Nah, that’s greeting card stuff. While Mr.Rogers had really good messages, remember (as he always did) that his audience was *children*. Some people should make changes, even if it’s hard.
Maybe at some point Sarah finds some middle ground between this and hoe grouchy and grumpy she used to be. But for now, if she really wants to change, I am happy for her.
well, it was pretty obvious that it’d be a toll on her energy but idk if she’d still act like this if it was just say, her and joyce in their dorm room since joyce ‘loves/accepts’ all sides of sarah and such
It is growth, but it is also an over correction. She’s a child so mistakes like that are bound to happen. She’ll find a good balance given time, practice and the support of her friends. This is ABSOLUTELY a step in the right direction. She just decided to take it at a run and managed to 30 steps forward and 8 steps to the right onto someone else’s path. With a bit of course correction and some love from her friends, it won’t be that hard to realize she CAN be this sometimes and not kill herself with it (practice will also help with the amount of energy it takes) but that she doesn’t have to go QUITE this far to be emotionally available and friendly to be a better person.
not that he’s completely imploded/self harmed or anything but i imagine ethan’s current state probably isn’t healthy in the long run even if he is dating asher for now (makes me wonder if there would’ve been a cut to sarah dressing up ‘brightly’/in pastels to contrast his wardrobe lol)
That “Considerable” suggests she’s forcing herself to act this way and isn’t going to be able to keep it up. Maybe she’ll be able to “fake until she makes it” and it becomes easy for her, but more likely she’ll burn herself out and relapse.
It is good to see that the more nefarious suggestions from yesterday aren’t true – assuming she’s telling the truth here. Also good to see that Jacob’s not angry like some thought and that she’s not outraged that he’d dare to demand answers.
Still it’s hard to see this as long-term character growth for Sarah, even if she is sincere about wanting to make this change.
I think she is trying to take a age from Aristotle’s works and cultivate virtue. Rather than simply win over Jacob, I interpret this strip as Sarah trying to turn her life around so she can win over people and form connections like Lucy does instead of being a grumpy loner who, in her mind, seems to have accidentally stumbled into friendship with Joyce (of course Sarah has worked hard to maintain that relationship).
Maybe she can fake till she makes it. You know, eventually have trust and amicability be second nature.
honestly i think it’d be more believable if she had acted like carla and more ‘arrogant’ and such like “F*ck y’all i’ll say and do what i want just stay away from me if you can’t deal with it”
or like frank from always sunny: “I don’t care if anybody doesn’t like that about me. They don’t have to stick around!”
that said ,she should just start acting ‘amicable’ around teachers and stuff if she plans to be a future lawyer. if not ‘ladder climb’ like raidah but maybe not in quite as cunning/nasty of a way (although while most of the audience probably doesn’t have any raidah ‘fans’ i don’t think she’s necessarily done anything too bad in that regard although i imagine walky and lucy aren’t gonna be part of their ‘brunch group’ for longer, not that walky would’ve rly been able to use his ‘connections’ anywyas)
Computer parts covered in RGB lights have been a thing for a few years now. They don’t do anything for performance, but more RGB = more clout when you post setup pics to /r/PCMR.
You can even get cases that are pretty much computer parts terrariums so you can show off all the shiny blinkies.
I’m hoping she’ll balance out. A few hours/days where it is very difficult, maybe a brief explosion, but eventually to where she can keep a bit better of an attitude, but without such an effort to go against her general nature (like, she can keep a neutral face, and still not like hanging out with many people, but she can also not dwell on how she’s into someone who doesn’t want the same thing as her)
i’d assume she’d only act like this in a group setting but still trade barbs with raidah if she came across them if not just neutral/avoid talking to ppl she’d dislike, like Jen even if she did tell her that she’s not gonna ‘respond to bait’ or whatever
But that’s not to say that Sarah can’t become more open and welcoming in the long term. Its just not a thing that one can flip on overnight. Just gotta ease into it, and not expect things to change quickly.
Thing is, while this might be more welcoming, it’s not more open. This is just a different layer of emotional armor. She’s faking it. It’s not real.
It’s a more socially acceptable way of hiding her vulnerabilities.
It’s like Becky in a way: “Nobody likes a Debby Downer”
He might have been the final straw on the camel’s back, but I think that Sarah’s point in the comic is that this change has been brewing for a while. If anything, she might be more mimicking Joyce’s normally happy mood than Lucy’s disposition.
I do think that Jacob’s assumption that she is doing this to steal him away from Lucy is a bit rough to vocalize. It isn’t as if she went out of her way to be around him acting nicer, as they have the same friend group. It does seem like some of his inner emotions are leaking through where he doesn’t like this change for some reason or another. Maybe he preferred her cranky (even if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her) or something along the lines of guilt or frustration. So far, with his pushing, it feels like he is making it a Jacob problem rather than a Sarah problem. Like he is trying to get a reaction from her and she mostly keeps on ignoring it.
She says she realised the way she behaved wasn’t doing her any favours and that it’s not about “winning him back”. And I believe her. What she doesn’t say is why she realised the way she behaved wasn’t doing her any favours.
Um yeah, we choose not to believe her. It’s pretty common for characters in this strip, just like people in real life, not to be open and honest about their motivations.
That’s in addition, as Daibhid C says, to her not actually saying that it wasn’t motivated by him, just that she wasn’t trying to steal him from Lucy. That I’ll provisionally accept, though if she was, she wouldn’t tell him here anyway.
That feels a little messed up. Sarah said she’s making an honest attempt at change not motivated by a desire to get Jacob, and the response is we don’t believe you. The point I’m making is even if Jacob was the catalyst for this change she’s not doing it for him, her self improvement is genuine attempt for her to achieve her own happiness.
To me. Hearing her say that and remaining skeptical or believing she will burn out shows a lack of faith in your friend. Sarah said what she’s doing. Even if she’s lying to herself isn’t it better to trust her?
I mostly accept she’s not planning to get Jacob with this change, though she’s schemed before so and certainly wouldn’t admit here, so the possibility remains, but that’s different than “not motivated by him”, which she doesn’t say and which is almost certainly is.
So some of this is perhaps just a misunderstanding of your earlier statement to mean it wasn’t connected to him at all.
But I don’t think it shows a lack of faith to not expect someone to be able to sustain a radical personality change that they’re already admitting is a strain.
I mean you probably shouldn’t have faith in your friends when they are doing something you think it’s very unhealthy. Being unquestionably supportive it’s not very good either.
Considering the timing, it would be quite a coincidence if it had literally nothing to do with Jacob and Lucy. It might not be a transparent attempt to win over Jacob, but it seems like this incident may have been the catalyst for greater change.
I don’t know what the look on his face is in the last two panels. If I were guessing, I’d say judgmental / skeptical. But like, isn’t she doing what he’s been encouraging her to do, is this the first time he’s thought about how much effort it takes.
I don’t think she’ll maintain this level of cheerfulness, and I don’t think she needs to. She just needs to take some of the edge off. Not all of it, Arnold’s going to find her snark charming.
Not out of spite, I think, but more that she’s desperate to be a part of some friend group and doesn’t want to let go of even the tentative connections she’s made here.
Plus it’s her first break up and she doesn’t know how to behave.
I don’t know where the “not acting like he expected” thing come from, he is more concerned with the way this sudden and drastic shift it’s probably unhealthy for her mental health.
That’s not all he’s concerned about. Jacob states in this comic that he thinks Sarah’s positive attitude is an attempt to win him from Lucy. Just having that thought even if reasonable is a bit narcissistic. Implying that his actions should have significant effect on her. Motivating her to do something petty instead of assuming the best in Sarah. But Sarah is not in fact trying to steal him from Lucy she’s trying to be better for her own growth even if she’s just faking it till she makes it. I think that just threw Jacob off as well as any concern he has for her mental health. It’s fine if Jacob’s not a perfect person. It’s natural for him to be concerned that Sarah might be slighted as that would at least make things awkward for him and Lucy but in those assumptions he’s vocalized betray him either overvaluing his own importance to Sarah or that he thinks a little less of her than he should as a friend.
I hope I articulated this well. It’s fine if Jacob’s not a perfect person. I think he’s a better character for it.
I mean his actions DID have significant effect on her, we literally are seeing that right now. And he really did matter a whole to her (at least in sense that she did quite a lot to try to get with him even if she always backed off at the last minute) so I don’t think noticing that really is all that narcissistic. I have issues with the other points too but I am sleepy so I’m gonna end it here.
To me what smacks of narcissism isn’t the thought ‘is this about me?’, it’s saying it to her like he did. The thought is quite understandable. Following it through with ‘there is clearly enough here to justify demanding an answer from her, and asking this way will do more good than bad’, not so much.
I don’t think this is what he’s been encouraging her to do, though she might think it is.
He wanted her to be more open and vulnerable. This is just a different kind of armor.
I do not anticipate that she can keep this going entirely, but, I do think that this is going to be part of a Sarah who is more balanced, that she can be a grump without dipping into the sometimes kind of despicable or manipulative.
Like, being a bit of a sourpuss on occasion is fine, but she was getting miserable and seeing it impact her life negatively when it was something of a constant for her.
I think she was burning herself out with the negativity. Obviously she’s not going to be this chipper forever, but I’d like to see her smile sometimes.
Shifting your attitude over night after getting cucked is never believable.
Steady growth into becoming a better version of yourself is more natural. I’m starting to believe this is her new idea of widrawing herself to cope and it’s that feels sad.
It’s like that one shen comic of the blob deciding to come out of It’s box shell only to get decked and the it closes itself off in a harder box and say “Never Again.”
i’m sure some ppl are looking forward to the eventual ‘burnout’ but it’s more of a gesture if she were to be a friend to ppl who need it/doesn’t dislike as opposed to just everyone/faking a whole personality in general, so it’s more of a meaningful ‘gesture’ if sarah reaches out/comforts someone awkwardly going through something considering how everyone sees sarah as antisocial
“I discovered the one trick doctors hate that actually works, and I ain’t sharing. That slight pettiness is all that’s holding me together at this point.”
I’d really like to believe Sarah is being genuine with this, but considering it happened literally overnight after she got effectively cucked, its not starting off strong so Jacob’s skepticism is warrented.
That said, I really hope Sarah gets something out of this. Its definitely true her current way hasn’t done her much favors, but flipping overnight isn’t the ideal either.
You’ll get your growth, Sarah. Just keep on keepin’ on.
Goddamn, she really *can’t* win with some folks-outside the comic, and in.
As bad as her behavior sometimes was before, I don’t suppose it occurs to Jacob, Lucy, or the various haters here his much this sort of reaction (she’s doing it because she got cucked! For chrissakes.) validates the cynical, wary skepticism that fueled the behavior others disliked her for?
I don’t see any haters on these comments? Mostly people being concerned or that think this is a good thing. Jacob is being skeptical because completely changing your entire personality overnight it’s concerning and with that last panel it is clear it’s already taken a lot out of her
*shrug* it’s subjective, but ‘she’s doing this because she got cucked!’ qualifies to me. Though to be clear, I meant to include a line about ‘critics and haters’, rather than suggesting it was only haters.
I kind of think it’s the opposite actually. She was distant and cynical and guarded because she didn’t want to get hurt. And yet those qualities prevented her from getting close with Jacob, and she got hurt anyway. Maybe she’s starting to feel like it’s not worth being so guarded all the time.
She was that way in part because she had already been hurt, and it would appear by her words with Jacob that it doesn’t take effort not to be cynical and guarded-it takes effort to be what others are (frequently) telling or suggesting to her she should be.
So now she’s pretending to be happy and friendly and cheerful and not at all hurt by Jacob and Lucy. Definitely less guarded, not just a different approach.
She’s just doing the same thing, but instead of negativity, it’s “positivity”. I can’t see this as a good thing, it doesn’t register as that. It’s just as sad as how she was before (as in, why she does it, not her herself.)
Turns out Sarah’s abilities to doing well in her classes was directly tied to her misanthropy, and so she really starts to struggle academically.
It turns out Sarah’s face isn’t used to smiling and her teeth aren’t used to be exposed to air so much. She develops jaw issues and her teeth start to rot.
Sarah’s surly attitude was part of a tradeoff used in a bargain among gods, and the whole thing falls through with her personality change. In two strips, el Chupacabra will appear and being preying on the campus.
Jacob will accidentally wander onto the set of a student’s amateur film and become a sensation online. Lucy will fuck a cashier at the local movie theater and not tip her. Parsqualio will hire Sarah to review their products, which will result in her making enough money to buy an old car within the month.
Sarah becomes a motivation speaker who teaches people from all walks of life how to maintain a cheerful disarming facade through all of life’s most horrific traumas.
So after seeing this bit… I’m kinda wondering why Jacob cares.
I guess he was concerned that Sarah was trying to manipulate her way into his arms but she’s officially denied that as a goal.
So at this point, I feel like he should just back off now? So what if it’s taking a mental toll on her? Frankly, he should have thought of that before he decided to get with Lucy.
He can’t control her feelings any more than she can control his.
Jacob’s concern seems… poorly timed.
But if Sarah becoming a better person with better coping mechanisms comes out of this clusterfuck, then that’ll make it all worth it.
Not at all a rediculous suggestion given what Joyce did to him. And how she lied to him. I’m not Al all surprised his mind went there. And I do think this is good for Sarah even if it’s off to a rough start
“fake it til you make it” as they say tho it does seem like she’s overcompensating with her current attitude instead of finding some kinda balance or even just being like 20% less grumpy, i can’t imagine walky toning down his sarcasm too much either even if he’s grown/changed too (tho idk if he’d admit it like “i refuse to let this traumatize me!”)
or the convo joyce/jen had at the doctor’s office “no one’s gonna let you/forget who you were before”
It might be easier to way over-do it until she finds a realistic balance. To try and gradually change it might make it too easy to slip back into her usual norm. By making such a drastic concerted difference, it is probably easier for her to not slip back into the norm. If she does follow through with this, I have a feeling that it either will swing back and forth until she finds a new normal or slowly tone down from this extreme until she finds a lower level where both people tolerate it and she can handle it.
well there was that one comic where she sat next to jacob and just smiled/didn’t say anything, so might be better to be schadenfreude/imagine other ppl miserable and just letting things hpapen naturally
To be fair, many people overcorrect when they are trying to change or overcome habitual behavior. It can take a while to adjust to something not so drastic.
I’m interested in why this is seen as unhealthy. Difficult, yes, but what are Sarah’s other options? Continuing to be miserable and guarded while all her friends move on into relationships does nothing for her and likely just leads to more misery for her. Changing as a person is what she believes will help her get what she wants and make her happier. It takes a lot of mental energy but the alternative is to just stay sad. Sometimes a slow and gradual change that’s more palatable for your supposed friends doesn’t actually help you as much as you want or need.
Besides the very real possibility of emotional burnout there is something called “toxic positivity” where disregarding one negative emotion in favor of more socially presentable positive ones can end up very badly.
What’s dangerous here? It might be difficult? She might fail at first? It might be something that needs workshopping to find the right middle ground that both makes her happier with her life and doesn’t burn her out.
The danger we are talking about is the mental exhaustion that constantly putting up a amicable front is gonna cause her that could very easily end with her breaking down.
‘progress is nonlinear’ doesn’t just mean there are fall backs and relapses, it also means sometimes you get ahead of yourself, LET THE WOMAN COOK. FUCK.
i don’t think she’s emulating lucy here j-man, “pleasant and personable” are traits manyyyy other people have, both in and out of this comic! trying to be nice doesn’t mean you’re trying to be a specific person who is nice. i just hope sarah doesn’t push herself too hard
It’s a trait that Joyce, her best friend and roomate also shares! And Joyce has managed to naturally attract a lot of people to her friend group even despite her upbringing (or because they find her growth endearing).
While Sarah’s 180 is not “healthy”, it’s perhaps a step in the right direction, I hope her friends can help her when she breaks down instead of being “Well, we knew Sarah couldn’t keep it up”
I also thought that it was quite like Joyce. It would also be a lot easier to emulate her roommate’s personality than someone that she doesn’t know very well. She got to know Joyce well whether she wanted to or not.
But Willis is in control of what they write, and if they find a character too one-dimension and not fun anymore they can write a story arc where that character changes.
They can and probably are – he’s been setting up Sarah’s character growth for awhile not.
However, this is pretty clearly set up as a problem, not a solution. There are enough indications of that for it to be clear she’s not just going to be all perky and cheerful from now on. This is going to implode and hopefully lead to real character growth.
Willis has been juggling an ensemble cast in comics for basically his entire life and DOA has been going for almost 15 years. It seems pretty obvious that this is just Sarah being so frustrated and disappointed that she’s forcing herself to stop being so prickly and there’s an expiration date on it.
Sorry, that was probably meant to be a reply to someone’s comment about someone saying that willis might’ve been tired of writing sarah as a grumpy puss all the time
Jacob: “Sarah you need to be more open with your feelings and be more personable Sarah!”
Jacob also, once Sarah does exactly that: *irritated*
Pick a fucking lane Jacob. So sorry that Sarah trying to make a change because you snub her and rubbed a new girl on her face is making you feel guilty or whatever, but Sarah is the last person you should be taking it out on.
It’s just like when Dorothy said maybe Joyce should be less fundie, and when she became a super-judgemental New Atheist it turned out that was bad as well for some reason!
1) I don’t think Jacob’s irritated so much as worried.
2) This might be more personable, but it’s not at all more open with her feelings. She’s just flipped what’s hiding her emotions around.
I disagree that she’s not being more open with her feelings.
She explained what she’s doing. Talked about the motivation for it and what she feels she’s missing out on. She also admitted that this is taking considerable effort.
All of that sounds really open to me, idk what else you want from her.
Obviously she’s supposed to have a massive monologue requiring huge speech bubbles that take up 75% of the available panel space. If a character doesn’t puke out their entire soul in the span of one strip, how are we supposed to comprehend them?
Obviously if you take what she says at face value, she must be completely open about her feelings, because you’re accepting that they’re what she says and nothing more.
But more, I think it’s pretty clear she’s not actually feeling as happy and cheerful as she’s putting on. That’s the part I meant, not necessarily the words she said to Jacob here. She doesn’t need a monologue, but if you think she’s not still masking here, I don’t know what to say.
Where in anything I said did you pick up the idea that I thought Sarah was actually as happy as she’s acting, or better yet, the idea that I don’t think she’s masking? You don’t need to know what to tell me, because you’re just making shit up wholesale. Get out of your head and read what people say, then go back into your head so you can start comprehending what you read.
I want to state that I hope Sarah and Joe eventually talk about trying to make a change in the face of people seeing you as only the person you no longer want to be.
THERE she is
Honestly impressive work from Sarah, I can’t imagine keeping up a really sunny act that long when I’m seriously not feeling it
It’d be way easier to just be marginally nicer than usual
You know, it’s normal to push yourself and figure out who you are in college. This is like her sister and Joyce being a loud atheist when away from old friends, or Joe finding kindness he didn’t know he was capable of, or Walky and Joyce standing up to parents, or Dorothy taking a day to decompress. She’s being clumsy about it, but it’s good exercise to get out of her comfort zone. Perhaps after she runs out of energy she will say to herself: “well that was too far, but what can I manage?” and come to a deeper understanding of who she is.
These characters benefit greatly from not being able to read our comments. If I had a hundred buzzing hornets in my ear condemning me to the deepest pits of Hell for minor changes in my facial expressions, I’d be a nervous wreck with anxiety.
I mean this isn’t really a condemnation just a genuine analysis of what this kind of behavior can lead to and hope that she still can grow from this experience instead of just hurting herself. (Also as a sidenote it is very much not a minor change in facial expression, it’s literally the opposite of how she usually looks).
Oh, boo fuckin’ hoo it doesn’t go away. That’s not the purpose of an apology and you know that. Everyone with an ounce of intelligence knows an apology doesn’t erase the behavior, it’s a fucking display of contrition. It’s an acknowledgement of the behavior, stop pretending anyone thought otherwise. Fuckin’ hell, some of y’all act stupid sometimes.
A lot of people do offer excuses over apologies, and some people became cynical about them all being the same. Like, he already did the thing. He can’t undo it, so should he not apologize? Everyone does things that harm others, and I know I prefer an apology when I’m on the receiving end of that.
Also, I’d hardly say what Jacob did is universally acknowledged as shitty.
I knew Jacob leaving with Lucy was the motivation for Sarah to do a complete 180 and become… well, a cross between Lucy and Joyce. Unfortunately, their personalities don’t mesh well with Sarah’s gruff attitude. Sarah has shown acts of kindness before (I’ll always love the end of book 1 when Sarah acknowledges Joyce as her “little sister” while Joyce is unconscious) but Sarah needs to take baby steps to show that she’s making an effort in being more sociable. Changing her entire personality is hilarious when compared to Jennifer, who tossed all her good character development out the window and arguably has become the worst version of herself, but I really doubt it’s sustainable and I think a single insult from, say, Mary, will cause Sarah to She-Hulk Out and tombstone someone.
Hopefully not before she sees some of the benefits of it, and realizes that while there are appropriate times to be angry, there are appropriate times to be kind.
Whatever Jacob’s intent is here: there are better, friendlier, less insisting ways to initiate this conversation.
I’m not in favour of his approach here.
I love that Jacob is so concerned about Sarah that he was the only one who seriously asked her what’s going on. I also love that Sarah answered him honestly. I want to believe in this friendship, but I think the definitive proof that she doesn’t have ulterior motives will really only come when Sarah and Lucy will have a face-to-face conversation.
I mean. I very much get her. I used to be a HUGE huge hater, pessimistic as hell, and incapable of making friends. And while it did take a lot of time to actually STAY with the changes…
“Fake it until you make it” is something that CAN actually work if you do it for the right reasons. It’s SO SO HARD and a lot of times you get home and hyperventilate because holy shit I talked to people while lowering my walls (or just talked to people like, at all), or kept my temper leashed, or whatever. But then you remember why you’re doing that thing and it stops being about suppressing stuff. It starts being about daring to be different and try for size new attitudes. See if they bring new things. Oftentimes, it does.
Of course there’s relapsing, and burnout is always a possibility, but then (since it brought positive stuff) you try again, and it goes better. And then at some point you find himself smiling at the grocer and genuinely liking small talk for the fleeting moment of pleasant connection it can be in this messy world of ours.
To be fair, it does take considerable mental energy to take an outlook, but over time (assuming it’s not genetic and just a change of habit), it gets easier until it becomes the default relaxed state.
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Stepford Wife Take Two
Oh Sarah. You deserve to be loved just for who you *are*. –Mr Rogers-ish
Nah, that’s greeting card stuff. While Mr.Rogers had really good messages, remember (as he always did) that his audience was *children*. Some people should make changes, even if it’s hard.
Maybe at some point Sarah finds some middle ground between this and hoe grouchy and grumpy she used to be. But for now, if she really wants to change, I am happy for her.
… that, um, typo there though.
Poor Sarah.
(Seriously, though, I laughed WAY harder than I should have. Best comment. 10/10 typo.)
She’s still not quite following Joyce’s good advice of going for small positive changes, as opposed to grand gestures…
That little regretful look on the last panel of the page after this linked one speaks volumes to her current behavior
so that’s not her breath, that’s smoke
and that is not cold flush: she’s melting from the inside out.
That’s not smoke, it’s steam!
now it all makes sense
well, it was pretty obvious that it’d be a toll on her energy but idk if she’d still act like this if it was just say, her and joyce in their dorm room since joyce ‘loves/accepts’ all sides of sarah and such
Oh, what? She’s just trying to be a better person? No way! I refuse to believe that!/s
Growth and change as a person? That’s not allowed in this webcomic!
I mean this less growth and more more changing an unhealthy coping mechanism for another.
Is it too early to start criticising Joyce for not being there for her?
Yes.
On the one hand, trying to be more personable and cheerful isn’t a bad thing.
On the other hand, doing it specifically by just kind of suppressing all negative thoughts and impulses rather than dealing with them is.
She’s been at this for like five minutes, you 2014 Toyota Camry.
It is growth, but it is also an over correction. She’s a child so mistakes like that are bound to happen. She’ll find a good balance given time, practice and the support of her friends. This is ABSOLUTELY a step in the right direction. She just decided to take it at a run and managed to 30 steps forward and 8 steps to the right onto someone else’s path. With a bit of course correction and some love from her friends, it won’t be that hard to realize she CAN be this sometimes and not kill herself with it (practice will also help with the amount of energy it takes) but that she doesn’t have to go QUITE this far to be emotionally available and friendly to be a better person.
It’s taking an effort? Wow how disappointing and awful of her! /s also
meanwhiel i’m sure there are ppl getting ‘worse’
not that he’s completely imploded/self harmed or anything but i imagine ethan’s current state probably isn’t healthy in the long run even if he is dating asher for now (makes me wonder if there would’ve been a cut to sarah dressing up ‘brightly’/in pastels to contrast his wardrobe lol)
That “Considerable” suggests she’s forcing herself to act this way and isn’t going to be able to keep it up. Maybe she’ll be able to “fake until she makes it” and it becomes easy for her, but more likely she’ll burn herself out and relapse.
It is good to see that the more nefarious suggestions from yesterday aren’t true – assuming she’s telling the truth here. Also good to see that Jacob’s not angry like some thought and that she’s not outraged that he’d dare to demand answers.
Still it’s hard to see this as long-term character growth for Sarah, even if she is sincere about wanting to make this change.
well, ppl do talk about going in to the ‘deep end’ tho in sarah’s case she probably needs to be somewhere between that and ‘baby steps’
Sarah, you quite literally acting like Patrick copying SpongeBob outta desperation, ya gonna burn out too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=errkWnCEv7E&t=20
I think she is trying to take a age from Aristotle’s works and cultivate virtue. Rather than simply win over Jacob, I interpret this strip as Sarah trying to turn her life around so she can win over people and form connections like Lucy does instead of being a grumpy loner who, in her mind, seems to have accidentally stumbled into friendship with Joyce (of course Sarah has worked hard to maintain that relationship).
Maybe she can fake till she makes it. You know, eventually have trust and amicability be second nature.
PS. Thanks for the Spongebob
honestly i think it’d be more believable if she had acted like carla and more ‘arrogant’ and such like “F*ck y’all i’ll say and do what i want just stay away from me if you can’t deal with it”
or like frank from always sunny: “I don’t care if anybody doesn’t like that about me. They don’t have to stick around!”
that said ,she should just start acting ‘amicable’ around teachers and stuff if she plans to be a future lawyer. if not ‘ladder climb’ like raidah but maybe not in quite as cunning/nasty of a way (although while most of the audience probably doesn’t have any raidah ‘fans’ i don’t think she’s necessarily done anything too bad in that regard although i imagine walky and lucy aren’t gonna be part of their ‘brunch group’ for longer, not that walky would’ve rly been able to use his ‘connections’ anywyas)
I think she’s *been* acting like that and it’s done nothing good for her, doubling down will just make it worse.
There we go.
But good for you, Sarah. For real.
Well, that’s honest.
Quick! Install more fans on the Sarah! She’s overclocked!
I’m already a fan of Sarah.
*rimshot*
WE NEED MORE! WITH RGB!
what is an RGB?
It’s a color code. Others are CMYK, HSL, HSB and HSV.
oh I know, but what RGB colors have to do with fans being able to cool Sarah down is what i don’t get XD
Pretty much nothin’, but people love to buy computers with completely unnecessary glowies on ’em.
Computer parts covered in RGB lights have been a thing for a few years now. They don’t do anything for performance, but more RGB = more clout when you post setup pics to /r/PCMR.
You can even get cases that are pretty much computer parts terrariums so you can show off all the shiny blinkies.
The difficulty these days is finding parts that don’t jump up and shout “look at meeee!!!”
Well, if you turn all your rgb to blue, it helps keep your computer cool. You know, like how turning it all red makes it go faster.
Red coffeemakers go faster too!
Add coolness factor
computer fans with colored LEDs. Ironically in a Hue ring.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
As a close enough alternative
I think Sarah has enough judges on her as it is
Ruth Gader Binsburg
I’m glad someone said it
Really Good Blowing™
…….she could use a really good blowing from Jacob HEYO
Oh, like her penis.
I mean honestly, fair enough. I strongly predict that this isn’t gonna last, and she’s gonna explode, but fair enough. I hope I’m wrong!
I’m hoping she’ll balance out. A few hours/days where it is very difficult, maybe a brief explosion, but eventually to where she can keep a bit better of an attitude, but without such an effort to go against her general nature (like, she can keep a neutral face, and still not like hanging out with many people, but she can also not dwell on how she’s into someone who doesn’t want the same thing as her)
i’d assume she’d only act like this in a group setting but still trade barbs with raidah if she came across them if not just neutral/avoid talking to ppl she’d dislike, like Jen even if she did tell her that she’s not gonna ‘respond to bait’ or whatever
0% chance of it holding at this level.
But that’s not to say that Sarah can’t become more open and welcoming in the long term. Its just not a thing that one can flip on overnight. Just gotta ease into it, and not expect things to change quickly.
Thing is, while this might be more welcoming, it’s not more open. This is just a different layer of emotional armor. She’s faking it. It’s not real.
It’s a more socially acceptable way of hiding her vulnerabilities.
It’s like Becky in a way: “Nobody likes a Debby Downer”
She’s holding back the hater bars from Meet the Grahams.
Some of the luster on old Jake here has faded. Dude is a little arrogant. Not everything a person does is about you bro.
I don’t know considering everything it is a reasonable assumption to make (plenty of commenters did a few days ago).
perhaps, but in this case, he’s right.
How? Sarah said her attitude change isn’t motivated by him. Do we just choose not to believe her then?
He might have been the final straw on the camel’s back, but I think that Sarah’s point in the comic is that this change has been brewing for a while. If anything, she might be more mimicking Joyce’s normally happy mood than Lucy’s disposition.
I do think that Jacob’s assumption that she is doing this to steal him away from Lucy is a bit rough to vocalize. It isn’t as if she went out of her way to be around him acting nicer, as they have the same friend group. It does seem like some of his inner emotions are leaking through where he doesn’t like this change for some reason or another. Maybe he preferred her cranky (even if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her) or something along the lines of guilt or frustration. So far, with his pushing, it feels like he is making it a Jacob problem rather than a Sarah problem. Like he is trying to get a reaction from her and she mostly keeps on ignoring it.
She says she realised the way she behaved wasn’t doing her any favours and that it’s not about “winning him back”. And I believe her. What she doesn’t say is why she realised the way she behaved wasn’t doing her any favours.
Um yeah, we choose not to believe her. It’s pretty common for characters in this strip, just like people in real life, not to be open and honest about their motivations.
That’s in addition, as Daibhid C says, to her not actually saying that it wasn’t motivated by him, just that she wasn’t trying to steal him from Lucy. That I’ll provisionally accept, though if she was, she wouldn’t tell him here anyway.
That feels a little messed up. Sarah said she’s making an honest attempt at change not motivated by a desire to get Jacob, and the response is we don’t believe you. The point I’m making is even if Jacob was the catalyst for this change she’s not doing it for him, her self improvement is genuine attempt for her to achieve her own happiness.
To me. Hearing her say that and remaining skeptical or believing she will burn out shows a lack of faith in your friend. Sarah said what she’s doing. Even if she’s lying to herself isn’t it better to trust her?
I mostly accept she’s not planning to get Jacob with this change, though she’s schemed before so and certainly wouldn’t admit here, so the possibility remains, but that’s different than “not motivated by him”, which she doesn’t say and which is almost certainly is.
So some of this is perhaps just a misunderstanding of your earlier statement to mean it wasn’t connected to him at all.
But I don’t think it shows a lack of faith to not expect someone to be able to sustain a radical personality change that they’re already admitting is a strain.
I mean you probably shouldn’t have faith in your friends when they are doing something you think it’s very unhealthy. Being unquestionably supportive it’s not very good either.
It’s not like Sarah owes anybody a full accounting of her motivations. She doesn’t have to justify herself.
She does not. But that doesn’t mean her friends can’t ask her.
She could tell Jacob to fuck off, but she didn’t.
Considering the timing, it would be quite a coincidence if it had literally nothing to do with Jacob and Lucy. It might not be a transparent attempt to win over Jacob, but it seems like this incident may have been the catalyst for greater change.
Thank goodness. I’ve really disliked Sarah’s attitude as of late but this is something good.
I hope she can keep it up enough so that it becomes natural.
Good on her
Exactly. She was often insufferable and pushy – which even coming from a good place is often toxic as hell.
except it probably won’t
what she’s doing is masking and doing it like this, to this degree, NEVER leads to anything good
Neurotypical confusing appearing social and happy with actually BEING social and happy smh.
Sometimes you fake something for so long it becomes habit.
Sure it might not work here but I hope it does because I’d rather like Sarah instead of disliking her
If liking requires that she completely changes her personality I think it’s better you just focus on characters you like already.
Nor completely, she has some good qualities, like loyalty and protectiveness but she’s allowed her extremely negative qualities to take over
I think she might actually be starting to understand that herself, for her sake I hope she does
Or you realize “I’ve been pleasant and accepting and I didn’t die. Maybe I like this.” And the fear recedes a bit.
This isn’t a healthy attempt at curving that attitude.
Probably not, seems exhausting too. But her wanting to change is good. And I hope she finds a healthy balance for herself at some point.
I had no issue with Sarah.
OK?
The last two panels are a summary of me in any complex social situation.
Pretty much, yeah. Except for the ones where I occasionally decide to just be completely honest about how depressed I am.
I don’t know what the look on his face is in the last two panels. If I were guessing, I’d say judgmental / skeptical. But like, isn’t she doing what he’s been encouraging her to do, is this the first time he’s thought about how much effort it takes.
I don’t think she’ll maintain this level of cheerfulness, and I don’t think she needs to. She just needs to take some of the edge off. Not all of it, Arnold’s going to find her snark charming.
Oh, that last comic reminded me… Lucy is taking over Wally’s friend group and Sarah’s crush out of spite. Too win.
That is not something that is true. Like, factually.
Yeah!
She’s taking over Walky’s friend group out of spite!
That is what I just said isn’t true.
One of you needs an Alice avatar.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/wally/
I don’t get what you mean by that.
Vanessa wrote “Wally” instead of “Walky”.
Not out of spite, I think, but more that she’s desperate to be a part of some friend group and doesn’t want to let go of even the tentative connections she’s made here.
Plus it’s her first break up and she doesn’t know how to behave.
Probably skepticism mostly, yeah. I think Jacob is maybe feeling a few mixed and petty emotions because Sarah’s not quite acting the way he expected.
I don’t know where the “not acting like he expected” thing come from, he is more concerned with the way this sudden and drastic shift it’s probably unhealthy for her mental health.
That’s not all he’s concerned about. Jacob states in this comic that he thinks Sarah’s positive attitude is an attempt to win him from Lucy. Just having that thought even if reasonable is a bit narcissistic. Implying that his actions should have significant effect on her. Motivating her to do something petty instead of assuming the best in Sarah. But Sarah is not in fact trying to steal him from Lucy she’s trying to be better for her own growth even if she’s just faking it till she makes it. I think that just threw Jacob off as well as any concern he has for her mental health. It’s fine if Jacob’s not a perfect person. It’s natural for him to be concerned that Sarah might be slighted as that would at least make things awkward for him and Lucy but in those assumptions he’s vocalized betray him either overvaluing his own importance to Sarah or that he thinks a little less of her than he should as a friend.
I hope I articulated this well. It’s fine if Jacob’s not a perfect person. I think he’s a better character for it.
I mean his actions DID have significant effect on her, we literally are seeing that right now. And he really did matter a whole to her (at least in sense that she did quite a lot to try to get with him even if she always backed off at the last minute) so I don’t think noticing that really is all that narcissistic. I have issues with the other points too but I am sleepy so I’m gonna end it here.
To me what smacks of narcissism isn’t the thought ‘is this about me?’, it’s saying it to her like he did. The thought is quite understandable. Following it through with ‘there is clearly enough here to justify demanding an answer from her, and asking this way will do more good than bad’, not so much.
He just described all the ways he was careless and deliberate in hurting her feelings.
Gave a non apology. but he cares about her mental health so ambushed her with Lucy next morning?
I don’t think this is what he’s been encouraging her to do, though she might think it is.
He wanted her to be more open and vulnerable. This is just a different kind of armor.
I do not anticipate that she can keep this going entirely, but, I do think that this is going to be part of a Sarah who is more balanced, that she can be a grump without dipping into the sometimes kind of despicable or manipulative.
Like, being a bit of a sourpuss on occasion is fine, but she was getting miserable and seeing it impact her life negatively when it was something of a constant for her.
I think she was burning herself out with the negativity. Obviously she’s not going to be this chipper forever, but I’d like to see her smile sometimes.
In need of extreme liquid cooling!
well thankfully it is still wintertime and hopefully plenty of snow out in Bloomington
i think they all had a little liquid cooling last night maybe
Is this going to end like Ned Flanders losing it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL_5EksSDIU
I sure hope not. Especially not the part about winding up in the mental hospital T_T
Shifting your attitude over night after getting cucked is never believable.
Steady growth into becoming a better version of yourself is more natural. I’m starting to believe this is her new idea of widrawing herself to cope and it’s that feels sad.
It’s like that one shen comic of the blob deciding to come out of It’s box shell only to get decked and the it closes itself off in a harder box and say “Never Again.”
i’m sure some ppl are looking forward to the eventual ‘burnout’ but it’s more of a gesture if she were to be a friend to ppl who need it/doesn’t dislike as opposed to just everyone/faking a whole personality in general, so it’s more of a meaningful ‘gesture’ if sarah reaches out/comforts someone awkwardly going through something considering how everyone sees sarah as antisocial
“I discovered the one trick doctors hate that actually works, and I ain’t sharing. That slight pettiness is all that’s holding me together at this point.”
I’d really like to believe Sarah is being genuine with this, but considering it happened literally overnight after she got effectively cucked, its not starting off strong so Jacob’s skepticism is warrented.
That said, I really hope Sarah gets something out of this. Its definitely true her current way hasn’t done her much favors, but flipping overnight isn’t the ideal either.
You’ll get your growth, Sarah. Just keep on keepin’ on.
When she says the effort is considerable, I believe she is being completely genuine.
I think they mean genuine in the sense she is being honest about this not being about winning Jacob back.
Goddamn, she really *can’t* win with some folks-outside the comic, and in.
As bad as her behavior sometimes was before, I don’t suppose it occurs to Jacob, Lucy, or the various haters here his much this sort of reaction (she’s doing it because she got cucked! For chrissakes.) validates the cynical, wary skepticism that fueled the behavior others disliked her for?
I don’t see any haters on these comments? Mostly people being concerned or that think this is a good thing. Jacob is being skeptical because completely changing your entire personality overnight it’s concerning and with that last panel it is clear it’s already taken a lot out of her
Name the haters. You can’t.
*shrug* it’s subjective, but ‘she’s doing this because she got cucked!’ qualifies to me. Though to be clear, I meant to include a line about ‘critics and haters’, rather than suggesting it was only haters.
I kind of think it’s the opposite actually. She was distant and cynical and guarded because she didn’t want to get hurt. And yet those qualities prevented her from getting close with Jacob, and she got hurt anyway. Maybe she’s starting to feel like it’s not worth being so guarded all the time.
She was that way in part because she had already been hurt, and it would appear by her words with Jacob that it doesn’t take effort not to be cynical and guarded-it takes effort to be what others are (frequently) telling or suggesting to her she should be.
I don’t think that what that panel mean, I think she is answering honestly that doing this is talking a considerable amount of mental effort from her.
So now she’s pretending to be happy and friendly and cheerful and not at all hurt by Jacob and Lucy. Definitely less guarded, not just a different approach.
She’s just doing the same thing, but instead of negativity, it’s “positivity”. I can’t see this as a good thing, it doesn’t register as that. It’s just as sad as how she was before (as in, why she does it, not her herself.)
I love you Sarah and your pointy chin
Man already getting a little exhausted with this. To lighted things up everyone give me your wrong predictions of how this plot point gonna end.
Ooo, wrong predictions?
Something with Sarah screaming that Lucy is the wrong flavour of Black to be with Jacob, and hair pulling.
Turns out Sarah’s abilities to doing well in her classes was directly tied to her misanthropy, and so she really starts to struggle academically.
It turns out Sarah’s face isn’t used to smiling and her teeth aren’t used to be exposed to air so much. She develops jaw issues and her teeth start to rot.
Sarah’s surly attitude was part of a tradeoff used in a bargain among gods, and the whole thing falls through with her personality change. In two strips, el Chupacabra will appear and being preying on the campus.
Jacob will accidentally wander onto the set of a student’s amateur film and become a sensation online. Lucy will fuck a cashier at the local movie theater and not tip her. Parsqualio will hire Sarah to review their products, which will result in her making enough money to buy an old car within the month.
Inadvertently, Sarah will win him “back”.
Sarah becomes a motivation speaker who teaches people from all walks of life how to maintain a cheerful disarming facade through all of life’s most horrific traumas.
You are the only good one. You win.
So after seeing this bit… I’m kinda wondering why Jacob cares.
I guess he was concerned that Sarah was trying to manipulate her way into his arms but she’s officially denied that as a goal.
So at this point, I feel like he should just back off now? So what if it’s taking a mental toll on her? Frankly, he should have thought of that before he decided to get with Lucy.
He can’t control her feelings any more than she can control his.
Jacob’s concern seems… poorly timed.
But if Sarah becoming a better person with better coping mechanisms comes out of this clusterfuck, then that’ll make it all worth it.
Not at all a rediculous suggestion given what Joyce did to him. And how she lied to him. I’m not Al all surprised his mind went there. And I do think this is good for Sarah even if it’s off to a rough start
Well Sarah just said that they were friends, so it’s reasonable for him to talk to her like a friend.
He cares because that’s the kind of person he is, this isn’t that complex.
I think he feels at least a little bit guilty for what happened at the party.
Maybe a bit of a less extreme change to start with, but yeah, longer she does this, the easier it gets
“fake it til you make it” as they say tho it does seem like she’s overcompensating with her current attitude instead of finding some kinda balance or even just being like 20% less grumpy, i can’t imagine walky toning down his sarcasm too much either even if he’s grown/changed too (tho idk if he’d admit it like “i refuse to let this traumatize me!”)
or the convo joyce/jen had at the doctor’s office “no one’s gonna let you/forget who you were before”
“fake it until the new defensive mechanism becomes second nature, like the old one”
To be fair, Sarah is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay overdoing it.
It’s the exact opposite of her normal shitty attitude.
It might be easier to way over-do it until she finds a realistic balance. To try and gradually change it might make it too easy to slip back into her usual norm. By making such a drastic concerted difference, it is probably easier for her to not slip back into the norm. If she does follow through with this, I have a feeling that it either will swing back and forth until she finds a new normal or slowly tone down from this extreme until she finds a lower level where both people tolerate it and she can handle it.
well there was that one comic where she sat next to jacob and just smiled/didn’t say anything, so might be better to be schadenfreude/imagine other ppl miserable and just letting things hpapen naturally
Overcorrect to drag the average back up faster.
That’s how it works, right?
To be fair, many people overcorrect when they are trying to change or overcome habitual behavior. It can take a while to adjust to something not so drastic.
there we go
Watch, there’ll be steam coming out of her ears in a minute.
Or her being too honest to where she’s like “if you’ll excuse me i have to break 2-3 sex toys to balnce things out”
See folks, this is why it’s dangerous to confuse unhealthy coping mechanisms with genuine growth, Sarah’s gonna be burned out within the hour!
I’m interested in why this is seen as unhealthy. Difficult, yes, but what are Sarah’s other options? Continuing to be miserable and guarded while all her friends move on into relationships does nothing for her and likely just leads to more misery for her. Changing as a person is what she believes will help her get what she wants and make her happier. It takes a lot of mental energy but the alternative is to just stay sad. Sometimes a slow and gradual change that’s more palatable for your supposed friends doesn’t actually help you as much as you want or need.
Besides the very real possibility of emotional burnout there is something called “toxic positivity” where disregarding one negative emotion in favor of more socially presentable positive ones can end up very badly.
“This is why it’s dangerous”
What’s dangerous here? It might be difficult? She might fail at first? It might be something that needs workshopping to find the right middle ground that both makes her happier with her life and doesn’t burn her out.
Buddy there’s no danger here, yet.
The danger we are talking about is the mental exhaustion that constantly putting up a amicable front is gonna cause her that could very easily end with her breaking down.
That’s literally called life.
No? Like, we must have very different understanding of what life is.
Everyone has a different understanding of what life is. Is that a surprise?
Or she’ll find a happy medium, grow and change, and find a way to have a life that doesn’t mean locking everyone out and sinking into a dark hole.
‘progress is nonlinear’ doesn’t just mean there are fall backs and relapses, it also means sometimes you get ahead of yourself, LET THE WOMAN COOK. FUCK.
This is where Sarah finds out “changing yourself for other people doesn’t *quite* work that way.”
i don’t think she’s emulating lucy here j-man, “pleasant and personable” are traits manyyyy other people have, both in and out of this comic! trying to be nice doesn’t mean you’re trying to be a specific person who is nice. i just hope sarah doesn’t push herself too hard
It’s a trait that Joyce, her best friend and roomate also shares! And Joyce has managed to naturally attract a lot of people to her friend group even despite her upbringing (or because they find her growth endearing).
While Sarah’s 180 is not “healthy”, it’s perhaps a step in the right direction, I hope her friends can help her when she breaks down instead of being “Well, we knew Sarah couldn’t keep it up”
I also thought that it was quite like Joyce. It would also be a lot easier to emulate her roommate’s personality than someone that she doesn’t know very well. She got to know Joyce well whether she wanted to or not.
I try to always run my CPUs at 100%. That way there’s nothing for any malware to run on.
I don’t think that’s how computers work?
(I’m no computer science expert, but I wreckoj how assembly execution actually on the CPU works is no way THAT simple)
*wreckon
Well at least we know what she’s thinking here.
I wonder if the author has gotten a little burned out on Sarah always being negative and wants to branch out.
I don’t think so?, This is clearly a storyline concerning Sarah wanting to change his she’,s been but going about it a bit too strongly.
But Willis is in control of what they write, and if they find a character too one-dimension and not fun anymore they can write a story arc where that character changes.
They can and probably are – he’s been setting up Sarah’s character growth for awhile not.
However, this is pretty clearly set up as a problem, not a solution. There are enough indications of that for it to be clear she’s not just going to be all perky and cheerful from now on. This is going to implode and hopefully lead to real character growth.
Willis has been juggling an ensemble cast in comics for basically his entire life and DOA has been going for almost 15 years. It seems pretty obvious that this is just Sarah being so frustrated and disappointed that she’s forcing herself to stop being so prickly and there’s an expiration date on it.
i imagine it’d be amusing writing a ‘struggle’ either way buti t’s not like sarah’s new personality is all that ‘unique’
… What?
Sorry, that was probably meant to be a reply to someone’s comment about someone saying that willis might’ve been tired of writing sarah as a grumpy puss all the time
There we go
Jacob: “Sarah you need to be more open with your feelings and be more personable Sarah!”
Jacob also, once Sarah does exactly that: *irritated*
Pick a fucking lane Jacob. So sorry that Sarah trying to make a change because you snub her and rubbed a new girl on her face is making you feel guilty or whatever, but Sarah is the last person you should be taking it out on.
Uh… just because it’s what you wanted someone to work on doesn’t make it not disconcerting when they do a full 180 overnight?
It’s almost like context and nuances is important.
You can be disconcerted wihout being abrasive about it like Jacob is in this strip and the previous.
It’s just like when Dorothy said maybe Joyce should be less fundie, and when she became a super-judgemental New Atheist it turned out that was bad as well for some reason!
1) I don’t think Jacob’s irritated so much as worried.
2) This might be more personable, but it’s not at all more open with her feelings. She’s just flipped what’s hiding her emotions around.
I disagree that she’s not being more open with her feelings.
She explained what she’s doing. Talked about the motivation for it and what she feels she’s missing out on. She also admitted that this is taking considerable effort.
All of that sounds really open to me, idk what else you want from her.
Obviously she’s supposed to have a massive monologue requiring huge speech bubbles that take up 75% of the available panel space. If a character doesn’t puke out their entire soul in the span of one strip, how are we supposed to comprehend them?
Obviously if you take what she says at face value, she must be completely open about her feelings, because you’re accepting that they’re what she says and nothing more.
But more, I think it’s pretty clear she’s not actually feeling as happy and cheerful as she’s putting on. That’s the part I meant, not necessarily the words she said to Jacob here. She doesn’t need a monologue, but if you think she’s not still masking here, I don’t know what to say.
She’s admitting that it’s an act though. She admits it’s taking a lot of effort and that it’s something she’s putting on.
That’s still being open.
And neither Taffy nor I said she’s not masking, so there’s nothing you really need to say on that.
Where in anything I said did you pick up the idea that I thought Sarah was actually as happy as she’s acting, or better yet, the idea that I don’t think she’s masking? You don’t need to know what to tell me, because you’re just making shit up wholesale. Get out of your head and read what people say, then go back into your head so you can start comprehending what you read.
I was under the impression that most of the comments section could read eyebrow-language tbh.
I’m a socially inept shut-in and I can still read cartoon eyebrows better than a lot of people, apparently.
I can only imagine her brain sounds like a PC fan when you run something that’s really intense on memory and RAM.
A leaf blower with coil whine.
Can Sarah be overclocked without burning out?
THERE’S the Sarah we know and love. XD
Oh she is going to snap like a string and then that string will clothesline everyone in range
I want to state that I hope Sarah and Joe eventually talk about trying to make a change in the face of people seeing you as only the person you no longer want to be.
THERE she is
Honestly impressive work from Sarah, I can’t imagine keeping up a really sunny act that long when I’m seriously not feeling it
It’d be way easier to just be marginally nicer than usual
AH’M GIVIN’ ‘ER ALL SHE’S GOT! IF YE PUSH ‘ER ANY HARDER, THE WHOLE THING’LL BLOW!
https://youtu.be/QYqXSlPmMJs?t=10
(I wish the time code URL trick was frame-accurate.)
You know, it’s normal to push yourself and figure out who you are in college. This is like her sister and Joyce being a loud atheist when away from old friends, or Joe finding kindness he didn’t know he was capable of, or Walky and Joyce standing up to parents, or Dorothy taking a day to decompress. She’s being clumsy about it, but it’s good exercise to get out of her comfort zone. Perhaps after she runs out of energy she will say to herself: “well that was too far, but what can I manage?” and come to a deeper understanding of who she is.
My, what an age to get smarting done in.
These characters benefit greatly from not being able to read our comments. If I had a hundred buzzing hornets in my ear condemning me to the deepest pits of Hell for minor changes in my facial expressions, I’d be a nervous wreck with anxiety.
I mean this isn’t really a condemnation just a genuine analysis of what this kind of behavior can lead to and hope that she still can grow from this experience instead of just hurting herself. (Also as a sidenote it is very much not a minor change in facial expression, it’s literally the opposite of how she usually looks).
Masking, not just for Autists anymore!
It never was tho.
Jacob: I’m concerned that your sudden complete change in personality is because I did something shitty, and if so I apologise.
The comments: Man, what an absolute bastard.
Apologising for doing something shitty doesn’t make the shittiness go away.
I mean, imagine:
“Jacob did something that is universally acknowledged as shitty.”
“But he apologised!”
Oh, THEN it’s ok.”
Oh, boo fuckin’ hoo it doesn’t go away. That’s not the purpose of an apology and you know that. Everyone with an ounce of intelligence knows an apology doesn’t erase the behavior, it’s a fucking display of contrition. It’s an acknowledgement of the behavior, stop pretending anyone thought otherwise. Fuckin’ hell, some of y’all act stupid sometimes.
People do seem to view apologies as somehow making excuses and not showing genuine remorse for something. It’s bullshit.
A lot of people do offer excuses over apologies, and some people became cynical about them all being the same. Like, he already did the thing. He can’t undo it, so should he not apologize? Everyone does things that harm others, and I know I prefer an apology when I’m on the receiving end of that.
Also, I’d hardly say what Jacob did is universally acknowledged as shitty.
Yep it ain’t easy
so much love for sarah. changing is hard.
The more she does it, the easier it gets.
Good for Sarah to try to make a genuine change and treat everyone better.
I knew Jacob leaving with Lucy was the motivation for Sarah to do a complete 180 and become… well, a cross between Lucy and Joyce. Unfortunately, their personalities don’t mesh well with Sarah’s gruff attitude. Sarah has shown acts of kindness before (I’ll always love the end of book 1 when Sarah acknowledges Joyce as her “little sister” while Joyce is unconscious) but Sarah needs to take baby steps to show that she’s making an effort in being more sociable. Changing her entire personality is hilarious when compared to Jennifer, who tossed all her good character development out the window and arguably has become the worst version of herself, but I really doubt it’s sustainable and I think a single insult from, say, Mary, will cause Sarah to She-Hulk Out and tombstone someone.
Hopefully not before she sees some of the benefits of it, and realizes that while there are appropriate times to be angry, there are appropriate times to be kind.
Sarah continues to be my favourite (I think, I like a lot of these characters)
Whatever Jacob’s intent is here: there are better, friendlier, less insisting ways to initiate this conversation.
I’m not in favour of his approach here.
“expertly faking it” it is, then lol
I love that Jacob is so concerned about Sarah that he was the only one who seriously asked her what’s going on. I also love that Sarah answered him honestly. I want to believe in this friendship, but I think the definitive proof that she doesn’t have ulterior motives will really only come when Sarah and Lucy will have a face-to-face conversation.
Well, she is being open and honest. so at least she’s trying.
I mean. I very much get her. I used to be a HUGE huge hater, pessimistic as hell, and incapable of making friends. And while it did take a lot of time to actually STAY with the changes…
“Fake it until you make it” is something that CAN actually work if you do it for the right reasons. It’s SO SO HARD and a lot of times you get home and hyperventilate because holy shit I talked to people while lowering my walls (or just talked to people like, at all), or kept my temper leashed, or whatever. But then you remember why you’re doing that thing and it stops being about suppressing stuff. It starts being about daring to be different and try for size new attitudes. See if they bring new things. Oftentimes, it does.
Of course there’s relapsing, and burnout is always a possibility, but then (since it brought positive stuff) you try again, and it goes better. And then at some point you find himself smiling at the grocer and genuinely liking small talk for the fleeting moment of pleasant connection it can be in this messy world of ours.
I do hope she “makes it.”
Sometimes — nat always, but sometimes — “fake it ’til you make it” is the same as putting your reps in.
To be fair, it does take considerable mental energy to take an outlook, but over time (assuming it’s not genetic and just a change of habit), it gets easier until it becomes the default relaxed state.
… but she IS trying.
Honestly weirdly happy that the discussion turned to wherever what Sarah is doing is healthy rather that arguing about Jacob.
Ohhhh, I get it now. She’s not copying Lucy so much as following her advice:
“Don’t kill our cringe, kill the part of you that cringes.”
heart is in the right place