Same here! I dunno if Danny got with Sal when he de-Danified himself, or getting with Sal de-Danified him, but he’s always got absolute precision wit when Sal is on screen.
And then Willis descends into the comments from on high, and offers Dot a dark bargain: “Sal and Danny shall never be broken up… so long as you never complain about Joyce and Dorothy again!”
my bold prediction is that at least some of the doyce haters are gonna flip REAL hard when the relationship gets outta its honeymoon phase, and the real simmering drama beneath their codependency starts to cause actual problems
it’s just…that should just take…five, six years, real time? Honeymoon phase is like 2-3 months IRL, right?
Corey C.
My bet is Valentine’s Day. Both Dotty and Joe make plans for Joyce and Joyce has to choose but can’t, leading to sitcom shenanigans where she runs from one date to the other, excusing herself each time, until both her paramours find out on their own about each other. Long shot, I know, but I can see Joyce putting off that chat with Joe until then.
here we see a genius play by danny, as he proceeds to launch a counter-insurgency campaign by donning his headpiece against sal’s approval, thereby adding excitement into their relationship once more
Random Post of Randomness: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms makes me Dumbing of Ages characters as Game of Thrones characters. They did a bunch of these for My Little Pony and other series I love. Amber would be Arya.
Am I the only one who absolutely hates this one? To me this feels very weird and hostile and–I hate to use a phrase 99% weaponized by bigots, but–like virtue signalling. I cannot buy that it is racist (or otherwise boundary-pushing) to give your girlfriend a gentle “are you sure you want to pass out without doing your hair care routine?” (or “…taking out your contacts” or “…setting an alarm” or whatever else). If you have that little ease and comfort with your partner you shouldn’t be with them.
As a person who is Weird Al Yankovic levels of white and nerdy, I seriously doubt I could offer a remotely informed opinion. I did’t even realize what they were talking about until the last panel. I thought they were just talking about Sal not washing her hair before bed or rebeling against conditioner or something.
…I didn’t know that washing your hair daily before bed was a thing.
zee
….w-who washes their hair before bed? Daily??? Do you just, enjoy the feeling of being cold and wet with a soaked pillow at night?? Please tell me people who do this at least use a hair drier. Bad for your hair but better for my mental state
Li
My partner is a night showerer, and it’s definitely a bit of a “how late can I shower while still leaving enough time before bed for my hair to dry” tango.
.
(It helps if you aren’t also, like me, a daily hair-washer, but most people shouldn’t be. I’m just at the perfect intersection of short hair, fine hair, and LOTS of hair (like the individual strands are fine but my scalp is dense with strands), so when I tried to hop on the no-shampoo band wagon it did not go well for me.
.
But I think p much everyone should at least try it if they can, to get a better sense of what their hair’s baseline is, an of course curly hair and textured hair especially benefits from dropping shampoo almost entirely in favor of conditioner.
.
I just happen to be the perfect storm, hair-wise, for which sulfate-containing shampoos actually work fine orz. My apologies to the rest of the populace for my outlier-who-should-not-have-been-counted hair.)
Auroki
You’re not even supposed to wash it daily if you want it to grow and stay healthy. Even daily washing can do some damage if you’re Not giving it time to breath and get natural nutrients to grow
Bout every other day or if it gets really dirty or overly greasy. (Current hair length is 3.5 ft haven’t had it cut for 15 years now)
Li
@Auroki: if this is directed at me, I promise my hair is in fact super healthy. Daily washing works great for me. As I said, I thought kind of at length heh, my hair is a weird outlier.
.
I also don’t want it to grow. I hate that it’s even shoulder-length right now and am intensely looking forward to the next time I can afford a haircut. 🙂 Bobs are about as much hair as I can stand haha and I love pixie cuts.
.
So I’m good! Those are useful tips for other people with hair that isn’t mine, though.
Maybe it isn’t a sweeping statement about all partners and more of just a specific communication in the couple.
Sal does not want Danny commenting on her hair. She can have a lot of reasons for this, including racial trauma. But it is a fine boundary to set and Danny heard it and took it fine.
I don’t think we need to form broad opinions about Danny, just that he acted in a way Sal didn’t like, Sal told him, and he respected that. To me this seems like pretty good communication.
This seems like entirely healthy and safe communication to me, honestly. Sal sets a boundary on commenting on her hair care, very possibly because she’s grown up with her mother constantly criticizing her hair texture and getting her to straighten it, and she’s still instinctively defending herself against criticism of her hair and what she chooses to do with it. And while Danny was only referring to her forgoing the bonnet that she’d been wearing earlier, he acknowledges that her right to a boundary immediately outweighs any need on his end to explain or defend himself or worse, argue with her about it. Plenty of people have some physical feature they’re sensitive about and it’s not a sign of an unhealthy relationship or lack or trust to not want someone you’ve been dating for few months, maybe half a year tops, to comment on that part of you unprompted – if anything, it’s more of a sign of trust to me that she said it without any assumption of ill will and he acknowledged it and dropped it without taking it personally. Sure, he makes a little follow-up joke to defuse the tension, but I don’t think that did any harm here. It avoid leaving them in an awkward silence. I really enjoy Sal and Danny as a couple – he seems to get her and her needs really well and doesn’t put his foot in his mouth nearly as often as he does on average.
Ornathe
(This is me totally agreeing with you, by the way – for some reason I can’t edit it, but just to clarify.)
I also like to think that Danny realized “hmm, as a white guy, maybe I *shouldn’t* be commenting on a Black woman’s hair, even from an informed place.”
Regardless, very touchy subject; he backed off when asked and will honor that in the future.
Kevin K
Honest question, why shouldn’t white men comment on black women’s hair specifically (other than the generic “people shouldn’t comment on other people’s body characteristics” taboo)? I’m not from the US so some finer points of your culture evade me.
Li
I mean. I would start by not assuming this is a US-only thing, people are definitely also weird about hair like Sal’s in other countries. Not even only white people!
.
And this is very much a… “not every white person goes around trying to touch textured hair without permission, but every person with textured hair has had a stranger try to touch their hair without permission” thing. Every person with textured hair has been told, over and over, that their hair is or must be dirty; has had it assumed that they must not be caring for it properly; has had hair-straightening and ~smoothing~ products suggested or even forced on them.
.
And that’s without even getting into Sal specifically, with the childhood we know she had? Her parents, who were supposed to love and at least TRY to protect her from this crap, both made it clear over and over for her entire life that the natural state of her hair was unacceptable.
.
We know Danny meant well, that he’s a good egg, but part of being a good egg is recognizing when you stepped on your partner’s metaphorical toe, backing off immediately, and apologizing.
Doopyboop
White people in general tend to be very ignorant of textured hair and how it is treated, maintained, and styled. White men “shouldn’t” comment because their comment is more likely than not to wind up being insulting via that ignorance. For example, I was at work and in a room with two coworkers; an older white woman and a black woman who was my age. White woman coworker asked the black coworker “Is that your real hair?”. Black coworker was, understandably, upset and told her “Never ask a black woman if her hair is real” before leaving the room. White coworker was VERY confused and disgruntled and I tried my best to explain that it’s a rude thing to ask. For example, would one go up to a white person and ask if their hair is real? And to explain as well, it isn’t BAD to be ignorant, asking questions in good faith is the way to learn. For example, when Sal had her bonnet on a commenter asked why she had a bonnet on and it was a respectfully asked question. Asking a black woman if her hair is real is rude because it operates on the immediate assumption that her hair is fake and puts that woman on the spot to explain whether her hair is real or not.
or maybe agreeing not to criticise your partner on something she’s asked you to drop is entirely reasonable and dan is just being virtuous, not “virtue signalling”.
In some fairness, actual virtue does look like virtue-signaling when one’s pre-formed belief is that the person being virtuous is a liar with ulterior motives and/or just interested in looking good. Virtue-signaling looking like actual virtue at least shallowly is the point of it, I think.
It feels hostile because she’s clearly working through some shit that she doesn’t want to talk about. It’s not racist for Danny to try to prod her a bit to get her to open up to him, but he touched on a sore point and she didn’t react well. It seems like Sal’s hair is related to a lot of past family trauma and it’s probably a tricky subject at the best of times.
Who the fuck said anything about that??? “You don’t get to say anything about my hair” isn’t calling Danny racist, are you okay? Sal’s just being a grump. It wasn’t even aggressive, it was as gentle as Danny’s comment about her not wearing her bonnet. I’m so deeply, genuinely confused as to how you found a way to be offended by this incredibly tame interaction. Are people just that sensitive to the idea of being called racist now? Y’all just making shit up now? Hallucinating?
To be fair, her own dad saying her hair looks nice makes her spiral a little, it’s clearly a deeply sore subject for her not even Danny’s corny earnestness can overcome.
I didn’t say anything like that, please don’t put words in my mouth, or imply them. I don’t enjoy being burnt as anybody’s strawman.
What I’m saying is I would not use those words, or take that tone with anybody important to me. If somebody talks to me like that, we have a problem. Hopefully one that can be talked about and sorted, but it’s not a healthy dynamic.
Throwatron
No offense, but maybe you feel the way you do, specifically because you’re sort of a sensitive and combative person? Just going off of every interaction I’ve ever seen you have in this chat. Other people just don’t take small interactions as seriously as you do, and that’s fine.
Odo
I think a worse relationship would be one where there tone and delivery always have to be perfect even when a person is hurting.
Sal didn’t say anything cruel. She just didn’t mince words. Danny poked a sore spot and she asserted a boundary forcefully. Maybe it wasn’t the gentlest, but people are human and sometimes their first focus is responding to pain rather than how to phrase something in the most delicate way possible.
Was Sal perfect? No. But Danny potentially being butthurt because the boundary wasn’t gentle enough seems like a lower priority than Sal feeling safe in her bodily autonomy.
And Danny wasn’t butthurt because he is a decent guy who is able to hear a boundary without taking it personally.
zee
@odo honestly? “You don’t get to talk about my hair” ain’t even forceful. That was extremely neutral. Like she didn’t dress it up with a please and thank you but fuck it id call it relatively gentle. Its a plain statement of “dont do that.” Nothing even remotely aggressive about it
zee
If you don’t wanna be treated like a straw man them stop talking like one, bc right now every time you speak I see hay flying from your mouth
Li
JSYK Zee, that last thing is gonna live rent-free in my head for months. Just, chef’s kiss as a visual.
118 thoughts on “Healthy bedtime”
Ray
Does she let him PLAY with her hair during post-sexytimes snuggles?
Stormtide Leviathan
Yes but only if she gets to be tsundere about it and act like she’s doing this solely for him and she doesn’t enjoy it
clif
I just assumed that she like to play with his hair afterwards, hence the strong NO.
EpochFlame
danny is behatted at bedtime
Steamweed
He also keeps his uke with him. To softly serenade her to sleep. She is very tsundere about it.
APW
I bet Joe is very tsun-tsun about it
Astariel
Apparently hair is still a sore spot for Sal
Dot
Willis if you ever break these two up I will riot.
Lumino
Same here! I dunno if Danny got with Sal when he de-Danified himself, or getting with Sal de-Danified him, but he’s always got absolute precision wit when Sal is on screen.
Alexander Krizak
And then Willis descends into the comments from on high, and offers Dot a dark bargain: “Sal and Danny shall never be broken up… so long as you never complain about Joyce and Dorothy again!”
Pocky
well shit; rip their romance I guess lol
Reltzik
DO NOT ENCOURAGE WILLIS.
clif
Really.
Aquila
Damn you at some yet to be determined point in the future, Willis!
zee
All the good couples shall be sacrificed on the altar of lukewarm yuri
Throwatron
my bold prediction is that at least some of the doyce haters are gonna flip REAL hard when the relationship gets outta its honeymoon phase, and the real simmering drama beneath their codependency starts to cause actual problems
it’s just…that should just take…five, six years, real time? Honeymoon phase is like 2-3 months IRL, right?
Corey C.
My bet is Valentine’s Day. Both Dotty and Joe make plans for Joyce and Joyce has to choose but can’t, leading to sitcom shenanigans where she runs from one date to the other, excusing herself each time, until both her paramours find out on their own about each other. Long shot, I know, but I can see Joyce putting off that chat with Joe until then.
So maybe five years from now?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
He hopes it will inflame her passion, like with Dina and Becky.
Dean
In that case, he would need to bring the ukelele as well.
Nono
Dina takes her hat off to enhance her sexual appeal.
Dan puts it on to…
Throwatron
gods help us if dina and danny ever switch hats
dgf
here we see a genius play by danny, as he proceeds to launch a counter-insurgency campaign by donning his headpiece against sal’s approval, thereby adding excitement into their relationship once more
Dave Van Domelen
It feels like half the cast is not sleeping in their own dorm rooms at this point.
Thag Simmons
I mean, that’s not necessarily inaccurate.
Alex Boston
I think Joe also pulled the one word “No” on Danny, about when Danny pulled out a banjo or something.
Alex Boston
Ukelele not banjo, sorry.
Alan in DC
Oh yeahyeahyeah! Give Danny a tenor banjo! Few instruments are as annoying as a tenor banjo when played loudly and badly.
CT Phipps
Random Post of Randomness: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms makes me Dumbing of Ages characters as Game of Thrones characters. They did a bunch of these for My Little Pony and other series I love. Amber would be Arya.
DEAD MEME
Take the hat off, white boy.
Jo_cubstar
I was half expecting the tag to say hat guy
Deanatay
Oh, look, it’s that guy with the hat. What was his name, again?
Morhek
Danny: What I’m trying to say is…you can leave your hat on.
Sal: Are you referencing a song?
Danny: Clearly one you haven’t heard.
Mr. Random
This ship is endgame until he and Joe hook up.
Throwatron
this ship is still endgame for me after he and joe hook up
Pocky
Sal coming to grips with losin her edge, while Danny is over here sanding off more lol
M!a
I WANT TO BRUSH EEEEEET 🥺
TrueSurvivor
How is Danny simultaniously seemingly the biggest poser and the most turly sencere member of the cast?
Lee
Am I the only one who absolutely hates this one? To me this feels very weird and hostile and–I hate to use a phrase 99% weaponized by bigots, but–like virtue signalling. I cannot buy that it is racist (or otherwise boundary-pushing) to give your girlfriend a gentle “are you sure you want to pass out without doing your hair care routine?” (or “…taking out your contacts” or “…setting an alarm” or whatever else). If you have that little ease and comfort with your partner you shouldn’t be with them.
TrueSurvivor
As a person who is Weird Al Yankovic levels of white and nerdy, I seriously doubt I could offer a remotely informed opinion. I did’t even realize what they were talking about until the last panel. I thought they were just talking about Sal not washing her hair before bed or rebeling against conditioner or something.
eh, whatever
…I didn’t know that washing your hair daily before bed was a thing.
zee
….w-who washes their hair before bed? Daily??? Do you just, enjoy the feeling of being cold and wet with a soaked pillow at night?? Please tell me people who do this at least use a hair drier. Bad for your hair but better for my mental state
Li
My partner is a night showerer, and it’s definitely a bit of a “how late can I shower while still leaving enough time before bed for my hair to dry” tango.
.
(It helps if you aren’t also, like me, a daily hair-washer, but most people shouldn’t be. I’m just at the perfect intersection of short hair, fine hair, and LOTS of hair (like the individual strands are fine but my scalp is dense with strands), so when I tried to hop on the no-shampoo band wagon it did not go well for me.
.
But I think p much everyone should at least try it if they can, to get a better sense of what their hair’s baseline is, an of course curly hair and textured hair especially benefits from dropping shampoo almost entirely in favor of conditioner.
.
I just happen to be the perfect storm, hair-wise, for which sulfate-containing shampoos actually work fine orz. My apologies to the rest of the populace for my outlier-who-should-not-have-been-counted hair.)
Auroki
You’re not even supposed to wash it daily if you want it to grow and stay healthy. Even daily washing can do some damage if you’re Not giving it time to breath and get natural nutrients to grow
Bout every other day or if it gets really dirty or overly greasy. (Current hair length is 3.5 ft haven’t had it cut for 15 years now)
Li
@Auroki: if this is directed at me, I promise my hair is in fact super healthy. Daily washing works great for me. As I said, I thought kind of at length heh, my hair is a weird outlier.
.
I also don’t want it to grow. I hate that it’s even shoulder-length right now and am intensely looking forward to the next time I can afford a haircut. 🙂 Bobs are about as much hair as I can stand haha and I love pixie cuts.
.
So I’m good! Those are useful tips for other people with hair that isn’t mine, though.
Odo
Maybe it isn’t a sweeping statement about all partners and more of just a specific communication in the couple.
Sal does not want Danny commenting on her hair. She can have a lot of reasons for this, including racial trauma. But it is a fine boundary to set and Danny heard it and took it fine.
I don’t think we need to form broad opinions about Danny, just that he acted in a way Sal didn’t like, Sal told him, and he respected that. To me this seems like pretty good communication.
Ornathe
This seems like entirely healthy and safe communication to me, honestly. Sal sets a boundary on commenting on her hair care, very possibly because she’s grown up with her mother constantly criticizing her hair texture and getting her to straighten it, and she’s still instinctively defending herself against criticism of her hair and what she chooses to do with it. And while Danny was only referring to her forgoing the bonnet that she’d been wearing earlier, he acknowledges that her right to a boundary immediately outweighs any need on his end to explain or defend himself or worse, argue with her about it. Plenty of people have some physical feature they’re sensitive about and it’s not a sign of an unhealthy relationship or lack or trust to not want someone you’ve been dating for few months, maybe half a year tops, to comment on that part of you unprompted – if anything, it’s more of a sign of trust to me that she said it without any assumption of ill will and he acknowledged it and dropped it without taking it personally. Sure, he makes a little follow-up joke to defuse the tension, but I don’t think that did any harm here. It avoid leaving them in an awkward silence. I really enjoy Sal and Danny as a couple – he seems to get her and her needs really well and doesn’t put his foot in his mouth nearly as often as he does on average.
Ornathe
(This is me totally agreeing with you, by the way – for some reason I can’t edit it, but just to clarify.)
albi
I also like to think that Danny realized “hmm, as a white guy, maybe I *shouldn’t* be commenting on a Black woman’s hair, even from an informed place.”
Regardless, very touchy subject; he backed off when asked and will honor that in the future.
Kevin K
Honest question, why shouldn’t white men comment on black women’s hair specifically (other than the generic “people shouldn’t comment on other people’s body characteristics” taboo)? I’m not from the US so some finer points of your culture evade me.
Li
I mean. I would start by not assuming this is a US-only thing, people are definitely also weird about hair like Sal’s in other countries. Not even only white people!
.
And this is very much a… “not every white person goes around trying to touch textured hair without permission, but every person with textured hair has had a stranger try to touch their hair without permission” thing. Every person with textured hair has been told, over and over, that their hair is or must be dirty; has had it assumed that they must not be caring for it properly; has had hair-straightening and ~smoothing~ products suggested or even forced on them.
.
And that’s without even getting into Sal specifically, with the childhood we know she had? Her parents, who were supposed to love and at least TRY to protect her from this crap, both made it clear over and over for her entire life that the natural state of her hair was unacceptable.
.
We know Danny meant well, that he’s a good egg, but part of being a good egg is recognizing when you stepped on your partner’s metaphorical toe, backing off immediately, and apologizing.
Doopyboop
White people in general tend to be very ignorant of textured hair and how it is treated, maintained, and styled. White men “shouldn’t” comment because their comment is more likely than not to wind up being insulting via that ignorance. For example, I was at work and in a room with two coworkers; an older white woman and a black woman who was my age. White woman coworker asked the black coworker “Is that your real hair?”. Black coworker was, understandably, upset and told her “Never ask a black woman if her hair is real” before leaving the room. White coworker was VERY confused and disgruntled and I tried my best to explain that it’s a rude thing to ask. For example, would one go up to a white person and ask if their hair is real? And to explain as well, it isn’t BAD to be ignorant, asking questions in good faith is the way to learn. For example, when Sal had her bonnet on a commenter asked why she had a bonnet on and it was a respectfully asked question. Asking a black woman if her hair is real is rude because it operates on the immediate assumption that her hair is fake and puts that woman on the spot to explain whether her hair is real or not.
Blakey
or maybe agreeing not to criticise your partner on something she’s asked you to drop is entirely reasonable and dan is just being virtuous, not “virtue signalling”.
anonymsly
In some fairness, actual virtue does look like virtue-signaling when one’s pre-formed belief is that the person being virtuous is a liar with ulterior motives and/or just interested in looking good. Virtue-signaling looking like actual virtue at least shallowly is the point of it, I think.
Bash
It feels hostile because she’s clearly working through some shit that she doesn’t want to talk about. It’s not racist for Danny to try to prod her a bit to get her to open up to him, but he touched on a sore point and she didn’t react well. It seems like Sal’s hair is related to a lot of past family trauma and it’s probably a tricky subject at the best of times.
zee
Who the fuck said anything about that??? “You don’t get to say anything about my hair” isn’t calling Danny racist, are you okay? Sal’s just being a grump. It wasn’t even aggressive, it was as gentle as Danny’s comment about her not wearing her bonnet. I’m so deeply, genuinely confused as to how you found a way to be offended by this incredibly tame interaction. Are people just that sensitive to the idea of being called racist now? Y’all just making shit up now? Hallucinating?
Taffy
Maybe you’d hate it less if you didn’t just make up problems that aren’t there.
HueSatLight
Not sure who you think Danny is signalling to.
IntangibleMatter
I’ve started wearing a bonnet to bed because I have curly hair and I can confirm that it really helps
Bill Erak
Hey, who is that gu- oh, hat guy!
Kyulen
Danny and Sal are good together. I hope we see more of them in the future, and that their relationship stays good.
StClair
I agree.
Adept
”You don’t get to talk about my hair”. Ok, this relationship is a lot less secure and functional than I thought.
furubatsu
To be fair, her own dad saying her hair looks nice makes her spiral a little, it’s clearly a deeply sore subject for her not even Danny’s corny earnestness can overcome.
YourCousinJay
You’re allowed to have things you’d rather not discuss with even your partner and I’m sure danny understands that.
To Sal her hair, and especially how she treats it, is a very sensitive subject
Adept
I didn’t say anything like that, please don’t put words in my mouth, or imply them. I don’t enjoy being burnt as anybody’s strawman.
What I’m saying is I would not use those words, or take that tone with anybody important to me. If somebody talks to me like that, we have a problem. Hopefully one that can be talked about and sorted, but it’s not a healthy dynamic.
Throwatron
No offense, but maybe you feel the way you do, specifically because you’re sort of a sensitive and combative person? Just going off of every interaction I’ve ever seen you have in this chat. Other people just don’t take small interactions as seriously as you do, and that’s fine.
Odo
I think a worse relationship would be one where there tone and delivery always have to be perfect even when a person is hurting.
Sal didn’t say anything cruel. She just didn’t mince words. Danny poked a sore spot and she asserted a boundary forcefully. Maybe it wasn’t the gentlest, but people are human and sometimes their first focus is responding to pain rather than how to phrase something in the most delicate way possible.
Was Sal perfect? No. But Danny potentially being butthurt because the boundary wasn’t gentle enough seems like a lower priority than Sal feeling safe in her bodily autonomy.
And Danny wasn’t butthurt because he is a decent guy who is able to hear a boundary without taking it personally.
zee
@odo honestly? “You don’t get to talk about my hair” ain’t even forceful. That was extremely neutral. Like she didn’t dress it up with a please and thank you but fuck it id call it relatively gentle. Its a plain statement of “dont do that.” Nothing even remotely aggressive about it
zee
If you don’t wanna be treated like a straw man them stop talking like one, bc right now every time you speak I see hay flying from your mouth
Li
JSYK Zee, that last thing is gonna live rent-free in my head for months. Just, chef’s kiss as a visual.
albi
one boundary or touchy subject = relationship in shambles /j
zee