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LAKE YELLOWWOOD SLAUGHTER on Kickstarter now
Barb O. Saur 
⚧️
People are allowed to dress up as WHATEVER THEY WANT
INCLUDING LEAFS FANS
the scariest Halloween costume
Or the most disappointing.
They’re first in the North division this year
They might have a hard time staying there after Tavares got hit in the head last night.
Do you mean that people are allowed to dress up as leafs fans, or that leafs fans, as something less than people, are still allowed to dress up? (even if they aren’t capable of it)
Both!
Sorry but there’s no version of reality where a sports sweater is not dressing down.
Some people define dressing up as wearing a favorite outfit, some as wearing their most expensive outfit, some as wearing their most fashionable outfit, and some as wearing the outfit they believe they look best in.
When I “dress up” for dates (all 4 that I’ve had), I wear my favorite t-shirt (it declares me as “protected by plot armor!), my favorite shorts (unless it’s cold, then I go for sweat pants), and my usual protagonist regalia (fancy hat, snazzy vest *now with more pockets*, and useless goggles). That’s also how I just dress on most Fridays, and the rest of the week I wear slightly less awesome t-shirts and significantly less cool shorts (the sweat pants are usually the same, more or less). For job interviews I swap the t-shirt out for a plain blue one (because I’ve been informed that graphic tees are “unprofessional” and am aware that wearing blue causes you to be perceived as more intelligent on a subconscious level) and the vest is changed for my previous one with fewer pockets as it has a sleeker look.
In Wisconsin, people wear Packer jerseys to church all season long. Much more common than ties.
C’mon, they could actually be dressing up as members of the Toronto Maple Leaaahhahahahaha SORRY COULDN’T KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE
I don’t know who Dave Keon is.
Famous Canadian hockey player who played for like 22 years. He was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Hell, I barely know US athletes, but now I find myself with a sudden urge to research the Leafs.
Lie down and rest. The urge will go away. If it doesn’t have a cuppa. Tea fixes everything.
Tea is for Brits, Asians and pansies. Real Americans drink coffee and let things fester.
Real coffee kills whatever is festering.
And its absence kills Tuvix and at least one Harry Kim.
Fitting then that (according to 23andMe, at least) I’m around 20ish percent English.
Back when I was in college, I was given the nickname of “The Englishman” as I almost always had a mug of tea with me whenever I was just chilling out in the communal areas
Brits? Asians? Pansies? PANSIES? Where do you get off? I’m an American of nearly 72 years standing and my tea can kick you coffee’s ass. Smart aleck.
There’s tea, and then there’s TEA!
Coffee sucks. Tea is way better.
<–American, non "pansy"
I agree. Tea is definitely the better.
I prefer tea, and I’m an American.
I prefer tea, and I don’t even really like tea
Americans are so crazy about tea, they started a war over it. That’s the whole reason they aren’t British. They’re all “Hands off my tea! I’ve got a gun!”
Uncle Iron and Captain Levi would like words with you.
Iroh. But … appropriate, in Season 3.
Also Caduceus Clay.
Forget tea or coffee. Slug a six pack of Red Bull. That’ll cure what ails ya.
So long as what ails you is a heartbeat in proper rhythm, yes.
I pour hot coffee over tea bags sometimes.
How well it works depends on the kind of tea.
Toronto is now in the US? When did Canada get annexed?
It was one of the lesser known outcomes of the Texas-Israeli War.
https://tinyurl.com/xmkkhkmp
The treaty defining the US-Canada border actually says all the land WEST of a certain point is USA. Apparently, this is a clerical error, and was supposed to say ‘North.’ As a result of this, Minnesota has a ‘chimney’ jutting into Canada, and if you look at a better map, you see that this consists of mostly water.
One can argue that a good chunk of Canada is actually USA, says this treaty, but in one of those flukes, people chose to honour the agreement they intended, not the treaty they all signed.
Which treaty? There have been at least 8 treaty’s setting the border between US and Canada, not to mention a couple of conventions and a tribunal or two.
Probably the Oregon Treaty, that set the US/Canada border at the 49th parallel. As “54-40 or fight” was a popular US slogan (giving the US all of British Columbia) prior to the treaty settled matters, Canadians prepared for a possible fight by inventing ice hockey.
One treaty or another defined the border to start at the northwest corner of a lake then extend west to the Pacific. However, the maps they had were vague and incomplete because it was the 18th or 19th century and they were hundreds (if not thousands) of miles away. This resulted in Minnesota biting off a piece of Canada (the Northwest Angle).
Further west, they knew about Vancouver island and ceded it to Canada, but missed Point Roberts, so we’re left with a little chunk of Washington state hanging off of British Columbia.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qMkYlIA7mgw
I believe the intended meaning was “…I barely know US athletes [let alone Canadian ones]…”
Correct
Too late, you’ve kickstarted an international incident between Canada and the US
How are we supposed to sort out this incident from the mess Biden is already cleaning up “thanks” be to his predecessor (may he also be pre-deceased)?
Well shit. That’s the second one I’ve started this year
All you need to know is that they’re the NHL team with the longest Stanley Cup drought in history, yet somehow still manage to maintain a fan base.
I mean, the Browns still have fans, so . . .
If you’re interested in Hockey, Wayne Gretzky has the absolute best “Are you kidding me?” facts?
Wayne Gretzky has the most career points of any player in the NHL. If you discount all of his goals, he STILL has the most career points of any player in the NHL.
Wayne Gretzky was the fastest player to accumulate 1000 career points. He was also the second fastest player to accumulate 1000 career points (1000-2000).
Wayne Gretzky and his brother, Brent, hold the record for most points scored by a pair of brothers in the NHL. Brent Gretzky has 4 career points.
It’s like the Chuck Norris jokes of Hockey.
He played FIFTEEN SEASONS with the Toronto Maple Leafs, and other things from his opening Wikipedia paragraph.
I assume he played Hockey with the Maple Leafs, and was a palyer of skill and renown
I didn’t think the Leafs had any of those
He might simply be famous for his resilience, high pain tolerance, and irrational tenacity.
Well one plyer who knows his arse from his elbow isn’t enough when the rest of the team couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery
The Leafs usually have one or two players of skill and renown at any given time. That’s not really enough to do well in the playoffs, though.
Honestly I suspect it’s funnier that way, and also means we’re reacting the same way as Daisy, who I’m pretty sure doesn’t know the names of any skate-shinty players either.
(“Skate-shinty” is a name I made up after reading Daniel Radcliffe’s claim that the best way to annoy a Canadian was to refer to “ice hockey”, as though “hockey” on its own could possibly mean field hockey, and wondering if there was anything worse you could call it.)
Violent figure skating?
/cough/Tanya /cough/Harding
I’m assuming a hockey player, since Ruth knows who he is.
What do you mean, you don’t know who Dave Keon is?
He’s the one with the missing jersey.
Well, seems Conquest was able to cut through Daisy’s awkwardness and get her to her table. Now, the trainwreck can truly begin.
Everything before was merely a little wobble in the tracks.
Well, this is off to a great start
I can hardly wait for the terrible middle
It will all end in
tearsa Slipshinea flashback to Mike entering witness protection.And getting rid of Billie, of course. That’s why Jennifer exists.
Eh, still a better start than Ruth and Billie
Define better.
Not starting with physical assault.
Still too early for that call…
If it works for them, who are we to criticize?
We are the judges of this date. Why do you think we have giant cards with numbers on them.
I wonder how many DoA readers are into hockey enough to really get this punchline.
For those who aren’t, the hovertext is a good start
Or you know, google/wikipedia.
Or context clues.
It works just as well whether Daisy / the reader has heard of him or not.
Or just context. “A Leafs player, obviously.”
I had to Google him. I can only name about 3 former hockey players (Gordie Howe, Bobby Hull and Wayne Gretzky).
HOW DARE YOU!!1! THERE ARE NO FORMER HOCKEY PLAYers, there are only hockey… pla….zzzzzz
The only hockey players I know are Wayne Gretzky and Bill Barilko, and the latter only because I’m a Tragically Hip fan. At least he was a Leaf!
Bill Barilko disappeared that summer,
he was on a fishing trip.
The last goal he ever scored
won the Leafs the Cup
They didn’t win another until 1962,
the year he was discovered.
— The Tragically Hip, “Fifty Mission Cap”
That is the sum total of my hockey trivia knowledge.
I think the punchline is better if you don’t know hockey. We’re like daisy, “who the fuck is Dave Keon?”
I’m torn between hoping this goes well and still not being over the OTP breakup.
Liking their dynamic so far!
Between her fate over in the Walkyverse and all the shit she’s dealt with here, I just want Ruth to be happy (or whatever the closest Ruth equivalent is)
Becoming a truck driver?
This!
I’m feeling very protective of Ruth in this version of reality. She deserves a world where she’s happy.
Honestly, I hope it goes so well that it makes Jennifer super jealous. That is the downside to setting up someone you’re not over with someone else.
Ruth deserves to be happy, Daisy deserves to not be thirsty, Jennifer deserves a taste of her own actions backfiring with actual consequences.
Win-win-freakin’-win!
The downside to setting up someone you’re not over with someone else….
Tell Dorothy.
Dorothy metabolises jealousy into kindness, she would in fact, become even MORE supportive if she felt jealous.
Daisy, please, you’re on a date with a Canadian, you’re treading thin ice.
Speaking of the Leafs, hope Tavares is doing okay.
The fact the Leafs lost their star player and the game tonight somehow makes this strip even more interesting
Don’t worry that Jersey comes right off.
Just ask Jennifer about it, also ask her about wearing one of Ruth’s jerseys and seeing how she reacts.
Better yet, show her.
Just don’t try that but end up with a Canadiens one instead lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZyDsF-Gp3o
I KNEW that was what you were linking.
“It is at this point you might hear Go Leafs, a highly effective mating call of many college-age lesbians.”
–Sir David Attenborough
Irrational gigglesnorts.
Yoto, I await your recreation of the final panel but with Ruth’s jersey off.
fifteen seasons with the Leafs? yikes
And yet he made into the hall of fame.
Well deserved for that level of dedication and loyalty.
He played when the Leafs were good though. They won 4 Stanley Cups while he was with them.
whoa, i didn’t realize they sold jerseys from the 1800s
And I had basically stopped following hockey by his rookie season. I have two home-town teams because of expansion, but I don’t know any of their players in either the team in the town I live next to or the town I spent years growing up in.
No! Bring back the shades!
Will the girl with the self deprecating opinion of herself and the other girl too desperate for female contact to notice make a perfect match?!…Who knows, but you should at least be able to milk a few decent jokes from the scenario before we all get bored!
In my honest opinion, no. Ruth would be too bitter and angry (she’s clearly not over Billie yet, so she’s not in a good enough mental and emotional space to be ready for a new relationship) to make good company, and Daisy’s desperate enough to come off as being “clingy”, which usually doesn’t endear one to others.
But, as others have said, the trainwreck ought to be morbidly amusing at least. XD
*plays The White Stripes’ “Hardest Button To Button” on the jukebox*
More like “I Don’t Know What to Do With Myself” amirite?
Today is a cruel day for the Leafs.
Someday Ruth needs a hug, but if only she won’t break my femurs right after.
Let’s face it, anyone who likes Ruth’s hockey team half as much as she does is worth knowing, and anyone else, probably not. (If you’re Ruth,)
So is Ruth intentionally bombing this?
What? This is HOW she flirts.
Did you not read any of the strips with her and Bil-Jennifer?
I don’t think she is intentionally bombing this as much as she’s not been in a good mood lately. And that coupled with her expectations of this going wrong could be setting it up for failure.
Of course she’s not intentionally bombing this. Look, she dressed up for it and everything.
She didn’t know to wear a jersey with a chest window.
Potentially, although if Ruth really wanted to ruin this I’m sure she could do a much better job of it. If you look back to the 4/19 strip where Ruth is just lying in bed talking to herself, it’s pretty clear she’s still hung up on Billie. I’m sure Ruth feels all sorts of conflicting emotions about being set up on a blind date by her ex
How long before Daisy admits to being a Canadiens fan?
Daisy does not watch mens’ sports for non-work related reasons
If Daisy does watch any sports, I bet her favorite is women’s beach volleyball.
I started to think of other Canadian hockey players that could have been used for this joke and with the obvious exceptions of Howe and Gretzky, ever single one of them played for the Habs.
Poor Maple Loafs.
Where I come from, “formalwear” is jeans with no holes in them.
Wearing the sweater of one of the last Maple Leafs to actually WIN the Stanley Cup (and the ONLY Leaf to date to win the Conn Smythe Trophy as Stanley Cup Playoffs MVP)… an event that I’m willing to bet more than 99% of the readership (myself included) were not even alive for, back in 1967.
Nope first Stanley Cup Champion I was alive for was Gretzky and the Oilers beating the Bruins
I hear Lord Arthur Frederick Stanley of Preston, 16th Earl of Derby never once played professional hockey and yet he was still inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Those wacky Canadians.
That’s only 3 Earl of Derbys ago! Their estate is very close to where I live. I had no idea that the Stanley Cup was related to them, I assumed it was named after a hockey player or something.
Apparently the 17th Earl gave a Stanley Cup to the French as well, to be the cup for the winners of their rugby league tournament.
Also we’ve just started a Premier League Hall of Fame this year… Seems like a fairly pointless enterprise so far, I’m not entirely sure what purpose it actually serves.
I know absolutely nothing about it and can tell you with absolute confidence that it’s purpose is making money.
Yeah, that’s pretty much guaranteed.
What I’m not sure of is how it’s supposed to make money. At the moment they’re just announcing that players have been inducted into it with no fanfare or presentation ceremony or anything, and I don’t believe there’s a physical location to visit.
It says presented by Budweiser on the site, so I guess there might be sponsorship money?
I understand that Lord Coupe Grey Cup only got into the Canadian Football Hall of Fame (which I’ve been to) because he insisted on getting rid of 4th down.
Wait. Do Canadians play football or soccer?
Canadian football is similar to American football. I believe the major differences are a longer field and 3 downs instead of 4.
I was watching Hockey Night in Canada from Vancouver BC in 1967 while living in Bellingham WA.
Ruth tries to make a good impression I see
Hi, I’m Daisy!
I’m Batman.
Appropriate Gravatars are wildly inappropriate.
“I’m Daisy doing a Batman-vanish.”
Conquest having such a high weirdness tolerance is fun, though I also get that working in food, this is like on the pleasant end of weird.
Ruth and Daisy, Ruth and Daisy… this is going to be interesting.
Also, her father is Galasso. I mean, what does that make normal?
“Hi, you are not Ruth, are you?”
Ouch, don’t ask them if they are your date like that, Daisy. That just sounds rude.
I sense the third mulligan being inbound any second now
Meh. I read it along the lines of, “you wouldn’t happen to be my date, would you?” Like having no need to go looking for offense when none was intended.
Battle of the self-loathing lesbians.
I originally read “Conrad” as “Coward”. Eh, after the last couple of strips, it made sense.
Ditto.
Also, it makes the hockey jersey appropriate. She’s being loyal to the nightmare of her choice.
Okay I was a little hesitant the past two days, but Conquest finding Daisy amusing rather than pathetic clinched it for me. I’m jumping on that ship.
Connie’s like 16 dude
The…Conquest/Daisy ship? Daisy’s got at least four years on Conquest (who per word of Willis was 16 at least in “Season 1”), quite possibly five or more seeing as how she’s in charge of the college paper and is probably around Ruth’s own age (21).
Welp, ship is sunk. Conquest hadn’t showed up in so long I forgot her age.
It’s never mentioned among the 6 strips she’s tagged in. I only learned it reading the Patreon bonus strips, so unless you’re on Patreon, bought the book it’s in, or that info was posted somewhere else, I wouldn’t worry too much about not knowing.
I’m wondering how cannon it is. Wouldn’t working as a waitress in a restaurant violate child labor laws or something?
Many jurisdictions allow kids to work for their parents without restriction. Most allow 16 year olds to get at least part-time jobs.
I wasn’t too worried about it, but this does make me feel slightly less embarrassed, so thanks for mentioning it.
Ship sunk. Daisy doesn’t look like a Republican challenger for Senate in Wyoming. (If someone reads this comment ten years from now I really hope they have no idea what this references.)
I never noticed Conquest’s hair being blindingly blonde in her previous appearances.
Working at Galasso’s for long enough does have its perks, especially when your father is a would-be supervillain.
I would think that all the grease in the air would dull the color of one’s hair. I mean, I get that it’s merely a part of her redesign (she’s thiccer now too, which is probably something that matches her character perfectly).
Galasso pays/intimidates grips from the college theatre department to keep a spotlight focused on her 24/7.
Geez Ruth, was getting propositioned yesterday not an adequate ego boost for you?
If she was going truly formal, she’d switch to Gordie Howe… or at least Steve Yzerman….
I’m not sure at which point the Maple Leafs annexed the Red Wings.
omg hiimdaisy
Ruth is gonna order up some fsteak.
Not the best start, but it is a start! Let’s hope Ruth don’t start to talk nonstop about Jennifer. I just hope this date will be funny for both of them.
Or at least funny for us.
But we don’t count because we are all quite sadistic.
Some of us aren’t.
Or so I assume.
“So, he’s a professional ballplayer?”
“HOCKEY player.”
“Wait, people play hockey professionally?”
“… This is not a good start.”
So this seems to be going well.
Wait: Toronto Maple Leafs are real? I spent all my time reading DoA since the start, thinking they are fictional and shit.
The name does seem a little on the nose, doesn’t it?
Maybe they were trying to Out-Canada other Canadian teams?
Well, some of the other Canadian teams are the Montreal Canadiens (which of course is just literally “Canadians” in French), and the Vancouver Canucks, so they’re sort of trying to out-Canada each other.
The Yankees, the Patriots, there’s a team called the *Texans*.
You DO realize that IU is a real place as well? and Galasso’s, while not real, IS based on a real place… and BJ Cat is real too?
I understand that there’s even a bush there that looks exactly like BJ Cat.
The real-life BJ Cat isn’t a bush, it’s a children’s sculpture situated outside a school…and it looks pretty much exactly how it’s depicted in the comic (with the exception that the “spots” on it in the comic are actually children’s handprints IRL), glowing eyes at night and all.
Conquest being a ray of sunshine – even if she IS getting paid for doing this precisely – really turns my brain 90° after marathoning Shortpacked!
offf big “I like that sport team more than I like getting laid” energy
Connie is fantastic.
Ruth and Daisy both need hugs, maybe.
I’m hoping their date goes well, but judging by how it’s started so far I’m getting the feeling it’ll end badly.
Yeah, nothing about any part of this set-up is good, is it?
“Your ex-girlfriend sold you to me in exchange for more work at the newspaper.”
“Actually, she sold you to me to keep me out of her hair.”
@ Siva [responding to yesterday’s comment °3°]
fuckin love this song! can’t make out half of what she’s saying lol. truly a mortal peril for the french language. (as defined by older upper-class parisian whites)
yeah Aya Nakamura is a perfect example of what i was talking about. she was correctly upheld by one MP as proof that the french language is alive and kicking, and of course this sparked a ludicrous “controversy” i.e. she was barraged with vicious sneer from slimy journos and politicians pandering to the racists and those who would taxidermy their own language. *sigh*
Daisy is doing a lot better with this conversation path. It would have been easy for her to have read “how I wish I weren’t” as not being happy to see Daisy as her blind date.
She must have flushed the awkward out of her system with Conquest.
Well, mostly
I am loving Daisy’s increased role and involvement with the main cast, and I hope this continues. Also I really want this date to go well for them.
Agreed! She’s already made her way into my top 5 characters list. (Well, the short term rolling average version anyway.)
And we’re off!
To borrow my favorite movie tagline: “Who will survive, and what will be left of them?”
“Jennifer said you were dressing up.”
… and Daisy wore _a hoodie_ to her date.
Just admit neither of you had high hopes for this date. With your expectations mutually lowered, you can proceed to have fun!
i mean she did buy it like 3 seconds ago in a panic after throwing away her coat
The rest of Daisy’s outfit doesn’t really read as too ‘dressed up’ to me either, but still moreso than Ruth’s sports jersey. If Ruth was still wearing the blue button-down and two-tone cardigan we saw her in earlier, I don’t think Daisy would’ve commented negatively.
Daisy’s going to end up with Conquest by the end of this strip. I can just tell.
Definitely not, considering the roughly-five-year age gap between them. Pretty sure Willis doesn’t want to go down that route.
Dave Keon was my favorite player when I was a kid. Sweet reference.
Also, 14 is a great number.
Honestly Daisy, if you meet Conquest’s dad you’ll immediately realize absolutely nothing you say will ever be crazier than her daily life already.
Anyway, I hope the date goes well, even if it ends up being “oh we’re not compatible, but I still had a good time”. I think that’d be the best case scenario for me because it would involve Ruth and Daisy having a new friend and Jennifer’s plan backfiring for her. It’s a win-win.
Wow. Daisy, you should feel honoured, Ruth doesn’t don the hallowed Dave Keon jersey for just anyone.
If that’s her fancy wear it’s a good thing she doesn’t have any posh parties
I have no idea who that player is /was but the sweater has a C on it so he was the captain. That counts as dressing up.