Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

Extolling

by David M Willis on November 25, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Pajama Jeans
└ Tags: chick-fil-a, ethan, mike

Discussion (217) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. JackNapier
    JackNapier
    November 25, 2011 at 12:01 am | #

    That’ll show ’em?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

      No it won’t but since he figures that the whole world is against him anyhow, he is basically saying “Bugger it, I don’t give a toss anymore, I WANT CHICKAN!”

      • Osaru Sensei
        Osaru Sensei
        November 25, 2011 at 8:58 am | #

        … he wansts molestation? O_o

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 25, 2011 at 6:11 pm | #

          But that is a long way to go to score some chikan action.

          • fellixe
            fellixe
            November 26, 2011 at 8:36 pm | #

            I don’t know about molestation. If he were to get kinky he might want to try choking the CHIKAN.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              November 27, 2011 at 2:51 am | #

              *RIMSHOT*

              • saturnwonder
                saturnwonder
                November 27, 2011 at 11:13 am | #

                There’s no noise! ;-;

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  November 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm | #

                  I tested it and it works where I am, not sure why it doesn’t at your end.

              • fellixe
                fellixe
                November 27, 2011 at 4:27 pm | #

                Thank you, thank you. Please tip your servers, but not too far or everything will slide off their trays.

    • Mikehatesyou
      Mikehatesyou
      February 14, 2012 at 7:06 am | #

      Who said they hate him?

  2. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    November 25, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    because suspiciously specific denials mean nothing, i believe this will work

  3. Swissaboo
    Swissaboo
    November 25, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    JESUS AND VAGINAS FUCK YEAH

    • MichaelHaneline
      MichaelHaneline
      November 25, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

      This needs to be on a shirt.

    • KresyAntics
      KresyAntics
      November 25, 2011 at 12:56 am | #

      Even better Jesus hearts vagina’s with the heart drawn in way to resemble a vagina 😀

      • Xalticus
        Xalticus
        November 25, 2011 at 2:05 am | #

        Would that be something like Acute Angina?

        • Fonzelot
          Fonzelot
          November 25, 2011 at 7:07 am | #

          http://instantrimshot.com/

  4. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    November 25, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    I see in the future, an argument with Joe on the awesomeness of vaginas or Joyce crying because another potential husband is a dud.

    • Boringamus
      Boringamus
      November 25, 2011 at 6:34 pm | #

      I remember her taking a shine to him when they first met on the elevator.
      It’s pretty much inevitable. ^_^

  5. iSaidCandleja-
    iSaidCandleja-
    November 25, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Extolling the virtues of vaginas might have unintended effects on people’s appetites.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      It depends, do they sell clams at CFA?

    • Andre
      Andre
      November 25, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      Depends on what they are hungry for…

  6. rjaco321
    rjaco321
    November 25, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    and another thing, those restaurants are franchised. the managers/employees at your local chic fil a may love gay people, or may not have strong feelings about the politics of the company because hey, its a job at a restaurant.

    • Marr
      Marr
      November 25, 2011 at 5:13 am | #

      I’m guessing even if they do like/love gay people they are highly encouraged not to considering Chik-Fil-A’s owners are highly religious to the point they refuse to open on Sundays even in malls. Much like Hobby Lobby they expect their employees to spend the day with their faith of their choice as long as that faith observes the Sabbath on Sunday.

      • David
        David M Willis
        November 25, 2011 at 9:52 am | #

        Not opening on Sundays is actually a cunning business plan. I am absolutely sure of it. If there’s a day that you CAN’T eat at Chick-Fil-A, then obviously you are going to want it more.

        And it totally works.

        On me.

        All the time.

        So, well-played, Chick-Fil-A! Your delicious chicken wins yet again.

        • Seerow
          Seerow
          November 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm | #

          /signed

          I hate it when it’s Sunday and I can’t go to Chik-Fil-A, so I go twice as often during the week to make up for it when I can.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 25, 2011 at 6:15 pm | #

          Over here for some reason a lot of local chicken takeaway shops close on Monday instead.

          • Brendan
            Brendan
            November 27, 2011 at 8:39 pm | #

            A lot of restaurants close on Monday, since that’s the day people are least likely to eat out. Not sure why it’s more so than Tuesday or Wednesday, but it is.

        • Chrisby
          Chrisby
          November 25, 2011 at 9:36 pm | #

          Exactly. It’s the “Cartmanland Strategy.” People will want something more when they can’t have it.

          So when they re-open on Monday people will come in droves.

        • fellixe
          fellixe
          November 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm | #

          There’s a Seventh Day Adventist family owned yogurt shop out my way closed on Saturdays in a building with a 24 Hour Fitness. They seem to do well even though that would seem like a prime selling time.

      • JetstreamGW
        JetstreamGW
        August 9, 2014 at 4:13 pm | #

        According to accounts from the guy who actually started the restaurant (if the internet is to be believed) the only real reason Chick-Fil-A closes on Sunday is cuz the original dude was running it himself, he was tired and he didn’t friggin’ wanna work seven days a week 😛 And he figured his employees would appreciate a guaranteed day off, too.

        It’s his wife that added the Christian spin to it.

  7. Milosh
    Milosh
    November 25, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Good decision Ethan. Besides, every time you buy anything, you don’t know whose pocket that money will indirectly end up in. Just because a company doesn’t have an explicitly anti-gay stance doesn’t mean they can’t have lots of anti-gay employees. I say, if it’s tasty, eat it.

    • Valerie
      Valerie
      November 25, 2011 at 2:41 am | #

      That’s basically how I feel about it. I work at Target, and they donated a lot to the Prop 8 thing, but that doesn’t mean the majority of people who are being paid for your patronage are anti-gay. By not shopping there, you’re really just hurting them, ’cause the big guys are gonna be able to eat either way.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 25, 2011 at 3:13 am | #

        Target just can’t seem to win, can they? If they’re not annoying the left with Prop 8 and the like, they’re annoying the right by having their employees say “happy holidays.”

        • G127
          G127
          November 25, 2011 at 3:42 am | #

          I don’t understand why a company would donate money for prop 8. I wouldn’t understand it if they donated against either… How would that result in more profit?

          Why don’t the owners of the company donate themselves, if they are so morally outraged? Why use you’re company and lose potential clients. (of course with killer-chicken you don’t have to worrie about that.)

          • Khrene Cleaver
            Khrene Cleaver
            November 27, 2011 at 3:48 pm | #

            There could be a possibility of log rolling action going on where the company’s executives could have some form incentive to donate to either cause like if bill had something completely unrelated to Prop 8 on it and the benefits from that secondary effect would outweigh potential lose of customer which wouldn’t be too bad since most people who shop at target shop there due to price/convenience rather than the company’s morals. Otherwise Wal-Mart would be out of buiness with all the bad press they get.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 25, 2011 at 7:31 am | #

        Actually, after doing a little googling, it looks like it was actually Target employees who donated to support Prop 8, and not the corporation, and not using corporate funds.

        • Khrene Cleaver
          Khrene Cleaver
          November 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm | #

          Thats a much less complicated answer than mines above.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        November 26, 2011 at 2:57 am | #

        I was going to say, are you sure? ’cause they would stock very obviously gay-friendly merchandise, like children’s books about having two mommies and that.

    • gangler
      gangler
      November 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm | #

      Surely you understand the difference between giving someone some cash, without knowledge of how it will be spent, and giving cash to the guy who’s explicitly saying it will be used for a certain purpose.

      If I give my buddy some cash so to chip in for his new gaming rig, electronics store employee takes his commission from the purchase and buys a gun that he will later use to off my sister, that’s a twist of fate. If my same buddy says to me “Mind spotting me some cash so I can kill your sister? There’s a cheeseburger in it for you.” and I still give him the money, well now I feel safe in saying I bear some amount of responsibility for the events that follow.

      In capitalism your dollar is your voice. To dismiss the value of that voice simply because “Who know’s what’ll happen after I spend?” is no less grievous offense than to dismiss that value of voting because you never really know what the guy’s actually gonna do once he’s in office. Sure, maybe they’ll surprise you with some nasty character deficits. Sure, maybe they’ll end up supporting people and groups you don’t approve of. That hardly means you just start checking boxes off at random without regard for what is known about each candidate.

  8. Inara
    Inara
    November 25, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    I kind of want to go into a Chick-Fil-A and do this now…except I’m a girl, so…probably not quite the intended effect.

    • John
      John
      November 25, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

      That would just make it better, IMAO.

      • JnZooger
        JnZooger
        November 25, 2011 at 12:48 am | #

        In my ample opinion?

        • Tristan J
          Tristan J
          November 25, 2011 at 12:53 am | #

          In my amazing opinion? In my accurate opinion?

          • Semysane
            Semysane
            November 25, 2011 at 12:57 am | #

            In my ass off?

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            November 25, 2011 at 12:57 am | #

            In my aroused opinion.

            • Tristan J
              Tristan J
              November 25, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

              We have a winner! Plasma, tell shkler what shklee won.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                November 25, 2011 at 2:32 am | #

                A free set of steak-knifes, last found in the back of the GLBT community!

                YAAAAY!

                • TemplarKnight
                  TemplarKnight
                  November 25, 2011 at 2:40 am | #

                  In My Asinine Opinion?

        • John
          John
          November 25, 2011 at 1:57 am | #

          “Arrogant”. Opinions are, by nature, not Humble.

          • MacaroniPterodactyl
            MacaroniPterodactyl
            November 26, 2011 at 2:15 am | #

            But not being humble doesn’t automatically make you arrogant. Just like most dualities, there’s actually a third option, neither.

            • Rex Hondo
              Rex Hondo
              November 26, 2011 at 5:26 am | #

              In my aloof opinion?

              • Michelle J Caboose
                Michelle J Caboose
                November 26, 2011 at 12:26 pm | #

                In my apathetic opinion?

                • fellixe
                  fellixe
                  November 26, 2011 at 8:43 pm | #

                  In my apropos opinion.

                • Twentydragon
                  Twentydragon
                  November 28, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

                  In my aphrodisiacal opinion?

                • Usayasha
                  Usayasha
                  December 16, 2011 at 6:50 pm | #

                  In my aunt’s opinion?

  9. Joe
    Joe
    November 25, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    Kinda agree with Ethan, here.
    The small losses are more frustrating than the big ones. You can at least try to prepare for the big ones.

  10. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    November 25, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

    I laughed at ‘Just from being gay, I’ve lost my GIRLFRIEND’.

    I mean, I understand the context, but it still amused me.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 12:40 am | #

      It seems strange that he sounds like he still wants to marry a girl and have kids with her despite the fact he likes the taste of ‘beef’ over ‘fish’.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 25, 2011 at 12:59 am | #

        I thought the accepted food euphemism was “pork.”

        We would have also accepted “he prefers hot dogs to tacos.”

        • fellixe
          fellixe
          November 25, 2011 at 1:21 am | #

          Or sausage over clams

        • Skye McCloud
          Skye McCloud
          November 25, 2011 at 7:49 am | #

          It wouldn’t have worked as well, since I’m pretty sure Ethan has a love of non-euphemism tacos, which would’ve made it all the more confusing.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 26, 2011 at 5:27 am | #

          Pork as a euphemism is usually a verb as in ‘to pork her senseless’.

          I have used the term pork-sword before, maybe that is what you were thinking of.

      • Spirit
        Spirit
        November 25, 2011 at 3:47 am | #

        I don’t find it that odd, actually. He’s probably spent the majority of his life believing that he was going to grow up, get married, and have kids. Now those are things that he can’t really have without compromising who he is (I’m a bit fuzzy on the state marriage laws but I’m guessing he’s not in one that allows gay marriage). Also just because he realized he wasn’t sexually attracted to women doesn’t necessarily mean that it didn’t hurt to lose a girlfriend over it. I mean, breakups suck no matter what.

        • Tristan J
          Tristan J
          November 25, 2011 at 8:33 am | #

          Oh, I get all that.

          I’m just laughing at the thought of someone coming out of the closet and then being disgruntled by the thought that they can’t be turned on by women anymore.

          Like, imagine a guy with a serious jock voice going, “Man, Becky broke up with me just because I told her I’m gay. What a punch in the balls.”

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        November 25, 2011 at 8:27 am | #

        He just said he wants to marry and have kids. That doesn’t, inherently, require a girl.

        However, it does require either living in a state that has SSM (is Indiana among them?) and allows same sex couples to adopt (same question)…or marrying a woman he doesn’t particularly want to marry just so he can get the marriage and kids that he wants.

        • Jon
          Jon
          November 25, 2011 at 11:56 am | #

          I just thought he meant that he really did care for/about his girlfriend, and he hates that his homosexuality gets in the way of them having a relationship of that nature

          • quietdevious1
            quietdevious1
            November 25, 2011 at 9:53 pm | #

            Yeah, I took it to mean that he feels he lost a close friend, not just a girlfriend, or at least he feels there’s a wall between them now. Did we ever find out who his girlfriend was? I thought it might have been Amber, because of their conversation when they were having lunch. There’s definitely some awkwardness between them now.

            BTW, I have boarded the Mike x Ethan ship

        • Random832
          Random832
          November 25, 2011 at 4:54 pm | #

          “is Indiana among them?” If you knew anything about Indiana, you would not be asking that question. Remember that diagram Robin drew of her district? That’s more or less typical of the state.

        • David
          David
          November 27, 2011 at 1:55 pm | #

          “marrying a woman he doesn’t particularly want to marry”
          It really bugs me that people equate sexual attraction with romantic interest. (No, it isn’t the same thing.)

          I know I’m in the minority with my opinion on that subject, but it hits home to me. I have sexual attractions exclusively toward men, but I’m happily married to a woman with two children. I understand having unwanted sexual attraction, but the fact is, a homosexual lifestyle is a choice. (I’m not passing judgement- If two men are in a healthy marriage, more power to them. I just get tired of hearing ridiculous arguments on all sides.)

          I don’t know what “anti-gay agenda” refers to in this strip, but people need to stop equating any opposition of LGBT with bigotry. There are enough bigots out there it’s not worth it to add decent people to the count. I know it doesn’t often seem like it, but it really /is/ possible to disagree with someone without treating them like dirt.

          Well… this was only tangentially related to the strip… sorry for the rant. I get worked up too easily these days. T.T

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            November 27, 2011 at 11:33 pm | #

            Good for you. Seriously, no sarcasm. A couple of my wife’s old friends are a similar couple. She’s bi, he’s gay, except for his wife. I don’t get how that works, but I don’t need to. It works for them, and that’s all that matters.
            On the other hand, anybody who opposes a group of people without any rational reason is, by definition, a bigot. There is no rational or logical reason to not allow gay marriage.

            • David
              David
              November 28, 2011 at 5:36 pm | #

              I agree with you, but you have to understand- these people do think they have a rational reason- usually because they either believe it’s unhealthy or immoral. I don’t have any patience for someone who mistreats or sees himself as superior to others because of their sexual preferences, but not everyone who opposes gay marriage (or homosexual activity in general- I’ve known plenty of people who don’t see marriage as the issue, and either don’t care, or support it, because their issue is entirely about sexual activity) is like that.

              Someone saying they don’t think a man should have a romantic/sexual relationship with another man isn’t the same thing as treating a gay man like dirt because of his sexual preferences. I’m all for people having opinions, even if I disagree with them, so long as they treat others with respect. I’ll fight for LGBT and debate the issue very fiercely, but we need to stop lumping in decent people who happen to disagree with us with idiots like the Westboro Baptist church.

              • ble.d_out.colo.r
                ble.d_out.colo.r
                November 29, 2011 at 7:14 am | #

                It’s true that people can disagree without causing harm to the gays. But someone doesn’t have to beat you up or use the word “faggot” to hurt LGBT people. They are denying us equal rights. To me thats bigoted enough. It also doesn’t make it ok because they believe its right. Al-Queda believed they were doing Allah’s will on 9/11. They still killed people.

              • ble.d_out.colo.r
                ble.d_out.colo.r
                November 29, 2011 at 7:27 am | #

                Also I am glad that you are happily married, but please don’t generalize being gay as being a choice. In your experience it may be, but there is a difference in choosing to repress sexual attraction and choosing your sexuality. That is the same time of thinking that warrants ideologies that are similar to that of *blegh* Exodus international. And the ex-gay philosophy disgusts me. All it does is hurt people by creating a lie. The “ex-gays” that are converted usually realize they screwed up, but by that time a woman is in love w/ them and they have to explain it to the kids. It should be illegal. Anyways ignore my ex-gay tangent haha >.<. I'm not saying that's what you are even, I just cringed at the generalization that you can choose your sexuality, and even if you meant that you can't choose that aspect so much as you can refuse to follow it and bang some pussy it still isnt right to tell people to ignore who they are. And I'm not saying that was your intention either haha…I just wanted to clarify the message, again for any confused youth that may read this. And yes I do have an ardent activist in meh haha, I can't help it though what with the LGBT suicides this year. But, I digress. Sorry for the double post and congrats on your happy (and hopefully continuously happy) marriage. Just don't feel like you have to live a lie ;).

                • David
                  David
                  November 29, 2011 at 8:55 am | #

                  I think you misunderstood me. :/ I’m doubtful that anyone (well, I’m sure some can, but I have a hard time believing it’s not a very small minority) can actually choose who they’re attracted to. I’m not attracted to women at all, except for finding slight sexual attraction toward my wife that developed only after years of marriage. I’m not living a lie by being with her (That’s far more offensive implication than yelling “fag” in my face ever was). I only meant that yes, it is completely within someone’s power to choose not to live a homosexual lifestyle if they have unwanted attractions. (That isn’t what I did- I actually never imagined I would marry a woman rather than a man.) Nor am I claiming they should, of course- but there are plenty of people with homosexual attractions who don’t act on them because of their moral beliefs or simply because they want to avoid the problems society brings on because of it, and they certainly aren’t ‘living a lie’ by choosing not to pursue them.

                  Like I said, I agree with you wholeheartedly about people trying to restrict the rights of others (though I understand the perspectives that don’t see it that way). I also feel very strongly about the problems that have arisen because of the intolerance, but those problems are not the result of people who will respectfully disagree, even if you think they’re idiots to disagree. Many of those who oppose us most strongly simply don’t understand the issue in the first place- and they can be made to understand, if you’re willing to help them. Others will never be made to see reason on the issue, because it’s a part of their religious beliefs, but are otherwise good people who will treat those who disagree with them respectfully. You can’t reasonably compare them to people like Al-Qaeda, no matter how strongly we disagree with them.

              • ble.d_out.colo.r
                ble.d_out.colo.r
                November 30, 2011 at 8:15 am | #

                I’m sorry if I offended you. That was the exact opposite of my intent. I just wanted to maybe get a clarification on what you were saying. And I am glad that you are in a happy marriage, although I must admit that I don’t understand it. But it doesn’t have to make sense to me as long as you are genuinely happy. But that brings up another question, do you regard yourself as ex-gay? Or do you just identify as bisexual or gay but attracted to women in the instance of your wife? This can be a bit of a touchy subject with me simply because my father is constantly trying to tell me that if I got with the right woman I could be straight. And uh, that isn’t happening, for me at least…so that may be why it appeared that I was assaulting your marriage. I wasn’t trying to invalidate it. And I’m sorry if I came off that way.

                Regarding those who disagree with LGBT acts that you have mentioned, I still have to say that if they disagree, and have voting power and vote for an elected official that is going to pass anti-human rights legislation, then they ARE causing harm. Nothing you can do about it. I don’t want to suggest that we should control or censor their thoughts either. Also they aren’t killing people like Al-Queda. I’ll give you that, but I was trying to point out that they do in fact have a commonality between them: that both cause harm with their beliefs, but it doesn’t make it right. The comparison stops there though, as you can’t correlate mass murder with the withholding of human rights due to religious ignorance. Al-Queda had the intent to kill, and that is what makes it worse, whereas voters may not intend to harm people. It may be an issue of not being educated on the matter at hand. But the outcome is still that the majority oppresses a minority, which is sad in this day and age.

                • David
                  David
                  November 30, 2011 at 8:42 am | #

                  I don’t usually identify any particular way unless someone asks. I’m not “ex-gay”, though it might amount to the same thing. I’m still attracted to men (it’s my understanding that the very few success cases of ex-gay groups claim not to have those attractions anymore?), but it just isn’t a part of my life anymore. I don’t consider it a big secret, but people tend not to ask the question to me when I’m with my wife, obviously. I’m not convinced orientation is much more than a social construct anyway- I think human sexuality is a lot more complicated than a trinary switch or a scale.

                  I agree that voting to oppose gay marriage is harmful to society- but that doesn’t justify treating them with any less respect. Remember, most of these people honestly believe they’re doing a social good by voting.

                • ble.d_out.colo.r
                  ble.d_out.colo.r
                  December 1, 2011 at 7:42 am | #

                  I still want my right to marry though T.T

                  But I guess you can’t mind control people or your no better than the ex-gays. Dammit, there goes fifty bucks on that mind control kit I bought off QVC. >.> Curse you David *fistshake*

  11. tdm88
    tdm88
    November 25, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

    Aww poor Ethan it sounds like his coming out was pretty rough.

  12. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 25, 2011 at 12:26 am | #

    That’s it, Ethan, confuse Joyce even further.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 12:31 am | #

      This might result in Joyce trying to ‘save’ him.

      • Marr
        Marr
        November 25, 2011 at 5:15 am | #

        Be interesting if it followed the plot line from Saved as far as the “trying to help him not be gay” goes.

    • Marr
      Marr
      November 25, 2011 at 5:17 am | #

      Why does it look like you stole the head gear from Choda Boy in Orgasmo, and put a condom on it?

  13. Static Air
    Static Air
    November 25, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

    Is it just me, or does it look like Mike is concerned for Ethan in the last panel?

    If so, Mike’s concern has me concerned.

    • MM
      MM
      November 25, 2011 at 1:00 am | #

      I think Mike’s just disappointed he didn’t succeed in putting Ethan off his lunch.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 25, 2011 at 11:15 am | #

      I think his facial expression is exactly the facial expression I would expect of a person saying “Huh.”

      Coincidentally enough.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      November 27, 2011 at 1:35 am | #

      Mike x Ethan OTP

  14. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    November 25, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

    Why not save time and just shout the praises of Vajesus?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 12:58 am | #

      The you will need THIS

      Warning: NSFW

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 25, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

        And I *AM* at work, damn you!!!

      • Zuche
        Zuche
        November 25, 2011 at 1:34 am | #

        Wow. That takes me back to The Second Comeback, with the sales pitch, “Feel the power of the Lord come in unto you.”

        Good ten minute film. Disturbing scene.

    • Tristan J
      Tristan J
      November 25, 2011 at 1:03 am | #

      Man, you’re just on fire today!

  15. Steven
    Steven
    November 25, 2011 at 12:29 am | #

    In this universe is Ethan going to start out gay and eventually realize he’s straight?

    • Seerow
      Seerow
      November 25, 2011 at 3:01 pm | #

      Willis, turn a gay character straight? Inconceivable.

      • Charlie Owens
        Charlie Owens
        November 26, 2011 at 1:02 am | #

        You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  16. Janette
    Janette
    November 25, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

    Actually, Mike, their chicken is.

    • David
      David M Willis
      November 25, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

      I know! It’s totally not fair!

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        November 27, 2011 at 4:38 pm | #

        And where else can you get a chickan sammie, waffle fries, and a Julius all in one stop. It’s like Del Taco where you can get burritos and fries.

  17. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    November 25, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

    If you boycott every company who supports causes you don’t agree with, you might end up living in a wooden shack in the middle of the woods with no running water or electricity, designing bombs…

    • ScytheAkse
      ScytheAkse
      November 25, 2011 at 12:33 am | #

      Lol a fricken men

    • Suzushiiro
      Suzushiiro
      November 25, 2011 at 11:26 am | #

      Yeah, there’s just about no such thing as a big corporation that doesn’t do something at least somewhat douche-ey, either with its profits, to its employees/suppliers, or directly to its customers. Choosing where you throw your money based on morals is frequently a “lesser of x evils” situation- do you buy from Chick-Fil-A and support anti-gay causes, or do you buy from McDonalds and support all the shitty things Fast Food Nation talked about that I can’t even remember because the sociology class I read parts of it in was six years ago?

      • gangler
        gangler
        November 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm | #

        So is voting.

  18. Lee
    Lee
    November 25, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

    … I saw this strip in my RSS feed and wondered momentarily why the new Shortpacked page looked so small

    • Michelle J Caboose
      Michelle J Caboose
      November 25, 2011 at 5:30 am | #

      Your Gravatar gives me impure thoughts…

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        November 25, 2011 at 8:24 am | #

        And yours is entirely appropriate for that…

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          November 25, 2011 at 9:42 pm | #

          One does have to admire the inherent simplicity of shipping Joyce/Joyce’s Right Hand.

          • MacaroniPterodactyl
            MacaroniPterodactyl
            November 26, 2011 at 2:19 am | #

            I’m shipping Joyce x Joyce’s Left Hand. The stranger.

            • Rex Hondo
              Rex Hondo
              November 26, 2011 at 6:32 am | #

              Oooh. Naughty, I like… 😛

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              November 27, 2011 at 2:56 am | #

              I ship Joyce’s Right Hand with her Left Hand: PATTYCAKE!

  19. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    November 25, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

    Will Joyce try to extoll the virtues of Jesus and vaginas to Ethan or will she freeze up trying to say the word vagina?

  20. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    November 25, 2011 at 12:47 am | #

    Right there with ya, Ethan. I love the food at Chick-fil-A and Cracker Barrel, despite my being a gay guy and their company politics being against me… 😛 Sometimes my stomach makes the decisions, tho’.

  21. NopeNopeNope
    NopeNopeNope
    November 25, 2011 at 12:51 am | #

    This comic made me sad

    • Cyth
      Cyth
      November 25, 2011 at 1:42 am | #

      Me too. That kind of self-loathing just makes me want to give him a nice big hug. 🙁

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        November 25, 2011 at 11:19 am | #

        He doesn’t loathe himself. He loathes the bigoted Jesus people what their perniciously evil ways have done to his life. There is a difference.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          November 25, 2011 at 11:39 am | #

          “and what their”

          Gah typos aargh.

        • Aydr
          Aydr
          November 26, 2011 at 4:03 pm | #

          This is pretty self-loathing right here. Is that how he really feels about himself? Doubtful. But he’s doing some pretty serious self-loathing here.

  22. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    November 25, 2011 at 1:05 am | #

    Actually, there’s a very simple solution. Whatever you spend at Chik-Fil-A, spend the same amount at someplace gay-friendly, preferably a little local place owned by a nice same-sex couple. (spending locally is always a plus.) That way, you can offset what I’m going to officially start calling your “bigot footprint.”

    There! Catchy term coined and problem solved!

    • Mancuso
      Mancuso
      November 25, 2011 at 6:13 am | #

      Here I was thinking “Jesus & Vaginas” had made my day, but “Bigot Footprint”? It’s friggin T-shirt day today!!!

    • Darkflame
      Darkflame
      November 25, 2011 at 9:30 am | #

      Not bad.
      Better then I was thinking which was to start a big campgagn to “gay up” chick-fil-a, getting as many gay people visiting as many branchs as possible. Transgender etc too (Chicks-a-fella….)

      • ble.d_out.colo.r
        ble.d_out.colo.r
        December 1, 2011 at 7:49 am | #

        If you are gonna gay it up you should pronounce it as follows

        Chicks-a-fellaaaaAAAYYYYYY (gurrrrrl is optional.)

        I actually had chicks, and a gay dude, at my high school that used the phrase “haaay gurrrl” like I use…well expletives >.>. I almost dug out my bongo-slapping apparatus to deliver some serious FAAAAAAACCCEEE slapping, but the battery was dead. I was sad. True story.

  23. Rob
    Rob
    November 25, 2011 at 2:08 am | #

    For just a moment, I thought the sound effect for Ethan eating his sandwich was “SNARF.” That was a happy moment.

    • Skye McCloud
      Skye McCloud
      November 25, 2011 at 7:53 am | #

      Rob, what’re you doing, snarf snarf?!

      *is shot*

  24. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    November 25, 2011 at 2:47 am | #

    Yeah, when I found out and started boycotting Chik-Fil-A, I literally lost nothing. I think I can count the number of times I’ve been to CFA on one hand. I was never a big fan, so when I gave it up, it was along the same lines as me giving up hookers and blow. Because it is easy to give up, I’m easily giving it up. If it were my favorite place to go, I don’t know how that would go.

    Then again, I’m sure by mere substitution, I could give up any fast food restaurant, just so long as they didn’t ALL betray me(and by me, I mean my stance on social issues).

    • Marr
      Marr
      November 25, 2011 at 5:19 am | #

      I have been close to giving up on both Wendy’s and Burger King because I take a strong stance on my Fries. No Peels and I liked Burger King’s better when they weren’t fat, and soggy.

    • Mancuso
      Mancuso
      November 25, 2011 at 6:15 am | #

      I wasn’t aware that hookers and coke dealers had homophobic agendas too. Damn, the world is much more complicated than I thought…

  25. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    November 25, 2011 at 2:51 am | #

    Agree that his term…’cost me my girlfriend’ is self evident, the loss of children not so much. I have some gay aquaintances and I find that they are like straights in outlooks on families. Some gays want kids and some don’t, same as straights. The difference being in the way they have to go about getting them, thru adoption or insemination. Ethan has a chance to be a father if thats what he really wants. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’s possible.

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      November 25, 2011 at 3:27 am | #

      He did say ‘likelihood,’ though, which is probably accurate. It’s possible, but both hiring a surrogate and adopting a child are prohibitively expensive.

      • Gallstone
        Gallstone
        November 25, 2011 at 9:21 am | #

        He could make a private arrangement with a lesbian woman who wants children as well, perhaps? I am merely suggesting this as an option; neither one should expect the other to want them to change their sexual orientation for them, and they would be clear on what they both want out of the arrangement.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          November 25, 2011 at 11:21 am | #

          And then a year and a half later you get an entertaining custody battle! Fun for the whole non-family!

        • Aydr
          Aydr
          November 27, 2011 at 1:49 am | #

          Yeahhhh, can’t say I think much of that solution. No offense, but that doesn’t sound like a great plan.

          He’s definitely much less likely to have kids as a gay man. MUCH less likely. And speaking as a less-than-straight guy myself, it is a depressing thought to realize that you may not get to have kids the old-fashioned way. I’m all for adoption and all, but still.

  26. katzgoboom
    katzgoboom
    November 25, 2011 at 3:07 am | #

    I have never been to Chick-Fil-A and what is this

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      November 25, 2011 at 3:19 am | #

      http://www.chick-fil-a.com/

      In short, dangerously yummy chicken. (YMMV)

      • katzgoboom
        katzgoboom
        November 25, 2011 at 3:30 am | #

        There isn’t even one in my state ; A;

        And I’ve been really craving fried chicken for a week, too ; A;

        • Compass
          Compass
          November 25, 2011 at 4:16 am | #

          You are missing out, my friend. It is really good.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            November 25, 2011 at 11:40 am | #

            And simultaneously evil!

            • MacaroniPterodactyl
              MacaroniPterodactyl
              November 26, 2011 at 2:23 am | #

              It’s not that good. I’d rank it as the fourth best Fried Chicken Fast Food Restaurant out there and that’s because I can only thinkg of four right now. For me the breakdown goes as follows:

              1. Popeye’s
              2. KFC
              3. Church’s
              4. Chic-Fil-A

              • katzgoboom
                katzgoboom
                November 26, 2011 at 7:52 pm | #

                Well at least Washington has all of those other places…

              • Karishi
                Karishi
                November 27, 2011 at 6:25 pm | #

                Popeye’s isn’t a very consistent franchise. A decent number of Popeye’s places will make you seriously sick, yo.
                I prefer Gladys Knight’s Chicken & Waffles.
                That’s right. CHICKEN AND WAFFLES.

  27. JustShy
    JustShy
    November 25, 2011 at 5:41 am | #

    Vaginas are pretty virtuous.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      November 25, 2011 at 7:21 am | #

      I don’t know about virtuous, but they are must certainly righteous! Party on!! *Air Guitar*

      • Wackd
        Wackd
        November 25, 2011 at 11:03 am | #

        Be excellent to one another.

        • Boringamus
          Boringamus
          November 27, 2011 at 1:03 pm | #

          I think it says something about me that the first thing I thought when I read this was “NO! It’s ‘Be excellent to each other’! You messed it up! 🙁 “

          • fellixe
            fellixe
            November 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm | #

            And PARTY ON, dudes! *Tips stovepipe hat*

  28. ADHadh
    ADHadh
    November 25, 2011 at 6:03 am | #

    AMEN.

  29. McGruff the Crime Dog
    McGruff the Crime Dog
    November 25, 2011 at 7:36 am | #

    Haha! Oh Ethan, you so gay.
    badum tish

    • ble.d_out.colo.r
      ble.d_out.colo.r
      December 1, 2011 at 7:51 am | #

      *Batting Tush*

      Fixed.

  30. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    November 25, 2011 at 7:56 am | #

    Holy crap, he just inhaled that sandwhich … while talking too

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 27, 2011 at 3:41 pm | #

      Skills like that would make him pretty popular in certain gay circkes.

  31. Gallstone
    Gallstone
    November 25, 2011 at 9:18 am | #

    *sigh* If he has such hate for these chicken-thing-a-whatsit people, why not just order his food while extrolling what he really believes in, and then tell them they have to serve him anyway so long as he pays?
    Though it’d be wise to do that only after they’ve actually served him; food with hate spit is no good.
    Oh, that must be it: he’s going to act like a crazed fundamentalist and be all passive-aggressive instead of standing up for himself. That’s just super.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 25, 2011 at 11:26 am | #

      Talking out loud about vaginas is not a good impersonation of most of the crazed fundamentalists *I* know.

      And, unless I’m a little confused about legal policies, they don’t actually have to accept his money if they don’t want to. Of course it would only make a difference if the people behind the counter were as bigoted as the franchise owners, but then again if the counter-manners weren’t bigoted, Ethan would be railing at people who didn’t deserve it. He just can’t win.

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      November 25, 2011 at 5:19 pm | #

      The issue isn’t that the bigots don’t want to serve him. The company want to serve as many people as possible, so they can get as much money as possible, but some of the money goes to promote bigotry.

  32. Kelvin
    Kelvin
    November 25, 2011 at 9:44 am | #

    Ethan doesn’t need a girl to get married and have kids. I DO think this would be an interesting time for a storyline about Joyce swooping in and trying to convert Ethan. Not so Ethan can be converted, mind you. But so Joyce can learn about the virtues of being gay. We might even wind up with a BISEXUAL Joyce now that she’s mingling with the shortpacked characters. XD

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 25, 2011 at 11:45 am | #

      I’m not sure Ethan is the best advertisement for the virtues of being gay. Then again, I don’t know that there are virtues of being gay, aside from “I can get aroused by that person there” – which is pretty well matched by the heterosexual virtue “I can get aroused by that other person over there.” Unless there’s something I’m missing, in the misguided state of my unfortunate straightness?

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 25, 2011 at 9:46 pm | #

        Well, we know for sure that he doesn’t have the (stereo)typically gay virtues of fasion sense or interior design and decoration. Although, depending on who you ask, the utter impossibility of accidental pregnancy could be seen as a virtue, as well.

        • Kelvin
          Kelvin
          November 26, 2011 at 10:05 am | #

          XD Please, let me rephrase. By ‘virtues’ I meant teaching her to be more open-minded about sexuality, an important lesson that the original Joyce took years to learn. 🙂

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            November 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm | #

            When Joyce finds out he’s gay after deciding he’s her future husband, I three-quarters expect her to beat his ass for the betrayal. (The other quarter votes for horrified fleeing.)

            • Kelvin
              Kelvin
              December 2, 2011 at 7:39 pm | #

              Poor Ethan. :O I REALLY hope that doesn’t happen!

  33. Zababcd
    Zababcd
    November 25, 2011 at 11:15 am | #

    I’m not seeing much passionate concern about ‘gay rights’ in the comments here. Everyone’s on the right side, of course, just not passionate. So I guess that’s my job.

    He hasn’t lost ‘so much’ because he’s gay, but because homophobia and prejudice against homosexuals (including his own homophobia and prejudice) pervade the society he lives in – the same homophobia and prejudice supported by Chick-Fil-A. It is disappointing that his refusal to lose anything more to ‘being gay’ is, in fact, funding the means for himself and others like him to suffer in exactly the same way. Although, to be honest, most gay males wouldn’t care about losing their girlfriend, barring loss via death or similar.

    Chick-Fil-A is horribly anti-gay and should not be supported, but this is really only at the corporate level. The Salvation Army, at least the US branch, is often explicitly discriminatory to the point of cruelty toward non-heterosexual people on the local level. They have been known to deny food and shelter to those who won’t renounce their sexuality. See “Boycott the Salvation Army” and similar videos on YouTube. Donate to Goodwill instead, or some other charity. Also not mentioned so far (that I noticed) was Wal-Mart, which is more anti-gay at a corporate level than Target. Here’s a list with some others: http://www.queerty.com/dont-buy-here-10-companies-that-hate-the-gays-20090224/

    Any company that supports anti-gay organisations is an anti-gay organisation. Those who fund the company by purchasing its products are supporting the anti-gay movement on a financial level, perhaps inadvertently. You can assuage your guilt by saying that politics don’t come into it, or that individuals or particular local outlets may not have an anti-gay agenda, or that other companies could have anti-gay individuals or outlets as well, but ultimately doing business with a company like Chick-Fil-A contributes to the financial well-being of the company, and the financial well-being of the company contributes to anti-gay groups. On the other hand, everyone really should be protesting outside the buildings of their local and federal politicians about their anti-gay policies (there are always some in there, even in the most accepting areas), and of course, very few do. I don’t. You shouldn’t argue that it’s not wrong to support Chick-Fil-A and other anti-gay companies by buying there; it is wrong. You should instead accept that you’re not passionate enough about the cause to care. I’m not saying that it makes you people who are saying that you’ll still eat at Chick-Fil-A immoral – however, I will say that maybe you should do some research to see if it makes you change your mind:
    Greatly increased rates of depression and suicide among non-heterosexual people (particularly teenagers),
    increased drug use,
    increased separation from families,
    increased number and intensity of psychological disorders (intensified further in the cases where they are not supported by their family because of their homosexuality),
    alienation from family and/or culture because the culture or family structure has no place for homosexuality,
    increased likelihood of abuse by family members (anti-gay groups would hold that this is the cause of non-heterosexual orientation, not vice-versa) and spouses of the opposite sex in the case of bisexual people and those who have yet to determine their sexuality (again, anti-gay groups would question the identification of cause and effect here, although psychologists almost universally agree that sexual orientation is innate, and not a learned behaviour – and in the past, unsuccessful attempts to change people’s sexual orientation often caused or contributed to major psychological damage).
    Homosexual men who are ‘in the closet’ are significantly more likely to suffer from physical illnesses than their ‘out’ counterparts, suggesting that fear of social rejection could affect physical health through psychological damage.
    About 92% of homosexuals have been subject to some form of assault (including verbal) based on their sexual orientation, and over 24% have been physically attacked specifically because of their sexual orientation.
    Physical, psychological, financial benefits associated with marriage.
    Anti-gay laws concerning parental rights including (but not limited to) adoption, and rights as a partner in legal contexts including financial and medical contexts (including an alarmingly frequent situation in which, after the death of a homosexual person, his or her partner is denied access to the body or, again with alarming frequency, children whom they have raised for many years, because the family of the deceased hold anti-gay sentiment).
    Reduced pay for equal work (comparable to the lower pay received by women for equal work to men; gay men, also, receive less pay for equal work [and with equal or greater qualifications] than the average man. And for gay women it’s compounded).
    Or if you prefer specific examples, Ellen DeGeneres receives a constant stream of hate mail since she came out. And let’s see how far we have to travel to find other affected celebrities: Oprah also received a wave of hate mail (and still receives some from time to time) since her appearance on the episode of ‘Ellen’ in which Ellen came out as lesbian. Ellen’s wife Portia has described her homosexuality as one of many factors contributing to severe anorexia in her past, and as a constant source of fear for much of her life.

    Just keep wading through the research. That was mostly off the top of my head, although I assure you that I’ve found and read through valid sources for each point. There is a lot more material to find if you keep looking. I find that as you read more, you become more and more passionate, and the food at Chick-Fil-A gets less and less delicious.

    • Zababcd
      Zababcd
      November 25, 2011 at 11:21 am | #

      Please forgive the lack of grammar and possibly other mistakes. It’s 3:20 AM here (and, I admit, that makes any observations about the taste of the food at Chick-Fil-A a little disingenuous).

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 25, 2011 at 11:42 am | #

      I note you do not list “responding in webcomic comment areas” as a productive place to spend effort protesting anti-gay bigotry. That may have something to do with the lack of visible passion here.

    • Stormrunner
      Stormrunner
      November 25, 2011 at 12:42 pm | #

      My mother works at a Wal-Mart in Mississippi (coast area) and there are plenty of gay employees there – the managers and the company both know they are gay as well.

      Just because the corporate big wigs are doing anti-gay things does not meant he company as a whole does.

      A Chik-fil-a near me has gay employees as well, and it is well known they are. The same thing there.

      I’m not going to stop eating at Chik-fil-a and stop supporting the employees of every race, sex and creed just because of the people at the top of the line. The employees have to get paid somehow or they lose their jobs and then have no income at all – and since I have been in the no income bracket at one point – it sucks.

    • Icalasari
      Icalasari
      November 25, 2011 at 3:51 pm | #

      To be fair with Walmart, there are many, MANY reasons to boycott them. Throw a dart and you’re likely to hit one of those reasons

      Sadly, I can’t convince my parents to not shop there, so I have to accept products from there

      Also doesn’t help that they keep killing businesses here, making them the only place to get some products (and of course Cross Iron Mills Mall over in Balzac has killed even more business and is too far for me to reach (I’m terrified of driving) which makes Walmart even more needed…)

      …Bloody hell Walmart is holding me hostage >.<

    • GarretSylvar
      GarretSylvar
      November 26, 2011 at 1:09 am | #

      I’m not sure about the US, but in Canada, at least in my city, there has been no problems with the Salvation Army. They’ve helped everyone regardless. So maybe it’s a US only thing. I don’t know. It just sounds really weird considering it’s never happened here.

      • Brendan
        Brendan
        November 26, 2011 at 5:31 am | #

        Oh, sure, they’ll help everyone. But at the same time, they’re not going to employ gays, and the money they make, as well as good causes that incidentally help gays, are going to every anti-gay cause under the sun. There is no “American thing” in the corporate world. Your money is going to anti-gay causes, make no mistake, and not through business as usual – which let’s face it, is sending your money to causes you don’t support no matter what you do – but directly through “charity.”

    • Michelle J Caboose
      Michelle J Caboose
      November 26, 2011 at 10:04 am | #

      “Also not mentioned so far (that I noticed) was Wal-Mart, which is more anti-gay at a corporate level than Target.”

      I clicked on the link you gave, and the worst that was said there about Walmart’s position re: gays was this:
      Wal-Mart does not offer domestic partner benefits except in locations required by law. In addition, while Wal-Mart is the largest retailer of books in the country, it refuses to carry any LGBT-related titles. In 2008, after Christian Conservative groups threatened a boycott, Wal-Mart left the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, with a spokesperson saying the company had decided not “to support or oppose highly controversial issues.”

      Note, however, that many companies don’t “offer domestic partner benefits except in locations required by law.” As for the rest, Walmart has always represented itself as a “family-friendly” store, and has always promoted “Christian values” in its selection of merchandise.

      That said, I work for Walmart, and many times over the past several years, Walmart has stated for the record that the company does not discriminate against the GLBT community in its hiring practices. In fact, Walmart’s policy explicitly states, in writing (and is posted where employees can see it), that it is against company policy for anyone in the company to discriminate against any associate based on the associate’s sexual orientation (perceived or expressed) or gender identity. There is also a section that states that transgendered/transsexual associates cannot be penalized for dressing according to their gender identity. And, yeah, as Stormrunner states, there are a lot of gay/bi/lesbian associates at the store where I work.

      I don’t care for being put in the position to defend Walmart, because a lot of what the company has done in the last 5 years or so is stupid (and exploitative of the workers), and I think the company has been shooting itself in the foot by trying to move away from all the things that made Walmart a force to be reckoned with. On the other hand, I can’t really complain about its attitude toward gays/lesbians/bi’s/transgendered/transsexuals. Those of us who are “differently gendered” (I love that phrase) don’t have to worry about hiding who we are, for fear of losing our jobs. So Walmart doesn’t carry GLBT books, because the company is afraid of losing business from Christian right-wing conservatives. There’s a lot of those people out there, and in this economy Walmart can’t really afford to lose business from their main customer base.

      tl;dr: Walmart may not carry GLBT reading material, but it at least has policies in place to protect its GLBT associates from discrimination.

  34. Jon
    Jon
    November 25, 2011 at 11:52 am | #

    If I may offer a fact on Chick-Fil-A:
    I’ve spoken to a few owners of franchises myself, and the official stance on not opening on Sundays is that they don’t want their employees working all week because they want them to have a day to just rest. For us Christians, yes, that does mean we would get that day off to go to church. They just took the idea of the Sabbath (a day set aside to stop working and rest) and made it a part of their business model.

    • Brendan
      Brendan
      November 26, 2011 at 5:32 am | #

      And they stone the KFC employees.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        November 26, 2011 at 6:38 am | #

        Although, to be fair, most KFC employees I’ve had to deal with have kind of deserved it. Nearly universally bad service at KFC is the main reason the wife and I decided to give Popeyes a try and discovered we liked their chicken better anyway. Then, of course, all the Popeyes in our area shut down because the owner of the franchises wasn’t paying taxes or something… I haven’t had really good chicken in quite a while. 🙁

      • Twentydragon
        Twentydragon
        November 29, 2011 at 4:18 am | #

        Are you sure the KFC employees don’t get stoned on their own?

    • merkury
      merkury
      November 27, 2011 at 9:00 am | #

      Other businesses seem to be able to operate 7 days a week and their employees don’t work every single day.

  35. Derek
    Derek
    November 25, 2011 at 12:15 pm | #

    I don’t agree with you people. EVERY time you buy a product, it DOES count. It’s like voting. When you buy chicken made by anti-gay bigots or shoes made by enslaved children, you’re basically saying “I approve of this product and how it came to be”.

    You as consumers have IMMENSE power, even over huge corporations that seem like they won’t be hurt by you. But keep in mind you (as a consumer) are the only reason these huge corporations can even exist in the first place: with your money and your input. If you start to refuse giving it to them, they will become powerless.

    So I don’t think still buying chicken from those guys while using the excuse “it’s not like MY boycotting them will hurt them” is valid.

    However, like Zababcd above me said, if you still buy their chicken despite knowing this, it’s not because you’re a bad or immoral person; it’s because you don’t feel so strongly about queer rights.

    Personally I try to avoid big retailers like a plague and buy 80% of my things local or second-hand. Call me a hipster if you will, but I’m happy with my choice.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 25, 2011 at 6:05 pm | #

      But unless you can convince A LOT of people to boycott them along with you, it’s not going to do very much.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 25, 2011 at 7:58 pm | #

      We as consumers (the entire class thereof, taken together) have immense power. I as a consumer (singular) have such an infinitesimally tiny amount of individual power that it is functionally no power at all.

      A large organized boycott means something. Disorganized individual boycotts are like unto sneezes powering a sailing vessel.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        November 25, 2011 at 11:13 pm | #

        Well, to be fair, it can have more of an impact than one might realize. As an example, one of the Big Three netwoeks, back in the late 80’s I think it was (I THINK it was NBC but I don’t recall, it was a loooong time ago that I heard this) had an upper level meeting amongst major execs, based solely on ONE SINGLE LETTER they’d received about some show or other.

        ONE LETTER.

        See, the thing is, a lot of people will complain. But few of them actually take the time to sit down, write, and mail actual letters (probably even fewer of them these days; it’s all email and Facebook now). So they calculated, back then, that for every actual letter they received on a given topic, that there were so many thousands of others who felt exactly the same but hadn’t bothered to write. Which meant that every complaint had to be taken seriously.

        So yes, even small actions can have large impacts.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 27, 2011 at 3:50 pm | #

          If the situation in the US is like in Oz, THE LAW requires media agencies like TV, radio and newspaper to take notice of even one complaint.

          The only complaints restaurants and such are legally required to to worry about is OHS and tainted food complaints, where these companies that own those places spend their money is their own business.

          If you want to boycott CFA in a way that might affect them, you need to rally people on facebook and/or twitter.

          • cmglothlin
            cmglothlin
            November 28, 2011 at 12:21 am | #

            Actually, most people already know about Chick-Fil-A’s policies and have chosen to boycott them. Or if not, this comic helped to reach more people.

  36. Clementine
    Clementine
    November 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm | #

    Ah, yes. Today I am reminded why this is one of my favorite comics.

  37. Sili
    Sili
    November 25, 2011 at 2:45 pm | #

    Vaginas, please. Hold the Jesus.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      November 27, 2011 at 1:38 am | #

      Praise God and pass the prophylactics!

  38. dmb
    dmb
    November 25, 2011 at 4:01 pm | #

    Activism’s like an addiction, it takes your life over. (I know this, I’ve been one), I suspect we’re seeing a healthy side of Ethan-he doesn’t want to be defined by a single feature of his personality, and he really doesn’t CARE what some distant, corporate board and founder do.

    IOW Ethan is Ethan, being ‘gay’ is merely an incidental part of the whole, not the defining feature of his life…

    and Mike is still an asshole.

    • Zababcd
      Zababcd
      November 25, 2011 at 8:48 pm | #

      It’s possible to find a balance between obsession and apathy. And I don’t see why refusing to support Chick-fil-A means that Ethan is defining himself by a single feature. Many people who are or are not gay boycott Chick-fil-A because of their anti-gay activities. His sexuality could influence his decision, but it’s not inextricably connected.

      • dmb
        dmb
        November 25, 2011 at 11:27 pm | #

        It’s quite possible that for Ethan, the opportunity loss/gain ratio of refusing to support his favourite fast-food joint because the corporates at the top are douchey-to-the-EXTREEM doesn’t match the benefits he realizes by eating there-i.e. it may be that it’s cheaper than the Caf at school, tastes better, has better hours, and he doesn’t CARE what some distant bunch of corporate troglodytes do, as long as he can have the sandwich he likes at the price he’s willing to pay.

        For some folks “Social consciousness” is a hinderance they refuse to partake in. I knew a fellow who would go hit the Exxon station because it was convenient-nevermind that oil-spill in Alaska, he didn’t care. Same for people going to the BP statoin down the road because it’s on their route and the prices are right-kind of like how people keep going to Wal-Mart, or eating at Chic-Fil-A, it’s not partisanship, they just DON’T CARE.

        (and I got a vibe of Sarcasm from Ethan in the last panel, like maybe he’s going to order more just to piss Mike off…)

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          November 26, 2011 at 7:22 pm | #

          Minor detail: Ethan definitely cares.

          • dmb
            dmb
            November 29, 2011 at 1:49 am | #

            Yeah, but is it that he cares about the subject of Mike’s diatribe, or is it that he’s annoyed by Mike hassling him while he’s eating? Just ’cause you’re “out” doesn’t require you to be an Activist, anymore than being a Christian requires you to agree with Jerry Falwell or Jim Bakker, or being Jewish require you to vote Democrat. where the Conscience Threshold sits, is different from where the stereotype sits. Maybe Ethan’s getting bored with everyone trying to turn him into a stereotype.

            NOT everything is Group=Tribe=Allegiance. Some people are NOT stereotypes to be manipulated by the mass good opinion.

  39. Pier
    Pier
    November 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm | #

    …and then, they make out. >:D

    • Zababcd
      Zababcd
      November 25, 2011 at 10:01 pm | #

      Or Ethan chokes to death on the chicken sandwich which seems larger than his mouth, which he just ate all at once. So fast that he was able to continue talking with a conjunction, indicating a follow-on from the sentence just finished and not just a resumption of conversation after he’s taken the time to eat his food.

      Or both. Mike’s black shirt gives off a sort of homosexual necrophiliac vibe.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      November 25, 2011 at 10:59 pm | #

      Or Mike says “I fucked your sandwich,” and takes off his shirt to reveal a Chik-Fil-A uniform underneath. Hilarity ensues.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 26, 2011 at 5:21 am | #

        “I ordered my chicken sandwich with NO white sauce dammit!”

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          November 26, 2011 at 6:43 am | #

          And now, between this and misunderstandings about pronunciation yesterday, I will never be able to look at their signature dipping sauce without thinking of it as “Chick Filla’ Sauce.”

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            November 29, 2011 at 3:27 pm | #

            I am mentally adding “rargle blargle” to the end of every post of yours I read.

  40. Ter
    Ter
    November 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm | #

    …I must agree. Chick-Fil-A, man. I’ve been trying to mix it up when I go to work and I get some lunch, but I nearly always end up at Chick-Fil-A. The workers know me there. They know I will get a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and them waffle fries.

    $5.09. EVERY TIME. (I get mah coke at Auntie Anne’s.)

  41. TheDarkEricDraven
    TheDarkEricDraven
    November 26, 2011 at 1:12 am | #

    This was the first in a while that made me laugh, and I don’t mean that in a “this is the first GOOD one in a while”. But when I was first reading through the archives(having given up on Shortpacked! around the time of the giant mutant honey bun some time ago) I laughed nearly every strip. This is really fucking hilarious, next to Menage A 3 maybe as my favorite webcomic.Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to loudly extol the virtues of Jesus and vaginas.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm | #

      The bun has not returned. Incidentally.

  42. Anne
    Anne
    November 26, 2011 at 5:43 am | #

    man im kinda curious who was his gf.

    • kater
      kater
      November 26, 2011 at 8:41 am | #

      Amber I’d guess. Since they went to prom together.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      November 26, 2011 at 4:06 pm | #

      What an ironic avatar for that question.

  43. Pat
    Pat
    November 26, 2011 at 11:42 am | #

    There is no reason not to eat the chicken, Ethan. There is a reason not to *buy* any more of them, but there is no reason not to eat it.
    The sandwich itself is not evil. Well, maybe a little evil. For flavor.

  44. Zababcd
    Zababcd
    November 26, 2011 at 9:10 pm | #

    “Kennedy: How’s evil taste?
    Willow: A little chalky.” – Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 7 : Showtime

    (I’ve never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but if you traverse the internet enough you pick things up).

    • Zababcd
      Zababcd
      November 26, 2011 at 9:11 pm | #

      That was meant to be a reply to Pat (Nov 26, 2011, 11:42 am) above.

  45. Aydr
    Aydr
    November 27, 2011 at 12:58 am | #

    I want them to make out now. Willis just makes Mike/Ethan so shippable.

  46. Slipdance
    Slipdance
    November 27, 2011 at 8:57 am | #

    So his self-worth wiped.
    At least he has chicken.

    • Karishi
      Karishi
      November 27, 2011 at 6:34 pm | #

      And it is really good chicken. Also, those pickles. Yum.

  47. Joe H
    Joe H
    November 27, 2011 at 10:41 pm | #

    I don’t worship the guy or nothin, but Jesus was a pretty cool guy (the hippie from the Bible, not the guy they talk about on picket signs).
    And vaginas are awesome.
    Chicken sandwiches are too.
    So, Ethan’s plan sounds really appealing to me.

  48. cmglothlin
    cmglothlin
    November 28, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

    I think this comic made me not like Ethan anymore. Life is just so hard. Especially when you have to do something inconvenient.

    Besides, he didn’t have to be out. Gay men used to marry to straight women just to keep up appearances. Some still do. He’s just complaining about things he chose to give up to live a more genuine life. Who cares that you didn’t want to be gay? It was your choice not to live a lie. Why go back now? I’m over him.

    • ble.d_out.colo.r
      ble.d_out.colo.r
      November 28, 2011 at 5:36 am | #

      That was offensive in so many ways. He shouldn’t HAVE to live a lie. Or get married to a woman to satiate the masses of a dysfunctional society. You don’t have to like him, for that matter it doesn’t matter since he is a comic book character, but the point is that he was courageous TO come out even in this day and age where things are more accepting (in some places).

      So I’m going to assume you are straight and flip it. Who cares that you want to live a more genuine life and be with a partner of the opposite sex? It was your choice not to live a lie too. Everyone just happens to accept it because you can make babies with YOUR happy fun time and because self righteous religious pricks (not that all religious people are, just a majority at least here in the south) happen to advocate for your “lifestyle”.

      Think about how it would make other people feel before you post insensitive comments. Willis has readers of all ages, from teens to people in their 40’s and up, so think about how it could affect a teenager who is trying to come to terms with something as difficult to accept and integral to their identity as their sexuality. Not trying to offend you or start a fight, I’m just saying.

      • Angelicfiend
        Angelicfiend
        November 28, 2011 at 9:48 am | #

        ble.d_out.colo.r, thank you for restoring my faith in humanity

      • cmglothlin
        cmglothlin
        November 29, 2011 at 3:38 am | #

        I didn’t mean at all that he should live a lie and I would never recommend that someone does. But complaining about not fitting norms isn’t going to help. I mean, if it was so important to him that he does, it’s still an option. A terrible, terrible option, but still available.

        In the end, I feel that if a chicken sandwich is worth more than your self-respect then your priorities are way too messed up. Anything worth having is worth sacrifice. I guess I just don’t have patience for complainers.

        I get that you’re not trying to fight. And neither am I. I think for the most part, we have the same opinion, which doesn’t seem to come out in my writing. But I found that a lot of the other comments were very offensive to me. I want to think it was my fault for reading them.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      November 28, 2011 at 1:18 pm | #

      “oh boo-hoo, I have to give up all the happiness and sense of normality I have, and abandon my old idea of a simple, happy future because I didn’t want to live a soulcrushing lie and eschew all hopes of true happiness and being myself.” Oh wait. That sounds like a pretty legitimate reason to be upset.

      Douchebag. (btw, that “choice” you mentioned? How happy do you think those people who have to lie every day to the people closest to them are?)

      • Aydr
        Aydr
        November 28, 2011 at 10:50 pm | #

        Sorry, that was harsh. But seriously- I think the guy is entitled to a little bit of gaynst every once in a while.

        • cmglothlin
          cmglothlin
          November 29, 2011 at 3:53 am | #

          Ha ha ha. Yeah, it is a legitimate reason to be upset, but I hate hearing it over and over. In life, you have to find your own source of happiness. Agonizing over unavailable options is unhealthy and unproductive. I can’t stand it. But mainly because I’ve been there and regretted it later.

          And I didn’t mean that it was a good choice. Just that if he really wanted those ideals, they’re still available. They’re terrible choices, but still available. Either way, I think integrity is way more important than a chicken sandwich.

          Also, I took no offense. Apparently I’m a terrible writer who can’t get his points understood. But thanks for calling me a douchebag.

          • Aydr
            Aydr
            November 29, 2011 at 2:19 pm | #

            When you’ve got something like that on your mind, every once in a while the chicken sandwich is gonna win. The great thing about moments like that is they can just be moments, instead of a mindset. I doubt it’ll last all that long (Maybe he’s gonna meet Drew at Chik-fil-a?)

            • ble.d_out.colo.r
              ble.d_out.colo.r
              November 30, 2011 at 8:21 am | #

              I would die. Of happiness. Maybe in this ‘verse their relationship wouldn’t be as doomed. Ethan is functioning enough in this universe to at least be able to attend college, so maybe his “problem” hasn’t gotten that bad yet. And maybe the same for Drew and his OCD tendencies.

              Make it happen Willis ^.^. Or the yaoi fangirls will find you >..>.

  49. Angelicfiend
    Angelicfiend
    November 28, 2011 at 9:49 am | #

    Ethan, I just want to hug you, you need some pride in your life. I felt the same way you did once 🙁 still my favorite character

  50. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    November 28, 2011 at 2:41 pm | #

    Even better -JESUS’S VAGINA! 8D

    • ble.d_out.colo.r
      ble.d_out.colo.r
      November 28, 2011 at 9:33 pm | #

      For a nickel….wow I’m going to hell >.>.

  51. StClair
    StClair
    November 28, 2011 at 11:59 pm | #

    It is difficult, if not impossible, to live a sinless life in this imperfect world.

    • Twentydragon
      Twentydragon
      November 29, 2011 at 4:26 am | #

      Only been done once, if I recall correctly.

  52. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    January 23, 2012 at 1:19 am | #

    Hm… does mike resemble Johnny Bravo in this strip?

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
rode my bike past where my kid was at camp bike trail was 10 feet from where they were having lunch called his name, louder and louder, eventually other kids got his attention he looked at me like "...who are you?" "...I'm your DAD." i have never before felt so much like i was Stranger Danger
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Alex Jaffe “Alex Jaffe” Alex Jaffe @alexjaffe.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
I was wearing a Batman hat when I walked into Krispy Kreme and the woman behind the counter said “Let me guess”
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Good piece by @jamellebouie.net taking apart JD Vance's reprehensible immigration worldview on the substance. I'd add that JD seems to cast our admission of immigrants purely as an act of benevolence on our part, when of course that's not the story at all www.nytimes.com/2025/07/23/o...
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Dave Kellett @davekellett.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
JOR-EL was a moron
PANEL 1: A man with spiky white hair and cream robes with a gold superman S on his chest, stands next to a blond woman wearing the same outfit. She holds a swaddled baby with a blue pacifier in it’s mouth. The man holds up a glowing green crystal.
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PANEL 3: The man slaps his hand on a metal object next to him, which his wife looks on happily, holding the infant.
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To teach my kids a lesson about socialism, I gave all my kids a list of chores that I thought they could handle, but set their allowances at the same level. 

Then I had the CIA murder me and install a puppet dad.
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Tweet from Variety:
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do you think Mario, Luigi, and the Princesses have, like, existential crises about the baby versions of themselves also just casually being next to them in all the races like I would be having ego death right now, not leaping triumphantly
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Take stock
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
do you think Mario, Luigi, and the Princesses have, like, existential crises about the baby versions of themselves also just casually being next to them in all the races like I would be having ego death right now, not leaping triumphantly
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
y'know not sure I trust the impartiality of a race track that has a giant statue of one of the guys I'm racing against
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
For July's first bonus strip, folks voted for DEXTER and MONKEY MASTER! For world domination! Read this bonus strip and hundreds of previous at the Dumbing of Age Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-... and remember you can always pledge up to read tomorrow's strip 👀
dexter and monkey master decline, apparently, to take over the world
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emotion-engine.bsky.social's user avatar
The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Good news for the people still circulating this post: it is now a real t-shirt you can purchase and wear to let the world know you take responsibility for the actions of fictional characters:
emotion-engine.bsky.social's user avatarThe Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Normally I’d let this sort of thing just die out but an alarming amount of you have asked where you can buy this and my wife had to have an emergency surgery the day before I made this, so here is my chance to live the American Dream (selling print-on-demand shirts to pay down medical debt)
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goronamber.bsky.social's user avatar
amber @goronamber.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
I just wanna post this in the comments bsky.app/profile/emot...
emotion-engine.bsky.social's user avatarThe Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 13d
Working on a t-shirt to sell to the weird people that show up in your mentions every time you talk about enjoying something that has crime or impure thought in it.
A stock photo of a man holding a phone wearing a shirt that says “I PERSONALLY ENDORSE EVERY BAD THING IN THE MEDIA I WATCH. MAY THEIR CRIMES ONE DAY BE MY OWN”
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generaltekno.bttoons.com's user avatar
Tekno 😈🌐👑🇨🇦 | TEAM FOSSILS @generaltekno.bttoons.com ⋅ 1d
Someone leaked the entire unreleased Micronauts animated series to archive.org All 52 episodes Yes they FULLY FINISHED a Micronauts cartoon in the early 2020s and mothballed it
vangelus.bsky.social's user avatarVangelus @vangelus.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
tested ep1 of Micronauts, skipped to the credits so I could see every name of every crew member who put in so much work with the expectation that anybody would ever see the thing they did as part of their vocation in a creative field, working in service of what should be a reliable client & partner
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vangelus.bsky.social's user avatar
Vangelus @vangelus.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
tested ep1 of Micronauts, skipped to the credits so I could see every name of every crew member who put in so much work with the expectation that anybody would ever see the thing they did as part of their vocation in a creative field, working in service of what should be a reliable client & partner
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wackd.bsky.social's user avatar
Wack'd @wackd.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
gotta go back to the original tagline
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
admittedly, i might be arriving at a little annoyance on behalf of anyone responded to ever with "WELL it's not called SMARTING of age" because that's become a lot, i think the fork might be in that one, it's done
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
the people have spoken
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senatormeow.bsky.social's user avatar
Senator Meow @senatormeow.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
they're selling twink dongs at the grocery store now
Hostess Ding Dongs x Twinkies mashup with delicious Twinkies cake covered in Ding Dongs fudge
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that "how to lie" is not, actually, achieved by cupping the balls, despite the evidence of the entirety of the first panel, but by some other giant pile of words i guess, tl;dr
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louisathelast.bsky.social's user avatar
Louisa @louisathelast.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
“It’s not me who’s a bigot,” they always argue. “I’m fine with all you people. But the rest of the electorate is full of bigots, on whose behalf I will now speak”
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beetlemoses.bsky.social's user avatar
beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Same, Dunkin, same
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kevinmkruse.bsky.social's user avatar
Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
factpostnews.bsky.social's user avatarFactPost @factpostnews.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
House Republicans have shut down floor votes and will likely adjourn for 6 weeks to avoid voting for the release of the Epstein files.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
😬 Rainbow Friends
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lukeknox.me's user avatar
Luke Knox @lukeknox.me ⋅ 2d
this is why layout matters
video thumbnail
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