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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3h
Diem @diemtf.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
Paul Southworth 
@southworth.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
nami @namioshiro.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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Don’t forget the happy little clouds
and the happy little accidents?
In my experience “Happy accidents” turn into lifetime commitments.
In my 30s I came to see my infertility as more of a blessing than a curse… happy genetic accident!
Accidents cause people.
Our species probably would be extinct if it weren’t for accidents.
Children in the dark cause accidents; accidents in the dark cause children.
Well put!
They specifically made sure that wouldn’t happen last night.
Frankly, I know of a petting accident that resulted in a pregnant “virgin”. It didn’t turn into an “immaculate” birth since the couple figured that if they were paying the price anyway, they could at least make it worth it. And they did, made it work, and in their mid-40s already were grandparents (they do have a 5-generation family photograph).
I digress. Making sure might be harder than you think.
I think they might have done “petting” very incorrectly.
Sounds like giving petting their 110%. Or more. Their coach would approve.
>Making sure might be harder than you think.
Yet more evidence that lesbian sex is superior.
… but wait she had lesbian sex with Joe so the only logical conclusion is that even cis lesbian sex cannot protect you 100%???
100% correct. as Doyle put it, once you have determined the impossible, whatever is left however inprobable (or in the words of benoit blanc, stupid) must be true.
men get snipped, then you ad a few orders of magnitude to the improbability to an accident occurring!
I mean if thats what hes into
before you have a happy accident
Oh I’m sure your tree is very happy right now, Joe
But what if it were happier?
I don’t get it.
I’m glad someone other than me have asked about it.
I’ll be that person.
He’s trying not to have an orgasm in the shower after spending all night staying dry with the woman of his dreams.
Boy’s on a hair trigger at the moment i’ll imagine.
Is it because it’s bad manners in a communal shower?
I can’t really imagine it’s because he thinks it wrong to uh, spill his seed on the ground.
I would assume so if the showers have communal drains. Nothing like trying to shower and getting to watch someone’s unripened fruit float by.
These kids don’t get a lot of privacy, do they? Communal showers, half-baths, roommates…
You do -not- want to touch the walls in the shower of a submarine.
Weird, my communal showers had individual drains in the stalls and no way of seeing what another person was doing or draining into their own area.
The creeping neo Puritanism of “sex?? between consenting adults in the privacy of your own home but using a couch I might theoretically someday sit on?????”
Some of us need to reexamine our thought processes and figure out when we started agreeing with the premise that sex is inherently shameful and traumatic.
This seems more a matter of it being gross and physically dirty, rather than shameful and traumatic. Like it’s more about the fluids than any sense of shame.
Still weird though.
At least the shower’s probably the easiest place to clean up afterwards.
I think I skipped a bit of connective tissue in my comment in the name of pithiness, heh, because I agree with you but I would argue that the “this is so gross and dirty” attitude is rooted in the unexamined idea that sex is shameful and that finding evidence of someone else having masturbated (which, for some reason, we are assuming would be left behind instead of going seamlessly down the drain, probably because lack of sex education is giving folks a very inaccurate idea of how thick semen is, lol) is the part that keeps being presumed traumatic.
Also, fully agree, the shower is literally the best place Joe could be jerkin’ it. This way he’s not even sexiling Danny! As long as he doesn’t make noise worthy of a porno, there’s no reason anyone else should even need to know he’s doing that in there.
(Not that I even think he is, I kinda think this is a cold shower, but it would be fine if he were.)
Why do we need to invent problems that haven’t been shown to exist in this comic? Communal drains, gimme a break.
Perhaps he has his own feelings of it being ‘wrong’ somehow. It could be he wants to share the experience with Joyce and her not being there cheapens it.
It could also be more a ‘bro thing’. Joe usually gets his orgasms from a partner. He might not want to ejaculate by himself. Or maybe he views it as premature ejaculation before Joyce didn’t actually do anything direct.
Honestly though, i’m going with he views it as rude when people jerk off in the shower and other people have to deal with the trail.
What the hell are you talking about? He’s already said he jacks off a lot. He’s doing it right now, probably. You’re just making things up out of nothing. Complete air.
Forgive me for not remembering Joe’s jacking off habits.
Semen isn’t water soluble either, so it can lead to clogs and a really embarrassing hall meeting.
Real life does work like the Tim & Eric’s Bedtime Stories 2015 Christmas special “Tornado”. Nobody’s putting that much down the drain.
because he’s trying to pee???
I don’t get it either honestly XD
Happy trees make the best kind of wood, hard.
The Bob Ross painting motion is similar to jorkin’ it.
He’s in there beating his… brush.
just beatin’ the devil out of it
Reminds me of a comic I used to read. Some guys are sitting around beside the pool when a smokin’ hot piece of jail-bait walks by in a bikini. They all know her big sister would geld them with a rusty spoon if they laid a finger on her. One says “I’m conflicted about how to respond to this.” Another replies “I’m not. I’m gonna go inside and beat my dick like it owes me money.”
I prefer Cal’s “Mastering my Joystick, guy!”
Joe Rosenthal is Prickasso’s secret identity.
Happy Trees sounds like a Bob Ross reference to me so maybe Joe is “painting” the shower stall walls with…something
Ohhh. Gross. Just gross. Other people use that shower, Joe.
However, I do appreciate you all taking the time to elucidate that.
I mean, there’s water and soap everywhere, he can just wipe the walls down when he’s done. Joe is hardly the first or last person to jerk it (or pee or bang someone) in the shared shower stalls at college.
Nocturnal emissions. Good hygiene. For many reasons the same bio matter ends up in showers anyways. The only reason to criticise someone for masturbating in a shared shower stall is puritanically driven social standards.
some shared showers have shared drains, even if they have individual stalls.
I mean, so what? The water and stuff doesn’t usually flow up from the drains, it only flows away, never to return again
They mean there’s a single drain in one stall where the water from the adjacent stalls flows toward It’s not super common, but it does happen in some very cheap places.
ah, the Joy of Painting
what with all the stroking and stuff XD
Now they’re load bearing walls
Ugh. Have a +1.
Hey-OHHHH
Finally, an explanation that makes sense.
According to a Patreon comment from Willis, yeah it’s exactly that
Neither do I.
I get that he’s masturbating.
I get that this is a Bob Ross reference.
… I just don’t get why Joe would want to think about Bob Ross while masturbating.
Everybody has their kinks, which are both the most personal and least rational things in the world.
I’d assumed he was not actually masturbating, and trying to suppress the urges by distracting himself with non-sexy thoughts. Basically, what Sharizard posted above.
Other commenters are playing word-games, as is common here.
My takeaway from all this is that there’s a collection of DoA readers who are suprisingly innocent.
Either that, or not awake enough at time of commenting.
He’s trying to get rid of his wood by distracting himself, not jerk off. Bob Ross isn’t erotic. Willis is just fucking with people by making it only the happy trees and happy clouds. It would be like doing algebra or reciting baseball stats or thinking about the fortune he’ll make with Rosenthal Robotics, if this were a different universe. He probably has the shower set to cold, too.
> Bob Ross isn’t erotic
NOW YOU TELL ME
Aaand of course we cut away to Joe. While Joyce’s mind is busy melting and reforming.
Straight up Joenkin it
you cant stop the joementum
and by ‘it’, haha, well. let’s justr say. his trees.
Joenkin it in San Diego
I will forever feel bad for campus janitorial.
I used to have to clean the guys’ bathroom on campus. I’ve got a perma-scowl from when there were puddles on the floor BEFORE I mopped.
I hope Joe isn’t about to rub one out in the shower. As people have pointed out water doesn’t make for good lube. Besides if you had asked Joyce before she left I’m sure she would have helped you with your… “situation.”
Eh, if he’s got lotion in that shower caddy, he’ll be fine.
Conditioner can do the trick
Or any of the dozens of slippery fluids we use to clean ourselves, really.
Conditioner, eh? I’ll that that under advisement.
Shampoo and conditioner can REALLY hurt if they get in there. Just use soap or spit.
Some people can jerk with lube but that can lead to chafing even with good lube. Just grabbing on and making the hand motion leads to the loose penis skin stroking the shaft, using their own internal lubricant. This can go on pretty much indefinitely as long as they aren’t too rough.
Sort of like rubbing the clit hood over the clit instead of touching it directly. Touching the Buber directly can also lead to relief usually by rhythmic squeezing.
This is where foreskin comes handy.
Pretty sure Joe doesn’t have that.
Ooooooh. I was like “why is everyone acting like lubricant is something you *need* to masturbatory?”
America and it’s weird circumcision culture, right, got it.
Joe is jewish. Nothing to do with U.S. culture.
I mean, the USA does also have a culture of circumcising infants regardless of religion. But yeah, in Joe’s case, it was likely a religious decision.
80% just because
Yeah Joe is Jewish. You telling me everyone here in these comments acting like you can’t masturbate without lube is also Jewish?
Joe is Jewish
Ahhh, belated ditto. Like, lube is great! Super great and something that needs to be way more standard in piv sex. But there really, really isn’t a problem with masturbating a penis in the shower if it has a foreskin.
The fact that he made it as FAR as the shower is proof of his phenominal self control.
Joe normally jerks off at least six times a day, I’m sure he’s got a method that doesn’t clog the shower drains.
I wonder if Joe is at level 3 yet with Joyce, or if they’re still at 2. Girl’s gotta get through that.
semen does not clog or block plumbing, including shower drains.
Communal shower…without shower sandals…
He could really use Joyce’s jugs right about now, huh?
There are already a LOT of dirty jokes here today, but this one’s my favorite.
+1 internet point.
+2
Take a shower < Do laundry
College men are a different and often grungier breed.
Source: I was a college male at one point.
And Bob’s legscy endures. 🤭
That towel is doing a lot of work.
Joe, the Ministry of Silly Walks called!
They wanna do an interview!
Thanks, very few comments can make me truly let out a hearty laugh
would it be too crude to suggest he’s making tress with semen?
I think that is implied already
Planting seed…
Watching his acorn grow…
(In French the word for “acorn” is “glans”, which is the same as the word for “penis”.)
part of it anyway
Q. What’s long and woody and full of seamen?
A. A ship!
/pun
I remember in my school the variant of that joke that went around was “What’s long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine!”
Joe is following Bob’s advice and beating the devil out of it.
I do not remember the episode, but I distinctly remember Bob once saying “beat the little devil off” instead of “beat the devil out of it”.
I don’t think that’s what they meant by morning wood, Joe.
Side note: hey Joe why the fuck are you standing on the floor of dorm showers in bare feet. How badly do you want to get warts
He is a bit distracted right now.
I understand this is a possibility, but I don’t remember anyone worrying about it in my college days. Nor do I remember anyone getting warts – though I suppose I might just have not known. It certainly wasn’t commonplace.
I have to think the concern about this is overblown.
As someone who frequently forgets shower shoes in situations with communal showers, I also think it is overblown.
I think it depends on different factors, but I got plantar warts from the gym shower in middle school, and it sucked. (Made worse by me not really understanding what it was and letting it go longer without treatment than I should have.)
In my college dorms, I think the it would have been less conducive to spreading them– individual, closed off shower stalls, cleaned at least once if not twice a day, and many people who do use shower shoes… you’d probably be okay. With my experience, I wasn’t looking to take the risk, though. Also, stepping in someone else’s wet hair feels gross.
I think it’s prooooobably a combination of things, like genetic predispositions. Some folks’ immune systems are more or less reactive, and that makes this kind of… infection??? …more or less likely.
I think getting a wart once is more than enough reason to be hesitant, but I’d agree it’s probably not something everyone needs to worry about.
Also too, as Yumi noted, some people are also going to be more or less sensitive to unpleasant textures encountered when barefoot.
Dendrophiliac confirmed
I’ve never thought about Bob Ross like that, and I don’t really want to.
Who the hell is Bob Ross??
The painter who is famous for cozy, relaxed, and warm painting demonstration and instruction.
Bob Ross is the television painter and third member of the Mr Fred Rogers/Steve Irwin good people meme trifecta.
Have you considered brain bleach? https://www.amazon.com/Intox-BRAIN-BLEACH-8oz-Flask/dp/B01M3N6J33
Eight hours? You might not make it after a month’s worth of pressin’
Two if we’re resilient
The harder the pressin’ the bigger the messin’…
If her mouth he be pressin’
easy clean is the messin’
Let this be a lesson,
Unless we’re digressin!
Joe’s thighs are oddly short.
Joe’s asking a lot from that towel.
Joseph “3 Miles Long” Rosenthal
And 8 miles high…
“Huh I thought the stereotype was thinking about basebal– JOE NOOOO NOT THE STALL WALL!”
*Plays “Bob Ross Remixed” on the hacked CRT TV monitor…*
https://youtu.be/YLO7tCdBVrA
*…Then plays the Fallout 4 remix of the remix on the hacked gaming monitor…*
(TV-MA for Violence)
https://youtu.be/DB_J1khj6eQ
Joeseph Pollock.
“If I had a black light in here…”
“You got issues, Quill…”
Dammit, should have said Joe instead of Quill…
“most incredible woman in the world”
Awwwwwwww, he is SO in love!
Think Happy Tree Friends, Joe.
Alright folks, we found the most horrific thing a web comic can do. This 15 year project is over, SHUT IT ALL DOWN! Good work, see you at the wrap party.
I’m confused what’s horrific about this.
Thank god the comment section is here to remind me that Bob Ross is…someone who exists? Some kind of…famous American paint guy?
You know how Mr. Rogers is iconic for teaching kids how to be kind to others in some kind of otherworldly way? Bob Ross is an ex military dude who said “fuck this” and went on to be like Mr. Rogers level of iconic for teaching viewers how to be kind to themselves via painting with similar etherialism.
After being a sergeant, he promised himself he would never yell again.
Thankfully, all those years in Alaska did at least inform his landscape imagination.
Well known for his iconic permed ‘fro. He chose it because it was cheaper than haircuts.
Being a non-American: No. No I have no idea who Mr Rogers is. Some old dude in a sweater doing Play School stuff?
As a fellow non American who didn’t grow up with Mr Rodgers: a very very kind man who taught kids to be kind to others. Like America’s friendly grandpa, very beloved. Bob Ross was also a very kind man who made painting tutorials, most famous for his soothing tone and a philosophy of “no mistakes, just happy accidents” in art. I think his videos are on Netflix but like, also all over YouTube lol. They’re both basically seen as like human Santa Claus or Christlike (as in actually acting how Jesus wanted people to act, not like Joyce’s hometowns version of “Christlike”). That’s probably the most universal way I can describe it
+
Imagine a YouTube channel of painting tutorials done by someone who makes you feel better about life even if you’re not interested in painting.
The dude could say “the draft fucking sucks, and the United States sucks for having it” and it’d be calming.
There are multiple YouTube channels where I’ve watched them even though I either wasn’t particularly interested in the details of the topic or it went way over my head. But the creator was just so good and enthusiastic that it felt wonderful just watching them share their passion.
There’s drama brewing with Joyce and Joe, and I… feel bad for Joe?
Damn, he’s gotten a lot of development since their first date.
Gotta love that “Keep On Truckin'” strut Joe is doing on his way to the showers.
Robert Crumb lives!
One of the masters. An ancient artist, an ancient art form, and an ancient time.
Oh God right, if he didn’t go to the bathroom after helping Joyce out last night mans just been pent up all night
I’ll break the string of comments about what Joe is or isn’t doing in the shower to point to something else: “Most incredible woman in the world.”
Awwww…
LITERALLYYYY joe my friend joe
Joe my best buddy my excellent buddy who deserves the world and happiness and for this relationship to go right instead of horribly wrong ;_;
Right? At this point, it’s not even about my dislike for the Joyrothy ship, it’s just that Joeyce is so fucking charming.
There walks a man who has tasted the fruit of seeing women as “partners” and not just “sex partners”, and he wants more.
Jackin’ it vs blueballs from hell. Been there, jacked it.
I don’t think I’m far off base in saying that, after the last few strips, no one was dying to know about Joe’s erection.
Yeah, but some of us are happy to know.
Not in the communal shower Joe! That’s how you end up on a list!
I just don’t think that’s true. Like, how would they even prove you were doing that? No one can see him unless they open the individual stall door and I assume he’s either not surrounded by crowds just waiting to peek in OR stupid enough to loudly shout “I’m cumming” to the general population.
Jerking it does create noise, sometimes it can be difficult to keep the noise level down especially when you are close.
IMO there’s nothing wrong with cranking one out in the communal showers if a) you have no other option, b) you know that nobody can hear you, and c) you make sure absolutely everything gets cleaned up. But really, Joe, come on, just wait for Danny to go to class or something.
Yes, I’ve masturbated before lol thank you for explaining. My point is still that what he’s doing isn’t something that lands you on a list, and I genuinely don’t know why people are being so odd about it.
Touching yourself in a public place does land you on a list in most states. This would include public bathrooms. You’d probably need to dig in to case law to see whether a shared dorm shower counts as a “public place”. If someone got offended by it, they could definitely cause some consequences to Joe.
More importantly though, it would be mortally embarrassing.
If it counts as that kind of place, then I think you’d find he’s already in trouble for being naked in there. It’s a private stall, people need to stop clutching their pearls.
I have some news you may not want to hear about a common use of the showers in the men’s dormitory, because when your alternative is “hope your roommate and you don’t have classes at the same time AND that he’s predictable in when he comes back to the room”, the communal shower is the place you are LEAST likely to get caught/bother anyone.
Hell, Joe’s got a DOOR. We had SHOWER CURTAINS.
I really hope this is a joke and that you do not actually think there are or should be lists of people who masturbate in dorm showers.
This has to be the best Joe redemption arc. Man went from sex pest to pent up himbo boyfriend in 6 month (canonically). I hope he remains growing and getting better and awesome
I’m so curious about where this all can go, especially for Joe. If Joyce leaves him for Dotty, will he be understanding, or bitter, or just sad, or a mix of all 3? Will he take it gracefully or will it get ugly, or worse will he suggest poly between them? If Joyce chooses him and he finds out about her feelings with Dotty, how will that affect him? He knows Dotty’s feelings but seemed okay about them, not protective, which is a massive green flag, but will that stay or does he just feel confident in himself and have that get cracked? I really hope for the best with Joe, whether it’s with Joyce or not.
Before anyone asks, poly itself isn’t bad, but he should definitely not be the one to suggest it, even if it’s just wholeheartedly thinking of Joyce because it will always look like he’s trying to find a reason to get with more women due to his reputation. Plus that would be a lot for Joyce, what with all that’s happened in the last several months and her coming to terms with her faith, and now her sexuality, she needs time to let everything settle before even thinking about the complexity that is a poly relationship.
Nahhh, it’s called Dumbing of Age, not Smarting of Age! I can see Joyce giving poly a try.
And I don’t think any romantic permutation of our characters ever has Joe/Dorothy as a possibility, so I wouldn’t worry about him looking like he’s just trying to get more chicks lol
It’s nice to see that Joe has erected a “branch office”, as it were…
Willis please don’t have Joyce break Joe’s heart. Please please please
Ah yes, the terrible dilemma of living in the dorms and not being able to masturbate.
I’ve never lived in a dorm but I’ve always shared living space with someone, and it’s really not that difficult to find an open window for crankin’ it. There are usable places everywhere.
Yeah, but sometimes the stars misalign and an opportunity doesn’t present itself for a few days.
I almost choked. Take your fucking fake internet points and get out
If they ever get to do the deed, Joe and Joyce are going to need at least a weekend to recover.
It seems pretty clear from looking at the shower construction that their walls go to the floor and therefore do not have communal drains.
Perhaps a little known fact – there is a placard on the wall in the Medical Center on Fairchild AFB announcing that Bob Ross used to work there, possibly because nobody else famous ever did. He worked in the medical records section, which is both very important and mind-numbingly boring, and apparently decided after leaving the Air Force that he would never act like a master sergeant (which can sometimes mean being loud and abrasive) ever again.