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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7d
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 20d
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Katie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Hunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
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(he/him)
⚧
oh
…
Tomorrow’s Comic: http://rebloggy.com/post/gifs-mine-edit-dp-onna-dpedit-mine-dp-chiyuki-death-parade-decim-i-m-having-so/114178126692
And that’s why I took Latin in school.
okay but, like, seriously, just because a drink’s called “memento mori” doesn’t mean it’ll kill you
see also: irish car bomb, kamikaze, sex on the beach
It just means that they’ll TRY.
And thus Jason’s new career path begins.
Called it.
I mean, I was like the second or third person yesterday to call it, but still… called it.
“yay” **saves tiny flag**
Exactly. And this exact reasoning will absolutely work on Galasso.
I’m not sure that tending bar can qualify you for an H1-B visa.
The grad school does that for him…the bar will keep him in housing and food and clothes until his school/visa runs out.
well, if it’s a student visa, it’s more like F-1 OPT
This person needs a tag
Seconded!
Cosima just popped into my head.
Cosima Politan?
She has a mute sister named Neo.
… thanks to a binge-enabling friend, as of two weeks ago I get that reference.
I don’t. is it something I should watch?
’tis a reference to RWBY, a free YouTube animated series originally created by the late Monty Oum; one of the characters introduced in the second season is named Neopolitan, though often called Neo for short.
If you’re interested, I’d recommend watching the four canonical “color-themed” trailers first (RWBY Red Trailer, RWBY White Trailer, RWBY Black Trailer, and RWBY Yellow Trailer – all four of them together add up to something like 15 minutes of screentime) to get something of an introduction to the protagonists, and if it seems interesting, try watching up to episode 8 of the first season to get a feel for the series. The first season’s animation is a little wonky due to early budgetary issues at the time (and the crew suffered a major setback when series creator Monty Oum passed during production of the third season), but it’s still a series I’d recommend.
oh, I watch rwby, I didn’t remember that character though.
“wonky” is a bit of an understatement.
when I first found it, I thought I was watching a highschool project from someone with a lot of potential. 
The trailers reveal less about character personalities or even genre, and more about their fighting styles and weapons. (OMG the weapons. The weapons are like half the fun of RWBY. Well, okay, a third of the fun.) That said, each trailer is fairly canonical. They’re not essential to watch, but they get alluded to throughout the main series and are fun watches. Just don’t expect fights like that every episode.
Volume 2 had some pretty wonky artwork too, especially clipping issues. Artwork, story, directing, blocking, and screenwriting all make major leaps forward each season, with the exception of fight choreography which was strong from the beginning but IMO relatively weak in the first half of Volume 3, but only relatively. Volume 1, Episode 8 does set the bar pretty damn high.
Also, be warned (vague spoilers follow, so avert your eyes from this paragraph if that bugs you), Cerebus Syndrome bites hard during Volume 3, almost to the point where it starts feeling like a different show. Rooster Teeth created the RWBY Chibi series (silly, light-hearted, non-canonical comedy shorts) almost as a sort of therapy for fans following the end of 3, with each season of Chibi interspersed with each volume of the main series after that. It’s a good palette-cleanser after Volume 3, and if you find that 3 drained your will to live you might consider a season of Chibi before giving up on the main series.
whose twin makes really good pizza
No Cosima ever. Wagner ruined the name.
First random name that came to mind was Sharisa.
Scientists say that by the year 2070, 99% of the cast will work at Galasso’s… and they’ll be starting the Spring semester
This is all a longterm plan to get everyone working for him. Then Shortpacked 2.0 can start.
And then the comments are full of people complaining that spring semesters aren’t a real thing and that Willis is a strawman.
And then Galasso starts selling Transformers and Batman.
He already subtly changed the sign outside to read Galasso’s Pizza (and booze).
Maybe sooner than that! January 2070 would put us sometime in July at the 1:66.67 pace.
Bowties are cool. Even if you’re tending bar.
Yeah, ‘a man with a bowtie is clearly supposed to be here’ is a pretty good summation of the 11th Doctor’s run.
Threatened, briefly, by a fez.
Oh man, I hope this scene isn’t threatened (no matter how briefly) by a fez…I mean Faz. *gulp*
You spill/ splash on them less than a regular tie. Makes sense and fashion sennce.
Jason could be looking at Walky in the last panel, but I also see it as a fourth wall break.
He stares into my soul.
He’s waiting for you to order.
“I don’t drink,” I say.
Still, he stares.
And stares.
“I’ll…have an alcohol, please,” I tell him.
“Virgin Screwdriver, thanks.”
“Um. That’s just orange juice.”
“Don’t tell me how to not order liquor!”
Protip: Every bar has Coke and a variety of fruit juices available.
I don’t drink pop, either. I do generally get a virgin pina colada, if I’m at such a place for some reason. You don’t actually have to explain how bars work.
I’m with you. No pop, no coffee/tea, very very little alcohol (I’m talking sips of wine or beer, like a shot at most).
I drink coffee beverages sometimes, in large part because I find I get more done when I’m working on things at a coffee shop. I’m about equally likely to get hot chocolate if I’m not particularly tired, though.
My preferred drink is water. I always find it strange when people say they don’t like water. I mean, for me it’s more of a convenience thing, but it just seems strange to me that some people have a negative opinion on drinking water.
(If it’s a certain kind of water, I can understand– the water at my university, for instance, had way too much iron in it for my taste. In some places it would remind me of the taste of blood.)
I hate alcohol, but have found that if I’m in a social situation where I’d be looked at oddly if I didn’t have a drink, ordering a Jack and Coke is at least palatable and doesn’t make me look like a kid drinking his first drink.
there’s a lot of different bad tastes that water can have depending on where it’s from. plus, when you’re used to carbonated stuff, water seems incredibly boring in comparison. I sometimes add a dash of lime juice to make it more palatable.
(ps: fruit juice is not pop.)
I’m a milk/apple juice/lemonade/water sort of person, so believe me I get it.
Yeah, I understand that, which is why I specifically made note of it in my comment. It’s more people of the “water is boring” variety that I find strange.
(PS: I didn’t say that it was. I was referring to the Coke part and went on to mention ordering a drink that is made with fruit juice.)
eh, it’s how tastebuds work. you flood them with overstimulating things on a regular basis, and blander things will produce a “what is this crap!?” reaction.
@Wright: Mostly I just think it sucks that there are social situations where one’s looked at oddly for not having a drink. I mean, I’ve definitely gotten that, but I just don’t drink and deal with it. Those societal pressures to drink when you don’t really want to (and as part of that, to spend money on something you don’t want) are unpleasant.
Water is delicious. Mmmm, life juice.
@Yumi: Yeah, societal pressures are one thing, and employer pressures are another. I am sometimes in situations in which you take the client out for a meal, or network with potential clients. And while there’s never any expectation that you get a drink, it makes things awkward if you’re suddenly the “teetotaler” in the group. Questions get asked, and ‘Oh, I just never drink’ sounds like you’re silently saying ‘and I’m better than you.’ So I just shut up and get the Jack and Coke.
ack, that sucks :/
“You lot wanted shenanigans. I hope you’re happy.”
Delerius.
I want Galasso to give him the job, out of outrage that the actual bartender is truant.
Maybe they’re on a bathroom break or another kind of break?
I assume he’ll get the job because Galasso is impressed by his audacity in “overthrowing” the prior bartender.
yeah, that tracks
I really hope that happens tbh, also that he works drunk like Mike did at his other job. He’s honestly nicer and more pleasant to be around when drunk.
Wait. Is he basically a bowtie wearing English version of Mike?
No. Mike is a force of nature and would only wear a bow tie to screw with your mind. Or your mom, but only for a nickle.
So, by the end of Dumbing of Age, everyone will be working in Galsso’s Pizza n Booze…
…as careers post college go these days, that sounds like a group of success stories.
…I’d kinda figured this was a beer-and-wine place.
*plays “One Bourbon, One Scotch And One Beer” on the hacked Muzak*
… I mean unless he screws a customer while they’re shitfaced, this should work.
I feel the need to remind you that Sal literally said “You’ll do,” stripped and THEN they screwed.
He had a lapse of judgement when presented with breasts (a common failing). There has never been any suggestion he’s ever taken advantage of anybody.
I assume by the phrase ‘they’re shitfaced’ that Regalli meant Jason and the customer would both be equally drunk.
It’s really more the whole ‘that’s the only time a power imbalance would come into play as a bartender’ thing. A lapse of judgment is still a pretty big deal when it turns out you were being propositioned for better grades, because once you’ve done that there’s no good way out.
Ah, okay, yeah, that would be yet another messed up thing to do.
*pulls out oversized bottle of vodka*
*sets down glass*
*spills vodka all over the table*
*passes out*
LIfe crisis averted. Jason got a new job.
Given Galasso’s immediate hiring of Becky, I would imagine he’d have no problems hiring Jason if he actually knows how to make the drinks.
Probably even if he doesn’t know how, honestly.
Galasso’s… probably a step up from Dargon, right?
It’s a step up when you can unionize. Would be weird to accept the owner’s son in a union in his factory.
I just assume Galasso will consider having someone British working for him will qualify as expanding his empire.
The guy drinks straight liquor out of flasks. Odds are he has never ordered a mixed drink, let alone made one. Although, I suppose that depends on the thoroughness of his upper class upbringing with regards to drinking etiquette.
I drink straight liquor out of flasks. I make and drink mixed drinks as well, though I’m not real bartender level.
Different contexts. Mixed drinks don’t work so well as something you can slip into your pocket and carry with you.
Cosmos aren’t hard to make, but its a step up from rum and Coke. A bad one can be whipped up in short order. But they are a Sex in the City drink, so Jason may be clueless.
not too far off how I ended up bartending for a while.
I think I’m the first to bring it up: IRL Jason would have a lot of visa problems if he tried to work off-campus while going to school. I worked at a call center in missouri and we had a wave of international students get in trouble for that.
How soon would those visa problems come up though (especially considering that Galasso isn’t exactly the type to bother himself with paperwork)? Because if it’d take anything on the scale of weeks-to-months, it would be years in real life before it would come up in-comic.
Yeah, Galasso does not require these things, so I think Jason could at least manage working under the table there for a while.
I like to think Pamela keeps the business going, and just lets Galasso run the restaurant. It takes a lot of office paperwork to keep up with him, which explains why we’ve only seen her once so far. (Twice if you include bonus strips.)
This is Galasso’s, yes?
Congrats on your new job Jason, you’re gonna get pressganged into serving the evil overlord of pizza.
And it’s sadly a more rewarding profession than what he was doing.
I’m sure having a guy drunk off his ass bartending won’t turn out badly.
Jason had ass bartending in his flask?
He kept a couple flasks in his back pockets.
Islay single malt ass bartending, matured in a rosewood cask for 15 years. Good stuff.
One of the few tasks drunks can perform successfully is pour more drinks. It’s kind of their thing.
Just don’t ask him to do trick pours.
The entire comments section of yesterday’s page fucking called it.
Huh, this went from “Man they’re going to get in so much trouble” to ” I wonder if Galasso is going to see this drunk and end up hiring him to be the new bar tender on the spot. That be hilarious.”
I admire this strip’s gumption.
Galasso: ” Explain the meaning of this at once! ”
Jason: “uh… I’m going to be your new bartender ?”
Galasso: “Hmm, well you do look the part, very well Galasso excepts your offer of servitude ! Make sure to close this place up after happy hour.
A man with a bowtie never is late, nor is he early.
Jason can’t be a bartender! He’s not enough of a people-person to listen to others moan about their problems.
If he gets them liquored up properly they won’t care. All he has to do is listen to them complain which is what they really want and in a state of inebriation anything he tells them will sound profound because of his English accent.
But his smooth accent will convince them that what he’s saying is wise advice for whatever problems they have.
It’s be hilarious if Jason actually knows how to make that drink, and can make it while drunk as well.
Every bar has a recipe book and most cheap bars have common cocktails on a sheet taped behind the bar. Only problem I see is being Brit he will not be able to resist waxing lyrical about Rose’s Lime.
Depends on how fancy his Knightsbridge upbringing was. A 1920ties to 1950ties upbringing there would naturally have led to the ability make cocktails.
If he screws up the drink he can always say he made the English version by mistake.
…..
….. you know, I think by tending bar without the right credentials, Jason’s breaking more laws than he has at any point in the strip to date.
You need some sort of license to mix drinks in the USA?
depends on the state but yes you can get a bartending license …… pretty much showing you how to make like the 50 or so most popular drinks and the technical aspects of bartending … But what the real point of it is educating you in the health and alcohol laws of your state
And take away the license (and your job) if you serve people illegally (underage or over the limit).
Also, you need permission from the person who owns the establishment.
Because you can always get a little bit deeper in shit than you already are. If you really, really want to.
Galasso is totally going to hire him.
And won’t Jason just LOVE to be the only straight man at that madhouse.
How Jason got a new job or why everything good that happens to everyone in this strip is somehow down to Walky.
So Becky and Jason find themselves working for Big G.
Is everyone not from Shortpacked going to end up working for this Galasso like a sort of reverse Shortpacked.
No not the happy reverse Shortpacked, that already exists.
Despite all the problems his immaturity creates in his classes, Walky is genuinely very clever.
“And now it is literally (puts her cash in his pocket) my business. Drink up me harties.”
I love the amount of characterization the random bystander gets by just that one line. “I come here… at a rate that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”
Why would anyone make GALASSOS’ their standard water hole? Why being coy about it rather than bragging about it? What’s the story?
Yeah, someone probably has a pretty high self-image if he needs to get defensive about coming to a table service family-run pizza restaurant!
Jason goes down a career route of Jeeves, and Walker is, and this is a rum-do, what, Worcester!
What-ho!
and verily on that day Walky did discover his calling as the premier headhungdr cor the comically unemployed.
Pfff, he’s not a cute middle school girl. Sorry, David, DoA is still not on the level of Hinamatsuri. You’re getting close, but Hinamatsuri is perfection, so it can’t be achieved that easily.
I feel like the next few strips are going to revolve less around Galasso’s hijinks, and more around the consequences and fines of America’s very strict alcohol laws.
Yeah… I’m a sommelier/bartender, it would be very NOT GOOD if an inspector walked in right about now. I’m not sure of all of Indiana’s laws, though I know they used to require bartenders to take a course and get a license.
I just know that even here in Nevada, even being a fairly liberal state in regards to alcohol, you need to have an AAT (Alcohol Awareness Training) certification and proof of it *on your person* when serving or selling alcohol or you can be arrested, fined, barred from getting said certification for life, and the business you work for can lose their liquor sale license.
Jason’s defence would be, of course, that he isn’t an employee of Galasso’s nor has he ever claimed to be. Others made that assumption and, to avoid a socially embarrassing incident, he played along. Not the smartest thing to do but proving intent to break the law could be difficult.
No, see, with the bar unattended and Jason serving drinks (regardless of intent) there are very serious alcohol offenses being done in a moment. Not being an employee makes it worse. I don’t think the Law would care one iota that he was avoiding social embarrassment.
breaking the law unintentionally is still breaking the law. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorantia_juris_non_excusat
As a German, I can only stare in amazement at the laws around alcohol in the US. A country that allows people to buy assault rifles for no reason at all restricts alcoholic beverages in a totally fine-grained way? The mind boggles.
In Germany, laws pertaining to alcohol state what can be sold to which age group (nothing until they are 16, no hard liquor until they are 18) and in theory, you can get fined for not acertaining age, but in rarely happens.
The bar or restaurant needs a license to serve alcohol and if you serve alcoholic beverages, you have to serve at least one non-alcoholic beverage that is cheaper or at the same price as the cheapest alcoholic beverage (for the same amount).
The property owner is liable for educating employees about age restrictions.
You are far more likely to get in trouble over bad hygiene practices or employing moonlighters.
Most of these byzantine laws were set up around 1933, when Prohibition was repealed. It was to distribute control.
Making, selling, and drinking alcohol was illegal (and unconstitutional) in the us for 13 years nearly a century ago.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eighteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution
That sounds actually more fine grained in many ways.
Like, I don’t think we usually have any distinction between beer/wine and hard liquor, at least in terms of age.
There are some more rules on licensing to sell maybe – though I don’t know of anything about “must sell something non-alcoholic”. That sounds weird to me. Never seen a place that didn’t – they’d have mixers, if nothing else.
I guess it’s all on what you’re used to. Different rules sound strange.
the non-alcoholic drink law is probably to cut down on alcohol poisoning.
In Canada, whenever I’m at a bar I’ve always been able to get free water easily to stay hydrated (very improtant when you mix drinking and dancing). But in europe, water wasn’t always free, and I had to specifically ask for non-carbonated (which I think one time wasn’t even *available*, like, the bar did not have plumbing or something), and if I went and filled up my waterbottle in the bathroom I’d get dirty looks from the staff.
A lot of the licencing in the US is at the state level, and laws are many times also at the local (county/town/village) level. Where I live, there is a cap on the number of liquor licenses available by the state, per county. So rather than just a paperwork exercise, the liquor licenses become very valuable, and can sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Kinda like taxi medallions in New York City (before Uber).
Local ordinances also cover open/close times, which days bars can be open, etc. Depending on where you live, you may still be in a “dry” county (alcohol still illegal).
Actually, in the 1980 and 1990ties, there were pubs and bars that sold 1/2l of beer for 2,50 and 0,2 of soft drink for 2,50, so not drinking beer was way more expensive then drinking beer.
Since this contributed to people starting to dring beer early on, the law was created. Tap water for free is something you only get in the more fancy restaurants, not in a pub.
I think the distinction between hard liquor and beer quite sensible, because hard liquor gets you falling down drunk so much faster. It’s hard to exceed 2 promille by beer alone.
Poor lady doesn’t even get a tag.
A one-off straight-line feeder doesn’t typically get a tag… or even a name!
When she becomes an occasional recurrer, the tag “Voda Cranbury” will be added to this strip.
I nominate Rae Guillory in honor of how often she comes in.
In the immortal words of Homestuck… “Who’s this douchebag?”
Zoosmell Pooplord
crap i was right
This is either going to be funny, or tragic.
knowing galasso he’s hired lmao
Poor Imao, he’s had his job usurped by Jason.
Walky:”Cosmopolitan, please!”
Jason: “I’m what??“