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Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
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New game! BOLTED 
Barb O. Saur 
DisGonBeGud.gif
Ah, pimping your ex. Why we love you Jennifer. You never fail to dig when you hit rock bottom.
Well, the thing is that.she never actually hits rock bottom. She drives drunk and has an accident; nobody’s hurt. She follows through on a lesbian suicide pact; everything works out. She manages to lose all her friends; there’s always Walky. She doesn’t have a drinking problem; she could stop if she wanted to. She’s not bi, she’s completely normal and it was just an experimental phase she was going through. But now she’s completely new person with everything under control. It’s all good.
It’s like she’s dug a tunnel around rock bottom and is orbiting it inside that tunnel. Constantly falling towards it, never getting there.
Hadron Collider of Rock Bottom
Kind of a HHGttG fall. She thinks she has learned to fly because she falls at the ground and misses.
This is kinda in bad faith, the comment that is. She obviously cares for Ruth in some fashion and can hold an actual conversation with her. She’s thinking a new relationship would be good for Ruth like she thinks it’s cool for her (Asher is a jerk though and can’t see that ending well)
Yeah, I don’t really see the “pimping” aspect of this.
Especially now that Ruth’s showing interest.
Given the constant abundance of commenters who asume the absolute worst of every single character’s actions and seem to hate them on scarily personal levels I really can’t help but wonder if people who Actually Enjoy this comic are a minority.
Yeah, these comments are weird and depressing sometimes.
Wait.. you’re assuming none of uslike watching people pimling their ex’s out to get job benefits? Or watching people try at life and fail? Haven’t you ever heard: misery loves company, and it’ll cut you off at the knees to keep you around. It doesn’t even have the decency to cook up the meat and feed you. It just tosses it out with the rest of the trash.
Honestly I don’t know much about Daisy besides she’s really horny so who knows how this match up will work.
Here’s hoping we find out.
you did that on purpose
I actually fell face first on to my keyboard and it happened entirely by accident.
alsdgkbhbbdsbmdsd.
Ow. Would not recommend.
There’s the Jennifer Billingsworth we know and love.
Also, having just read It’s Walky for the first time recently, Daisy stuck out to me in the final arc and I’d love to see this version of her get developed into a full-on character instead of just the one-note joke she’s been for ten years.
Yes please.
on the other hand that one note joke is very funny
It’s kinda nutty going back to the Walkyverse after ten years of this Daisy, where she empties a handgun into Beef’s face and turns it into hamburger meat.
For someone who’s Completely Over Ruth, she REALLY enjoys flirting with her.
what, “Jennifer” (Billie ver. 4 or 5) not being entirely honest with herself or others? no. nooooo. get out of the town.
I feel like Becky’s “plan” isn’t going well.
I mean. As much as I hate it, it’s not NOT working.
How so?
i’ve got this rube goldberg machine, here, that’s going to make the sun rise in the East, tomorrow
Now make it set in the West, and I’ll admit you’ve got something.
I dunno… I feel like they’re getting along well but not going to want to date again?
Possibly, but I could see things getting more complicated for them.
What even was her plan? At a certain point one person is no longer responsible for the actions of others. Whether they get back together or Ruth ends up marrying Daisy isn’t really on Becky. They were already broken up and arguing before she started obnoxiously shipping them. So I struggle to see her impact here.
Well, she did publicly humiliate them by throwing their history out in front of everyone, and talking about how perfect their future relationship was going to be. That’s an impact, right?
I mean, it has nothing to do with what she said she was trying to do, but… Details.
Her impact here was to get them out alone together in th hall. Her plan of making sure they weren’t getting back together may or may not have actually been helped by that.
Depends… Is this really the first time they’ve spoken since? Because I could imagine this being the new normal for them – periodic bickering that turns into normal conversation before bickering again the next time they see each other. In that case, this would just be another instance of that, while Becky’s overall goal of keeping them apart would still prevent it from developing into a more stable relationship.
If this just broke the thaw between them, though, then it could easily lead the two into returning to each other’s orbit over time, now that they’ve gotten past the initial argument.
And hey, maybe the date with Daisy will turn into an actual relationship! I mean, it’s possible, right? Of course, then that’s more a case of Becky’s plan accidentally succeeding instead of blowing up in her face, but…
Have to agree – there’s an awful lot of flirting going on here. Which, for these two, involves insults and threats of violence.
Now there’s a zinger right there…
Okay, fine, get the messy scary sobriety threatening date out with Daisy, then have something healthier with Booster.
Only please don’t actually lose your sobriety, Ruth.
Okay, grav roulette.
I refuse.
Haha, very funny.
OH COME ON.
Three in a row, what are the odds?
nope, had this yesterday
Carla, you’re still my likely backup (either you or Dina)
Again? XD
nope nope
anopesie
fine, I’ll be BJ cat today
The odds, they are low, but apparently not zero.
The universe wanted you to be Julia Gray tonight, but you fought the universe.
Fought AND WON, thank you.
We shall see. We shall see…
Well, this gravitar war anyway. XD
Entropy will always win.
Sarah’s not so bad. I’m a fan. Just for fun though. Reroll!
Oh. I actually forgot to do the reroll part.
Meh. Back to Sarah.
Embrace the Grey
NEVER. I wanna be a person! And not a character in a fic within a story.
Was reading some old comments, and all the grav related jokes are now nonsense. Of course for DYW that’s a feature, not a bug.
The Booster date was also going to be sobriety threatening.
Never threaten someone with an existential crisis if you want them to stay sober.
well uh at least they’re on speaking terms apparently
Them getting to that point is a good sign.
Awww! I’m a sucker for, better as friends, tropes.
Took eight years, but
Jen’s finally getting around to forwarding Ruth’s phone number to Daisy. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/blameless/
One of these days I will figure out HTML Tags
Botched the tags there too. Goddammit.
But it’s the strip before that one that is hilarious.
I like the one two before. SCOOT SCOOT SCOOT SCOOT
Ahahahaha
In-comic it’s only been a few months since that strip.
screammmm
I think the secret when foreshadowing this heavy over a long running story is to just plant a bunch of random seeds and then a decade later when looking over them just go “Yeah, we’ll go with that one!” and then everyone thinks you’re a genius.
It’s definitely fun to call back to one off jokes from way earlier in the comic
Well, we know that Willis is a genius storyteller anyway. But my suspicion is that Daisy is a red herring. The subtext of this conversation is not setting up Daisy.
Look, Daisy never gave her a timetable.
Even The Losers…Get Lucky Sometimes
Once the sitcom storylines begin there’s no going back. Hijinks will now ensue. It’s unavoidable.
Next thing you know Joyce is gonna get abducted by aliens or something!
Do Koreans count as aliens.
Technically, unless they have dual citizenship as Americans
*snarls at Les Habs*
Is Ruth attracted to blondes, first of all
“I am not going to fuck her, but I will probably try 1 date to see where this goes.”
well, that’s… better than going out drinking with Booster, but it still definitely falls under this comic’s title.
Hopefully it doesn’t end like Joe and Joyce’s date. But I could easily see Jennifer playing an accordian and hoping they share a spaghetti string.
I was really hoping that Jennifer was wrong.
Ruth isn’t exactly an innocent victim in her relationship with Billie. Everytime Billie thinks she’s doing what Ruth wanted, Ruth changed the parameters of their relationship. Bullying>Lesbian suicide pact>Trying to recover>Trying to force you to recover.
But I do think Ruth’s big issue is that she WAS getting better and wanted to share it. It’s just you can’t force your love into the same places you’re going.
To some extent ‘trying to recover’ mandated the ‘trying to force you to recover’ as Jennifer-then-Billie was flaunting bad habits that she promised to stop in front of Ruth while Ruth was trying VERY HARD to hold onto two bright spots in the sea of awful: The Antidepressants Are Working, and Billie Makes Me Happy(Mostly).
Yeah, which leads to the simple fact, “She was not a good person to be in a relationship with.”
I know the idea’s inception wasn’t the best, but I’ll hope for the best, for Ruth’s and all neighboring femurs’ sake.
*si (please assume there are 506 more i’s here) igh*
There’s something rather sweet about this, somehow. Maybe it’s the playful expressions, or that they’re being (for them) pretty civil. Sure as shit is a better place than they were at even moments prior.
It’s the kind of mood whiplash that Ruth/Jennifer was first built on!
They switched from flirting mode one to flirting mode two. I’ve missed this in the drama.
Ohhhh So THAT’S what lesbian fisting is.
Wait, is it? I feel lied to.
and I feel like a liar
STOP BEING CUTE!
Hey the Leafs are doing REALLY well this season!
Yeah, but what matters is how they do in the postseason. And they haven’t done that well in the postseason recently.
Yes, they always manage to find a way to screw it up.
Oh hush you. Technically, the Leafs are still in the same season, in-comic, that they were in when the comic started. (Well, I mean, yeah, it hadn’t started yet, but the previous season was LONG over…)
Technically, real world stuff is always Present Day, regardless of how much time has passed in-universe. It’s in the FAQ.
How many joints does Ruth’s index finger have?
The standard amount?
No, I think there’s an extra. If I try to make a fist with the first and second joints in that position, I just make an oblong OK sign. A closed fist bends the joints bent tighter than shown.
Her fingertips would be right underneath her thumb with only three joints. If I fold my fingers over my thumb I can get pretty close to the same angle, but that’s not exactly a fist…
It works artistically for getting the point across, and that’s what really matters. Sometimes a perfectly accurately drawn fist looks weird in a cartoon anyway.
Half a dozen. Her knuckle sandwiches have got a lot of knuckles.
It’s more of a very flat and broad knuckle
Wait, what?
So we’re actually doing this?
oh no
I dunno how they did it but now I’m all in for this
I do kinda want to see Ruth actually meet Daisy, but I still don’t like that Jennifer seems to be trying to get them together mostly for her own selfish reasons.
THIS! If I were Ruth, I would wallow in loneliness for a year before I’d give her the satisfaction. Hell, I’d get chummy with Walky just to spite her.
I am a flesh and blood machine that mostly operates across spite indexes.
Oh, good. I was afraid that the breakup had been due to ruth getting, like, physically violent with Jennifer. All that ‘you know what you did,’ and ‘it’s on you to avoid me’ business combined with ruth’s anger issues & threats of violence… but Jennifer wouldn’t have taken the punching comment as fun banter in that case.
You realize that if she and Daisy hit it off and start banging all the time and Daisy spin-kicks Clint’s face in, while you’re stuck with Crime Boy McShadyfuck, Jennifer, that’s on you.
Much like with Blaine, anyone that makes bad things happen to Clint desrves acclaim, not reproaching.
Oh, totally, I just feel like in that scenario Jennifer gets a massive wave of FOMO. Or, uh, just…OMO. Like, “I coulda been that girl! I COULDA KICKED IN HIS FACE AND MADE OUT WITH HER ON TOP OF HIS GRAVE! I coulda been a CONTENDER!”
Honestly, I’m still not convinced Clint didn’t orchestrate Ruth’s parents’ deaths (maybe using some form of Korean mob ties?) to give himself access to two children to abuse.
…I’m not sure I believe that, but.
BUT.
All of this talk about Clint has made me think.
I think I may know why Ruth and Jennifer broke up. And why Jennifer chose to change her name.
IIRC from a patreon strip flashing back to Ruth and Howard first being picked up by Clint he seemed pretty despondent that his daughter at least was dead (since it’s later established he hated his son in law).
I really need to read those…
Ash killed Blaine so he’s automatically the best of the male cast.
This is factually completely incorrect, but arranging Blaine’s death certainly doesn’t weigh *against* our beloved edgelord Crime Boy.
I never got “nihilistic” from Daisy, or particularly “pissy”. She totally beats Ruth (and everyone else) at “desperate”, though.
Daisy’s also not particularly punchable. This has the air of, “I like you, so I’m going to set you up with someone with whom you will hate, so you’ll see me in a better light”. I love it when these plans backfire.
If you squint, I guess she is – she doesn’t appear to care one whit about the paper she manages, which could come across as somewhat nihilistic, and I could see Daisy’s attitude towards Jennifer’s attempts to do more meaningful work there coming across as pissy from her perspective.
I mean, it’s not how I’d describe her, but I could see how Jennifer could come to that description without bending the truth too much.
She’s probably not really what Ruth is looking for, though. Though I guess she’d make a safe rebound relationship, maybe?
This tells us more about Jennie than it does about Daisy.
Being fair, we haven’t seen much of Daisy besides horny. Jennifer’s presumably had more interaction with her.
HELL YES
To get ahead, you don’t gotta sleep with your boss – you just gotta get your boss laid!
*fist-pumps so hard, arm is broken*
See? Jennifer’s ideas are not so bad! Something’s working for her. The meds? Archer? Anyway, as this is DoA, expect a downfall to Billie’s lows from here.
Now I’m imagining Asher in an EMIYA costume. And Jennifer in twin-tails.
Jennifer doing some faz faces here, I think she is often a pretty obnoxious person to me, but even moreso when she is trying to play matchmaker.
Please, Billie. I’ll call you Jennifer if you’ll quit fucking up your modifiers. “Your Maple Leafs jacket says different.” “Different” doesn’t modify “says.” It modifies Ruth’s will to win. Not every modifier near a verb needs a “ly.”
That depends on what she actually means. If she’s saying that Ruth’s talking Maple Leafs jacket would have phrased what Ruth said in a different way….
I’m sorry I posted that comment. It was late, and my compulsion to correct came out.
I know this is a hot mess but its nice to see that Ruth and Billie still care for each other. (Also good on Billie for standing her ground/ maintaining her boundaries.)
That’s very interesting… Maybe thay can be a good couple.
You won’t want to punch her, but if everything goes well, you will want to use your fists on her.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Are we being too harsh on Jennifer, simply because she found a new clique? Yes, the relationship with Ruth is over, but she showed genuine concern about Ruth turning 21, falling off the bandwagon, and messing up her meds. And, again yes, their are ulterior motives for hooking up Ruth with Daisy, but there is also, “hey, I know someone, you are going to like her.” Lets give Jennifer the benefit if the doubt, and stop labeling her as, “the worst person ever”, because she is no longer shipped with someone you like.
On the other hand, I bet she drinks Diet Pepsi.
Thank you for this comment.
God, of course I got Ruth.
Her banter with Ruth has honestly been a relief, because she actually seems to still have some part of her personality. Sure, people change, but it’s been a few months, not YEARS.
FUCK. I just realized some shit, in light of this almost friendly, melancholy interaction.
Remember what one of the big stumbling blocks was that wasn’t, you know, the alcoholic suicide pact or Jennifer’s internalized biphobia?
And how it was Clint? And how Jennifer wanted to take big, bold action against him, whereas Ruth wanted to keep her head down and try not to incur her abuser’s wrath?
Who, uh, who do we think might’ve made another appearance during the time skip, it being the jolly old holidays and all? And remember how he was adamant that Ruth and Jennifer not be together? And how Ruth’s last sliver of defiance was saying “her name is Billie?”
I think Clint may be why they broke up, y’all. We’re looking at the aftermath of a legitimate tragedy.
Oh damn, I didn’t even think of that.
Neither did I! I was too distracted by how back on her old bullshit Jennifer was, but now! Now I UNDERSTAND!
I had thought about the possibility that Clint was involved somehow, but I’m not sure exactly what he could have done. He’d already tried to break them up once before by having Jennifer moved to another dorm, and they kept at it anyway. I’m not sure how he would have gotten wind of it. The worst case scenario I can think of is that he flat-out killed Howard, but then he wouldn’t have anything to hold over Ruth anymore.
The best theory I can think of that he could have been involved is if he paid Asher to manipulate Jennifer into thinking Ruth was bad for her, or something like that. We know that there are no lengths he won’t go to to make sure that Ruth and Howard are miserable…
Most of the abusive parents in this comic have some sort of fucked-up internal logic for the way they do things. An unduly-charitable analysis of Ross would suggest that he believed his wife went to Hell for committing suicide and believes that any actions, no matter how horrible, are justified to “save” Becky from the same fate. A more accurate analysis is that Ross saw Becky as a mere extension of himself and thus considered her sexuality a personal failing on his part. Carol is basically a more passive version of Ross, and thus allowed her sympathy for his motives and her… belief in forgiveness, maybe? I’m no fundie expert… to outweigh the fact that he’d threatened Joyce with a gun. I have no doubt that if she knew Jocelyne was trans she would try to kidnap her and send her to conversion therapy, too. Linda seems to think her harsh treatment of Sal is necessary to “correct” someone she sees as “trouble,” failing to recognize the reason why she’s never seen Sal as anything but trouble since the day she was born. Blaine was mostly an exception, as while it’s possible he believed in his “tough love” approach to some degree in the past, his actions were pretty much entirely motivated by not wanting to pay for Amber’s education.
Clint… isn’t like any of them. Apart from in front of other people, he makes no pretenses at all about caring about Ruth, and it’s pretty clear that he hates her purely because he hated her father when he was alive, and is disgusted that she resembles him so strongly and her mother so little. Clint refuses to see her as her own person, instead seeing only the face of the man who he never thought was good enough for his daughter. Even in his own fucked-up logic he has no concern for her well being whatsoever, nor is he ambivalent– he wants her to suffer, and suffer she will. Next to collecting vintage 1960s G.I. Joes, it’s his entire goal in life.
Unless, of course, he hurt Jennifer. Shit, that’s darker than I’d been thinking. Though in that case I think Jennifer would be more hesitant to set Ruth up with… anyone, really.
My current theory is that Jennifer is trying to expose the truth behind the kidnapping and Mike’s death. Amber seemed to know that the Korean mafia was involved, and it’s possible that she or Amazi-Girl tipped her off about this because they don’t want Mike to have died in vain. Jennifer would have known Asher as a kid and presumably had some idea that he was involved in organized crime, so maybe she has a hunch about him and is only getting close to weasel some info out. Bonus points if it turns out that Clint also has ties to the mafia and she’s trying to drag him down, too, to remove the biggest obstacle to Ruth’s happiness and possibly their eventual reunion. “Head cheerleader, problem solver” anyone?
On the topic of Clint’s goals: I don’t think he’s determined to see Ruth and Howard suffer for no reason—I think, like you said, he has a fucked-up internal logic. His logic is that Ruth engaging in the kind of “degenerate” antics her father presumably did makes him look bad, and as such he will force her *not to do that.* She will obey him, no matter what he has to do for that to happen, and she will live her life how he sees fit. Not how she does.
BUT, here’s the thing, in this framework, he doesn’t have to do anything or even learn anything in order to break them up. It could be as simple as he decided to come visit for the holidays and Ruth panicked and told Jennifer they had to act like they’re not together, because Clint can’t know or he’ll punish Howard, and Jennifer was just not having it; she’s had to lose all her secrets and all her mystique, and Ruth wants her to hide rather than fight an evil man?
Hell, it could even have been a short visit or a phone call to Ruth to congratulate her about how she handled the kidnapping fiasco at exactly the wrong time. Jennifer wants to take Clint down, Ruth doesn’t believe he can be, and that could’ve torn them apart without the villain himself lifting a finger.
As an extra-tragic, Pepe Silvia conspiracy idea, and I stress this is TINFOIL HAT TERRITORY: Jennifer’s entire fucking deal with Asher, getting really into this dangerous mafia boy, might not be because she doesn’t know shit, but because she absolutely does.
She’s trying to use Asher’s resources to off Clint! If she has to become the enemy of the one she loves to protect the one she loves, she’ll do it!
(This, of course, requires Jennifer to suddenly be really good at deduction, and learn that Blaine was killed, and that Asher did it, etc., etc. It is a WILDLY unlikely theory.
If it’s at all true, though, I called it, here, TODAY.)
Agreed on Clint’s internal “logic”. Like many abusers, his plans are all for her own good, with his own definition of good that ignores her wants and needs.
Clint also arranged for the truck to run over Sal’s motorcycle.
Oh no
Anyway I only learned today that the second issue of the Beast Wars comic was out so I bought it and it was really bad and now I’m absolutely despondent.
weird vibes
Ruth didn’t promise. Not surprising, I guess. But I wish she would.