Today Ruth begins a multi-part appearance over at Woody After Hours, a webcomic where webcomic characters show up as guests in a talk show. Woody After Hours is written by fellow Columbus, Ohio, native Ben Carter and illustrated by Paul Westover. In today’s installment, there’s a few other Dumbing of Age appearances besides Ruth…
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“It’s a brick, and I’m running slowly…”
It’s a brick and he’s gettin’ nowhere…
It’s not a GMC he’s dying for…
I can’t help but feel this is just a set-up for a <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrickJoke" title="brick joke"…
dangit…
:-\
… that’s it… I quit.
I sense a supervillain origin…
CINDERBLOCK, THE MAN WITH NO TOES
*enter Lucy from the Shortpacked universe*
“Actually, Cinderblock was already a villain in the Teen Titans animated series from the 2000s. He worked for Slade and with Plasmus, and in the season 2 finale Slade and Terra fused him with Plasmus and Overload and he fought the Titans which allowed Terra to escape although Beast Boy went after her because he loves her and she went to the dark side and Terra is one of my favorite characters from the series and you wanna read my fanfic?”
Cyndablock is also a superHERO in the Empowered universe. He is made of Cinderblocks and can communicate with concrete, which will animate and attack his foes (but he doesn’t like to use that power very much, because awakened concrete takes awhile to become passive again, and tends to become “playful” around motorists on the freeway.
(Empowered is awesome, by the way. It looked like it was gonna be a fetish magazine/parody of a fetish magazine, but its kinda branched out into a unique kind of cape-verse I’m enjoying immensely. By which I mean to say “plug plug…plug plug plug….plug plug plug plug plug. PLUG! Plug plug.”)
It’s on my to-read list. Unfortunately, said list has become longer than some of its listed titles…
It’s spelled ‘Syndablokk’
And yes, Empowered is super awesome.
Yay another Empowered fan!
Yay, another Empowered fan.
Depends, is your fanfic a reasonable one? I’ve read some pretty *DESTURBING* stuff. And that’s an understatement.
Mecha-Toe, don’t let him kick your shins.
I think you mean the man with no…
Tags!
*Amazigirl themesong begins playing*
Nanananana~Bat- (I mean ) Amazi-girl, Amazi-girl !
Which, if there is any justice in the world, will be sung to the tune of the Darkwing Duck opener.
(And yes, I am baiting the more creative among you to do that. See this gauntlet? Well, BAM! Now that shit is on the ground! Who’s gonna pick it up?)
Daring dame of geekery
Hot chick wearing tights
Stalks the IU campus
Giving bad guys frights
Her dad thinks she’s a wimp
So she gave heroing a whirl
Here comes-
Amazi-Girl!
When there’s villainy you call AG!
Amazi-Girl!
“Let’s get Danny-gerous.”
Dicks on doors and she appears
With azure mask-ed eyes
Who’s the troubled girl behind
That not-so-great disguise
A few people know for sure
And discuss it in metaphors
They talk about…
Amazi-Girl!
When there’s villainy, you call AG!
Amazi-Girl!
“Let’s get Danny-gerous”
Amazi-Girl!
Better watch out, Blaine, you asshole
Amazi-Girl!
I expect an audio recording of this by the end of the week. You guys are awesome.
I would legit pay money on iTunes to hear this recording. I would also ACCEPT money for helping to write it. CAPITALISM!
Someone needs to find a Singer for this because this is awesome.
No mention of her being immune to criticism?? To shame
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
Suit of yellow
Cape of blue
She’ll be coming
After you
If you’re guilty
Done something bad
Or if you happen to be
Her abusive douchebag dad
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
God forbid
You stand in her way
When she’s havin a
Particularly bad day
Like when her ex-boyfriend
Gives her emotional distress
Or she sees the person who held
Her best friend under duress (with a knife)
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
AMAAAAAAZI-GIIIIIIIIIRL!!!
How about this for a THEME SONG?
This needs to be set to the same tune as “Shirtless Girl”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dDloNrIubU
I find this highly offensive, and funny. It can be both.
I read that as threeway for a moment.
…that isn’t Becky at all.
(I kid, Amazi-girl is great. 🙂 )
Or is it?!
…oh, hi Not Becky. I suppose I can enjoy this comic anyway…
WAIT – I SEE ALMOST HALF OF BECKY’S HEAD IN THE WOODY AFTER HOURS COMIC – ALL IS NOT LOST!!!
We will never be without Becky, as long as we keep her in our hearts. (She’s just crashing there until she gets her own place.)
I know, who thought I’d ever be disappointed to see Amazi-Girl.
There are easier ways to break into a car, ya know guy?
Yeah, use ninja rocks (illegal in most states)
Why on earth would Ninja Rick be illegal? He knows the (ex) president.
Oh, that’s what he’s doin’ with the cinderblock?
I honestly had no idea what he was doing.
Yeah, he’s trying to “get it through the window,” so unless the window’s open…
To be fair, he’s doing it *very* badly.
This guy is the most incompetent vandal ever. Amazi-girl’s picking the low hanging fruit here, I gotta say.
For every Green Goblin, there needs to be a Paste Pot Pete. In this case, it’s Vandal Cinderblock.
Actually, for every Green Goblin, there are about 40-50 Paste Pot Petes. Much of being a superhero is doing the cop’s job for them.
I’m actually very impressed with his way of doing things. It takes a very special level of complete dumbass to drag a cinder block all the way from God knows how far away to a car you want to steal, instead of just, like, grabbing a particularly big rock from nearby to chuck at the window.
Maybe it isn’t theft, but just heaving a brick through a window to be a douche. It has been known.
I thought he was trying to steal the cinderblock from a construction site or something. My mind comes to weird conclusions.
No, no,that’s what I thought too. Brains are weird.
That’s the last time I lock MY keys in the car.
Call the cops. They have a slim jim.
I used to lock my keys in the car about once a month. Especially when I was in college.
Or it could be just plain vandalism, like the asshole who threw a kid’s tricycle up against the windshield of my van one night.
Ummmm… anyone else think that’s a look you give someone right before you start flirting with them?
Beating people up is a type of flirting, right?
Eeyup.
If you know the right places, yes. Otherwise it’s just kinda an asshole move.
Mike would be into that.
He’s far from the only one.
According to Batman it is.
Tinfoil hat prediction of the day: Danny becomes an ersatz Catwoman to Amazigirl’s Batman. Roof shenanigans occur.
Except for AG being loyal to Danny now…
Only to the sort of people who ship arch-rivals because they mistake any and all strong emotions, conflicting emotions, etc, for “secret true love”. To them, the more two characters hate each other, the more they’re actually soulmates or some crap.
This is AMBER we’re talking about. So yes.
Witty banter is exactly like flirting in every way except for the amount of sex that usually follows.
In that case Spiderman is the biggest flirt ever. And I think we’re all okay with that.
Besides, spiderman is the supehero with the most girlfriends. So yeah, lotta flirting there lol
She’s going to cheat on Dan with HIM???
No, HIM is scheduled for a beatdown from the PowerPuff Girls tonight. She’s intimidating some untagged schmuck.
Welllllll, for a certain value of “flirting.” I remember seeing panel 3 on Tumblr and thinking this was Amazi-Girl saying hey to Danny. Still, you’re not entirely wrong: this is how a thoroughly satisfied, physically and otherwise, version of Amazi-Girl greets her prey.
Amber’s got… issues.
But Amaziegirl is immune to criticism, to it evens out.
Dude, she’s got a subscription to Issues Daily.
Rachel, what are you doing? Get up there and help fight Cinderblock!
Sorry, I’m busy with Overload. Besides, Koriand’r and Dick have him. You go back to helping Victor take Plasmus.
It does kinda look that way. I don’t know maybe Amazi-Girl is flirting with Justice.
It’s the look that she’s giving someone right before she thwarts them.
Hopefully that’s not some dude locked out of his own truck and being stupid about dealing with it…
Amazi-Girl’s got such a cute smile when she’s about to serve justice upon the petty criminal masses.
Cinderblock guy is really just a shoddy knockoff Catwoman.
…I mean, this was supposed to refer to the above flirting comment but meh, it works here too.
I do love a good vindictive smirk.
Don’t you mean criminal asses.
Masses of asses are grass… es.
I think it turns out this guy is doing this for a very specific reason, and not actually to break into the car to steal anything.
Haha, I like it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir-y6-L6Vlk
The smart thing would have been to smash the brick in half and use the half brick to break the window…DUUUUR! 😛
Still no dice, even with a hammer it is almost impossible to break a car window… and a half brick would have less inertia behind it.
…”almost impossible?” What kind of cars have you been fiddling with? I want one!
Mythbusters have shown us that a spring-loaded center punch, available in any hardware store, can be used to break a car window. But I doubt that this guy is much of a forward planner.
It’s probably really hard to get a safe grip on a cinderblock too – as this guy is showing. At least a hammer is designed to hold and swing and easily put the most force in one spot. As soon as you swung a smaller, swingable brick and hit the window, you still might get abrasions all over your hand from the grip you had on it. And fail to break the window anyway.
Yeah… he should have worn gloves. And ninja rocks shatter it like glass :p
(See what I did there?)
I agree, the first thing that came to my mind was “Why the hell
isn’t he trying to use a pipe or something, there’s no way a
cinderblock will break the glass of a car window.” My second
thought was, “Wow, this guy is incredibly weak” like I mentioned
in my post below.
There are hammers designed to be carried in a shirt pocket to break out windshields in one hit. I’m not allowed to have one of those since the driver’s side mirror incident with the pickup truck, because it would be too much of a temptation . (The incident I refer to was a driver passing on the right in the same lane as I was preparing to make a left turn on a 2 lane road. The Ford F-150 was too wide to get between me signalling with my hand above the yellow stripes and the curb and knocked the driver’s side mirror off on my elbow, which MIGHT have been thrown out a little bit to “encourage” the driver to move away from my body with the 4500 pound (+/-) truck. Regardless, if the driver was passing so close that I could knock the mirror off with my elbow that pass was made too close, and was illegal in the state of TX (you can pass a bicycle in the same lane so long as you pass on the left).
Been there, done that myself, Opus. Just remember what the bumper stickers say:
“When hammers are outlawed, only outlaws will have hammers.”
That kind of idiocy would leave everyone with thor feelings.
I dunno, I broke my driver’s side window a few months ago by hitting it with a tree. It was pretty easy.
in Woody after hours, I like how Billie is pretending to be partying with the rest of them
Oh hey, my Avater changed.
Trying to fake partying, by her expression.
Awkward Billie is best Billie.
It’s great, because she wants to be hip and party and booze out, but she’s actually kind of lonely and not entirely sure about supporting the reason for this party, but also doesn’t want to let anyone know about that. Her awkward expression and all that context fit perfectly.
I’m betting on no.
I bet he’s going to drop it on his toes, trapping him in place.
I’m sure that would be his first thought if he did that.
I think that’s why he wants to set it down.
I love Billie’s nervous “do I look cheerful enough that Ruth is gone” face in that comic.
Billie?? But she isn’t in this episode.
Read the newspost!
Ah. Much obliged.
Er… Which page are you referring to?
This one.
Argh, curse my weak HTML.
http://woodyafterhours.com/comic/girls-just-wanna-have-fun/
Paste it into your browser yourself, I ain’t your mama.
It manifested as a link anyway, but I already caught it from the newspost after Carrie pointed it out above.
Man, where’d she come from?
Like Sal, AG’s basically Batman
But without the budget to afford those marvellous toys.
Dude, what if, like, Sal and Amazigirl teamed up in a crazy twist of events? Of course I get more of a Wolverine vibe from Sal–skirting the line between hero/antihero, but that would be amazing if that happened. Looking forward to that plotline in about 2 years from now.
Haven’t they done a Batman/Wolverine crossover before?
Yep.
http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Claw
That’s not a cinderblock he found around. That’s his own personal cinder block. He carried it from home.
And he’s just trying to use it to get into his car, but he seems to be having a bit of trouble maybe you could like help him out…no ? Ya I didn’t think so
Car burglar :you know I would find this extremely seductive if it weren’t for the fact I know what’s going to happen next.
No, he’s another vigilante — a mild-mannered cyclist who in times of crisis becomes “VeloMan”. He just hasn’t decided on his costume yet.
And he’s about to serve some justice on this car for parking in the bike lane.
But he’s not in the bike lane, the car is parked next to a door zone bike lane. You know the freaking useless ones that require a cyclist to ride a foot to the left of the stripe to avoid getting killed or maimed if someone opens their driver’s side door without looking. About 40-50 cyclists get killed that way every year in the US (hard to tell because not every LEO reports door prizes as traffic wrecks, until recently many reported this as “bicycle strikes parked car”)
A possible nickname for the ‘bike lane’ could be ‘b lane’
‘B lane’=’Blaine’.
I’m not sure where I was going with this, but it was important!
Except the car is clearly parked next to the bike lane, as it should be.
He’s going to run away and hide in a bar and Sal is in the bar and she and Amber met again?
That storyline title.
/heavy breathing
Gay guy threesome please.
Danny/Amber/Ethan? Or Danny/Amber/AmaziGirl?
Or could the title simply refer to Joyce’s dorm room getting an extra occupant?
All of the above.
THREESOMES FOR EVERYONE!
Danny/Amber/AmazieGirl? Titled Mask or No Mask.
…Wait, that’s been done
Ethan, Danny and Amber/AG?
Stranger things have happened?
Yes, not only has the Amazi-Girl/Danny/Amber three-way been done, if you pay to read the uncensored version on Slipshine, some things were sort of resolved. I don’t think that relationship is a threesome anymore. But Amber/Danny/Ethan, on the other hand…
If it were any guy other than Ethan, she might be able to deal with it.
I’m pretty sure that Amber would be down with Ethan/Danny as long as she gets to watch, and preferably play too.
Me: Dear Santa, I’ve been very* nice this year. Can I please, please PLEASE have a slipshine subscription?
Santa: You already got a Becky. Don’t be greedy.
Me: Fair enough.
*) You know, kinda
Good things come in threes…but DoA may prove that old chestnut wrong.
I think a better response from Amazi-Girl might have been something like “Please, do”.
Re: Woody After Hours
So… is it canon?
Probably not due to the forth wall stuff.
Too bad, that dorm party looks awesome. Even Mary’s having fun.
Which is a bad sign, but…
Which fourth wall stuff is that, then? I’ve never read Woody After Hours before, but I’ve been doing so now, and the only fourth wall breaking I’ve seen so far is a congratulatory 100th strip. I see no reason this couldn’t be canon.
Only real problem is why is Ruth suddenly over six hundred miles away from school, and why she agreed to be a guest on this show. (As for why she would have been asked, thus far this show’s standard for guests seems to be, “Whoever is a warm body who doesn’t say no.”)
let’s talk about how amazi-girl is nowhere to be seen in panel one and yet sits so comfortably on top of the car by panel three. she’s either a ninja, able to stop time, or a cat 😛 also, the car is in a disabled space, is it blaine’s car?
destroy this comment, i just realized that is not a handicapped space but a cycling way probably
The car doesn’t appear to be in any parking space–it looks to me like it parked in a lane where people would otherwise be driving.
It’s a “parking lane”.
They’re doing it a lot around where I live right now to promote bicycle-friendliness… Turning a street with two-lanes in each direction into one-lane with a “bicycle lane” and sometimes the “parking lane”, depending on whether parking was allowed on the street prior to the restructuring.
“let’s talk about how amazi-girl is nowhere to be seen in panel one and yet sits so comfortably on top of the car by panel three. she’s either a ninja, able to stop time, or a cat 😛 “
Amazi-Girl has been taking lessons from Dina.
Well Dina is her roommate…
One of these days Amber will seriously Injure someone. Maybe give someone a limp for the rest of their life or worse.she’ll feel guilty about the whole thing, and that’s when she’ll learn about The Ethan and Danny thing.
Eventually her father will either regain conciousness or die. Either way, she will be in signigicant trouble–he knows it was her that beat him up, and even if he dies before he can talk, there were witnesses to the incident. Plus, killing her dad would really mess her up no matter how bad he was, don’t you think?
Possibly. I can see her being unsettled by NOT feeling remorse for ending the bastard.
I don’t know man. My grandfather died before I was born, but from what I hear he was a real bastard. An abusive alcoholic who spent decades terrorizing his whole family. Most of my Family say they hated him,but on some level they still loved him.The hate outweighed the love but it was still there. There were plenty of times they could’ve killed him in self-defense, he was not a strong man. I get the impression they should have killed him.I think anyone who would kill their father would feel remorse, no matter how justified. It’s just The way humans are.
I hadn’t considered that. Didn’t someone say he’d be too ashamed to admit his own daughter beat him up? At the time I thought it was just a way to get him out of the story. But bringing him back makes a lot of sense.
Her dad has already regained consciousness, but claimed that he had been assaulted by a large male, presumably because he didn’t want to look like a wuss for getting beaten up by his short daughter, he didn’t want to turn in his daughter, or both.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/oldfashioned/
But even though Amber dodged that bullet, if she keeps going like this, it’s only a matter of time before she runs into legal issues or does something else she’ll regret and feel guilty for forever.
He has no idea it was Amber, if he did he’d be using it to control her.
I find it unlikely that he didn’t recognize her or make the connection.
BTW, has anyone addressed the issue of Amber’s glasses? Are they null-prescription, or is Amazi-Girl stumbling around with uncorrected vision? Popping in contacts would make the change slower, and they’re not something you want in your eyes in a fight or “action scene”.
Amazi-Girl has a prescription mask that everyone just assumes is for eye protection in a fight.
Bac to business as usual, this one.
AG’s last line though? Totally makes me think of the old Tootsie Pop commercials with Mr. Owl. How many roundhouse kicks does it take to knock out a loser? LET’S FIND OUT
One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seve… ooops looks like he was out at one
Love AG. Screwed up as she is, she is out there taking chances.
Does Amber has vandal-sense or something? How does she know when & where vandalism is about to happen?
It kinda seems like the guy had already been making a buncha noise by missing the window and bashing the side of the car with that cinder block, so she might have just been wandering about and heard him. As for any other vandals, I have no idea! She just has a knack for being in the right place at the right time! Or the wrong place…
She does rounds of the campus, and possibly of the surrounding town, as well. That’s how most heroes find villainy.
Also, panel 2 makes it clear that this is the guy’s second attempt at breaking this car’s window with a cinder block, so he’s clearly been here a while, making noise to wake the dead. He’s either an idiot, or he’s intentionally trying to lure her out.
I’m gonna say AG was *in* the car and Cinderblockhead here doesn’t realize the sunroof was open. He’d better hurry, too, because it’s about to rain.
The panel 2 pic of the guy bears a suspicious resemblance to Willis’ self-portraits…
I was thinking the same.
Huh. Why is it that when Amazi-Girl transforms the permission “can” into the possibility “can” is sounds endearing instead of insufferable?
Because she’s about to kick his butt.
Gotta say that guy is a real weakling if he’s struggling so hard with a hollow cinderblock like that. I’ve carried heavier with more ease in college to prop up desk hutches and beds.
Yea, what is that cinder block made out of anyway, concrete??
Yeah, I would estimate that block to be about 20 pounds at the heaviest. If he could not lift that and chuck it with one hand, then I would say he needs some exercise .
The block itself is a weird shape too. I have only ever seen 8x8x8 blocks with a single hole. All the rest are either have two holes or are solid.
“Three’s a Crowd”
(ethan/danny/amber. ethan/danny/amber. ethan/danny/amber)
Woo! More Amber/Amazigirl! I find that Amber/Amazigirl is a really cool character. I especially like her history with Sal, it’s pretty interesting.
Amazi-girl strips work well as transitions between chapters.
“Amazi-Girl strips” also the number one search string on Daisy’s phone.
Regarding that WAH strip… Yeah, nice try Willis, but that obviously happens in some bizarro alternate universe where Sarah is capable of joy.
And Dina knows how to smile. Also, what is she looking at? Joyce, or Carla’s chest puppies?
What you can’t see is that Sarah brought Other Jacob along to the party.
And Dina knows how to smile. Also, what is she looking at? Joyce, or Carla’s chest puppies?
Dina has no interest in anything mammalian.
Archosaurs FTW!
Anyone else read that last line in the tootsie roll Owl voice?
I fully believe Amaziegirl capable of mocking the cowardly criminals like that – and it would be TERRIFYING!
I didn’t even consider that “threes a crowd” might not be about Joyce, Becky and Sarah like I was assuming but now I’m thinking what if it’s actually about Amber, Danny and Amazigirl
To me it seems like Willies has a habit of giving the titles multiple meanings. Like “teenage church mouse” was a red herring about Joyce that turned out to be about Walky, and last chapter was just full of someone who loved someone. (Walky and Sal, Amber and Ethan, Billie and Ruth and of course Becky and Joyce). So I predict there will be more than one trio at work here.
Let se… My guess is at least three of the following: Danny/Amaziegirl/Amber, Danny/Amber/Ethan, Sarah/Joyce/Ruth, Walky/Dorothy/Becky, Ethan/Danny/Joyce.
And possibly one or two of these more wild cards: Billie/Ruth/Mary (something is going down, and I’m sure we miss part of the puzzle), Dorothy/Becky/Joyce (some sort of best-friend rivalry), Sal/Marcie/Jason (We will see more of Sal and Marcie’s relationship sooner or later, and Jason is a likely catalyst), Jakob/Sarah/Roz
“In my mind I am picturing a dart board with every available space riddled with darts.” – Tom Siddell
I was always sure it was about Amber, Danny, and Amazigirl. I can’t even see a reason for Sarah to make threes-a-crowd work as a plot dynamic in the Becky/Joyce plot line. Sarah has no motivation in her character to make Becky’s life difficult.
Putting three people in one dorm room, one of whom is going through more than the usual amount of teen-away-from-home-for-the-first-time drama and isn’t legally allowed to be there is quite enough to make life difficult for all three of them.
So, just as sort of an epilogue (and any excuse for Beckitude), if Becky is going to be in the dorm for any length of time, she’ll probably have to use the window to avoid suspicion (i.e. Mary). So, in the Defenestration League, will she side with Amazi-Girl… or Sal?
Now they’ve darkened all the windows
And the seats are Naugahyde
I’ve been waiting for an hour
I can’t find a place to hide
The being known as Amazigirl
Is speaking, I believe
It’s not easy trying to tell her
That I shortly have to leave
Why don’t you be like me?
Why don’t you stop and see?
Why don’t you hate who I hate,
Kill who I kill to be free?
Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why dodn’t you do what I do,
See what I feel when I care?
(Apologies to Nesmith, Dolenz, Tork & Jones.)
You do know that Neil Diamond wrote most of their songs, right?
Yup, and Ron Kirchner put them on television. I remember watching them on Saturday mornings as a kid.
Mike Nesmith (who was buddies with Frank Zappa) had a rather singularly odd solo career for a while. His Elephant Parts was… different.
OK, which Monkee’s song is that based on? (I only know a few of them anyway, so there is a good chance I haven’t heard the one you are parodying.)
Randy Scouse Git.
The ”Hey” killed me
Maybe she’ll be in a happy mood and only beat him a quarter to death.
…I just archive trawled through the Walkyverse strips from “Roomies” up to the final strip of “It’s Walky.” (idk if “archive trawl” is how you say it… my mind is pretty fried rn.)
Anyway, it was really interesting to see how the characters there differed from their incarnations here. Walky is especially interesting to think about…
“archive binged” =D
Thank you. 🙂
Also, Jason/Sal
Dude… if your skinny little 10-year-old girl arms struggle to lift one single cinderblock… perhaps you should not be engaging in activities which will likely result in sharing a 10×10 room with a very large and lonely man who can life YOU higher than you can lift said cinderblock.
Great time to find out
I thought she was helping his nice gentleman who was removing a dangerous obstacle on the road put a heavy object into his car (to be dropped off at a dumpster, no doubt).
I was disappointed.
Can’t you put in more males who are just normal upstanding citizens, Willis, you jerk?
Danny Ethan, and Jacob are upstanding enough. Arguably the same thing can be said about Walky and Joe. There are also plenty of messed up females.
O hai der? Why’re ya talkin like a Norski, der?
Not dat I’m complainin. Dat’s fer sure.
Amateur. If you’re going to steal a car, you break the *passenger* side window. Otherwise, you’re sitting in a pile of broken glass.
WHY ARE ALL THESE HIPSTERS STEALING CARS?!
p