BS? And even if it’s not, are there good alternatives, like “having a good cry”?
Hmm, I can see that. I might think about alternatives, though currently I use break down a lot for moments of intense emotionality and pain processing because it’s the terms I’ve used for myself during my recovery.
I think I might actually use it more frequently to describe someone trying to stifle laughter than tears, as in “I broke down laughing”. I think of it as the mask or wall or pretense that’s breaking, not the person, so it’s never really held any negative connotation for me.
I gathered, but I’d been expecting a different Grace-instigated group hug when I moused over the URL, and was amused by the realization that there have been many.
Well shit. I’m going to lose sleep wondering what happened.
I guess if it’s the whole floor they could just eat her, clean the skeleton, and hide it in the supplies for anat/phys or anthropology classes.
I fear I may have misread your comment earlier. You were talking from Sarah’s POV, weren’t you? That, in her cantankerousness, she took it as Dina rubbing her face in it.
No, I do think Dina’s being a little turd here, especially given Sarah’s extreme difficulty in expressing feelings. I just also think it’s something that makes her a better, more complex character, the way I feel that she’s developed since getting with Becky
What a swift reversal from exactly the wrong thing to say to exactly the right thing.
Joyce has had to be the strong one for so long. She had to be strong for Becky when she came out. She had to be strong for her when Ross showed up with a gun. She had to be strong for her through the weekend with Carol and the church. She had to let Becky know that she loved her absolutely, completely and unflinchingly and that she would never stop fighting for her.
She had to be strong in the face of Carol and the church for herself, too. She couldn’t let them see a moment of weakness. She couldn’t let them know how much she was hurting. She couldn’t let them know that they were getting to her. She couldn’t let them know that every barb, every snide comment, every subtle cold shoulder wounded her in 100 ways that they’d never see. Because the moment they sensed any weakness in her, the moment they saw the slightest crack in her armor, they would rip her apart.
She had to be strong for Hank. Even though he agrees with her, his instinct is to shelter and protect her. Hank knows that Joyce is going to face a lot of terrible things in life and that she’s facing a lot of them right now. I have no doubt that his heart is aching to protect her from everything he can. Joyce had to show him that she was going to be ok, that she was going to come out the other side and be a better, stronger person for it. She had to show him that IU was the best place for her right now.
Hell, she’s had to put on a brave face in the wake of Ryan attempting to rape her at the party. She had to pretend to be ok so that her well-meaning friends wouldn’t do something to cause her parents to take her out of IU. Hell, she has to be strong just to keep walking around campus in spite of her fear. I suspect she feels she has to be strong just so he doesn’t somehow “win” by making her to afraid to continue life as normal.
But right now, in Sarah’s arms, she’s allowed to be weak. She doesn’t have to prove anything to Sarah. She doesn’t have to defend herself from Sarah. She doesn’t have to protect Sarah from anything. In that moment that Sarah hugged her, she could finally drop her sword and shield and just be vulnerable. She could cry. She could begin to process all of the anger, sadness and grief from every shitty thing that’s happened to her in the last month; everything from Ryan to Carol. All because Sarah, in spite of herself, let Joyce know that she loves her, absolutely and unflinchingly no matter what.
Yeah, she’s finally out of the woods. And that’s a moment when a lot of awful is happening at once that is hard to pinpoint and it can be genuinely hard to fully let everything go and collapse and finally process all the awful that’s happened so far.
I’m not sure I’d say she’s out of the woods. Tomorrow she goes back to putting on her bravest face to take on the world. But tonight she can rest. She can start to recover. She can move from trying to put things behind her and actually start to deal with it. She may not be out of the woods, but she’s definitely through the worst of it. Tomorrow will be easier for her knowing that she has people who love her and will support her through it all.
Making me show feelings and kindness and expressing my innermost fears. I will have my revenge.
More to the point, *cracks knuckles
This weekend, hell this last week plus, has really worn down on Joyce and Becky. Joyce breaking down further across every panel, Becky finding her best friend crying after she’s just recovered from a bout of it, sending her into another one. Dina expressing herself in a “more normal” way. Even Sarah letting her facade slips some there, letting Joyce see past the mask, kept hidden so long that Sarah may of been in danger of becoming it.
Panel five does give us a bit of lightheartedness, a bit of the good ol` Sarah, to give us a small laugh or smile. It feels like the ‘End of Book’ is coming soon, and part of me worries if something bad will come before it. It feels like all the characters have been through enough in this book as it is. Hopefully it’ll just wind down.
In honesty, Sarah, I think that there is a sliding scale of ‘fault’ here. Additionally, I think that you really need to think of positives and benefits from the current situation rather than its social awkwardness.
Dina could probably help by looking less smug, I suppose… 😉
She’s been putting up a brave front for so long now I was hoping that she hadn’t forgotten how to let her emotions out and cry. It is unbelievable how much relief there can be in breaking down and crying so long as you are among supportive friends.
Dina is the best. (roll credits) Wait, we’ve already done this bit…
Panels 1-2: I love Sarah here. She’s a good person and is trying to form a genuine apology, some words of full comfort, not realizing that she’s already shown that and so much more.
Joyce knows how big the barriers Sarah’s put up to protect herself and that this sort of comfort is not something that comes easy to her and she knows the trauma of Dana and how heavy that’s weighed on her.
So Joyce knows what Sarah means when she talks about making things less suck. When she offers a hug, not just accepts one. When she lets Joyce just cry and cry and collapse without comment. She knows what it means.
But still Sarah wants to add something. Because much like Carla, no matter how much she wishes she wasn’t, she’s a woman with great empathy and care for others and that’s always going to come out when it’s needed most.
Panel 3: Oh, Becky that face, seeing Joyce in tears, breaking down. That must be terrifying for her. Cause Joyce was someone she knew was teetering and who she has been trying to support at her own expense in similar martyrdom fashion to Joyce. Maybe even someone she worried was becoming… like her mom, hence the strong need to come with.
So seeing her broken, not realizing that this is just catharsis. It’s too much for her mask and you see that in Panel 4.
I think that you might have read Becky wrong. Her fear is because she always assumed that Joyce is the strong one; the one with a plan; the courageous one who leads the cavalry charge for good and right. To see her strength run out must be a terrifying thing indeed.
Of course, Joyce also thinks Becky is the “strong” one. The one that makes sacrifices for Joyce left and right all the fricking time. The one that keeps her faith just fine even after being kidnapped by Toedad… Yeah, we know the drill, right?
So you have this weird stand-off where they both see the other as the “strong” one, and then they both think they themselves need to be “stronger” to ease the burden of the other, but whenever they do that, the other will just automatically assume that they are even “weaker”, and double down on trying to grow “stronger”…
Which leads to so many weird situations between these two people, because as beautiful as they and their friendship are, the one thing they need to realise is that if there is anyone they can absolutely allow themselves to be “weak” with, it’s each other and not try to be the “strong” one all the time!
I posted a longer comment upthread on the themes of masks that seem to pervade the strip, with many characters having a mask to protect themselves from the past consequences of emotional intimacy. And here we see three masks shatter on the floor. Joyce stated the shattering of her mask yesterday in response to Sarah’s accusation.
And Becky, well, that Panel 4 is her wacky Becky mask done and gone at least for tonight. She’s letting herself collapse a little bit though she’s trying to hold back the full collapse by biting her own lip.
But still, this is a collapse she kind of needs to let herself experience. If only to see that those most important to her aren’t going to abandon her or turn on her if she lets the mask slip. That she’s safe from her dad and from the worst of things and can now rebuild her life and let herself be her, fully, including the sadness and pain.
And Sarah, she picks it back up at Panel 4 when she’s encircled by the group hug, but that Panel 3 is her own mask falling off. She’s letting herself be emotionally vulnerable again. She’s letting herself be a caretaker for a roommate again. And she’s letting herself be fully entangled both literal and metaphorically.
And the best part is that they all needed this. Cause each of their masks was starting to hurt them, whether it be because Joyce isn’t sure she wants to be the same person she was when she came here and sees the rot that can exist in silence, because Becky has believed that it’s on her to support but never be supported (emotionally speaking that is), and because Sarah was starting to lash out at people with her fears and traumas.
Panel 5: Of course it is. As Bagge noted above, Dina called this. And Dina called Sarah out on her stewing in her cynicism, leading directly to being more aware of what she was doing and becoming more in a place where she could emotionally reach out.
And that shit-eating grin. She knows. And she’s proud.
I hope Willis is hiring you to write things in the print edition of the comic. These analyses of yours add so much to at least my reading of the strip.
On one hand I feel bad for Sarah right now (as a fellow uber-introvert I am barely a hugger – by which I mean I have a certain allotment of hugs in me for a week and once they’re gone, I am running on empty – and not at all a group hugger). She looks so very uncomfortable with the group hug.
On the other hand, Joyce and Becky both are in desperate need of some decompression. Sarah knows that so she’ll tough out the group hug for now… but I fully expect her to set up a “no more group hugs” boundary after this.
On the third hand, this is very good for Joyce and Becky both and I really hope this gets them on the path of healing after all they’ve been through.
Okay I know I was expressing sympathy when you really needed it but can we plz stop nao before it gets
*!!!Sympathy via hugs!!!*
OH GOD IT’S GOTTEN WORSE
Oddly enough, in a strip that is so emotional, Dina’s grin at the end made me smile…which was nice since I’ve been so sad and down lately myself that a good grin made me feel so much better.
Joyce is not broken. Joyce is walking forward and dealing with her bullshit instead of caving and realizing the truth that everything is horrible bullshit.
No. No no no no. I refuse to let this example of “crying equals broken” trope stand there properly unrefuted.
Crying is in fact an emotionally healthy mechanism to deal with sadness. In fact, one can go so far as to say that we may very well be literally crying away the sadness! One study show that emotional tears helps getting rid of those particular hormones through the tear canals. Sure, more studies are called for, but I feel confident that the results will be replicated.
And then, after this good, honest cry, Joyce will feel genuinely better. She can finally have a fully mask-less smile* at the end of it. This moment is pretty much healing therapy for Joyce (and Becky too, of course), just like her talk with Dorothy was.
If Joyce had -not- cried at this moment, -that- would be a sign of her truly being broken.
*I refer to Cerberus’ posts up above where she discusses this.
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Sarah may want to try some Heelys
IT’S YOUR FAULT, DINA, YOU BROUGHT THE TEARS
She does look happy about it.
Big Sis is back !
No one would feel bad about this but Sarah anyway
…or anyone else who is uncomfortable with physical affection and emotional situations.
Well, of course, she unlocked Sarah. What’s not to be happy about… except y’know her gf sobbing uncontrollably on the other side of both of them.
Sudden;y she pulls of the mask and was Mike all along. there was never a Dina for Dumbing of Age, only Mike.
No one wanted to ride this feels train
but not even heelies can save us now
Yay
Never change Sarah
something something diapers something something punchline
you know, there’s a moment in life that isn’t only diapers and punchlines. There’s also carrot puree on walls and ceilings.
OK, I will never change her.
Oh, Dina’s gonna be in for it, later!
This is all part of Dina’s plan to get to hug Sarah. She is the architect of all of Joyce’s sorrows.
Look at that Dina smile.
She waited to do thst for a long time.
I know something else she’s waited to do a long time 😉
Me: Becky! how many times do I have to tell you to ask before using my-
(I turn just in time seeing becky bolt out the door and scroll up to the strip)
M: BECKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I relate to Dina and her smile so much!
Maybe we’ll be
treatedto another attempt at the triangle smile.How DARE you make me express feelings!
Emotions! My one weakness!
Sarah just has to find someone to blame for this beautiful moment.
Think you miss the point. Sarah is just learning to reach out again.
All these feels are gonna kill her :).
I’m so happy she is in the midst of this, but she wouldn’t admit she is too anyone (yet).
I think masks might be one of the big subthemes of this series. We have so many characters who use a mask of one form or another to try and protect their core self. Whether it be Becky’s wacky Becky mask, Carla’s “I swear I’m an asshole and you should be scared of me” mask, Joyce’s mask of happy go-lucky christian girl, Walky’s mask of goofball dudebro, or Amazi-girl’s literal mask marking the split between her alters.
All doing it for essentially the same reason. To try and protect themselves against the blows they suffered in the past.
And Sarah is no exception. She’s been burned before trying to help the white girl roommate and she got a year of abuse and nearly lost her one shot at her dream. So she needs her mask of studied apathy and grumpiness to try and protect her from getting emotionally entangled again. But that mask wasn’t wholly healthy and she was lashing out at happy people around her because she couldn’t quite keep that intentional emotional difference.
And so now, she’s letting slip the mask. But that’s still a negative thing for her, it’s a sacrificing of a protection and revealing a vulnerability.
So damn skippy she blames Dina for that because it was partially Dina calling her out on her shit that really allowed her to be self-aware of what she was doing when she accidentally lashed out at Joyce. And her friendship with Dina that has allowed her to start making human connections that aren’t just about saving the roommate to save the world.
It’s a beautiful moment and she 100% blames Dina for it, even if she knows that she’s in a better place at the end of the day.
so many feelings. why so many feelings. ANGRY ABOUT ALL THE FEELINGS. WHO NEEDS ALL THESE FEELINGS
Um.
Not everyone wants a group hug? It’s super cute to look at sure, but this is a level of intimacy she barely can express with joyce. Having Dina and Becky come in is probably legitimately stressing her out a bit.
Indeed…personal space, people, personal space.
Her personal space is definitely being infringed upon, but I think it’s a gentle infringement, benevolent, and not going too far. I’d call it a growth experience.
She was on the verge of tears herself before the dino-duo added themselves to the mix.
As an Englishman, shaking hands is as far as it goes. If you’re lucky.
What Lailah said.
Like, yes, this moment is cute and funny, but it was a private moment and an incredibly difficult expression of love from Sarah, and now she’s having it rubbed in her face by Dina.
Yeah. I mean, Becky and Joyce really needed this, and Dina is happy to be there for her friends, but I don’t know that the group hug is really making this moment better for Sarah.
(I don’t know that it’s not, either; give it a week and see how she reacts. But I do hope that nobody takes this as reason to start hugging her in general. Sympathy via physical contact only works if the recipient wants it.)
Dina did not rub anyone’s face in anything. Sarah was hugging Joyce. Becky saw Joyce crying and joined in, finally feeling like she could let her feelings go, too. Dina came along for support.
This made Sarah uncomfortable, and she made a snarky remark to Dina to deal with it. Dina understood this and gave a mischievous smile back.
This is Dina we’re talking about. You really think she’s that big an asshole?
Oh my god that grin. That fantastic grin.
What the…
Sarah i will murder you if you look at Dina the wrong way you heathen
DAMMIT WILLIS SARAH WAS ABOUT TO CRY
…is Sarah actually capable of tears?
we were about one panel from finding out.
And now we’ll NEVER know!
We might still be. Becky and Joyce crying at the same time?
She’s safe for the moment, only because the hugging means she can’t see either of their faces, but they’ll have to stop hugging eventually…
I doubt it. I think Sarah is too embarrassed at being caught caring to let out the good cry she really needs. But with Willis, anything is possible.
no. she welded her tear ducts to ensure she didnt’ lose study time with that nonsense.
Or completely removed them, like David Cross’ character did in that Amadeus parody in season 3 of Mr. Show With Bob and David.
Of course all this cuteness and hugging and stuff has to be balanced out…
were they just in the room this whole time
Yes, but no one could see them until Dina let go of Becky’s hand.
So Dina has spent the evening refining her invisibility field, then. Good for her!
They entered in panel 3, I’d guess. (also wow, 3 distinct people in a row with the same avatar ?)
Now I’m just waiting for the racist comment that it’s four. Or would that comment get dumped?
I… don’t undertand ?
You commented on that three people in a row had Raidah for their avatar. The next one in line is Sarah. “They all look alike” is a cliche racist line in reference to those of african decent with dark skin.
Or am I explaining the joke when it’s not needed?
Oh.
Wow. I was very wrong about yesterday’s comic being the best one ever.
I am also sad that stretching the last two panels to wallpaper size doesn’t look as good as I had hoped.
Questing of age
They stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower, With Faz in front of them.
Joyce: Faz! Faz is the guy with the cards!
Faz: I’ve been watching your movements for a while now. My base of operations isn’t far from here.
Mary: This is certainly unexpected.
Joyce turns to Mary
Joyce: Did you know it was Faz?
Mary: No idea.
Faz: Can we get going yet?
Joyce: I guess.
They walk down the Eiffel Tower and reach the street.
They walk a bit until they reach a small house. Faz pulls out a key and unlocks the door.
They follow Faz down to his basement. Where a hot stone vat filled with a mysterious red soupy liquid sits in the middle of the stone floor. Charts liter the walls and several issues of Playboy are casually scattered around the floor.
Becky: Yep. This is pretty much what I would expect Faz’s base of operations to look like.
Joyce: So, you know the secret to resurrection?
Faz: Yes, but I wouldn’t advise it.
Joyce: So can you bring Danny back?
Faz: Do you have a sacrifice?
Mary: A what?
Faz: You see, the problem with trying to bring someone back from the dead is that in order to be allowed to bring a soul back, you must be willing to give a replacement. Know, if you were able to find something that was worth the price of a human soul…
Joyce: Otherwise you need a sacrifice.
Faz: Yep.
Dorothy: But, Carol is trying to bring back Blaine.
Faz: She’ll need a sacrifice.
Joyce: She’ll probably just use one of her followers.
Faz: It’s worth noting that the purer the soul. The more effective the resurrection will be.
Mary: That explains why she kidnapped you.
Joyce: So, she’d need to find someone else innocent.
Becky: She could find someone ever purer than you.
Walky: But who would that be…
Meanwhile…
Riley sits on the couch at home, watching cartoons. Suddenly a dark figure appears before her.
Riley tries to scream, but is silenced by a large hand. Her remote clattering to the floor.
how in the fuck did you make Carol worse than she is in canon
imagination.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaSd2d5rwPE
No, you put Riley the FUCK BACK ON THAT COUCH!
Seriously, though, I’m almost as invested in this as in the comic itself. Keep up the good work!
I haven’t been following it much at all, but the words “Faz” and “sacrifice” in conjunction snagged my attention tonight.
Hug Patrol!
d’aaaawww yeah, it’s hug o’clock, baby
I have my doubts that that is a legitimate time frame.
I think someone needs a hug.
Dina please… just stop being adorable for a moment and appreciate a hug dangit.
You say ‘Comfort Me!’ to anyone who approaches
Chalkin’ up the hurt–you live and you learn
But we both are old enough to know that we’d trade it all right now
For just one minute of Real Love…
<3
Hey! Giving one person a hug is not an open invitation to group hug.
Look some people just gotta get their fix when they can.
Sarah is clearly displeased that others are barging in on her Joyce-huggin’
“Get your own Joyce, you guys! I saw her first!” >:(
wouldn’t her mom or dad have seen her first? at least out of the people we have met in the comic as of this point.
I’d say for the characters in today’s comic, Becky’s got dibs.
but dina has dibs on becky so would that mean dina has dibs on joyce? or wait does becky have dibs on dina? in which case can you have dibs on two people?
I think it’s called polyamorous? Not really an expert on that sort of thing (sexulaity, that it).
probably closer to one than i am from a sexuality stand point. I have only had intercourse once and honestly if i never do again i dont see me missing it.
Polyamorous is multiple loves/relationships. Essentially ethical non-monogamy.
Wouldn’t necessarily be “dibs” on two people, but definitely a situation in which multiple dibs could be made and others could potentially have multiple dibs themselves.
@Cerberus: which kinda renders the concept of “dibs” moot. Seeing how calling dibs on people is not a concept I feel particularly comfortable with, I’m totally okay with it becoming useless.
‘Dibs’ in general is a bit childish. Asexuality isn’t, though it is something I just can’t seem to process. 20 years ago me might have been able to. but not now. But obviously, one should not be forced to partake of something they do not want.
I am not opposed to sex, especially if it made someone i cared about happy, but at the same time i don’t care enough to try to find it. I lost track of how many years it has been. somewhere between five and ten i think.
I mean sex isn’t painful or anything but it isn’t nearly as enjoyable as people said it would be. Although lots of people say i should try it more than once to develop an opinion
Orion Fury-
Oh, asexuality? That one’s easy.
You know how there are people you aren’t sexually attracted to? Like if you’re straight, people of your gender are just whatever or if you’re gay, people of another gender are just whatever, or if you’re some flavor of bi or pan, how there’s a bunch of people that don’t really make you go “oh wow, damn”.
Imagine that was everyone.
That is my life experience as an asexual. I don’t find sex gross. I have sex sometimes, but that spark, that chemistry, that sexual attraction, I just don’t experience that.
Alright then Cerberus, thank you. Musta been thinking of something else then. So many different things. Though being a cis-straight male that only wants to be with one person may make it hard to fully process somethings.
Not displeased as much as petrified.
I love Dina grinning at her as if to say she knew Sarah had it in her all along.
Shhh shhshhshh, just let it happen. Learn to enjoy the moment.
Look. You have to earn your right to a Sarah hug. You can’t just leverage your emotions and connections into a free one. Becky, Dina, I know you’re hurting and Joyce is your friend…….but you aint at that level yet.
Dang hug thieves!
Honestly, I’d be a bit peeved myself, but only if the joined parties were strangers.
dammit Willis
Yesterday I was thinking your followup was somehow gonna be the two of them just keeping the hug going
and now my eyes are leaking
IT’S EXACTLY BECAUSE OF SHIT LIKE THIS WHY SARAH IS NOT THE HUGGING TYPE!!!
EVERY.
TIME.
I feel creeped out when i am randomly hugged. I just don’t speak up because I feel like it would be social suicide to be how i am and deny random physical contact. I want to know it is going to happen so i can mentally prepare.
You could try just asking for if people could give you some warning first. They’d be a lot less likely to take offense to that.
I think telling them you’re a little agoraphobic would also avoid any hurt feelings. (Whether or not it’s technically accurate). At least in my experience, phobias seem to be something most people can understand the basics of, and they would probably understand that isn’t not that you would dislike hugging them so much as it would cause your brain to scream “OH GOD THIS IS HORRRIBLE” at you
but I have said before to most people who i spend any level of time with that the only fears i seem to have are as follows with said conditions (i might have more i haven’t discovered though)
1: heights but only when i dont feel something secure under me. such as i do bad on tall ladders but planes would be fine
2: small places but only when i dont feel like i could get away. like i can stay in a small room or be stuck on say a plan but i cant be stuck in a small place.
wouldn’t saying I have another phobia be contradicting my stated canon?
I suppose it would work better with new people in that case. Though I think people who know you well enough to notice the inconsistency would also be able to handle the truth; namely, that you were afraid to bring it up before because you didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I am not worried about their feelings per say. I am more worried about the eyes of society gazing upon me in a judging manner pulling at every bit of me until there is not a single part of me that can be seen anymore.
I have a friend who explains her reluctance around hugging as simply having a “large personal space bubble”. It seems to work well. I think the trick is that it doesn’t sound like a judgement on the potential hugger.
with a few exceptions a lot of personal space bubble specifics fluxuate a ton based on my mood even thought the unexpected hugs are never appealing so far.
Honestly, I just tell people I’m not much for hugging and that’s fine. In my case no ones ever been really weirded out by it. I don’t mind giving my friends a hug, but when people i dont know very well hug me I can find it uncomfortable aha.
I cannot imagine anyone thinking that way about “canon.” To be honest, you sound like you have some social anxiety, worrying about people judging you.
So I’ll give a really important thing I learned about. It’s called the “spotlight effect.” People don’t notice you nearly as much as you think they do. The other is that the people who would judge you in this manner generally are not great people to be around. There’s a reason why there’s the term “judgmental asshole.” They are the one committing the faux pas.
No real friend is gonna have a problem with you having a personal space issue. And, for strangers, they are supposed to respect your personal space.
I’d suggest letting your most trusted friends know about the hugging thing, and then discuss with them how to handle it. There are even non-verbal cues you can do. And then other actions you can do to make sure it doesn’t come off as you not liking them.
You don’t need to apologize for not hugging, or for wanting a warning first. It’s your body, after all! You get to decide what to do with your body!
When I’m not in a hugging mod, I offer a high-five instead, with a big smile. Exactly one person was annoying about this (pouted and whined that I wouldn’t give him a hug) which told me that he is a creep, and now he doesn’t get my attention. Every other person in the world has smiled and happily high-fived me. High fives are 100% great.
Most family expects me to go along with normal physical interactions, but I do have a Grandmother-in-law who always asks if it’s alright to give me a hug. I always say yes, cause then I’m ready for it.
If I’m at work and I get bumped into, I’m fine. But if someone touches me to get my attention, I get skeeved out. So you only get a hug if you want it.
Last panel, I really wish neither Joyce nor Becky took Sarah’s words for themselves ^^;
It’s healthy to have a good cry every once in a while. It feels even better to do so in the presence of someone you trust. I know when my depression/anxiety is really bad if I can’t bring myself to feel the emotions enough to cry at all.
I’ll have to take your word for it.
Why Dina’s smug smile?
Because she totally called it!!! You go, Dina. You totally nailed this hugging thing.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/comfort/
Smug? I’d say more sheepish, but not quite. “Sorry about this group hug, Sarah, but not really sorry. Now let’s proceed with this sympathy through medium group-style physical contact.”
I’d be okay with describing what you said as “smug.” Though I’d really go more with playful.
What I’m impressed by is that she read Sarah so well–better than some of the commenters.
And she learned to grin!
Yup, I love this series’s callbacks and setups!
Who else but Dina? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
becky
Sarah almost actually cried, but then Dina trollface.
Daaawww.
.
.
.
Something horrible is gonna happen next strip to balance this out isn’t it?
Enough bad stuff happened recently ,didn’t it ?
Yes it is.
They’ll stop hugging
Anyone else ever get “hug echoes” a day or maybe even a week later?
(Probably should be called hug flashbacks, but I call them echoes.)
only from unwanted/unexpected hugs. they linger.
they can last a lot longer than a week, if they mean enough. long distance relationship here.
I will take your word on it since i have yet to be in a relationship. local or long distance.
Not before we see a montage of Sarah brushing her teeth, going to class, and eating lunch while still trapped in the group hug (which grows as they encounter more people).
Then Billie sees them and joins in. 🙂
Then Walky. And Dorothy. And Ethan. …
The whole strip collapses in on itself in an outpouring of empathy and compassion. From the void is formed a new universe: Hugging of Age.
and yet toe dad will be nowhere to be seen
Oddly enough, Mike will be there. But that’s an odd way to hug someone, Mike.
hands go around the waist not around the throat.
So, since no one has yet :
“sympathy via physical contact”
Dina totally nailed it!
don’t call becky an it! or wait….. did they…
Not yet.
There will be much rejoicing.
I love how it takes Becky about three nanoseconds from farting around in her or Dina’s room to show up with support when Joyce starts crying…
…which come to think of it says something about how tightly Becky is wound up and how stressful this weekend has been for her.
She has tried SO HARD to support Joyce. She downplayed her own stress, she did what she could to soften Carol’s blows and even back in her home with her mother’s ghost she put on the Wacky Becky mask. But one look at Joyce crying and she is reduced to tears herself.
AND IT IS WELL OVER DUE that these two wonderful friends can finally cry about all the shit that’s going on. See, Becky. It is OK to drop the mask around Joyce now and then. It is not scary if she cries, it’s healing.
<3 <3
TIME FOR ALL THE THEURAPEUTIC CRY HUGGING
From the tears already on her face, I think Becky had only just stopped crying as they came to see Joyce. Which would make me really happy because that would mean she must have gone to Dina for support, which means she’s actually learning to rely on the little support networks he’s building. She may try to put off telling Joyce, because she’s probably afraid of adding more to her pile of worries, but opening up to Dina would be huge, too.
And of course, finding Joyce crying immediately opens the floodgates for Becky. Those two love each other so hard it can probably be detected from space. Like, I’m pretty sure unicorns are real now because of that last panel.
Yup. The love between Becky and Joyce is just so BEAUTIFUL and I’m so happy they finally can let go of some of the stress from the last weeks.
The ISS astronauts are having a dangerous FEEL overdose and have to jettison the excess into space (which incidentally is a solution fully approved by Sarah). There are some VERY confused zoologists in Copenhagen. The unicorns themselves are pretty chill.
I could see her telling dina how she wishes joyces dad was her dad or something akin to that. wondering why people who she just met treat her better than her real family and how only now is she making a new sort of family. i mean its mostly sisters and her daddy hank.
I think it’s both. I think Becky spent time being comforted by Dina after that big moment with Hank considering she was in a pretty raw state.
And I think seeing Joyce crying after she tried so hard to hold it all in and accept all blows to keep her from breaking, is just too much, especially when she’s got “I’m missing signs” and “suicide” on the brain.
And I think you’re right. Being able to break down and cry and not be hit for it or scolded or feel like a failure is critical. Becky needs to see that her Debby Downer state isn’t actually going to drive all her friends off and she can let down the mask on occasion.
And I love that Joyce is here because she was also holding a mask on tight all weekend, trying to martyr for Becky and not show her fear and anger and desire to just fully collapse. And Becky never asked for that. So letting that go and seeing again and again that Becky emotionally supports her because she wants to and wants Joyce to open up to her about things that are hurting her.
It’s gonna be ugly until the morning, but in the morning, all four of them will likely be in a better place than they were this weekend.
That third paragraph is beautiful. You were talking about masks, Sarah believes she needs her misanthrope mask. Now hopefully she is in the process of seeing she can drop it a little bit. I want to see more of a Dina Sarah friendship: it could be really good for both of them.
First of all, I agree with your opinions, Cerberus.
OK, so here is a thing about language that I just now realised that I think is a bit problematic. Feel free to think I’m full of BS, but here’s my opinion anyway.
The term “break down and cry.”. Now, in itself, it seems accurate enough. And in a way, it even is. What often breaks down is your mental defenses or masks, leading to a moment of pure you. So yeah, it’s an understandable expression in many ways. Heck, the way you are using it indicates clearly that you are using it exactly this way. So far, so good.
But the reason I personally find it problematic is because of the trope “Crying means you’re broken”. Which is one of the reasons (if not -the- reason) we are so damn afraid to cry around other people. It makes us being seen as weak. And that is when I think that the “break down” part becomes problematic, because I suspect that the way many people use it, it’s “breaking down” as in “becoming broken”, rather than “breaking down the masks of pretense.”
I don’t know. Does this even make any sense? And if it does, is it still completely BS? And even if it’s not, are there good alternatives, like “having a good cry”?
Hmm, I can see that. I might think about alternatives, though currently I use break down a lot for moments of intense emotionality and pain processing because it’s the terms I’ve used for myself during my recovery.
Well, looking back on it, I think it’s rather enough of a stretch that I probably won’t ask anyone to change it, at least not on my behalf.
I don’t know. You do you, Cerberus. You’re pretty great at that anyway.
I think I might actually use it more frequently to describe someone trying to stifle laughter than tears, as in “I broke down laughing”. I think of it as the mask or wall or pretense that’s breaking, not the person, so it’s never really held any negative connotation for me.
the unicorns are now lesbians
EVERYONE JUMP ON THE EMOTIONAL PAIN TRAIN
how much are the tickets.
A broken heart and a lifetime’s betrayal.
Choo Choo Motherf*ckers!
thenk u dina for my life
Looking at that smile, I think Dina was the villain all along. She feeds off of their misery.
*steeples finges* “Just like planned”
Don’t forget the evil laugh.
meh i got a henchman to do my evil laugh. im to busy being evil for that sort of thing.
And now I have an image stuck in my head of a “Despicable Me” Minion trying to do the evil laugh. Badly.
Make it stop. Make it stop.
number 35. you know what to do
All according to keikaku.
Turns out Dina was actually the don of Passione this whole time.
Also, do you take paid commissions by any chance?
Tomato*-guy! Where you been? And why no drawing? You got four girls hugging, and you don’t have anything? :p
*How I incorrectly misread your name the first time I saw it. A term of affection. If you don’t like it, i won’t use it again.
this summer in jurassic park: we hunt a thing that feeds on tears
her name is dina
no we don’t know how to pronounce it
well we don’t know how to pronounce anything else in here either
look we’re not actually going to hunt her we’re just going to stop the tears
no i’m not crying. you’re crying. stop
THE DINA COMETH.
Just one hug, you think. What could go wrong? Soon you are buried under a mount of writhing bodies. Wet hanky contest!
This Summer:
Sarah Clinton stars in Too Many Hugs.
The harrowing tale of a college student who is hugged by far too many people.
Rated PG-13.
For Violence, Language, or Same-Sex Relationships?
Same-Sex violent language.
So is Ross rated PG-13 then?
Considering how the American rating system “works”, he’s probably rated E.
He waved it around and fired it at least once, right? That’s gotta be at least PG/Teen/Y10V/Probably-More-Ratings-Out-There.
Yeah, but he’s also representing American Family Values, which kids need to learn more of.
Oh, and for those reading this without context of me and my attitude towards Ross: My last comment was chock full of sarcasm.
Well that’s why I didn’t go with Y10FV.
Sometimes you just gotta let it out.
I’m reminded of a page from another webcomic, especially the bottom row: http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=883
Yeah, Grace seems to instigate a lot of group hugs.
True, though I was going more for Diane’s grumpy reaction at the center, a la Sarah’s.
I gathered, but I’d been expecting a different Grace-instigated group hug when I moused over the URL, and was amused by the realization that there have been many.
The rest of the week is just the rest of the floor gradually adding themselves to the hug.
Sarah: “Oh come on, this room ain’t big enough for all of you!”
Rachel: “No, Mary, you’re not invited!” -glares-
No, no — “Sure, Mary, come on in. Come to the center of our group hug.” — and Mary was never seen again.
Well shit. I’m going to lose sleep wondering what happened.
I guess if it’s the whole floor they could just eat her, clean the skeleton, and hide it in the supplies for anat/phys or anthropology classes.
hugs were her one weakness! she melted away like the Wicked Witch of the West. dun dun dunn
Until Carla offers Mary a hug! And Mary runs away cursing.
-cackling-
And Bloomington drowns in the tears.
Pictured: Sarah avoiding Feels.
It’s not super effective.
Dina’s smile says, “And I’m not sorry!”
By the end of the week that group hug is going to stretch around the entire campus.
Because that’s what hippie college students do best.
“Fuckin’ Dina” is something that Becky is doing.
DINA NO TROLLFACE.
The real reason Dina’s smiling is that She and Becky are currently grabbing each others butts.
And Sarah’s scowling because someone is grabbing hers?
I don’t see Joyce’s hand!
Somebody better get their hand outta my pocket!
It’s pretty funny and altogether pleasant that more people are becoming comfortable with viewing Dina through a sexual lens these days.
She’s short and she talks differently, but I’m glad that we’re moving away from “kawaii moe Dina-chan must be pure.”
SO MUCH CRYING
I wonder if anyone has taken this yet.
I think you was the first – and I think it is a beautiful, beautiful gravatar
I was going to be sorely disappointed if nobody did.
omg I love the last panel.
What, is it Dina’s fault that Sarah’s not acting like a total bongo? I’d think that’s a good thing…
Yes! Now that she’s been caught having feelings and being nice to someone, people are going to expect it all the time now!
oh geeze if i had to fake emotions all the time I would be exhausted non stop.
Next they’ll be expecting her to make small talk!
only if it is on a topic she has more than zero interest in.
She’s experiencing feelings. Feelings of an almost… human nature. This will not do. CALL THE SCHOOLMASTER!
Dina called Sarah out on her cynical bullshit, that she didn’t “really” care about Joyce because caring about people is for suckers.
I fear I may have misread your comment earlier. You were talking from Sarah’s POV, weren’t you? That, in her cantankerousness, she took it as Dina rubbing her face in it.
Sorry about the misunderstanding.
No, I do think Dina’s being a little turd here, especially given Sarah’s extreme difficulty in expressing feelings. I just also think it’s something that makes her a better, more complex character, the way I feel that she’s developed since getting with Becky
Big. Sister. <3
(Don't mind me. Just gathering up the feels I spilled everywhere.)
(Oh my god my gravatar used to be Jocelyne, this is hilarious XD)
Sarah is looking disapprovingly at you calling her Big Sister.
But this IS such a beautiful Big Sis, Little Sis moment, however much Sarah glares about it.
wait has sarah ever looked at something approvingly in doa?
I think so.
Jacob’s butt.
And Jacob 2. “You are the only one that understands my needs, Jacob 2!”
She approved of Dorothy, because she studies too much to pester her
Speaking of gravatars, I need to test my permanent one…
Well, it worked except for transparency… we shall have to try again.
Did this do the trick?
Yay! Sorry for the interruption, carry on.
You have the best gravatar
Thanks! I figure I’m entitled since I’m the person who proposed that topic for the bonus strip.
And of course I posted this from a different computer, so…
It’s Dina’s fault there are soggies!
She wasn’t ready for a group hug.
That’s a lot of arms to keep track of. If I were drawing this strip, there’s no way I’d have properly assigned all the arms to the correct bodies.
I’d probably have an extra one in there, too, you know, in case I forgot one.
Also, I’m really bad at drawing arms. And hands. And everything else.
Just hide them behind shrubs.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1290#comic
I don’t see anything. Am I doing something wrong?
Fingers are the worse. Then I learned, abstraction.
I assume he draws the characters on different layers.
So now we know Dina plays the long game.
Mike has his competition cut out for him.
Sympathy through collaberative physical contact.
hehehe 🙂 I love how Sarah’s expressions change. Also Becky needed this too.
Let’s add more to the group hug.
Attack of the hug-o-raptor?
Poor Sarah, she’s so uncomfortable.
its dina’s fault that THIS WORLD IS SO WONDERFUL AND PERFECT
Wow…
What a swift reversal from exactly the wrong thing to say to exactly the right thing.
Joyce has had to be the strong one for so long. She had to be strong for Becky when she came out. She had to be strong for her when Ross showed up with a gun. She had to be strong for her through the weekend with Carol and the church. She had to let Becky know that she loved her absolutely, completely and unflinchingly and that she would never stop fighting for her.
She had to be strong in the face of Carol and the church for herself, too. She couldn’t let them see a moment of weakness. She couldn’t let them know how much she was hurting. She couldn’t let them know that they were getting to her. She couldn’t let them know that every barb, every snide comment, every subtle cold shoulder wounded her in 100 ways that they’d never see. Because the moment they sensed any weakness in her, the moment they saw the slightest crack in her armor, they would rip her apart.
She had to be strong for Hank. Even though he agrees with her, his instinct is to shelter and protect her. Hank knows that Joyce is going to face a lot of terrible things in life and that she’s facing a lot of them right now. I have no doubt that his heart is aching to protect her from everything he can. Joyce had to show him that she was going to be ok, that she was going to come out the other side and be a better, stronger person for it. She had to show him that IU was the best place for her right now.
Hell, she’s had to put on a brave face in the wake of Ryan attempting to rape her at the party. She had to pretend to be ok so that her well-meaning friends wouldn’t do something to cause her parents to take her out of IU. Hell, she has to be strong just to keep walking around campus in spite of her fear. I suspect she feels she has to be strong just so he doesn’t somehow “win” by making her to afraid to continue life as normal.
But right now, in Sarah’s arms, she’s allowed to be weak. She doesn’t have to prove anything to Sarah. She doesn’t have to defend herself from Sarah. She doesn’t have to protect Sarah from anything. In that moment that Sarah hugged her, she could finally drop her sword and shield and just be vulnerable. She could cry. She could begin to process all of the anger, sadness and grief from every shitty thing that’s happened to her in the last month; everything from Ryan to Carol. All because Sarah, in spite of herself, let Joyce know that she loves her, absolutely and unflinchingly no matter what.
Yeah, she’s finally out of the woods. And that’s a moment when a lot of awful is happening at once that is hard to pinpoint and it can be genuinely hard to fully let everything go and collapse and finally process all the awful that’s happened so far.
I’m not sure I’d say she’s out of the woods. Tomorrow she goes back to putting on her bravest face to take on the world. But tonight she can rest. She can start to recover. She can move from trying to put things behind her and actually start to deal with it. She may not be out of the woods, but she’s definitely through the worst of it. Tomorrow will be easier for her knowing that she has people who love her and will support her through it all.
Mention of Ryan reminded me of the earlier sisters moment. Inside the mask that Cerberus is talking about, Sarah is damn good people.
This this this ALL OF THIS.
Joyce isn’t broken, but she’s hurt, and she’s finally been given a place where it’s safe to just let it out.
from foot in mouth
to arms embracing
to desired fist in face?
Making me show feelings and kindness and expressing my innermost fears. I will have my revenge.
More to the point, *cracks knuckles
This weekend, hell this last week plus, has really worn down on Joyce and Becky. Joyce breaking down further across every panel, Becky finding her best friend crying after she’s just recovered from a bout of it, sending her into another one. Dina expressing herself in a “more normal” way. Even Sarah letting her facade slips some there, letting Joyce see past the mask, kept hidden so long that Sarah may of been in danger of becoming it.
Panel five does give us a bit of lightheartedness, a bit of the good ol` Sarah, to give us a small laugh or smile. It feels like the ‘End of Book’ is coming soon, and part of me worries if something bad will come before it. It feels like all the characters have been through enough in this book as it is. Hopefully it’ll just wind down.
And yes, I do know what comic I’m reading.
they need to sit down and watch kiki’s delivery service or something and just. chill
Awww we almost had it! An elusive Sarah Tear, the rarest, saltiest drop of moisture the comic can produce!
That is, until the comic introduce dudebro gamers.
In honesty, Sarah, I think that there is a sliding scale of ‘fault’ here. Additionally, I think that you really need to think of positives and benefits from the current situation rather than its social awkwardness.
Dina could probably help by looking less smug, I suppose… 😉
more fanart: what the hell is an anatomy, Feels™ edition
recommended listening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqePMiTAoNE
I’m really happy someone let Becky cry.
She’s been putting up a brave front for so long now I was hoping that she hadn’t forgotten how to let her emotions out and cry. It is unbelievable how much relief there can be in breaking down and crying so long as you are among supportive friends.
I love Sarah so much.
Comic Reactions:
Dina is the best. (roll credits) Wait, we’ve already done this bit…
Panels 1-2: I love Sarah here. She’s a good person and is trying to form a genuine apology, some words of full comfort, not realizing that she’s already shown that and so much more.
Joyce knows how big the barriers Sarah’s put up to protect herself and that this sort of comfort is not something that comes easy to her and she knows the trauma of Dana and how heavy that’s weighed on her.
So Joyce knows what Sarah means when she talks about making things less suck. When she offers a hug, not just accepts one. When she lets Joyce just cry and cry and collapse without comment. She knows what it means.
But still Sarah wants to add something. Because much like Carla, no matter how much she wishes she wasn’t, she’s a woman with great empathy and care for others and that’s always going to come out when it’s needed most.
Panel 3: Oh, Becky that face, seeing Joyce in tears, breaking down. That must be terrifying for her. Cause Joyce was someone she knew was teetering and who she has been trying to support at her own expense in similar martyrdom fashion to Joyce. Maybe even someone she worried was becoming… like her mom, hence the strong need to come with.
So seeing her broken, not realizing that this is just catharsis. It’s too much for her mask and you see that in Panel 4.
I think that you might have read Becky wrong. Her fear is because she always assumed that Joyce is the strong one; the one with a plan; the courageous one who leads the cavalry charge for good and right. To see her strength run out must be a terrifying thing indeed.
That makes sense. If Joyce is the strong one and you’re the wacky friend and even she’s broken down…
Of course, Joyce also thinks Becky is the “strong” one. The one that makes sacrifices for Joyce left and right all the fricking time. The one that keeps her faith just fine even after being kidnapped by Toedad… Yeah, we know the drill, right?
So you have this weird stand-off where they both see the other as the “strong” one, and then they both think they themselves need to be “stronger” to ease the burden of the other, but whenever they do that, the other will just automatically assume that they are even “weaker”, and double down on trying to grow “stronger”…
Which leads to so many weird situations between these two people, because as beautiful as they and their friendship are, the one thing they need to realise is that if there is anyone they can absolutely allow themselves to be “weak” with, it’s each other and not try to be the “strong” one all the time!
Try to imagine what that last panel would be like as a single panel with no context or speech bubble…evil Dina
Panels 3-4: And masks.
I posted a longer comment upthread on the themes of masks that seem to pervade the strip, with many characters having a mask to protect themselves from the past consequences of emotional intimacy. And here we see three masks shatter on the floor. Joyce stated the shattering of her mask yesterday in response to Sarah’s accusation.
And Becky, well, that Panel 4 is her wacky Becky mask done and gone at least for tonight. She’s letting herself collapse a little bit though she’s trying to hold back the full collapse by biting her own lip.
But still, this is a collapse she kind of needs to let herself experience. If only to see that those most important to her aren’t going to abandon her or turn on her if she lets the mask slip. That she’s safe from her dad and from the worst of things and can now rebuild her life and let herself be her, fully, including the sadness and pain.
And Sarah, she picks it back up at Panel 4 when she’s encircled by the group hug, but that Panel 3 is her own mask falling off. She’s letting herself be emotionally vulnerable again. She’s letting herself be a caretaker for a roommate again. And she’s letting herself be fully entangled both literal and metaphorically.
And the best part is that they all needed this. Cause each of their masks was starting to hurt them, whether it be because Joyce isn’t sure she wants to be the same person she was when she came here and sees the rot that can exist in silence, because Becky has believed that it’s on her to support but never be supported (emotionally speaking that is), and because Sarah was starting to lash out at people with her fears and traumas.
Panel 5: Of course it is. As Bagge noted above, Dina called this. And Dina called Sarah out on her stewing in her cynicism, leading directly to being more aware of what she was doing and becoming more in a place where she could emotionally reach out.
And that shit-eating grin. She knows. And she’s proud.
Cause Dina is the best. (roll credits)
I hope Willis is hiring you to write things in the print edition of the comic. These analyses of yours add so much to at least my reading of the strip.
Oooh. The Cerberus annotated edition of Dumbing of Age.
Make it a stretch goal in the next Kickstarter!
look, i– i– i– i am not printing a 1200-page book
Perhaps a Best-Of section will work.
The caveat is that you have to include them all anyway.
“Now with 20% longer paragraphs.”
Fine, just go with the Bagge annotated edition instead and slap the world “Rad” one every single Becky-strip.
dina’s like
I REGRET NOTHING!
Je ne regrette rien!
ITS YOUR FAULT YOU GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE INVOLVED IN FEELS AND EXPRESS THEM
My feels went straight from d’awww to laughing, in only a few panels.
Damn it, girls, Sarah’s not into group stuff! 😛
Sympathy via mass physical contact.
Not the hugging, I’m against the hugging!
Sorry Sarah, but you are Lou Grant and this is the series finale of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
That takes me back …
I rescind yesterday’s comment. THIS is the most adorable thing I have seen this week.
On one hand I feel bad for Sarah right now (as a fellow uber-introvert I am barely a hugger – by which I mean I have a certain allotment of hugs in me for a week and once they’re gone, I am running on empty – and not at all a group hugger). She looks so very uncomfortable with the group hug.
On the other hand, Joyce and Becky both are in desperate need of some decompression. Sarah knows that so she’ll tough out the group hug for now… but I fully expect her to set up a “no more group hugs” boundary after this.
On the third hand, this is very good for Joyce and Becky both and I really hope this gets them on the path of healing after all they’ve been through.
Group Hug!
atrociraptors can smell tears from a mile away.
Sarah and Dina are STILL my two favorites.
I’m so glad more people are realizing the grace and glory of Sarah, the actual best character.
Dina is okay too I guess.
Smug Dina is the best.
I love Sarah.
Okay I know I was expressing sympathy when you really needed it but can we plz stop nao before it gets
*!!!Sympathy via hugs!!!*
OH GOD IT’S GOTTEN WORSE
Oddly enough, in a strip that is so emotional, Dina’s grin at the end made me smile…which was nice since I’ve been so sad and down lately myself that a good grin made me feel so much better.
The point where Sarah discovers she was absolutely right about the world breaking Joyce.
As is typical for Sarah, she gets little consolation out of being right.
She ain’t.
Joyce is not broken. Joyce is walking forward and dealing with her bullshit instead of caving and realizing the truth that everything is horrible bullshit.
No. No no no no. I refuse to let this example of “crying equals broken” trope stand there properly unrefuted.
Crying is in fact an emotionally healthy mechanism to deal with sadness. In fact, one can go so far as to say that we may very well be literally crying away the sadness! One study show that emotional tears helps getting rid of those particular hormones through the tear canals. Sure, more studies are called for, but I feel confident that the results will be replicated.
And then, after this good, honest cry, Joyce will feel genuinely better. She can finally have a fully mask-less smile* at the end of it. This moment is pretty much healing therapy for Joyce (and Becky too, of course), just like her talk with Dorothy was.
If Joyce had -not- cried at this moment, -that- would be a sign of her truly being broken.
*I refer to Cerberus’ posts up above where she discusses this.
She gets no consolation at all from being right, because she isn’t.
Saying Joyce is broken because she’s crying right now would be like saying your car is broken because it stops running when you run out of gas.
And right now, she is in fact filling up her gas (i.e. emotional reserves) so she can keep on running.
The “Reverse Willis” is turning out to be pleasant and a little teary. Manly tears, of course.
Mine are 10W-30. Yours?
I have no desire to see a lesbian 4some occur at this point, that means that I must actually love these characters, yay.
Sarah was almost crying, then a frame later she is about to yell at someone. Welcome back Sarah.
Those tears are fantastic.
That last panel should be used to promote DoA forever always.
“Dumbing of Age? I might’ve heard about it. What’s it about?”
“Weeeell…” *pulls out print of said panel*
Ok, it’s late enough now.
Dina in the last panel : “guess where my other hand is ?”
+1
It’s actually nowhere naughty. She is testing different bodyparts randomly until she finds something that clicks.
There shall be tickling.
Awkward roomate hug!
You will be assimilated – resistance is futile!
I, too, blame Dina.
…Can we get that Dina smile as a gravatar?