Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 19, 2026

Far away

by David M Willis on December 14, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - If the Shoe Splits
└ Tags: agatha, jennifer, mary, ruth

Discussion (88) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Wixvhen
    Wixvhen
    December 14, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    I see Ruth and Billie are becoming fast friends.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 14, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      with benefits.

      • AngryBamboo
        AngryBamboo
        December 14, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

        the benefit is Ruth doesnt kill Billie

        • GrrArg42
          GrrArg42
          December 14, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

          Ruth can’t kill Billie! Necrophilia is illegal. At least.. that’s what my neighbors told me…

          • Eposi
            Eposi
            December 14, 2012 at 2:24 am | #

            depends country, state, and what you are doing it with

            • Josh
              Josh
              December 14, 2012 at 4:44 am | #

              But they can’t have the most epic of hate fucks if Billie is dead! :O

              • Wixvhen
                Wixvhen
                December 14, 2012 at 12:50 pm | #

                If you remember right, it’s RUTH we have to worry about. Remember Roomies?

                • GrrArg42
                  GrrArg42
                  December 15, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

                  … but …but…. I don’t want to remember! You can’t make me! It was.. it was just so sad… :`(

        • nothri
          nothri
          December 14, 2012 at 8:33 am | #

          “the benefit is Ruth doesnt kill Billie” And suddenly I picture a Tarantino flick with Ruth dressed in a yellow jumpsuit wielding a katana.

      • Vabolo
        Vabolo
        December 14, 2012 at 5:04 am | #

        On an unrelated note, EMILY PUNCH!

        • mrelegos
          mrelegos
          December 14, 2012 at 5:19 am | #

          It looked soft! I thought his head was soft!

          • Snick
            Snick
            December 14, 2012 at 11:32 pm | #

            I got that reference! I got that reference!

          • GrrArg42
            GrrArg42
            December 15, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

            Are not all heads soft?

            I think she is an undercover robot and took him out early to keep him from squealing. Thoughts?

            • Wixvhen
              Wixvhen
              December 15, 2012 at 8:52 pm | #

              … The scar’s supposed to be on the forehead! Get your cosplay right!

          • Bickendan
            Bickendan
            December 16, 2012 at 9:26 am | #

            0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89,144…

            • LuckyStar7
              LuckyStar7
              December 16, 2012 at 11:16 am | #

              233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181…

    • Aisling
      Aisling
      June 6, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

      Ruth has been wanting to get her in bed from the moment she met Billie lol.

  2. Spectre
    Spectre
    December 14, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    I can understand an elevator line for going upstairs… but down? Really?

    • Resne
      Resne
      December 14, 2012 at 1:45 am | #

      I’ve never had a line to get out of the dorm, but that might be small school experience talking.

    • taekwondogirl
      taekwondogirl
      December 14, 2012 at 12:35 pm | #

      Yeah, I was never in a dorm with elevators, so this was never a problem I experienced. Stairs ftw!

      …until you have to move from the 3rd floor of one dormitory to the 3rd floor of another. Then stairs suck.

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 14, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

    Billie sure looks a lot thinner from side-on.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 14, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      All her fat shifted and relocated in her bum.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 14, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

        A good place as any for her fat to go.

        • Wonder Wig
          Wonder Wig
          December 14, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

          Yet her melons look smaller from the side.

          • GrrArg42
            GrrArg42
            December 14, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

            Mango or papaya? The age old question. Was it not Katara who sonce said.. “awww, I hate Papaya.” It’s ok Katara, I like mangos too.

            • Wonder Wig
              Wonder Wig
              December 14, 2012 at 12:45 am | #

              Mmmm I like neither mango or papaya, but artificial mango flavoring is awesome. Like in Snapple, or mexican candy.

          • Andiemus
            Andiemus
            December 14, 2012 at 1:23 am | #

            That’s cause their volume is in diameter, not depth.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      December 14, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      I remember Willis explaining that the fat comments come from Billie having child-bearing hips and being busty.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 14, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

      Billie from side-on is giving me a–

      No, no. Too obvious.

    • David
      David M Willis
      December 14, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

      I think that’s basic anatomy.

    • Tamsen Na
      Tamsen Na
      December 14, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

      Her anatomy looks correct to me. I know this because when I look at myself sideways in the mirror, I get excited because I actually look skinny, and then when I look at myself head-on, I’m sad because I’m fat again. 😀

  4. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    December 14, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

    Quick Billie, to the dudevator!

  5. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 14, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

    Sometimes, Jennifer, you make it TOO easy.

  6. Anon
    Anon
    December 14, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    Why not just take the stairs?

  7. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    December 14, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    Oh for cripes sake TAKE THE FUCKING STAIRS

    • John
      John
      December 14, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

      She can’t risk maybe working off some of her beer muscle.

      • GrrArg42
        GrrArg42
        December 14, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

        But stairs are fun! You can jump down at, like, two at a time, then three, then five, then eight… Lots of fun.

        Then again, if you jump at the right time in the elevator you can jump super high. It is hard with that many people in the elevator though, so the stairs still win.

        • John
          John
          December 14, 2012 at 3:28 am | #

          The Fibonacci sequence gets real ugly if you take it much farther than tat.

          • GrrArg42
            GrrArg42
            December 15, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

            Yay! Another math person… or another person who reads “Questionable Content”. Both are signs of good-ness.

            • John
              John
              December 15, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

              I do read QC, but don’t recognize the reference.

            • John
              John
              December 15, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

              Oh, right, Pintsize was Fibonaccing after he got punched in the head the other day, wasn’t he?

    • David
      David M Willis
      December 14, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

      This line didn’t make it into this series of comics, but Billie didn’t have time to shower, as she woke up late to class, and so she rationalizes that running down the stairs woulda given her major advancements in Stinkpits.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        December 14, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

        I used to help fund research for advancements in Stinkpits but my broker smelt something fishy.

      • Prior Semblance
        Prior Semblance
        December 14, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

        Wouldn’t walking down the stairs be less sweaty than running down the hallway and faster than waiting in the line unless shes like 6 floors up.

        • David
          David M Willis
          December 14, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

          “rationalizes”

        • Dibullba
          Dibullba
          December 14, 2012 at 4:21 am | #

          Billie is always drunk…. you expect her to be rational?

  8. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    December 14, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

    Do they live underground? Because when I was in college, no one ever used the elevator to go DOWN. It was too frigging slow.

    You used it to go up, because a backpack with 8 textbooks in it is not something you want to lug up the stairs after a long day.

    (Okay, to be fair, I went to OSU and there were a couple of really tall residential towers that I imagine even walking down would have been a pain. But in the normal dorms it wasn’t a problem)

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 14, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

      I walk down AND up the stairs in my dorm all the time. It’s a holdover from when I was in a different dorm building on the second floor, and waiting for the elevator in either direction was too much of a hassle.

      Also, it’s decent exercise.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        December 14, 2012 at 10:36 am | #

        And that last bit is apparently why Billie is *not* taking the stairs, per word of Willis.

    • Prior Semblance
      Prior Semblance
      December 14, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

      People at my college will often use the elevator to go down one floor, even when the stairs are empty and the elevator is a few floors away. Although I didn’t live on campus so I dunno about the dorms.

      • Andiemus
        Andiemus
        December 14, 2012 at 1:27 am | #

        In San Francisco I use the stair because elevators are really poorly ventilated and all the BO builds up all day.

    • Pat
      Pat
      December 14, 2012 at 10:48 am | #

      I usually went down the stairs in dorms, and sometimes up. I rarely encountered other people while doing so.
      Some of my friends would take the elevator while I took the stairs, even, and I had to wait for them.

  9. Kamendae
    Kamendae
    December 14, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

    Let’s hear it for Lincoln/Morrill 🙂

  10. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 14, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

    Pft, I’ve always found the elevator to be too much of a hassle. I only live on the third floor, I can handle a few stairs.

    Though I do have to occasionally remind myself I don’t live on the second floor anymore.

    • John
      John
      December 14, 2012 at 3:26 am | #

      I ended up one time in three consecutive semesters living in 323 and then 223 and then 323 again. Same room in the same floor layout, just a story apart. There were several times when I only realized out I was on the wrong floor because my key wouldn’t work in the lock.

  11. The Aussie Bloke
    The Aussie Bloke
    December 14, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

    When will Billie learn to stop tempting fate?

    • GrrArg42
      GrrArg42
      December 14, 2012 at 12:40 am | #

      When it stops being so tempting.

  12. ProjectXa3
    ProjectXa3
    December 14, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

    I take it that Indiana has yet to discover the invention of the stairwell?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 14, 2012 at 1:11 am | #

      I stare well at Billie.

  13. GenericScreenName101
    GenericScreenName101
    December 14, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

    Billie later lost her favorite finger under mysterous circumstances that night.

    • Egg
      Egg
      December 14, 2012 at 2:00 am | #

      ……………………………………………………the urge to make highly inappropriate jokes suddenly overwhelmed me.

      I’ll just namedrop Bilquis and Snow Crash here, and leave.

  14. coobee
    coobee
    December 14, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

    All right… now kiss.

  15. Egg
    Egg
    December 14, 2012 at 1:49 am | #

    Pfah. We didn’t HAVE elevators -_-;

  16. beeftony
    beeftony
    December 14, 2012 at 2:21 am | #

    I am now counting the days until Billie and Ruth have epic hatesex

    (I may be counting a while)

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 14, 2012 at 10:41 am | #

      Oh, it’ll probably happen later this same day.

      …so, you’ll see it in, oh, May or so.

  17. waldosan
    waldosan
    December 14, 2012 at 4:38 am | #

    y’know they made this fantastic invention a while ago, called stairs, when i was still bothering to go to school we had to actually use them. uphill and downhill, bookbags weighing a ton, YON WIPPERSNAPPERS HAVE IT EASY!

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 14, 2012 at 10:45 am | #

      At least you’re not old enough that the stairs were uphill both ways!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        December 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm | #

        And waist deep in snow.

        • Shade
          Shade
          December 15, 2012 at 1:29 am | #

          To this day I’m not sure who’s idea that was.

  18. Ash
    Ash
    December 14, 2012 at 5:29 am | #

    I came for the laughs and stayed for the Les Yay.

  19. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    December 14, 2012 at 6:59 am | #

    This is why they invented stairs Billie. Hop to it! When I was in college I got tired of waiting for the elevator so I just used the stairs. I wasn’t in the best of shape but I became used to walking up and down eight flights.

  20. Bill Murphy
    Bill Murphy
    December 14, 2012 at 6:59 am | #

    Looks like this is going to be a long ride downstairs. 😛

  21. begbert2
    begbert2
    December 14, 2012 at 10:52 am | #

    Fling them aside, Billie! You can do it! You’re a cheerleader!

  22. Kivitasku
    Kivitasku
    December 14, 2012 at 11:56 am | #

    Now kiss.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 14, 2012 at 2:55 pm | #

      I think Amy Pohler beat you too it.

  23. Somebody
    Somebody
    December 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm | #

    Yep, they need to get a room.

  24. gnoka
    gnoka
    December 14, 2012 at 5:50 pm | #

    What is that on Mary’s book?

    • GrrArg42
      GrrArg42
      December 15, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

      Satanic Rituals 101

  25. scabbert
    scabbert
    December 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm | #

    Take the stair, fatass.

  26. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    December 15, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

    Sigh…

    Now kiss….

    • Potatamoto
      Potatamoto
      December 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm | #

      Yeah, Ruth just *loves* to watch Billie struggle.

  27. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    December 15, 2012 at 7:43 pm | #

    Who, in such a rush, does not go for the stairs anyway, what with eleveators bein so slow? Someone laaaaaazy, that’s who.

  28. Reboot
    Reboot
    December 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm | #

    At this point a man called Gardrilla Manceframe rediscovered and patented a device he had seen in a history book called a staircase. It has been calculated that his most recent tax bill paid for the social security of five thousand redundant Sirius Cybernetics Workers, the hospitalisation of a hundred Sirius Cybernetics Executives, and the psychiatric treatment of over seventeen-and-a-half-thousand neurotic lifts.

    • Michelle J Caboose
      Michelle J Caboose
      December 17, 2012 at 1:08 am | #

      Does this “staircase” thingummy have one of those Genuine People Personalities I’ve heard so much about? If not, I think I may want one…

  29. Animal
    Animal
    December 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm | #

    I like the new Ruth.

  30. averystrangeplace
    averystrangeplace
    December 18, 2012 at 11:16 pm | #

    Insert [sad trombone sound] here.

  31. discountmusketeer
    discountmusketeer
    February 7, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    People who take the elevator in dorms disgust me.

    If it’s less than 5 flights you have no excuse, take the damn stairs.

  32. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 14, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

    Gee, don’t you people use stairs ? it’s downward for pete’s sake.

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