Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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you hafta somersault pretty high up in the air to deliver a good dropkick like that, if you're doing it right, like a boss
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June 24, 2026

Listen to me

by David M Willis on September 18, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Glower Vacuum
└ Tags: amazi-girl, ryan

Discussion (362) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    September 18, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

    Sadly, Bidoof isn’t a generation 1 Pokemon, or I could combine him with Krabby in Pokemon Fusion and show you all what a KRABOOF actually looks like.

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

      Sadly isn’t the right world. Relievingly, maybe.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 18, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

        I want you to imagine the parallel universe where Bidoof is the only Pokemon available when Ash gets to Professor Oak’s, and is now one of the most recognizable characters in the world.

        Imagine the Bidoof pencil cases, the pajamas, the underroos. Imagine the giant Bidoof in the Macy’s parade, and the shelves filling even now with Bidoof costumes for Halloween.

        Whenever life sucks and you are feeling down, just remember that your life could be the exact same, but in THAT reality.

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          September 18, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

          That’s the worst part of the many-worlds interpretation. Somewhere in the multiverse Bidoof must be well liked.

          • MatthewTheLucky
            MatthewTheLucky
            September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

            Time to declare war on the multiverse I suppose.

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              September 18, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

              Whelp, we had a good run.

            • 3oranges
              3oranges
              September 18, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

              You will be fighting an army of sapient Bidoof that play games where they capture and train different humans to fight. They can do this because they have evolved to walk on their hind legs. Their leader is Scrappy B’Doof. Can you keep your sanity long enough to win? Good luck to you.

              • MatthewTheLucky
                MatthewTheLucky
                September 18, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

                Sanity is just holding me back!

                • Freddie!
                  Freddie!
                  September 18, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

                  Holding you back wih what? its claws?

                • EvilMidnightLurker
                  EvilMidnightLurker
                  September 18, 2016 at 3:16 am | #

                  Isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, ooh-ooh-ooh, the sky’s the limit!

                • The Other Mike
                  The Other Mike
                  September 18, 2016 at 6:09 am | #

                  I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

              • Slacker
                Slacker
                September 18, 2016 at 1:46 am | #

                Da da dada da Daaaa, Poke Power!

            • Tan
              Tan
              September 18, 2016 at 6:38 pm | #

              Fun fact: of the infinite universes that recognize some concept of a multiverse, over half are at war with it.

            • perlhaqr
              perlhaqr
              September 19, 2016 at 11:06 am | #

              No, wait! I just saw that episode of Star Trek! It doesn’t go well. I propose we leave the peaceful (but oh, so strange) Bidoof loving denizens of that universe to their bizarre ways.

        • Durandal_1707
          Durandal_1707
          September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

          We’ve already seen enough accidental suicides from people walking into traffic, off of cliffs, into combine harvesters, into nuclear reactors, etc. because they were chasing Pokémon. We don’t need to make that even worse by introducing ones that require you to do a drop kick.

          • Clif
            Clif
            September 18, 2016 at 9:34 am | #

            I respectfully disagree.

          • WaytoomanyUIDs
            WaytoomanyUIDs
            September 18, 2016 at 11:05 am | #

            Getting arrested is usually not synonymous with committing suicide, even in these troubling times.

        • Jim the Fish
          Jim the Fish
          September 18, 2016 at 1:45 am | #

          A world where Mimikyu disguises itself as Bidoof because it thought it would be able to make friends with humans if only it looked like Bidoof

          • EvilMidnightLurker
            EvilMidnightLurker
            September 18, 2016 at 3:16 am | #

            Mimikyoof?

        • Lailah
          Lailah
          September 18, 2016 at 4:10 am | #

          ….bidoof isn’t that bad though. It’s just kind of a solidly meh rattatta.

          • The Other Mike
            The Other Mike
            September 18, 2016 at 6:11 am | #

            So I guess a meh Rattata wouldn’t be in the top percentage of Rattata.

        • Robert
          Robert
          September 18, 2016 at 7:57 pm | #

          If Bidoof was a first generation pokemon then no one would be playing Pokemon Go! right now…because the franchise would have killed itself over a decade ago.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      You don’t need the website. The way it works would be that you use the face and color palette of the former with the body of the latter.
      So a normal bidoof with red instead of brown and then bug-out eyes.

    • Haven
      Haven
      September 18, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak pokemon stronger

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 18, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

        Or hold back power for dramatic reveal?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 18, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

        Just wait until I combine Pokemon Ruby and Pokemon Sapphire to create the ultimate game, Pokemon Garnet!

        • EvilMidnightLurker
          EvilMidnightLurker
          September 18, 2016 at 3:18 am | #

          What if you combine Pokemon Omega Ruby and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire?

          • AGV
            AGV
            September 18, 2016 at 7:17 am | #

            Delta Garnet or Gamma garnet?

        • ety
          ety
          September 18, 2016 at 4:49 am | #

          Shouldn’t you really have gone with Emerald there… I mean I get your reference, but I’m still torn on that one.

      • Mom
        Mom
        September 18, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

        Yay Steven Universe fans!!

    • Binky
      Binky
      September 18, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

      Who needs Pokémon Fusion when you can do a terrible job of it yourself?
      https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19011826/Kraboof.png

      • Gamaran Sepudomyn
        Gamaran Sepudomyn
        September 18, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

        10/3. Excellent abomination.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm | #

        So, Pokémon meets Fallout 4.

  2. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 18, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

    I will gladly accept your satisfying kicks as punch-substitutes, Willis!

    • Gespenst
      Gespenst
      September 18, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

      When it’s that satisfying, you’d have to be pretty stone-hearted to not accept it.

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      September 18, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

      So instead of using the phone to figure out who amazi-girl is and get her arrested for her vigilante actions he just phones a friend? DING*

      this guy’s friend didn’t ignore a phone call from a phone number he’s never seen. DING*

      Wait, he was using his phone and not amazi-girls? as smart as that is i’m adding another sin for the momentary confusion. DING*

      broken jaw check, whip-lash check, road burns check, congratulations amazi-girl you’ve just handed the ass-hole victory in a lawsuit. It doesn’t help that there aren’t any witnesses and the law clearly states that you attacking a fleeing assailant than you can be charged with assault. DING*

      Now I know what your thinking, sal can just back her up, and your right in an ideal world but, these days her say is in the same league as this guys modeling career. DING*

      – this joke brought to you by cinema sins

      mentions are put at the end of the joke rather than the beginning basically guaranteeing he gets flack from all the fans who don’t read the full comment. DING*

      total sins = 6
      sentence: Marcie’s disapproval stare!

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        September 18, 2016 at 1:40 am | #

        Everything wrong with Dumbing of Age in 5 minutes?

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 18, 2016 at 9:39 am | #

          It takes 5 minutes to say ” nothing much”???

          • Ana Chronistic
            Ana Chronistic
            September 18, 2016 at 9:56 pm | #

            yeah, ’cause no one’s gonna watch a two-second video, gotta set something up for the ad space

      • Maxy
        Maxy
        September 18, 2016 at 1:41 am | #

        Meh, she’s broken the law a whole bunch. If nothing else, I’m reasonably certain that vigilante justice is itself illegal, and she’s broken and entered at least once.
        She wears that mask for more than one reason.

        • temporaryobsessor
          temporaryobsessor
          September 18, 2016 at 10:42 am | #

          Proberly not true. Vigilante justice usually is illegal because things done in its pursuit are illegal. Indiana is a stand your ground state. Amazigirl has personal rules which nicely exploit that fact.
          You really can’t assume masked vigilante actually means shes a criminal.
          Amber might not fully understand this herself.

      • Will
        Will
        September 18, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

        Uh, he’s not using her phone. At all. It’s blocked.

        • Will
          Will
          September 18, 2016 at 2:09 am | #

          Also, “the vigilante kicked me” is kind of a weak lawsuit considering he doesn’t know who she is.

          • rectilinearpropagation
            rectilinearpropagation
            September 18, 2016 at 10:59 am | #

            Isn’t it impossible to sue someone if you don’t know their identity. IANAL but you can’t charge someone with a crime without being able to name both the victim and the accused.

            Wouldn’t the same rule apply to civil suits?

          • TheAnonymousGuy
            TheAnonymousGuy
            September 18, 2016 at 3:32 pm | #

            well some lady sued a couple of girl scouts for ringing her door bell which resulted in her winning the law suite. A man sued a couple because he tried to rob their house while they were away and got trapped in their garage, he also won his case. Some random guy sued Michael Jordon for looking like him. Given that I’m willing to believe any suite can make it

            • PedantryBot
              PedantryBot
              September 18, 2016 at 6:58 pm | #

              A suite is a collection of rooms.

            • Sage
              Sage
              September 18, 2016 at 7:59 pm | #

              The robber in the garage case, at least, is patently false. http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp I’ve never once found confirmation of any lawsuits where a robber screws up and sues the person or parties he’s robbing.

        • Geneseepaws
          Geneseepaws
          September 18, 2016 at 7:51 am | #

          One phone, two phone, red phone, …blue phone, — er, … Maroon… As Bugs would say; “Doc, are you some kinda maroon?”

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        September 18, 2016 at 2:12 am | #

        Did you hear the damage report on Blaine? Amber (for indeed it was her) shattered a couple of ribs. So, Ryan would be hardly the first person that we’ve seen put into long-term care by her.

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        September 18, 2016 at 3:36 am | #

        This isn’t Amber’s phone that he’s calling from, notice the two phones flying in the air from the kick. His is brown, Amazi-girl’s is blue.

        • TheAnonymousGuy
          TheAnonymousGuy
          September 18, 2016 at 3:20 pm | #

          I’m going panel by panel and there’s a sin addressing the two phones

          • PedantryBot
            PedantryBot
            September 18, 2016 at 6:59 pm | #

            This is even worse than the people Willis complains about who get mad about things that are addressed in the very next strip.

      • Sage
        Sage
        September 18, 2016 at 8:12 pm | #

        Also, all your “sins” can be addressed with “People are not clear-headed logical thinkers when they’re being pursued by someone who wants to kick the crap out of them and god only knows what else.” Besides, the smart thing to do -is- to hide first.

      • DRA2840
        DRA2840
        September 18, 2016 at 11:04 pm | #

        He assauted her first, with his friends, and robed her phone. She could win this case in real life if Ryan wasn’t a white-son-of-a-pastor-probably-rich-privileged-male.

        But if he DID sue her, than she’d have his name to label the picture. And she would tell the jury, judge, press, campus… That he roofied a girl on a party. Maybe not the best-case scenario for him. Too much attention.

  3. MatthewTheLucky
    MatthewTheLucky
    September 18, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

    Booya!

  4. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    September 18, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

    I was hoping for more of a KA-POW, myself…

    • darkoneko
      darkoneko
      September 18, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      to each their own sounds !

    • miados
      miados
      September 18, 2016 at 1:46 am | #

      krack a TOE a

      • Fire_daws
        Fire_daws
        September 18, 2016 at 7:58 am | #

        That sound is reserved for when AG fights Ross.

      • MrZombieScordo
        MrZombieScordo
        September 18, 2016 at 11:03 am | #

        Toe peek a

  5. Yakkorex
    Yakkorex
    September 18, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Very nice. I approve.

  6. Wikidreamer
    Wikidreamer
    September 18, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Ska-DOOSH muthafuger!

  7. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    September 18, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    the terror that kraboofs in the night

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 18, 2016 at 3:51 am | #

      The half-a-grapefruit in your balanced breakfast.

  8. butts
    butts
    September 18, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Man, how hard did she hit him? He’s going flying.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

      NOT HARD ENOUGH

      • butts
        butts
        September 18, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

        Head still attached to shoulders? NOT HARD ENOUGH.

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          September 18, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

          I don’t think ANY part of his body is going to reach orbit with that trajectory! ROOKIE MISTAKE

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            September 18, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

            Nonono, it still works if you hit him hard enough that he bounces into orbit.

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              September 18, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

              Is his spleen currently orbiting India? NOT HARD ENOUGH!

            • Shawn L.
              Shawn L.
              September 18, 2016 at 2:03 am | #

              No, going into orbit means he dies of suffocation, A rather peaceful way to die.

              • Betty Anne
                Betty Anne
                September 18, 2016 at 10:24 am | #

                Unless he travels to orbit fast enough and high enough to die of decompression first. ^^;

                • Gamaran Sepudomyn
                  Gamaran Sepudomyn
                  September 18, 2016 at 1:40 pm | #

                  I’m pretty sure he’d be squished by the g-forces first.

                • Potted Moose
                  Potted Moose
                  September 18, 2016 at 2:41 pm | #

                  Betty, you don’t actually decompress in space… you die of suffocation…

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  September 18, 2016 at 5:34 pm | #

                  I consider the effects of ebullism to have more to do with decompression than suffocation, but yes, the worst and least-survivable effects of that set in at about 30 seconds of exposure, while hypoxia sets in deeply enough at about 14 seconds to make the person pass out and could be considered suffocation.

  9. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    *plays “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      September 18, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      Nah.  “Drop-kick Me, Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)” is much more appropriate.

      • Will
        Will
        September 18, 2016 at 2:11 am | #

        Songs like a really trashy dubstep song, if you ask me.

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        September 18, 2016 at 11:29 pm | #

        “Ain’t That a Kick In The Head”?

    • The Other Mike
      The Other Mike
      September 18, 2016 at 6:13 am | #

      Please. “Another One Bites The Dust.” You can’t go wrong with Queen.

  10. Prof Fool
    Prof Fool
    September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    That’s gonna leave a scar.

  11. Chromacandi
    Chromacandi
    September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Mmm, that’s the sweet smell of catharsis.

    • Schol-R-LEA
      Schol-R-LEA
      September 18, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      At least it isn’t The Sweet Smell of Men’s Colon.

      • brionl
        brionl
        September 18, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

        Worst. Fragrance. Ever.

  12. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I saw a news blurb about Bono and misread it as Bongo. Made me think of the comments here.

    • butts
      butts
      September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      i got 99 problems but a bongo ain’t one

  13. JepMZ
    JepMZ
    September 18, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Damn, don’t people die by these maneuvers?

    😀

    Just kidding

    • miados
      miados
      September 18, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

      to be fair you would be surprised what you can live through.

  14. Hilzabub
    Hilzabub
    September 18, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Now she has two phones. Sweet!

    • Lone Wolf
      Lone Wolf
      September 18, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Three phones if she takes his!

      • Chandra
        Chandra
        September 18, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

        I bet if she obtained four more phones she could go super.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 18, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

          Nah. She relies on her combat skills, acrobatics, and sheer guts. If she focused on acquiring tech, she’d be a phone-y. A real cell-out.

          • Rukduk
            Rukduk
            September 18, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

            *slow clap*

            Also, the Walky grav makes for great pun service.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              September 18, 2016 at 7:32 am | #

              That’s part of why I worked so hard to get it.

    • David
      David
      September 18, 2016 at 5:59 am | #

      Well, two phones with broken screens, that is. I don’t think she has any physics defiance points left after the last panel.

      • The Other Mike
        The Other Mike
        September 18, 2016 at 6:31 am | #

        I’d bet anything that hers, at least, has an impact-resistant case and screen. (Amazi-Girl is always prepared for anything, after all.)

  15. Shiro
    Shiro
    September 18, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Ryan is actually attempting to lay low and hide out. Somehow that’s incredibly satisfying.

    Especially since it apparently isn’t going to work.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s time for that scum to get a hospital bed.

      • (((Mkvenner)))
        (((Mkvenner)))
        September 18, 2016 at 2:17 am | #

        Or get a close up look at the bottom of lake Monroe.

        • Geneseepaws
          Geneseepaws
          September 18, 2016 at 8:00 am | #

          Eeeuuuwwww! Pollution like that would need a super-fund to clean the stain.

  16. Commodore Jeep-Eep
    Commodore Jeep-Eep
    September 18, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Too slow, stravag.

  17. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    September 18, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    KRABOFF reads more like the brand name of a lice killing product!

    • fogel
      fogel
      September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      Which would be appropriate, right?

    • Potted Moose
      Potted Moose
      September 18, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Don’t be insulting lice by comparing tham to *him* 😛

  18. quix
    quix
    September 18, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    This is continuing to go much better than I expected.

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      September 18, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      I know. Things are going well.
      TOO WELL.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 18, 2016 at 9:43 am | #

        …or are they going NOT TOO WELL ENOUGH?

  19. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    FU. ROH. KRABOOF !

  20. Mollyscribbles
    Mollyscribbles
    September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    General rule of thumb: If a friend asks to crash at your place because a superhero is after them, stop being friends with them. Unless you are interested in a career as a supervillain and are aware of the hero’s reasons for going after them. And that said reason isn’t something jerky.

    • Sam
      Sam
      September 18, 2016 at 6:12 am | #

      Do not keep friends that must run from superheroes to not be punched or kicked in the face.

    • The Other Mike
      The Other Mike
      September 18, 2016 at 6:34 am | #

      Even if you are interested in supervillainy, at least find friends who have their own evil lairs to crash at.

      • Cybersnark
        Cybersnark
        September 18, 2016 at 8:45 am | #

        “Don’t lead them back here, idiot!”

      • Mollyscribbles
        Mollyscribbles
        September 19, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

        The only exception being if you feel like letting them do the legwork for luring the hero into a trap.

  21. John
    John
    September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I’m pretty sure drop-kicking people in the head doesn’t go KRABOOF.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      September 18, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      Being able to say your own logo gives you special privileges.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 18, 2016 at 9:46 am | #

        How many KRABOOFS have you seen, John.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      Have you ever drop-kicked someone in the head?

      • John
        John
        September 18, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

        Um. Yes.

        (Looks like tonight is “mention incidents from Boy Scouts in Willis-comic comments” night.)

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 18, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

          But did you do so over successive trials, with a variety of footwear, and an adequate control group?

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 18, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

          Not bad, mine was just “Left cause I couldn’t sell any candy bars.”

          • Rukduk
            Rukduk
            September 18, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

            We used to sell different types of canned popcorn, like caramel corn and the such. Of course back then I still lived in Michigan… *wistful sigh*

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              September 18, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

              Land of Lots-A-Water? Or is that Montana? Hawaii…

              • Rukduk
                Rukduk
                September 18, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

                Just change “water” to “lakes and rivers” and you’re correct. Oh and mosquitos. Only bad thing about Michigan is the damn Mosquitos every summer…

            • Does not Approve
              Does not Approve
              September 18, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

              Man it’s weird seeing my state written out in comments. Usually unless your on one of the coasts, nobody cares.

      • Joe Archer
        Joe Archer
        September 18, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

        Sadly, yes – a hostage situation resolved. I did not quite get the sound-effects. The visuals were a lot worse, though, hence I assumed that AG hit his chest or shoulder.

        • Joe Archer
          Joe Archer
          September 18, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

          I gained the height by running up a ramp rather than somersaulting, though. That’s why I missed the chest I was aiming for…

  22. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    September 18, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Sorry, that was “OFF” not “OFF”. My point still stands, though.

    • Van Jealous
      Van Jealous
      September 18, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      OOF OOF OOF OOF!!!! One day I will learn to spell OOF!

      • Woobie
        Woobie
        September 18, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

        B-A-N-A-N-A-S

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 18, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

          Holla?

          • trlkly
            trlkly
            September 18, 2016 at 5:54 am | #

            Holla back.

  23. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    September 18, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Ryan stole Amazi-Girl’s phone to make a call‽

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      September 18, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      Look at the third panel again, closely.

    • Chandra
      Chandra
      September 18, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Nope, he was his his phone to call his friend. Note that there are 2 phones flying from Ryan’s hands as Amazi-girl “foward-airs” into his clavicle.

      • Chandra
        Chandra
        September 18, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

        Using* his phone. Gosh darn it.

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      September 18, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      No, he was talking on his own phone (red case). AG’s phone has the light blue case – he’s holding it in his free hand while he runs, not the hand by his head. You can see both phones go flying when AG collides with him.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      September 18, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      No, he’s using his own phone to call, the red one. AG’s phone is the baby-blue one.

  24. Tenchan
    Tenchan
    September 18, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Cue the Batman theme song!!!

    • miados
      miados
      September 18, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

      amazigirl would have her own theme

      look out drunk thugs for amazi girl
      she will hunt you down before you can hurl

      AG she is the one to see
      AG she won’t let you go free
      AG she will tie you to a treeeeeeeeeee

  25. Fart Captor
    Fart Captor
    September 18, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    So, is he talking to one of the bros who already got their asses beat, or another, equally douchey bro?

    • Just Me
      Just Me
      September 18, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

      I was imaging that he was talking to a girl for some reason.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 18, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

        Ugh. That is a possibility I had not considered.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        September 18, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

        Me too, given the bossy tone. The way he talked to his bros was different. “No you listen to me” implies they are fighting over the phone, too.

      • (((Mkvenner)))
        (((Mkvenner)))
        September 18, 2016 at 2:49 am | #

        Mary?

      • Lovely Monsters
        Lovely Monsters
        September 18, 2016 at 3:39 am | #

        Yeah, me too, because he was being rude.

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

      He’s telling the person on the other end to “turn around and come back”. Maybe he got a ride to the rally from another friend?

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 18, 2016 at 9:17 am | #

        It definitely wasn’t Tyler, Taylor, or Dawson. Those three are still lying in a heap of bruises

  26. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    September 18, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    I’ll gladly accept that Amazi-Girl breaks physics, but I also was struck by the idea of Amber taking a running start and then she jumps into Sal’s hands and Sal tosses her to give her that extra boost to be able to pull off that kick.

    Like, I doubt Sal would agree to it, but this is a superhero team-up. All bets are off when it comes to looking cool.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      September 18, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      “…’kay, but only for Joyce.”

    • John
      John
      September 18, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

      SAL: “Fastball special!”

      AMAZI-GIRL: “We can’t call it that, I’m pretty sure it’s a Marvel trademark.”

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 18, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

        GLA Copyrighted.

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 18, 2016 at 9:52 am | #

          Gustice League of America. ;-|

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 18, 2016 at 2:16 pm | #

            Great Lake Avengers.

            • Fart Captor
              Fart Captor
              September 18, 2016 at 2:25 pm | #

              Not sure those guys can copyright Wolverine’s move

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 18, 2016 at 2:46 pm | #

                They did.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 18, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

      “Fine, but only because I get to say I chucked you halfway across the courtyard.”

  27. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    September 18, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    I think she caught up.

  28. Kris
    Kris
    September 18, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    Wait has anyone made this possible connection yet. Ryan’s a pastor’s son right? What if he’s the son of the pastor at that church Joyce went to last chapter? That’s probably a stretch though.

    • Tan
      Tan
      September 18, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      If he was, Joyce would’ve already known him.

      • Kris
        Kris
        September 18, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

        Oh yeah that makes sense…..but what if though?! O_o

        • Foxhack
          Foxhack
          September 18, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

          That could only happen in a Mexican telenovela.

          El Dumbing of Age airs every evening on Telemundo! Right after Dexter and El Chango Master.

          … look, I am not skilled enough to copy their special kind of “Spanish”, okay?

          • Woobie
            Woobie
            September 18, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

            The BEST novelas are on Univision, always.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 18, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

          Maybe an illegitimate child whose mom was paid to go away, and who knew his father only through letters?

          …. no, he doesn’t get the dignity of a sobby origin story. He’s just an entitled prick.

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      September 18, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

      He’s not a pastor’s son. That was a series of lies to get Joyce’s guard down. Actually giving her identifying information would have made no sense.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 18, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

        Except he kept that part of his story when he abandoned all the rest of it and outright told her he’d been trying to get her to drink that drug all night, and when (on the surface) telling her that was a lie too would have seemed even more demoralizing.

        And he was pissed off enough to tell the truth even if it was bad for him at that point.

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          September 18, 2016 at 12:53 am | #

          Huh, forget that part. Still coulda been lying though.

          • David M Willis
            David M Willis
            September 18, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

            He wasn’t lying.

            • Lovely Monsters
              Lovely Monsters
              September 18, 2016 at 3:40 am | #

              ::fangirl scream::

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 18, 2016 at 2:37 pm | #

                Great, another one fainted.

            • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
              DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
              September 18, 2016 at 9:00 pm | #

              You mean, he’s also a stereotype on top of an attempted rapist AND has a social life that resembles a Saturday morning cartoon villain with his flunkies?
              What new low will Ryan have to his character next?! Leaping Lizards!

            • MatthewTheLucky
              MatthewTheLucky
              September 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm | #

              Dang, that means it’s a plot point!

              • MatthewTheLucky
                MatthewTheLucky
                September 18, 2016 at 9:40 pm | #

                Which is definitely going to be bad!

  29. fogel
    fogel
    September 18, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    That’s pretty ok!
    (But does kabroof = KO in Amazigirl Super-dialect? He’s not going to get up off the pavement is he?)

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      September 18, 2016 at 3:41 am | #

      Um, KO via kick to a head is strong possibility of permanent brain damage. Hopefully, Amazi-girl isn’t going for that.

      • Lailah
        Lailah
        September 18, 2016 at 4:12 am | #

        Knocking someone unconscious through physical force is pretty likely to fuck them up without immediate medical attention, yes.

    • fogel
      fogel
      September 18, 2016 at 5:07 am | #

      Since his brain is seriously dysfunctional to start, mayhaps a Amazikick-to-the-Head! ™ will fix him up?

  30. Tacos
    Tacos
    September 18, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Woot! Drop-kick to the face!

  31. Tan
    Tan
    September 18, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Ryan does not do well with final panels. Of the 6 times he has been struck, 5 were final panels (and the remaining one was the same strip he was struck again in the final panel)

    Maybe you should stay away from final panels, Ryan.

    Or quit raping people. That’d be good. In fact that’d be best.

    • Kris
      Kris
      September 18, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      “Trying” to rape people. As far as we know he hasn’t raped anyone yet, and trust me that will be a very important detail when he doesn’t get charged and this doesn’t go to court. Amazi-girl on the other hand? Easy assault charge in front of eye witnesses too, who probably take Ryan’s side (at least the bros will) There goes self defense! In fact what’s the statute on assault? Joyce and Sarah might be in trouble!…(This is all heavy sarcasm by the way)

      • MatthewTheLucky
        MatthewTheLucky
        September 18, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

        Leslie’s the one who’d be most willing to testify anyway, and she’s not going to let bias cloud her judgement here.

        • Kris
          Kris
          September 18, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

          It was just in reference to this chapter starting off with a story of someone in the wrong getting away with their misdeed. Which would be a thematic precursor to the events happening thus far….As well as the reality of how many college rape allegations/investigations generally conclude.

          • MatthewTheLucky
            MatthewTheLucky
            September 18, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

            True, but that stuff doesn’t usually involve the perp fighting a superhero in a crowded room.

            • Kris
              Kris
              September 18, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

              Well that same story also ended with the antagonist getting the life choked out of him, which might be a nice thematic precursor to future events….Let’s cross our fingers.

              • Benjamin Geiger
                Benjamin Geiger
                September 18, 2016 at 2:59 am | #

                Do we know what happened to Leland? I presume there’ll be a continuation of that flashback at some point.

                • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                  DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                  September 18, 2016 at 9:08 pm | #

                  I was told Ryan and Leland were two different people. Ryan also, even with the scar, has a prettier face than Leland has much hope of turning out with at this age without plastic surgery.

                  Wouldn’t surprise me if that was Leland Ryan was on the phone with, however.

      • ischemgeek
        ischemgeek
        September 18, 2016 at 7:37 am | #

        Ryan was too confident and polished with his MO for that to be a first attempt.

        Just cuz he hasn’t been shown on screen as raping anyone doesn’t mean he hasn’t.

        Ryan reminds me of a serial rapist who I used to go to high school with – same MO, same tendency to lean on respectable parent to seem like a good kid, same entitlement, same sexism, same ability to put on a nice act while other people are around… That guy had raped literally dozens of times before he was caught the first time at 17 (an obnoxious Canadian legal loophole meant he got out at 19, went straight back to business as usual when he got to college… and was then caught again when someone interrupted an attempt and the cops ran his DNA and discovered, hey, this guy is that guy linked to like 20-odd rape kits. Legal case is currently winding through the system – but young white athletic male, so I have approximately zero hope he’s actually going to see any real consequence.

        Ryan types don’t get that smooth at it without practice. Joyce wasn’t his first mark. Hell, I’d be shocked if she’s in his first ten.

        • Romanticide
          Romanticide
          September 19, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

          holy shit that is terrifying D:

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      You know, if you could just stop with the raping, that’d be super.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      September 18, 2016 at 2:12 am | #

      We don’t know he hasn’t raped other girls though. He was fairly smooth going after Amber.
      And his statement to his ‘bros’, while getting ready to pound on AG while she was being held down….makes me think that changes are much better that he has raped before.

      • Sam
        Sam
        September 18, 2016 at 6:24 am | #

        This is true, and his tactic with Joyce was a solid way to trick an innocent person (hit it off, suggest playing games, wait a few minutes then say you couldn’t find anyone who wanted to play, slip a drug in her drink, wait for it to take effect). The only reasons he failed are because he ran out of patience and Sarah had a bat – it doesn’t seem like something a first timer would know to do unless he had some weird creepy mentor.

        • Eyebrow
          Eyebrow
          September 18, 2016 at 8:35 am | #

          Plus his insult to Amazigirl,”you’re just jealous no-one’s ever wanted to drug *your* fat ass.”

          Sounds like drugging a girl is just his way of saying he likes her.

        • ety
          ety
          September 18, 2016 at 3:59 pm | #

          He ran out of patience only after the drug was about to take effect and she was still avoiding private spaces. He just didn’t want her passing out around witnesses. Not to mention, the trick he used to get her to drink the drugs was downright studied. She had flat-out refused the drink several times prior and in fact never actually accepted it.

  32. Lypher01
    Lypher01
    September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    Master of Tai Kwan Leap she is. She gave that guy a boot to the head. https://youtu.be/Z8VD4JXUozM

    • Lypher01
      Lypher01
      September 18, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

      Here’s the song I thought was in the first link. https://youtu.be/ZljpTx_tJ78

    • Benjamin Geiger
      Benjamin Geiger
      September 18, 2016 at 2:59 am | #

      NYAH NYAH!

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      September 18, 2016 at 3:44 pm | #

      Only one result for Ctrl+F ‘Boot to the head’? I’m disappointed, though it’s nice to hear the Tai Kwon Leep one for once instead of the skit whose audio was pasted so perfectly over Phoenix Wright animations.

  33. DinaWho
    DinaWho
    September 18, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    I’m wondering if there’s going to be a ~dramatic reveal~ of who he was calling (if it’s a character we know)

    • Does not Approve
      Does not Approve
      September 18, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

      Just watch it be Mary.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 18, 2016 at 9:06 am | #

        Watching to see if you’re right. If so, that would be a tremendous call.

        • Inspector Hound
          Inspector Hound
          September 18, 2016 at 12:43 pm | #

          I like it except for one problem: Mary has been quite vocal about the inherent evil of the Desantos, even small cereal-eating ones. I don’t see her giving a lift to a Desanto volunteer to or from a Desanto rally.

          • Dr. T
            Dr. T
            September 18, 2016 at 1:36 pm | #

            She is not above hypocrisy. That has long been a defining feature of her character.

            • trlkly
              trlkly
              September 18, 2016 at 8:09 pm | #

              Just driving the guy there but not actually sticking around wouldn’t really be hypocritical. Heck, the reason she doesn’t want to come back might be that she hates DeSanto.

              (I use her last name because it’s her as a politician.)

  34. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 18, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    I love weird sound effects.

  35. Train Moblin
    Train Moblin
    September 18, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    so is no one going to mention that he was talking to someone

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

      It’s what I’m hunting for. Nothing overly deep, aside from a possible girlfriend from what I’ve seen so far.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        September 18, 2016 at 2:12 am | #

        I don’t think Ryan is the type for maintaining long term relationships.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          September 18, 2016 at 8:45 pm | #

          Maybe if she was submissive and did whatever he told her to. Possibly a former victim, too insecure to realize dominance and abuse isn’t love.

    • Captain Whoever
      Captain Whoever
      September 18, 2016 at 11:49 am | #

      I assumed it was one of the bros that already got away.

      • Captain Whoever
        Captain Whoever
        September 18, 2016 at 11:53 am | #

        Wait no, it can’t be as he says ‘hang out at your place.’ Hmm. Agree with inqntrol though – this guy doesn’t strike me as the relationship type.

  36. JJJ
    JJJ
    September 18, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    And the connection between Sal’s phone and this congruence of Ryan’s head and Amazi-Girl’s boot shall soon become clear…

    • MichaelO
      MichaelO
      September 18, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

      Find My iPhone????

  37. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    September 18, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    Silly Ryan.

    You think darkness is your ally. But you merely absconded in the dark. Amazi-girl was born in it. Molded by it. She didn’t see the light until she was BOOTTOTHEHEAD!

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

      And one more for Jenny and the wimp!

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 18, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

        A rabid Tasmanian Devil is too nice for Ryan.

        • Spaz
          Spaz
          September 18, 2016 at 3:33 am | #

          a rabid, face-cancery Tasmanian Devil is too nice for Ryan.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      September 19, 2016 at 3:59 pm | #

      Now we just need the narrator to yell out:” Four on the Floor!”

  38. Cholma
    Cholma
    September 18, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    Ryan will now be singing, “Dropkick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life)”. His posse will sing backup. Oh, wait, they’re not called “posse” anymore, right? “Squad”, that’s it. His squad will sing backup!

  39. Dex
    Dex
    September 18, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    Little does Ryan know that Amber has mastered the Dragoon class.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 18, 2016 at 12:15 pm | #

      No wonder she’s doing so little damage. She forgot to equip a spear.

  40. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    September 18, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    So satisfying to see an asshole like that getting dunked on repeatedly.

  41. Saxa
    Saxa
    September 18, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    It looks like he’s bleeding out from his scar in the last panel.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      He was running, and is now about to faceplant onto asphalt. If he’s not bleeding now, he’s gonna be.

  42. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 18, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    Whoa, she swooped in like some flying mammal out of hell.

    • Spaz
      Spaz
      September 18, 2016 at 3:34 am | #

      almost like some kind of…….Spider Car!

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        September 18, 2016 at 4:19 am | #

        Amazi-Girl is Spider-Car confirmed!

  43. spriteless
    spriteless
    September 18, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

    AmaziGirl is hidden by the word baloon in panel 3 she is somersaulting so high.

  44. LS
    LS
    September 18, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

    I’m kinda curious what the endgame will be here. Without a police report on file at the time of the incident, I imagine going to the cops is a dubious option at best. But no amount of beating him up would be sufficient here.

    • Victor Riley
      Victor Riley
      September 18, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

      No, but she is plastering his face on social media, and she is stopping him from stopping her. Or trying to… this could be the ideal moment where the cops show up and try to take her into custody.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      There won’t need to be a police report, but someone will have to clean up the gross red smear in the parking lot.

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      Seems like Amazi-Girl’s plan before the dudebros swarmed was to slap his picture online along with a warning about his crimes. Not only might this warn other women about him, but it could encourage other victims to come forward and report him.

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      September 18, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

      Statute of limitations won’t have expired, and there is a victim and witnesses.
      And Ryan doesn’t look like a Hoosier football star.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        September 18, 2016 at 8:11 pm | #

        That really doesn’t matter. Prosecuting a month old attempted rape is pretty hard. Sal wasn’t wrong when she said the drugs being out of Joyce’s system probably meant that Ryan wouldn’t walk–and that was just the day after.

    • Inspector Hound
      Inspector Hound
      September 18, 2016 at 3:01 pm | #

      If all goes according to (what I assume is the) plan, Ryan stops being anonymous thanks to tweets and retweets, his other victims step forward, and the snowball effect begins (which we’ve seen happen in real life).

      The punching is just a bonus.

    • Amake
      Amake
      September 18, 2016 at 10:15 pm | #

      I figure Amazi-Girl will beat Ryan until he gives up his name, share that with the Internet and then disappear, as masked vigilantes are wont to. Then his days of raping freshmen in peace is over, at least in Indiana.

  45. Skim
    Skim
    September 18, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

    My theory is that she climbed up one of the streetlamps and and let go

    • Skim
      Skim
      September 18, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      uhh I messed up. please don’t post that Mr. Willis

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 18, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

        Too late?

  46. Silamy
    Silamy
    September 18, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

    ……is it just me, or is it _incredibly_ satisfying and somewhat cathartic to watch people beat the tar out of Ryan? I mean… watching Amber beat people up and retreat into AG is heart-breaking, and I know this isn’t a great solution in reality, but… he’s a … well, I’ve got a religious class to teach in a few hours and shouldn’t be using those words, but… does he have any redeeming qualities? I’ve gotten decent recipes on occasion from people who followed up by calling me “Christ-killer”, but this… ugh. And I’m not sure if a personality beyond “[wanabe] rapist” would help or not. On the one hand, it might make him more three-dimensional and accessible (like Mary’s anime? Maybe? She has hobbies, and studies, at least?), but is that a good thing? If we find out that the politically active preacher’s son who’s a respected member of his fraternity is also a decent student and generally comes across as a nice guy (except when he’s trying out his Crosby impression), would that character development be an interesting element of depth, or just a horrifying reminder that there was almost no chance of Joyce getting believed no matter what they’d done to report him and when?

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      September 18, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

      He’s friends with the fight scene generics. He has no redeeming qualities.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      September 18, 2016 at 5:58 am | #

      That’s the beauty of comic villains. You can get the catharsis with out the guilt.

      Video games are good for that, too.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 1:21 pm | #

      On the one hand, I feel like it would be good to show that — as with racism and sexism — not all people who do this are obviously, cartoonishly evil. Not because we’re too quick to prejudge such people, but rather because we’re too slow to believe that someone who seems nice might be capable of such behavior. The idea that only obviously creepy, disgusting sleazebags can be rapists is a dangerous one, that far too many people believe.

      On the other hand, the real world is far too willing to humanize guys like Ryan already. The way we pretty much exclusively see him being a horrible person sends a clear message. What we’ve been shown of his character are the parts that are relevant to how the audience should judge him. He’s explicitly not being depicted as a somehow tragic figure, or a “good boy who made one bad decision”, but simply as an asshole who has no respect for women, who attempted to rape at least one person, and is almost certainly guilty of worse, and has earned all the punches he receives.

      I think keeping him simple was probably the better way to go. There’s just enough detail for him to feel realistic, but not so much that it seems like we’re supposed to like him or feel sorry for him.

  47. Noah
    Noah
    September 18, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

    Is this the first comic with a multi-word title?

  48. Owlmirror
    Owlmirror
    September 18, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

    Track & Field & Youtube videos of flying kicks.

    Say, assuming Ryan stays down for a while, AG could use her phone to basically take pictures of his entire contact list. Which might include his contact for the drugs he uses. . .

    • darkoneko
      darkoneko
      September 18, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

      r she could st—I mean, holding on it for a while as evidence.

      • Owlmirror
        Owlmirror
        September 18, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

        Actually, I can see Ryan panicking and wiping the phone data if he thought there was a chance anything on it might be used against him. So, yes, I can see AG holding on to it for a while.

        • darkoneko
          darkoneko
          September 18, 2016 at 2:06 am | #

          Police kinda can trace them now, tho.

  49. Julie
    Julie
    September 18, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

    “Would you like to join me for a Kraboof?” is my new end-of-date line

  50. Dana
    Dana
    September 18, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    He’s mixed up her species, but she is a crazy female superhero. I object to his tone though.

    • Phyrexian_Rogue
      Phyrexian_Rogue
      September 18, 2016 at 9:17 am | #

      Fortunately his tone is the only objectionable thing about this paragon of virtue.

  51. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    September 18, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

    The irony is that he wants to crash at someone else’s place for a while, but Amazi-girl didn’t know his identity, wouldn’t have changed anything.

  52. SeanR
    SeanR
    September 18, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

    Considering.
    If there is a report, unsubstantiated, of him roofiying (sic?) someone, then there should be sufficient grounds to search him to see if he has rohypnol on his person or in his effects. I doubt he has a prescription for it. (I just googled it. It’s Schedule IV, and not approved for use in the US.)

    I also doubt anyone takes the stuff for recreational use, considering one of the “side effects” is a fuzzy memory.

    • SeanR
      SeanR
      September 18, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

      Huh. According to the web, people DO voluntarily take the stuff.
      Huh.

      • Sam
        Sam
        September 18, 2016 at 6:41 am | #

        I don’t imagine most people would, but according to the fittingly named Drugs.com, yes, they do, often with other drugs. Because some people just want to screw themselves up further apparently…

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 18, 2016 at 4:23 am | #

      Rule 34 of pharmaceuticals: If it has side effects, people will abuse it. No exceptions.

    • Portland
      Portland
      September 18, 2016 at 2:25 pm | #

      To be honest, I’ve known people who have intentionally and consensually rufied themselves before sex. As far as I know, it’s perfectly legal if both/all parties agree to it beforehand. Not that I think Ryan has ever considered that sort of use.

      • SeanR
        SeanR
        September 18, 2016 at 6:34 pm | #

        You know people who have taken an illegal narcotic prior to having consensual sex? Presuming you’re in the US, which is not a certain thing, I’ll admit, they were violating the law just as if they snorted a line of coke, or a shot of heroin, rather than a knockout pill, prior to coitus.

  53. Carolyn
    Carolyn
    September 18, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

    THANK CHRIST. I’ve actually been feeling some anxiety checking for updates these last few days out of dread for seeing Ryan slip away again.

    And now, a quote from my favorite Game of Thrones recap series:

    “TO BE OR NOT TO BE? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fuckboys, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by punching them in their stupid face END THEM.”

  54. sylvestrus
    sylvestrus
    September 18, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

    Finally he got the kraboofing that he deserved.

  55. Thevoiceoftreason
    Thevoiceoftreason
    September 18, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

    Odd that he calls her superhero instead of vigilante. Rarely do villains consider their enemies heroes.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      September 18, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

      Honestly, I doubt he thinks about the meaning of his vocabulary. She’s known on campus as being a “superhero”, so that’s how he refers to her.

      • SeanR
        SeanR
        September 18, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

        Bright colors + cape = super hero
        cark colors + cowl = masked vigilante

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 18, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

          Cark Colors? So, Troubled Colors? Makes sense.

        • BenRG
          BenRG
          September 18, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

          Actually, that sounds right!

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

      He’s in panic mode, I doubt he’s thinking too much about his word choices right now.

      Now if he were trying to spin this night into a sob story for an audience later on, I could see him picking his words carefully, painting himself as a victim and Amazi-Girl as an unhinged vigilante who attacked him for no reason.

      And I just grossed myself out typing out that hypothetical scenario. Bleh.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 18, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

        There’s been a bit of that going around. Justifying evil leaving a bad taste in your mouth is a good thing. Well, last I check. Hopefully someone would let me know if it changed.

  56. Owlmirror
    Owlmirror
    September 18, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

    Uh-oh. I just realized something: Ryan was talking to someone who was presumably driving.

    Will this be Amazi-Girl vs. Car, Round 2?

    Or will it be Sal vs. Car, Round 1 (and maybe this time, AG saves her)?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 18, 2016 at 7:38 am | #

      This isn’t Amazi-girl vs car, round 2.

      …

      She went at least two rounds during the Toedad incident.

  57. Professor Fate
    Professor Fate
    September 18, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

    Boot+face+Kraboof!+pavement=road rash on face. Followed by beating and a good kick in the stones. Roofie that, assmunch!

  58. Lurkylurk
    Lurkylurk
    September 18, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

    Anyone else hear “X Gon Give It To Ya” in their heads while she kicks him?

  59. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    September 18, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

    Quick Theory. Scary Theory. Phone Guy? Ryan’s ‘Mentor’. Better people than I can elaborate.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:32 pm | #

      Perhaps I should have been a better person.

      • ety
        ety
        September 18, 2016 at 4:09 pm | #

        Yeah, not that I couldn’t see that, but I’d really rather not.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 19, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

          Yeah, kinda prone to going to dark places and all that.

  60. HiiroArana79
    HiiroArana79
    September 18, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

    Why does Scarface have a shirt that reads “out M to”. Is this apart of a code using Latin word for “out” and the Greek letter san? Where is “san” going to?

    • SeanR
      SeanR
      September 18, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

      It’s “De-San-To”. Congressman Desanto’s last name across three lines.
      I still can’t see “out M to”. To me it’s pretty clear.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        September 18, 2016 at 1:58 am | #

        He’s probably looking at it on an iPhone with a cracked screen.

        • SeanR
          SeanR
          September 18, 2016 at 2:01 am | #

          Then next time he should avoid dropping it when he’s being kicked in the head.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

      Serious or Troll?

      • HiiroArana79
        HiiroArana79
        September 18, 2016 at 5:45 am | #

        It was joke about something obvious

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 18, 2016 at 2:17 pm | #

          Not enough for me, apparently.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      September 18, 2016 at 4:41 am | #

      San Jose?

  61. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    September 18, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

    Who, oh who, are you calling Ryan? Is it someone we know? If not, is it a friend or family member? If so do they know why you’re being chased by a vigilante?

  62. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    September 18, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

    OK, so… Based on how DoA usually progresses, my bet is that things are about to get worse. Sure, it will probably eventually get better again, but before that, things will get worse.

    Therefore, we must all ensure that this never happens, by making a petition to stop this comic -right now-. That last panel shall be the final panel in DoA forever. The last thing we will remember is that Gashface got his gashy face dropkicked to the third degree by AG. That is, by definition, the Perfect Ending.

    And sure, we will miss DoA. Sure, Willis has become a true master of storytelling over the years. Sure, he would have given us a plethora of different FEELS (several of whom we didn’t even know we had) with his intricate and strange and wonderful characters. Sure, it does leave a lot of things unresolved. This is the price we must pay for ending at a Perfect Moment.

    • (((Mkvenner)))
      (((Mkvenner)))
      September 18, 2016 at 2:48 am | #

      Semester isn’t over. its only been a few weeks.

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        September 18, 2016 at 3:01 am | #

        So you’re supporting my petition, then?

        • DonDueed
          DonDueed
          September 18, 2016 at 6:58 am | #

          Reaction 1: so the next three months of buffer just contain single panels of the word “Ha!”, then?

          Reaction 2: why would the Emperor of the Internet need to call for a petition? Or to put it another way, what would God need with a spaceship?

          • anorak
            anorak
            September 18, 2016 at 7:31 am | #

            He is an emperor of the people.

        • (((Mkvenner)))
          (((Mkvenner)))
          September 18, 2016 at 8:19 pm | #

          No i’m not.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 18, 2016 at 7:40 am | #

      But then we’ll never get to see Ruth get better!

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:20 pm | #

      You may be Emperor, but Willis is God. Seemingly Old Testament version, and loves taking a bat to our feels.

  63. Shawn L.
    Shawn L.
    September 18, 2016 at 2:03 am | #

    “There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three kill. The other… [KRABOOF] …hurts.”

    • bigwig92
      bigwig92
      September 18, 2016 at 7:23 am | #

      Nice DKR reference.

  64. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 18, 2016 at 2:06 am | #

    “Hi, can I have my phone back please…? Oh! You were on a call? Who to? Let’s see… caller ID… Sir? Sir, I’ll be over to see you in a few minutes. Please remain where you are to save yourself unnecessary fear and pain.”

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:21 pm | #

      “If you want, you can run. Just means you’ll die tired.”

  65. yo.
    yo.
    September 18, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

    Thank you. So much.

    Just….thank you.

  66. Idontcarenomore
    Idontcarenomore
    September 18, 2016 at 2:17 am | #

    I hope to Hell that when she drags his sorry ass kicking and screaming to police station, that he people who saw his ‘bros’ holding her down when Ryan got ready to pound the crap out of her, will stand up and say so.

    He did steal her phone after all, good reason to chase him.

    Marcie is a security guard there: if she testifies to what she saw, that will also carry some weight I think.

    I hope.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      September 18, 2016 at 3:48 am | #

      She has no business being anywhere near the police station. She IS an illegal vigilante who is probably wanted at least formally. And she doesn’t have anything on him, as Joyce didn’t file a report, and while ‘he attacked me first’ is good enough grounds for superhero high moral ground, it’s pretty iffy by actual law – especially without any proof that she was right in dragging him over social media.

      Stealing a phone is a better charge, but I still don’t think it’s good enough to outweigh “Amazi-girl is literally illegal”

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        September 18, 2016 at 6:01 am | #

        You’d be surprised how much of what she did was perfectly legal, though.

        Sure, if she were a different color, they’d come up with a reason for it not to be, but still.

      • Lailah
        Lailah
        September 18, 2016 at 9:14 am | #

        Nothing outweighs “amazigirl is illegal”. He could have tried to murder her, and reporting him as AG would /still/ mean she gets arrested. I mean, he would be /as well/, and yes, you can’t hit someone for saying what she said or doing what she did (to Ryan), but none of that matters vis-a-vis amazi-girl’s safety in talking to the police. They’ll arrest her.

    • Joe Archer
      Joe Archer
      September 18, 2016 at 6:08 am | #

      Sal would make her night living hell if AG brought the notion of going to the cops into their activity. “That’s not how the system works.”

  67. Zatar
    Zatar
    September 18, 2016 at 2:21 am | #

    watching Ryan get his ass kicked will never not be satisfying.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:30 pm | #

      Fear the day when that happens.

  68. Aprion
    Aprion
    September 18, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

    ohhh nice intercept there

  69. acher4
    acher4
    September 18, 2016 at 2:49 am | #

    Ahhhhh…
    I feel so much better this moment. 😀
    A small anxiety attack was fuming after he got hold of her mobile.

  70. Neeks
    Neeks
    September 18, 2016 at 2:57 am | #

    Bet he’s regretting not ditching her phone right about now.

  71. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    September 18, 2016 at 3:23 am | #

    So… it wasn’t locked?

    • motorfirebox
      motorfirebox
      September 18, 2016 at 3:23 am | #

      Oh, nevermind, he’s talking on his phone. Phew.

  72. Keulan
    Keulan
    September 18, 2016 at 3:28 am | #

    Damn that last panel is awesome.

  73. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III
    Jacques Cornelius Parrot III
    September 18, 2016 at 3:28 am | #

    Catch your phone Amber! Unless you have a good case, I guess.

    • Neeks
      Neeks
      September 18, 2016 at 5:33 am | #

      Amazi-girl is prepared for everything, that’s why she has an amazi-otterbox case for her phone.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        September 18, 2016 at 8:25 am | #

        Otter-ly indestructible?

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          September 18, 2016 at 8:53 pm | #

          Amaz-er-box.

  74. Liliet
    Liliet
    September 18, 2016 at 3:34 am | #

    So… what did Amazi-girl need Sal’s phone for?…

    Also I just had an idea… Imagine: Amazi-girl is done for the night, switches back with Amber… AND SAL IS STILL AROUND.

    Cue Amber going into a panic attack, and Sal is just ???? ??????? ??????????
    :>

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      September 18, 2016 at 3:49 am | #

      Oh, probably Amber had a GPS tracking app on her phone or something? I don’t know if those are a thing but it would be weird if they weren’t.

      • ety
        ety
        September 18, 2016 at 5:13 am | #

        Yeah, depending on the phone there are all sorts of ways to manage that.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 18, 2016 at 7:37 am | #

        Pretty much every cell phone these days comes equipped with GPS. It’s useful for finding lost phones, for using map-aps to navigate, and for helping emergency services track down where a 911 call came from. There’s also a host of… less wholesome uses for that feature.

        • Tikitori
          Tikitori
          September 18, 2016 at 9:22 am | #

          Ugh, I know what you mean. My parents’ “gifted me” my dad’s iPhone for college, only to freak out everytime I wasn’t trackable at my university at night.

          I ended up just leaving my phone at my dorm whenever I went out. Eventually I got my own where they couldn’t do that. It…wasn’t a great bonding moment.

    • Tikitori
      Tikitori
      September 18, 2016 at 9:18 am | #

      Yeah, and some programs if you enter with your phone’s account will not only let you track, but sound off, lock indefinitely or even reset completely.

      She probably used Sal’s phone to enter her credentials on the website/app and just used the tracking to find Ryan.

  75. Teddae
    Teddae
    September 18, 2016 at 3:46 am | #

    WASTE HIM

  76. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 18, 2016 at 3:56 am | #

    Sal: “NO FAIR, IT WAS MY GO!!!”

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      September 18, 2016 at 8:57 am | #

      No, Sal delivered the punch last time. This was Amazi-Girl’s turn. Now Sal can hit him again.

  77. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    September 18, 2016 at 4:08 am | #

    Knock some teeth out, Amazi-Girl!

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:24 pm | #

      He still has unbroken bones in his skull! NOT HARD ENOUGH!

  78. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    September 18, 2016 at 4:35 am | #

    She kicked him straight out of the panel! He’d better stay away from the comments; he’ll wish he was back up in the comic.

  79. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    September 18, 2016 at 5:28 am | #

    Amber used High Jump Kick!
    Critical hit!

  80. HiiroArana79
    HiiroArana79
    September 18, 2016 at 5:59 am | #

    What if this beating leads Scarface to do something worse next time. I mean he is a piece of shit. But, I see him being able to play the victim after a vigilante beats him up. I keep thinking of the issue of Spawn when he punished a man for beating his kids only for the man to return to tak it all out on the kids.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 9:41 am | #

      The blame would be entirely on Ryan for being a piece of shit.

  81. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    September 18, 2016 at 6:24 am | #

    Well, that was faster than I thought it was going to be.

  82. Zellgato
    Zellgato
    September 18, 2016 at 6:57 am | #

    Uh oh. He probably has backup coming now.
    Still waiting for that weapon to show up somewhere.

  83. DonDueed
    DonDueed
    September 18, 2016 at 7:04 am | #

    AG shouldn’t be biting her lip like that. She could give herself a nasty cut upon kraboofing.

  84. Toby
    Toby
    September 18, 2016 at 7:11 am | #

    Assuming he gets out of this and wants to press charges, he may not know who AG is, but he does know Sal 🙁

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 18, 2016 at 12:58 pm | #

      Does he? He didn’t exactly get a name. True, there’s exactly one person on the security team who knows who Sal is, but I’m guess that Marcie will sacrifice her job before she talks.

      • Shadowypenguin
        Shadowypenguin
        September 18, 2016 at 1:23 pm | #

        Yeah I don’t see Marcie talking

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 18, 2016 at 2:27 pm | #

          Shrugging I do see.

  85. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    September 18, 2016 at 7:38 am | #

    Biff, baff, boff … kraboof!!

    One-hundred-and-eighty!

    Sid Waddell and the Crafty Cockney would be proud!

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      September 18, 2016 at 7:43 am | #

      BULL’S EYE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRef1-6imT8

  86. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    September 18, 2016 at 8:53 am | #

    Ryan’s “friend” seems reluctant to offer the little shit shelter.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 18, 2016 at 12:59 pm | #

      If someone called me up past midnight on a school night babbling nonsense about being beaten up by a superhero and saying I needed to come get them this minute, I’d probably be reluctant too.

      • Willoughby Chase
        Willoughby Chase
        September 18, 2016 at 2:27 pm | #

        True, but whoever they were, they were reluctant before Ryan drew the superhero card, which he seems to think makes his plight more urgent.

        He was right, in that case.

  87. Clif
    Clif
    September 18, 2016 at 9:30 am | #

    No one is asking where Sal is while the Kraboof! is going on.

    • darkoneko
      darkoneko
      September 18, 2016 at 9:31 am | #

      Sal smokes, probably is lagging a bit behind.

      • fogel
        fogel
        September 18, 2016 at 3:50 pm | #

        Stopped to light up, eh?

        • darkoneko
          darkoneko
          September 18, 2016 at 4:50 pm | #

          Smokers have trouble with oxygen intaking during prolonged efforts, yo.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 18, 2016 at 9:34 am | #

      Might’ve turned back to explain herself to Marcie

  88. Makkabee
    Makkabee
    September 18, 2016 at 9:33 am | #

    That’s a very satisfying kraboof.

  89. jonathan
    jonathan
    September 18, 2016 at 11:36 am | #

    I am thrilled with “KRABOOF!”

  90. Paul
    Paul
    September 18, 2016 at 11:46 am | #

    So instead of using the phone to figure out who amazi-girl is and get her arrested for her vigilante actions he just phones a friend?

    I hope that Amazi-girl has a burner phone she uses for vigilante work that can’t be connected to Amber’s phone records.

    Among other things, it would allow certain trusted individuals to call Amazigirl on the Amaziphone without revealing her identity, just like certain other superheroes that we know.

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 12:52 pm | #

      Amazi-Girl said her phone is screen-locked, so he likely couldn’t get into it. Look at the panels again. He’s speaking into his own phone in his right hand while carrying Amber’s blue phone in his left. His chief concern seems to be getting the photo away from her so she couldn’t post it online.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 18, 2016 at 2:29 pm | #

      Well asking the audience didn’t really work out so well for him.

  91. raker
    raker
    September 18, 2016 at 12:57 pm | #

    Missed opportunity. This strip should have been titled “Kraboof”, but, um, yeah, sure, “listen to me” is almost as good. Ahem.

  92. KingOfGreyfell
    KingOfGreyfell
    September 18, 2016 at 1:30 pm | #

    KRABOOF

  93. Deviant
    Deviant
    September 18, 2016 at 3:40 pm | #

    Mmm. This makes me think of Might Guy in Naruto.

    DYNAMIC ENTRYYYY!

  94. Anywhere
    Anywhere
    September 18, 2016 at 4:35 pm | #

    That satisfying KRABOOF.

  95. Tenn
    Tenn
    September 18, 2016 at 5:12 pm | #

    Re: Alt text

    If you’re doing it wrong, you just jump straight up, then attack while pressing “Down”.

  96. Bizzarro
    Bizzarro
    September 18, 2016 at 8:49 pm | #

    Calling it – phone WASN’T locked,and when AZG goes to turn him in, he threatens to expose her and she’s forced to let him go for story contrivance.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      September 18, 2016 at 10:53 pm | #

      She’s not planning on turning him in, though.

      And if she can’t put him online, what’s to stop her from making him literally unable to commit the crime again?

  97. chris73
    chris73
    September 18, 2016 at 8:49 pm | #

    Dare I say this is one of the (very) rare situations where we get a satisfying comic strip that doesn’t lead to further heartbreak?

    I mean I likes the drama and all but sometimes its nice to see people get a win as well

    Especially Amazi-girl

  98. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    September 18, 2016 at 8:58 pm | #

    “I went to the rock to hide my face,
    but the rock cried out, “NO HIDING PLACE!
    No hiding place down here!”

  99. Kingmonster
    Kingmonster
    September 18, 2016 at 9:35 pm | #

    Sometimes in life…Crit happens.

    (I may or may have not made this joke here before)

    Also…FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

    • Kingmonster
      Kingmonster
      September 18, 2016 at 9:37 pm | #

      Actually, no.

      It’s more of a BOOT TO DA’ HEAD!

      My bad.

  100. SeanR
    SeanR
    September 18, 2016 at 10:00 pm | #

    I just had a thought.
    The best punishment, would be a running brand and legible handwriting.
    And the word “TƧIϤAЯ” appearing on his forehead every time he looks in the mirror.

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn
      September 18, 2016 at 11:59 pm | #

      Somebody needs to call Aldo Raine in.

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