Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

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pretty sure 'your stupid overconfidence is nostalgic' is gonna be the title of book three
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

September 20, 2023

Alpha bitch

by David M Willis on June 13, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Answers in Hennessy

└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (153) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. piemanpie24
    piemanpie24
    June 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Depression musical chairs is much more fun than depression freeze tag.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Or especially Depression Red Rover.

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        June 13, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Red Rover, Red Rover… Aw who cares anymore. If you’re depressed just come over.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          everyone slowly meanders to the center and bump into each other sadly*

      • vanjealous
        vanjealous
        June 13, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        Or its variant: Depression 1-2-3 Red Light!

      • Usayasha
        Usayasha
        June 13, 2013 at 3:23 am | #

        Depression Naked Twister.
        Am I doing this right?

        • Kirt Dankmyer
          Kirt Dankmyer
          June 13, 2013 at 10:18 am | #

          This relationship is gong to be so hot once it finally gets off the ground from mere PSL to twoo love.

          • Volkai
            Volkai
            June 13, 2013 at 10:35 am | #

            No no no, it’s already ‘so hot’ in the PSL stage.

            When it hits ‘twue wuv’ it’s going to be cute as fuck.

        • Witch [Soul] of Heart
          Witch [Soul] of Heart
          February 2, 2014 at 3:35 am | #

          That exists where I come from.
          Actually, that’s a core Blackrom value where I come from.
          We ship THAT in canon.
          Let me tell you about Homestuck….

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 13, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Ruth’s been playing depression hide-and-seek, hasn’t she.

    • dropded
      dropded
      June 13, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Depression Risk is the worst. Nobody ever attacks so you just run out of pieces.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        June 13, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

        “And Alexander wept, for there was no more to conquer”. Channelling depression can make “I feel like nothing in the world cares whether I live or die” to “imma make everyone care” and “maybe another continent will make me happy.” Seriously, if he had gotten a nice good hug, (and not specially groomed as a war tactician) he probably would have been a decent guy.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 13, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      And have you ever played Depression Jenga. The pieces are all weighted down with emotional grief.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 13, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        Or Depression Roulette, the last game you will ever want to play.

        • xain
          xain
          June 13, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

          are we talking Roulette of the Russian variety

          • John
            John
            June 13, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

            With a semi-auto.

            • Mr. Random
              Mr. Random
              June 13, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

              Depression blackjack. Everyone counts cards, but no one cares if you break 21. Getting blackjack wins you another drink to drown your sorrows.

              • Draga Noche
                Draga Noche
                June 13, 2013 at 3:23 am | #

                Depression Monopoly, also known as regular monopoly

                • Andiemus
                  Andiemus
                  June 13, 2013 at 4:36 am | #

                  Depression Charades, where you just kind of gesture vaguely with your hands before ceasing to compete and succumbing to apathy.

                • Earlofthercs
                  Earlofthercs
                  June 13, 2013 at 6:25 am | #

                  Yes to this. So much yes. Sad now.

                • Doctor Mobius
                  Doctor Mobius
                  June 13, 2013 at 3:35 pm | #

                  I usually play Depression Flux, the depression with ever changing rules!

              • name
                name
                June 13, 2013 at 11:10 am | #

                In a casino, you’re already won free depression drinks just be entering.

                • lovesoutcast
                  lovesoutcast
                  June 14, 2013 at 8:47 am | #

                  don’t even get me started on depression hungry hungry hippos, a feudal attempt to feverishly binge down your grief

      • lokitsu
        lokitsu
        June 13, 2013 at 12:29 pm | #

        You deserve an internet.

    • MHBCrow
      MHBCrow
      June 13, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

      Ever play depression Apples to Apples?

      • Volkai
        Volkai
        June 13, 2013 at 10:36 am | #

        Wherein the Apples have all gone brown and mushy.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      June 13, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

      Or Depression Simon Says. (Simon Says “Lie down on the floor abjectly until you lose your job / flunk out of college.”)

      • John
        John
        June 13, 2013 at 3:01 am | #

        Simon says take another shot.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 13, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

          Cheer up….I didn’t say Simon Says.

    • Vabolo
      Vabolo
      June 13, 2013 at 4:25 am | #

      Depression Monopoly: everyone has fat stacks of cash, but the cost of everything is so high you still can’t afford anything!

      • Earlofthercs
        Earlofthercs
        June 13, 2013 at 6:27 am | #

        Monopoly Zimbabwe edition?

      • Makkabee
        Makkabee
        June 13, 2013 at 9:15 am | #

        That sounds like runaway inflation Monopoly.

    • nothri
      nothri
      June 13, 2013 at 6:04 pm | #

      Depression musical chairs really sucks. You have to keep playing until the economy turns around, at which point you scramble to sit down. Most people just stop playing after the first hour, though I hear rumors of some forlorn souls still dancing around the chairs to this day waiting for a recovery that just never comes.

    • Lauren
      Lauren
      September 2, 2013 at 8:01 pm | #

      Theres also bipolar redlight-greenlight

  2. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    June 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Depression musical Chairs!!! Count me in!

  3. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    June 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Which, dear Alt Text–“I’m an ALPHA bongo” or “I sneak friends into abortion clinics”?

    oh wait RUTH’S

  4. Jackson
    Jackson
    June 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    I think “Depression Musical Chairs” would make a better book title…

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      At the very least it’s more concise than the last two book titles have been.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      And, let’s be honest, lends itself to what could be a fantastic cover image.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        I imagine the music for depression musical chairs would either be a really slowed down version of a pop song or like….the theme from Platoon.

        • Thundercow
          Thundercow
          June 13, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

          Ooh ooh, or Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt.
          Also for future reference, the Platoon song is Adagio for Strings, by Samuel Barber.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          June 13, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

          Or the country version of Magic Carpet Ride. Or does only make ME depressed?

        • Notebooked
          Notebooked
          June 13, 2013 at 6:03 am | #

          The Funeral March plays for Depression Musical Chairs. Then there’s the hardcore version, Depression Musical Coffins.

        • Beige
          Beige
          June 13, 2013 at 6:37 am | #

          or Komm, Susser Tod – it’s got a good beat for musical chairs yet the song itself fits perfectly.

    • David
      David M Willis
      June 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Each book title is meant to be a quote spoken by a character on the front, and that’s more of a sentence fragment.

      • Boom
        Boom
        June 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        And the full sentence is so much better.

  5. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    June 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Sneaking friends into abortion clinics… Oh good times. Good times.

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    At least sneaking into an Abortion Clinic is better than sneaking behind the school shead and using a coathanger.

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    So THAT’s what Billie’s Superhero name’d be.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Alpha bongo sounds like a 90s Anti-Hero.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Or a kinky porn star.

        • Boom
          Boom
          June 13, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

          In the 90s Alpha bongo could be both.

          • nothri
            nothri
            June 13, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

            Every good secret identity needs a day job.

          • Andiemus
            Andiemus
            June 13, 2013 at 4:38 am | #

            See: Barb Wire.

  8. xain
    xain
    June 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    taking down abusive boyfriends ey Billie vs Mike may the ultimate battle begin

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 13, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

      She’ll kick his angry eyebrows off his face. XD

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        June 13, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        And they shall slam back down so hard, they’ll knock her to the floor.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          June 13, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

          But she will land gracefully, as she is a cheerleader.

  9. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Who better to look after your booze than Billie.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      of course. Any beer in Billie’s hands is immediately drunk. The bottle became empty the second Billie touched it.

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 13, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

        This sounds like the start of the shittiest chuck norris meme spinoff in the history of always.

        • Baroncognito
          Baroncognito
          June 13, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

          It can’t be, not so long as the original Chuck Norris meme exists.

      • Questionor
        Questionor
        June 13, 2013 at 1:51 am | #

        That’s ok as long as the beer doesn’t try to drive while drunk.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Yes, Queen Booze herself.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        It’s almost like a superpower but less socially acceptable.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        June 13, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

        Hey, removing the booze by drinking it yourself is a perfectly good way to keep someone from getting drunk!

        …As long as you don’t think of yourself as “someone”.

        Also, Queen Booze sounds like a supervillain.

        • RobHagen
          RobHagen
          June 13, 2013 at 5:46 pm | #

          I remember that sub-plot from the ‘Alpha bongo’ series in the late 90’s. She was always one step ahead of AB, who always just missed her escape from a crime scene. And then the writer dropped the bomb: Queen Booze WAS Alpha bongo, who was suffering a split personality syndrome after drinking some bad moonshine…

  10. Lanodantheon
    Lanodantheon
    June 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    I don’t know why, but for a moment, “Depression Musical Chairs” made me think of Glee instead of the kid’s game.

    I now have this image of a full-Musical version of the whole conversation.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      The difference between playing Depression Musical Chairs and watching Glee is that the former is more fun.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        One is Sad and awful, and the other is depressing musical chairs.

      • Breeze
        Breeze
        June 13, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

        I almost spat out my tea at that. Whenever my mother would watch Glee, I’d desperately wish my headphones were better at sound-canceling. Perhaps to the point of canceling out the show’s existence.

        • Makkabee
          Makkabee
          June 13, 2013 at 9:24 am | #

          On a very special episode of Glee, AutoTune becomes sentient and kills them all.

          *killer robot stalks through the halls, flicking reeds like shuriken and garotting glee clubbers with guitar strings*

          “I can kill you with one note.” *slices student open* “See? Sharp.”

          “I’ll be Bach.”

          • Notebooked
            Notebooked
            June 13, 2013 at 2:28 pm | #

            “Lizsten to me!”

            “[desperate students attempt to taze killer robot with no effect, slow grin spreads over his LED monitor] Don’t you know I’m a conductor?”

            “[students have just locked themselves in the gym hall, with tremendous banging and rattling coming from outside] It won’t work, kids! I’ve got every key!”

            • Makkabee
              Makkabee
              June 13, 2013 at 7:52 pm | #

              *killer robot drops piano on annoying whiny diva*

              “Be flat.”

  11. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    June 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Hm. Yep, that’d be a great title.

    Also nooo! the glasses are going back on! =P
    I am a fan of green-eyed Ruth.

    • Osaru Sensei
      Osaru Sensei
      June 13, 2013 at 1:57 am | #

      Agreed, Ruth needs contacts.

      This is totally the reverse of the trope The Glasses Gotta Go.

  12. xain
    xain
    June 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    because billie is going to need that drink to work up the courage to join her in the shower

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 13, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      …which at that point, Joyce will walk in and make another epic reaction face.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        And then finally give in to her urges.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 13, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          …and kisses Dotty, at which point Dina shows up…

          • xain
            xain
            June 13, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

            and just stares and asks if this is yet another female bonding ritual that she is unfamiliar with

            • DarkVeghetta
              DarkVeghetta
              June 21, 2015 at 4:57 am | #

              And KEEPS on staring since no one will answer her.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        June 13, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

        O_O

        I-I thought WE were shower buddies! *runs off crying*

    • nothri
      nothri
      June 13, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

      Oh, I swear, if you people with your idle mouths have jinxed this scenario into nonexistence I’m going to get so angry I mutate into a giant irradiated green monster that will rampage through all your homes in a fit of wrath. They will call the incident the Dumbing of RAGE, and Marvel will make a trilogy out of it starring three consecutively different actors to play me each time!

      ……I feel I’ve gotten off message…The message being SHHHHHH!!!!

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

        Well I’ll counter you by getting bitten by an arachnid and having three progressively worse received movies until I finally reboot and have powers closer to the story but will still receive mixed reviews.

        • Andiemus
          Andiemus
          June 13, 2013 at 4:40 am | #

          Largely based on the fact that as a protagonist you’ll be a whiny and simpering little twerp who has no place in superherodom.

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            June 13, 2013 at 11:25 am | #

            If that’s a dig against The Amazing Spider-Man movie specifically, I haven’t seen it myself, so I can’t say whether you’re right or not. But if you are complaining that Peter Parker is too whiny to be a superhero, I’m just going to leave this here, because it sums up my feelings on Spider-Man better than I can say myself: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2012/03/09/ask-chris-96-why-spider-man-is-the-best-character-ever-yes/

            • Andiemus
              Andiemus
              June 13, 2013 at 2:11 pm | #

              Batman’s the childlike one? Who’s the one who utterly fails as a superhero whose tagline is about responsibility to ever acknowledge the fact that his life as a superhero is going to get his life as a civilian destroyed? Who’s the one who is so completely stuck in his childhood that he made a deal with freakin Satan to sacrifice the only adult thing about him in exchange for an already-dying mother figure? I know One More Day is kind of a cheap shot, but it really represents everything wrong about Spider-Man as a character.

            • nothri
              nothri
              June 13, 2013 at 4:08 pm | #

              I tend to agree with Linkara on this one- Spiderman constantly screws up and endangers the lives of everyone he cares about and never learns to take real responsibility for his actions despite what he preaches. This isn’t the fault of Peter Parker as such. Rather everyone who writes for Spiderman wants to reuse the same themes and lessons for the character over and over, so instead of decent character growth and development what we get is a cycle in which Peter learns a valuable lesson, forgets what he learned for the sake of the plot, has everything blow up in his face due to him forgetting, someone he cares about likely gets hurt or dies, he feels anguished, vows to be more responsible in the future, and forgets about his vows for the sake of the plot.

  13. John
    John
    June 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    “I love you, man.”

    “You’re still not getting my generic marked-with-Xes booze.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 13, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      I would say that it was a XXXX beer but the label colour is wrong.

  14. doodlebug
    doodlebug
    June 13, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    I love Billie’s face in the second panel. She’s so perfectly, determinedly earnest.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 13, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      I like it too. I’m-a have to ask Willis to make this a thing so we can add all sorts of cool dialougue to it.

      • doodlebug
        doodlebug
        June 13, 2013 at 9:42 pm | #

        “I have a dream, that one day all of the booze-lovers and sober bongoes alike will walk hand-in-hand like nobody gives a damn.”

  15. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    June 13, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    I knew it! Billie’s a troper!

    She’s nerdier than she’ll admit.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 13, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      But the term was fairly popular long before TVTropes was a thing.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        And it’ll be popular long after TVTropes is dead.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 13, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

          TVTropes die? That will be the day.

          • Boom
            Boom
            June 13, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

            The last one, to be exact.

            • Mr. Random
              Mr. Random
              June 13, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

              It did die. The thing is, it came back to life. Like Mike.

              • Somebody
                Somebody
                June 13, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

                You mean when Fast Eddie took out all the sexual tropes? Because I don’t remember the site going all the way off.

                • Wack'd
                  Wack'd
                  June 13, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

                  He put them back, though!

                • Somebody
                  Somebody
                  June 13, 2013 at 10:08 pm | #

                  See? Complaining DOES work sometimes.

  16. Stara
    Stara
    June 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    Oh, how I love Billie. She’s imperfect, messed up, but trying to have a good heart. 😀 Great for Ruth.

  17. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    June 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    That’s the national past time of Finland.

    • Boom
      Boom
      June 13, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Shush! They’ll hear you! And then murder us all!

    • Breeze
      Breeze
      June 13, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

      I thought the past time was making metal music, their top export.

      • Platinakettu
        Platinakettu
        June 13, 2013 at 1:48 am | #

        Sauna might top everything as our national past time.

  18. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    June 13, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    I was gonna get snippy and be all “Ey, Billie, where were you when Joyce was mere seconds from rape?” Because she should’ve detected that sorta thing.

    But then I decided to double check the archives and reminded myself that Billie wasn’t exactly holding herself responsible for Joyce, left her with Dorothy in that regard, and when they did find Joyce Billie at least studied the crime scene.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/allergies/

    So yes, Billie is the Alpha bongo, and I need to thank my brain for double-checking before I wrote something stupid and got flack for it from all parties.

    • Boom
      Boom
      June 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

      Research!

      • Osaru Sensei
        Osaru Sensei
        June 13, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

        SCIENCE!

  19. Cumberbatch
    Cumberbatch
    June 13, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    Looking at the poster on the wall, it’s no wonder Ruth is depressed and drinking. She’s a Leafs fan!

  20. Leonou
    Leonou
    June 13, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    Seriously, Biillie keeps getting better and better! She’s awesome !

  21. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    June 13, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

    Come on Billie, make like a cheerleader and high kick her problems away.

  22. Aras Pabedinskas
    Aras Pabedinskas
    June 13, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

    Oh I’m sure it’ll be depression keep away with the Maple Leafs being a factor. HAY OH!

  23. Drazisil
    Drazisil
    June 13, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

    I’m liking Billie.

  24. Somebody
    Somebody
    June 13, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

    Can she get contacts instead? I like her green eyes.

  25. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 13, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

    Billie, I’ve always liked you. And now, my like for you is justified beyond, “She’s hot and is deeper than she first appears.”

  26. Ashley
    Ashley
    June 13, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

    No place safer than another person’s liver.
    Good thinking there, Billie.

  27. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 13, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    Also, I think that Ruth’s last line seems to be more appropriate for the title of the book, given what we’ve seen so far.

  28. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    June 13, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

    And I would welcome that title, Willis!

  29. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    June 13, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

    Depression Musical Chairs and the theme from ‘MASH’ Suicide is Painless.
    Through early morning fog I see
    visions of the things to be
    the pains that are withheld for me
    I realize and I can see…
    [REFRAIN]:
    that suicide is painless
    it brings on many changes
    and I can take or leave it if I please.
    I try to find a way to make
    all our little joys relate
    without that ever-present hate
    but now I know that it’s too late, and…
    [REFRAIN]
    The game of life is hard to play
    I’m gonna lose it anyway
    The losing card I’ll someday lay
    so this is all I have to say.
    [REFRAIN]
    The only way to win is cheat
    And lay it down before I’m beat
    and to another give my seat
    for that’s the only painless feat.
    [REFRAIN]
    The sword of time will pierce our skins
    It doesn’t hurt when it begins
    But as it works its way on in
    The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…
    [REFRAIN]
    A brave man once requested me
    to answer questions that are key
    is it to be or not to be
    and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’
    [REFRAIN]
    ‘Cause suicide is painless
    it brings on many changes
    and I can take or leave it if I please.
    …and you can do the same thing if you please.

  30. Davriel
    Davriel
    June 13, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

    …you rock, billie

  31. Count Dracula
    Count Dracula
    June 13, 2013 at 2:17 am | #

    …she wants Ruth to wear her glasses in the shower?

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      June 13, 2013 at 2:23 am | #

      She wants Ruth to make it to the shower without walking into a doorframe.

      • John
        John
        June 13, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

        Given how much Ruth’s drunk, I don’t know how much the glasses will help.

  32. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    June 13, 2013 at 3:45 am | #

    Again, Billie’s centerfold figure ^_^ in panel 3

  33. Platinakettu
    Platinakettu
    June 13, 2013 at 6:20 am | #

    Good work Billie. Assist Ruth in taking her live back and heal her. And when Ruth is feelign better she can heal you back.

  34. Platinakettu
    Platinakettu
    June 13, 2013 at 6:27 am | #

    Also in a comedic twist; when Billie guides Ruth to the showers they continue their discussion and say something that can be misinterpeted.
    This will of course be overheard (unbeknowst by our duo) by Walky or Joyce. Who will then assume that Ruth and Billie are an couple and spread this “misconception” around.

    This will then leave our dynamic duo to wonder why everyone is assuming that they are a couple, even when they are not yet an couple.

  35. Beige
    Beige
    June 13, 2013 at 6:33 am | #

    ah, billy, your comment to joyce that everyone tries bisexuality in college is going to bite you in the as soon 😉

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 13, 2013 at 9:06 am | #

      No, pretty sure Ruth’s gonna be doing that.

    • John
      John
      June 13, 2013 at 11:23 am | #

      Maybe I’m just stereotyping cheerleaders, but I’m far from convinced that Billie waited for college to try it.

      She’s tried to hit on Sal twice now (and I don’t even know what was going on between them at the beach, but I can’t dismiss the idea that Billie was trying to keep Sal’s hotness for herself), is totally comfortable with recommending lesbian sex as a solution to Sarah’s interpersonal problems, tells Joyce that bicuriosity is something everyone does, and her first reaction to Ruth kissing her was to kiss back. And her issue with that has never been, “Ew, my lips touched girl lips!” but, “Man, Ruth needs to stop being such a psycho punchmonger.”

      I wonder if it’d be a worthy Willisesque twist if it turned out that Billie was banging half the squad back in high school, and part of the reason Ruth’s been so weird about this whole thing is that she’s never had these kinds of feelings for a girl before. Everyone seems to be assuming that it’s the other way around…

  36. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    June 13, 2013 at 6:36 am | #

    I like this part of Billie showing up again. She’s very thoughtful when she wants to be/is in a position to be, as she’s shown previously with Joyce.

  37. TJ Baltimore
    TJ Baltimore
    June 13, 2013 at 7:12 am | #

    Billie is Alpha bongo . . . and maybe Alpha bongo coule be AmaziGirl? So . . . then Billie is AmaziGirl . . . and is dedicated to figuring out who AmaziGirl is . . . so Billie is Sybil (and/or possibly Sally Field)? I’m so confused . . .

    Or maybe Alpha bongo should be AmaziGirl’s arch-nemesis. Every superhero needs one.

    • xain
      xain
      June 13, 2013 at 8:40 am | #

      nah if anything the Alpha-bongo is an Anti-Hero

    • Throng
      Throng
      June 13, 2013 at 9:26 am | #

      If I follow Marvel right, Alpha bongo would be the Canadian government’s attempt to field its own AmaziGirl. 😉

  38. Foxhack
    Foxhack
    June 13, 2013 at 9:06 am | #

    Take it away for safekeeping
    Get caught in the next strip with the bottle
    Get in trouble.

    • John
      John
      June 13, 2013 at 10:55 am | #

      Yeah, Billie’s gotta watch out. The RA might bust her.

  39. Ivresse
    Ivresse
    June 13, 2013 at 9:19 am | #

    Wait, Billie wants Ruth to put on her glasses before going into the shower?

  40. Colineo
    Colineo
    June 13, 2013 at 10:50 am | #

    Wait. Let’s look at Ruth’s interaction with Billy:

    1) Identified student (S’) most likely to be a potential problem in a dry dorm.
    2) Studied S’s records to identify strengths and weaknesses.
    3) Established self as alpha female in dorm.
    4) Engaged S’ to demonstrate dominance.
    5) Took prized possession from S’, baiting retaliation.
    5) Left signs of vulnerability (call, alcohol), leading S’ to believe she had a trump card.
    7) Used booze and apparent stalemate as grounds for budding companionship, obvious favoritism towards S’.
    8) Made sudden, aggressive romantic advance on S’. S’, thoroughly confused, reacts angrily, tempted to old habits.
    10) Avoids further interaction, but leaves signs of distress.
    11) S’ driven to investigate, sees respected and feared peer in ruins due to S’s own preferred vice.
    12) Alcohol usage now tied to sense of shame and concern for sympathetic S’. S’ inspired to drink responsibly, if not seeking sobriety.
    13) Potential threat to dorm integrity converted to dependable ally. S’ Neutralized.

    Well played, Ruth.

  41. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    June 13, 2013 at 11:20 am | #

    Aw.

    I didn’t want this sweet story arc to end. I hope it continues…

  42. slicey
    slicey
    June 13, 2013 at 12:33 pm | #

    am i the only one concerned that she told her to put on her glasses then shower?

    because showering in glasses not smart…

    • HK-A6A7
      HK-A6A7
      June 13, 2013 at 1:26 pm | #

      At least is better than showering over glasses.

    • Ivresse
      Ivresse
      June 13, 2013 at 1:26 pm | #

      Scroll up a bit 🙂

  43. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 13, 2013 at 1:43 pm | #

    Yeah, it’s gonna be tough to top that one.

    … Still not as excellent a phrase as “the cragged shame-pits of the lustwolves”, though. That one’s SPECIAL.

  44. Kitty
    Kitty
    June 13, 2013 at 1:56 pm | #

    I was depressed so I started abusing depressants…it seemed like a good idea at the time?

  45. Okami
    Okami
    June 13, 2013 at 3:54 pm | #

    I at first started reading Ruth’s response in penal 3 as “your overconfidence is your greatest weakness”.

    But I see Ruth as more of an Empire Strikes Back type.

  46. nothri
    nothri
    June 13, 2013 at 4:19 pm | #

    Ruth doesn’t need to worry about the alcohol. If Billie drinks it, Ruth can still get a decent contact high. Just needs to attach her lips firmly and apply enough suction to get the full effect.

    • Animal
      Animal
      June 13, 2013 at 8:37 pm | #

      Attach her lips where, precisely?

  47. Animal
    Animal
    June 13, 2013 at 4:50 pm | #

    My Dad used to tell me about playing Depression Musical Chairs during the actual Depression. You know, the Great Depression, which wasn’t so much great as a huge steaming pile of suck.

    The way he told it, they only had a three-legged stool and couldn’t afford music, so the game was over pretty quickly.

    Or is Ruth talking about something else?

  48. Jay
    Jay
    June 13, 2013 at 8:54 pm | #

    Alpha bongo, defender of the drunk and helpless (and knocked up)! xD

  49. Jenny Creed
    Jenny Creed
    June 13, 2013 at 11:56 pm | #

    You say “alpha bongo”, I say “good person”.

    Really I find it weird you’d need some edgy title for that. Makes those sound like controversial things to do. Like I’m not complaining about you preventing rapists or anything but castrating them might be more in the line of pushing the envelope.

  50. Gargamel
    Gargamel
    June 15, 2013 at 4:55 pm | #

    Lex Luthor thinks he’s trying to solve a problem to.

Who's that guy over there?

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