Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Some dork

by David M Willis on January 18, 2024 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – It's The Love I Haven't Got
└ Tags: jennifer, malaya

Discussion (199) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 18, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    only thing dorkier would be going to MAGFest

    • anon
      anon
      January 18, 2024 at 12:29 am | #

      have fun!

  2. Animedingo
    Animedingo
    January 18, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    I bet she pronounces it Kara-okay

    • Dante
      Dante
      January 18, 2024 at 12:21 am | #

      Oh godddd she so does

    • SpaceDorf
      SpaceDorf
      January 18, 2024 at 1:51 am | #

      Kara are you okay .. are you okay .. are you okay Kara ?

    • Maddie B
      Maddie B
      January 18, 2024 at 5:58 am | #

      Real ones pronounce it カラオケ.

      • Miafillene
        Miafillene
        January 18, 2024 at 4:36 pm | #

        kah-Rah-oh-keh. Least that’s what my sensei taught. I miss her.

      • Dante
        Dante
        January 18, 2024 at 7:06 pm | #

        Romance Languages usually do a good job because the way we do syllables and phonemes is similar – Barring some difficulty differentiating Japanese su/tsu and chu/shu, Spanish does the same sounds (including “Nya” = “Ña”)

        Of course, this means we kill it at karaoke in anime nights :33

    • Theluxland
      Theluxland
      January 18, 2024 at 7:59 am | #

      Wait, i’ve only heard it this way (And in french sentences so it may be the right way to say it in that language) but how do tou say it otherwise?

      • zee
        zee
        January 18, 2024 at 8:48 am | #

        In the west it’s more common to say “carry-oki”

      • asmodai27
        asmodai27
        January 18, 2024 at 10:00 am | #

        It is indeed pronounced “Kara Okay” in French, but when French borrows a word from another language, it tends to significantly change its pronounciation.

      • a/snow/mous/e
        a/snow/mous/e
        January 18, 2024 at 1:12 pm | #

        Yeah, ironically I think that’s probably the same as, or at least nearer to, the original Japanese pronunciation. But in American English, it’s typically anglicized to the pronunciation “carry okie”.

    • Robin Lionheart
      Robin Lionheart
      January 18, 2024 at 10:04 am | #

      What other way to pronounce it is there?

      …

      Oh right, now I remember. Guess I’d just blocked the memory of people saying “carry okie”.

      • mindbleach
        mindbleach
        January 18, 2024 at 11:47 pm | #

        On MST3K it’s always “kar-okie.” I have no idea if that’s a genuine Minnesota-ism or if it’s like Daffy Duck’s “despicable.”

    • Li
      Li
      January 18, 2024 at 3:49 pm | #

      I mean, karaoke is VERY much an outlier in how American English pronounces both loan words in general and Japanese loan words in specific. Our spelling wouldn’t be half as erratic as it is if we didn’t generally try to maintain pronunciation with our loan words.

      Examples of more “correctly” pronounced loans words: sushi, haiku, kabuki. Also Honda and Toyota and Nissan are all reasonable approximations.

      Examples of loan words that are off, but still better than karaoke: shiitake (often “shitaKEY”), jujutsu (juJItsu), pokemon (poKEYmon), kamikaze (kaMEkaZEE)

      Examples of loan words we don’t even try with: karaoke (carry-okee), hara-kiri (hairy-carry) – pretty sure the latter two came over to America during WW2, and the first in the 1980s, which to put it mildly were both periods of intense “screw that country” sentiment and probably not conducive to respecting their pronunciation.

      Examples of words you didn’t even know came from Japanese: tycoon (from 大君 taikun), skosh (just a skosh, from 少し sukoshi), honcho (head honcho, from 班長 hanchou)

      • Li
        Li
        January 18, 2024 at 3:52 pm | #

        *originally had kamikaze grouped with harakiri and karaoke, which is why that paragraph refers to three, but kamikaze is only slightly worse than pokemon or shiitake. The REAL best third example is karate, which we inexplicably pronounce kuh-RAH-tee.

  3. JA
    JA
    January 18, 2024 at 12:06 am | #

    Malaya calls it as she sees it.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      January 18, 2024 at 12:40 am | #

      Malaya needs to learn to respect her fellow human beings. All human beings are dangerous. As Mickey Spillane taught us long a go, even a child can pick up a gun and shoot her in the back. If she doesn’t respect her fellow humans, one of them will, sooner or later, teach her respect the hard way.

      • Dark_T_Zeratul
        Dark_T_Zeratul
        January 18, 2024 at 1:41 am | #

        Boy, that escalated quickly.

        • ktbear
          ktbear
          January 18, 2024 at 2:06 am | #

          USA in a nutshell.

          • BarerMender
            BarerMender
            January 18, 2024 at 8:56 am | #

            Bullshit. Good manners are about respect, and respect is about danger.

            • Thag Simmons
              Thag Simmons
              January 18, 2024 at 10:45 am | #

              That’s not an attitude that will take you to good places

              • BarerMender
                BarerMender
                January 18, 2024 at 10:41 pm | #

                Bullshit again. Good manners get you respect. Bad manners get you a punch in the mouth. As for shooting, I’ve been places where everyone could be assumed to be armed. Those were the quietest, nicest, politest places I’ve ever been.

                • FaerwenOfValenwood
                  FaerwenOfValenwood
                  January 19, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

                  Lmao

                • Xujhan
                  Xujhan
                  January 19, 2024 at 9:54 am | #

                  Is this a bit? Are we doing a bit? I genuinely can’t tell.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              January 18, 2024 at 11:58 am | #

              “Be nice to me or I’ll shoot you” isn’t respect, it’s fear lmao

              • Mturtle7
                Mturtle7
                January 18, 2024 at 12:20 pm | #

                I’m taking a screenshot of this particular thread, as one of the funniest spontaneous online interactions I’ve seen in a long time.

              • McNitz
                McNitz
                January 18, 2024 at 1:15 pm | #

                Unfortunately, religion often teaches you that respect should be due to fear. This can result in people being confused that others would respect people that don’t have power over them.

                • clif
                  clif
                  January 18, 2024 at 2:47 pm | #

                  An armed society is a polite society. – Robert A. Heinlein

                  It’s an old argument.

                • Li
                  Li
                  January 18, 2024 at 3:56 pm | #

                  It’s also demonstrably untrue, there are so many instances of people shooting other people over the mildest “slights” imaginable.

                • PedanticJerkass
                  PedanticJerkass
                  January 18, 2024 at 6:38 pm | #

                  If the only tool you have is a gun, you tend to see every problem as a target.

            • PedanticJerkass
              PedanticJerkass
              January 18, 2024 at 6:34 pm | #

              Who hurt you?

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        January 18, 2024 at 4:39 am | #

        Wow “calling someone a dork can get you killed, and that’s Malaya’s fault for being disrespectful, not the person jumping to lethal violence about their feefees”

        In my book, threatening violence (or actually perpetrating it) are pretty fucking disrespectful too. Grow up.

        • milu
          milu
          January 18, 2024 at 6:49 am | #

          Or maybe BarerMender was joking a little bit. Just maybe

          • Derek
            Derek
            January 18, 2024 at 10:52 am | #

            it’s a weird joke though, and not consistent with the tone of the comic or the rest of the comments

          • PedanticJerkass
            PedanticJerkass
            January 18, 2024 at 6:41 pm | #

            “I was just jokin’ brah” is not, has never been, and will not ever be a get out of jail free card for saying stupid crap, despite too many wrong opinions to the contrary.

            • milu
              milu
              January 18, 2024 at 6:51 pm | #

              k

          • James
            James
            January 18, 2024 at 8:37 pm | #

            So what’s the punchline?

    • Architex
      Architex
      January 18, 2024 at 2:51 am | #

      They must be majoring in whale biology.

    • Pylgrim
      Pylgrim
      January 18, 2024 at 7:25 am | #

      Man, I don’t like Malaya but I am so here for her bringing Jennifer down a notch.

    • Theluxland
      Theluxland
      January 18, 2024 at 8:01 am | #

      I used to not like Malaya very much but now I see how it’s a great character.
      And the fact she is questionning her gender identity (Like me) is just adding to the reason I appreciate her

  4. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    January 18, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

    Drag her ass, Malaya.

    • James
      James
      January 18, 2024 at 12:20 am | #

      *Let them fight.*

      • Imogen
        Imogen
        January 18, 2024 at 1:26 am | #

        These two have a stunning amount of chemistry. They play off each other’s weaknesses perfectly. I can’t believe we’ve never(?) seen these two interact before.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      January 18, 2024 at 2:19 am | #

      Malaya is always the most fun when they’re taking shots at someone less likeable then them.

      • deliverything
        deliverything
        January 18, 2024 at 4:08 am | #

        True, but Malaya can also be fun when taking shots at someone other than Mary.

        (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          January 18, 2024 at 9:32 pm | #

          +1

  5. Coatl
    Coatl
    January 18, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

    Malaya is also someone debatable, but she was honest with Jennifer

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 18, 2024 at 3:05 am | #

      Malaya respects sincerity; just look at her interactions with Joyce.

  6. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 18, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    Re: alt-text

    Oh wow, look at her now, Billingsworth’s Famous Dork.

    (probably dating myself with that one, kids these days are probably more familiar with the Dakota Fanning version. Bummer, they’re missing out on the glory of Paul Lynde.)

    • StClair
      StClair
      January 18, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

      He’ll always be my center square. 😀

      • elebenty
        elebenty
        January 18, 2024 at 1:41 am | #

        Indeed.

        And my favorite Uncle Arthur.

    • Dday
      Dday
      January 18, 2024 at 12:28 am | #

      SOME PIG

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      January 18, 2024 at 1:14 am | #

      Ooh whee! What do you see: the greatest dork in history!

      • Reaver
        Reaver
        January 18, 2024 at 12:27 pm | #

        Fine Swine,wish she were mine, so what if her ass so big?!

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      January 18, 2024 at 12:00 pm | #

      Thanks to the futuristic invention known as “Video Home System”, some of us youngsters are still In The Know™.

      • clif
        clif
        January 18, 2024 at 2:51 pm | #

        I’m uncertain if that is something you are making up or if something as 50’s sounding as video home system is actually a thing.

        • Li
          Li
          January 18, 2024 at 3:58 pm | #

          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/VHS

          Congrats on being one of today’s lucky 10,000!

        • David DeLaney
          David DeLaney
          January 18, 2024 at 7:11 pm | #

          +i

  7. TDKnave
    TDKnave
    January 18, 2024 at 12:08 am | #

    I’m conflicted. On one hand, Malaya’s the worst. On the other hand, so’s Jennifer.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      January 18, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

      “I don’t care if Malaya wins! I just want Jennifer to lose!”

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      January 18, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

      I know itss a real conundrum.

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      January 18, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

      There’s plenty of characters in this comic worse than either of them. Some of them are even still alive.

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      January 18, 2024 at 12:27 am | #

      The real winner is me who gets a laugh at their interactions.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      January 18, 2024 at 2:55 am | #

      Malaya’s worst-ness is well deployed here because it is fun to watch Jennifer try to be cool and fail.

      • Mturtle7
        Mturtle7
        January 18, 2024 at 12:25 pm | #

        Malaya’s an insufferably pigheaded misanthrope who thinks they’re genuinely cool but pretty much everyone else is faking it. This makes her really hard to watch when she blasting someone who’s honestly pretty nice, but absolutely HILARIOUS to watch when she runs into somebody with a lot of easily-shattered illusions about themselves.

  8. Joe Moose
    Joe Moose
    January 18, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

    I note an absence of a certain iguana.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      January 18, 2024 at 12:24 am | #

      Oh they’re busy being a part of Carla’s eye-catching ensemble.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 18, 2024 at 3:06 am | #

      Carla borrowed him.

  9. Koms
    Koms
    January 18, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

    This is going to be like the outing at the lake. Everyone will go to Karaoke and accidentally Dina too

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 18, 2024 at 12:14 am | #

      Plot twist: she will absolutely fucking slay Dinosaur by King Crimson.

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        January 18, 2024 at 8:30 pm | #

        open the door
        find Dina behind it
        get on the floor
        everybody sing the di-no-saur

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        January 18, 2024 at 9:40 pm | #

        Ooohhhh! I’m a dinosaur
        Somebody’s digging my bones.

  10. Cauchemar
    Cauchemar
    January 18, 2024 at 12:12 am | #

    Frankly Malaya and Jennifer talking to each other is like watching the Complete Asshole Olympics. They are both SO far up their own asses.

    • Dante
      Dante
      January 18, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

      And somehow, Malaya is winning.

      • Coatl
        Coatl
        January 18, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

        I don’t know if this is good or bad

        • Dante
          Dante
          January 18, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

          The match is not over yet! May the worst win

          • Coatl
            Coatl
            January 18, 2024 at 12:26 am | #

            True

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        January 18, 2024 at 12:33 am | #

        Malaya’s skillset includes crawling up other peoples’ asses.

      • Mark
        Mark
        January 18, 2024 at 7:23 am | #

        Dunno, I think so far they’re both losing — in a two-way contest.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 18, 2024 at 12:41 am | #

      meh, they’re just a couple of dorks.

    • ktbear
      ktbear
      January 18, 2024 at 2:09 am | #

      Never met an ass I didnt like. I suspect its the ears, SO cute. Oh wait, y’all are Americans, aren’t you?

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        January 18, 2024 at 2:42 am | #

        That joke sort of needs plausible syntactic ambiguity to work, and I think most english speakers regardless of nationality will read “complete asshole” or “up their own asses” and comprehend the intended meaning.

        Like if someone called a dude a “pretentious jackass” for unironically using the phrase “plausible syntactic ambiguity” in casual conversation, that’s somewhere you could make this sort of joke. I don’t know if it’d be funny but at least you would be pedantically correct

        • anonymsly
          anonymsly
          January 18, 2024 at 5:51 am | #

          Isn’t pedantically correct the best (and funniest) kind of correct?

          • clif
            clif
            January 18, 2024 at 2:55 pm | #

            Even better than technically correct.

        • Mark
          Mark
          January 18, 2024 at 7:25 am | #

          How is “plausible syntactic ambiguity” not casual conversation?

          • Thag Simmons
            Thag Simmons
            January 18, 2024 at 10:46 am | #

            It’s a jargony way of saying something I could have conveyed in simpler words so it feels a little pretentious to me. I’m a little self-conscious about this sort of thing though

          • clif
            clif
            January 18, 2024 at 3:05 pm | #

            Your problem is you hang out with too many adults.

  11. Dean
    Dean
    January 18, 2024 at 12:12 am | #

    Malaya, don’t make fun of the super mega dork.

  12. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    January 18, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    Oh no… we’ve discovered something Malaya actually likes.

    • Dante
      Dante
      January 18, 2024 at 12:20 am | #

      Her DORK LEVEL is OVER 9000, except Malaya would never, ever word it in such a way it’d imply she enjoys a single thing.

      (Even universally beloved trans-cultural icon Dragon Ball.)

    • Dante
      Dante
      January 18, 2024 at 12:20 am | #

      sdghskljd oh my god, I meant to post that on the main comment section sorry BUT YEA

    • anon
      anon
      January 18, 2024 at 12:34 am | #

      Depends on if she’s using ‘astounding’ sarcastically or not

      • Mturtle7
        Mturtle7
        January 18, 2024 at 12:27 pm | #

        I assumed the former at first, but now that RassilonTDavros points it out, it occurs to me she COULD VERY WELL actually mean it as a compliment! I’m kind of torn about which interpretation is funnier, tbh.

  13. Coatl
    Coatl
    January 18, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    Wait…did she manage to convince Dorothy to let off some steam at karaoke?
    and also

    Does Jennifer also need Sal to keep them company?

    • anon
      anon
      January 18, 2024 at 12:30 am | #

      well, sal and danny are prolly a bit more well adjusted in comparison to balance out their…unhinged-ness?

      Plus dorothy can learn from sal a bit more details about their parents

      Plot twist: Dorothy joins sal/danny’s throuple instead of ruth/jens 8D

      • Coatl
        Coatl
        January 18, 2024 at 12:34 am | #

        Tempting idea, mostly because Sal and Dorothy are my favorites from the comic.

        But wouldn’t it be awkward considering she’s his ex and his other ex’s sister?

        • Viktoria
          Viktoria
          January 18, 2024 at 12:39 am | #

          Counterpoint: The 3 of them map well onto Id/Ego/Superego, which is a solid recipe for a stable fictional trio that works in many situations.

          • Coatl
            Coatl
            January 18, 2024 at 12:41 am | #

            Well, we just have to wait for it to happen.

          • Dante
            Dante
            January 18, 2024 at 12:47 am | #

            Wow. I was joshing down on the thread but you’ve presenting a solid, solid point. By themselves Danny and Dorothy were quite insipid. Their entire chemistry changes if you add Sal.

            • Coatl
              Coatl
              January 18, 2024 at 12:54 am | #

              The result is disturbing and exciting

        • Dante
          Dante
          January 18, 2024 at 12:43 am | #

          Mobius Double Reacharound of (s)Ex: Danny finally steals Walky’s ex, who is his ex. He has now two girlfriends. One of them is Walky’s sister, who looks like Dorothy’s ex whom she misses except way hotter. Everyone turns out to be bisexual.

          Everyone wins.

          • StClair
            StClair
            January 18, 2024 at 2:16 am | #

            help, I’ve gone all cross-eyed.

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        January 18, 2024 at 8:34 pm | #

        Plot reverse-half-twist: she becomes the seventh wheel connecting them and Joe/Joyce

        –Dave, the spreadsheets come in extremely handy for scheduling purposes

        • Dante
          Dante
          January 19, 2024 at 12:48 am | #

          Is this how those city-wide polycules manage? O.O

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 18, 2024 at 2:49 am | #

      Jennifer was originally coming to speak to the twins about their parents before she saw Dorothy. She’s probably just here to talk to them before she goes.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      January 18, 2024 at 2:50 am | #

      Sal is like an actually trained singer, bringing her along is just asking to be made to feel insecure about your own performance.

    • Archieve
      Archieve
      January 18, 2024 at 3:00 am | #

      Jennifer originally came to tell either Sal or Walky something so she probably still wants to do that first though maybe she also thinks having Sal for karaoke will make it cool?

    • Mark
      Mark
      January 18, 2024 at 7:29 am | #

      Jennifer, having decided on a “solution”, is ignoring the question of whether Dorothy is actually engaging with it, and is assembling the cast to enact it.

    • furubatsu
      furubatsu
      January 18, 2024 at 8:30 am | #

      I was gonna note Jennifer needs a turn off like Danny around after her interactions with Ruth but then I remembered in like, her second week here she almost slept with Danny so who knows.

    • clif
      clif
      January 18, 2024 at 3:14 pm | #

      Coatl – Jennifer wants to talk to Sal about the parent situation. Not going to search for the link on account of I’m lazy. Personal speculation is that Jennifer may be the only one they told what they were doing on campus.

    • Tan
      Tan
      January 18, 2024 at 3:43 pm | #

      Other people have already noted that Jennifer is looking for Sal to fulfil her original purpose of speaking to one or both of the Walkerton twins.

      However I am now so enamored with the idea of Jennifer+Ruth and Dorothy+Sal having a karaoke double-date that I will even brush past that this would be essentially committing a war crime against Danny for really no reason when he has been nothing but a good egg.

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        January 18, 2024 at 8:35 pm | #

        counterpoint: madam, he PLAYS a UKULELE

  14. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    January 18, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    crunchy

  15. Nono
    Nono
    January 18, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    Is that astounding dork as in “they’re a dork… but they’re kinda cool” or “wow, they’re freakishly dork, look at the size of their dorkitude”?

    • Laura
      Laura
      January 18, 2024 at 12:35 am | #

      The second one.

      • Archieve
        Archieve
        January 18, 2024 at 3:05 am | #

        Yep after insisting she was cool and then uncertainly saying “kareoke?” The second statement was the only option.

        • Daibhid C
          Daibhid C
          January 18, 2024 at 7:18 am | #

          Also, the fact it’s Malaya saying it means the second one is the only option.

  16. Mel
    Mel
    January 18, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

    “You could be popular among dorks. A Dork Queen.”
    Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point

    • Chaucer59
      Chaucer59
      January 18, 2024 at 12:19 am | #

      Are you saying Jennifer doesn’t know Mary?

      • Dante
        Dante
        January 18, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

        Mary doesn’t count as a person (??)

        • Mel
          Mel
          January 18, 2024 at 12:30 am | #

          I’ve protectively scabbed over the memory of Mary’s existence

          • Dante
            Dante
            January 18, 2024 at 12:49 am | #

            +1, I’m ever only forcibly reminded by the Commentariat when someone needs to mention “Worst Person”.

    • anon
      anon
      January 18, 2024 at 12:31 am | #

      I feel like actual dorks would admit to being so , wear it with pride, ‘hell yeah i’m a dork queen’, if anything malaya would ‘respect’ that more versus her ‘popular’ queen bee attitude since that’d be ‘fakey’ to her lol

      • Dante
        Dante
        January 18, 2024 at 12:52 am | #

        OH YEAH! We’ve watched it happen and it was awesome.

  17. Erica
    Erica
    January 18, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

    Nothing says “not a dork” like telling people how popular you are

    • anon
      anon
      January 18, 2024 at 12:36 am | #

      i’m surprised no one’s called her out on it (other than ruth mocking/ruining her cheer outfit) of it being like “Anyone who says “i’m popular in high school”” is not something actually worth bragging about anymore” or so

      • Bash
        Bash
        January 18, 2024 at 1:22 am | #

        Daisy took her to task about it early on, but it didn’t stick.

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        January 18, 2024 at 1:27 am | #

        That was the general attitude in Read, everyone in Forrest being impressed was something that made it weird.

  18. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    January 18, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

    Malaya: You are just Slightly above the average dork, be proud.

  19. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 18, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

    I mean, Jennifer adores Kit Fisto. That’s pretty dorky.

  20. jeffepp
    jeffepp
    January 18, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

    “And, I’m in, you son of a…”

    “I didn’t ask you.”

    What part of ‘I’m in’ didn’t you understand? Dork!”

  21. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    January 18, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

    I would have gone for “colossal dork,” but I’m vicious.

  22. Marvelman
    Marvelman
    January 18, 2024 at 12:19 am | #

    I got the Charlotte’s Web reference!

  23. UrsulaDavina
    UrsulaDavina
    January 18, 2024 at 12:24 am | #

    Let’s face it the coolest person in that room at the moment is Fuckface and yes he is there and he is also with Carla, Fuckface is so cool that he can manipulate space and time to be everywhere everyplace at anytime all at once. Fuckface is not a god beacuse is he too cool to be diety no other deties acknowlede him and fear him! Entire pantheons across multiple multivariate recognize the unbridled charisma that is Fuckface!

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      January 18, 2024 at 12:27 am | #

      My auto correct change multiverse to multivariate but Fuckface is multivariate being and singular being! The turtles acknowledges that it is not turtles all the way down it is Fuckface all the way up down and in all directions!

  24. Laura
    Laura
    January 18, 2024 at 12:30 am | #

    *Plays “Sad today” on the hacked waiting-room muzak*

  25. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    January 18, 2024 at 12:38 am | #

    The thing about Malaya is that we don’t see her LIKING anything. She judges others and tears them down, especially when they’re about to have fun, but even with her GF and Roller Derby, she doesn’t show that she enjoys it too much. That’d be uncool.

    And that just makes her an anti-fun character. When she appears, all we know for sure is that the average mood of the strip is about to take a downturn.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 18, 2024 at 12:45 am | #

      Roller Derby is something dorks go watch.

    • Coatl
      Coatl
      January 18, 2024 at 12:47 am | #

      I won’t lie that her “sincerity” towards Jennifer is gratifying, but we are not going to deny that someone must stop her or that life itself gives him the deadliest blow of reality that rearranges her neurons.

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 18, 2024 at 12:38 pm | #

      She likes making people mad at her! I vaguely remember her grinning with smug satisfaction when she explaining to Joe in detail how many people they could piss off by sleeping together. Actually, from what I recall of the Slipshine, she showed much more enjoyment from walking down the hallway with Joe and drinking in his dorm-mates’ horrified reactions than she showed during the actual sex. Which is pretty good evidence for my point, I think.

  26. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 18, 2024 at 12:40 am | #

    LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!

  27. Amelie Wikström
    Amelie Wikström
    January 18, 2024 at 12:47 am | #

    “Heartbreaking: The worst person you know has a good point”

  28. Francoinblanco
    Francoinblanco
    January 18, 2024 at 12:56 am | #

    funny, this is the second or third time someone knocks on the door and they want to talk to Sal, not you. (Carla wanted Fuckface, not you)

  29. I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
    I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
    January 18, 2024 at 1:01 am | #

    Malaya! I fucking love Malaya! Everybody likes Malaya, right gang? (gets pelted with tomatoes)

    • Mark
      Mark
      January 18, 2024 at 7:37 am | #

      Splat!

    • smolgrlboi
      smolgrlboi
      January 19, 2024 at 1:52 pm | #

      Malaya rules I don’t understand why she gets so much hate when MARY exists.

  30. Suet
    Suet
    January 18, 2024 at 1:03 am | #

    Maybe more of a dork goddess.

    Of course Malaya is kara-okay with it, betcha Malaya’s folks have some mad singing chops. Wonder who else in DoA would be able to sing well?

    • Laura
      Laura
      January 18, 2024 at 1:22 am | #

      Um, SAL! And DANNY!

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 18, 2024 at 12:39 pm | #

      Surprisingly enough, Beef.

  31. Steelbright
    Steelbright
    January 18, 2024 at 1:04 am | #

    See, when Malaya calls Sal a faker, it’s annoying, but when they call Jennifer a dork, it’s hilarious

    • clif
      clif
      January 18, 2024 at 2:37 am | #

      Yes, and … ?

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 18, 2024 at 12:39 pm | #

      Yes, exactly! You get it!

    • StClair
      StClair
      January 19, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

      Because Sal isn’t, and Jennifer is.

  32. sdrainbow
    sdrainbow
    January 18, 2024 at 1:14 am | #

    malaya continues to the the only light of truth in this comic

  33. cbwroses
    cbwroses
    January 18, 2024 at 1:18 am | #

    Huh.
    Just realized that they have almost the exact same hairstyle.
    Considering the personality traits that they share, it’s an interesting coincidence (within the confines of the story as who knows if Willis did it deliberately).

  34. Hazel
    Hazel
    January 18, 2024 at 1:33 am | #

    Predicting that Sal is going to enjoy watching Malaya ritually disembowel (figurative) Jennifer, and thereby gain a new appreciation for them.

  35. Archieve
    Archieve
    January 18, 2024 at 3:17 am | #

    Jennifer might have been fine if she hadn’t felt the need to say she had “cool things with to do with friends” in panel four.

  36. Archieve
    Archieve
    January 18, 2024 at 3:18 am | #

    Though she lost the minute she reacted to Malayas trolling.

    • newlland(Henryvolt)
      newlland(Henryvolt)
      January 18, 2024 at 5:39 am | #

      The is true, you show your ass the minute you give them the idea your care.

  37. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    January 18, 2024 at 4:13 am | #

    Is that real Karaoke is a dork thing. Depending on country, karaoke is a place for popular people.

    • Zaxares
      Zaxares
      January 18, 2024 at 6:39 am | #

      Yeah, was just thinking that. Over in Asia, going to karaoke is like EXPECTED as part of after-hours mingling with your coworkers and such.

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        January 18, 2024 at 7:12 am | #

        Speaking as someone whose main social activity is after-hours mingling with his co-workers (but not karaoke), that really sounds like something a dork would do.

        • Daibhid C
          Daibhid C
          January 18, 2024 at 7:13 am | #

          (From a Westeren perspective.)

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      January 18, 2024 at 1:20 pm | #

      Malaya is just being disagreeable. The only reason the commentariat thinks its a sick burn is because of how much people hate Jennifer no matter what she does.

  38. thakoru
    thakoru
    January 18, 2024 at 6:57 am | #

    Sal is fully not in the room.

  39. Firseal
    Firseal
    January 18, 2024 at 7:11 am | #

    Oh god I’m on Malaya’s side, if not her vocabulary. This is, like a stop sign that replaced the word STOP with a tangerine, a bad sign.

  40. milu
    milu
    January 18, 2024 at 7:16 am | #

    ….now kiss?

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      January 18, 2024 at 7:50 am | #

      You’re thinking of a different dork there to see Sal.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        January 18, 2024 at 10:48 am | #

        Malaya does kind of seem like Jennifer’s type though

  41. M!a
    M!a
    January 18, 2024 at 8:11 am | #

    Oh hey, wait’ll Billifer tries to whip out the ex-cheerleader card. That will be epic.

  42. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    January 18, 2024 at 8:38 am | #

    Say whether you want about Malaya being a rude, annoying nuisance. But she can recognise a dork when she sees one.

  43. torrent29
    torrent29
    January 18, 2024 at 8:57 am | #

    Just how big is this dorm room?!?

    • clif
      clif
      January 18, 2024 at 3:22 pm | #

      It’s bigger on the inside.

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        January 18, 2024 at 8:38 pm | #

        it contains Malaya’s ego

        –Dave, the calculations are left to the reader

  44. Grayfinity
    Grayfinity
    January 18, 2024 at 10:03 am | #

    Jenn, please, I can’t.

    Someone needed to humble the crud outta her. Glad Malaya’s here.

  45. Smooti
    Smooti
    January 18, 2024 at 10:11 am | #

    Hadn’t occurred to me until this point that Jennifer absolutely needs a Malaya in her life. Someone to keep her grounded, y’know?

    • Mturtle7
      Mturtle7
      January 18, 2024 at 12:48 pm | #

      I mean, I agree, but also I hasten to add this is kind of like saying what Jennifer really needs is a punch in the face. It’s technically true, but keep in mind this would not really be a positive force or a recipe for a healthy relationship!

      • Nevermaker
        Nevermaker
        January 18, 2024 at 9:08 pm | #

        It might be efficient in small doses

      • Smooti
        Smooti
        January 18, 2024 at 10:53 pm | #

        Listen this wasn’t intended as a shipping thing, I would also support Malaya just punching her in the face

        And maybe also make out, since that’s kinda Billie’s style

        • Mturtle7
          Mturtle7
          January 19, 2024 at 1:11 am | #

          I wasn’t intending it as a shipping thing either, just a friend-shipping kind of thing, but in hindsight I can see how I phrased it poorly.

          You continue to not be wrong, though

          On both counts

  46. Nothri
    Nothri
    January 18, 2024 at 10:38 am | #

    Not only did Billie walk right into that one, I feel like she had to move past several large signs that said “warning: you are walking into a trap!!!” In big red letters.

    • Nothri
      Nothri
      January 18, 2024 at 10:40 am | #

      Hell by the end what she found was a sprung bear trap with a sign that read “please arm trap and then place foot in teeth”.

      • Mturtle7
        Mturtle7
        January 18, 2024 at 12:50 pm | #

        Malaya: “Damn. I’ve never heard someone describe my gender so accurately.”

  47. Derek
    Derek
    January 18, 2024 at 10:59 am | #

    Karaoke is only dorky in the USA because it’s done in a bar in front of everyone at the establishment. Asian-style karaoke can be cool because you get your own little private room where you can order drinks, food and sing off key without being seen. If you’re one of the bad kids, you also have sex in there

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      January 18, 2024 at 2:44 pm | #

      If the various mange/anime I consume is any guide, far more sex goes on there than singing.

    • Essex
      Essex
      January 18, 2024 at 11:10 pm | #

      i do karaoke here in australia in a bar in front of everyone, and i love it.

  48. Yeet
    Yeet
    January 18, 2024 at 11:19 am | #

    Jennifer for the love of god you can do better than that at acting not dorky.

  49. RedComet
    RedComet
    January 18, 2024 at 11:32 am | #

    Still mean etc etc but after rooming with Lucy for half a semester and seeing her intense attempts at popularity I kind of get Malaya’s Dork Queen clarification

  50. poyo
    poyo
    January 18, 2024 at 12:14 pm | #

    LMAOOOOOOOOO I love Malaya

  51. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 18, 2024 at 1:47 pm | #

    Are you really ok leaving Fuckface downstair, Malaya ?

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      January 18, 2024 at 8:40 pm | #

      Fuckface is on the _balcony_

      –Dave, all the way across campus

  52. The Jighole Man
    The Jighole Man
    January 18, 2024 at 2:07 pm | #

    is she getting a fourth person so they can sing baka mitai as a quartet?

  53. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    January 18, 2024 at 8:30 pm | #

    Note that being called a dork REALLY gets under Jennifer’s skin despite how high school it is.

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      January 18, 2024 at 8:40 pm | #

      BECAUSE of how high school it is

  54. Nevermaker
    Nevermaker
    January 18, 2024 at 9:07 pm | #

    I gotta say, I REALLY like Malaya’s attitude when it’s directed at people I find annoying.

  55. Essex
    Essex
    January 18, 2024 at 11:08 pm | #

    as someone who loves karaoke: HEY!
    as someone who thinks Jennifer is a horrible person and loves seeing her dunked on: I’ll allow it.

  56. Vukodlak
    Vukodlak
    January 18, 2024 at 11:52 pm | #

    Well shes not wrong….

  57. Axel
    Axel
    January 18, 2024 at 11:55 pm | #

    if you have to assert that you’re cool and your friends are cool*, you’re more of a dork than any stereotypical dork behaviour would make you.

    *in a defensive way. there are definitely ways to be like ‘nah we’re cool,’ that are reasonable

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I may have to pin this
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