Mike is a fucking puppetmaster.
Batman wishes his gambits were that awesome.
The JOKER wishes his gambits were that awesome!
Chuck Norris wears ‘Mike’ pajamas.
‘Mike’ pajama jeans.
‘Mike’ action jeans. http://www.denimology.com/2006/09/cn1.jpg
Just as planned.
We love you, Mike.
And I love your mom.
For a nickel.
Did you already know that was your icon, or happy coincidence?
By the by, i see this as an opportunity of growth for walky, and a much improved roommate for mike.
Bingo. Mike is “helping”, and gets to thoroughly enjoy being a dick about it.
Is he gonna cave?
The nose does not lie. I called it.
And the other shoe drops.
Well, of course he would throw salt into the wound. He is Mike.
Mike threw his Salt into your mom’s wound for a nickel…
I think that works.
I think the effect would have been better if Mike swiveled around in his chair as lightning struck.
Mike needs to grow a Lincoln style beard and sport a pair of orange glasses.
Also, that is an amazing gravatar, despite me not knowing who it is.
heh, and it’s a guy too XD
You have to admit, it’s incredibly colorful.
@Caffienated: So you knew that today’s grav was Ringo the crossdressing teacher from Uta No Prince-sama eh?
Damn. Thought it was Daphne.
AW YEAH! \m/
Thanks, it’s not often that I can such a warm colour scheme even with my default Spring Green backgrond.
It’s weird seeing Mike being played as a tough-love force for social development
Is that what’s happening? All I see is Mike being a tremendous asshole.
Actually, I think for a change, he may be doing this to help…I would explain my line of thinking here, but it gets kind of twisted, and I’m not really sure what to make of it; however, I believe in The Mike!
The “social development” here is Walky not wearing pajama jeans in public, and the quickest way to achieve that would be to not buy them for him in the first place.
Nah, this is an abusive prick exploiting someone’s failings to make them suffer – either because they’re an easy target, or so he can feel like the blame is theirs for having those socially unacceptable failings rather than his for bringing them up.
No. The development is Walky attaining some awareness that maybe pajama jeans aren’t all he really wants in life, and that maybe sometimes it’s worth compromising such things.
If he never had the PJs, he’d still worship the idea of them.
To go a step more, it’ll make walky realize not only the thing with the Pjeans, but that he puts too much stock in the tiny, wacky things, instead of whats really important.
Uh oh. That’s a fighting face.
or a crying face.
hateful teary face
or he’s slowly evolving into a wobbuffett.
That would seriously reduce his move pool.
But he’d be able to retaliate like none other.
Unless he goes against another wobbuffett.
Ah… Wobbuffet vs. Wobbuffet– not since the glory
that was Metapod vs. Metapod has a battle rocked
the Pokemon world to its very core!
What’s funny is that it used to be one of the most used pokes in competitive play during fourth gen. UBERS TIER with Arceus and Kyogre. It dropped in 5th gen but still
One does not know true pain until one switches Wobbuffet
into Wobbuffet and both pokemon use Encore.
That pink curtain behind Mike emphasizes his evilness.
That pink curtain behind Mike emphasizes his eventually becoming That Dude in the Suede.
Pink? Looks more like a pale violet to me.
Which would be called Mauve.
The tone seems paler, closer to being like a mauvette from what I can tell.
Sounds like boys trying to describe beef curtains to one another…
AKA Gateway To Her Guts.
That is the least appealing euphemism for female genitals that I’ve ever heard
@Hannover Fist: I borrowed that euphemism from a Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson song “You Cant Say Cunt In Canada”
Excerpt of the lyrics.
Now, you can’t say ‘cunt’ in Canada
Why wasn’t I surprised
When they said gash, pussy, poontang, beef curtain, burger, gateway to her guts
…Gateway to her guts? What was I smokin’ when I wrote that one?…
Split whisker, beaver, long-eye, front bum, growler, hairy lassoo
No, you can’t say ‘cunt’ in Canada
‘Cause ‘cunt’s’ considered pretty fuckin’ rude
Didn’t you hear? Pink is the colour of evil.
That right there deserves an uppercut.
I think the effect would have been better if Mike swiveled around in his chair as lightning struck.
Mike’s good, but his evil Weather Dominator is still in beta over at Cobra Command.
All he really needs is a thunder sound effect on his MP3 player and some loudspeakers.
I can feel your hate. It makes you strong.
So will Walky choose the girl or the pants?
He and Dorothy should just share pants.
“I’ll give up my pants if I can get in yours”.
That’s a classic PU line if I have heard one.
Can’t he pick both?
The choice is pretty goddamned obvious to me, really.
for real…them pants are way more important than some girl
Absolutely! I mean, PAJAMA JEANS!!! Right?
Solomon Grundy want pants too!!
So, that was Mike’s plan all along? Genius.
Yes, Mike is an evil genius….so smart and evil, I don’t know why he’s not the main villain of ALL comic books.
He is. He’s actually tricked them to think that they’re doing all the evil and he’s just giving the heroes the advice to make the villains lose.
Sounds like an inversion of the Batman Gambit.
Augh, TVTropes, my only weakness! Alongside bullets, blunt and sharp objects, electrocution, etc…okay not my only weakness, but there’s an hour I won’t get back. xD
Don’t forget – wooden stake through the heart – is a documented weakness of the Nosferatu and me as well for some reason ….. Do I get those extra power points to my build now?
I’ll bet Mike links to TVTropes.
It’d never work. Mike doesn’t want to rule the world or burn it, he just wants to laugh at it’s misfortune and/or do it’s mom.
Mike knows the Xanatos Roulette well.
Dude could be the new trope namer with just a little more work.
That is AMAZINGLY predictive dickishness.
Mike is Clairvoyant.
“You’ve got to be cruel to be kind, in the right measure…”
Follow the lyrics to their logical conclusion and we find… MIKE LOVES WALKY.
I ship it.
Does it date me when I say I only know those lyrics from 10 Things I Hate About You.
Only in that while that was also the first time I heard that song, their version is a cover of a song much older. XD
See, for me, it was all about Letters to Cleo from that film… Excuse me, I’m gonna go watch 10 Things I Hate About You
Okay, now *I* feel old since I don’t know the references you guys make AND I know the song from its original version. (Nick Lowe, 1979)
Oh, cry me a river.
It’s not my fault you’re even older than me, ya Old Fart!
MIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *pan out shot of the dorm* MIIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEE!!!!!
He tasks me! He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him round the Moons of Nibia, and round the Antares Maelstrom, and round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!
From hell’s dark heart I stab at thee!!
So, a question (possibly inspired by the beach banner above). If Walky eats Fifty. McNuggets. (and all the tacos), how does he look like he’s sculpted out of caramel? Crazy metabolism, perchance?
Those bastards exist. I’ve seen them.
My boyfriend comes to mind. Bastard.
My theory is tapeworms.
Explains his lack of allergies
I know a guy who can eat more than me, yet weighs around 100 lbs less.
My soon to be brother in law is like this.
I hate his guts.
Wow… Meet Mike, Evil Genius.
From the day Mike was leaning against the door frame and watching Mike and Joyce…….bam! Pj jeans. And I’m thinking Walky will stay sculped caramel on his eating diet …until he hits 30…instant caramel beach ball.
Mike, not only does he know just how the butterfly needs to flap its wings to make a tornado, he knows exactly when and where said tornado will hit. True evil genius.
Wow. Mike, as always, finds a way to take dickishness to new extremes.
Cause it’s so easy when you’re evil…
… he does it all for free.
Your tears are all the pay he’ll ever need.
You’re mom is so easy regardless of how evil mike is being to her.
Well played, Mike. Well played.
Mike is a machine. A beautiful, beautiful machine.
Wait, OK, everyone. Everyone who’s been commenting so far.
Is Mike either:
b/ just really insightful
d/ actually ignorant of what’s happened and would be saying the exact same things if Walky had come in looking chipper having not broken up with Dot
e/ the overseer of a campus-wide network of spies who tweet him up-to-the-second information on what’s going on in the semiprivate lives of all his acquaintances
Because unless he’s been watching through a telescope and listening with a gun mic from a window with an almost suspiciously convenient angle onto where the two of them had the argument, how is he to know they’ve broken up at the point which Walky comes into the room? He could be bummed out for all manner of other reasons, upto and including the corner store being out of his favourite flavour of cheez-its.
(yeah, double “ou” there, mofos)
He’s machiavellian, and quite possibly earth’s ultimate non-murderous jerk… but, clairvoyant? Nuhuh.
Mike does not need clarivoyance. One would assume he has a cell phone, we know he has Twitter, the breakup was public. Yea, I’m pretty sure he has the means to have the knowledge.
Presumably the whole reason he was so nice in buying Walky Pajama Jeans was that he knew
a. Walky would wear them in public
b. Dorothy would not stand for them.
on a sidenote, did he start helping Walky with the pajama jeans before or after Walky started hooking up with Dorothy? I can’t remember.
Mike bought the pj jeans on a Saturday. Walky and Dorothy hooked up the next day.
Even if Walky had not seen Dorothy at all, Mike would have said the same thing. The fact that nobody would think they are as awesome as Walky thought they would be means he would have been disappointed on some level, and that would have lead him to have a reaction to his statements. It’s called Xanatos Roulette because no matter how it lands, same outcome.
They are better then dating a control freak.
Exactly. If not pajama jeans. it’s going to be the wrong shirt, or taking the wrong class, or getting the wrong grade, or something. Walky’s always going to have to measure up to Dotty’s standards, and sooner or later, Mike won’t be around to embarrass her arrogant ass into relaxing them.
There are people’s Moms to do and puppies to be kicked, after all.
Whoa… does he… does he know? Does he know what he did? Does he have magic jerk powers, like original flavor mike? Is he just guessing? Or does he just have great timing?
The ‘forward buttons’ under the webcomic are broken for the last few pages.
Oh my God, he was planning the whole thing. Mike’s powers are truly already manifested in college.
I wounder if Mike is trying to manipulate poor Walky into going back to Dorothy, knowing fully well their relationship is doomed and this will only add to their combined misery.
I also hope Walky punches Mike out cold. ‘Cause it’s always awesome watching Mike get his.
I was wondering when someone was going to make a reference to that.
Based on recent comments, I now ship Mike and Billie. May they be forever miserable.
I don’t know. Billie can certainly be mean spirited but she doesn’t show the ability to long term plan and I think lacks the detachment to be a true schemer which would make them a better match. But if you’re talking short term fling where Mike rips her heart out at the end I can ship that…
Billie is shortsighted enough that she wouldn’t see it as scheming and thus would do everything Mike wants her to do without fail. Both would actually be happy, Billie because she feels she’s accepted by someone who isn’t bad looking and not realize that he is the cause of her misery, and Mike who can always have a sucker for his schemes and/or someone to make them happen for him.
Heheh, now I can see it…
I wounder if Mike will now move on to Ethan as his primary target?
Everyone is Mike’s primary target.
I have to admit, I did not see that coming.
You’re mom saw Mike coming for a nickel.
There could be a heartwarming TV series called something like “My Name is Mike.” Each week, he teaches someone the error of their ways through cruelty and manipulation. At the end of the episode, his target has a sudden flash of insight and rushes round to Mike’s place to thank him. Gushy music playing an’ all. To find… well, moms and nickels are involved.
Mike would be awesome as Dr. House.
What an appropriate Gravatar.
Mike plays the long game!
Mike’s like a self-help book written by Machiavelli. In arsehole form.
Will Walky learn the error of his ways?
Will Mike get a Beatin’?
Will She take Walky back?
Can I go on Forever?
These and other question might never be answered.
Back to you David
I am disappointed by the sudden change of my avatar.
Did this fix it?
Nice Batman Gambit/Xanatos Gambit combo there from Mike. Also nice to see that my personal suspicion that that ability had nothing to do with his powers in the other verse confirmed.
Is it bad of me to lol at this comic?… cuz I did.
REVELATION: the true purpose of Mike is to teach important life lessons through being an ass-hat.
I’ve said this about Shortpacked comics, but it gets me that Mike seems to have ZERO interests of his own. Everything he does is about other people. Either to hurt them or (very rarely) to help. But he never seems to do anything just for him.
Wow mike, your assholieness has once again given some a reality check
NAME — Get a Gravatar
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So.... Walky Performs A Sex
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