Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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July 11, 2026

Roadblock

by David M Willis on September 24, 2024 at 12:01 am
  • 01 – Love Dares You To Change
└ Tags: asher, ethan, roadblock

Discussion (118) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 24, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    “The wisdom I spout you don’t want to hear / But what’d you expect when you put me here”

    “OH COME ON”

    • Rolf of Many Doors
      Rolf of Many Doors
      September 24, 2024 at 2:33 am | #

      “My lyrical choices are not the thing one should be focused on – the fact you hear voices from self-placed posters means you’re the one who the joke is on.”

      • Miri
        Miri
        September 24, 2024 at 5:10 am | #

        “‘I got it for free’?
        That sums up the worth of your life and it’s philosophy”

        (Replying that to a person seems mean but I am pretty sure from context it should be clear that this is a posited “Roadblock to Ethan” rhyme… I do not think Ethan, nor any of the readers or commenters of this thread, have worthless, valueless lives!)

    • The Other Mike
      The Other Mike
      September 24, 2024 at 10:09 am | #

      I wish Willis used Disqus for the comments here, because I have a powerful need to give this an upvote.

  2. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    September 24, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    The poster is free, the curse you have to pay for.

  3. Nono
    Nono
    September 24, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    It might be the character everyone’s been dying to see for yours, Naomi! Yay!!!!!

    I mean it could be Carol here to harangue Ethan to make an honest woman of her daughter too, which everyone would also love!

    • MM
      MM
      September 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

      I’m going to guess Amber’s mom.

      • pope suburban
        pope suburban
        September 24, 2024 at 12:14 am | #

        Yeah, Stacy is really the only character I can think of that fits the description.

      • Nono
        Nono
        September 24, 2024 at 12:36 am | #

        I thought of that too but while she’s older, I’ve always thought of her still as one of the younger looking parents so not one to immediately get the ‘older woman’ tags.

        • Bash
          Bash
          September 24, 2024 at 2:04 am | #

          These characters are 18. 30 is old to them.

          • AGV/Ruby
            AGV/Ruby
            September 24, 2024 at 3:00 am | #

            It’s worth noting that he said “older” rather than “old”. She’s just older relative to them.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          September 24, 2024 at 4:33 am | #

          Joe’s dad said she’s “like fifteen years younger than” he is.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/disengage/

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        September 24, 2024 at 4:36 am | #

        If it is, does that mean Amazi-Girl and Stacy will have to directly interact? Will Amber take the wheel again? Will AG have to present “as” Amber? Or will she actively try to avoid her if this is her and Ethan tips them off?

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      September 24, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

      I’ve actually been hoping Naomi would show up at some point, just so that she’d fall out of her top spot on the F-bombs-by-appearance chart.

      Either that or earn it proper-like by ranting constantly about fucking.

  4. gears
    gears
    September 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    Oh. Ethan needs THAT kind of help.

    • Bruno
      Bruno
      September 24, 2024 at 3:51 am | #

      A rapper to protect him from Roadblock’s disses? Yeah, looks like, but fortunately it doesn’t look like they need to be that skilled. Carla could probably do it.

      • Random832
        Random832
        September 24, 2024 at 4:57 am | #

        You wouldn’t be implying Carla has ever been not that skilled at anything in her life, would you?

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          September 24, 2024 at 8:23 am | #

          Perfect avatar is perfect.

  5. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    September 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    someone’s come and ya check em out
    Roadblock got some shit to spout

  6. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    September 24, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    god, I hate Naomi. Also, Ethan, your friendship with Amber makes this much more sense now.

  7. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    September 24, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

    Ethan how long as this been going on.

    • RamenChef
      RamenChef
      September 24, 2024 at 10:31 am | #

      Since 2005.

  8. AY
    AY
    September 24, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

    Asher approaching the door so defensively… Buddy, Ethan isn’t the only person in this room with some trauma to sort through

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      September 24, 2024 at 7:53 am | #

      With an upbringing in _his_ family? Oh, yeah, he’s got some baggage.

    • Marillius
      Marillius
      September 24, 2024 at 9:29 am | #

      Actually that’s a terrible way to approach a door defensively. Won’t protect him from much. Too much of his body is exposed in the normal places for gun fire or other things.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        September 24, 2024 at 3:17 pm | #

        Well, if you’re going to look out the peephole, you’ve got to expose something.

        • Marillius
          Marillius
          September 24, 2024 at 5:26 pm | #

          Which is why you don’t in this technology laden age. A selfie stick and a smart phone recording work better than any mirror slipped under a door ever could, and can be done at an angle.

  9. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    September 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    It’s Linda going door to door to remind people she’s not the worst parent in the series.

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      September 24, 2024 at 4:41 am | #

      Linda Brown: Clearing that “Not actually prejudiced against her own kids” bar by dint of not knowing she’s got any reason to be!

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        September 24, 2024 at 4:43 am | #

        Wait, I’ve mixed up Linda and Carol again, haven’t I? Linda’s one of the ones who is prejudiced against her own kids.

        • clif
          clif
          September 24, 2024 at 7:20 am | #

          You could go back to the 1940s/1950s and call them Old Lady Brown and Old Lady Walkerton. Much easier to keep them straight, but if you ever slip up and let them or their close relatives hear you call them that, you are dead meat.

        • staszu13
          staszu13
          September 24, 2024 at 9:48 am | #

          Yes and her good friend Carol Walkerton 😂

        • Cattleprod
          Cattleprod
          September 25, 2024 at 12:00 am | #

          Yeah. Linda Walkerton holds herself above Carol Brown for the whole ‘accessory to murder’ thing.

  10. Jo_cubstar
    Jo_cubstar
    September 24, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    Does Ethan suffer from psychosis?

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      September 24, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

      That or the void between the Shortpacked universe and Dumbing universe is deteriorating at a much faster rate then previously theorized.

      • John Campbell
        John Campbell
        September 24, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

        SOGGIES MAY RULE

        • staszu13
          staszu13
          September 24, 2024 at 9:50 am | #

          Ah but Soggies are I assume still long forgotten fictional characters who once menaced Cap’n Crunch in the Dumbiverse.

          Aren’t they? (Dramatic sting)

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          September 24, 2024 at 7:36 pm | #

          I don’t know why, I thought that word caused a comment to get auto-moderated. Probably to keep them at bay.

  11. UrsulaDavina
    UrsulaDavina
    September 24, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

    Ethan seems… fine?

  12. EtchJetty
    EtchJetty
    September 24, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

    ethan 🤝 amber
    hearing voices of superpowered individuals in their heads

    (though im unsure if roadblock has powers??? i’m. not a gi joe person lol)

    • EtchJetty
      EtchJetty
      September 24, 2024 at 12:12 am | #

      though then again neither does amazi-girl so. JOKE STILL WORKS

  13. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    September 24, 2024 at 12:12 am | #

    We haven’t actually seen her since Freshman Family Weekend, have we? Suppose she was bound to make a return appearance eventually. Ugh.

  14. Yumi
    Yumi
    September 24, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    Feel like it’s very possible Ethan has been ignoring her messages, so she decided to come see him for herself.

    Which might be a good move if the parent in question didn’t suck.

  15. MordWa
    MordWa
    September 24, 2024 at 12:14 am | #

    Older woman…

    Mike’s Mom? (for a nickel)

    • Cimorene
      Cimorene
      September 24, 2024 at 1:11 am | #

      That would be the most surprising and satisfying plot wise tbf.

      • Holly
        Holly
        September 24, 2024 at 2:39 am | #

        100% now I hope it’s this

        • clif
          clif
          September 24, 2024 at 7:33 am | #

          Mike left this note saying that anything ever happened to him, he wanted you to have this life sized poster of him. You may not want it because it’s kind of strange and it looks like he’s destroying some kind of weird mechanical doll, but in the note he said to point out that it was free.

          • staszu13
            staszu13
            September 24, 2024 at 9:54 am | #

            Harriet Warner AKA Mike’s mom: Ethan, I was to give this to you in the event of anything happening to Mike. (Hands Ethan note). Exit Harriet

            Note reads: Ethan, I am in witness protection now. Please do not worry about me or I’ll have to fuck your mom for a nickel. Mike Warner

    • Cimorene
      Cimorene
      September 24, 2024 at 1:58 am | #

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/cruise/ short older lady

      • AGV/Ruby
        AGV/Ruby
        September 24, 2024 at 2:56 am | #

        And now I’m sad

    • Wendy
      Wendy
      September 24, 2024 at 3:02 am | #

      Yeah that’s my guess too.

  16. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    September 24, 2024 at 12:14 am | #

    is it too late to request that my doodle in the book be roadblock

  17. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    September 24, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

    She’s a classmate from fall semester, checking up on him because she found out he’s enrolled in a class with her this semester but hasn’t shown up.

  18. Shade
    Shade
    September 24, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

    When you’re more insulted by the lack of effort from the manifestation of your self loathing than the comment itself.

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      September 24, 2024 at 7:57 am | #

      “Is that the best you can do?”

      “Oh go take a hike; we can’t all be Mike.”

  19. Regalli
    Regalli
    September 24, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

    Oh, I LOVE that Roadblock’s making his return from Shortpacked. I missed the Periodic Random Nerd Hijinks. And I love that Ethan’s just completely normalized this, even in his depressed state.

    Oh and we’ve got company I guess.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      September 24, 2024 at 12:25 am | #

      them brothas still got lots to learn
      Shortpacked hijinks make their grand return!

  20. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 24, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

    Oh god I hope it’s not Naomi. My blood pressure can only take so much.

    • clif
      clif
      September 24, 2024 at 7:39 am | #

      It’s Robin.

      She’s learned to hold a photo up to the peephole so that people will open the door.

  21. JA
    JA
    September 24, 2024 at 12:25 am | #

    Ok Ethan, how would YOU rhyme with ‘appointment’? Sometimes you gotta take what first comes to mind.

    • Nono
      Nono
      September 24, 2024 at 12:39 am | #

      Anointment?

    • Icalasari
      Icalasari
      September 24, 2024 at 12:40 am | #

      She’d make an appointment to drown you in ointment?

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      September 24, 2024 at 1:36 am | #

      Badoinkment.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 24, 2024 at 11:15 pm | #

      Denouement /jk

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      September 24, 2024 at 11:18 pm | #

      boyfriend

  22. John Campbell
    John Campbell
    September 24, 2024 at 12:25 am | #

    ASHER: “Oh, wait, it’s just that cougar I was banging before I met you.”

    JENNIFER: :incandescent rage:

    • Justnobodyfqwl
      Justnobodyfqwl
      September 24, 2024 at 2:30 pm | #

      Which DOA characters are the most likely to end up in cougar relationships, ythink? I feel like Stacy is the obvious answer, right

      • NickG
        NickG
        September 24, 2024 at 3:59 pm | #

        Has she met Jacob in this universe?

  23. 3oranges
    3oranges
    September 24, 2024 at 12:35 am | #

    Roadblock is a little rusty
    At coming up with the mot justy

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      September 24, 2024 at 1:36 am | #

      Them brotha aint lost his edge,

      • NGPZ
        NGPZ
        September 24, 2024 at 1:39 am | #

        no matter how much ya try an’ allege!

  24. Pylgrim
    Pylgrim
    September 24, 2024 at 12:37 am | #

    Bit bold to presume Roadblock would waste his good material on garbage, eh Ethan?

  25. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    September 24, 2024 at 12:41 am | #

    Ethan needs to make a pact with the crow to go after Mike’s murderers.

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      September 24, 2024 at 8:08 am | #

      Mike is the one who died. Doesn’t that mean he’s the one who should pact with the Crow to come back for revenge?

      (though it might be tricky, what with ross macintyre being already dead and all)

      • C.T. Phipps
        C.T. Phipps
        September 24, 2024 at 7:26 pm | #

        I still maintain that the Mike hallucination that Amber has is just Mike.

  26. Taffy
    Taffy
    September 24, 2024 at 12:53 am | #

    It’s Jumboots Jamstrang, don’t open the door!

  27. Chiatroll
    Chiatroll
    September 24, 2024 at 12:58 am | #

    I hope Asher can hear Roadblock also.

    • clif
      clif
      September 24, 2024 at 7:54 am | #

      Yes, but he hears it as a squeaky version of Ethan’s voice.

  28. Armadillo
    Armadillo
    September 24, 2024 at 12:58 am | #

    Poets have done far more with far less Ethan.

    • Decidedly Orthogonal
      Decidedly Orthogonal
      September 24, 2024 at 1:19 am | #

      Line of coke
      Pack of smoke
      Little mention
      Still no pension

      • clif
        clif
        September 24, 2024 at 7:56 am | #

        Berma Shave

  29. Auroki
    Auroki
    September 24, 2024 at 1:00 am | #

    Man I feel old seeing Roadblock return again.

  30. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    September 24, 2024 at 1:08 am | #

    Your mom is here

    Her bile is risin’

    You better start apologizin’

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      September 24, 2024 at 2:26 am | #

      At least he doesn’t have a picture of Mike that speaks in haiku.

      Your mom came knocking.
      Can I borrow a nickle?
      Pay you back real soon.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        September 24, 2024 at 8:09 am | #

        *applauds

  31. BBCC
    BBCC
    September 24, 2024 at 1:13 am | #

    Ahhhhh Roadblock, my beloved.

  32. Lightweight Baybee
    Lightweight Baybee
    September 24, 2024 at 1:42 am | #

    yey 🙂

  33. LeafletErin
    LeafletErin
    September 24, 2024 at 1:54 am | #

    Short older woman… either Amber’s mom or maybe Carol? I don’t think that Carol is likely but he’s on her radar somewhere.

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      September 24, 2024 at 11:41 pm | #

      Yeah, Stacy was my first thought considering who would be likely to come to Ethan’s door for any reason.

  34. Dday
    Dday
    September 24, 2024 at 2:46 am | #

    I like how Asher’s paranoiac response to a knock at the door subtly implies he comes from less than safe circumstances.

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      September 24, 2024 at 8:10 am | #

      With his family? Oh, yeah, def less than safe.

  35. Bruno
    Bruno
    September 24, 2024 at 3:52 am | #

    Get it together Roadblock.

  36. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    September 24, 2024 at 3:54 am | #

    Ethan’s mom? Wasn’t all his suffering enough?

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      September 24, 2024 at 7:45 am | #

      There can always be more

    • Jess
      Jess
      September 24, 2024 at 1:35 pm | #

      Considering the description is short older lady it could be Amber’s mom wanting to check on Amber but not wanting to be overwhelming, too. Kinda doubt that Amber’s mom would know that Amber and Ethan aren’t nearly as close as they were in the beginning of the year.

  37. IntangibleMatter
    IntangibleMatter
    September 24, 2024 at 3:59 am | #

    I wish I had Ethan’s flavour of mental illness. Instead I just have this dumb tendency towards feeling like shit. Gimme a character who tells me to do it in verse!

    • Bruno
      Bruno
      September 24, 2024 at 4:01 am | #

      Skill issue on your part.

      • Colin McKenzie
        Colin McKenzie
        September 24, 2024 at 9:20 am | #

        Dissociation. Not as severe as Amber/Amazigirl, but up there.

    • Bogeywoman
      Bogeywoman
      September 24, 2024 at 4:22 am | #

      Closest I’ve got is that any “unhelpful” thoughts playing in my head as songs or rhymes because my therapist tried to teach me cognitive diffusion techniques and my ADHD ass hobgoblin brain took it and ran.

      So now whenever the slightest thing happens my brain starts singing very loudly “wanna die wanna die I really wanna die” to the tune of William Tell’s Overture which is simultaneously hilarious and annoying as hell.

      • Laura
        Laura
        September 24, 2024 at 5:48 am | #

        Oh, no, now it’s an earworm!

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        September 24, 2024 at 10:19 am | #

        Jesus Christ, that’s gonna have me chuckling all day.

  38. tbf
    tbf
    September 24, 2024 at 4:23 am | #

    Shortpacked! continues to leak. With an eight month buffer, maybe it’s time for Hundred Dollar Theatre 2: It’s Machete?

    • clif
      clif
      September 24, 2024 at 9:12 am | #

      Dr. Machete’s course on temporal mechanics is an advanced course, You’ll have to wait until they are grad students.

  39. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    September 24, 2024 at 4:47 am | #

    ah, so THAT’s who roadblock was

  40. thumb
    thumb
    September 24, 2024 at 8:44 am | #

    Damn, not even Roadblock can make Ethan feel worse than he already does. And that’s *after* an improvement in his mental state.

  41. Jesse
    Jesse
    September 24, 2024 at 9:22 am | #

    “I think my rhymes are truly broke!
    Broke broke broke broke broke broke broke!”

  42. Bryy
    Bryy
    September 24, 2024 at 9:48 am | #

    No, no, Ethan, that one was solid.

    Let Roadblock cook.

  43. Kan
    Kan
    September 24, 2024 at 10:53 am | #

    Roadblock is basically just being an evil Wheelie lol

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      September 24, 2024 at 3:36 pm | #

      More like evil cartoon Blaster.

  44. Amelie Wikström
    Amelie Wikström
    September 24, 2024 at 1:22 pm | #

    Sorry, Ethan, rhymes in the English language have pretty much run dry. I read an article in a glossy magazine about it, back when Disney movie songs first stopped worrying about rhyming. Which was, I wanna say, Frozen?

    Roadblock’s gonna have to upgrade to limericks I think.

  45. Insanenoodlyguy
    Insanenoodlyguy
    September 24, 2024 at 2:05 pm | #

    Asher, get away from this hot mess.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      September 24, 2024 at 4:15 pm | #

      What, is there a minimum level of tidiness now, before a person can date?

  46. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    September 24, 2024 at 2:20 pm | #

    I look forward to learning why Robin’s mother is knocking on Ethan’s door.

  47. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    September 24, 2024 at 2:57 pm | #

    Now that Roadblock is here I got to ask the real question: Where is Sodomuffin?

  48. Dday
    Dday
    September 24, 2024 at 5:26 pm | #

    You can criticize my verse
    But your whole life is even worse.

  49. Cmd1095
    Cmd1095
    September 24, 2024 at 7:56 pm | #

    Oh hey Roadblock’s back, sweet

  50. elfroyalty
    elfroyalty
    September 24, 2024 at 8:42 pm | #

    when i first read this i was like, oh, i remember this joke from shortpacked! i get this reference! and then i thought about it a little longer and got sad about the implications about ethan’s mental state.

  51. Sere
    Sere
    September 24, 2024 at 10:58 pm | #

    Have we seen Jacob’s parents? Because if his mother is pintsize, I bet she is adorable.

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