mary's quick on the uptake and so will they

Baptize


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Tags: dorothy, joyce, mary

130 thoughts on “Baptize

  1. Nice try, guys. Absolutely love the faces in panel 4. They look so earnest.

    Somehow, wet hair makes Mary almost look attractive.

    1. dorpy looks like a bug you’d find under a rock (complimentary)

      1. im ashamed to admit that it took me way too long to realize she looks different because her glasses are absent

        1. Oh no, the Clark Kent effect is real!

          Also, she looks hotter like that, which also makes the “average girl turning prom queen” trope true.
          Or maybe it’s “wow you look better when having a normal conversation instead of spewing hate!”

    2. Mary’s ugliness is on the inside. (And it’s what’s inside that counts.)

      1. Indeed. Evil being automatically ugly is one of the worst cliches in popular culture. One of the best changes in the cinematic adaptation of a certain wildly popular school fantasy series was casting an attractive actor in a role described in the text as looking like a toad. Said actor, being skilled in the thespian art, managed to convey the character’s evil nonetheless.

        1. In Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy is surprised that Glinda is a witch but is beautiful, she responds; “Only wicked witches are ugly!” Even as a little kid, it struck me that was total bullshit.

        2. It really comes down to physiognomy, where attractiveness is seen as virtuous and “ugliness” as evil. This is taken to its logical conclusion in The Beauty and the Beast where Gaston is evil but beloved and the Beast is seen as “evil” for being merely a beast.

      2. I don’t think Mary is ugly, but she usually strikes me as pretty plain compared to most of the female cast members, which is why she took me by surprise today. But, yes, her inner ugliness makes her very unattractive.

    3. Mary could easily make herself more attractive, if she could somehow ease up on spewing hateful bullshit.

  2. Baptize?

    Joyce you were in the Baptist church for like, 2 years max! XD

    1. Most Christian denominations involve some form of baptism or other.
      The Baptists just really focus on how Catholics got the method wrong.

      1. The Baptists think the Catholics got a *lot* of stuff wrong.

      2. I think the more relevant objection is that Joyce, right now, is an ATHEIST!

    2. Baptism is a central ritual in pretty much all of Christianity. It’s what “indelibly” makes someone a Christian. Like during the Spanish Inquisition, non-baptized Jews and Muslims were expelled, but if they got baptized then they were under the church’s jurisdiction and the church would burn them at the stake if they said they were faking.

    3. I can’t believe how many of you didn’t get the reference XD
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/comic/meeee/

  3. This is the most likable and relatable Mary has ever been in the strip, good for her.

    1. It’s the wet hair and frustration with shower sex. If it were any other strip she’d be doing these things while calling for a stoning, but in a vacuum honestly I’d do the same set of things

      1. The wet hair definitely helps. It looks like it’s falling naturally instead of being “that cartoon character’s hair shape” like Dorothy, Joyce, and Rachel. They all look like they walked out of hair and makeup and only found out it’s an early morning scene when they walked on set.

    2. Why?

      1. I think it’s the not-immediately-flying-off-the-handle-and-threatening-fire-and-brimstone … -ness … of her reaction.

        1. I admit, I’m rather surprised she ISN’T immediately launching into a fire and brimstone harrangue at the two of them.

      2. She’s not immediately going the god-botherer route. I’m thinking plenty of people who aren’t sex-shaming fundies might still object to sexy shenanigans in a public shower room

        1. Yeah I like sex and don’t like when people I don’t want to have it next to me. It’s great the rest of the time though

  4. Drown her, Joyce.

    1. joyce touches one(1) yucky thing and in her panic, drowns dorothy in the 0.5 inches of water and grime on the bottom of the shower. the worst timeline commences.

    2. And by that, squirt all over her face, Joyce!!

  5. and tongues!
    speaking in, that is
    what did you think i meant

    1. “(inYOURendo)”
      “(pfffft)”

      Mary: continues to stare maryly

      1. You know it’s the first thing that crossed all our minds.

      2. Martyrly Mary. Smell the suffering.

  6. “If you’d like to join us, Mary, we could perform an exorcism!”

    1. Bee-Tee-Dubs, I never had any troubles with the old site; whatever Hiveworks did with the new site, it either needs optimization or they need to add more servers to handle all the traffic.

      1. The old site definitely had problems. New strips took increasingly long to actually show up after they were posted and the site frequently struggled to handle the traffic of all of us refreshing the new strip.
        .
        Those problems were mostly around the site update, but they definitely existed.
        .
        Today’s issue was a server problem (generally), though, and it definitely would’ve happened with the old site too because it was still hosted by Hiveworks. Willis didn’t change hosts, they just finally gave up on a very old, very abandonware theme for DoA in exchange for this theme, which is still getting its kinks worked out but is at least still supported and getting security updates, etc.
        .
        (I have my gripes with the new theme too.)

        1. I never had problems loading the old site, even at comic posting time. (except for the notorious sliding timeclock) Never had the page refuse to load nor get get “404 Page Not Found” or “504 Gateway Timeout” errors. I get those EVERY NIGHT now, and most likely means Hiveworks doesn’t have enough login servers (or Load Balancers) to handle the traffic, so it fails to serve the pages.

        2. Right but it was on Hiveworks before. It’s always been on Hiveworks. So those things are not because of the change we can see with our eyes.

  7. Okay but this means Mary and Rachel might interact again, and I would be seated for that.

  8. Out of the Rachel-pan and into the Mary

    1. Now I got a dirty and horrifying visual in my mind’s eye. Thanks for that.

      1. I’m gonna need a Sickos gif, stat!

  9. why is mary even asking ?

    in in before all the 504 gateway blocked learn to get in sideways from yesterdays strip.
    now willis just has to get rid of all the autoplaying video ads on adsense , slowing the site to a crawl

  10. everytime i see “Dorothy bottoms” info in DoA i flinch just a little. Joyce doesnt have a single top bone in her body.

    1. …? Why would you say that?

      1. “i’m going to come on my knees”

        usually the one on their knees is giving the sexual favour, ie being the bottom.

        1. No no no, you misunderstand me. What on earth makes you say Joyce doesn’t have top energy? I could not agree more strongly haha.

        2. No no no, you misunderstand me. What on earth makes you say Joyce doesn’t have top energy? I could not disagree more.

        3. (Tried to stop the first comment when I noticed its hilarious typo, but couldn’t, and now I can’t delete either! Oops. :)
          .
          But yeah, I have always thought Joyce was toppy. She’s extra toppy with Dorothy, though.)

        4. RassilonTDavros

          She had a single top bone surgically implanted for the sole purpose of topping Dorothy a couple storylines ago.
           
          She got the donor bone from Ruth’s personal femur stash, no questions asked.

    2. She doesn’t have a Calvaria?

    3. TBH, that just sounds like you haven’t known enough service tops, which is basically Dorothy’s whole deal in 90% of interactions with Joyce.

    4. Joyce is such a top. If Joyrothy never happened, she would have been topping Joe in about a (in-universe) week.

      1. This.
        .
        Like her previous longest running relationship was WALKY. She, as in Joyce, topped the heck out of Walky. She topped the heck out of Joe. She would probably also have topped Jacob! I’m pretty sure the closest Joyce has ever come to dating a top in any universe is Ethan? Who I would still classify as more of a switch than a top. Plus, you know, she was never going to actually interact with him in that way, so it wasn’t really relevant to their dynamic.
        .
        I feel like insisting Joyce could never top anyone is really confusing a (former) lack of sexual experience and therefore confidence with “being a bottom”.
        .
        (And of course we are all somewhat confusing “bottom” and “top” with “sub” and “dom”, but that’s fine, it’s a colloquial usage, as long as no one starts insisting sexual position preference has to match whatever personality type it’s fine.)

    5. I urge you to consider installing Pi-hole (https://pi-hole.net/) – it does an excellent job of protecting you against ads and malware etc.

  11. Dorothy will feel the presence inside her!

  12. “Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.” – Marx

  13. Are we gonna get Roz yelling tips next strip, just to round out the frustration brigade?

    1. Actually I just figured out what Rachel, Roz, and Mary have in common that annoys me. It’s not they they’re just or opinionated or anything. It’s that they each try to push their moral code on everyone they meet.

      1. And thus far, Mary is being far less judgeyjudge than Rachel, this arc, which is… something.

  14. At this point the formula with DoJo scenes is that we’ll have 2-3 strips of cute fluff before getting to the damn point so I’m kind of tuned out rn

    1. You have to pick up speed before you can have a decent train wreck. But you want to watch it in slow motion so you don’t miss anything.

  15. Mary is somehow almost relatable when she interacts with these two specifically.
    Which is funny, cause I’m honestly a Joyrothy Enjoyer for the most part.

  16. okay
     
    i actually like panel 3 mary
     
    it’s a st. patrick’s day miracle xD

  17. ffff
    .
    also, in other news: I GOT A JOB. :) It wasn’t an application I expected to go anywhere, but bam! It went places. :D And it is a significant raise over my last job, too. \o/ Starts in April. :)

    1. Congrats!

      1. Thank you! <3 The relief is beyond intense, it's been more than a year. :')

        1. For me too. -_-;
          Congratulations, and good luck!

        2. Congratulations on escape from job search hell and hella congrats on doing it with a pay raise, that’s rad! Hope the new place is a good environment to be in.

        3. PARTY AT LI”S PLACE!!!!

          i hope your good fortune lasts til last call at the restaurant at the end of the universe!

        4. Bawww thank you all ;o;
          .
          PARTY!!!!

      2. JOB? in THIS economy? <i≥o wait that's actually valid congratulations!

        1. Hee thank you!

        2. Please help!

          Is <i≥o an emoticon whose meaning I've totally missed for decades? I've been staring at it, trying to decide, and all that's coming to mind is…well, seems very off topic from a congratulations. 😅

        3. Please help!

          Is <i≥o an emoticon whose meaning I've totally missed for decades? I've been staring at it, trying to decode, and all that's coming to mind is…well, seems very off topic from a congratulations. 😅

        4. @Sarah Lea can’t say I have ever seen that emoticon

    2. Congrats!!

      1. Thank you <3 <3 I have been on cloud 9 all day and wishing I could share it with the comment section here. :) I know some of yall were pulling for me <3 And good news needs more sharing in general.

    3. Congrats, Li! Hope it goes well!

      1. Thank you! The vibes so far are truly impeccable.

  18. Oh I KNOW Mary’s repressed weeb ass got a hard drive of yuri manga that would knock Joyce’s soul out of her body

    1. Make it yaoi rather than yuri

      1. I never said she only had one hard drive

  19. now mary, we both know those two things don’t cancel each other out.
    well, I know this

  20. Yes, they know that you know. That’s half the fun!

  21. Surprised by how good Mary looks in this one. Shame she’s such an awful person.

    For now I’ll enjoy the look of sheer disdain she has on her face right up until, in what will surely be the next comic, she says something super hateful about gay people.

  22. I’m kind of taken aback at how inconsiderate they’re both being. I was hoping that somehow despite it being morning maybe the stalls weren’t full of people, but no, they are waiting in line. You guys, making your floormates listen to you have sex in a shared space during busy hours is so not cool.

    1. It feels like Dorothy and Joyce have gone from bringing out the best in each other to bringing out the worst in each other, and I hope they start caring sooner rather than later.

      1. They brought out the best in each other?

    2. I’ve kept being taken aback by that for the whole storyline tbh.
      I feel like every time we see them on panel they are doing something marginally worse.

    3. Yes, as much as I like seeing Mary annoyed (such fun)… not wanting people to have sex in communal spaces is more than fair. Mary still sucks, but I think Dorothy and Joyce are in the wrong here.

    4. I agree, it’s really inconsiderate of them.

      1. She should report them to Ruth. That will be entertaining.

        1. I’m sure they would get mildly tut-tutted, ignore it, and continue

    5. I understand why someone as extremist as Mary might object on moral grounds (being pre-marital), other than those outliers why would anyone object to the most beautiful public display of affection, if not in a country with a culture that specifically stigmatises those?

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_display_of_affection

      1. PDA such as holding hands, cuddling, kissing, leaning on each other are acceptable things to do in public. Having sex in public isn’t considered acceptable because the general public hasn’t consented to being being a witness to such acts.

      2. Indeed. The claims that this is “wrong” are only culture/upbringing specific. Yes, numerically more cultures may prefer not to see it than think its OK, but it is just cultural. And it is not simple. Pornography exists so that people can watch other people have sex. Sex shows exist for the same reason. Even this comic has the other patreon and slipshine episodes. I am forced to see things that I don’t want to see in everyday life, because others have said they are OK. And in the past, and in other cultures, public kissing and cuddling = not socially acceptable. And there’s kissing & cuddling and then there’s *kissing & cuddling*. Get a grip. Everyone differs, societies differ and change. A snapshot doth not make a thing “wrong”.

        1. I have separated this because nudity is NOT sex, but the same thing goes for nudity. I’m perfectly happy nude but very aware that many dislike it. But I note this is a group in which many are neurodiverse – and I know that some neurodiverse people *never* get used to the feel of clothes on the skin and that can vary from distraction to actual pain. So there is a social rule making some people pretty unhappy.

        2. “Get a grip”? I am not being unreasonable here. Culturally instilled or not, there is an expectation that I should not witness/hear people having sex in communal spaces. I’m sorry, but I am not unreasonable for wanting this expectation to be met. I am not being a prude. Sex in the dorm showers is jerk behavior.

  23. Joyce getting all her sex jokes she could never make outta the way lol

  24. them being this explicit about their intent to mary bradford, known homophobic snitch, seems like a very bad idea

  25. Joyce and Dorothy, future registered sex offenders for public indecency

  26. I don’t remember who it was that always said Mary was hot (was it Yoto? I think?) but for the first time ever I think I see the light lol. She looks super crazy pretty in these panels.

  27. ok this is probably my favorite strip in a long time. would normally be a little apprehensive but it’s really funny seeing them interact with Mary like this

  28. They’re being cute and annoying Mary! It’s a two for one special!

    Let’s get Carla in here for extra annoyance and maybe pain!

  29. I guess the upside is at least Dorothy might clean up afterwards? Joyce seems like the type to have public sex and then be gross and just leave behind stains as a mark of pride. Anyway, just report them and move on.

  30. Well Mary you can’t really blame them for assuming. Thinking you are stupid is usually a safe bet.

  31. Oh I was waiting for this interaction.

  32. The showers seem unexpectedly popular this time of night. Perhaps the early AM might work better.

    1. This is the start of a new storyline and last time we saw Dorothy and Joyce in their room they were doing morning routines (re-making the bed, Joyce’s birth control pill), so this is actually AM. Definitely sometime before noon.

      1. I was thinking like 3AM early.

  33. I miss when the default Dorothy response to Joyce nonsense was to straight man it instead of yes anding it.

  34. Yay, website is back! :D

  35. Joyce, you’re about to learn a whole new reason to yell out “Jesus Christ!” at the top of your lungs.

  36. Joyce was waiting for this moment for so long (to mock Mary).

  37. An extremely rare but appreciated instance of Mary actually being kind of funny. What besides her own actions has she done to deserve such indignities?

    Kind of funny where the one time a chunk of the comment section would agree with her is when she holds her tongue a little, but after the thing with Carla’s parents maybe she’s being the “Worst Person You Know Makes a Good Point” meme for a bit.

  38. dorothy has drifted into silly pervert persona

  39. See, it’s obviously not a baptism, because female showers is the one place that the definitely-male and absolutely-devoted-to-bathroom-segregation Holy Spirit cannot come into Dorothy.

    ….

    *flees for innuendoing life*

    1. The Holy Spirit is supposed to be Sophia Goddes of wisdom
      suppressed by the Patriarchs so she would be welcome in those
      showers.

  40. At my college, the stalls had curtains, not actual doors, so it would have been much more difficult to shower with someone o_O

  41. This is the funniest I’ve found Joyce and Dorothy in a long time rofl

  42. innuendo, thy name is joyce
    ㅤ​
    …you’re not even ordained. great mental image though.

  43. “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what DO ya do?
    Subtle innuendo follows…”

  44. I know it’s only for a split second, but it’s kinda nice to see Mary act like a normal person (just in exiting the shower and politely informing whatever floormates are there)

    reminds us that (unfortunately) people like her are real and human

  45. In regards to Mary’s position on PDA: Plot Twist. Then there’s this scene. IIRC, the hell house ends with Ruth and Jennifer getting busy on the table.

  46. Ugh. These two. Where’s my ambu-bag?

  47. I’m gonna baptize her! Bathe her in God’s glory…

  48. lol i’m surprised ppl would even bother talking to mary anymore. altho while i don’t use public showers i’d assume if there’s a spot to put a rack on for a towel to put on yourself after then tehre should be a shelf for clothes too versus risking getting it also splashed. but i guess it’d be pretty shitty if someone left clothes on the sink/counter and got robbed altho in mary’s case i’d expect carla or someone else to like replace them or so lol

  49. As much as I’d love to see them keep going with their innuendo and metaphors… I imagine you eventually run out of good ones and end up in a dark place that is not-enough distinguishable from just straight describing a priest doing terrible things to an unfortunate alter boy.

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