Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 1, 2026

Waffles

by David M Willis on December 24, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - But the Sun Still Shines
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (199) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 24, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    I feel like brunch is a millennial necessity to save money by combining two meals into one

    all that “not getting paid by people who have money” and all

    • Stu
      Stu
      December 24, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

      Nah, it predates Millenials by a good bit. Hell, you could argue that the Hobbits inspired it with “Second Breakfast”.

      • 3oranges
        3oranges
        December 24, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        Brunch is the opposite of second breakfast, isn’t it? One is merging meals, and the other is splitting them out.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          December 24, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

          Since when does brunch replace breakfast and lunch?

          • TachyonCode
            TachyonCode
            December 24, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

            If you want a good brunch, it’s almost certainly going to be more expensive than just cooking some eggs and calling it a meal.

            The end result of that purchase, then, should be not feeling hungry any more that day. Maybe not even until tomorrow.

            Otherwise you’re just wasting your cash on an exorbitant meal that wasn’t feeling.

            • TachyonCode
              TachyonCode
              December 24, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

              Filling! Stupid autocorrect.

              • everlastingwonder
                everlastingwonder
                December 24, 2018 at 9:41 am | #

                “I ate myself today / to see if I still feel”

                • Ryek Hvek
                  Ryek Hvek
                  December 24, 2018 at 11:00 am | #

                  “and drank a smoothie made, with raw banana peels”

                • Emperor Norton II
                  Emperor Norton II
                  December 28, 2018 at 7:22 pm | #

                  The waffles filled a whole
                  the coffee made a sting
                  They try to take my food away
                  But I devour everything

          • 3oranges
            3oranges
            December 24, 2018 at 6:11 am | #

            Since about 1895 according to dictionaries.
            Merriam-Webster says “a meal usually taken late in the morning that combines a late breakfast and an early lunch”.
            Oxford even more directly says “a late morning meal eaten instead of breakfast and lunch”.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        December 24, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        I’m feeling a pedantic urge to point out that given Tolkien’s encyclopaedic knowledge of languages, he was well aware that “second breakfast” is an oxymoron.

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 24, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

          It’s just the closest translation of a concept we don’t have in our culture.

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          December 24, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

          No, no, it’s because Second Fast is the time in the mid-morning in which you musn’t eat* or you’ll ruin your whole day’s schedule.

          *more than a light sub sandwich and soup

        • Skater Girl
          Skater Girl
          December 24, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

          Every meal is breakfast, it’s just that the fasts in between each of them are not very long

        • Mc
          Mc
          December 24, 2018 at 9:59 am | #

          That is totally subjective. Breakfast is a a break from fasting, so considering a Hobbit’s fondness for all things edible, it isn’t so much a contradiction to say that they can have a “second break from fasting”, but much more of a logical conclusion, given that not eating between first breakfast and elevenses would constitute as a period of fasting – albeit too short for humans to be counted as such.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      December 24, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      I eat like a Hobbit, by which I mean I have second breakfast. That’s what you call it when your dinner is dry cereal.

    • TrueVCU
      TrueVCU
      December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      No, brunch is more than that it is a time honored excuse for day drinking

      • JetstreamGW
        JetstreamGW
        December 24, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        Also a time for novel food, made as cheaply as possible, with all the ingredients the restaurant couldn’t get rid of before, and prepared and served by surly staff that would rather strangle you.

        • Bathymetheus
          Bathymetheus
          December 24, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

          So much more in-your-face than suffocation!

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 24, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

          Eat at Arbies.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        December 24, 2018 at 10:34 am | #

        What day drinker ever needed an excuse for day drinking?

        “Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.”

    • Raen
      Raen
      December 24, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      I feel like if you’re trying to save money by combining two meals into one at a restaurant, not only are you doing it wrong, you’re walking right into a meme.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 24, 2018 at 1:54 am | #

        But those lazy milennials don’t cook! They’d rather get their avocado toast from their local artisanal bread shop at $7 a slice.

        /s

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        December 24, 2018 at 2:35 am | #

        I didn’t say which meals so it’s like tea + happy hour lolololol

        /doesn’t actually know anything about brunch bc no money

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 24, 2018 at 1:47 am | #

      A true visionary.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 24, 2018 at 6:44 am | #

      [Dog with frisbee meme]
      No pay! Only spend!

    • geno
      geno
      December 24, 2018 at 10:35 am | #

      I have never had a brunch that wasn’t more expensive than a breakfast and lunch combined

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      December 24, 2018 at 2:39 pm | #

      This has been another episode of “deep cuts with Ana”, where you laugh until it hurts because it hurts.

    • Furie
      Furie
      December 24, 2018 at 5:06 pm | #

      Funny story: where most people think Brunch is a combination of lunch and breakfast, that way of spelling the word is actually only a coincidence. The word originally comes from the combination of any (and, indeed, all) meals in a day into one which was called Broke-ass Lunch or, because there are kids present taking all our money so we can’t afford multiple meals, Brunch.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        December 24, 2018 at 7:00 pm | #

        Pretty sure brunch predates broke-ass/
        The concept seems to derive more from late risers than any need to save money.

  2. Stu
    Stu
    December 24, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m a little surprised Ruth didn’t call out Billie for suggesting a drink, given her therapy.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      I think that’s what’s implied by her saying “dining hall it is”.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      That was a bit odd of Billie to suggest. I mean, not for Billie per se, but given the current situation.

      • John Smith
        John Smith
        December 24, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

        Billie is a raging alcoholic who’s fine with dragging her potentially-recovering SO back into alcoholism and depression.

        People spend a lot of time ragging on Walkey and Amber, but holy crap do they have nothing on Billie for being a horrible person.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          December 24, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

          With Billie, I think it helps she’s dealing with the same issues, but you’re right to worry – I’m worried this is going to go full crab bucket too.

        • Nikol Geier
          Nikol Geier
          December 24, 2018 at 6:40 pm | #

          I think people are harsher on Amber because the narrative is often pretty sympathetic to her—and because, as a Nerd Comic from Nerd Culture, we’re used to the shy white nerd having bad behavior (like being an effin’ cop) excused. People are angrier when they think a character’s bad behavior is going to be vindicated.

          I honestly do not see Walky get much hate—he gets a bit, yeah, but not as much as Billie or Amber or Sarah.

          Billie’s an ex-cheerleader, and the narrative pretty explicitly sees her as the iconic “lovable garbage” character of Dumbing of Age. Of course people hate her—but most of us do it in an affectionate, “I’m worried about this girl” way.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            December 24, 2018 at 7:02 pm | #

            “I’m worried about this girl (or boy, as appropriate)” is how I feel about most of these characters.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        December 24, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

        Billie doesn’t actually want to quit drinking. That was kind of an, “Ehhhhhh resolution for her.”

        Ruth is ignoring the fact Billie’s shits given are zero regarding recovery.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 24, 2018 at 9:37 am | #

          Billie’s never quit drinking. I don’t think she’s even said she was quitting drinking, other than that one long broken deal before they actually got together.

  3. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    December 24, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Always procrastinate.

    The life you save could be yours.

  4. Lilyliv
    Lilyliv
    December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh, the eternal struggle with happy meds. :/

  5. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Sorry, Ruth. Sharking Training of Age is a different comic, and they don’t have any slots for new characters.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      December 24, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

      For some reason my brain focused on reverse engineering that joke to determine that Ruth’s current major must be ‘Dumbing’.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 24, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

        Also, I pretty sure that Shark Training of Age would have new slots for characters on a fairly regular basis.

        • LookingIn
          LookingIn
          December 24, 2018 at 1:13 am | #

          Not if the focus is on the sharks and not the trainers 😀

          • AGV
            AGV
            December 24, 2018 at 3:13 am | #

            So the DOA cast is sharkified?

            • Nikol Geier
              Nikol Geier
              December 24, 2018 at 6:35 pm | #

              Wait, why would the cast need to change? Seems to me Willis would have a really hard time getting trucks all the way into the ocean!

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          January 4, 2019 at 4:25 pm | #

          Well, as long as they don’t start the “Jumping the Shark” course, I am good.

  6. Yumi
    Yumi
    December 24, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Waffles is always a good answer.

    My dining hall had good waffles, but if theirs just has the reheated kind, I can see that not being particularly appealing.

    Also, depression! “Do these meds work or do I just not want to start over” is where I’m at.

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 24, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

      Waffles.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      December 24, 2018 at 1:32 am | #

      I’ve always preferred waffles to pancakes because they have little squares you can pour your syrup into.

      • Nikol Geier
        Nikol Geier
        December 24, 2018 at 6:34 pm | #

        Waffles are better ’cause they’re crispy. Pancakes are better when they’re layered and thin.

        Thick pancakes and soft waffles are the Devil’s breakfast.

  7. Kris
    Kris
    December 24, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    Or you could make your own waffles like a man.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      December 24, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

      Or waffles like a woman.

      Or waffles like a Canadian.

      A Canadian woman.

      Which is ordering Joyce to make them.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 24, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

        No, no. Kris is not claiming that men make waffles differently then women or Canadians. Rather Kris seems to be advocating controlling the sexual preference of ones own waffles.

        • Catman
          Catman
          December 24, 2018 at 3:51 am | #

          Wasn’t there a strip where Joyce was discussing things that Becky might have been hiding from her, and the idea of pancakes and waffles being stand ins for male and female, in which case this strip is Billie saying that right now, she wants ladies (specifically Ruth, but whatever)

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            December 24, 2018 at 4:15 am | #

            There was, but waffles were boys in that scenario.
            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/gunshot/

  8. BBCC
    BBCC
    December 24, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    It DOES seem like a lot of work and a lot of your credits wouldn’t transfer to an animal training major, so you should just stick with English, Ruth.

    And oh, Billie, sweetie, no, alcohol is not going well.

    I’m with Ruth btw. I don’t want to know what Americans consider syrup. I’m happy without this knowledge.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      December 24, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Some of our syrup is maple.
      We have trees here, too.

      • Kris
        Kris
        December 24, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

        But most of it’s colored sugar and corn starch stuffed into a bottle shaped like an old woman.

        • John
          John
          December 24, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

          I’m a Vermonter. That crap can eat me. (I”m certainly not going to eat it.)

          • Kris
            Kris
            December 24, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

            Yo! Maple syrup’s expensive! I don’t know how much it costs in Vermont but in California it’s upwards of 30.00$ a bottle American, and that’s probably still low quality for you authentic folks up north. I’ll take my affordable, glorified sugar water and pay my rent on time, thank you.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              December 24, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

              You’re no fun. 😛

              (I kid, I kid – it’s understandable. That said, I’m still gonna make fun of Americans’ alleged ‘syrup’.)

              • Nikol Geier
                Nikol Geier
                December 24, 2018 at 6:32 pm | #

                American “Syrup” is absolutely awful. At that point, you should just put jam or something on your waffles/pancakes! Or just lemon juice and powdered sugar. Or cinnamon and sugar. Anything but Syrup.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              December 24, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

              It’s not not that much more expensive than the fake stuff here in Mass, but we produce it here too. Once you’ve had the real stuff you can never go back to the cheap crap. It’s worth it.

              Plus you can get it in what kind of looks like a liquor bottle, so Billie should feel right at home with it.

            • DSL
              DSL
              December 24, 2018 at 9:43 am | #

              $30 a bottle? How much are you buying at one time?

              • Kris
                Kris
                December 24, 2018 at 6:12 pm | #

                Standard 32 ounce jug of maple syrup in California at least runs between 20-30 bucks. I guess when I said “bottle” that might have been unintentionally misleading. It might be cheaper online. Someone linked a bottle that was priced at 20$ but I’ve seen that same brand at my local grocery store for 28$. Smaller bottles are still around 2-3x what you’d pay for the sugar water and molasses substitute.

            • John
              John
              December 24, 2018 at 10:54 am | #

              It literally grows on trees here. I haven’t actually paid for syrup in years. A friend’s wife’s family makes it, and I’m given more than I can use for Atheist Kids Get Presents Day every year.

              Last time I actually bought syrup, it was so I could give it as gifts to people who were stranded in the benighted South, and as I recall, it was $24 for a gallon can.

              If you get syrup in a diner or whatever here, you have to specifically ask for it to get the fake shit, and the waitress will give you weird looks.

              • Taellosse
                Taellosse
                December 24, 2018 at 1:27 pm | #

                As she should. Anyone who actively chooses colored corn syrup over real maple syrup is probably mentally ill.

                • John
                  John
                  December 24, 2018 at 1:44 pm | #

                  I dated a girl from California for a while, who insisted on having what she called “California syrup” on her pancakes. I won’t comment as to her mental health.

              • Ryek Hvek
                Ryek Hvek
                December 24, 2018 at 6:24 pm | #

                There is a sort of inverse dilemma for some diners who turn out great pancakes for a less-than-wealthy clientele. They lose their profit margins if they let those cakes be covered with maple syrup that costs the diner a dollar an ounce.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          December 24, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

          Too bad. I’m not a maple syrup person very often (I am not a person who puts things on my food) but maple flavoured stuff is delicious and the syrup by itself is very good.

        • C.T Phipps
          C.T Phipps
          December 24, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

          “Organic” syrup is actual maple syrup.

          “Normal” maple syrup is a liquid sugar that will last the nuclear apocalypse and still be good 200 years later in the next Fallout game.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            December 24, 2018 at 8:22 am | #

            So is honey!

            I love the new Fallout 76. Just sayin’.

          • DSL
            DSL
            December 24, 2018 at 9:47 am | #

            The nuclear-survivable liquid sugar is about as much maple as I am, and had better not be calling itself maple syrup of any kind. It can be labled “syrup,” or “pancake syrup,” or “viscous liquid looking vaguely like motor oil” but it’s not maple syrup. That said, it’s not that expensive if you buy the small bottle and convince yourself it’s an occasional treat, which for me it is. The Kornglopp — well, it’ll do, and it serves to remind me how good actual maple syrup is.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        December 24, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

        @Yumi: But is American Maple syrup good enough to be worth stealing?

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Canadian_Maple_Syrup_Heist

        just sayin’

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          December 24, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

          I have to assume that any industry in America is riddled with crime, which is to say that someone’s probably stolen it.

          • C.T Phipps
            C.T Phipps
            December 24, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

            They stole it to sell in America. So, yes?

      • AntJ
        AntJ
        December 24, 2018 at 12:42 am | #

        Yeah but you can’t get the good kind of maple syrup in Indiana. Gotta go to Wisconsin, Minnesota or Michigan.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          December 24, 2018 at 1:41 am | #

          I get that, but it will not stop me ragging on the abomination Americans call syrup.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 24, 2018 at 9:46 am | #

          Or New England. Vermont is the classic, but you can get good local syrup pretty much in any New England state.

          • AntJ
            AntJ
            December 24, 2018 at 5:16 pm | #

            whoops I forgot Vermont sorry

        • Deacon Blues
          Deacon Blues
          December 24, 2018 at 3:04 pm | #

          Actually, Indiana is a pretty large producer of maple syrup. I live in the southern part of Indiana, and not an hour away from me is a huge maple syrup-producing area, they through a huge Maple Festival every year. Because of that, maple syrup is not near as expensive here than in other areas, but the real stuff is still like, $7 for a quart or something, whereas the cheap stuff is like $2 for 2 quarts. I will often get both kinds when in the mood for it, use the fake stuff if eating like, frozen waffles, and the real stuff if I make pancakes or latkes myself.

    • FacelessDeviant
      FacelessDeviant
      December 24, 2018 at 1:16 am | #

      As a european I will happily yeild that Canada makes superiour syrup.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 24, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

      It’s basically maple flavored Karo syrup.

      Everything is sweetened with corn syrup in the US because the government subsidizes corn production.

    • Zee
      Zee
      December 24, 2018 at 10:35 am | #

      Y’all say Americans like maple syrup is readily available everywhere else
      I personally love it but its expensive as hell

      • Zee
        Zee
        December 24, 2018 at 10:48 am | #

        By everywhere else I mean places other than america. In my country we can make sugar, but you can’t grow a maple tree

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 24, 2018 at 1:17 pm | #

        Sure, I’m not knocking people for not eating it because it’s expensive. I AM making fun of what Americans call syrup because it is glorified sugar water. 😛

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      January 4, 2019 at 4:42 pm | #

      I was mildly traumatized the first time I went to the US and discovered the abominations that USians try to pass off as syrup.

  9. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    December 24, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    *plays the jingle for the International House of Bacon Fat on a nearby speaker*

  10. Derek
    Derek
    December 24, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    so Billie has dropped all pretense of helping Ruth kick her alcoholism?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 24, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

      All pretence of kicking alcoholism herself anyways.

      • the final pam
        the final pam
        December 24, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

        An extremely generous interpretation on my part given that Billie has clearly shown that she’s still drinking or at least trying to get drinks in the past, but it could have just been a slip of the tongue to Ruth. Even if she’s not necessarily offering that they themselves get mimosas at this place, if that’s what she remembers this place for, that might be what she uses as a selling point, without really thinking about that “Ooh, yeah we’re kicking alcoholism”.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          December 24, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

          Billie isn’t kicking alcoholism herself though. She still hasn’t had the breakthrough she’s got a real, serious problem. The closest she got to that was deciding she was poison and going to make a suicide pact with Ruth (which ended when Ruth got blackmailed by Mary and had to be hospitalized. We already know Billie’s skipping the therapy she’s supposed to have been going to after that and we know she’s still drinking).

          • C.T Phipps
            C.T Phipps
            December 24, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

            Generous: Billie is just insensitive or doesn’t think mimosas are “real” alcohol.

            Cynical: Billie is really annoyed by Ruth’s recovery actually including self-improvement.

          • Emily
            Emily
            December 24, 2018 at 6:17 am | #

            The fact that Billie’s drunk driving incident didn’t clue her in to the fact that she has a serious problem kinda tells me everything I need to know about her to hate her indefinitely.

            • Nikol Geier
              Nikol Geier
              December 24, 2018 at 6:21 pm | #

              This is excessive. She stopped drinking and driving. “I’m only hurting me now” is where she’s at. Billie is a toxic person, yes, but hating her for being depressed and borderline suicidal is?

              • Emily
                Emily
                December 24, 2018 at 8:16 pm | #

                Does she even have a license to have that choice at this point?

    • MatsuoTanuki
      MatsuoTanuki
      December 24, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

      Baby steps. And I am proud of Ruth for calmly, maturely shooting the suggestion down, and for Billie acceptng the denial.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      December 24, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

      I think Billie would be surprised at any idea of getting better and be a little offended by it, actually.

      What kind of suicide pact is this?

      • AntJ
        AntJ
        December 24, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

        Ruth is actually trying to get better. Billie is overwhelmed by the prospect of recovery. Part of why Billie is attracted to Ruth is that she doesn’t think her destructive lifestyle can hurt Ruth any worse, which seems wrong. I think Ruth is still upset that Billie never went sober when she needed the support. Billie can still let Ruth down. Walky/Amber isn’t the only relationship formed on the pretense of garbage, but as we just saw, they eventually had to reckon with reality. If Ruth weans herself off alcohol, Billie would once again be a destructive influence. Maybe like those chicken nuggets, she finds a way to ruin this, too.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          December 24, 2018 at 1:06 am | #

          You don’t need to recover if nothing is wrong. Taking care of Ruth gave Billie another reason her depression isn’t ‘that bad’ and she ‘doesn’t have a problem’.

  11. Yumi
    Yumi
    December 24, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    I really relate to Ruth’s last line in the last panel, at least how I’m reading it which is, “It’s important to make killing yourself seem like a hassle.” Like, in her case she’s making it into a more absurd situation to perhaps gain distance from it, and I get that. And sometimes if it feels like everything’s too much, and you can frame killing yourself as yet another thing to take on, it can kind of help push it away. It’s not the best solution, but if it keeps you alive another day, that’s something.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      December 24, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      Sometimes too it’s hard to process the intense emotional impact our death would have on people close to us, and it can help to just think of people who may be incidentally upset or inconvenienced. “I can’t kill myself tonight,” I’ve thought, “because then in the morning someone’s gonna find me and that’s gonna ruin their morning and they’ll probably miss their morning classes.” Same sort of idea, whether for you or for someone else, that killing yourself is inconvenient.

      • MatsuoTanuki
        MatsuoTanuki
        December 24, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

        *appropriate gesture of support and comfort*

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      December 24, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

      Yeah, that’s at least part of how I’ve made it this long myself.

  12. Raen
    Raen
    December 24, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

    I will defend the syrup of… at least four states to the death!

    …well, at least three.

    • AntJ
      AntJ
      December 24, 2018 at 12:51 am | #

      Vermont, Minnesota, Wisconsin, maybe Michigan?

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        December 24, 2018 at 1:53 am | #

        Illinois makes the best syrup. You can take that to the bank.

        • Bicycle Bill
          Bicycle Bill
          December 24, 2018 at 2:06 am | #

          The best corn syrup (think ‘Karo’), perhaps.

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            December 24, 2018 at 10:42 am | #

            I’m sure somebody else does corn syrup better. Illinois isn’t actually the best at anything, I was just havin’ a goof.

            • AntJ
              AntJ
              December 24, 2018 at 5:17 pm | #

              Oh good. Illinois sucks.

              • Delicious Taffy
                Delicious Taffy
                December 24, 2018 at 10:19 pm | #

                Yo, don’t talk shit about my state. We’ve got the eighth-largest carillon in the world, and my hometown is famous for having a stupid sports mascot and a guy who got shot in the same car as JFK. We’ve also got three Dollar General stores. Three.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 24, 2018 at 8:24 am | #

      You forgot West Virginia.

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        December 24, 2018 at 9:20 pm | #

        The only real maple syrup I’ve ever had was the homemade stuff back in West Virginia.

  13. John
    John
    December 24, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

    I ate a styrofoam packing peanut one time. I was urping up styrofoam-flavored gas for hours afterwards.

    It was still better than the dining hall food.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      December 24, 2018 at 4:03 am | #

      Some packing peanuts are starch-based. We learned that because the cats started eating them.

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      December 24, 2018 at 3:10 pm | #

      Now I want syrup-dipped styrofoam.

      …and ‘Jhon’ because I didn’t want to be ‘Other John’.

  14. MatsuoTanuki
    MatsuoTanuki
    December 24, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

    Ruth has made me reconsider the way I rate and judge syrup. How can I tell whether or not it is passable when I have never in living memory had authentic, maple-tapped and hand cured syrup with my pancakes and waffles?

    New mission: go on vacation Canada, and have a local direct me to the good stuff.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      December 24, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

      You can also eat it with snow.

      It’s pretty good.

      • foamy
        foamy
        December 24, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

        Or crystallized, or as straight maple sugar!

      • MatsuoTanuki
        MatsuoTanuki
        December 24, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

        I’ve heard of that, they dig little trenches in a snowbank and pour it right in until it hardens to a taffy. I live in Colorado, and every time a blizzard hits I’m always tempted to try it myself but always decide not to coz I doubt the results would be at all appealing…

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          December 24, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

          You can also just scoop up a bowl of snow and put maple syrup on it and eat it. I have no idea if this is a thing other people do, but my mom taught it to me when I was a kid. I wish there was snow outside right now.

          • MatsuoTanuki
            MatsuoTanuki
            December 24, 2018 at 12:41 am | #

            It’s not the sanitation of the snow that always stops me, but the quality of the syrup. Do off the counter, cheap-o syrups taste good on a bed of crumbled ice, or does it have to be the good quality stuff to not taste like a sugared bowl of snot?

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              December 24, 2018 at 8:29 am | #

              Couldn’t tell ya. People who put maple syrup on snow wouldn’t touch the fake stuff with a ten-foot pole.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            December 24, 2018 at 2:15 am | #

            Just watch out where the huskies go.

            • Wizard
              Wizard
              December 24, 2018 at 2:54 am | #

              Always good advice.

    • foamy
      foamy
      December 24, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      It really is very good. Incredibly sweet, though; a very little goes a long, long way.

    • Uly
      Uly
      December 24, 2018 at 2:37 am | #

      You know, we do have sugar maple tapping in the US as well, notably (but not exclusively) in Vermont.

    • Emily
      Emily
      December 24, 2018 at 6:19 am | #

      As a Canadian maple syrup is overrated and this strip perpetuates a stupid stereotype of Canadians who don’t sell maple syrup giving a crap about maple syrup.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 24, 2018 at 7:55 am | #

        Yeah, imagine someone who isn’t an artist giving a crap about a web comic.

        And don’t forget the stereotype about Canadians who consume Maple syrup. Real Canadians never touch the stuff.

        • bugfriend
          bugfriend
          December 24, 2018 at 12:21 pm | #

          I know you don’t particularly like Emily’s comments, but is there any need for you to reply to every comment of hers in the same antagonistic sarcastic way? Just don’t engage, dude. I know you probably just want to ‘own’ her, but you’re just coming across as obnoxious and bratty.

        • Llyia
          Llyia
          December 24, 2018 at 1:32 pm | #

          I dont even get what you’re trying to say here. Is this supposed to be some sick burn or something?

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          December 24, 2018 at 4:00 pm | #

          i approved two new commenters who showed up just to dunk on you, clif, so maybe get a clue

          • Clif
            Clif
            December 24, 2018 at 11:39 pm | #

            Clue taken . I’ll try to avoid direct replies. I’m not even sure why I find the remarks so anoying. Objectively they shouldn’t be.

      • Alan Lafond
        Alan Lafond
        December 24, 2018 at 10:29 pm | #

        As a Canadian, I love tree sauce! 🙂 It even makes breakfast sausages edible! 😛

  15. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    December 24, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

    Maybe Ruth just isn’t a wild partier, Billie. Maybe a mentally healthier Ruth doesn’t want to start drinking before noon.

    And maybe you shouldn’t be trying to, either!

    • MatsuoTanuki
      MatsuoTanuki
      December 24, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

      Am I reading it wrong? My take was that Billie was only making an additional statement about the waffle place, not actually expressing any intention to have a mimosa with her breakfast.

      • Emily
        Emily
        December 24, 2018 at 6:20 am | #

        That’d be a reasonable take if Billie weren’t an alcoholic.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      December 24, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

      I think Ruth will not be happy to discover Billie actually doesn’t hate her self-destructive suicidal side the same way Ruth does.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 24, 2018 at 1:00 am | #

        It’s not so much Billie doesn’t hate being self-destructive and suicidal – she certainly doesn’t ENJOY feeling like poison who ruins everything – so much as she’s swimming in a river in Egypt. RUTH is the one with the problems, Billie’s FINE, Billie’s not catatonic and lying there waiting to die so everything is FINE.

        • Nikol Geier
          Nikol Geier
          December 24, 2018 at 6:23 pm | #

          Billie’s NORMAL

  16. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    December 24, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

    I’m glad to see Billie is keeping true to the realization that some things are more importance than romance – like alcohol.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      December 24, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

      Notably this is said entirely in black humor from a person hailing from family of alcoholics married to a woman who suffers clinical depression.

      • MatsuoTanuki
        MatsuoTanuki
        December 24, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

        I can relate. Three generations in a direct male line of alcoholics. S’not pretty, and any humor we can find in the situation is vital to dealing with the issues, no matter how morbid…

  17. Kris
    Kris
    December 24, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

    Not that Billie deserves any credit toward sobriety, but there is such a thing as a dry mimosa. I’ve had a few, they’re pretty good.

    • MatsuoTanuki
      MatsuoTanuki
      December 24, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

      How does one mix a dry mimosa if s/he wants to try one?

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 24, 2018 at 1:04 am | #

        Waffles. Yumi says that Waffles is always a good answer.

        • MatsuoTanuki
          MatsuoTanuki
          December 24, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

          Indeed it is. This world would be a much better place if folks had waffles more often…

      • Rogue
        Rogue
        December 24, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

        I personally used lemon lime soda w/orange juice and I used sparkling cider and orange juice. 🙂

        • MatsuoTanuki
          MatsuoTanuki
          December 24, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

          That DOES sound tasty.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          December 24, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

          It’s been so long since I last saw an American talking about cider, I was confused there for a moment about how that could be a virgin mimosa…

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            December 24, 2018 at 1:46 am | #

            Hard cider vs what’s basically spiced juice.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            December 24, 2018 at 8:50 am | #

            They’re usually talking about Martinelli’s, which is pretty much the de facto standard non-alcoholic champagne substitute in America.

    • Emily
      Emily
      December 24, 2018 at 6:21 am | #

      Sure, but we all know that’s not what she means so it’s kinda irrelevant.

      • Emily
        Emily
        December 24, 2018 at 9:34 am | #

        I know you’re obsessed with me or whatever but could you please stop?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 24, 2018 at 3:24 pm | #

        Didn’t you say you were going to stop replying to Emily and ignore her?

        When does that start, because this got old a while ago.

  18. Yumi
    Yumi
    December 24, 2018 at 12:35 am | #

    Since there are a bunch of people now in the market for maple syrup…

    • MatsuoTanuki
      MatsuoTanuki
      December 24, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

      Ooooh! *licks lips*

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 24, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

      ‘M probably biased, but I prefer the Vermont stuff.

      • Dana
        Dana
        December 24, 2018 at 4:20 pm | #

        A wise man once told me, New Hampshire maple syrup is what they would make in Vermont if they knew how.

  19. Hoodiecrow
    Hoodiecrow
    December 24, 2018 at 12:38 am | #

    I can certainly sympathize, both with the “terrible, shitty-ass morning” thing and the ‘do my meds even work or is this what I am like’ feeling.

    The best medication I ever had was love, though. Take good care of it, because when it ends, it’s really hard to get a new prescription.

  20. JohnF
    JohnF
    December 24, 2018 at 12:42 am | #

    So many people think anti-depressants are “Happy Pills”. Having been on most available over the years, until I hit the one that worked for me, they don’t work like that at all. They don’t make me “happy”, but now I’m on an effective dose of the right meds the world is no longer in shades of grey. I can appreciate the moments of joy and beauty in the world, and I no longer have to deal with suicidal ideation.

    But I’m still sad and empty a lot of the time. At least now I see enough value to life to keep living. The pills don’t make me “happy” though, that’s my choice whether to try to be happy or not. Previously that choice was denied by major depression.

  21. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    December 24, 2018 at 12:42 am | #

    I think Billie assumes happy meds will be “party Ruth” and not, “Ruth who does not want to die.”

    This is not a good assumption.

    Mind you Ruth will be not happy to find her alcoholism may be different from Billies in terms of why they do it.

  22. Keulen
    Keulen
    December 24, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

    I’m assuming Indiana would be a difficult place to learn how to train sharks, what with there being no oceans nearby and all.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 24, 2018 at 1:41 am | #

      As Dina will tell you, freshwater sharks can swim into Indiana. 😛

  23. Danielle
    Danielle
    December 24, 2018 at 1:42 am | #

    i want waffles

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 24, 2018 at 8:49 am | #

      Good answer.

  24. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 24, 2018 at 2:06 am | #

    Just a reminder that, medical treatment or no, Ruth is still having to find ways to cope with mental illness and strong suicidal urges.

    • Uly
      Uly
      December 24, 2018 at 2:33 am | #

      And the risk of suicide actually increases when one first starts anti-depressants.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 24, 2018 at 2:37 am | #

        Yeah, the extra energy makes it riskier they’ll carry it out before the meds kick in.

      • CJ
        CJ
        December 24, 2018 at 3:27 am | #

        Actually should depend on the meds, some increase impetus (right word? The impuls/wish and energy to act) more than others or before the other effects set in and that’s not what you should give people who have suicidal thoughts.

        Though it would be great to have a realistic depiction of the shit of finding one med doesn’t work for one and grade out that and grade in another, I’d rather Willis didn’t make us watch Ruth going through with that.

  25. fire_daws
    fire_daws
    December 24, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

    Mimosa?
    *Google search*
    Oh, it just a weak ass Buck’s Fizz.

    • Ainara
      Ainara
      December 24, 2018 at 2:45 am | #

      In my country we add vodka and gin to it on top of champagne and orange juice and we call it Agua de Valencia 😛

  26. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 24, 2018 at 3:10 am | #

    Yeah I’d so eat brunch for every meal. Omelettes and toast, mmmm.

  27. H3xx
    H3xx
    December 24, 2018 at 3:17 am | #

    As someone who’s had suicidal thoughts before, I know just how important it is to make it seem like a lot of work. Laziness saves lives, people.

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 24, 2018 at 8:53 am | #

      Yay laziness!!! Impetus of progress! Preserver of lives! My constant companion and benefactor!

    • Lore Krajsman
      Lore Krajsman
      December 24, 2018 at 9:53 am | #

      Laziness, and knowing something’ll hurt, and badly at that. That one helps as well, esp. when you have a low pain threshold like me

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 24, 2018 at 3:52 am | #

    BRUNCH DATE!

  29. Arianod
    Arianod
    December 24, 2018 at 5:10 am | #

    If there’s one single thing I respect about Billie, it’s that she REALLY loves that girl. Knowing that it’s going to be like this every time, and being prepared to go through this shit again and again for her sake, that’s true love.

    • geno
      geno
      December 24, 2018 at 10:49 am | #

      Billie loves booze more than Ruth….

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        December 24, 2018 at 2:35 pm | #

        That is going to be a problem, yes.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        December 24, 2018 at 5:52 pm | #

        Is that ‘Billie loves booze more than Ruth does’ or ‘more than she loves Ruth’? Either way could well be true.

        • Bathymetheus
          Bathymetheus
          December 24, 2018 at 10:42 pm | #

          My first impulse was to say “both”, but I think for Billie alcohol is a necessity which makes life bearable. I’m not sure she “loves” it. She thinks she needs it – can’t manage without it – and is not willing to try life without it.

          Do we have any backstory of abuse or something? I don’t remember seeing that, but it seems plausible.

          • Yumi
            Yumi
            December 24, 2018 at 11:28 pm | #

            Seems more like emotional neglect in her case.

  30. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    December 24, 2018 at 5:34 am | #

    I’d like Ruth to meet that girl Billie dated in high school who utterly cut ties with her. That would be an interesting meeting.

    • sirconanad
      sirconanad
      December 24, 2018 at 8:43 am | #

      You mean Alice? Billy met her again in the dining hall so maybe that’s where this is going.

  31. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 24, 2018 at 7:09 am | #

    It would be better to throw other people in the shark pool instead tho

    • Dana
      Dana
      December 24, 2018 at 4:16 pm | #

      The shark bites might ruin their femurs!

  32. JBento
    JBento
    December 24, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

    Something something happy holidays something something.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 24, 2018 at 9:08 am | #

      *Ruth voice* EHHHHHHHHHHHHH

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        December 24, 2018 at 9:44 am | #

        So long as she doesn’t have Joyce as Ghost of Christmas Past, Sal as Ghost of Christmas Present and Sarah as Ghost of Christmas Future, I think she’ll be able to manage!

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          December 24, 2018 at 1:37 pm | #

          Heh, now I REALLY want to see that.

  33. Jhon
    Jhon
    December 24, 2018 at 3:21 pm | #

    On first read I thought ‘mimosas’ was a new kind of fancy waffle.
    Turns out they’re actually trees.

  34. nightshade
    nightshade
    December 24, 2018 at 4:26 pm | #

    these days restaurant/bar mimosas are just cooks champagne in orange juice

  35. Kelandrea
    Kelandrea
    December 24, 2018 at 7:05 pm | #

    I mean besides the obvious recovering alcoholic thing, you really should NOT be drinking alcohol with meds. Some meds you can get away with it, but the higher the dosage the more likely you’ll be better off just… not. (or skipping a day if you want to have a drink)((this is just in my experience))

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 24, 2018 at 10:38 pm | #

      Yeah, I was on epilepsy meds for 16 years and they told me when I got older I couldn’t drink with my meds. That was actually one of the reasons a neurology resident told me I should come off my meds when I was fourteen.

      That resident was a quack and I did not take her advice. I’m 22 now and I rarely drink.

  36. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    December 25, 2018 at 2:31 pm | #

    We were given as a Canada souvenir some maple syrup in a bottle shaped as a maple. It was super nice but I realized I am more of a honey person.

  37. Micki
    Micki
    December 28, 2018 at 5:30 pm | #

    YAS RUTH I am also a syrup snob

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Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
CYBERWORLD trailer! www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTsf...
header image - Transformers: CYBERWORLD | OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER | Transformers Official
www.youtube.com
Transformers: CYBERWORLD | OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER | Transformers Official
YouTube video by TRANSFORMERS OFFICIAL
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(june 1, 2026)
It's Malaya!  They seem incredulous.
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
the need for the inclusion of the graphic is a sad reminder of the shockingly low literacy rate among geese
Sign reads “No Geese” and includes a graphic of a goose silhouette in a red circle with a line through it.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
well look at her, that child was right
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
which do you fuckin THINK, man
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned I can be thrown long enough over POLLY'S FIANCE IS *SIXTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN HER DAD?????* to momentarily forget to wonder HOW IS SISTER STEVEN STILL ALIVE
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Formal" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Formal
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