Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 1, 2026

Wrest

by David M Willis on February 19, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Faz Is Great
└ Tags: hyde, malaya, mary

Discussion (209) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    February 19, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    She’s probably just drawing Fuckface

  2. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 19, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    So, how many days has it been without a punchable character in the strip?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 19, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      All characters are punchable if you’re Mike enough.

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      February 19, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      Faz was in the comic on Saturday.

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        February 19, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        And?

        • JetstreamGW
          JetstreamGW
          February 19, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

          So it has been one day without a punchable character.

          Just one.

          Fight. Me.

          • Emperor Norton II
            Emperor Norton II
            February 19, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

            We don’t have to fight you. We can just throw you in Our Imperial Dungeons.

            • Some1
              Some1
              February 19, 2018 at 12:51 am | #

              Hey quick question: What are you emperor of technically?

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                February 19, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

                Internet.

                All hail the Emperor.

                • 3oranges
                  3oranges
                  February 19, 2018 at 2:19 am | #

                  So, in fact, most of the realm is dungeons.

                • SgtWadeyWilson
                  SgtWadeyWilson
                  February 19, 2018 at 3:08 am | #

                  @3oranges …though there could use to be more dragons.

                • Reltzik
                  Reltzik
                  February 19, 2018 at 3:11 am | #

                  3oranges: Not really. While in the early days of the Empire there were a lot of (multi-user-) dungeons, in the past couple of decades he’s taking us in a more bread-and-circuses direction.

                • Nezumi
                  Nezumi
                  March 4, 2018 at 6:56 pm | #

                  @Reitzik: I think you’re forgetting the *other* kind of dungeon, here.

              • Clif
                Clif
                February 19, 2018 at 6:41 am | #

                Well, his predecessor, Emperor Norton 1 was rightful heir to the throne of the US/North Americas, and was widely recognized as such in the state of California. So technically that makes him emperor of you, as long as you are an American, Canadian, or Mexican citizen. Which is not to say the previous claim of Emperor of he Internet is wrong since the Internet belongs to the United States by Rights of Emmenent Domain, Manifest Destiny and First Discovery.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  February 19, 2018 at 7:05 am | #

                  Technically “Emperor of these United States and Protector of Mexico”, IIRC.

          • threePwny
            threePwny
            February 19, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

            Naw, Mary’s plenty punchable. I do like Malaya, though. I’m channeling my inner Shortpacked! to ship her and Carla

            • Emperor Norton II
              Emperor Norton II
              February 19, 2018 at 1:40 am | #

              Yeah, what i meant to write is not what I actually wrote. I meant to write:

              “How many days since last time we had a strip without a character we wanted to punch?”

              Sorry about the ensuing confusion.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      10. Faz showed up on the 9th. It was almost 2 weeks, but there were two strips of Amber and Becky alone in between that and Mike’s previous-to-yesterday appearance.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        February 19, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

        Oh, unless you meant that the way you wrote it, not how I read it…

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 19, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

          I meant it the way you read it. How the hell it ended up like I wrote it, I don’t know.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        February 19, 2018 at 3:14 am | #

        Are there still people who strongly dislike Becky?

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          February 19, 2018 at 4:21 am | #

          We threw them in the dungeons.

          • adjudicus
            adjudicus
            February 19, 2018 at 4:52 am | #

            What happens to those who dislike Dina?

            • Clif
              Clif
              February 19, 2018 at 6:47 am | #

              He fed those to the dragons.

              • Kraazivaan
                Kraazivaan
                February 20, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

                Is disliking Dina actually possible? If so, that is news to me.

            • Durandal_1707
              Durandal_1707
              February 20, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

              THEY’RE NOT DRAGONS THEY’RE DINOSAURS DRAGONS ARE MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES THAT DON’T REALLY EXIST AND ARE UNSCIENTIFIC AND

    • Jago
      Jago
      February 19, 2018 at 10:08 am | #

      Agree to disagree.

    • Beef
      Beef
      February 19, 2018 at 9:48 pm | #

      I like Malaya in this universe though 🙁

  3. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    February 19, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Never have I gone to the tags so quickly to see if the model was an existing character.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      (Checks tags)

      Oh, so Willis finally got Reagan into this comic!

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 19, 2018 at 8:01 pm | #

        I like your alternate universe. Can we live there?

    • Julez
      Julez
      February 19, 2018 at 12:54 pm | #

      GENERALLY SPEAKING, college art classes hire models who don’t attend the college. So odds would be against them being someone we know.

  4. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    February 19, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    At least Joe isn’t the model. 😛

  5. Yumi
    Yumi
    February 19, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Isn’t pride a sin, Mary?

    • Conuly
      Conuly
      February 19, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      We could ask that every time she appears, but we’ll never get an answer from her.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      By claiming her skill to be a “gift”, she’s giving the credit for her talent to God. Or at least, that’s how I read it from my perspective growing up around that type of talk.

    • MM
      MM
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      So is envy.

  6. Maveric1984
    Maveric1984
    February 19, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    So if Mary exclusively draws in manga-style, and manga is censored, does that mean she puts black bars over the naughty bits when she draws nudes?

    • nobodybasically
      nobodybasically
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      She pixelates it.

      • Pat
        Pat
        February 19, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

        That actually sounds impressive.

    • Lawzlo
      Lawzlo
      February 19, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      She just replaces it with a tentacle.

      • Koms
        Koms
        February 19, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

        Now that’s impressive

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        February 19, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

        Isn’t there a webcomic with a girl who does that, freaks out every time? Doesn’t see male genatles, just tentacles? Daniel the Human just groans & shakes his head…

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          February 19, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

          Menage a 3. Her father was a famous hentai artist known as the Tentacle King. IIRC, he modeled some of his characters on her. This left her with some serious issues.

          • threePwny
            threePwny
            February 19, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

            I’m not sure whether to be concerned that you know that, or disappointed that I didn’t

            • Delicious Taffy
              Delicious Taffy
              February 20, 2018 at 3:30 am | #

              Don’t worry, Yuki got over her phobia.

        • Dean
          Dean
          February 19, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

          It’s Yuki in Menage a 3, I think.

          • das-g
            das-g
            February 19, 2018 at 7:34 am | #

            Yes, that’d be her.

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          February 19, 2018 at 10:00 am | #

          Yuki, in Menáge à 3.

          (Adding to the general level of concern, I am among the folks here who know Yuki’s story.)

          • vividgrim
            vividgrim
            February 19, 2018 at 7:19 pm | #

            same, alas

          • Kraazivaan
            Kraazivaan
            February 20, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

            Ditto.

  7. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 19, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Is that an “I don’t really care about art, I’m just here for the credits” whatever, or an “all I can see are the flaws in my work” whatever?

    • Conuly
      Conuly
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      If she’s legitimately improved, it might be an “I don’t ever want to acknowledge I care about outside approval” whatever – but she won’t acknowledge that either.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        February 19, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

        Or it could be ‘I don’t care about your praise, my opinion is the only one that matters.’

      • Meta
        Meta
        February 19, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

        I would put my money on this one

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      February 19, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

      Malaya thinks caring about things makes people nerds.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      February 19, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

      She says this is a ‘dumb elective’ in the Patreon strips so it could be either.

    • kendermouse
      kendermouse
      February 19, 2018 at 3:01 am | #

      Given her expression, I’d say it’s an “I can see all the flaws in my work” type whatever.

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        February 19, 2018 at 4:21 am | #

        That’s my take.

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      February 19, 2018 at 10:57 am | #

      I think I’m the only one wondering if Art 101 classes include live figure models.

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 19, 2018 at 8:05 pm | #

        They are visible in the left hand side of the first panel, so apparently so.

        • Charlie Spencer
          Charlie Spencer
          February 20, 2018 at 7:18 am | #

          I phrased that poorly. I wonder if ‘real world’ 101 classes include live models. I’m told the human body is relatively difficult subject.

  8. Tacos
    Tacos
    February 19, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    So how many comments will we have about what the nude model’s name should be?

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      February 19, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Personally, I want to know the instructor’s name!

      • Koms
        Koms
        February 19, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

        The instructor looks like my prime minister but with a bald head.

        • Clif
          Clif
          February 19, 2018 at 8:07 pm | #

          I’m impressed that you own a prime minister. Not everyone can afford one.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 19, 2018 at 8:13 pm | #

            I’ve only got a time share in one, but I still tend to refer to him as mine.

          • Koms
            Koms
            February 19, 2018 at 11:56 pm | #

            He’s supposed to be a public servant. So…

      • adjudicus
        adjudicus
        February 19, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

        He kinda looks like one of the pastors at Joyce’s church

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      February 19, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

      Seedik N. Nutzak.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 19, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        Aaron D. Ballzout.

        • Screwball
          Screwball
          February 19, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

          Bob Bitz?

        • McBogue
          McBogue
          February 19, 2018 at 4:11 am | #

          Harry Johnson?

          • Aggrax
            Aggrax
            February 19, 2018 at 10:46 pm | #

            Juan Commando

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      February 19, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

      The black student in the first panel needs a name as well.

      • threePwny
        threePwny
        February 19, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

        Larry. Larry Kenobi

  9. Sionyx
    Sionyx
    February 19, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    While I would be more than happy to drop Faz into a volcano and never, ever deal with him ever again, if this is to hint that Mary and Faz are going to be stuck alone together for a while I might not complain.

    • MM
      MM
      February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Don’t tempt fate. They might actually form some kind of unholy alliance.

      • Nono
        Nono
        February 19, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

        I’m honestly dreading Faz-Carla interactions.

  10. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    https://imgur.com/a/jpoVH
    Here’s a thing I never posted.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      February 19, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      👌

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        February 19, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

        While not their current subject, I’m sure some would prefer her, including in the comments section…

    • threePwny
      threePwny
      February 19, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

      Very nice!

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 19, 2018 at 8:08 pm | #

        Indeed.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      February 19, 2018 at 2:05 am | #

      Yay, more Yoto art!

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 19, 2018 at 3:00 am | #

      I thought about saying: “good work, as always” but for some reason that phrase feels… Off to me.

      So instead I’ll say: “Whoa! What simple yet nuanced linework! This is excellent work, Yotomoe.” (I haven’t really been keeping track of your improvement, so I don’t want to lie.)

    • Clif
      Clif
      February 19, 2018 at 8:10 pm | #

      Yotomoe, when will we see you doing a Web comic?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 19, 2018 at 11:46 pm | #

        Maybe sooner than you think 😛

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      February 20, 2018 at 8:21 am | #

      How dare you not post your art, Yotomoe!

      HOW DARE YOU

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    February 19, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    *plays T.A.F.K.A. Prince’s “Party Man” on the hacked Muzak*

    • C.
      C.
      February 19, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

      He reverted back to Prince almost two decades ago.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        February 19, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

        But it’s not as fun to just call him that.

        • David DeLaney
          David DeLaney
          February 19, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

          Well, technically he once again IS T.A.F.K.A. Prince…

          –Dave, justin case

          • butting
            butting
            February 19, 2018 at 3:49 am | #

            *double-takes*

            waitaminute, dbd!? shit, I suck badly and owe you email. dammit, from ages ago. also, bloody good to see you.

            (if not dbd then no worries, just ignore this little intrusion into what you know as normality, you’ll know that the paradox has healed itself once the glow from your monitor subsides)

            • David DeLaney
              David DeLaney
              February 19, 2018 at 6:22 am | #

              yes. it is I, dbdatvic! formerly of panacea. Mua ha haaaa!!1!

              –Dave, good to see you too! & to be visible

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        February 19, 2018 at 2:03 am | #

        He’s still known as Prince, but he also used to be.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          February 19, 2018 at 3:03 am | #

          He’s The Former Artist Formerly Known as “The Artist Formerly Known as “Prince.””

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        February 19, 2018 at 7:27 pm | #

        Princeps quandam, Princepsque futurus.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        February 20, 2018 at 8:23 am | #

        Yeah, but he doesn’t spell it that way, anymore…

  12. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    February 19, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    “Faz was asked to be a live model for this class. But Faz had to refuse, because he knew the women would all go crazy if they saw his supreme manliness.”

  13. thebatman22
    thebatman22
    February 19, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    As an Art Major, can confirm this made me hate Mary even more! Congrats Willis, I didn’t think it was possible but you do it. Good on ya.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      February 19, 2018 at 3:16 am | #

      She’s always been pretty sketchy.

      • adjudicus
        adjudicus
        February 19, 2018 at 5:00 am | #

        Your puns are great. Colour me impressed

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          February 20, 2018 at 8:25 am | #

          I ‘unno, Mary seems like such a black-and-white character to me.

      • Charlie Spencer
        Charlie Spencer
        February 19, 2018 at 10:59 am | #

        I wood cut out that kind of post.

  14. Meta
    Meta
    February 19, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

    what I wanted, but didn’t know I wanted

  15. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    February 19, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Yesterday, since we went from Faz to Mike, I predicted today’s would feature Mary…I have never been so upset to be right…

  16. buddy
    buddy
    February 19, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    haha fuck mary

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 19, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      Your grav is simultaneously the least appropriate and the most appropriate grav for that comment.

      • Chronos
        Chronos
        February 19, 2018 at 3:22 am | #

        I feel like there’s a hidden physics joke in that somewhere.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      February 19, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      UNfuck Mary…

    • Koms
      Koms
      February 19, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

      Fuck Mary kill?

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        February 19, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

        *groan*

        –Dave, it’s HARD to find someone nasty enough you want to Mary them

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          February 19, 2018 at 3:06 am | #

          Nope, she’s right up there. Mary totally deserves to be Mary’d until she stops Mary-ing.

          • Sunny
            Sunny
            February 19, 2018 at 7:06 am | #

            I think that’s called a divorce.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        February 19, 2018 at 2:06 am | #

        Fuck, Mary. Kill!

        Punctuation is important!

  17. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 19, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

    Willis must love us going by the last few days.

  18. QueerCat
    QueerCat
    February 19, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

    Time to test who I hate most out of the two characters. Probably Mary. The choice is always going to be Mary

  19. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    February 19, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

    Oh, this is going to be an such and enjoyable exchange.

  20. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    February 19, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

    Yes, Malaya, ruin Mary’s life without even noticing.

  21. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    February 19, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

    1) The instructor doesn’t have a tag. This may need to be rectified.

    2) The model doesn’t have a tag. This may need to be rectified.’

    3) What kind of instructor wanders around giving subjective ratings of each student’s work without giving any useful advice?

    4) Given Willis’s background, I assume that this is yet another strip that is directly from his own experience, and that the answer to 3) above is: way too many of them.

    • lilyliv
      lilyliv
      February 19, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

      I’ve taken a grand total of 2 art classes in my entire life, and both of mine gave their students at least decent advice along with their praise, but an art major friend of mine has definitely complained about a couple of profs who did #3.

    • segnosaur
      segnosaur
      February 19, 2018 at 1:21 am | #

      Maybe the instructor is waiting until closer to the end of the class before giving anything useful. (So he can see how well the students have currently mastered the techniques, or so that he can see if the student had a specific goal in mind.)

    • Ooz
      Ooz
      February 19, 2018 at 2:03 am | #

      In the instructor’s defence, he did point out specifically what he liked about Malaya’s drawing! (Linework is a specific thing!) That’s useful, since it can be hard to know what you’re doing right when you’re doing it. Some actual critique might be more useful, but he might be saving that for later.

      In Mary’s case, it sounds like she’s just doing her normal thing. He’s probably already given critique in the past and has nothing new to say because she hasn’t improved or gotten any worse since then. In both cases, they’ll probably get a more in depth critique at the end of the lesson when everyone shows their work (that’s how it went when I was in art school, anyway).

  22. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    February 19, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

    These two could be interesting together.

  23. Ivy
    Ivy
    February 19, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

    What am I supposed to be getting out of this normal classroom exchange?

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      February 19, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

      Let’s see…

      a) Mary is being a suck-up
      ii) Mary hasn’t done much improvement since last class/week/whenever, currently plateauing at “good work”. Which, you know, isn’t BAD, but you’re supposed to be here to learn & improve.
      3) Malaya has talent, and is rapidly acquiring skill to go with it
      quatre) Malaya thinks she could do better / sees more of the flaws in her work than the good points, which is common among artists; see also Sheldon’s art/drawing friend in that webcomic
      -////-) Mary is not exactly happy that Someone Else Is Getting The Praise Here … and Malaya, who is concentrating on her work rather than eavesdropping, is blissfully unaware that she is now Target Acquired

      tl;dr – character development and new drama hooks-n-eyes

      –Dave, also I’m betting Mary’s face in this sequence is drawn better than Mary’s drawing is

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        February 19, 2018 at 1:49 am | #

        BONUS: We also see Mary attempt humble-bragging. She fails at this and makes it just plain bragging.

  24. Jengoci
    Jengoci
    February 19, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    I’m still surprized how someone with Mary’s mindset are ok doing an art major? ( ok granted I used to have very bigoted classmates at my college but not at the “fundamentalist” level of Mary’s)

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      February 19, 2018 at 3:21 am | #

      Majoring in art is ALSO how you get to be an art critic.

  25. Keulen
    Keulen
    February 19, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    Oh look, two characters I despise. And a random extra in the first panel who needs a name.

    • threePwny
      threePwny
      February 19, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

      Their classmate, or the model?

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        February 19, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

        Why not both?

  26. Some1
    Some1
    February 19, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

    Dungeons and Dumbing Part 17

    Skadi lifted Danny high into the air and held him up to her face.

    Danny: Uh…hi? Please don’t eat me?

    Skadi: You really think I would consume you? I am Skadi, Goddess of the Hunt! The slayer of demons and daughter of Luna and man!

    Danny: Wait? Your Luna’s daughter?

    Skadi: Yes, what about it?

    Skadi starts casually playing with Danny, passing him through her fingers and flipping him upside down.

    Danny: I…woah…have…waah….to…eee…meet…augh….with….ugh….her.

    Skadi stops playing with Danny and holds him up to her face.

    Skadi: You say you have to meet with the Moon Goddess, why?

    Danny: I was granted access to summon her avatar, and I need answers.

    Skadi: Hmm, well I suppose I can be convinced to help you, but I would never allow anyone weak to enter my mother’s shrine.

    Danny: What!?

    Skadi: Shhh…tell you what, if you can slay one of those beasts I killed before I will help you climb the impassable ice wall that protects my mother’s shrine.

    Danny: Okay.

    Skadi: oh, and one more thing.

    Skadi reaches down and lifts Danny’s ukulele from him. Placing it in her breast.

    Skadi: No using my mother’s magic to help you.

    Danny: Why not?

    Skadi: This is your task, can’t have you relying solely on the power of gods now can we?

    Danny: Okay I get your point.

    Skadi places Danny back on the ground

    Skadi: I know you can still hear me, so follow the tracks that lead out of here. Your lucky these beasts tend to be solitary creatures.

    Danny sighed and ran off to follow a single pair of tracks. Luckily the blizzard wasn’t so bad here and he could see in front of him.

    Danny: I wonder what everyone else is up to?

  27. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    February 19, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

    oooohh Malaya v. Mary, this will be good. i hope they stuff each other in a dumpster.

  28. kitty
    kitty
    February 19, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

    here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!

    Raamattu (Bible)

    eeeh thats all i can think of so

    have a nice day!

  29. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    February 19, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

    Maybe it’s because Mary is in the strip, but I’m being reminded of the parable of the Wayward Son.
    For those unaware,
    The parable goes roughly like this.
    A farmer has two sons.
    One doesn’t want to work on a farm for his whole life, so he asks for his inheritence so he can travel out into the world.
    He leaves and basically becomes a drunk rich party dude for the next however many minutes it takes to blow your inheritence.
    After pretty much being stupid for a while, he can’t afford food or a bed and sleeps with pigs in their pens, contemplating whether he should eat the slop they’re given to survive.
    Then thinks, “I never really had this shitty of a life when I lived back home.”
    And made the trek back home.
    The dad, sees him, slaughters a cow, spends big bucks, hires a parade, and takes out an ad in the local newspaper, happy that his son is returning home.
    Happy his son is alive.
    The older brother is a little pissed about this, because he kid brother essentially got to leave, party hard, do nothing, and still his dad is happy to see him, while diligence and hard work has never gotten a party.
    He never made his dad that happy by doing things right.
    He never got a big parade for doing the right thing.
    So he asks his dad, “What the hell? Why are you happy to see this deadbeat back in our lives?”
    And the dad essentially says, “I thought he was gone forever. I thought I’d never see him again and he would have died and we’d never know. But he’s back. He’s alive. He’s here and safe. He’s still my son. And don’t worry, you’re still gonna get the farm when I’m gone. Just because you didn’t get a big party doesn’t mean you aren’t getting a reward.”

    What I’m saying is, Mary’s the pissy older brother.
    “I’m always great at art! Why are you heaping so much praise on someone who’s barely reaching passable LINES, now?”

    • lilyliv
      lilyliv
      February 19, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

      Being the unfavorite kid, I always felt bad for the pissy older brother–but DAMN if that wasn’t my favorite telling of this parable ever. (And I’ve heard quite a lot of tellings, haha.)

    • ZerglingOne
      ZerglingOne
      February 19, 2018 at 1:03 am | #

      And it’s more or less exactly why teachers want to move to an improvement based merit system for grades. At least to some extent.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        February 19, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

        And how would this system work exactly?

        • ScarvesandCelery
          ScarvesandCelery
          February 19, 2018 at 1:43 am | #

          I think the idea is that schools, teachers, and students would be judged not on the students’ end of term/ semester grades, but on how much the grades have improved since their last end of term/ semester assessment.

          • Inahc
            Inahc
            February 19, 2018 at 2:17 am | #

            that sounds like it’d be great for the easy coursework, and then get really shitty as soon as you find material you don’t pick up quickly.

            … kinda like walky right now. so… maybe it’d be better to get that over with early? provided the school did actually understand the challenges ADHD adds…

            then again, it could also suck ass if you happened to have learnt the material beforehand, unless you were allowed to skip ahead easily and not be penalized for it. (I tended to get in trouble for this – like, oh we’re not supposed to know how this book ends? but, I accidentally the whole book overnight… and every time I switched schools there was something taught in a different order. I did roman&greek mythology at least three times that way, and I still don’t know what I could have been learning instead)

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            February 19, 2018 at 2:29 am | #

            So, what happens with people who don’t struggle with material and are scoring high all the way through?

            • adjudicus
              adjudicus
              February 19, 2018 at 5:12 am | #

              I mean, they should still get good grades, because they’ve demonstrated that they’ve learnt the material and can apply it well. Maybe there should be a balance between a improvement based system and an achievement based system? Perhaps an emphasis on improvement when your grades are fairly low and more emphasis on achievement the higher your grades are?

            • Agemegos
              Agemegos
              February 19, 2018 at 7:33 pm | #

              One time in high school maths my report card read “Exam mark: 99%. Term work: 95%. Position in class: 1st of 73. Grade: C. Comment: can do better.”

              What happens to us? We grow up resentful.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                February 19, 2018 at 11:52 pm | #

                Yeah, I asked about this because I’m one of those students. I have been since I was little. I like school and I’m generally pretty good at it.

                I don’t blame you for being resentful, I’d have been fucking pissed.

        • Clif
          Clif
          February 19, 2018 at 7:05 am | #

          The system would work by encouraging the smart kids to start out each course by pretending to be complete incompetents so that by the end of the course they will show maximum improvement. This will allow the teachers to feel good about how much of an impact their teaching has had. So everybody wins really.

          • JBento
            JBento
            February 19, 2018 at 9:40 am | #

            Except for the one who would have to make an actual effort at pretending to not know shit
            – signed, someone who was better at English than his teachers, and has no intention of ever playing stupid

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            February 19, 2018 at 3:52 pm | #

            I think that system would cause me to completely give up on taking school at all seriously. If I have to pretend to be incompetent to get a good grade, I’d rather just not bother.

            • Inahc
              Inahc
              February 20, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

              I don’t think I was capable of that level of deception in grade school. I didn’t even figure out how to lie at *all* until grade 7.

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          February 19, 2018 at 10:46 pm | #

          The basic idea would need to be highly individualized. Each student would have their own set of goals and be graded on their ability to meet those goals. There are also groupings of it that could be done, with say a project having three different rubrics given to students. If someone wanted to do this approach, this could be helpful because, hi, I’m really not sure I have time to create individual standards for 120-150 kids.

          I’ve also heard the idea that, going off the “three different rubrics” thing, there could be different possible results. Like, say you read something as a class and now students are writing a paper. You could have the option that students who write a 400-word paper could earn up to a C on the assignment, students who write an 800-word paper up to a B, and students who write a 1,200-word paper could earn up to an A. That way students may be working toward different things and receive different amounts of credit for what they’ve done without outright failing, which is part of the purpose of a more-merit based system.

          I would say that most of the the discussion of a full improvement-based system that I’ve seen in education is focused more on younger students, not so much high schoolers. Now, it could still have some of those same issues, but if you’re looking to critique it based on what you were like as a student, think of yourself as a third grader, not a high schooler.

          I don’t think full improvement-based is a great system for everything, but neither is system most commonly used now. People advocating for changes are often met with what-if-we-take-this-to-the-extreme responses, even when that’s not really what’s being proposed.

      • CJ
        CJ
        February 19, 2018 at 3:13 am | #

        Measuring only improvement is going to create all kinds of illusions.
        If you start out not being able to read, being able to recite the alphabet and identify the letters on paper is an incredible improvement, but still zero reading skills.
        So you’d need to scores: one for how much of the material to be learned in this course at this time you have mastered and one for individual improvement.

  30. Some1
    Some1
    February 19, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

    Mary is awful, so why do I think she’s so cute!?

    Eh its probably the same as all those people who want to bang Mike.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      February 19, 2018 at 10:25 am | #

      Dating Bangability/Cuteness.

      You can be physically attracted to someone but still repulsed by them as a human being.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        February 19, 2018 at 11:04 am | #

        The Northern Pikes have a song (from some years ago) of which the chorus was “She ain’t pretty, she just looks that way”.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        February 19, 2018 at 2:50 pm | #

        At least with Mary, while she’s certainly awful, you don’t know her main motive in banging you is some scheme to hurt you or someone else.

        With Mike, the best you can hope for is that you’re just part of a plan aimed at someone else. Like Eric was.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      February 19, 2018 at 10:30 pm | #

      It’s those big brown eyes. You could fall into them and get lost forever — until the next time she says something truly awful, so, three, four minutes, tops. But what a dreamy four minutes.

  31. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 19, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

    I’m SO up for Mary trying to pick a fight with Malaya

    • Stoodmuffin
      Stoodmuffin
      February 19, 2018 at 12:58 am | #

      I wish I could up vote this

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      February 19, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

      Me too! I know she’s already picked fights with Carla, but I’ve always kinda been looking forward to the day Mary tried to fuck with either Sal, Marcie, or Malaya. Or all three. Just to take bets on how long it takes for either Mary to snap or to write a cheque her ass can’t cash.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        February 19, 2018 at 11:54 am | #

        Mary finding out Sal went to a Catholic boarding school might set her off depending on how anti-Catholic her denomination is. As for Marcie Mary strikes me as the kind of person stupid enough to tell someone their disability is punishment for sin.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          February 19, 2018 at 12:39 pm | #

          She’s anti-Catholic enough to hate Robin for it and to have given Roz shit for it. I don’t think Sal cares much about Catholicism, but screechy ladies trying to give her a hard time? Yeah, that likely won’t end well.

          And frankly, it really doesn’t matter what venue of shittiness Mary uses for Marcie, because the second either Sal or Malaya finds out, she’s getting wrecked (at the very least verbally).

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            February 19, 2018 at 2:51 pm | #

            Maybe Malaya and Sal can bond over wrecking Mary. 🙂

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              February 19, 2018 at 3:39 pm | #

              Yes, yes I like this plan.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            February 19, 2018 at 3:41 pm | #

            Oh, yeah, I just remembered that Word of Willis is that Marcie’s Catholic too. And bi. And Mary’s probably enough of a jerk to insult people for being heavier than she is.

            There’s a lot of things she could say to Marcie. Mary = Asshole Extraordinaire.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      February 19, 2018 at 4:08 am | #

      And losing, naturally.

  32. Lingo
    Lingo
    February 19, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

    I’d briefly forgotten that Malaya and Mary had recently met:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/replacement/
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/introduction/

    So they’re already off on the “right” foot (well, “right” in my eyes!).

    • Pl0x
      Pl0x
      February 19, 2018 at 6:53 am | #

      Wait oh what, I forgot that they’ve already met!

  33. Stoodmuffin
    Stoodmuffin
    February 19, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

    I almost had a heart attack cause I was not expecting this but I am so GD ready

  34. Rotunda
    Rotunda
    February 19, 2018 at 1:01 am | #

    It does not seem to be lost on Mary that the instructor is praising Malaya’s work more highly than her own. It *does* seem to be lost on Malaya.

    Malaya is improving; Mary is relying on her “gift”. We know how this goes.

    • Danni
      Danni
      February 19, 2018 at 2:22 am | #

      everything is lost on malaya

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      February 19, 2018 at 4:26 am | #

      Malaya may not have the same emotional investment that Mary has. I suspect that Malaya is doing art so she can look at naked guys. I don’t think that she expected to have (or intended… or even cares) a talent in the field.

      • Pl0x
        Pl0x
        February 19, 2018 at 5:52 am | #

        I think she’s only in this class because it seemed easy and requiring of little effort. She doesn’t seem big on sexual attraction, looking at her SP! history, and here too. People who we know she is sexually attracted to are Ultra-Car, and an unnamed person here in DoA (seen on Slipshine). That is unless she has sex with certain people even though she’s not attracted to them, just to experiment. I’m not sure about Leslie in SP!. Looking at naked guys doesn’t sound like her thing.

      • the final pam
        the final pam
        February 20, 2018 at 3:26 pm | #

        When has Malaya ever shown an interest in guys, much less naked ones???

  35. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 19, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

    So, now that the comic if focusing on Mike, Mary, Malaya, and Faz… Who here thinks that Willis has gone fundie again, and is now using the comic to punish us all for our wicked and depraved sins?

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      February 19, 2018 at 6:25 am | #

      … since when has he needed a *reason* to punish us all?

      –Dave, rereading SP!, currently just past Amber’s big NOOOOOOOOO

  36. BenRG
    BenRG
    February 19, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

    I think that Mary is going to learn the torment of never being as good as someone who has a spectacular natural talent but (and this is the worst part) they are so used to being good that they don’t notice or care!

    • Brotato
      Brotato
      February 19, 2018 at 6:12 pm | #

      Actually, it seems like the opposite of that. Mary was told “good work, as always,” but Malaya was praised for her improvements.

  37. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    February 19, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

    Hey! Good news! Everyone who was unhappy with Faz, this comic doesn’t have Faz in it! Everything’s fine now!

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      February 19, 2018 at 4:05 am | #

      It has Mary in it though…

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        February 19, 2018 at 12:21 pm | #

        Yes, but she’s frowning and unhappy so it’s all good

        • Eldritch Gentleman
          Eldritch Gentleman
          February 19, 2018 at 4:27 pm | #

          But she’ll start stirring trouble! Then again Malaya seems to have a hang of how to mess with her…

  38. Liliet
    Liliet
    February 19, 2018 at 3:03 am | #

    <33333333333333333

  39. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    February 19, 2018 at 3:43 am | #

    It’s so on.

  40. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    February 19, 2018 at 4:06 am | #

    This calls for a scowl-off.

    Really, I’m all for Mary getting annoyed by new girl Malaya – and the latter’s nonchalance at her annoyance.

  41. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    February 19, 2018 at 4:42 am | #

    BTW, does anyone else believe that’s Bob Ross after losing his hair and faking his death? I do.

    • Joe Covenant
      Joe Covenant
      February 19, 2018 at 5:01 am | #

      I hadn’t thought that…
      Now, I’m living by it!

    • Just a Ian
      Just a Ian
      February 19, 2018 at 5:03 am | #

      ask him to paint some happy little trees and see how he does it…

  42. Stellar
    Stellar
    February 19, 2018 at 7:05 am | #

    At last! The Sal and Mary team up we have all been waiting for!

    • Brotato
      Brotato
      February 19, 2018 at 6:14 pm | #

      All?

  43. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    February 19, 2018 at 8:00 am | #

    *gasp* he’s naked

  44. laladoria
    laladoria
    February 19, 2018 at 8:02 am | #

    God gave Mary the gift of drawing manga eyes. She can even draw them both the correct size, first try!

    Amazing.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      February 19, 2018 at 9:31 am | #

      That gift is the way Mary draws, until art school beats it out of her.

      • Andy
        Andy
        February 19, 2018 at 1:46 pm | #

        Coupled with that bit, I wonder if this is something that’s been the norm through the semester – the instructor putting down Mary’s drawing skills because she’s into doing a manga style. Trying to push her into “proper” art is something I’ve heard from people who have taken art classes.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          February 19, 2018 at 3:04 pm | #

          To be fair, learning to work in different styles is a very useful skill and can even help you make your preferred style better when you come back to it.

          Shouldn’t be putting students down anyway of course.

        • Tadpole7
          Tadpole7
          February 19, 2018 at 4:39 pm | #

          Style isn’t really a factor as it’s a technical class on building an accurate model
          of the human body. Hyper-realistic to gestural drawing is acceptable. As long as all the parts are properly placed (or movement/weight of the body).

          I wouldn’t be surprised if Mary is a decent first year figure drawer.

          One of the issue with young Anime style students is the number of them that lack basic understanding of the human body and some of the basic rules to drawing. It doesn’t excuse an instructor for being an ass about their chosen style.

          On the other hand, I’ve seen a few artist not understand that a basic drawing course is about learning technical skills and not about the style. Sometimes the student is the inflexible one in the mix.

  45. JBento
    JBento
    February 19, 2018 at 9:38 am | #

    Is it just me, or does Malaya look SAD in the last panel?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      February 19, 2018 at 10:33 am | #

      To me it’s: “Be quiet. Am concentrating. Go hell.”

    • Lulu
      Lulu
      February 19, 2018 at 11:44 am | #

      I too would be sad if I had to draw a guy in the nude with all the details on him 😉

  46. FairyGothMama
    FairyGothMama
    February 19, 2018 at 10:55 am | #

    Am I the only one not assuming they have a human model? My first college drawing class had no human models, nude or otherwise. We drew still life. Lots and lots and lots of still life, with different techniques. My best works were a plant on grey paper, drawing with black and white conté crayons, a pair of cowboy boots drawn in one continuous line, and a portrait with a magazine ad for model, as realistic as possible. Life drawing wasn’t an option for a couple of years.

    • monkyvirus
      monkyvirus
      February 19, 2018 at 11:06 am | #

      In the first panel you can see the human model, but yeah life drawing is usually something added later (I presume it’s a cost thing as well as still life being an easier starting point).

      • FairyGothMama
        FairyGothMama
        February 19, 2018 at 11:21 pm | #

        And I am going blind in my old age, apparently, because I only Just Now saw the model in the first panel. Pardon my dimwittery.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      February 19, 2018 at 12:42 pm | #

      We know they have a human model, from Patreon canon.

    • autogatos
      autogatos
      February 19, 2018 at 3:03 pm | #

      Probably depends on the school. I had life drawing starting at freshman year and then every year after. I went to an art school though, I dunno if it differs at a large university/state school since art isn’t the only thing the school is focused on?

      • Tadpole7
        Tadpole7
        February 19, 2018 at 4:43 pm | #

        I took life drawing at my local community college when I was a freshman.
        I think it often depends on how the student has set up their schedule. Plus what the faculty recommends as a overall schedule for ones degree.

  47. Smooti
    Smooti
    February 19, 2018 at 3:07 pm | #

    So Mary doesn’t object to the model? I’m surprised she isn’t refusing to draw nudity.

    Also Mary definitely strikes me as the type who will refuse to improve her artwork after a certain point, whereas I bet Malaya’s more open to experimenting just because she doesn’t give that much of a fuck.

    Also does Indiana have like, normal art teachers? All my professors were either hippie-eccentric or scholarly-Doc-Brown-esque-eccentric.

  48. PB
    PB
    February 19, 2018 at 5:21 pm | #

    …Huh!

  49. rectilinearpropagation
    rectilinearpropagation
    February 19, 2018 at 8:06 pm | #

    Oh man, no one who just started reading today can hear the loud “DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!”

  50. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    February 19, 2018 at 9:26 pm | #

    Art aside, I am a huge fan of naked men. 😛

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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Rolling Stone is one of the few news outlets that know how to write headlines.
rollingstone.com's user avatarRolling Stone @rollingstone.com ⋅ 2d
Report: Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn’t Pee Right The New York Times reports that the billionaire experienced some negative effects from frequent drug use while stumping for Trump last year
header image - Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn't Pee Right: Report
rollingstone.com
Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn't Pee Right: Report
Elon Musk's frequent use of ketamine during the 2024 campaign caused him to experience bladder problems, according to The New York Times.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
everyone: remember to transform your ss86 scavenger so that the shovel arm hangs off his ass like a floppy butt-penis
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reposted by David M Willis!
papaalphakilo.bsky.social's user avatar
PAK @papaalphakilo.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Sam Reich doing a little dance on the set of
rajandelman.bsky.social's user avatarBlue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
We need a liberal Jigsaw
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Ben Rosen @benrosen.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
i tell ya, my wife is bi. yeah, she bi and i pay!
maggiewestrum.bsky.social's user avatarMaggie Westrum @maggiewestrum.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
we need a rodney dangerfield of the left
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reposted by David M Willis!
coelasquid.bsky.social's user avatar
Kelly Turnbull @coelasquid.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Oh hey Hulu released the new King of the Hill intro I boarded
header image - King of the Hill Season 14 | Credit Sequence Reveal | Hulu
youtu.be
King of the Hill Season 14 | Credit Sequence Reveal | Hulu
YouTube video by Hulu
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
thanks for the three bigfoot-esque images of cyberworld optimus prime, hasbro pr
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
"so now what?" "well handing her every knife in the house has worked out for us so far"
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reposted by David M Willis!
chrismcfeely.bsky.social's user avatar
Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
CYBERWORLD trailer! www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTsf...
header image - Transformers: CYBERWORLD | OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER | Transformers Official
www.youtube.com
Transformers: CYBERWORLD | OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER | Transformers Official
YouTube video by TRANSFORMERS OFFICIAL
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(june 1, 2026)
It's Malaya!  They seem incredulous.
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reposted by David M Willis!
uncleduke1969.bsky.social's user avatar
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
the need for the inclusion of the graphic is a sad reminder of the shockingly low literacy rate among geese
Sign reads “No Geese” and includes a graphic of a goose silhouette in a red circle with a line through it.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
well look at her, that child was right
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
which do you fuckin THINK, man
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned I can be thrown long enough over POLLY'S FIANCE IS *SIXTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN HER DAD?????* to momentarily forget to wonder HOW IS SISTER STEVEN STILL ALIVE
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Formal" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Formal
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