Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 22, 2026

Heart-shape

by David M Willis on March 4, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 03 – See You in the Funny Page
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (279) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    March 4, 2021 at 12:02 am | #

    Someone FINALLY thinking of Daisy!!

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      I fully expect Daisy to reject her unless Jennifer gets Ruth to dress as Wonder Woman first.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 4, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

        Ruth’s a redhead, maybe Jean Grey or Batgirl would be better.

        …Neither has a chest window, though.

        • C.T Phipps
          C.T Phipps
          March 4, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

          We can use obscure Mary Jane Watson lookalike “Jackpot”

          • PB
            PB
            March 4, 2021 at 12:54 am | #

            You COULD just go with a Mary Jane outfit, even though there’s no chest window.

            • HeySo
              HeySo
              March 4, 2021 at 1:51 am | #

              I betcha fifteen seconds into any fight she gets caught up in, one’ll magically appear, though. 🙄

        • Psychie
          Psychie
          March 4, 2021 at 6:50 pm | #

          No version of the cannon Wonder Woman costume that I am aware of has a chest window, you’re probably thinking of Power Girl. Wonder Woman’s iconic costume does have lots of cleavage, but not because of a window, but rather because the costume just kinda stops half-way up her boobs, I forget what it’s called, but it’s that thing that’s basically a corset but isn’t intended to be worn under or over another top the way corsets are (in my experience).

          • River
            River
            March 5, 2021 at 5:29 pm | #

            Bodice

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        March 4, 2021 at 12:58 am | #

        Maybe she could settle for Black Widow with her top unzipped to the sternum. It’s not really a chest window, but I don’t think Daisy has high standards at this point.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 2:41 am | #

        Maybe Daisy would go for the whole business suit Lois Lane reporter look? Ruth is too reserved for a lot of superheroine wardrobe tropes, but she would rock a blazer.

      • Lars
        Lars
        March 4, 2021 at 2:44 am | #

        Ruth could go as Poison Ivy, covered in Tornonto Maple Leafs.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        March 4, 2021 at 3:53 am | #

        I think Daisy’s desperate enough she’ll take anything at this point

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    March 4, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Jennifer: There’s no way this plan could possibly go wro-

    (Smash cut to Jennifer, Ruth, and Daisy all in bed together)

    Jennifer: Dammit!

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      March 4, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      Slipshine cut, you mean.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      March 4, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

      Ha! That sounds like something that would happen one of my novels.

      Polyamory – the solution to all – er, most – love polygons.

      • Caninse
        Caninse
        March 4, 2021 at 9:46 am | #

        “Why don’t we do the sophisticated thing and all sleep together?”

        • Rose by Any Other Name
          Rose by Any Other Name
          March 4, 2021 at 11:11 am | #

          You have quotation marks around that which makes me think you are referencing something, but I don’t recognize what. Citation please. ^^

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            March 4, 2021 at 2:29 pm | #

            It’s the line old Ben Kenobi said to Darth Vader right before that fateful chop.

          • a/snow/mous/e
            a/snow/mous/e
            March 4, 2021 at 10:15 pm | #

            Google suggests it came from this pasta-themed David Bowie movie.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      March 4, 2021 at 8:32 am | #

      Why does a ship made of matches sound EXTREMELY flamable?

      • Despite Rage
        Despite Rage
        March 4, 2021 at 9:47 am | #

        Meh, just another person trying to describe something hot.

        bah dum tish… I’ll leave now

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 4, 2021 at 9:47 am | #

      This is, like, Billie’s take on Joyce’s “Parent Trap” schemes.

  3. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    March 4, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Okay Jennifer hasn’t really changed at all. Daisy does need to get laid though.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      Jennifer is now thinking of others as well as herself.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        March 4, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

        Pretty sure it’s only herself. It’s just convenient that it kind of works out as long as she completely disregards any opinion Ruth might have on this.

        • Bluesnake463
          Bluesnake463
          March 4, 2021 at 2:44 am | #

          And this still goes back to Jennifer equating being in a new relationship with moving on. Clearly, neither of them is good with what happened and no amount of bonning will change that.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 2:45 am | #

        Not really? Sure getting Ruth and Daisy together might work out well for them, but she’s framing that as a way to get both of them off her back with their happiness as a side bonus.

        Of course getting your boss together with your ex can’t possibly go wrong in any way.

  4. BBCC
    BBCC
    March 4, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Jennifer, you never HAD a regular beat, what’s this again crap? You had the AG story for four days and Daisy took it away from you after one article because Dorothy was a better writer, handed in her work in a timely manner, didn’t insert herself in her stories and because she thought you were a spoiled brat. That’s hardly a beat. 😛

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      March 4, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      Uh…that was “Billie”. Jennifer has probably had plenty of beats over the time skip. We just weren’t there to see it but I bet they were really cool, and relevant!

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      March 4, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

      It is possible that Jennifer had other pieces after the AG event. But even if she did, getting Daisy laid is not going to get her a job.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        March 4, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

        It might. Daisy has made it clear she actually thinks the newspaper is a joke and is using Amazi-Girl for her porn stash.

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          March 4, 2021 at 1:57 am | #

          Given that she plays off JJ Jameson, this makes me heavily question just why exactly JJ kept ardently insisiting on new pictures of Spider-Man. Especially since we were shown several times in the comics that the photos used for front pagers were generic skyline shots that weren’t specific to any individual event and, thereby, could easily have been pulled from the thousands of photos that Peter Parker- and, strangely enough, only Peter Parker- managed to deliver over the previous months, years, and then decades.

          Honestly, looking at it straightforwardly like that, JJ having a Spider-Man fetish is really the only way to explain his near-addiction of purchasing endless amounts of dubiously acquired photos off of the rather disliked part-timer. >.>

          • HeySo
            HeySo
            March 4, 2021 at 2:00 am | #

            Scratch the “near” in “near-addiction”. I had momentarily forgot- or, rather, erased from mind- that time I walked in on JJ huffing his photo stash like it was a mountain of crack. And you don’t even wanna know the usage he was putting symbiote to, at the time.. 😥

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            March 4, 2021 at 2:53 am | #

            There’s a parody out there somewhere of J. Jonah Jameson tacking pictures of Spider-Man to his bedroom wall and then staring at them while dreamily kicking his feet in the air like a teenage girl looking at boy band posters, but damned if I can’t find the thing right now. (I want to say it was drawn by Meredith Gran, Kate Beaton, or someone who could ape their styles, but I could be misremembering that. It’s been a while since I last stumbled across it.)

            • Daggart
              Daggart
              March 4, 2021 at 6:31 pm | #

              Wait wait, so JJ is tsundre

              • HeySo
                HeySo
                March 5, 2021 at 4:30 am | #

                If you Japanisize (is that a word?) western comics, then you’re basically stuck either turning tsundere or turning into an ikemen [ie, pretty boy]. Not sure I’ve ever seen one where that wasn’t true.. other’n maybe that weird one where the Ninja Turtles become Power Rangers..

                [ I can’t find it anymore, but there used to be a whole meme about the ikemen thing. It wasn’t just western conversions, either- even eastern ones like Mario Bros saw them (and even Koopa) turned into completely prettified versions of themselves. Also, for the Ninja Turtles reference, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutant_Turtles:_Superman_Legend ]

          • GreyICE
            GreyICE
            March 4, 2021 at 3:56 pm | #

            3J being spider-sexual makes too much sense.

          • Zach
            Zach
            March 4, 2021 at 8:27 pm | #

            And Spider-Man being gay is the only way to explain his chast, near platonic love for MJ while wrestling scantily clad, muscly bad boys, who mostly are good inside and just need someone to save them.

            • HeySo
              HeySo
              March 5, 2021 at 4:42 am | #

              After Gwen Stacy died, Peter just never could find it in himself to love another woman. However, Peter felt regret over what he had lost out on, and was overcome by the loneliness of his loss. Hence his grabbing on to Mary Jane, in an attempt to claim what he could have.

              However, as time went on, Peter just.. couldn’t deny the truth of things anymore. His time with Mary Jane was only emphasizing how his relationship was a superficial substitute for what he actually wanted and, further, he had come to find a.. satisifaction in his more.. physical crimefighting activities that his life with Mary Jane just couldn’t provide him.

              Oh, there were females there, but that just felt awkward, for the reasons noted before. No, it was only with other males that Peter felt reassured. As time went on, that reassurance turned into something.. more pleasurable.

              However, Peter was trapped in his marriage, and- coward that he is- couldn’t bring himself to break up with Mary Jane. After all, MJ did love him, even if he couldn’t properly reciprocate. I mean, why else would she have stuck through his misogynist phase, repeated monster attacks and abductions, and all the other bullshit that came from his poor personality and troubled lifestyle? No, Peter just couldn’t bring himself to do it. However, at the same time, his marriage was going nowhere.

              In fact, as the lack of children after years of marriage showed, he had come to actively avoid intimacy with MJ, instead spending his time fully on the streets looking for other distractions. And then, he came on to an idea.. what if MJ just.. didn’t remember him?

              A quick ring-up of his old frenemy Mephisto and wam, bam: Peter had everything he ever wanted. Well, except Gwen Stacy? Whoops, guess he coulda just wished her back. Or maybe even old Uncle Ben..

              But shit, we knew our buddy Peter was going to fuck something up. I mean, this the same guy who sent a murder after his Uncle, and that before a rather historied series of similar “whoopsies”. Oh, well..

              So true love was still off the table but, hey- no guarantees Gwen would still love him now anyway. Nah, being able to commit himself fully to his newfound homosexuality was a much safer option.

              Besides, have you seen the ass on Deadpool or Wolverine? And with both of them hanging around the Avengers, which Spider-man was now a part of..

              Mmm, yeah. No, this life is good. Let’s just throw his obligations to his female romantic partners and his uncle and his parents to the wayside, and just enjoy the freedom of sexual exploration that this wish with Mephisto earned him.

              I mean… doesn’t Spider-Man deserve to enjoy a little bit of friendly neighborhood “recreation”? Think of all the people he has saved over the years. Yeah, this is EARNED. Let’s focus on taking care of ME for a change. I mean.. not really a change but, whatever. Sexy male on male times, let’s go!

              #HeadCanon
              #SomehowFanInterpretationsAlwaysEndUpInGayHijinks
              #StillMakesMoreSenseThanTheOfficialExplanationLetsBeHonest

            • HeySo
              HeySo
              March 5, 2021 at 4:43 am | #

              Ew. Font-fixed version:

              After Gwen Stacy died, Peter just never could find it in himself to love another woman. However, Peter felt regret over what he had lost out on, and was overcome by the loneliness of his loss. Hence his grabbing on to Mary Jane, in an attempt to claim what he could have.

              However, as time went on, Peter just.. couldn’t deny the truth of things anymore. His time with Mary Jane was only emphasizing how his relationship was a superficial substitute for what he actually wanted and, further, he had come to find a.. satisifaction in his more.. physical crimefighting activities that his life with Mary Jane just couldn’t provide him.

              Oh, there were females there, but that just felt awkward, for the reasons noted before. No, it was only with other males that Peter felt reassured. As time went on, that reassurance turned into something.. more pleasurable.

              However, Peter was trapped in his marriage, and- coward that he is- couldn’t bring himself to break up with Mary Jane. After all, MJ did love him, even if he couldn’t properly reciprocate. I mean, why else would she have stuck through his misogynist phase, repeated monster attacks and abductions, and all the other bullshit that came from his poor personality and troubled lifestyle? No, Peter just couldn’t bring himself to do it. However, at the same time, his marriage was going nowhere.

              In fact, as the lack of children after years of marriage showed, he had come to actively avoid intimacy with MJ, instead spending his time fully on the streets looking for other distractions. And then, he came on to an idea.. what if MJ just.. didn’t remember him?

              A quick ring-up of his old frenemy Mephisto and wam, bam: Peter had everything he ever wanted. Well, except Gwen Stacy? Whoops, guess he coulda just wished her back. Or maybe even old Uncle Ben..

              But shit, we knew our buddy Peter was going to fuck something up. I mean, this the same guy who sent a murder after his Uncle, and that before a rather historied series of similar “whoopsies”. Oh, well..

              So true love was still off the table but, hey- no guarantees Gwen would still love him now anyway. Nah, being able to commit himself fully to his newfound homosexuality was a much safer option.

              Besides, have you seen the ass on Deadpool or Wolverine? And with both of them hanging around the Avengers, which Spider-man was now a part of..

              Mmm, yeah. No, this life is good. Let’s just throw his obligations to his female romantic partners and his uncle and his parents to the wayside, and just enjoy the freedom of sexual exploration that this wish with Mephisto earned him.

              I mean… doesn’t Spider-Man deserve to enjoy a little bit of friendly neighborhood “recreation”? Think of all the people he has saved over the years. Yeah, this is EARNED. Let’s focus on taking care of ME for a change. I mean.. not really a change but, whatever. Sexy male on male times, let’s go!

              #HeadCanon
              #SomehowFanInterpretationsAlwaysEndUpInGayHijinks
              #StillMakesMoreSenseThanTheOfficialExplanationLetsBeHonest

              • HeySo
                HeySo
                March 5, 2021 at 4:44 am | #

                Also, in case that’s cutting off for any of you as well:

                #..AlwaysEndUpInGayHijinks
                #..lExplanationLetsBeHonest

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        March 4, 2021 at 3:46 am | #

        She covered Becky and the Kidnapping, and I’m pretty sure got the Amazi-Girl beat back after Dorothy gave it up

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      March 4, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

      I think Jen took over for Dorothy after her grades started slipping.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 2:56 am | #

        They both worked for the paper at the same time. I think Dorothy probably signed on first, but we get to see Jennifer’s interview with Daisy early on in the comic.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/chestwindow/

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          March 4, 2021 at 3:45 am | #

          I know, but around Book 7 Dorothy dropped her Amazi-Girl reporting to focus on her studies, and I’m pretty sure Jen took over for her

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        March 4, 2021 at 12:12 pm | #

        I remember she did a story on Becky but that iirc that was a submitted story, not a regular beat. I remember Dorothy talking to AG about the possibility of a new reporter but I don’t think we ever actually saw Billie do any AG reporting.

        Regardless, Dorothy giving the beat back because she can’t do it anymore isn’t really the same as Billie being (re)hired and assigned the beat by Daisy, which is what she wants here.

  5. Proxiehunter
    Proxiehunter
    March 4, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Jennifer, guard your femurs.

  6. Octopus Ink
    Octopus Ink
    March 4, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    “Straight Pimpin’: The Jennifer Billingsworth Story.
    Tonight on FOX!

  7. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 4, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    aaaaaaaaalpha boooooongo

    • Clif
      Clif
      March 4, 2021 at 2:43 am | #

      Alpha Bongo, problem solver. Goody! The maximum hijinks solution.

    • milu
      milu
      March 4, 2021 at 3:35 am | #

      Did you type “alpha bongo”, or that word that gets bongoed-out, but with extra vowels for emphasis? If the latter, its neat that it replaced it with a similarly lengthened “bongo”. If the former, please carry on

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        March 4, 2021 at 3:48 am | #

        I don’t think the ‘bongo to bongo’ filter covers spelling alterations. I think saying ‘biiiiiiiiiitch’ will sneak past

        • milu
          milu
          March 4, 2021 at 4:22 am | #

          Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. You’re so smart

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 4, 2021 at 4:27 am | #

          #LifeHack

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 4, 2021 at 4:29 am | #

        I always write “the word that means drums” rather than “the word that is a slur”, to the extent that I was really surprised at one point when I actually was trying to write the slur and saw it replaced with drums.

        I had forgotten the entire joke about alpha bongo and just took the term as the proper description of Jennifer-in-highschool

        • milu
          milu
          March 4, 2021 at 4:51 am | #

          Slur that means drums…?? Wow i’m feeling extra dumb today =D and/or US cultural reference whizzing me by on account of not being from the US?

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            March 4, 2021 at 6:54 am | #

            No, it’s much dumber than that.

            If you try to write the word (which is a slur) ‘biitch’ (but with one ‘i”) in this comment section it’s replaced by the word ‘bongo’.

            The reason for that is that we pissed Willis of too much the at one point and the slur was overused, so he added a filter.

            That pretty much immediately became an internal meme, especially since Jennifer refers to herself as ‘alpha biitch’, which then turned into ‘alpha bongo’.

            and finally, one glorious day, Joyce brought it all full circle
            https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/02-but-the-sun-still-shines/infectious/

            • ValdVin
              ValdVin
              March 4, 2021 at 8:07 am | #

              Great callback. I’d forgotten that one!

              And that’s why I literally use the word boingo when I would use the other one.

            • milu
              milu
              March 4, 2021 at 8:50 am | #

              oh oh sorry yes i was being thick then smh
              i read your comment and thought you were referring to another substitution for some slur that was homonymous with a word for drums or something convoluted like…

              anyway, i was aware that bongo was getting substituted for b*tch around here but i really appreciate the historical digest, thanks! =D

              • milu
                milu
                March 4, 2021 at 9:03 am | #

                anyway, KING OF THE BONGO

                • Bagge
                  Bagge
                  March 4, 2021 at 9:20 am | #

                  No problem 🙂 Things got convoluted fast and it was fun to do a recap

                  Now I really want to know how king of the bongo rank vs alpha bongo.

                • milu
                  milu
                  March 4, 2021 at 11:56 am | #

                  Guess they need to POGOOOO

  8. Yup
    Yup
    March 4, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    JENNIFER NO!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 4, 2021 at 9:20 am | #

      Becky: Jennifer Yes

  9. He Who Abides
    He Who Abides
    March 4, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    Jennifer no

  10. katosen27
    katosen27
    March 4, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    Jennifer, don’t be surprised if this blows back hard in your femurs.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 4, 2021 at 1:01 am | #

      At this point it’s safe to say that any danger her femurs might be in due to her present and future actions is incapable of increasing the danger they’re already in due to her past actions.

  11. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    March 4, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    Nothing says that you are over completely than when your ex wants to pimp you to another woman. Not speaking from experience. Probably.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      March 4, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      I have surprisingly relevant experience that says otherwise.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        March 4, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

        You wot, mate?

        • Sam
          Sam
          March 4, 2021 at 12:44 am | #

          Sometimes people have complicated behaviour. I feel like Jennifer is projecting and is the one still interested in them being together but obviously if you are in denial and projecting those feelings on the other person, it makes perfect sense to try to push this someone to be with someone else. You know, so they get over you. Based on your actual feelings, it makes 0 sense to do that, but it makes perfect sense to if you are trying to force yourself to be over them/make them unavailable to yourself.

        • He Who Abides
          He Who Abides
          March 4, 2021 at 7:08 am | #

          @Taffy – back when we were in high school, my now-wife encouraged me to date a mutual friend who thought she still had a crush on me from back when we were in grade school, while not-yet-Mrs. Abides and I were dating.

          • Bogeywoman
            Bogeywoman
            March 4, 2021 at 7:23 am | #

            Ive had a friend try to pimp me out to /her/ ex to get her off her back…. twice… *grumblelesbiansgrumble*

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        March 4, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

        I also have such experience. It’s possible your ex fixes you up with another woman to keep you around.

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          March 4, 2021 at 12:41 am | #

          That sounds incredibly creepy to me.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            March 4, 2021 at 9:45 am | #

            That shoe fits. The people that I have been with have been incredibly toxic and creepy. And yes, I know the common element is me. Thanks be to the parent that role modelled that gender for me.

    • zee
      zee
      March 4, 2021 at 11:14 am | #

      Nothing says you’re completely over your ex like getting personally invested in their sex life out of nowhere /s

  12. bcb
    bcb
    March 4, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Ruth and Daisy would be a bad couple too. Now the question is: is Jennifer better at getting people together than Becky is at breaking them up? My money’s on Becky.

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      March 4, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      No one said anything about “couple”.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        March 4, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

        Couple minutes, more like.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          March 4, 2021 at 3:51 am | #

          What’s with the albino-looking Ruth avatar?

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            March 4, 2021 at 4:22 am | #

            I’m a big fan of Kingdom Hearts.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              March 4, 2021 at 6:24 am | #

              It kinda makes her look like a cool aunt who casually swears and easily beats you at Mario Kart.

            • Demoted Oblivious
              Demoted Oblivious
              March 4, 2021 at 9:49 am | #

              That is a gorgeous avatar. But I don’t know Kingdom Hearts. Who is she?

              • StClair
                StClair
                March 4, 2021 at 3:59 pm | #

                Kingdom Hearts is a console game series, combining elements of prior works by Square/Enix (the makers) and Disney.
                Without delving too deep into the lore, the modified character design indicates that this is a “Nobody” of Ruth, a sort of doppleganger made from elements of the original.

              • Thag Simmons
                Thag Simmons
                March 4, 2021 at 6:08 pm | #

                As I understand it Yellow Eyes + Silver Hair is Kingdom Hearts shorthand for corruption by the darkness

            • Thag Simmons
              Thag Simmons
              March 4, 2021 at 2:02 pm | #

              Ah, makes sense

    • Sam
      Sam
      March 4, 2021 at 11:52 am | #

      The really funny thing about it that Jennifer isn’t considering at all, is that even if it WORKED, it would then mean that if Ruth said she was uncomfy being near Jennifer, that Daisy would instantly fire her without question. Like, it absolutely could backfire very very quickly.

  13. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    March 4, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    Jennifer, even if the breakup with Ruth was her fault, throwing her attempt to be civil back in her face makes you look like the jackass here. Then to go on and suggest she needs to get laid to fix herself is magnitudes more insensitive than anything Ruth has said thus far.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      No, no, it’s a favor.

      You see, she wants to prostitute Ruth out for her career! 🙂

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 4, 2021 at 2:45 am | #

        Win. Win.

        • AGV
          AGV
          March 4, 2021 at 5:37 am | #

          *win win win

  14. Raen
    Raen
    March 4, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    If she’s been this hard up for six months, I’m guessing her bar is a bit higher than Ruth can hurdle.

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      March 6, 2021 at 4:39 am | #

      Nah, I think this is linked to Billie’s thoughts on gender relationships.

  15. Wishwater
    Wishwater
    March 4, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    This would be a disaster couple. But Daisy does need laid, so hey, let’s go for it!

  16. Jane
    Jane
    March 4, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    I. Well. Um.

    How exactly does she manage to make “I know two lonely people who would be great together, and it would get them out of my hair!” sound so sleazy.

    (Assuming she actually meant it that way, and not… Well, the other, much worse way.)

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

      No, no, Jennifer totally wants to prostitute Ruth out.

      🙂

    • Sam
      Sam
      March 4, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

      It sounds sleazy because her evidence for Ruth’s loneliness is projected, we have no evidence they would get along to any degree, and Jennifer only wants it to happen for her own benefit despite the fact she is in no position to ask Ruth for favours.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        March 4, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

        Ruth should just do what Jennifer suggests. It’ll be better for all.

      • Jane
        Jane
        March 4, 2021 at 12:35 am | #

        I don’t think the fact that she only wants it for her own benefit is necessarily an issue, so long as she sincerely believes it would help the other two – doing a good deed for others is still a good thing.

        That said, I was only reflecting on how bad she made it sound – it’s a bad idea in practice for other reasons (like the first two you named), but if she’d gone with, say, “Hey, why not date my editor? She’s just as lonely, and she’s cute – you’d like her” instead of, well, what she actually said… It’d have been “just” a bad, tone-deaf idea instead of sounding like she’s trying to bribe her editor with sexual favors from a party who would take great offense at that proposal.

        What I’m saying is, she definitely rolled a Dramatic Failure on her Charm+Diplomacy roll here.

        • Sam
          Sam
          March 4, 2021 at 11:38 am | #

          I get what you mean now. Yeah, it takes some extra talent to say it in the exact worst way possible like this.

  17. Liam
    Liam
    March 4, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    I’m sensing that Jennifer’s femurs are in danger.

    • Nayann Martinelli
      Nayann Martinelli
      March 4, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

      Femur sense is tingling…

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      March 4, 2021 at 2:48 am | #

      “I’ve boned you, and goddammit, now I’m going to debone you!”

  18. danielle
    danielle
    March 4, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    good job, jennifer

    • milu
      milu
      March 4, 2021 at 3:46 am | #

      two thumbs up and a slow nod

  19. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    March 4, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    I feel like pimping out your ex to your current boss is kinda fucked up.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

      Either Jennifer is a fan of polygamy or is officially over Ruth.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        March 4, 2021 at 1:04 am | #

        Or Jennifer’s in denial about being over Ruth.

        And I have a hard time imagining her NOT being in denial about anything factual.

        • milu
          milu
          March 4, 2021 at 3:44 am | #

          Yeah like five minutes ago she was in denial about the moon having cyclical phases!! Unbelievable.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 4, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

      It’s better to be fucking up instead of fucking down, as it were.

      • Nayann Martinelli
        Nayann Martinelli
        March 4, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

        Words to live by.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        March 4, 2021 at 1:22 am | #

        What about fucking laterally?

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          March 4, 2021 at 6:28 am | #

          Or fucking off?

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        March 4, 2021 at 9:56 am | #

        When I fuck up, I end up fucking down, and my worst fuck ups were fucking some nasty fuckers, so I am well and truly fucked and just need to fuck off or gtfo.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      March 4, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

      Probably violates HR regulations too.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 6:32 am | #

        How? Ruth and Daisy work for completely different departments of IU, they’re not under each other’s chain of command at all.

        Ruth and Jennifer’s relationship overstepped boundaries far more than Ruth and Daisy hypothetically would.

        • zee
          zee
          March 4, 2021 at 11:19 am | #

          I think more in the sense that an employee pimping their ex out to their boss probably violates some hr thing somewhere

  20. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    March 4, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

    I know throwing some ass Dasiy’s way is a Joke we’ve thrown around that would probably work if we’re being serous, but this is a bold as hell favor to ask your ex of all people to do. Also Ruth isn’t Walky she will leave if agitated enough.

  21. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    March 4, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

    Gross, Jennifer.

  22. Dave Van Domelen
    Dave Van Domelen
    March 4, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ba/b6/e0/bab6e0945340d5aed419ce043c2f378e.gif

  23. Jay
    Jay
    March 4, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    Welp glad to see that not everything’s changed about Billie/Jennifer. She still gives AWFUL life advice.

  24. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 4, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    Listen I’m lonely as fuck but also I don’t necessarily wanna get laid. Ok so I like REALLY wanna get laid but not because I’m lonely. God y’know what’s better than getting laid? Fucking headpats and cuddling. Criminally underrated. Goddamn.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 4, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

      Now you’re speakin’ my language.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 4, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

        Oh thank god. Honestly I’ve just been hitting random keys on this thing and hoping the words on the screen are portraying coherent thoughts.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 4, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

      I prefer the LITERAL sleeping together to the headpats, but hey, personal tastes. Yours are valid.

    • Jenn
      Jenn
      March 4, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

      I never really understood the appeal of headpats, to be honest. Scritches behind the ear, though…

      Cuddles are fantastic. I really need cuddles. I don’t know if I need them because I’m lonely or if I’m lonely because I need them.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 4, 2021 at 1:55 am | #

        I didn’t either until I made out with a gal and then she pet my head and like. I fucking GOT it. I’m still thinking about it 2 years later.

    • jupiterror
      jupiterror
      March 4, 2021 at 1:55 am | #

      best take of the year

    • Sam
      Sam
      March 4, 2021 at 3:45 am | #

      Consider: back scratches. It might just be me but back scratches feel really good to me and make me very happy.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      March 4, 2021 at 4:57 am | #

      That sounds pretty great to me as well.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      March 4, 2021 at 10:00 am | #

      Ok so it’s been six years since I’ve shared deep physical romantic affection, and I’ve been going slightly mad but coping. And god damn your writing almost broke me Yo!

  25. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    March 4, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

    nothing could possibly go wrong

  26. Joyfulldreams
    Joyfulldreams
    March 4, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

    Aaaand I was right. Jennifer thinks that the only way to “move on” is to date or bone someone else, and she’ll dismiss and undermine any of Ruth’s attempts at actually being moved on to keep shoving “youre totally not over me” in her face.

    Which just…screams of insecurity? Insisting over and over again that there’s no way your ex is over YOU but you’re TOTALLY over THEM is just….uh….whelp, sounds like projecting, lol.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      March 4, 2021 at 3:06 am | #

      Yup. It’s worth remembering that Ruth is the only person Jennifer ever dated (before Asher, if she considers that dating). Like she said once, historically, when she went to a party, she was looking for someone to bone her; or went for messy makeouts under the seats with other cheerleaders; or whatever. It’s all just sex, nothing serious, she thinks — even with Alice, she didn’t realize that it was serious for her.

      All of which is actually really fascinating, because you can kind of compare her to Joe: avoiding relationships if possible and so on. And in both cases, they have promiscuous parental figures: there’s Richard, who Joe emulates even while avoiding what he sees as the problems with his behavior (i.e., Joe never pretends he’s going to be more than a man-slut, and is open about it because that way he’s not lying to anyone), and there’s Jennifer’s mother, who she dismisses as being busy “doing business on every man known to her,” which sounds more than a little disapproving, and yet, clearly, there are similarities… It’s that weird thing, where Jennifer’s aware, for instance, of how her father buys her love because that’s all he knows how to do, and how she seems to be unaware that she reproduces the behavior herself.

      Yeah. Jennifer really needs to spend some time with a mirror. Well, a metaphorical mirror: I imagine her actual one gets enough of a workout as it is.

      • StClair
        StClair
        March 4, 2021 at 4:03 pm | #

        oh, but she did. she went to therapy and she’s all better now, she’s moved on and doesn’t need it any more.
        :p

  27. Nayann Martinelli
    Nayann Martinelli
    March 4, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

    If someone offered to help me get laid, I’d be super cool with. Though, if they did it like Jennifer… Let’s say I’d share Ruth’s eagerness for ripping femurs. But truth be told, I wouldn’t be able to pull off Ruth’s terrifying presence, nor would I be be able to pull a femur off, but hey, what counts is intention, right?

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      March 4, 2021 at 7:50 am | #

      Start small, like with an ear collection! 🙃

      • Nayann Martinelli
        Nayann Martinelli
        March 4, 2021 at 11:38 pm | #

        That’s just plain disturbing!
        …
        Should I keep them in jars, or maybe fashion them in necklaces?

  28. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    March 4, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    The moment when the conversation went from “nasty acrimony” to “mistakes were made.”

  29. Nono
    Nono
    March 4, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

    BOOOOONE? I-AM-YOUR-SUPERIOR-OFFICER DETECTIVE-DIAZ.

    • JBento
      JBento
      March 4, 2021 at 4:26 pm | #

      Thosea re two best characters of B99.

    • Emily
      Emily
      March 4, 2021 at 9:17 pm | #

      I came here to say this XD

  30. Rani
    Rani
    March 4, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

    Ngl Jen is looking kinda antisocial rn.

    I don’t mean Amber antisocial.

    I mean Blaine antisocial.

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      March 4, 2021 at 12:50 am | #

      You mean sociopathic?

    • zee
      zee
      March 4, 2021 at 11:25 am | #

      A display of the difference between asocial (amber) and antisocial

  31. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    March 4, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

    I mean look, we know Daisy’d be into it.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      March 4, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

      Dangit, my link got taken out. Go check the February 18, 2013 strip.

      • Suet
        Suet
        March 4, 2021 at 12:36 am | #

        Eight… whole… years...

        • Devin
          Devin
          March 4, 2021 at 2:08 am | #

          And entirely coincidentally, only right after Willis discovered he could add alt text commentary. This was like the third strip that the alt text wasn’t just the title of that strip.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 4, 2021 at 2:10 am | #

      She’d only be into it if Ruth were secretly a superhero.

  32. Suet
    Suet
    March 4, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

    “My heart only pours out to you and you alone.”

    But alas, college matchmaking ain’t uncommon while Ruth’s new semester resolution will become a farce

    So… thumbs up 7 up?

  33. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    March 4, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

    I see a few ways this could go wrong.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 4, 2021 at 1:08 am | #

      I stopped counting at twenty-three.

  34. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    March 4, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    BooOOOOOONE?!?!?

    • Zor
      Zor
      March 4, 2021 at 12:51 am | #

      I understood that reference

      • PB
        PB
        March 4, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

        As did I.

  35. plasticwrap
    plasticwrap
    March 4, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    Brilliant.

  36. Sam
    Sam
    March 4, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

    Ruth: Is nice for two whole seconds. Then is sarcastic when Jennifer gets defensive.

    Jennifer: GOD. STOP TRYING TO GET BACK WITH ME. GO GET LAID. IN FACT, GET LAID FOR MY BENEFIT SPECIFICALLY.

    Jennifer, this isn’t things working out in your favour, you don’t get to defensively shut down someone’s trying to be nice and then expect them to willingly do a favour for you. I have literally seen someone do this before in real life too and it is like, you can’t admonish people then expect them to willingly do stuff for you.

    I’m not sure why Ruth looks so horrified in that last panel, but it makes me uncomfy that her reaction is that instead of anger.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 4, 2021 at 2:10 am | #

      She’s so horrified because Jennifer’s train of thought is so psychotically narcissistic that she can’t believe that is the same person who was her girlfriend and the thing that made her want to live for a while last semester.

    • Devin
      Devin
      March 4, 2021 at 2:10 am | #

      I mean in this circumstance I’d be wondering if that exchange was contextualizing the entire relationship with the ex in question as being nothing more than being used for sex, but that is entirely speculation on my part.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      March 4, 2021 at 2:55 am | #

      Why does she look so horrified? Well, y’know… Why did Sal look so horrified when Jennifer was trying to find out what happened to all the homeless people? Her utter inability to hear how she sounds to other people. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/nina/

      • Sam
        Sam
        March 4, 2021 at 3:58 am | #

        That is a fair point. My brain instantly jumped to ‘did something like what happened to Joyce, happen to Ruth and this is freaking her out?’ but it is possible that she is horrified that this is just a thing Jennifer has said with words at all as if she would go along with it. I just would have expected anger.

        • Seregiel
          Seregiel
          March 4, 2021 at 7:54 am | #

          She’s been working on her meds for a long while now, and we know she feels other emotions. My guess is we haven’t seen how Ruth behaves when she has more than “rage” and “despair”

          • Sam
            Sam
            March 4, 2021 at 11:33 am | #

            Fair, but this is a situation that seems perfectly reasonable to get mad about to me as well.

      • Miri
        Miri
        March 4, 2021 at 4:30 am | #

        Part of that was Sal being shocked at Billie’s naivety I think… I mean, it’s obvious that Billie assumes that “somewhere else” is “better than being homeless in our area” and could rise to the standards of “nice enough that you’d happily recommend it to a friend”…

    • zee
      zee
      March 4, 2021 at 11:40 am | #

      I mean i dunno about you but I’d be pretty horrified If my ex thought it was totally reasonable to try pimp me out to their boss

      • Sam
        Sam
        March 4, 2021 at 3:50 pm | #

        I would be too but I know my overarching feeling would be anger. Someone did the ‘admonish someone then expect a favour 0.2 seconds afterwards’ to a friend of mine and I was LIVID. It was not as awful an ask, but, the gall of it was unbelievable on its own. My anger would be more noticeable than my horror.

        • Bathymetheus
          Bathymetheus
          March 4, 2021 at 5:01 pm | #

          This works on people with low self-esteem. The person is saying “you’ve made me angry, but you can get back in my good graces by doing this thing for me.” It is abuser behaviour, but it works often enough that it is quite common. It exploits people’s social anxiety.

  37. 0kami
    0kami
    March 4, 2021 at 12:33 am | #

    Jennifer… don’t pimp your ex.

    • milu
      milu
      March 4, 2021 at 4:07 am | #

      Unless, you know, your boss is a total creep who’ll definitely reward you for it, and your ex is making you nervous with how unguarded she is with her grief over your relationship and you wanna gross her way out, so whichever way this plays out you win.

      …oh wait, you meant because it’s unethical.

  38. Switchchris23
    Switchchris23
    March 4, 2021 at 12:33 am | #

    That look on Ruth’s face in the last panel…. it looks like total pain mixed with “I ant believe thats what you think of me”. thats not “Im gonna break your bones” anger, thats true pain…. Jennifer just punched her in the kidneys with wolverine’s claws.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 4, 2021 at 12:57 am | #

      Yeah, that’s some gen-yoo-wine hurt in that face.

    • Jenn
      Jenn
      March 4, 2021 at 1:09 am | #

      Yeah, that’s how I interpreted it, too. Not anger, but pain. (Well, maybe a little anger, but mostly pain.)

  39. Ava-Ann
    Ava-Ann
    March 4, 2021 at 12:43 am | #

    Ruth looks like she’s about to explode towards the end.

    From yesterday it sounded like Ruth dumped Jennifer and Jen Jen took heavy offense to it and decided Ruth was a phase to help her ego but idk

    • Devin
      Devin
      March 4, 2021 at 2:11 am | #

      And now I’m thinking Jennifer is communicating that to Ruth.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 4, 2021 at 3:15 am | #

      I don’t think that Ruth isn’t about to explode. Mostly because the whole conversation has turned to surreal to be able to get angry about it.

  40. Dr. T
    Dr. T
    March 4, 2021 at 12:48 am | #

    I see someone has fallen back into old habits. Alpha bongo mode is not needed here, Jennifer.

  41. PB
    PB
    March 4, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

    …. I don’t know what’s worse. That Jennifer suggested this or that my second thought was “wait maybe she’s onto something”.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      March 4, 2021 at 1:09 am | #

      Maybe she’s on something.

      …. no, this is her baseline level of dumbing.

      …. wait, her baseline dumbing level is drunk. Maybe she’s on booze.

  42. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    March 4, 2021 at 12:56 am | #

    I mean, hmm. This is probably a bad decision, but wilder stuff as somehow worked before.

  43. Zor
    Zor
    March 4, 2021 at 12:58 am | #

    Welcome to Dumbing of Age, where it’s honestly laughable that people still expect any given character to behave like a well-adjusted individual

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      March 4, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

      Hey now, I’m pretty sure Fuckface is well-adjusted given his circumstances

      • Nevermaker
        Nevermaker
        March 4, 2021 at 1:38 am | #

        And Blowjob Cat seems to have his life together.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          March 4, 2021 at 2:05 pm | #

          Eh, tha (blowjob) cat’s prob’ly fine

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        March 4, 2021 at 2:51 am | #

        For an Iguana he is exceptionally well adjusted and chill

    • milu
      milu
      March 4, 2021 at 4:10 am | #

      The title of the comic might have been a tell now that I think really hard about it

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      March 4, 2021 at 5:03 am | #

      It ain’t called Smarting of Age.

      • deathjavu
        deathjavu
        March 4, 2021 at 7:50 am | #

        The joke that keeps on giving, because it’s relevant every 2 strips or so.

  44. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    March 4, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

    Y’know I’ve been trying to be on Jen’s side with all of her supposed therapy and reinventing herself stuff, but this is the first time I’ve come to think Jennifer is worse than Billie was. Billie had her issues but I don’t think she ever thought of pimping out people for personal gain. I don’t know if I’m taking this too seriously or misinterpreting Jennifer’s motivation on this but like many have said already this is pretty gross.

    • Jenn
      Jenn
      March 4, 2021 at 1:10 am | #

      Nah, I could totally see last semester Jennifer doing this.

    • Bladeglory
      Bladeglory
      March 4, 2021 at 2:01 am | #

      “If I hook you and Dorothy up maybe you’ll bother me less”

      • Bladeglory
        Bladeglory
        March 4, 2021 at 2:03 am | #

        sounds real weird coming out of Danny’s mouth

      • Newllend(henryvolt)
        Newllend(henryvolt)
        March 4, 2021 at 2:15 am | #

        Did she actually ever say that? Oh well, I feel like Billie trying to set up Walky and Dorothy was her just being nice since I don’t think there was anything she actually was going to gain from that.

        • Clif
          Clif
          March 4, 2021 at 2:52 am | #

          The theory was that it would keep Walky away from her.

        • Bladeglory
          Bladeglory
          March 4, 2021 at 2:57 am | #

          Yeah, directly to his face. And more apparently.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/facetime/

          • milu
            milu
            March 4, 2021 at 4:42 am | #

            I wonder if the last panel in that strip was actual foreshadowing or if it just totally reads that way in retrospect xD

            • Thag Simmons
              Thag Simmons
              March 4, 2021 at 2:06 pm | #

              it absolutely was

          • Keulen
            Keulen
            March 4, 2021 at 5:02 am | #

            Yeah, so despite now wanting to be called Jennifer, her behavior really hasn’t improved much.

            • StClair
              StClair
              March 4, 2021 at 4:05 pm | #

              or at all.

          • Sirksome
            Sirksome
            March 4, 2021 at 8:41 am | #

            This recent one still feels way creepier in context. Trying to hook your friend up with a girl they cbviously have a crush on at least has more of an illusion of trying to help. Jennifer here is proposing pimping out her ex to her boss, who have never met each other, so she can gain a better work assignment.

  45. Nevermaker
    Nevermaker
    March 4, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

    Man, I am SERIOUSLY hoping that’s a one-off joke that gets dropped in the next strip, because…GROSS, Jennifer.

  46. june gloom
    june gloom
    March 4, 2021 at 1:27 am | #

    Yesterday I said Ruth deserves better.

    I’m not sure Daisy qualifies, but Jennifer is doing a fantastic job of proving my point regardless.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 4, 2021 at 1:52 am | #

      Well, Daisy is in a position of at least mild authority, which gives her much healthier shared experience with Ruth than Bilcifer ever had. Daisy also doesn’t seem like she’d go out of her way to hide the fact that she’s extremely gay for her partner.

      • milu
        milu
        March 4, 2021 at 4:15 am | #

        You both make eloquent-ass points

  47. BenRG
    BenRG
    March 4, 2021 at 2:07 am | #

    In which Ruth remembers why she didn’t like Billie in the first place and why she should consider herself better off that the whole thing blew up and sank far out to sea.

    • Clif
      Clif
      March 4, 2021 at 2:54 am | #

      Can rage fueled makeouts be far behind?

  48. Michael L
    Michael L
    March 4, 2021 at 2:08 am | #

    I find it very strange that so many commenters are taking Jennifer’s comments as a deathly serious suggestion, and not a joke. She even says ha!

    • Devin
      Devin
      March 4, 2021 at 2:13 am | #

      Even if one were to take it as entirely in jest (which I don’t think is accurate, not everything that’s laughed at isn’t said in earnest), it’s in incredibly poor taste.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        March 4, 2021 at 2:16 am | #

        Yeah, even if it’s a joke, it just ain’t that funny to the recipient.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 4, 2021 at 2:14 am | #

      Every night, someone finds something strange about the general early reaction to the most recent strip. Different reads are fine, and we’re all from different upbringings, some of which resonate more than others do with the events in these stories. If you follow me.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      March 4, 2021 at 3:14 am | #

      That wasn’t ‘Ha! This s funny’, it was ‘Ha! I’m brilliant! This is the perfect solution!’

      • milu
        milu
        March 4, 2021 at 4:34 am | #

        I don’t think she meant it as a joke, but nor is she expecting Ruth to take her suggestion at face value. The convo just got uncomfortably heartfelt and Jennifer is killing that shit in the egg. The hope is Ruth gets mad and they go back to being nice and hostile to each other.
        …is my take anyway

      • StClair
        StClair
        March 4, 2021 at 4:06 pm | #

        Exactly.

        • StClair
          StClair
          March 4, 2021 at 4:06 pm | #

          like, “Why didn’t I see it before?”

  49. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    March 4, 2021 at 2:26 am | #

    Apart or not these two are my favorite, their dialogues never fail to make me smile

  50. Lulu
    Lulu
    March 4, 2021 at 3:01 am | #

    Damn Willis pls don’t let Miss Newspaper Editor hopes go up like that, she can’t handle Ruth.

    • AGV
      AGV
      March 4, 2021 at 7:16 am | #

      “You can’t handle the Ruth!”

    • Miri
      Miri
      March 4, 2021 at 7:17 am | #

      You want the Ruth? You can’t handle the Ruth!

  51. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    March 4, 2021 at 3:23 am | #

    Punch ‘er, Ruth! Get ‘er in the kidneys! Poke ‘er with a fork! Crisp-fry ‘er in homemade cornmeal breading! Dip ‘er in chipotle barbecue sauce! Serve ‘er with some mashed potatoes and coleslaw! Put ‘er on a plate right next to a cold glass of- Wait, this is getting into weird territory.

    What beverage do you usually serve with barbecue? Lemonade? Beer? I lost my train of thought.

    • AGV
      AGV
      March 4, 2021 at 7:19 am | #

      You lost me when you jumped from the drink to the organs and then to cooking

  52. JediMB
    JediMB
    March 4, 2021 at 3:30 am | #

    And… I believe that’s my fount of sympathy for Jennifer all dried up.

  53. Varangian
    Varangian
    March 4, 2021 at 3:43 am | #

    Jennifer, it’s cool that you’re into the hotwife scene all of a sudden, but you probably should’ve brought this up when you and Ruth were still together and asked if she was into it, rather than assuming now in the wake of insane bad emotions

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 4, 2021 at 4:17 am | #

      “Hotwife scene”?

      • Varangian
        Varangian
        March 4, 2021 at 5:54 am | #

        Oh no

        Uh, so, there’s this kink and

        No, you know what, I’m not gonna

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          March 4, 2021 at 6:37 pm | #

          Urban Dictionary has a straightforward answer.

          Hey if everyone involved can legally give consent and they’re all cool with it who am I to judge?

  54. Eldritchy
    Eldritchy
    March 4, 2021 at 3:48 am | #

    BONE!?

    • Architex
      Architex
      March 4, 2021 at 6:25 pm | #

      BOOONE??!?

  55. foducool
    foducool
    March 4, 2021 at 4:15 am | #

    not sure if trying to prostitute Ruth is a smart choice…

  56. milu
    milu
    March 4, 2021 at 4:21 am | #

    Aaah so that’s what taking the high road looks like

  57. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    March 4, 2021 at 4:50 am | #

    Getting told what your feelings are by your ex, and then having your ex try to set you up with their boss for personal gain? Oof. What a class act.

  58. Keulen
    Keulen
    March 4, 2021 at 4:59 am | #

    Daisy definitely needs to get laid, but this seems like entirely the wrong way to accomplish that. Unless Ruth is ok with it, and judging by the last two panels she doesn’t seem to approve.

    • AGV
      AGV
      March 4, 2021 at 7:22 am | #

      It would be funny if they hooked up after Jenny gives up on the nespaper

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 6:34 pm | #

        And only after that do they figure out the connection.

  59. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    March 4, 2021 at 5:03 am | #

    One interesting difference between Jennifer and Billie: Jennifer’s ideas are better (less worse, at least).

  60. Eclipsa
    Eclipsa
    March 4, 2021 at 5:21 am | #

    Alt-text got that song stuck in my head now.

  61. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 4, 2021 at 5:32 am | #

    ah, i read that as “fucking loVely” and oh boy getting the real word just after bummed me.

  62. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    March 4, 2021 at 6:48 am | #

    Jennifer want to put a stop at the whole story putting Ruth together with a (crazy/annoying)girl she meet probably every day? Yep! This is absolutely not a bad idea. Jennifer just need to convince Ruth…. I don’t think (actually I really hope) that will happen.

  63. deathjavu
    deathjavu
    March 4, 2021 at 7:43 am | #

    Jennifer shoving her foot so far down her throat she’s choking on her femur…which really annoys Ruth because she wanted to do that.

    • Eldritchy
      Eldritchy
      March 4, 2021 at 11:56 am | #

      Choke on Jennifer’s femur?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 6:33 pm | #

        Ruth walks back into Leslie’s class holding the femur like it’s one of those giant cartoon lollipops, gnawing on the epiphysis. She growls at anyone who tries to take away her treat.

  64. Seregiel
    Seregiel
    March 4, 2021 at 8:02 am | #

    Just turn back around, re-enter the class saying “it’s better for me to be in here” and you can put off whatever the heck just happened for another hour plus, Ruth.

    • zee
      zee
      March 4, 2021 at 11:47 am | #

      I actually really hope that’s the punchline tomorrow

  65. Yumi
    Yumi
    March 4, 2021 at 8:06 am | #

    I approve of this plan.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      March 4, 2021 at 8:39 am | #

      Grav checks out

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      March 4, 2021 at 1:22 pm | #

      I’m up for anything that develops Daisy into more than a running gag.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 4, 2021 at 6:28 pm | #

        +1 (The pretend upvote)

        Agreed. At least she had something to do in the old universe…

  66. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    March 4, 2021 at 8:10 am | #

    *raises hand*

    Can we get back to Joe and Joyce?

    • Nevermaker
      Nevermaker
      March 4, 2021 at 9:28 pm | #

      And BOY is that a sentence I never thought I’d agree with.

  67. RedCat
    RedCat
    March 4, 2021 at 8:31 am | #

    Some people don’t wanna get laid, Jennifer.

  68. Fnord
    Fnord
    March 4, 2021 at 9:26 am | #

    Is “bone” really the right verb here?

    • milu
      milu
      March 4, 2021 at 11:53 am | #

      Pelvic bone?

    • Eldritchy
      Eldritchy
      March 4, 2021 at 11:55 am | #

      Well they’ll be hitting their femurs together. That ought to make Ruth all excited.

  69. fawndolyn
    fawndolyn
    March 4, 2021 at 9:28 am | #

    Punch her in the face, Ruth!

    • Eldritchy
      Eldritchy
      March 4, 2021 at 2:12 pm | #

      She does have a very punchable face. She has that… Umbridge-like fake sweetness to her.

  70. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    March 4, 2021 at 9:34 am | #

    Jennifer: This plan cannot fail!!

    Narrator: This was, in fact, true, since the plan had already failed. It came pre-failed, right out of her mouth, so there was no way it could fail again.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      March 4, 2021 at 6:27 pm | #

      Ron Howard: “It did.”

  71. thejeff
    thejeff
    March 4, 2021 at 10:50 am | #

    According to what I’ve been told recently, the worst thing about Jennifer here is that she outed Daisy to Ruth. (Well, “my newspaper editor”, but it’s easy enough to figure out who that is.)

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      March 4, 2021 at 1:06 pm | #

      To be fair, Daisy asked Jennifer to give her Ruth’s phone number back in a 2013 strip.

  72. Joya
    Joya
    March 4, 2021 at 11:11 am | #

    Glad to see Jennifer didn’t change at all…

  73. Falcon
    Falcon
    March 4, 2021 at 11:46 am | #

    Any more projecting and Billie will become a living home theater system.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      March 4, 2021 at 6:26 pm | #

      All her internal conflict, but in IMAX 3D.

  74. Brighter Side
    Brighter Side
    March 4, 2021 at 11:54 am | #

    Welp, I hope someone’s there to clean up the blood, because I think there’s about to be a murder. Wouldn’t be our first, though it might be the saddest so far (sorry Mike).

    • Fist_of_Life
      Fist_of_Life
      March 4, 2021 at 9:56 pm | #

      surprisingly appropriate grav.

  75. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    March 4, 2021 at 1:06 pm | #

    You should have kept that thought to yourself, Jennifer.

  76. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    March 4, 2021 at 1:36 pm | #

    Eh, could work. Ruth and Daisy going on a date. They might be good for each other, and if it doesn’t work out, it was just a date

    I know that’s not what Billie means but dammit it’s better than what she ACTUALLY means

  77. Frost Magi
    Frost Magi
    March 4, 2021 at 2:16 pm | #

    Title of this book:
    YOU NEED TO BONE MY NEWSPAPER EDITOR! HA!

    I can see it

  78. James
    James
    March 4, 2021 at 2:34 pm | #

    Man, I think that might’ve really hurt Ruth. Not only did her attempt at some genuine friendliness backfire, but now Jennifer’s a) boiling the connection down to sex and b) trying to offload that connection onto an acquaintance for personal gain.

    • Brighter Side
      Brighter Side
      March 4, 2021 at 3:53 pm | #

      Well, for better and worse, Ruth is definitely well-acquainted with being hurt by others and herself. I’m rooting for her, though. At her heart, she’s not a villain, just a terrifying person.

  79. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    March 4, 2021 at 2:36 pm | #

    Huh, I guess Jen’s finally getting around to giving Daisy her RA’s phone number after 8 years

  80. eskimolos
    eskimolos
    March 4, 2021 at 2:58 pm | #

    as much as I love these two, I feel like a conversation between Ruth and her brother indicated she wasn’t typically into women?

    Like, I never personally want Ruth in a het relationship, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if she were demisexual – doubt Daisy is going to have the spite and aloof/cocky that enticed her to Jennifer in the first instance.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      March 4, 2021 at 3:02 pm | #

      Eh, I don’t think bi erasure really helps the comic. There’s enough lesbians in the comic we can ship every compatible orientation around!

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      March 4, 2021 at 3:03 pm | #

      Dating people of the same and other genders is, generally speaking, how bisexuality works.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      March 4, 2021 at 5:45 pm | #

      More like she hadn’t realized she was into women before. What plumbing catches my eye doesn’t feel important.

      Of course, being into women doesn’t mean she’s into every woman she comes across. Daisy may still not interest her.

  81. goggleman64
    goggleman64
    March 4, 2021 at 3:08 pm | #

    All of my empathy for these characters has temporarily gone out the window because I am too in love with this trainwreck scheme.

    High five Jennifer; let’s do this thing 😀

  82. JBento
    JBento
    March 4, 2021 at 4:28 pm | #

    How does this manage to be both a terrible idea AND one of the best the entire cast has come up with all semester? It’s pretty much seccond in quality only to Dorothy’s “Joyce should get glasses”.

  83. Smooti
    Smooti
    March 4, 2021 at 4:40 pm | #

    Y’know, for someone who was just complaining that Ruth is getting in her business… Jennifer sure is getting in Ruth’s business for Ruth asking… two questions of her?

    Like, I’m all for Jennifer reinventing herself. Sometimes it’s healthy to let a bunch of stuff go, cut your hair, and get out of a bunch of messes and restart. Hell, even if it meant not interacting with the main cast ever again. If she’s healthier away from them, so be it.

    …But it looks like not much internally has actually changed. And if she keeps insisting that things definitely have and that she’s so much better now, well, it’s not gonna help her actually improve much.

    • Throwatron
      Throwatron
      March 4, 2021 at 4:41 pm | #

      Oh, something has changed; she’s had a massive regression in personal growth.

  84. wilddeath
    wilddeath
    March 4, 2021 at 7:39 pm | #

    Nothing has made me want to slap the shit out of someone as much as what Billie has said in todays comic.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
RIP Peter David, known for writing the Transformers Dark of the Moon novelization
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
the full experience of being Gen X, condensed
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
aww she takes after her dad
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3h
hrm, being radicalized on Twitter has the opposite connotation now
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
Dina!
Dina's in a blue hoodie!  over a long white t-shirt and some bluejeans

and the dino hat, but expect that as a default
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
and every single time she was disappointed
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
*weighs self* *poops* *weighs self again* HOW DO I WEIGH MORE
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
man what the fuck is going on at taco fest
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Peter Kelly @thepeterkelly.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dear Mr. Clegg I have started a business, selling the contents of your house I knew when I launched I did not have legal access your house Without this access my company will not be profitable Others have told me I have a flawed business model, but I disagree Please advise how I should proceed
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Graham Thomson @thomsongraham.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
Here are some neat “Deluxe Class” Transformers from the Beast Wars/Machines era.
Transformers Beast Wars Tarantulas, Transmetal Cheetor, Fuzor Silverbolt, and Beast Machines Jetstorm toys in their robot modes.
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Ketan Joshi @ketanjoshi.co ⋅ 1d
I am begging for a Hollywood movie or TV writer to make something that features realistic 'artificial intelligence'
A four panel meme, featuring John Connor talking to The Terminator, from Terminator 2 

John: Wait a second, you’re saying you’re from the future?

Terminator: Great question! Thanks so much for asking. Let’s think about the answer…hmm! The current year is 1983. Working backwards logically, I’m from the year 1965, which is 300 years in the future. Anything else you’d like to know?

John - stares blankly

Terminator: I’m sorry, I can see that was not the right answer. I actually came from the year 829392 AD, which is 10 years in the past from this year, which is 3
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned amos is turned on by edda just waving her body limply around like she's an inflatable tube man you'd see in front of a car dealership
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
...look, if you want to kill a goldfish, just... overfeed it, you don't have to EAT IT. you messy bench
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
Dumbing of Age: "Salacious sex goss" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Salacious sex goss
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
jocelyne and carla are tied at 47 votes for bonus strip
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I wonder if they sell these outside Columbus.
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Charles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
In an adaptation of the NYT diagram in the quoted skeet, a diagram showing Jeffrey Dahmer
krogerfoot.bsky.social's user avatarok city ok @krogerfoot.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Hard-hitting analysis from NYT. As you can see from the diagram, legal impediments are a weak gray box that can be defeated by a strong orange arrow and bold typeface Gift article (but it’s bad) www.nytimes.com/interactive/...
NYT: “In Firing Watchdogs, Trump Sidesteps Laws and Moves to Expand Power, By Elena Shao May 22, 2025
President Trump summarily dismissed more than a dozen members of independent oversight bodies during his first two months in office, defying typical procedures and federal laws that say presidents cannot remove certain officials without good cause, like misconduct or neglect.”A diagram shows Trump’s head on the left and symbols denoting nine federal agencies on the right, connected by a faint gray arrow going through a text box reading “Should issue notice citing cause for firing.”
An orange arrow makes 90-degree turns to go up, over, and down the other side of the gray box, captioned “Sidestepping typical procedures,” as if the whole thing was a diagram of a football play.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
SS86 Scrapper may not have a waist rotational joint, but he does have a sassy hip sway.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
i've had this siege astrotrain sitting around for weeks to be ebayed but as soon as i give up and sell it, i just know i'll find that missing rifle it's somewhere in the house it's just gotta be
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Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Postcards are on sale for the next week 🌊 $8 for 10 ☀️ $30 for 40 🫡 have a great Memorial Day weekend shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/category/pos...
Photo of a postcard of the paperback paradise cover BEACH HUMPER, which features a man gasping for air on the beach but it looks like he crushing that sand
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
i'm PRETTY sure the days of pb&js is right now, actually, if you wanted, especially if you're in a goddamn grocery store
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Aidan Moher @aidanis.fun ⋅ 1d
There’s been a murder.
joolia.bsky.social's user avatarJulia Carrie Wong @joolia.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
welp I sent an email
Hi Tripp,
I'm a reporter with the Guardian US, based in New York. I hope this finds you well.
I'm reaching out about your most recent article and its inclusion of the claim,
Incidentally, how are you defining
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Chris Schilling @schillingc.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Headline - Nick Clegg: Artists’ demands over copyright are unworkable 
Strap - The former Meta executive claims that a law requiring tech companies to ask permission to train AI on copyrighted work would ‘kill’ the industry
“Then die”
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Pie @technicolorpie.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
there has to be a better way to phrase a going out of business sale
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Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
My friend Amena is struggling to take care of her children in Gaza. Please consider contributing to her Chuffed fund so she can feed her family and keep them safe chuffed.org/project/1230...
Help Amena's family start over and get medical attention
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By Amena Baba

I am Amena, a mother of four children. We survived a merciless war, but we lost everything.
My home was completely destroyed, and I lost loved ones that nothing can replace. My daughter suffers from health problems that require continuous treatment. Life in Gaza has become almost impossible, and with the scarcity of resources and the rise in prices, it has become difficult to secure the basic needs of my children.
I decided to start over, but I need your help.
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Black Series Mon Mothma is definitely not sculpted for frenzied dancing.
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addams family stan account 🫃 (librarian) @northerniion.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
this is 10x more impressive than a strike
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
www.ebay.com/itm/23611085... this auction ends in 5 hours and it's going for... 99 cents! a real bargain
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Me: it's Saturday! Kids soccer season is over! I can sleep in as long as I want! *wakes up before the alarm is usually set to go off*
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