Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 1, 2026

Cosmopolitan

by David M Willis on April 30, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Faz Is Great
└ Tags: jason, walky

Discussion (140) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    April 30, 2018 at 12:01 am | #

    oh

    …

    Tomorrow’s Comic: http://rebloggy.com/post/gifs-mine-edit-dp-onna-dpedit-mine-dp-chiyuki-death-parade-decim-i-m-having-so/114178126692

    • K^2
      K^2
      April 30, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

      And that’s why I took Latin in school.

      • butts
        butts
        April 30, 2018 at 2:48 am | #

        okay but, like, seriously, just because a drink’s called “memento mori” doesn’t mean it’ll kill you

        see also: irish car bomb, kamikaze, sex on the beach

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          April 30, 2018 at 9:00 am | #

          It just means that they’ll TRY.

  2. MM
    MM
    April 30, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    And thus Jason’s new career path begins.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      April 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Called it.
      I mean, I was like the second or third person yesterday to call it, but still… called it.
      “yay” **saves tiny flag**

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      April 30, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

      Exactly. And this exact reasoning will absolutely work on Galasso.

    • ahecht
      ahecht
      April 30, 2018 at 10:22 am | #

      I’m not sure that tending bar can qualify you for an H1-B visa.

      • ruhrow
        ruhrow
        April 30, 2018 at 9:03 pm | #

        The grad school does that for him…the bar will keep him in housing and food and clothes until his school/visa runs out.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          April 30, 2018 at 10:56 pm | #

          well, if it’s a student visa, it’s more like F-1 OPT

  3. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    April 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    This person needs a tag

    • Wright
      Wright
      April 30, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

      Seconded!

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      April 30, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

      Cosima just popped into my head.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        April 30, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

        Cosima Politan?

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          April 30, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

          She has a mute sister named Neo.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            April 30, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

            … thanks to a binge-enabling friend, as of two weeks ago I get that reference.

            • Inahc
              Inahc
              April 30, 2018 at 9:36 pm | #

              I don’t. is it something I should watch? 🙂

              • King Daniel
                King Daniel
                April 30, 2018 at 10:19 pm | #

                ’tis a reference to RWBY, a free YouTube animated series originally created by the late Monty Oum; one of the characters introduced in the second season is named Neopolitan, though often called Neo for short.

                If you’re interested, I’d recommend watching the four canonical “color-themed” trailers first (RWBY Red Trailer, RWBY White Trailer, RWBY Black Trailer, and RWBY Yellow Trailer – all four of them together add up to something like 15 minutes of screentime) to get something of an introduction to the protagonists, and if it seems interesting, try watching up to episode 8 of the first season to get a feel for the series. The first season’s animation is a little wonky due to early budgetary issues at the time (and the crew suffered a major setback when series creator Monty Oum passed during production of the third season), but it’s still a series I’d recommend. 🙂

                • Inahc
                  Inahc
                  April 30, 2018 at 10:53 pm | #

                  oh, I watch rwby, I didn’t remember that character though.

                  “wonky” is a bit of an understatement. 🙂 when I first found it, I thought I was watching a highschool project from someone with a lot of potential. 😉

                • Reltzik
                  Reltzik
                  April 30, 2018 at 10:57 pm | #

                  The trailers reveal less about character personalities or even genre, and more about their fighting styles and weapons. (OMG the weapons. The weapons are like half the fun of RWBY. Well, okay, a third of the fun.) That said, each trailer is fairly canonical. They’re not essential to watch, but they get alluded to throughout the main series and are fun watches. Just don’t expect fights like that every episode.

                  Volume 2 had some pretty wonky artwork too, especially clipping issues. Artwork, story, directing, blocking, and screenwriting all make major leaps forward each season, with the exception of fight choreography which was strong from the beginning but IMO relatively weak in the first half of Volume 3, but only relatively. Volume 1, Episode 8 does set the bar pretty damn high.

                  Also, be warned (vague spoilers follow, so avert your eyes from this paragraph if that bugs you), Cerebus Syndrome bites hard during Volume 3, almost to the point where it starts feeling like a different show. Rooster Teeth created the RWBY Chibi series (silly, light-hearted, non-canonical comedy shorts) almost as a sort of therapy for fans following the end of 3, with each season of Chibi interspersed with each volume of the main series after that. It’s a good palette-cleanser after Volume 3, and if you find that 3 drained your will to live you might consider a season of Chibi before giving up on the main series.

          • butts
            butts
            April 30, 2018 at 2:49 am | #

            whose twin makes really good pizza

      • Khno
        Khno
        April 30, 2018 at 5:51 am | #

        No Cosima ever. Wagner ruined the name.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      April 30, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

      First random name that came to mind was Sharisa.

  4. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    April 30, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Scientists say that by the year 2070, 99% of the cast will work at Galasso’s… and they’ll be starting the Spring semester

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      April 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      This is all a longterm plan to get everyone working for him. Then Shortpacked 2.0 can start.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      April 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      And then the comments are full of people complaining that spring semesters aren’t a real thing and that Willis is a strawman.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        April 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

        And then Galasso starts selling Transformers and Batman.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          April 30, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

          He already subtly changed the sign outside to read Galasso’s Pizza (and booze).

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      April 30, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

      Maybe sooner than that! January 2070 would put us sometime in July at the 1:66.67 pace.

  5. Kensou
    Kensou
    April 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Bowties are cool. Even if you’re tending bar.

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      April 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      Yeah, ‘a man with a bowtie is clearly supposed to be here’ is a pretty good summation of the 11th Doctor’s run.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        April 30, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

        Threatened, briefly, by a fez.

        • ruhrow
          ruhrow
          April 30, 2018 at 9:05 pm | #

          Oh man, I hope this scene isn’t threatened (no matter how briefly) by a fez…I mean Faz. *gulp*

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      April 30, 2018 at 3:25 pm | #

      You spill/ splash on them less than a regular tie. Makes sense and fashion sennce.

  6. Yumi
    Yumi
    April 30, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Jason could be looking at Walky in the last panel, but I also see it as a fourth wall break.

    He stares into my soul.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      April 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      He’s waiting for you to order.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        April 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

        “I don’t drink,” I say.

        Still, he stares.

        And stares.

        “I’ll…have an alcohol, please,” I tell him.

        • Stellar
          Stellar
          April 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

          “Virgin Screwdriver, thanks.”
          “Um. That’s just orange juice.”
          “Don’t tell me how to not order liquor!”

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          April 30, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

          Protip: Every bar has Coke and a variety of fruit juices available.

          • Yumi
            Yumi
            April 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

            I don’t drink pop, either. I do generally get a virgin pina colada, if I’m at such a place for some reason. You don’t actually have to explain how bars work.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              April 30, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

              I’m with you. No pop, no coffee/tea, very very little alcohol (I’m talking sips of wine or beer, like a shot at most).

              • Yumi
                Yumi
                April 30, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

                I drink coffee beverages sometimes, in large part because I find I get more done when I’m working on things at a coffee shop. I’m about equally likely to get hot chocolate if I’m not particularly tired, though.

              • Yumi
                Yumi
                April 30, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

                My preferred drink is water. I always find it strange when people say they don’t like water. I mean, for me it’s more of a convenience thing, but it just seems strange to me that some people have a negative opinion on drinking water.

                (If it’s a certain kind of water, I can understand– the water at my university, for instance, had way too much iron in it for my taste. In some places it would remind me of the taste of blood.)

                • Wright
                  Wright
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

                  I hate alcohol, but have found that if I’m in a social situation where I’d be looked at oddly if I didn’t have a drink, ordering a Jack and Coke is at least palatable and doesn’t make me look like a kid drinking his first drink.

                • Inahc
                  Inahc
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

                  there’s a lot of different bad tastes that water can have depending on where it’s from. plus, when you’re used to carbonated stuff, water seems incredibly boring in comparison. I sometimes add a dash of lime juice to make it more palatable.

                  (ps: fruit juice is not pop.)

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

                  I’m a milk/apple juice/lemonade/water sort of person, so believe me I get it.

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

                  Yeah, I understand that, which is why I specifically made note of it in my comment. It’s more people of the “water is boring” variety that I find strange.

                  (PS: I didn’t say that it was. I was referring to the Coke part and went on to mention ordering a drink that is made with fruit juice.)

                • Inahc
                  Inahc
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

                  eh, it’s how tastebuds work. you flood them with overstimulating things on a regular basis, and blander things will produce a “what is this crap!?” reaction. 🙂

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  April 30, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

                  @Wright: Mostly I just think it sucks that there are social situations where one’s looked at oddly for not having a drink. I mean, I’ve definitely gotten that, but I just don’t drink and deal with it. Those societal pressures to drink when you don’t really want to (and as part of that, to spend money on something you don’t want) are unpleasant.

                • Rowen Morland
                  Rowen Morland
                  April 30, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

                  Water is delicious. Mmmm, life juice.

                • Wright
                  Wright
                  April 30, 2018 at 10:47 am | #

                  @Yumi: Yeah, societal pressures are one thing, and employer pressures are another. I am sometimes in situations in which you take the client out for a meal, or network with potential clients. And while there’s never any expectation that you get a drink, it makes things awkward if you’re suddenly the “teetotaler” in the group. Questions get asked, and ‘Oh, I just never drink’ sounds like you’re silently saying ‘and I’m better than you.’ So I just shut up and get the Jack and Coke.

                • Inahc
                  Inahc
                  April 30, 2018 at 9:38 pm | #

                  ack, that sucks :/

    • MM
      MM
      April 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      “You lot wanted shenanigans. I hope you’re happy.”

      • Clif
        Clif
        May 1, 2018 at 11:22 am | #

        Delerius.

  7. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    April 30, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    I want Galasso to give him the job, out of outrage that the actual bartender is truant.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Maybe they’re on a bathroom break or another kind of break?

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      April 30, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      I assume he’ll get the job because Galasso is impressed by his audacity in “overthrowing” the prior bartender.

      • Waffliesinyoface
        Waffliesinyoface
        April 30, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

        yeah, that tracks

      • Marisa Mockery
        Marisa Mockery
        April 30, 2018 at 1:21 am | #

        I really hope that happens tbh, also that he works drunk like Mike did at his other job. He’s honestly nicer and more pleasant to be around when drunk.

        Wait. Is he basically a bowtie wearing English version of Mike?

        • Clif
          Clif
          May 1, 2018 at 11:25 am | #

          No. Mike is a force of nature and would only wear a bow tie to screw with your mind. Or your mom, but only for a nickle.

  8. Stellar
    Stellar
    April 30, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    So, by the end of Dumbing of Age, everyone will be working in Galsso’s Pizza n Booze…

    …as careers post college go these days, that sounds like a group of success stories.

  9. Raen
    Raen
    April 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    …I’d kinda figured this was a beer-and-wine place.

  10. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    April 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    *plays “One Bourbon, One Scotch And One Beer” on the hacked Muzak*

  11. Regalli
    Regalli
    April 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    … I mean unless he screws a customer while they’re shitfaced, this should work.

    • John Smith
      John Smith
      April 30, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      I feel the need to remind you that Sal literally said “You’ll do,” stripped and THEN they screwed.

      He had a lapse of judgement when presented with breasts (a common failing). There has never been any suggestion he’s ever taken advantage of anybody.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        April 30, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        I assume by the phrase ‘they’re shitfaced’ that Regalli meant Jason and the customer would both be equally drunk.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          April 30, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

          It’s really more the whole ‘that’s the only time a power imbalance would come into play as a bartender’ thing. A lapse of judgment is still a pretty big deal when it turns out you were being propositioned for better grades, because once you’ve done that there’s no good way out.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            April 30, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

            Ah, okay, yeah, that would be yet another messed up thing to do.

  12. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    April 30, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    *pulls out oversized bottle of vodka*

    *sets down glass*

    *spills vodka all over the table*

    *passes out*

  13. Ivy
    Ivy
    April 30, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    LIfe crisis averted. Jason got a new job.

  14. Laladoria
    Laladoria
    April 30, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Given Galasso’s immediate hiring of Becky, I would imagine he’d have no problems hiring Jason if he actually knows how to make the drinks.
    Probably even if he doesn’t know how, honestly.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      April 30, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      Galasso’s… probably a step up from Dargon, right?

      • Khno
        Khno
        April 30, 2018 at 5:57 am | #

        It’s a step up when you can unionize. Would be weird to accept the owner’s son in a union in his factory.

    • Stellar
      Stellar
      April 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

      I just assume Galasso will consider having someone British working for him will qualify as expanding his empire.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      April 30, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

      The guy drinks straight liquor out of flasks. Odds are he has never ordered a mixed drink, let alone made one. Although, I suppose that depends on the thoroughness of his upper class upbringing with regards to drinking etiquette.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        April 30, 2018 at 7:20 am | #

        I drink straight liquor out of flasks. I make and drink mixed drinks as well, though I’m not real bartender level.
        Different contexts. Mixed drinks don’t work so well as something you can slip into your pocket and carry with you.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      April 30, 2018 at 3:29 pm | #

      Cosmos aren’t hard to make, but its a step up from rum and Coke. A bad one can be whipped up in short order. But they are a Sex in the City drink, so Jason may be clueless.

  15. Inahc
    Inahc
    April 30, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    not too far off how I ended up bartending for a while. 🙂

  16. CorporateDronesHaveMissiles
    CorporateDronesHaveMissiles
    April 30, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    I think I’m the first to bring it up: IRL Jason would have a lot of visa problems if he tried to work off-campus while going to school. I worked at a call center in missouri and we had a wave of international students get in trouble for that.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      April 30, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      How soon would those visa problems come up though (especially considering that Galasso isn’t exactly the type to bother himself with paperwork)? Because if it’d take anything on the scale of weeks-to-months, it would be years in real life before it would come up in-comic.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        April 30, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

        Yeah, Galasso does not require these things, so I think Jason could at least manage working under the table there for a while.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          April 30, 2018 at 2:19 am | #

          I like to think Pamela keeps the business going, and just lets Galasso run the restaurant. It takes a lot of office paperwork to keep up with him, which explains why we’ve only seen her once so far. (Twice if you include bonus strips.)

  17. Waffliesinyoface
    Waffliesinyoface
    April 30, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    This is Galasso’s, yes?
    Congrats on your new job Jason, you’re gonna get pressganged into serving the evil overlord of pizza.

    • brasca1
      brasca1
      April 30, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

      And it’s sadly a more rewarding profession than what he was doing.

  18. Tacos
    Tacos
    April 30, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    I’m sure having a guy drunk off his ass bartending won’t turn out badly.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      April 30, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      Jason had ass bartending in his flask?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        April 30, 2018 at 2:20 am | #

        He kept a couple flasks in his back pockets.

      • davidbreslin101
        davidbreslin101
        April 30, 2018 at 8:23 am | #

        Islay single malt ass bartending, matured in a rosewood cask for 15 years. Good stuff.

    • Stellar
      Stellar
      April 30, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

      One of the few tasks drunks can perform successfully is pour more drinks. It’s kind of their thing.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        April 30, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

        Just don’t ask him to do trick pours.

  19. Johnnyo
    Johnnyo
    April 30, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

    The entire comments section of yesterday’s page fucking called it.

  20. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    April 30, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

    Huh, this went from “Man they’re going to get in so much trouble” to ” I wonder if Galasso is going to see this drunk and end up hiring him to be the new bar tender on the spot. That be hilarious.”

  21. NF
    NF
    April 30, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

    I admire this strip’s gumption.

  22. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    April 30, 2018 at 12:46 am | #

    Galasso: ” Explain the meaning of this at once! ”

    Jason: “uh… I’m going to be your new bartender ?”

    Galasso: “Hmm, well you do look the part, very well Galasso excepts your offer of servitude ! Make sure to close this place up after happy hour.

  23. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 30, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

    A man with a bowtie never is late, nor is he early.

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    April 30, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

    Jason can’t be a bartender! He’s not enough of a people-person to listen to others moan about their problems.

    • brasca1
      brasca1
      April 30, 2018 at 1:08 am | #

      If he gets them liquored up properly they won’t care. All he has to do is listen to them complain which is what they really want and in a state of inebriation anything he tells them will sound profound because of his English accent.

    • Nope
      Nope
      April 30, 2018 at 2:49 am | #

      But his smooth accent will convince them that what he’s saying is wise advice for whatever problems they have.

  25. Keulen
    Keulen
    April 30, 2018 at 1:04 am | #

    It’s be hilarious if Jason actually knows how to make that drink, and can make it while drunk as well.

    • Stellar
      Stellar
      April 30, 2018 at 3:18 am | #

      Every bar has a recipe book and most cheap bars have common cocktails on a sheet taped behind the bar. Only problem I see is being Brit he will not be able to resist waxing lyrical about Rose’s Lime.

    • CJ
      CJ
      April 30, 2018 at 12:36 pm | #

      Depends on how fancy his Knightsbridge upbringing was. A 1920ties to 1950ties upbringing there would naturally have led to the ability make cocktails.

  26. brasca1
    brasca1
    April 30, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

    If he screws up the drink he can always say he made the English version by mistake.

  27. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    April 30, 2018 at 1:40 am | #

    …..

    ….. you know, I think by tending bar without the right credentials, Jason’s breaking more laws than he has at any point in the strip to date.

    • Sunny
      Sunny
      April 30, 2018 at 3:06 pm | #

      You need some sort of license to mix drinks in the USA?

      • nightshade
        nightshade
        April 30, 2018 at 3:21 pm | #

        depends on the state but yes you can get a bartending license …… pretty much showing you how to make like the 50 or so most popular drinks and the technical aspects of bartending … But what the real point of it is educating you in the health and alcohol laws of your state

        • hof1991
          hof1991
          April 30, 2018 at 3:31 pm | #

          And take away the license (and your job) if you serve people illegally (underage or over the limit).

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        April 30, 2018 at 8:41 pm | #

        Also, you need permission from the person who owns the establishment.

  28. Arianod
    Arianod
    April 30, 2018 at 1:48 am | #

    Because you can always get a little bit deeper in shit than you already are. If you really, really want to.

  29. Bagge
    Bagge
    April 30, 2018 at 1:51 am | #

    Galasso is totally going to hire him.

    And won’t Jason just LOVE to be the only straight man at that madhouse.

  30. BenRG
    BenRG
    April 30, 2018 at 2:01 am | #

    How Jason got a new job or why everything good that happens to everyone in this strip is somehow down to Walky.

    • Ned
      Ned
      April 30, 2018 at 2:28 am | #

      So Becky and Jason find themselves working for Big G.
      Is everyone not from Shortpacked going to end up working for this Galasso like a sort of reverse Shortpacked.
      No not the happy reverse Shortpacked, that already exists.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      April 30, 2018 at 2:52 am | #

      Despite all the problems his immaturity creates in his classes, Walky is genuinely very clever.

  31. Ned
    Ned
    April 30, 2018 at 2:24 am | #

    “And now it is literally (puts her cash in his pocket) my business. Drink up me harties.”

  32. Bagge
    Bagge
    April 30, 2018 at 2:41 am | #

    I love the amount of characterization the random bystander gets by just that one line. “I come here… at a rate that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”

    Why would anyone make GALASSOS’ their standard water hole? Why being coy about it rather than bragging about it? What’s the story?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      April 30, 2018 at 4:25 am | #

      Yeah, someone probably has a pretty high self-image if he needs to get defensive about coming to a table service family-run pizza restaurant!

  33. Remmington Steele
    Remmington Steele
    April 30, 2018 at 2:59 am | #

    Jason goes down a career route of Jeeves, and Walker is, and this is a rum-do, what, Worcester!

    What-ho!

  34. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    April 30, 2018 at 3:14 am | #

    and verily on that day Walky did discover his calling as the premier headhungdr cor the comically unemployed.

  35. erejnion
    erejnion
    April 30, 2018 at 3:41 am | #

    Pfff, he’s not a cute middle school girl. Sorry, David, DoA is still not on the level of Hinamatsuri. You’re getting close, but Hinamatsuri is perfection, so it can’t be achieved that easily.

  36. Iain
    Iain
    April 30, 2018 at 3:47 am | #

    I feel like the next few strips are going to revolve less around Galasso’s hijinks, and more around the consequences and fines of America’s very strict alcohol laws.

    • Incomitatus
      Incomitatus
      April 30, 2018 at 4:43 am | #

      Yeah… I’m a sommelier/bartender, it would be very NOT GOOD if an inspector walked in right about now. I’m not sure of all of Indiana’s laws, though I know they used to require bartenders to take a course and get a license.

      I just know that even here in Nevada, even being a fairly liberal state in regards to alcohol, you need to have an AAT (Alcohol Awareness Training) certification and proof of it *on your person* when serving or selling alcohol or you can be arrested, fined, barred from getting said certification for life, and the business you work for can lose their liquor sale license.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        April 30, 2018 at 6:30 am | #

        Jason’s defence would be, of course, that he isn’t an employee of Galasso’s nor has he ever claimed to be. Others made that assumption and, to avoid a socially embarrassing incident, he played along. Not the smartest thing to do but proving intent to break the law could be difficult.

        • Iain
          Iain
          April 30, 2018 at 6:48 am | #

          No, see, with the bar unattended and Jason serving drinks (regardless of intent) there are very serious alcohol offenses being done in a moment. Not being an employee makes it worse. I don’t think the Law would care one iota that he was avoiding social embarrassment.

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          April 30, 2018 at 9:25 pm | #

          breaking the law unintentionally is still breaking the law. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorantia_juris_non_excusat

      • CJ
        CJ
        April 30, 2018 at 12:28 pm | #

        As a German, I can only stare in amazement at the laws around alcohol in the US. A country that allows people to buy assault rifles for no reason at all restricts alcoholic beverages in a totally fine-grained way? The mind boggles.

        In Germany, laws pertaining to alcohol state what can be sold to which age group (nothing until they are 16, no hard liquor until they are 18) and in theory, you can get fined for not acertaining age, but in rarely happens.
        The bar or restaurant needs a license to serve alcohol and if you serve alcoholic beverages, you have to serve at least one non-alcoholic beverage that is cheaper or at the same price as the cheapest alcoholic beverage (for the same amount).
        The property owner is liable for educating employees about age restrictions.
        You are far more likely to get in trouble over bad hygiene practices or employing moonlighters.

        • Liquid Len
          Liquid Len
          April 30, 2018 at 2:37 pm | #

          Most of these byzantine laws were set up around 1933, when Prohibition was repealed. It was to distribute control.
          Making, selling, and drinking alcohol was illegal (and unconstitutional) in the us for 13 years nearly a century ago.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eighteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          April 30, 2018 at 2:53 pm | #

          That sounds actually more fine grained in many ways.
          Like, I don’t think we usually have any distinction between beer/wine and hard liquor, at least in terms of age.
          There are some more rules on licensing to sell maybe – though I don’t know of anything about “must sell something non-alcoholic”. That sounds weird to me. Never seen a place that didn’t – they’d have mixers, if nothing else.

          I guess it’s all on what you’re used to. Different rules sound strange.

          • Inahc
            Inahc
            April 30, 2018 at 9:34 pm | #

            the non-alcoholic drink law is probably to cut down on alcohol poisoning.

            In Canada, whenever I’m at a bar I’ve always been able to get free water easily to stay hydrated (very improtant when you mix drinking and dancing). But in europe, water wasn’t always free, and I had to specifically ask for non-carbonated (which I think one time wasn’t even *available*, like, the bar did not have plumbing or something), and if I went and filled up my waterbottle in the bathroom I’d get dirty looks from the staff.

          • Liquid Len
            Liquid Len
            May 1, 2018 at 9:51 am | #

            A lot of the licencing in the US is at the state level, and laws are many times also at the local (county/town/village) level. Where I live, there is a cap on the number of liquor licenses available by the state, per county. So rather than just a paperwork exercise, the liquor licenses become very valuable, and can sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Kinda like taxi medallions in New York City (before Uber).
            Local ordinances also cover open/close times, which days bars can be open, etc. Depending on where you live, you may still be in a “dry” county (alcohol still illegal).

          • CJ
            CJ
            May 1, 2018 at 4:48 pm | #

            Actually, in the 1980 and 1990ties, there were pubs and bars that sold 1/2l of beer for 2,50 and 0,2 of soft drink for 2,50, so not drinking beer was way more expensive then drinking beer.
            Since this contributed to people starting to dring beer early on, the law was created. Tap water for free is something you only get in the more fancy restaurants, not in a pub.

            I think the distinction between hard liquor and beer quite sensible, because hard liquor gets you falling down drunk so much faster. It’s hard to exceed 2 promille by beer alone.

  37. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    April 30, 2018 at 5:08 am | #

    Poor lady doesn’t even get a tag.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      April 30, 2018 at 6:31 am | #

      A one-off straight-line feeder doesn’t typically get a tag… or even a name!

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        April 30, 2018 at 1:38 pm | #

        When she becomes an occasional recurrer, the tag “Voda Cranbury” will be added to this strip.

        • 3oranges
          3oranges
          April 30, 2018 at 10:46 pm | #

          I nominate Rae Guillory in honor of how often she comes in.

  38. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    April 30, 2018 at 6:38 am | #

    In the immortal words of Homestuck… “Who’s this douchebag?”

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      April 30, 2018 at 12:26 pm | #

      Zoosmell Pooplord

  39. Nomothehomo
    Nomothehomo
    April 30, 2018 at 7:26 am | #

    crap i was right

  40. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    April 30, 2018 at 12:27 pm | #

    This is either going to be funny, or tragic.

  41. Elsendor
    Elsendor
    April 30, 2018 at 7:16 pm | #

    knowing galasso he’s hired lmao

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      April 30, 2018 at 7:52 pm | #

      Poor Imao, he’s had his job usurped by Jason.

  42. Baba Yaga
    Baba Yaga
    April 30, 2018 at 11:55 pm | #

    Walky:”Cosmopolitan, please!”
    Jason: “I’m what??“

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis!
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Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 2h
by carefully mixing 10% cream with 1% skim milk, you can unlock forbidden milk percentages the government doesn't want you to know about, like 7.725%
some milk I used to make Forbidden Percentages. I didn't mention 2% in my post though. I gotta keep some secrets
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View AND change this, if we were talking quantum mechanics
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the big disconnect that happens here is between the correct message for D politicians (especially in red states), which is “you’re right, this isn’t who you are, you’re better than that, vote differently next time” and the actual truth, which is yes you did, fuck you
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Yes, you did vote to deport moms.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Raw milk has the opportunity to do the funniest thing
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RFK Jr celebrated the release of the MAHA report by downing raw milk shooters in the White House with influencer Paul Saladino. Hazards of raw milk include Listeria, Salmonella, Campylobacter, Yersinia, E. coli O157:H7, and now-- avian flu.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
maggie, reading a strip from a year from now: oh this is so obnoxious, i love it she gets me
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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a black hoodie with hand-lettered white text reading,
a black tshirt with hand-lettered white text reading,
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a maroon tshirt with hand-lettered white text reading,
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I'm obsessed with this li'l hungry bub.
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*weird dean sounds*
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Got my pointy Galvatron slippers.
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Rolling Stone is one of the few news outlets that know how to write headlines.
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Report: Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn’t Pee Right The New York Times reports that the billionaire experienced some negative effects from frequent drug use while stumping for Trump last year
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Elon Musk's frequent use of ketamine during the 2024 campaign caused him to experience bladder problems, according to The New York Times.
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Sam Reich doing a little dance on the set of
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We need a liberal Jigsaw
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i tell ya, my wife is bi. yeah, she bi and i pay!
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we need a rodney dangerfield of the left
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YouTube video by Hulu
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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CYBERWORLD trailer! www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTsf...
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well look at her, that child was right
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which do you fuckin THINK, man
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned I can be thrown long enough over POLLY'S FIANCE IS *SIXTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN HER DAD?????* to momentarily forget to wonder HOW IS SISTER STEVEN STILL ALIVE
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welp, here we go the guy everyone's been waiting to see tfone starscream
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
still thinking of that time jerry seinfeld guest starred in the season 2 premiere of 30 rock just so he could stare directly into the camera and plug Bee Movie
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