Joe is never living down the three way allegations
Taffy
📝Guy who never had a three-way but somebody started a rumor about it in high school and now he can’t convince anyone it’s not true.
David M Willis
that’s just Chelsea’s origin story in The Afterparty
Steamweed
Some women come on to Joe later, asking about threesomes, but wanting to know about his earlier experiences. He says he hasn’t had any, so they change their minds. Poor Joe.
Did she though?
The way I read those pages she said she “had to” because she wants to be with Dorothy.
To which he answered she doesnt neccessarily have to, because he would be okay with it.
At which point the conversation broke off.
I mean, I would consider this breaking up.
But it doesnt appear to be a closed case for him – as this page seems to support.
And since Joyce did not tell anybody of his offer, nor declined it? neither might she.
Ophidiophile
It’s called “wishful thinking”. Joe is hanging onto the possibility that he still has a chance to be together with Joyce as her second lover. So a throuple, not necessarily a three-way.
Gigafreak
Angling is the right word. After all, a triangle has three angles!
SartorialDragon
i’m also worried about Joe. While the situation isn’t technically closed because Joyce and Joe didn’t really talk about whether Joe’s poly request was a thing they’d actually go for, i feel like they aren’t on the same page. For Joe, it’s not over until she says No to poly, for Joyce, it’s over until she says Yes to Poly. That’s an important difference. And i don’t think Joyce is ready for poly, and she’s way too busy exploring her gay identity to consider it at the moment, it seems. Despite *also* having feelings (romantic and sexual) for Joe, but they currently take second place to those for Dorothy.
Danny, you know the chick Joyce is banging is Dorothy. Even if Joe was aiming for that (which is unlikely), you know Dorothy wouldn’t bang him in a million years.
Eh I’ll give him a pass given he probably also thought he knew Dorothy wouldn’t ask him about bisexuals cheating like it was an inevitable outcome so why wouldn’t she reconsider sleeping with Joe
This is the room where Danny and Joe live. Danny did not have to be carrying it, because this is the one place it would be if it was on the campus at all. It does not even have to be his own copy of the yearbook, it could be Joe’s.
Where was he keeping it? Probably in a drawer, rather than in his drawers.
Note how that comic does not mention Joe wanting a threeway at all
Rosicrucian
Particularly, the theory yesterday was that Joe sent Dorothy Joyce’s way expecting that cheating would result, which would make them feel guilty enough to try polyamory with him.
Which sure seems to be reaching pretty hard to make Joe look bad.
Throwatron
“Reaching pretty hard to make Joe look bad” has been a common pastime around here, for quite a long time.
thejeff
But so has waving away all the ways that Joe really was bad.
Yeah, I think the idea that Joe was hoping for cheating and guilt is silly.
Joe was just straight up thinking “It would be hot if my girlfriend had a girlfriend”. And I really, really, hope he doesn’t wind up getting what he wants.
He was thinking “Joyce seems to want this, and Joyce should have everything she wants, and me being a good boyfriend to her, means me doing anything and everything I can to make her comfortable, and get her anything that she wants.”
It would be rhetorically useful for the people claiming it if it were true.
clif
We saw Joyce break up with him. The fact that he didn’t break up with her, and that there are further conversations to be had, changes that not at all.
Jon
@Clif – We saw Joyce say she couldn’t date two people at a time because “I’m not a hussy!” Literally two panels later, in the same strip, “I… am a hussy.” That’s not breaking up, that’s coming to a realization.
I figured, which if this means Willis’ “cheating arc” still isn’t over yet, I wonder if the one who is going to be “cheated on” this arc is actually going to be Dorothy (i.e. Joyce ends up continuing her relationship with Joe without Dorothy being aware of it, at least for a bit).
Or at the least the idea that any breakup is a totally mutually understood agreement betwixt the two individuals.
Which might create drama if Joe is assuming they’re still together and Joyce is assuming they’re broken up.
I honestly don’t think Joyce has thought enough about Joe to think of anything, but she DID look hella awkward when Dorothy said they’d broken up with their boyfriends. Joyce, at least at that point, still regarded her Joe breakup as a question mark.
Trying my best
This is why I am certain the relationship is more of an “It’s Complicated” than a “totally over.” Just from a storytelling perspective, why would Willis include that bit of Joyce being awkward WRT Joe being called her ex, if the narrative isn’t going to do something with that?
+
I’m excited for things to get messy!
Joyce literally didn’t tell Joe at any point “I am breaking up with you.”
What she said was “I have to come break up with you.” This expresses Joyce’s underlying assumptions about relationships and monogamy, that come from her fundamentalist background. Joe then corrects her assumption, and makes it clear to her that he is perfectly comfortable being her #2 relationship, and that it’s still her choice whether or not she chooses to break up with him. The interaction then immediately ends, as Joyce realizes that her being outed on the front page of the sunday paper represents a huge threat to her sister, and rushes to go deal with that issue, leaving the conversation deliberately unresolved.
Joyce entered the conversation assuming she had no agency or choice over whether she was dumping Joe, because in her mind, monogamy is the default, and so for her to be a good person, she has to break it off with Joe, right now. Joe corrected her on this, because Joyce’s entire friend group is used to routinely helping her unpack her fundamentalist misconceptions and trauma. He then helps her realize that she does, in fact, have agency over this decision; but now, that means she has something to think about, in regards to whether or not she is going to break up with Joe, or not.
The relevant sequence of strips starts right there, and continues for like 4 more strips. It’s really not a complicated nor nuanced series of events. And, we know Joyce hasn’t actually made a decision regarding this, yet, because she said so, to Joe, directly, right before she tried to talk to Dina.
So, Joe is not wrong to think that he isn’t “officially” broken up with, yet; but, he’s also smart enough to know, that he’s in an “it’s complicated” space, and that things are tenuous. Joyce also, clearly, does not think she is “officially” broken up with Joe, yet, which does mean she did Dorothy dirty by dumping her boy toy for her, despite not following through with actually leaving Joe, which Dorothy has clearly assumed, has already happened.
ResRam
C´mon, Walky is not a boy toy.
He´s a toy boy!
cue: *Why not both? Both is good!*-meme
Throwatron
Can’t reply to the post directly but “toy boy” made me snort out loud
ResRam
/Throwatron
Yeah, the thread depth is bad in this new script. It wasnt good before, but now its outright frustrating how many posts cannot be answered. Really slow, at least for me, too.
Aside from the 10-min edit window I dont see any upisdes to the change.
As for Walky – I couldnt resist – him throwing a toy at dotty as a courtship gift early on made the pun irresistible.
How is she cheating on Dorothy? Since she and Joe supposedly didn’t break up, they haven’t fucked, or kissed, or gone on a date. They’ve barely even spoken, as people here have bongoed endlessly about. What has she done that qualifies as cheating?
Throwatron
The thing people are mad about, in this case, is that she has deliberately deceived Dorothy as to her current relationship status with Joe; Dorothy fully thinks that Joyce and her are exclusive, but technically – and the people who are persnickety about this, are very much details-oriented folks when it comes to the morality of relationships – Joyce has still not separated from Joe, despite Joyce actually forcing the issue to break up Dorothy and Walky. Dorothy was probably still about to break up with him anyway, but lying to your partner about whether you’re currently single, is generally considered a dick move, in dating culture.
thejeff
I do think it’s kind of lousy of her to not tell Dorothy if she’s really considering the poly idea. Not cheating really, but false pretenses. Understandable, because how do you have that conversation when you’re not even sure yourself yet? But still lousy.
And worse because she made sure Dorothy’d ditched Walky without know she was keeping her own options open.
Thing 2
Joyce went to break up with Joe and he causer her brain to overload with the sweetest, most thoughtful present ever, and Joyce gave Joe a blowjob.
194 thoughts on “Feeling your feelings”
shadowcell
Dumbing of Age Book 16 – Everything is About Threeways
Pocky
Joe will never live down that yearbook
Deanatay
Joe is never living down the three way allegations
Taffy
📝Guy who never had a three-way but somebody started a rumor about it in high school and now he can’t convince anyone it’s not true.
David M Willis
that’s just Chelsea’s origin story in The Afterparty
Steamweed
Some women come on to Joe later, asking about threesomes, but wanting to know about his earlier experiences. He says he hasn’t had any, so they change their minds. Poor Joe.
Thing 2
Taffy: Fuck! That’s me!
RonWF
I’d be saying “I didn’t break up with Joyce. She broke up with me!”
I don’t think Joe’s angling for a threeway. I think he’s (likely vainlly) hoping she’ll leave Dorothy and come back to him.
clif
I don’t believe he wants her to leave Dorothy. That’s what makes the situation interesting.
Dot
That is not what Joe is angling for. That’s just contradicted by the text.
ResRam
Did she though?
The way I read those pages she said she “had to” because she wants to be with Dorothy.
To which he answered she doesnt neccessarily have to, because he would be okay with it.
At which point the conversation broke off.
I mean, I would consider this breaking up.
But it doesnt appear to be a closed case for him – as this page seems to support.
And since Joyce did not tell anybody of his offer, nor declined it? neither might she.
Ophidiophile
It’s called “wishful thinking”. Joe is hanging onto the possibility that he still has a chance to be together with Joyce as her second lover. So a throuple, not necessarily a three-way.
Gigafreak
Angling is the right word. After all, a triangle has three angles!
SartorialDragon
i’m also worried about Joe. While the situation isn’t technically closed because Joyce and Joe didn’t really talk about whether Joe’s poly request was a thing they’d actually go for, i feel like they aren’t on the same page. For Joe, it’s not over until she says No to poly, for Joyce, it’s over until she says Yes to Poly. That’s an important difference. And i don’t think Joyce is ready for poly, and she’s way too busy exploring her gay identity to consider it at the moment, it seems. Despite *also* having feelings (romantic and sexual) for Joe, but they currently take second place to those for Dorothy.
Bill Erak
Danny, you know the chick Joyce is banging is Dorothy. Even if Joe was aiming for that (which is unlikely), you know Dorothy wouldn’t bang him in a million years.
KM
Eh I’ll give him a pass given he probably also thought he knew Dorothy wouldn’t ask him about bisexuals cheating like it was an inevitable outcome so why wouldn’t she reconsider sleeping with Joe
clif
Sal knows that. Do we know Danny knows that?
NGPZ
LOL he really has changed aint he?
Taffy
Does he just keep that yearbook in his ass?
Bill Erak
Under his shirt in case a mugger tries to take his cool hat
Yotomoe
One day danny will be in a gunfight and realize the High School Yearbook stopped the bullet.
Taffy
The bullet fired into his ass, where he keeps the yearbook.
3oranges
“Lucky I always keep my senior yearbook close to my heart!”
(BLAM)
“Good thing I was carrying an extra thick ukelele! …I think I’ll go inside.”
Tessea
Under his hat.
Needfuldoer
Next to the granola bar.
Gigafreak
This is the room where Danny and Joe live. Danny did not have to be carrying it, because this is the one place it would be if it was on the campus at all. It does not even have to be his own copy of the yearbook, it could be Joe’s.
Where was he keeping it? Probably in a drawer, rather than in his drawers.
Taffy
Nah, he definitely had it in his butt. Your explanation doesn’t make sense.
Rosicrucian
See folks, you don’t have to make up weird theories about this being Joe’s goal all along.
John Campbell
Yeah, those crazy theories that Joe has explicitly confirmed in the actual text of the comic.
AMagicalDuck
Note how that comic does not mention Joe wanting a threeway at all
Rosicrucian
Particularly, the theory yesterday was that Joe sent Dorothy Joyce’s way expecting that cheating would result, which would make them feel guilty enough to try polyamory with him.
Which sure seems to be reaching pretty hard to make Joe look bad.
Throwatron
“Reaching pretty hard to make Joe look bad” has been a common pastime around here, for quite a long time.
thejeff
But so has waving away all the ways that Joe really was bad.
Whirlakitty
Yeah, I think the idea that Joe was hoping for cheating and guilt is silly.
Joe was just straight up thinking “It would be hot if my girlfriend had a girlfriend”. And I really, really, hope he doesn’t wind up getting what he wants.
Throwatron
He was thinking “Joyce seems to want this, and Joyce should have everything she wants, and me being a good boyfriend to her, means me doing anything and everything I can to make her comfortable, and get her anything that she wants.”
Thag Simmons
Yeah, probably for the best that Joe gets disabused of this notion.
Dot
Alright cool can we finally lay the “Joe and Joyce are definitely totally 100% broken up” arguments to rest now
Alongcameaspider
I still dont understand where that idea came from, its just not present in the text at all.
Joyce promised a conversation that has yet to be followed up on, a promise that we were reminded off just a bit ago.
Maybe that conversation ends with them officially broken up, maybe it ends with them agreeing to suggest it to Dorothy, we dont know yet
Thag Simmons
It would be rhetorically useful for the people claiming it if it were true.
clif
We saw Joyce break up with him. The fact that he didn’t break up with her, and that there are further conversations to be had, changes that not at all.
Jon
@Clif – We saw Joyce say she couldn’t date two people at a time because “I’m not a hussy!” Literally two panels later, in the same strip, “I… am a hussy.” That’s not breaking up, that’s coming to a realization.
Theozilla
I figured, which if this means Willis’ “cheating arc” still isn’t over yet, I wonder if the one who is going to be “cheated on” this arc is actually going to be Dorothy (i.e. Joyce ends up continuing her relationship with Joe without Dorothy being aware of it, at least for a bit).
Grimey
Joyce loves the idea of love so much that she literally could not stop herself where Joe AND Dorothy are concerned is…
…It kinda tracks?
RexLatro
“It’s her, she is the problem?”
clif
Dorothy is the one who gets to decide if it’s a problem.
Yotomoe
Or at the least the idea that any breakup is a totally mutually understood agreement betwixt the two individuals.
Which might create drama if Joe is assuming they’re still together and Joyce is assuming they’re broken up.
anonymsly
I honestly don’t think Joyce has thought enough about Joe to think of anything, but she DID look hella awkward when Dorothy said they’d broken up with their boyfriends. Joyce, at least at that point, still regarded her Joe breakup as a question mark.
Trying my best
This is why I am certain the relationship is more of an “It’s Complicated” than a “totally over.” Just from a storytelling perspective, why would Willis include that bit of Joyce being awkward WRT Joe being called her ex, if the narrative isn’t going to do something with that?
+
I’m excited for things to get messy!
Elf grrl
This all could’ve been resolved if Joyce actually HAD that conversation with Joe. But alas, we still have that science class to look forward to.
Bash
Thing is, she needs to talk to Dorothy first.
Victor Mortimer
Exactly. Gotta get Dorothy on board with the threeway.
Or at least on board with dating both of them.
No point in having a conversation with Joe until then.
StClair
No talk, only “bedtimes”.
clif
Well we know Joe doesn’t think they are broken up, contrary to what Joyce told him.
Adept
You just see what you want to see, huh?
Ray Radlein
A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest
GreyICE
I see reality is more of a suggestion for you.
zee
So why’d Joyce get so weird when dotty said they’d both broken up with their boyfriends then?
Dot
🙄
Throwatron
Joyce literally didn’t tell Joe at any point “I am breaking up with you.”
What she said was “I have to come break up with you.” This expresses Joyce’s underlying assumptions about relationships and monogamy, that come from her fundamentalist background. Joe then corrects her assumption, and makes it clear to her that he is perfectly comfortable being her #2 relationship, and that it’s still her choice whether or not she chooses to break up with him. The interaction then immediately ends, as Joyce realizes that her being outed on the front page of the sunday paper represents a huge threat to her sister, and rushes to go deal with that issue, leaving the conversation deliberately unresolved.
Joyce entered the conversation assuming she had no agency or choice over whether she was dumping Joe, because in her mind, monogamy is the default, and so for her to be a good person, she has to break it off with Joe, right now. Joe corrected her on this, because Joyce’s entire friend group is used to routinely helping her unpack her fundamentalist misconceptions and trauma. He then helps her realize that she does, in fact, have agency over this decision; but now, that means she has something to think about, in regards to whether or not she is going to break up with Joe, or not.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/comic/sundayedition/
The relevant sequence of strips starts right there, and continues for like 4 more strips. It’s really not a complicated nor nuanced series of events. And, we know Joyce hasn’t actually made a decision regarding this, yet, because she said so, to Joe, directly, right before she tried to talk to Dina.
So, Joe is not wrong to think that he isn’t “officially” broken up with, yet; but, he’s also smart enough to know, that he’s in an “it’s complicated” space, and that things are tenuous. Joyce also, clearly, does not think she is “officially” broken up with Joe, yet, which does mean she did Dorothy dirty by dumping her boy toy for her, despite not following through with actually leaving Joe, which Dorothy has clearly assumed, has already happened.
ResRam
C´mon, Walky is not a boy toy.
He´s a toy boy!
cue: *Why not both? Both is good!*-meme
Throwatron
Can’t reply to the post directly but “toy boy” made me snort out loud
ResRam
/Throwatron
Yeah, the thread depth is bad in this new script. It wasnt good before, but now its outright frustrating how many posts cannot be answered. Really slow, at least for me, too.
Aside from the 10-min edit window I dont see any upisdes to the change.
As for Walky – I couldnt resist – him throwing a toy at dotty as a courtship gift early on made the pun irresistible.
Miroku2235
Which I’m fairly certain means she’s cheating on Dorothy then, which makes sense considering her track record.
Astariel
How is she cheating on Dorothy? Since she and Joe supposedly didn’t break up, they haven’t fucked, or kissed, or gone on a date. They’ve barely even spoken, as people here have bongoed endlessly about. What has she done that qualifies as cheating?
Throwatron
The thing people are mad about, in this case, is that she has deliberately deceived Dorothy as to her current relationship status with Joe; Dorothy fully thinks that Joyce and her are exclusive, but technically – and the people who are persnickety about this, are very much details-oriented folks when it comes to the morality of relationships – Joyce has still not separated from Joe, despite Joyce actually forcing the issue to break up Dorothy and Walky. Dorothy was probably still about to break up with him anyway, but lying to your partner about whether you’re currently single, is generally considered a dick move, in dating culture.
thejeff
I do think it’s kind of lousy of her to not tell Dorothy if she’s really considering the poly idea. Not cheating really, but false pretenses. Understandable, because how do you have that conversation when you’re not even sure yourself yet? But still lousy.
And worse because she made sure Dorothy’d ditched Walky without know she was keeping her own options open.
Thing 2
Joyce went to break up with Joe and he causer her brain to overload with the sweetest, most thoughtful present ever, and Joyce gave Joe a blowjob.
thejeff
They’re in a quantum superimposed state of broken up and not broken up at the same time.
They’re definitely broken up in the “Joyce isn’t cheating on Joe” sense, which is how it sometimes gets brought up.
Astariel
All Joe says here is that he didn’t break up with Joyce, technically. And that’s true. She broke up with him.
Throwatron
The text supports the opposite of what you just said to be true.
John Campbell