Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Hemlock
Josceline Fenton
A witch accidentally marries a monster, and now she and her familiar has to navigate life around her monstrous husband and her even more terrifying in-laws.
No End
Erli, Kromi
A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
All Known Alternatives
Karolina 'Kajotko' Jankiewicz
Akane has only one way to get back home: collect the 42 keys to parallel worlds. Eri and Ben are just trying to get through the summer before university. When a magical key turns up in an old spare set, all three are forced to change their plans and fast.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
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Yes, actually. For some reason I’ve always felt she’d have a vaguely Eastern European accent, and I can’t put my finger on why that idea popped into my head
Okay I just looked it up, and I think that’s the best suggestion so far. Maybe we can get Helen Slater to voice Connie, and David Warner can voice Galasso.
I wonder if she just didn’t want to tell Daisy it’s Ruth, but then she wouldn’t mention the scowling, so hmm. Ruth’s kind of notorious, so it’s surprising if Daisy doesn’t know her.
“Big campus” is kind of underselling it, IU Bloomington has a student+faculty population approaching 60,000 people. That’s not even counting people living in Bloominton who aren’t directly affiliated as either students or faculty.
It’s not even in the top ten as far as campus sizes go in the US.
(#10 would currently be University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, with 62,680 students+faculty; the #1 place currently goes to the University of Central Florida, with 84,267 students+faculty.)
Really? When I was there I think it was 28,000 UG, 7,000 grad students, no idea about faculty. 60,000 was the putative population of the town, I never knew if that included the students or not.
Yeah, I could understand not having a photo because you deleted them or whatever, but at least tell Daisy what she looks like. “Rehead, glasses, tall but sorter than you, scowly” isn’t that long and cuts down on the chance for hijink – ah, I see the problem.
She’s not mistaking Conquest for Ruth, since most sensible people would recognise Conquest’s words to be from the waitstaff. She’s just going lady hot, brain ooga booga.
The ‘said you’d be kinda scowly’ is likely a reference to Galasso. The shouting host of a pizza (and subs) place is probably a memorable point to include in casual conversation.
No, the panel established Daisy doesn’t know what her blind date looks like for a reason. She’s looking for Ruth. Missing the obvious social cues that indicate Conquest works there are what Daisy is embarrassed about
Which ties in to her running out…. How?
No, she totally thought that was Ruth but then got deeply embarrassed because in retrospect she realizes it SHOULD’ve been obvious she was a waitress.
It’s ok Daisy, just pretend you have no idea what is going on at any given moment. That’s how I bumble through life and just look at me: fat, sad and probably going to die alone.
Galasso also provides a handy cover to anyone who’d think their business might be sketchy. Obviously the owner has delusions of supervillainy, yeah, but he’s too histrionic to ACTUALLY be up to anything, he’d admit it instantly.
And Pamela smiles from the back room, where she’s working on the schematics for a Dimensionator to bring an alternate-dimensional army. If she can just get the proper cheese formula, then soon. Soon, MULTIVERSAL PIZZA (and subs) DOMINATION WILL BE THEIRS!
Think of it this way: Going back in immediately is less embarrassing than “not coming back” or showing up in 5 minutes. Your date is waiting! That said, I’m not really sure what Daisy is supposed to do (other than maybe contact Jennifer), since Ruth is inside and Daisy doesn’t know what she looks like. Does Ruth know what Daisy looks like? Setting up blind dates like this only really works if you have a go-between who knows both sides.
Here’s some genuine advice for if you find yourself in this kind of situation: If possible, just laugh at your mistake to defuse the awkwardness. Say something like “Oh, I thought you were my blind date! Sorry!” In general, explaining the situation makes you seem like less of a weirdo and more of a person making an honest mistake.
i think it’s more commonly recommended when addressing an audience actually. i guess if everyone is naked it stops being erotic and just becomes silly? idk i don’t talk to audiences.
Oh, obviously. Pamela’s not actually any less of a supervillain than her husband, she’s just SMARTER about it. Subtle. The financial mastermind behind the Galasso Empire, which Conquest will someday inherit!
I don’t know how much she’s being paid, but I DO know she’s not being paid enough. I DO expect Galasso’s to pay its employees a decent wage, but there’s no money in the WORLD enough to compensate having to be nice to, say, Mary.
“I am paid to be nice!” Gotta love how up-front Conquest is about that. She’s not letting you see behind the veil, she’s tearing the veil down and burning it. Although given how easy it is to mistake friendliness for flirting, she probably has to be up-front to stave off even half the propositions she gets.
Additionally, I seem to recall that Connie is a couple of years younger than the main cast making her very underage. So, yeah, awkward.
The romcom set-up is pretty obvious here. I wonder what lonely/unhappy lady Ruth will meet in there whilst Daisy is off bitterly regretting her wholly-imaginary faults?
Wait, how old is Daisy. I don’t expect her to be older than, like, 18-19, that doesn’t seem like a moral problem. I mean, know which of these two seems to have it more together.
Glad to see Connie in this universe has retained the ability to be merciless when she feels like being merciless. Feels very Gen z this time and I am here for it
I’ve got a mental image of Daisy down on one knee in front of her calling her ‘my Sun Queen’ and Gallasso grumbling about “finally, someone addresses Gallasso’s daughter by her proper title!”
Galasso pays a grip to keep a spotlight on her for her entire shift. It gets awkward when she’s at school because they have to follow her around with the light on a jib.
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WELL THAT WENT WELL
…same time in 5 minutes?
(that sounded better in my head maybe)
Why hello Teruhashi-san! *gasp*
That comment made me laugh harder than any comic strip so far
It was a very good comment.
Connie!!
Great start, Daisy. Over/Under on how long this date will last? I take 5 strips.
The date never starts. Instead Daisy is sidetracked into convincing Glasso that sha and Conquest are the perfect couple to produce him an heir.
I would like to place a bet on either 0 strips or a successful date that leads into Ruth/Daisy being the status quo for a while
Anyone else imagine Conquest speaking with an accent? Problem is, I can’t figure out what accent it is I’m “hearing”.
It just seems like the daughter of an evil overlord has an accent. Galasso himself doesn’t need one, he’s just voiced by Clancy Brown.
Yes, actually. For some reason I’ve always felt she’d have a vaguely Eastern European accent, and I can’t put my finger on why that idea popped into my head
You’re both thinking of Talia al Ghul from Batman: The Animated Series.
Who was basically the genesis for Connie so I’d imagine they sound extremely similar.
Okay I just looked it up, and I think that’s the best suggestion so far. Maybe we can get Helen Slater to voice Connie, and David Warner can voice Galasso.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXvOaUiLvL4
It’s likely a combination of blonde hair + blue eyes and the fact that she uses terms like ‘Father’ and a bit stilted in her grammar.
I could see her with some kind of Scandinavian accent.
Swedish, maybe?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z92-eVfIuGI
I always thought she’d sound vaguely English for some reason. Sort of like the accent Alex Moffat is faking in this SNL skit:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hNoZHUDB3GU
But for that to be plausible we’d have to get someone like Judi Dench to voice Pamela and I don’t know if she’s in our budget.
Oh, lawd, do I abhor Swedish accents for English. It’s irrational, but I can’t shake it.
I always imagine her sounding robotic!
(Flat with no emotions/emphases)
Straight Valley Girl accent, for maximum cognitive dissonance
Everyone speaks with an accent of some sort, as I understand it
A north eastern-Maine-ish almost faux-British accent is how I’ve always imagined Conquest.
DAISY NO
DAISY YES
DAISY MAYBE
DAISY I DON’T KNOW CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do
Jennifer, come on, give her a photo or at least a description of what Ruth looks like!
Or one would think you’re subconsciously sabotaging the date or something.
“What does she look like?”
“Scowly.”
Daisy sits down at Sarah’s table.
I wonder if she just didn’t want to tell Daisy it’s Ruth, but then she wouldn’t mention the scowling, so hmm. Ruth’s kind of notorious, so it’s surprising if Daisy doesn’t know her.
Notorious in her own building, but it’s a big campus
“Big campus” is kind of underselling it, IU Bloomington has a student+faculty population approaching 60,000 people. That’s not even counting people living in Bloominton who aren’t directly affiliated as either students or faculty.
Dang, that is so much more than the population of my university. I didn’t even know colleges could be that big.
It’s not even in the top ten as far as campus sizes go in the US.
(#10 would currently be University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, with 62,680 students+faculty; the #1 place currently goes to the University of Central Florida, with 84,267 students+faculty.)
Really? When I was there I think it was 28,000 UG, 7,000 grad students, no idea about faculty. 60,000 was the putative population of the town, I never knew if that included the students or not.
Huh, wiki says 50,000 students, 90,000 population.
Yikes. My whole town doesn’t have 60,000 people.
The question is, does Billie even have a picture of Ruth at this point?
Although she could have easily said: “She’s a redhead with a possible scowl.” and have prevented this.
Yeah, I could understand not having a photo because you deleted them or whatever, but at least tell Daisy what she looks like. “Rehead, glasses, tall but sorter than you, scowly” isn’t that long and cuts down on the chance for hijink – ah, I see the problem.
She’s not mistaking Conquest for Ruth, since most sensible people would recognise Conquest’s words to be from the waitstaff. She’s just going lady hot, brain ooga booga.
The ‘said you’d be kinda scowly’ is likely a reference to Galasso. The shouting host of a pizza (and subs) place is probably a memorable point to include in casual conversation.
No, the panel established Daisy doesn’t know what her blind date looks like for a reason. She’s looking for Ruth. Missing the obvious social cues that indicate Conquest works there are what Daisy is embarrassed about
Which ties in to her running out…. How?
No, she totally thought that was Ruth but then got deeply embarrassed because in retrospect she realizes it SHOULD’ve been obvious she was a waitress.
Well, I guess it really is a blind date.
Kinda surprised she didn’t give Daisy at least a decent description of what Ruth looks like.
At least she’s planning to go back?
Everyone should be able to give themselves one mulligan in social situations
Although, given what we’ve seen from Daisy thus far she may need at least three of those
It’s ok Daisy, just pretend you have no idea what is going on at any given moment. That’s how I bumble through life and just look at me: fat, sad and probably going to die alone.
Don’t you want that to be you? :V
Oof, this is too relatable.
Same.
I mean, apart from the pretending part.
Or you could die surrounded by smirking enemies.
Oh hey Conquest! It’s been a while!
Yeah, it’s been like 6.5 years since we got a Conquest appearance.
Okay, so is “Hi, I’m Daisy” a Nintendo reference?
Nintendo doesn’t own generic name-based greetings.
Yeah, but I’m so used to hearing Princess Daisy say that, that to me it will always sound like a reference to her.
Pretty sure it’s more of a reference to this: https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/hi-i039m-daisy
So yes, but at one remove.
That was the first thing I thought of when I read Daisy’s line in this strip.
Dang, Billie, you couldn’t have given Daisy a hair color to go off of? “Red hair” is a lot easier to pick out than “Scowl-y”
Also, no one tell Daisy that Conquest is only 16 – Daisy might actually die of embarrassment
I think at that point she finds a hole to crawl into and a rock to cover it with.
Daisy you incel, the waitstaff is never hitting on you, go back there and look for your date. Kids these days.
I think Daisy didn’t realize that good ole’ Connie is part of the restaurant staff
Maybe she doesn’t go out to eat very often, then.
Didn’t you read yesterday’s strip? Of course she doesn’t ea-
*is dragged away*
Fuck, that was free pun real estate and I totally missed it.
I didn’t even know Conquest existed.
She sure is more charming than her “Invincible” namesake.
She finally said “Hi. I’m Daisy”.
Meme achieved.
[Like]
It’s nice to know Galasso pays her! You never know with him
THE HEIR TO MY EMPIRE REQUIRES NO PAYMENT SAVE THE LAMENTATIONS OF OUR ENEMIES wait, I am informed of something called “The Department of Labor”
I’m pretty sure it’s Pamela who actually handles payroll.
Pamela handles everything that requires actual management I suspect
Headcanon says she actually runs the business, and lets Galasso lord over the kitchen and wait staff as head chef / mascot.
Galasso also provides a handy cover to anyone who’d think their business might be sketchy. Obviously the owner has delusions of supervillainy, yeah, but he’s too histrionic to ACTUALLY be up to anything, he’d admit it instantly.
And Pamela smiles from the back room, where she’s working on the schematics for a Dimensionator to bring an alternate-dimensional army. If she can just get the proper cheese formula, then soon. Soon, MULTIVERSAL PIZZA (and subs) DOMINATION WILL BE THEIRS!
Just as long as she doesn’t accidentally cause Soggies to try and take over or something.
They may yet rule
Unintentional consequences? From cross-dimensional travel? Pshaw! That would NEVER happen in a Willis work!
Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs) provides a dinner and a show, and the show is getting to see Galasso. Come on, I’d eat here just to hear Galasso.
I think that’s just canon
Think of it this way: Going back in immediately is less embarrassing than “not coming back” or showing up in 5 minutes. Your date is waiting! That said, I’m not really sure what Daisy is supposed to do (other than maybe contact Jennifer), since Ruth is inside and Daisy doesn’t know what she looks like. Does Ruth know what Daisy looks like? Setting up blind dates like this only really works if you have a go-between who knows both sides.
Conquest? How many years has it been since we last saw her in a strip?
How many days are in a few years of comics?
Last appearance was in December of 2016
so approximately a week comic time
Well, more now because of the time skip.
Her previous appearance occurred on September 23rd, DoA time. Now it’s January, but we don’t know the exact date or day of the week yet.
Here’s some genuine advice for if you find yourself in this kind of situation: If possible, just laugh at your mistake to defuse the awkwardness. Say something like “Oh, I thought you were my blind date! Sorry!” In general, explaining the situation makes you seem like less of a weirdo and more of a person making an honest mistake.
That or just imagine the other person naked, and– nope
Who the frick came up with that bs anyway
i think it’s more commonly recommended when addressing an audience actually. i guess if everyone is naked it stops being erotic and just becomes silly? idk i don’t talk to audiences.
…I really needed this laugh tonight.
$29.95? Dang, those are some pricey T-shirts.
they’re $19.99 ^^
It’s these 66-year-old eyes. Thought it said $29.99 for the T-shirts and $19.99 for the tank tops.
I mean, Conny works for a) her parents, one of whom is b) Galasso.
Is she really being paid to be nice?
and if so, is she paid enough?
And if not, is she really paid to lure the customers into a sense of unguarded complacency?
Oh, obviously. Pamela’s not actually any less of a supervillain than her husband, she’s just SMARTER about it. Subtle. The financial mastermind behind the Galasso Empire, which Conquest will someday inherit!
I don’t know how much she’s being paid, but I DO know she’s not being paid enough. I DO expect Galasso’s to pay its employees a decent wage, but there’s no money in the WORLD enough to compensate having to be nice to, say, Mary.
I don’t believe Mary has ever been to Galasso’s. She and Galasso have not appeared together. And nobody is paying me enough to do a tag trawl of Mary.
eh, most customer-facing jobs require you to be some level of nice to customers, and they all involve serving Maries (or worse) every day.
so what you’re saying is, service jobs should pay better.
i mean,
yeah.
“I am paid to be nice!” Gotta love how up-front Conquest is about that. She’s not letting you see behind the veil, she’s tearing the veil down and burning it. Although given how easy it is to mistake friendliness for flirting, she probably has to be up-front to stave off even half the propositions she gets.
Additionally, I seem to recall that Connie is a couple of years younger than the main cast making her very underage. So, yeah, awkward.
The romcom set-up is pretty obvious here. I wonder what lonely/unhappy lady Ruth will meet in there whilst Daisy is off bitterly regretting her wholly-imaginary faults?
The wiki says she’s sixteen, so… yeah, abandon ship.
Indiana’s age of consent is 16, so the ship can sail. Legally. Morally is another question.
Wait, how old is Daisy. I don’t expect her to be older than, like, 18-19, that doesn’t seem like a moral problem. I mean, know which of these two seems to have it more together.
Daisy is in Ruth’s age group, I think – Junior or Senior year – so she might be as old as 21.
I assume, just from her being in charge of the newspaper. I don’t think it’s been stated explicitly though.
Oh god, no, yeah, torpedo that ship, burn the shipyard, and hang the shipwright.
then torch the gallows, ship the ashes to the Marianas trench, torpedo that ship, then date the torpedo operator, let me give you her number
I seem to recall we got recent notification that Daisy is 26. She’s not a student.
I love the alt-text here.
Glad to see Connie in this universe has retained the ability to be merciless when she feels like being merciless. Feels very Gen z this time and I am here for it
Damn! Should have used the desktop to post… here I don’t get my gravatar
OUCH! Poor Daisy.
Conquest hair is like it’s glowing. You know, like Super Sonic…
Jennifer forgot to tell Daisy (or show her a picture or something) what Ruth looks like?
Jennifer is a terrible wingwoman.
Connie: Completely unfazed.
Daisy: Not so much.
NO OFFSPRING OF GALASSO’S SHALL SUFFER FROM THE AFFLICTION OF THE COMMONERS KNOWS AS “FAZING”.
Faz has a chart that disagrees.
So… when does she turn into a grumpy blood-thirsty grandpa with a cybernetic arm?
I suppose that I shouldn’t be too surprised about how much of a nervous wreck is Daisy
Like, who confuses “Hi, welcome to *business name*” with a general introduction
she’s blinding
I’ve got a mental image of Daisy down on one knee in front of her calling her ‘my Sun Queen’ and Gallasso grumbling about “finally, someone addresses Gallasso’s daughter by her proper title!”
I have never understood the economic phenomenon that causes tank-tops to cost more than a regular t-shirt.
Also are awkward lady-boners a thing?
They don’t though? The T-Shirts are $19.99 and the Tank tops are $14.95
a) I’m getting old, the price for tank tops looked like $24.95,
b) I’ve seen this IRL, so I accepted the dissonance.
Conquest is literally glowing.
Yeah, Daisy is in love and this can only lead to complications.
Galasso pays a grip to keep a spotlight on her for her entire shift. It gets awkward when she’s at school because they have to follow her around with the light on a jib.
Conquest has obviously been raised to be DaddysLittleVillain. ( do NOT google that .. itsatrap Go to
this. )
somebody better pick up that phone
Because i fucking
C A L L E D I T
…so how long have you been keeping that joke in the cooler?
Too long
(Is that a reference i see?)