or, does Jacob realize he’s giving her permission to ogle or what
Super true! If he scolded her he’d be a hippocrite
Does he realize he just gave Ethan permission to “enjoy” his?
…. no, I’m pretty sure that’s not what she’s staring at.
Yeah, I think those would be the things slightly bulging under his shirt.
You know, a billion is 1/3rd of all the dicks there are!!
What do you mean? There can’t possibly be that many people named Richard on the planet!
aw, so sweet.
man I think SOMEBODY’S fit to burst & it ain’t joyce
Well…it’s ALSO Joyce. Joyce adjacent, if you will.
Sarah will keep your advice in mind, Jacob.
She will keep your butt in mind too.
Sarah shares your philosophy, Jacob.
And butts disease claims another victim.
It’s like Butts Disease is an STD or something… 😀
Except it kinda isn’t, since both Joyce and Sarah both have it, and neither if them are getting any.
Perhaps it’s an anti-STD? Only cure is to have sex.
I think that would just enflame it.
SSI. Sexually Satiated Infection.
Or not having sex is what causes it. (Subtle but important distinction.)
Yeah, and Willis’s is flaring up.
This isn’t Butt’s disease. Its something far more serious.
as far as potential pandemics go I could really get behind butt disease
Just going to say it, He looks like a fish, just with his eyes, lips, he just looks like a fish.
THEY’RE ONTO YOU, JACOB. Swim! Swim for your life!
Lord Dagon fails to see a problem with this.
Neither does Ul’Thax
pleaaase let us get an anti-joyce moment! but in all seriousness, I feel joyce is strong, but there is evidence to prove that she is breaking down a bit since she came to college. It’s not as extreme as it was at first , so I won’t say shes a time bomb just yet but…damn that fuse is loooooong
I guess christian thing-a-ma-bobs work on vampirism and butts-disease.
WILLIS, PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN
Oh dear. Well, at least now she has permission to stare deeply into the limpid pools of his buttcrack. That’s sexy talk, right?
If you have pools of buttcrack then something is clearly wrong.
That very phrase is wrong (yet funny).
That’s a lot of dicks!
No worse than sucking 37 dicks.
…in a row?!
Seconds off. You win this round.
Don’t feel bad about it, you weren’t even supposed to be here today :3
In a row?
Yeah, once you suck that 37th one in a row, you might as well just keep going to a billion.
Each additional dick from that point on becomes redundant.
Does sucking the same one twice count as one or two?
One. It’s a billion dicks, not a billion suckings.
Thirty-seven? That’s almost four tens!
And that’s terrible.
The more the merrier!
I’m kinda relieved to see that this didn’t just spin off into a “mock Joyce and how ‘absurd’ everything she believes is” type of a thing. They’re both genuinely concerned about her, and it just makes them that much more … accessible … as characters?
I’m glad too. Last week was… uncomfortable.
I would have been surprised if it did spin off into that type of thing. It was very clearly a one-strip gag. It seems to me that people were overreacting to the fun-poking.
YEAH. MAKING FUN OF WILLIS’ CHARACTERS IS MY JOB.
I’m pretty sure it’s Willis’s job. We pay him for it and everything.
I get paid in the tears of every child.
That explains the buckets next to my hamster wheels-based generator.
Why mock Joyce when we not only have butts disease but also the sucking of a billion dicks?
Preach it, sir
In all seriousness, Joyce is probably going to end up fine. No wind wiping in this universe
I must patent this new invention!
Are you tired of wiping the old-fashioned way? Do you not want to pay for a butler to wipe you, or the electricity to power an electronic butt wiper?
Call now, and you can have our patented wind wiping system for only 1799.99!!!
No! You must keep the Anti-Joyce at bay!
The way she eventually beat anti-Joyce is by kind of letting go of her inhibitions, so…
Yes, this is what she should do. Excellent point.
Coming soon to Slipshine: “Joyce Snaps and Sucks Like a Billion Dicks”
The Suckulant Saga.
I just wanna draw an endless line of people waiting for their respective Dick Sucking.
Number 1 Billion and 1 is gonna be dissapointed.,
“Like” a billion suggests there is some flexibility to the arrangement.
And that way she can put up a sign like McDonalds; “Over a Billion Served”
I pictured something more like that home run conga line in “Baseball Bugs.”
I saw something more like This
No don’t taunt me with this idea. I have a perverse sexual lust for Joyce.
Do you think you’re the only one ? Get in line man.
… though I prefer the Walkyverse Joyce to the DOA one.
Aw, I was coming here just to post that very idea. Nicely done. I was gonna go with “Joyce Performs a Suck a Billion Dicks” but yours is better in its simplicity.
Remember yesterday when I said Sarah was being a dick? (Probably not). But still, she’s much better here. Maybe judging behavior one strip at a time isn’t healthy, since there’s only about three sentences out of a lifetime of sentences per strip.
Sarah is a dick. Joyce should suck her!
I believe there’s already been art in that area.
Rule 34 man. At least as fast as it was posted to this thread, but as was said probably pre-existing.
It’s also worth noting that Sarah didn’t insult Joyce herself at all last strip.
Jacob did, so if anyone was the dick, it was him.
On the flip side, Jacob probably doesn’t know Joyce as well as Sarah. Not saying that takes off the blame, but it can definitely factor in that he hasn’t seen as much of her good side as Sarah.
This is a good point. I was also getting a bad vibe from the last strip…still kinda am? (Not that I think it was badly written, just that it makes me nervous for Joyce and Sarah’s relationship, which seems to be getting some attention in this storyline.). But this strip definitely comes off as less dire.
My question is, why only sucking? There are many other avenues she could choose from to partake in these dicks, some of which would allow her to still suck the dicks.
Baby steps. First sucking, fully clothed. Then topless, then nude.
Next you got anal sex, since that keeps her pure. You gotta put a ring on her finger to get to use the front hole.
Lube and technique with the emphasis on taking it slowly. Peruse the archives of “Oh Joy Sex Toy” by Erica Moen.
I love that webcomic. Everyone should read it.
Sarah then turns Vermillion and REAL curses over her breath.
Petition to have “A Human Being Should Be Able to Enjoy Butts Without Shame” as the next book title, Willis?
Seconded. I’d buy that.
Below would be better if it was Amazi-Girl Sucks A Billion Dicks! Amazing!”
That would sell more, but take a lot more time even if you’re cutting & pasting!
Possibly, but I was really hoping to use an Amazi-Girl quote for Book 4.
Write a strip where Amazi-Girl says “A Human Being Should Be Able to Enjoy Butts Without Shame”. Best of both worlds. You’re kind of omnipotent in this scenario, Willis. They are but puppets dancing on your strings, making drama happen at your merest whim, never knowing that their free will is a sham.
They are butt puppets?
I can picture a few characters saying this… Joe, Sal, Roz… Walky? Maybe Ruth and Billie and even Sierra.
Dina would do something similar to what she did on the pin-up week in tumblr.
But it could become an “inside meme” of sorts and Amazi-Girl could just continue it, I guess.
You know I have to admit that I don’t think “an Amazi-Girl quote” would be a good book 4 title. Sorry, sorry, had to say it.
Maybe “Quoth Amazi-Girl”.
Why just humans? Was it not Optimus Prime who said, “Butts are the right of all sentient beings”?
… it wasn’t? oh. never mind.
Petition to get Optimus to say that in the next Transformers movie!
… What? It’s not like it’d be THAT much out of place.
That does sound like something I would say…
Give me butts or give me death.
If someone has taken away your butt, there is a strong possibility of dying anyway, so that’s handy.
That was a joke about people getting their butts ripped off. Please do not think I am making fun of amputees or something, I know this comment section too well to fall into that trap.
Taking away someone’s butt is probably where flying dookie-makers come from, so there is a strong possibility of at least wishing for death.
Snap outta it! Curse that butt! That glorious, beautiful, sculpted…
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
No HANKY PANKIES!!
*Looks at Gravatars*
I find myself wishing that you’d said purrfect instead.
For some reason, Woolie from Two Best Friends Play’s voice popped into my head as I read Jacob’s line about sucking a billion dicks
A human being should be able to enjoy Marvel Vs Capcom without shame.
Please tell me that Willis is four shadowing that ethan will breakup with Joyce and then she’ll go crazy and try to force herself on him, that would to much for me to handle while I laugh my ass off
That’d also be pretty date-rape-y and I that seems like a no-no for Willis.
Rite, I dont know why I thought female on male rape would be funny, but yet whats said is I can still see this happening
Sad….sad little me
You think it’s funny because you assume women are ‘naturally’ adverse to sex to begin with, are generally incapable of violence, and wouldn’t view forcing sexual contact on another person as the taking of power and the debasement of the victim that it truly is. You are also probably of the mindset that a man, a REAL man, could not be raped… especially not by a woman, and any that are would be weak little ‘pussies’ for not being able to easily fend off unwanted female advances, or they secretly wanted and just ‘regretted’ sticking it in them afterwards.
I suppose in the context of ANY of those being even remotely true, and not based stereotype and general fantasy, it possibly could be funny… However, since none of that is except in the minds of asshats like ‘Brian’ (I think that was the character’s name… He’s the guy who got face-glassed and then beaten with a bat for trying to rape Joyce), whom I’m hoping Willis expands on later as being kidnapped by DoA’s version of Jigsaw and getting mutilated to death, or eaten by fireants. I’m not picky.
But the point I’m trying to make here is what you said is pretty fucked up and no, it wasn’t funny in the least bit, and you should seriously consider why you thought it was to begin with.
I hate to always be on the bad side of these arguments, but I don’t believe in the notion of shaming someone for their sense of humor. Most humor is based not on how they think things should be, but by an almost uncontrollable notion of something which someone finds absurd, silly, or otherwise.
I don’t want to hurt people, kill them, fart on them, sneeze in their food, Drop Anvils on them, or otherwise demoralize them, but I also have a dark sense of humor.
Saying something “isn’t funny” is a matter of perspective. There is no law to declare what is funny and what isn’t. Only what is just and what isn’t. And it’s a thin line when it comes to humor what is awful to find humorous or entertaining and what is offensive. Just because you don’t have a dark sense of humor doesn’t mean you should make an otherwise kind person to feel bad about it. (not that I know if newllend is a nice person, but They like Luffy so they can’t be all bad.)
I’m curious as to why humor is something people cannot be shamed for? Like out of all the things we judge people for, why shouldn’t humor be included? What someone finds appropriate to laugh at can actually be very revealing.
Yes. Humor may be subjective, but it is not always justified.
I honestly think it’s kind of rude to judge a person on a few choice things they say in the first place.
Well, I think it’s rude to make rape jokes? I’m not saying this person is horrible, but they did say something horrible (which they seem to have realized). Should people just ignore it when someone says something harmful?
Not at all. But I don’t think a person should be made to feel bad for something like that. But that also goes to say that I don’t find what he said “Horrible” just bad.
And I’m gonna go ahead and say that rape jokes are significantly different than jokes about farting, sneezing in someone’s food, and cartoonish violence. In fact, rape jokes are significantly different than jokes about murder. Survivors are actively shamed and silenced by the world around us, and sexual violence is incredibly common. ‘Rape jokes’ use this pain as a punch line, and contribute to the callous and indifferent treatment of survivors.
I do think Rape jokes are pretty rude to tell in polite company unless you are very aware of your audience. Personally, not a fan. But hey. I can’t bear to make anyone feel like less of a person. It hurts my heart.
Agreed, and it’s not all that easy to know your audience on a comment thread like this.
In what company is it polite to trigger people?
I’d guess in the company of people you know you won’t trigger. (Read: Not the internet, and not around most normal people)
I feel pretty comfortable with calling a rape joke of that nature horrible. I don’t see how a joke that mocks sexual assault isn’t horrible?
I don’t understand why you’re so motivated to defend a joke about rape, particular when the person who said it has apologized??
look I’m sorry ok, for pissing you off and anybody else I might of upset , I regretted posting that the minute after I put it on there, its not funny not at all and I’m an insensitive ass thinking it was at the moment,but thats wasn’t my mind at all, you dont need to take my apologie but I’m going to admit plain and simple that was a mistake.
why are you hoping joyce will sexually assault somebody
and why are you hoping i write it
Some questions really aren’t meant to be answered.
I dont know man, you ever thought up some dark humor and then look back on it and thought “no thats too much”
i think i understand not specifically in relation to dark humor. Usually with me its either sexual innuendo and stopping myself and saying aloud “yeah not gonna say that one” or plotting the despair and demise on my fellow human being at which point I almost always think ” this is a d-bag idea and I’m not Mike so no”
Those awkward momments when a thought seemed good when it came to mind.
I dunno, three shadowing, maybe.
Not funny, asshole.
I christen this ship the S.S. Butts
Fake curses are fun to say, though.
Flargensnitchzel! I was a foiled by those bang-a-rang rapscallions for the third ditzy time this week!
It’s only a curse if it has even remotely crude conotations
EVERYTHING can have crude connotations. If you know what I mean…
No but seriously god damn does Jake have the hots for Amber, like, pretty much a billion hots
Who is Jake? And what does Amber have to do with anything here?
There is a Jake in the other ‘verse, but even then he only shows up in like 10 strips.
‘Jake’ is one way to shorten ‘Jacob.’
As for the Amber thing, I have no earthly idea. Did I miss something?
Damn you Willis! Stop being relevant to my life.
*plays ZZ Top’s “Tush” on the Muzak*
Oh by the way ,”I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE ~You other brothers can’t denie
Verily, Super Duper does delight in toothsome rumps of appreciable volume! Prevaricate he surely cannot!
Hark! You other figurative male siblings are utterly incapable of any form of denial, oh doltish dullards!
For, when a winsome wench does perambulate forth before you besporting not merely a midriff of exceedingly miniscule dimensions, but also flaunting an entity Callipygian of overwhelmingly orbiculate character before your very face, then soon bekindled unto your loins is a raging inferno of direst arousal!
For, luckiest of mortals, you have borne awestruck witness to the incontrovertible fact that the well-upholstered rump in question was bounteously plethoric and chockiblockily surifeted! (Or in words other, stuffed.)
The blazing-eyed devilgoat finds himself ensnared within the denimy depths of wenchly tight-clinging pantaloons!
Of course, we all know who a sexually unhinged Joyce would give oral to, and it’s not men.
that was implied
It could have been someone else like…………damn I’m stupid of course its Dorothy
There is evidence supporting her going the Billie route also.
Sal. With her FACE MOTORCYCLE!
Damn, I meant to write “We’ve seen just as much evidence for it being Sal”, but then I thought of the joke and forgot to make the first part, or any part of it, for that matter, make sense.
Butts without Shame is going to be my new charitable foundation.
I have found my purpose in life.
And may I suggest meeting behind the meeting of the local bicycle club for “scenery”. Butts in spandex for easy viewing, and most of them 9 or better quality.
What Jacob is saying I can definitely relate to. College is for being crazy and checking out new things. I can say regrettably I missed the boat on that one.
Apparently Jacob will have an easy time being a lawyer if his ass is that fantastic. He’ll just need to keep up his gym membership and master the art of the power-twerk.
Depends which side he’s on. “We’re sorry, Your Honor. We’re unable to determine beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty. The prosecution’s posterior was just too distracting.”
“Enjoying butts is the right of all sentient beings.”
….what if your sentient race doesn’t have a butt? What then?
Clearly Jacob is implying that he, too, should be allowed to look at butts without shame.
Like Ethan’s, right?
Actually, Jacob is probably the only one Ethan hangs out with who hasn’t caught on that he’s gay, right?
Possibly, but to be fair top Jacob, the girlfriend probably threw him off.
…. how do we know he hasn’t caught on? Am I forgetting a comic?
Well, that will be fun… If that bridge is ever crossed.
There are a few little things, like him not minding working out nearly naked in their shared room, which implies either a very big level of comfort around a gay guy or he doesn’t know, but I’d say a more telling comic might be:
If Jacob knew Ethan was gay he’d probably have caught on that Sarah knew.
In fifteen years, Joyce will be drawing internet porn.
15 meaning 500 years, amiright?
Well, 500 years realtime.
The comic will be written by David Willis’ uploaded robot brain and/or ghost.
No, Willis will become an undead husk fueled entirely by feels.
Given current timeflow ratios, I estimate Joyce’s first porn will be coming out around 2800 C.E.
I can wait.
Yeah, but Jacob, you can’t just go around staring at butts. Then you’ll just look creepy.
Sarah about to get Ethan’d
It seems that everyone in this universe has butts disease.
Except Joe, who seems to be all about the rack.
More about the all-in package.
Thinking Jacob may need to buy Sarah really dark glasses to get an eye to eye conversation with her
Agree 100%. Everybody needs to have the right to enjoy looking at butts.
I’m more of a breast man myself, but I’ll stand with my fellow humans to defend their right to buttobserve.
Unless you’re an ass about it. (pun inevitable)
Ughghh, yet another case of technology being far, far too fast for the law. Something that is clearly wrong is not illegal by virtue of “we haven’t updated the law to include that technology yet.”
Same kinds of things have been happening with internet uploads of videos, email privacy, regulation of ISP service, etc, etc, etc…
Read this case from the BBC a few days ago and thew up a little. Between that, wars, and the blatant lies of international politics, reading the news is going to give me an aneurysm someday.
I think it’s less about the technology than the fact that it’s taken this long for the skeeviness of humanity to become this bold and overt. While perhaps a bit less convenient, snapping covert upskirt photos has been possible for at least forty years.
That said, I can forgive the court for being a bit slow to act on this one, because how in the hell do you write a law that illegalizes the photography of strangers’ panties in a country where miniskirts are legal and people sit down now and then? You could break the law, repeatedly, by taking pictures of your kid in the public park when some lady is sitting on a park bench in the background. Have fun proving your innocence of that one.
I just love these two a lot. And their love for butts.
Words to live by.
“Butt butt butt butt butt. Butt butt butt butt? Butt butt butt butt. But Butt butt butt butt?”
-Arin Hanson, 2014.
One *billion* dicks!
Doctor Evil: “One *billion* dicks!”
Go on brother, preach the Word !
Jacob should meet Joe and Roz, they’d become great friends.
Must… resist… urge to look for R34 of Joyce sucking a billion dicks… >.<
If a million dicks fucked a million butts for a million years, would it be the blurst of times?
Thats aint his butt
Seriously, staring at his junk and drifting off in the middle of a conversation? Really Sarah?
I think we have a new student for Amber’s ‘social skills’ class.
Is this the basis for their friendship, ‘expressing concern’ for Joyce? Not much hope for anything deep or meaningful there unless this interaction branches out real quick in subsequent strips…
This is pretty much the first real conversation they’ve had, and they’ve been at it for like three minutes. I can forgive them for not having run through the length and breadth of conversation topics.
Don’t you know that all deep and meaningful relationships are established within the first two minutes of conversation? They’re already a minute overdue!
As a lapsed Catholic, the scroll over text made me smile. That is a very helpful go-to shame reflex.
the basic right to enjoy butts without same if a basic right america was based on …. wait it wasn’t? huh …I am officially annexing my property from the united states to create BUTTOPIA!!!
BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTSBUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS
The Repressions would have been a great name for an R&B/Soul harmony group.
Well, if they didn’t mumble all their lyrics.
MY BUTT IS DOWN HERE, SARAH.
“A Million Dicks” will be Dave’s next pay project. And that will not be bad thing.
sorry, “A *Billion* Dicks”.
<a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bukkake" title=I like Bukkake.
OK, I make a hash out of the link. Here is is clean.
…it doesn’t SOUND clean to me.
I think I like being Sarah’s thoughts. It’s kind fun!
Talking about someone we both know is definitely one of the easiest way to break the ice when trying to have a discussion with someone you don’t know too well.
I do it all the time.
It’s not always a good thing though…
Hearing other people talk about Joyce like this is shockingly refreshing.
I can’t choose between “One day she’s gonna snap and suck a billion dicks” or “A human being should be allowed to enjoy butts without shame” as my favourite lines.
“One day she’s gonna snap and suck a billion dicks”
I think we have the title for Book 4.
He only has one eyebrow in panel four @-@
“A human being should be allowed to enjoy butts without shame.”
I need this on a t shirt.
And on a pair of boxer briefs.
I’ve been wondering if Jacob has a sex addiction in this universe. This strip seems to tell me “Yeah, he might have, but no, he probably doesn’t, as far as you know”.
Sexologist’s view of sex addiction:http://www.savagelovecast.com/ Episode 385, about 20 minutes in tithe micro version.
“The repressions” is a really great way to put it.
Where pressions? Therepressions!
Crush!Sarah is so cute. 😀
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Do you feel a growing sense of dread?
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