shut your beautiful mouth

February


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Tags: dorothy, joyce

176 thoughts on “February

  1. Perfunctory disgruntled aside

    1. It’s good to set boundries.

      1. I was thinking “February is getting up to 45º, what the hell that’s a heatwave in Febru——”… and then realised Dorothy is talking in Fahrenheit. xD My bad! xD

        1. On the same note, kudos to Americans who know without checking whether 16 ounces is really less than two liters, or if the joke is precisely that it’s a difference of one gulp.

        2. @Silly goose to Europeans too! I had to check :D

        3. @SillyGoose to Europeans too! I had to check :D

        4. The weirdness is that soda is sold here in both 2 liter and 16 oz bottles for reasons. It’s one of the very few places we regularly use metric, but only for some sizes.

        5. @thejeff: That’s always cracked me up.

        6. Victor Mortimer

          @The Other Mike
          It was the 1970s. Carter was president, it looked like we might actually go metric, and reusable glass bottles were being replaced with disposable plastic because it was cheaper. And so they switched from the 64-ounce returnable glass bottle to the plastic 2-liter to give us some incentive to save them money and give the world more litter.
          Oh yeah, the glass bottles were not disposables, you’d take them back to the grocery store, get your deposit back, and they’d ship them back to the bottling plant to be washed and reused. Can’t have that, it costs the bottler money.

        7. @ SillyGoose that’s just what the bottles are sold as here. I can very clearly picture what size those two bottles are, despite having no knowledge of how to convert the measurements.

        8. 16 oz. is roughly a quarter of two liters. I make regularly purchases of six packs of 16.9oz bottles of Coke, which are also labeled as .5 liter. So, dropping the .9 oz would leave you 3.6 oz short of a full two liters.

        9. Dwampre Scorrigank

          That’s not just a big gulp, that’s an X-treme-ly big gulp

        10. @Victor Mortimer: Ah, I’d never thought of linking it to our attempt to go metric. Obvious once you think about it, but I also didn’t think of that size or the plastic bottles being introduced at the right time. I guess we’d probably have had half-gallons of soda if the timing had been different.

        11. @sillygoose The other funny thing is that 20oz is a way more common size for soda bottles to be sold in, at least where I live on the west coast of the US. I only see 16oz bottles in big multipacks at Costco.

    2. Gotta say Willis I understand this is a gag, but this comic genuinely makes me worry about your health

  2. Joyce needs her daily 2 liters of High FUCK-OFFtose Corn Syrup.

    1. Agreed. I generally use water for my pill pile but if it helps her take her pill then more power to her.

  3. Someone get Dorothy an ant farm, I think she’d fuckin love it

    1. What about a tamagotchi

      1. Ockshully, people who act elitist about the right way to drink coffee aren’t drinking it for the flavor, they’re drinking it for the elitism. (in jest, also I can’t drink coffee at all so jokes on me)

        1. Dwampre Scorrigank

          Wow totally whiffed on what thread to post that to. Uh, spoilers, people talk about coffee below.

        2. Yeah, heck with coffee. On the other hand, I get my tea straight from India. Talk about elitism.

        3. No coffee, not even decafe?
          My body cannot deal with caffiene but I love the taste of decafe with some
          form of plant milk iced as weather warms up. Here in San Francisco we are
          told to expect a heat wave starting today.

        4. Oh my family TRIED to get me to like coffee. Coffee candy, coffee ice cream. I just don’t like it.

          If I want bitter, I’ll take dark chocolate. (Both are import items we’ve grown dependent on…..)

        5. Dwampre Scorrigank

          @bliss For regular, even first thing in the morning, even a small amount, leads to insomnia at night and usually increased anxiety. I should try decaf, I’m not really sure. It hasn’t seemed worth the effort but coffee has other active compounds in it and maybe that plus the few mgs of caffeine leftover from decaffeinating would be just right for me. On the other hand a tiny dose of straight caffeine has seemed to cause less anxiety so I am not confident.
           
          @elebenty One thing I grew to like was unsweetened hot cocoa (like baking cocoa powder in hot water). I have not tried it in a while, can’t really eat chocolate anymore but that might not cause the same problems as solid dark chocolate. On the other hand I don’t think there’s any place nearby I can buy fair trade (might be same with coffee for that matter), which kind of makes it not worth it for a luxury item. I already have enough foods to feel guilty about that I can’t avoid so easily.

        6. Dwampre Scorrigank

          @BarerMender adjusts monocle Truly, the branded stuff you can get in the west gets the job done but direct-sourced Indian tea tastes like TEA. (we used to have some we’d get mailed to us by family, iirc that was my favorite. We also get some from I think an Indian grocery store that tastes pretty standard to me, I think that one is mostly for frugality. But I don’t pay too close attention as I’m not a big tea-drinker either)

        7. There are some small online tea businesses that import good tea. Mostly loose leaf. Teas from India, China, Japan and some other smaller tea countries.
          I’ve used Upton and Harney, but there are others.

    2. The mail-order ant farms are all super depressing unless you actually get into it as a hobby, build them a better enclosure, and give them a territory to explore.

      You just watch them dig a few tunnels, then stagnate and slowly die off. You’re left with plexiglass full of gel and dead ants.

      1. Thought you oughtta know I can actually read this in Odo’s voice. Sounds like something he’d say after getting solid’ed.

  4. Awwww. Their first fight!

    1. baby’s first “fuck off” to their partner lol

  5. Is at least Diet Sprite?

    Because that tradeoff gets you a whole candy bar guilt-free.

    1. it does not the aspartame slows your metabolism, causing you to gain more weight, at least go for the stevia stuff (or you know take your pills with hot black coffee!)

      (i donot recommend taking pills with hot liquids, it can cause them to disolve premeturely and get stuck to your throat, i unfortunately speak from experience (although) that was taking pills with water, then immediatly drinking hot coffee)

      1. what exactly is meant by “slows down metabolism”? which part of it?

        because my friend whose a diabetic once told me eating fatty foods slows down the absorption process, which is also part of the reason why athletes tend to perform better on high fat diets — it takes the body more time to get the energy out of fat then carbohydrates, with the latter however eating a bunch of simple carbs all at once means you have that much more glucose in your blood all at once — when the body has nothing to do with it at the moment (i.e. no physical or mental exercise), by default it’s stored in fat cells. This energy can later be turned into glucose via gluconeogenesis if not a lot of carbs are “expected” or available, via gluconeogenesis, — the efficacy of the process is different for each individual and determined a lot by diet, exercise, genetics, etc.

        1. I get why you’d describe it like that, though it doesn’t slow absorption exactly, more that a molecule of fat can produce like 4x more energy than one of sugar, and it is harder to release – triglycerides need to be broken into free fatty acids by severing the chain from the hydrocarbon backbone, then they need to be oxidised into a form that can cross through the mitochondrial membrane, then in the mitochondria they’re further transformed and broken down into energy through the citric acid cycle and oxidative phosphorylation. Sugar is easily accessible energy, but it can be used for less in metabolic processes, whereas transformation of fat leads to the creation of acetyl-CoA, an essential part of most catabolic processes.

          The body is more likely to store excess sugar as fat or glycogen thanks to, as you mention, gluconeogenesis, while fat is a longer lasting form of energy that means for athletes they have more readily available energy rather than catabolisation of glycogen stores from the liver or protein from their muscles, which is more likely to go if they have low fat stores.

          It’s been a few years since I studied catabolic processes, so hoping that my impression is still mostly accurate here!

        2. i know very little about the science of the metabolic process just what the reports i’ve come across summarizing the research the metabolic variance in studies regarding aspartame seems likely to be a situation of a certain portion of the population likely have the ability to breakdown aspartame at a quicker rate than others do, similarly to how some folk have a gene that make cilantro taste like soap. the other factor regarding the slowdown of the metabolism is that it is reletively easy to counteract it through regular exercise

      2. Research is divided on that bro, you’re gonna need to do better than that. Signed, a diabetic

      3. Interesting. I have had some with hot milk before and don’t recall ever having an issue. Might depend on the type of pill. My stomach is not a fan of water in the early morning (or anything in the morning with menstrual cramps), and with cramps from hell, I had to figure out a way to down pain medication to help.

        If she can tolerate sparkling water, that might work due to the fizziness of the bubbles. We used to have a really good ginger lime sparkling water, with a true ginger lime flavor and wasn’t sweet or fake, but they stop making it.

        1. In this case hot coffee may be more likely to break down pills faster because it is acidic and the pills are normally basic/alkaline so that they will react and digest appropriately with stomach acid. Milk also being basic would interact with the pills less. The addition of heat really just accelerates free energy which facilitates faster and bigger reactions if reactions are to happen.

        2. also hot milk may be 40-50c, hot coffee is closer to 70-80c

      4. Another good thing to note here when we’re talking about medication being messed up by your choice of beverage, is furanocoumarins, present in a lot of plants and fruits. Particularly bergamottin, found in large amounts in grapefruit and bergamot oranges, and I’d assume in trace amounts in earl grey tea. These will compete with medication in liver metabolism and can make medication ineffective or toxic. I double checked to ensure this wasn’t the case with sprite, and fortunately the virtually nonexistent nutritional variance in the drink does mean that despite being citrus based, it doesn’t seem to contain any furanocoumarins.

        I’ve found out in efforts to ensure accuracy in my comment that furanocoumarins are also phototoxic, they bind with DNA in epithelial cells when exposed to UV rays, killing the affected cells, which initiates an inflammation cascade. This makes me wonder, why does anybody consume grapefruits?

        1. I would suspect that Fresca might contain grapefruit extracts, even if Sprite doesn’t, but who drinks Fresca these days?

    2. i know diet might be ‘slightly’ (altho not much) healthier but i never liked the ‘after taste’, zero sugar is a bit more tolerable and even then only for specific sodas for me personally, like dr pepper zero. altho for coke zero just plain coke i’d need to add creamer in if not just get cherry (aparently they have an orange coke again but it’s like ‘orange cream’ but not as orange leaning as their previous kind so if you want more of an ‘orangey’ taste best to get orange fanta or sunkist zero lol, jarritos is nice idk if there’s zero sugar versions of there but despite being in the south i’ve only seen like 1-2 flavors of it even tho there’s a handful more)

      and rootbeer can be hit or miss as well tho icani magine joyce enjoying root beer floats unless it counts against her ‘mixing’ tolerance

  6. Who is off and why does everyone keep telling me to fuck them??? And why is Joyce telling Dorothy to??

    1. joyce likes to watch

    2. Joe’s part of this somehow, I just can’t quite figure out how.

      1. Off is actually the last name of Joe’s very good longstanding friend Jack, I think.

  7. If she’s downing a 2L bottle of Sprite everday just to take a pill… that’s gonna get real expensive. I mean, I drink a lot of Mt Dew, *and* I have a problem swallowing pills, but I’m not that bad!

    1. Also, not great for your teeth! I’m paying for my sugar drink sins pretty badly.

      1. There’s a lot to be said for coffee addiction.

        1. as long as it is black coffee

        2. Well, yes. People who don’t like their coffee black don’t actually like the coffee. They like the stuff they’re putting in it.

        3. Do you think that people who drink lattes only like the taste of milk

        4. Exactly, Clif, which is why I don’t drink coffee.
          It’s not worth the effort to make it enjoyable for me, and there are other beverages I do enjoy that can give caffeine and sugar.
          I do like the smell of coffee, tho.

        5. @cbroses youd prob like chocolate covered coffee beans, best friend hates coffee but loved those.
          @clif real lattes made with expresso (i know its repeated) are an act of chemistry where you get both flavours and as an enjoyer of both milk and espresso those are nice (especially after outdoor winter activities) but french press can make folgers drinkable (i use salted caramel beans bought bulk that make good coffee in a drip unit as well as a press)

        6. It’s ok if you don’t like two ingredients to touch, without looking down on people who do.

        7. @clif
          Let’s consider that logic…
          People who drink coffee with milk don’t actually like coffee, they like milk.
          People who drink milk with coffee don’t actually like milk, they like coffee.
          Oh, wait, there’s also the simultaneous air intake. True coffee drinkers drink coffee in a vaccuum!
          Judging people’s beverage choices seems like it might get confusing. I think I’ll not bother.

        8. How dare y’all insinuate that the way I enjoy something isn’t the only right way to enjoy it. This ignores the fundamental structure of the universe which was obviously fashioned for my amusement. I can’t imagine any other sensible way to explain reality.

        9. I enjoy coffee as a means to consume cream and sugar and flavorings, and I’m quite clear abut that. Would I enjoy that without the coffee? Yes, actually, steamers are great. But I do enjoy the included coffee as well at times.

    2. For you and anyone else who has trouble with pills, try this:
      Take a swig of water, pop the pill in your mouth, and then drink normally through a straw. Practice with M&Ms Minis (assuming you’re not diabetic).

    3. I´ve found that what works for cats and dogs?
      Also works well for pill-shy human gullets.
      One teaspoon of yoghurt, pills mixed in.
      Never knew a cat, kid or cancer patient who still had problem swallowing pills that are embedded in a spoon of lubricating gloop.

      Having the tummy tolerate the specific pharmacological side effects ?
      Sadly is a whole other bucket of fish.

  8. Consider: a glass of water but then you chase it with a delightful treat to make sure it makes it all the way down

    1. I’s say Dorothy should try the trick you do with dogs where you wrap the pill in cheese, but Joyce might consider that to be mixing ingredients and become even MORE upset.

  9. 45°F is about 7°C, for all my fellow metric users who weren’t quite sure what temperature that was.

    1. Damn metric users. You guys are savages, don’t you know that every single unit of measurement should have its scaling system set with no regard to practical applications or other units of measure within the system, and that they should only add into larger units at seemingly random quantities. Increases by base 10 from cm to meter to km? I will take my 3 feet to a yard and 1,760 yards to a mile, thank you very much.
      The only time I want meteric nonsense around is to jam it haphazardly into systems that already use the US customary units. Everyone knows drinks should come as six ounce, eight ounce, 16 ounce (already exactly 1 pint but never cut out the unneeded syllablus and call it that), and one liter (its basically 2 pints but why do that when you can add an ounce and a billion digit fraction of one and jump to a utterly different system of measurement). Your not using your head! Think, IntangibleMatter, Thnk!

      1. Harsh but fair. This metric user went naturally to the cubit for measuring mic placement in my old studio. Well, a cubit and a handsbreadth. Can’t do that with newfangled units without pulling out a ruler.

      2. On a couple side tangents, there are some practical benefits for having things divided by 12 (and therefore divided by 3 and 4 instead of just 5). Out in the field or doing cooking measurements, etc, it isn’t uncommon to need something divided by a third or a quarter. For very large numbers, it doesn’t matter as much, but I specifically find it easier for cooking and gardening (after dealing with both through science and greenhouse work). On the other hand, I can’t picture the concept of a mile other than the amount of time it takes me from point a to point b, so the size is large enough that I could care less if we used kilometers instead.

        Celsius would be less annoying to me if they made the boiling point of water be 200 instead of 100. It would be a closer match to Fahrenheit (since they are 1.8 degrees different, with a 32 degree adjustment). I find using the freezing point and boiling point of water to be just as arbitrary as what Fahrenheit used with water, frigorific mixture and human body temperature. My thoughts are most people are only going to deal with around 0F to 100F (give and take about 20F or so depending on location) in their everyday lives besides cooking (and even then it is only through what you set the oven to). Why reduce that everyday amount by around half and reduce the range people can describe how it feels outside? It also seems silly to do it based on the boiling point of water, as most people wouldn’t need to know that in their everyday life as they just set the point to boil with whatever heat they want from the stove. Sure, it could be useful for science and larger temperatures, though I believe they switch to Kelvin at some point. I guess I just don’t understand why the boiling point of water matters when we talk to each other weather on earth? The temperature at which you die from heatstroke or freeze to death feels more relevant than the boiling point of water at that rate.

        1. Yes, it’d be much more convenient if we used base 12 or even base 16 instead of this silly base 10.
          As to that other stuff, though… well, while I’d disagree that the freezing and boiling points of water seem as arbitrary as the temperature of a specific mix of three substances and an incorrect estimate of human body temperature, it’s really just numbers, and (for example) water freezing at 32°F works just as well as at 0°C, as long as everyone understands and agrees. Trouble is, in that sense, Celsius has the advantage, with only a few places still using Fahrenheit. Would be nice if people didn’t seem quite so insistent on using only integers, though.
          The temperature ranges people deal with depend greatly on where they are, as James mentioned below, and don’t stay within that tidy 0°F to 100°F range… and even survivable temperatures vary by person.
          So, again, arbitrary, whichever scale you use (unless you’re using Kelvin or Rankine, where 0 is properly 0, but most people don’t encounter that in everyday life).
          Just to add, though: some of the phrasing in your comment made it look like you were accusing a shadowy cabal of trying to divide temperatures in half or something, when it’s just a difference between the the numbers one Polish physicist chose in 1724 versus those chosen by a Swedish astronomer in 1742 — not quite so exciting, sorry.

        2. Don’t trust Swedish physicists and Polish astronomers. Or was it the other way around.

          Don’t trust Clif’s short term memory.

        3. I called it arbitrary in a reference to the fact that we could have chosen any compound’s melting point and boiling point. Like setting the melting point of mercury as 0 and its boiling point as 100. While water is important to life, so are several other compounds.

          As for temperatures, I just said generally between 0 and 100 degrees. I know quite well that temperatures can easily get above and below those temperatures, and that they can have variations depending on humidity, wind chill and other things. If they decided to use the maximum temperature felt on earth to be 100 degrees and thr minimum to be 0, I would be fine with that.

          I didn’t mean to imply that there is some conspiracy going around. That was never my intention. The fixation on making everything base 10 is interesting to me, as 10 isn’t the most practical number to make a base except for the fact that we normally have 10 fingers and 10 toes and our numerical system based on it. I might digress and start singing “new math” by Tom Lehrer if I get too much on that subject though. I do wonder what thr most optimized base number would be.

      3. 16 oz is not a pint. A pint is 20 fluid ounces – proper British fluid ounces at that. Because believe it or not, the colonials made up *different* fluid ounces. This is the root of all the world’s problems.

        1. True. If only the British had defined it correctly to start with, there would have been far fewer problems.

        2. I could be wrong about this, but I think the British actually changed it afterwards, trying to standardize things in the early 1800s. The colonials kept the old version.

    2. Did you know -40F and -40C are the same temperature?

      1. Hm. a few bars and we’ll fake it.

        Actually the universe would clearly freeze to death long before those temperatures were achieved.

    3. 45º C is more survivable than 7º C.

      1. i think you have that backwards, 45c will kill most canadians

      2. 7º C’s definitely more comfortable if you’re dressed for it, but 45º C might have the edge in terms of what an undressed human can withstand? I don’t actually know offhand, I feel like it could go either way, heatstroke is no joke

        1. Lazy internet research is indicating that I probably should have trusted my gut that this wasn’t even technically correct.

        2. 45c heatstroke will kill you far faster than exposure at 7c, a naked human in the sun an moving could survive hours at 7c,

        3. IntangibleMatter

          I’m canadian and not even from one of the super cold regions and I’m gonna be honest I could chill in a t-shirt in 7°C weather sometimes

    4. Fahrenheit is the most intuitive of the US measurements, for weather temperature (not other temperature things, though). 100 is very hot. 0 is very cold. 0-100 is generally survivable, although you’d need heavy clothing/water closer to the low/high ends.

      Makes a lot more sense than ounces, which can mean like half a dozen different things. Even for US fluid ounces, that can mean ~29.57 mL or 30 mL. The bottle Joyce is talking about would be 500 mL, which is labeled as 16.9 ounces. Which is ~29.57, even though the 30 mL is designed for measuring foods.

      1. Weight measurements, miles, and some other measurements that I rarely use in the imperial system have never made sense to me. I find volume ones to be useful though.

      2. I think you’re confusing familiarity with intuitiveness. I grew up and live in a country that uses Celsius, and it feels intuitive to me: the freezing point of water seems pretty important to the type of weather you get, so having snow on one side of 0 and rain on the other seems fairly sensible.

        I also live in an area where most years the summers will go well over 100°F in the summers, and minimums rarely reach freezing temperatures in the winter. So Fahrenheit’s 0-100 range doesn’t seem particularly special.

        1. Jepp, ´muricans be coping. If tongue in cheek.
          Even the brits only use imperial measurements at the customer front end anymore. You will order a pint anywhere on the british isles- but the beer always comes from barrels marked 200l standard eu pressurized beverage container. Even if no drop of it ever crossed a border.
          The cheese might be tagged in cut ounces in your bodega – but the whole wheel has very probably been a 25 kg trade standard weight and size.

        2. “Fahrenheit is the most intuitive of the US measurements.”
          .
          That’s the thing you’re arguing with. Are you sure you even disagree with it?

        3. Even with that qualifier, no.
           
          Speaking as a Canadian, I do often find myself slipping into using US systems for things, usually distance or volume, but basically never Fahrenheit.

        4. I think you’re the one confusing familiarity with intuitiveness. Like you said, you grew up with Celsius so it feels intuitive to you.

          But HueSatLight isn’t just comparing Celsius to Fahrenheit, rather they are comparing Fahrenheit to other US measurements.

          They are familiar with ounces, yet they don’t find the system intuitive. This demonstrates how they don’t find measurement systems intuitive simply because they are familiar.

      3. Fahrenheit is intuitive for Yanks because it’s what they grew up using, I assure you that you would have taken to Celsius just as easily if you’d grown up in basically any other country on the planet.
         
        I can also say from experience that Fahrenheit is not actually particularly intuitive, and I say that as someone who actually had family members who never switched over.

    5. And 16 fluid ounces = about 0.47 liters.

    6. Remember the simple math for weather temperatures:
      F = 2C + 30
      C = (F – 30) / 2
      Its not exact numbers, but for the vast majority of Earth temperatures, it will at least be close enough to understand, and its math you can do in your head.

  10. The stage of the relationship where they start to figure out the incompatibilities of their particular neurodivergences.

  11. Wow, something Joyce won’t do even for Dorothy. And it doesn’t even involve foods touching!

    Possible Chekov’s weighted blanket in panel 1?

    1. “Possible Chekov’s weighted blanket in panel 1?”

      I don’t think so, it looks too floofy. Weighted blanket covers are effing heavy (like more than 20lbs) so if she was holding it like that, it would be hanging straight across her arms and straight down off them, with visible and prominent folds.

  12. If Joyce ever needs to take more than one pill at the same time, does she need an entire 2-liter bottle of sprite for each?

  13. You’d think water’s purity* would appeal to Joyce’s OCD.

    * As long as she doesn’t know how easily water bonds with virtually any other substance to the point where you can’t get “pure” H20 outside of a lab.

    1. If she’s anything like me, I bet it’s temp based. I can guzzle some nice ice cold water but if it’s room temp? Blegh.

  14. that sounds like a lot of pee

    1. Kidneys are wasted on the young.

  15. Joyce just blew past Ruth and Malaya, and is coming up fast on Amber. She’s also surprisingly high in the normalized-for-appearances rankings, considering that she has more appearances than anyone, and how little of the comic she’s actually been swearing for.

    1. She’ll still never touch Jennifer.

      1. That’s fine; plenty of others have.

        {rimshot.wav}

      2. I dunno, Billie has a lot of F-bombs, but she took the comic’s virginity 15.5 years ago, and has been “fuck”ing constantly ever since. Joyce has only a third as many, but her first one was less than two years ago. At their current rates, I calculate that Joyce will surpass Jennifer in about 3.5 years.

    2. I appreciate that Dina only has three, just because people make assumptions of you doesn’t put any onus on you to disprove them.
       
      @clif But can she surpass HER MOM (boom, in someone’s FAAAACE I’m not sure who)
      (at a glance it would take four fucks)

  16. I asked about sleeping ladder-side or anti-ladder-side in loft or bunk beds, but I see now that these IU loft beds have the horrible design where the bedrail doesn’t go all the way to the other side of the bed!

    Yeah, if I had a loft bed like that, I would absolutely sleep head to ladder-side only, because I don’t want my head next to a large unprotected drop. Who designs a bed like that??

    Grr, argh, holy acrophobia. Holy lawsuit from restless sleepers.

    1. So I’m actually gonna say opposite of you (again lol). The siderails mean I can’t easily swing my legs over to get them onto the ladder, and I’m not sure I could spin around in the headspace, and don’t want to try the ladder head-first (most days), so being oriented to back down the ladder it is.
       
      (actually here I’m pretty sure we see pillow on the unprotected end (which I think matches how we’ve seen them in bed… some of the time at least) and she must move the ladder back and forth for desk access. )

  17. Fuck off, Dorothy.

    No, no, fuck off some more.

    Keep fucking off until you’ve fucked your way around the world and fucked right back on.

    And then? Fuck off.

    1. As the great sage Mr. Miyagi did say, “Fuck on; fuck off.”

  18. I know Joyce can’t hear this, but for anyone else having trouble taking a pill; put a small amount of honey on a spoon, place the pill in the honey, add a small amount of honey to cover the pill, then swallow it that way.
    .
    Hope that helps someone.

    1. I’ll have to try that sometime, thank you!

    2. My sister uses applesauce for that trick. Three time daily.

    3. Using a small glass of milk has been my go-to for years, if that helps anyone.

  19. I forget do we know if its the flavor or how bubbly sprite is for the reason Joyce prefers it

    She might benefit from being introduced to sparkling water

    Not as good as just normal water sure but certainly better than Sprite

    1. She’s extremely partial to Sprite over Sierra Mist, an almost indistinguishable competing beverage, so, definitely not something she can just port to sparkling water.

      1. How ’bout some Welch’s Grape Juice in a paper cup? That always hits the spot

        1. Honestly, I wonder if it’s got bad associations now? I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.

      2. You mean Starry.

        1. I do not! I know Sierra Mist no longer exists but Joyce has yet to express an opinion on Starry.

  20. I’m afraid to say that Default Dorothy is on again.

  21. I giggled so hard at that last panel. Love these goobers.
    .
    (I also find Dorothy checking in on every action to be very. Relatable.)

    1. Just to note: I mentioned before finding DoJo a boring pairing. That’s only when they’re just being generically cute; When they’re being goobers (as they so often are), they’re usually entertaining.

  22. 7º C’s definitely more comfortable if you’re dressed for it, but 45º C might have the edge in terms of what an undressed human can withstand? I don’t actually know offhand, I feel like it could go either way, heatstroke is no joke

    1. The edit function is never working when I need it

      1. So this question’s a little late but did you manually clip the EGS avatar you had before? Or is there a discussion forum for EGS where you rolled it? Also what’s the new avi from?

        1. It was a screengrab that I edited and manually set as my avatar, yeah. If there’s an EGS dedicated forum/discussion space I’m not aware of it
           
          My current avatar is a character from a game called Demonschool. Sort of a mix between Persona and Into the Breach, it’s a good time.

        2. EGS doesn’t have any kind of official forum. I think a couple comics do or did, but the general rule is “comment sections were a mistake”.

        3. Just mentioning avatars reminded me that I wish we’d get the random avatars back

    2. I’ve experienced 45’C and I would take 7’C over it any day of the week. Any. Goddamn. Day.

      I’m in Australia and have lived in 10+ houses and none have had air conditioning. Australia’s housing and rental regulations are not so good.

    3. One thing to note is that it is basically impossible to sleep or think or do much of anything in 45C heat, whereas you’ll be able to do most activities in 7C heat.

  23. As a Perth, Australia resident, I can say that the phrase “Forty-Five Degrees…February is starting strong” is absolutely relatable, for totally different reasons.

    1. SW Victoria here. If there was a like button, I would be liking this.

  24. Do those pills taste that horrible to make her want to drink 2 liters of Sprite?

    1. Nah Joyce just hates taking pills

    2. For some neurodivergent people, taking pills is really hard. I can’t speak for everyone but I think for me it’s a texture related thing. I don’t have to take 2 liters of soda like Joyce to take a pill, but it’s usually a 50/50 split if I’m gonna be able to swallow the pill or if it’s gonna get caught in my throat and I gag it back up.

    3. I hope Joyce learns to take pills with water, but more out of concern that downing that much soda (even 16 oz) to take one pill is an AWFUL lot of sugar which will have serious health repercussions if she does it every day.

      1. Yeah, even taking the pills with a glass of soda would be so much better than the whole bottle

      2. If the thing that makes them easier to drink is the fizz, sparkling water can do in a pinch!!

  25. Just for a moment there I thought there was hope for America and then Joyce spoiled it by using ounces, whateverthehell THEY are.

    1. Well, there’s the avoirdupois ounce (28.349523125 g), the troy ounce (31.1034768 g), the imperial fluid ounce (28.4130625 mL), the US customary fluid ounce (29.5735295625 mL) and the US food labeling fluid ounce (30 mL). Hope that helps.

      1. There’s also the dry ounce, the standard mean ounce, the Texas ounce which is largest ounce except for the metric ounce which is one-tenth of a nautical pound. There is the antediluvial ounce used to measure things before they are normally watered down There’s your country ounce, your Helenian ounce, your medical ounce, which is not used to measure weight or volume, but rather is a measure of prevention. The New Jersey ounce was used only by boot-leggers during prohibition. Am I forgetting anything?

  26. Oh she’s swearing at her, that means that she’s really committed to this relationship
    … Poor Joe

  27. Dorothy, switch her to a shot glass of sprite and domme her ritually each time she does it.

    1. Dorothy is not the top in this relationship.

      1. An immutable fact that could never have any flexibility in any relationship.

  28. Swallowing pills is no joke. Drinking everything in the whole house to get one down is the standard when you start lmao

  29. Dorothy’s still the mommest of the moms. Worrisome. Very few relationships survive a strong supervisory skew over time unless the ‘child’ in the relationship suppresses the urge to grow.

  30. There! It’s important to have boundaries in a relationship, and Joyce has now set one!

  31. Joyce, beetus is not an acceptable trade off for menstrual cramps.

  32. Oop their first fight; relationship now in shambles. /j

    1. NoCorrelation.gif
      .
      (As popular as the myth remains, there’s really no evidence at all that you get diabetes by eating too much sugar.)

      1. Thanks for this.

        1. like, she could make herself sick in the short term (like, throwing up)! It’s not great nutritionally! but it would not give her diabetes, that’s just now how anything works.

  33. Honestly kinda annoying how wherever Joyce thing with her soda bottle come up people gets so weird about it

    1. prolly ’cause it’s soda versus water/tea but at least she’s not chugging a beer with it lol

  34. My cat prefers her pills dissolved in a few milliliters of water.

  35. Let her drink her sprite if she wants to drink her sprite. Who the fuck cares?

    1. Anybody who cares about her should. 2 liters of sprite a day is insane.

      1. Yeah. She’s not just washing it down with some Sprite, if she’s stuck with what she described the first time, she’s dropping the pill into the bottle then chugging the entire thing. Every morning.
        This is much weirder than her usual food issues. And more harmful.
        It’s partly comic exaggeration I’m sure, but since it is, it’s not strange to find it weird.

    2. Joyce already said she was thinking about cutting back to a smaller bottle which is what Dorothy should have encouraged. I’m objecting to her trying to switch Joyce from sprite to water because it makes her (Dorothy) personally uncomfortable. This is just the latest in a long line of Dorothy’s control freak behavior. All the minor little tweaks she makes to Joyce to try and turn her into a version of herself she’s more comfortable with. She tried this with Walky and definitely did this with Danny. It’s not okay. She’s dating the person she’s dating and she has to learn to accept that.

    1. Ha glad you enjoyed that. I actually hope Willis makes it canon.

      1. Something like this is coming someday, maybe not exactly this, but the laws of fiction demand it

  36. Swallowing pills became so much easier when I realized they were nothing special. I eat and swallow food all the time.

    1. Yes! I still find it helpful to flip the tip of my tongue back in a C shape so the pills are “cupped”, and then drink water. So the gag reflex doesn’t get triggered. As I kid I also found it helpful to put pills in my mouth, drink water then fake “chew” with my jaw a bit then swallow.

    2. i’m not against it, dont’ take a lot of medicine but i’d rather it be small at least, i’m sure there’s medical reasons why but you’d think there’d be more that’d make them smaller than dimes or so for ease of swallowing if not liquid/a powder you can mix into stuff

  37. Honestly, my mom takes her pills with soda usually too. I meanwhile swallow them dry

    1. Careful dry swallowing. If the pill gets stuck in your esophagus, it can dissolve letting the contents burn your throat (depending on the pill).

  38. The first time I ever got prescribed pills I needed to swallow, I just… didn’t. I tried, couldn’t get it. I broke it open– it was a capsule pill– that was a horrible idea. So then I just pretended to take the pills and wrapped them in a tissue and threw them away each morning. (I was ten at the time, they were antibiotics, wasn’t the best move, but I lived.)

  39. afraid i’m with joyce on this one. fuck water

    1. Waaaaaater sucks. It tastes like nothing! Yeah it’s the source of all life no denying that but it’s like an ingredient. You gotta add other stuff to make it worth the experience.

  40. I don’t think Dorothy being this way has anything to do with sex or arousal. This is literally just her personality.

  41. at least switch to zero sugarl. altho if you down an entire bottle, other than ‘enjoying’ the carbonation would you even be able to taste it lol?

    altho autistic uncomfort/feeling aside, wouldn’ti t be easier for her to use one of those patches/rings? Altho idk if that works well

  42. tbf it’s hard to help joyce out in this specific case without it seeming like ‘mommy-ing.(?)’ Or treating her ‘like a dog’ when becky was half joking about hiding it in something like you would with a dog

  43. Joyce, you’re gonna get diabeetus.

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