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The most efficient way to the heart is through the stomach, especially if you have a hooked or curved blade, as it’s the path of least resistance.
On a more serious note, yeah, I’m pretty sure just about everyone finds cooking skills sexy, I used to doubt the whole “the path to a man’s heart is through the stomach” thing until one time a coworker brought in cookies she’d baked and after one bite I was ready to get down on one knee and propose on the spot, I wasn’t thinking I just knew I needed those cookies in my life and saw the path to get there instinctually. Thankfully she wasn’t around so I had time for rational thought to take hold before I got myself fired or something over cookies, but still, cooking is a damn powerful attractor.
I am instinctively attracted to people who give me food or drink. I am also attracted to competent people. And I am attracted to people who smell good. And I am attracted to people that do what M!a described so well. If they then also give me what comes pretty close to oral orgasms, I’m entirely sold.
As with all of my attrractions, especially the instinctive ones, I work to rationally analyze them (because I don’t entirely trust my instincts). I cannot find a flaw in my motivation here. People who feed me are good to me, they bring me joy, I trust them, and so they’re attractive. What’s not to like?
Skills, maybe. Someone putting a bunch of time and effort into making a thing for you and being good enough at it for the thing to be really really good? Hell yeah.
(it’s still pretty hell yeah if they aren’t necessarily very good at it, but primate brain love tasty food.)
I don’t know about men’s hearts, but it certainly has worked with sapphic women.
My own skills in the kitchen are certainly one of the things that appeals to my wife. And in turn, her baking skills, while rarely employed, are incredibly hot. And it isn’t just reciprocal – many of our friends have commented on it as well as recently as last week (when I cooked the main course for a Halloween party).
I see your Chef and raise you Chef!, with Lenny Henry and Caroline Lee-Johnson.
Janice: Ohhh… ohhh… gorgeous.
Gareth: Could you be critical, please?
Janice: How can I be critical with this in my mouth?
Gareth (modestly): That’s what all the girls say to me.
I remember watching that on PBS a long time ago, I’m thinking just after the turn of the Century, in the early 2K’s. One episode I remember was doing a salmon dish that was tasting “Prawny.” I’m not sure how salmon can taste like large shrimps, but that was what was in the script and on the TV. Also this was broadcast in SD, so might have been around the end of the’90s.
Damnit Doc. That’s just a character she was playing. And her clothes were already half-off. I was hoping for notes on how Colin Jost seduced her so I could either off him or join them.
Interestingly enough the Ancient Greeks believed that it wasn’t the heart but the liver which was the source of one’s emotions, and given it’s proximity to the stomach that WOULD make a lot more sense hahaha XD
they also thought the brain was a radiator, to cool the blood.
which makes sense, sort of, given the info they had! (people in the past weren’t stupid, they just didn’t know things we do.) so much of the blood supply goes to it, it’s positioned and structured (at the macro/visible level – all those folds) to get rid of heat efficiently, like a home or auto radiator or a modern CPU cooler…
i think some community colleges might have a cooking class, tho i don’t know how many retired ppl or older adults that already graduated would have to sign up for college again as students versus just paying a fee and coming in on weekends or so that might be cheaper than a cooking class
That said certifications aside and stuff i’m sure in a place like this ver of Indiana where amazigirl can exist, he can start up some food truck business or so lol
well other than making ‘unique’ dishes, a lot of recipes are following instructions. “Pro” chefs look down on some ‘cheap’ ingredients when they’re in like cooking competitions like chopped or so but feels like a ‘true’ one can make anything work
I somehow have access to the black cookery magic that allows me to not just cook, but BAKE by eyeballing ingredients and substitutions.
“Eh close enough that should work.”
*turns out mostly okay*
I started where Joe was and went to culinary school 4 years later. A lot of cooking starting out is according to instructions. You have to learn how things work
He is going to be a chef?
Joyce, do not lose Joe; those that can actually cook(not just prefab stuff like Mac n cheese, or frozen chicken) are rare, and should be treasured.
I used to like a mac and cheese restaurant I went to in college, but it closed. Also, though, the main draw was in different ways to dress up mac and cheese, so I think Joyce would object.
See, I have to disagree, by Oklahoma state law. Joyce is all for other people having their own unique lives and preferences, and she’s not afraid to take what she wants if it’s on the menu. She’d go to one of those places and get the no-frills regular mac, and maybe try some of a friend’s special kind if it’s offered, but I don’t think she’d turn down the entire visit.
I don’t think she’d turn it down, but I think she might feel that kost of the menu is *wrong.* Not that’d she approach all food that way, but she’s very passionate about mac and cheese.
Back before she got long Covid and lost so much weight she couldn’t stand up, my wife used to make homemade Mac and Cheese with a from-scratch bechamel and cheddar sauce. And before I was hit with a truck I used to make from scratch liver and onions with whichever livers were on sale at the grocery store that week. Beef, veal, pork, or chicken it didn’t matter it went into the skillet. I would also wrap bacon around chicken livers back when we could afford bacon and chicken livers in the same week.
And also ‘cereal bars’ but there probably are ‘cheaper’ restaurants that use like frozen nuggets and brand names for like the kids menu rather than some made to order things
Lambeau Field has a Pack and Cheese stand. Won a Food Network competition. It’s about 25 yards from my seats. Of course they sell Mac and cheese with sliced bratwurst.
He probably gets the like barely anything that just looks embarrassing if you even try to grow it out. Which, I can sympathize. I’m in my mid 40’s now and I still cannot manage more than aggravated peach fuzz.
Nice! I wonder how he’ll pursue that because IU doesn’t have a culinary arts program but maybe there’s one nearby. I’m hoping so anyways because it’d suck to be Joyce if he moved and Dorothy goes to Yale next year (not giving up hope someone will snap her out of the funk she’s in).
Honestly, if Joe’s cooking interests are connected in experimenting with foods Joyce would enjoy, I don’t know that a culinary arts program would be the best fit for him. Perhaps he cook take a local cooking class outside of an official course and major in something that could help with turning his ideas around cooking into a business. (Like something that gets more commonly “safe” foods in more restaurants, or integrates those ideas with different cuisines or something.)
A normal restaurant that’s more or less completely unremarkable, except every meal comes with a couple of plain chicken strips on the side, in case you end up not liking the main thing.
If he wants to be a professional chef though, he’s gonna need to learn to cook things Joyce won’t like at some point. Besides, what about things he likes and may want to make that Joyce doesn’t want?
Well, my whole point was he might not want to go the traditional “professional chef” route because both it and a culinary arts program might not align with his goals in the field. And I did talk about taking cooking classes in general, which would fit those practical skills you’re talking about, so…
Nowadays chefs gotta learn things like business classes, PR, personnel management, food science, health codes…
Depends how big (and how independent) you want to go!
I was talking about degrees but this is VERY cool and could definitely help him learn at least the basics while he gets his actual degree in something else (probably hospitality or business).
When I was Joe’s age I used to work during the university holidays in the kitchen of a commercial catering firm, to save up money to live on through the rest of the year.
I really doubt that Joe actually wants to be a professional cook.
It’d have to be something filling, that doesn’t make either party queasy or have a lingering odor. Usually a nice home-cooked curry is a safe bet, or a thick and juicy steak, maybe some kinda pasta. Pasta’s a little riskier though, because too much red sauce and it’s acid reflux time, but most white sauces are dairy-based, so it’s kind of a coin flip sometimes.
Going to a small pub that offers pubby food like chicken fingers and soft pretzels, sitting in the corner by the window and watching the world go by together.
I have the opposite: The messier the better. If the end result looks like the aftermath of a foodfight as well as a good reason to take a shower together (or a dip in a lake / the sea), then you already know each other very well
I associate NYC life with romance. Sushi around St. Mark’s (that’s where the good stuff is) at night, dessert in Little Italy, as Italian gelato is objectively better than American ice cream. Black coffee and *good* bagels open faced with some manner of quality smoked fish the next morning
This unironically makes a ton of sense for Joe as a person. He has difficulties with intimacy and vulnerability because the divorce really scarred him, and so he wants to keep some level of emotional remove. All his desire for human contact is channeled through a sort of aesthetic pleasure.
But you know what you can do that gives people some happiness while remaining entirely professional? Cooking them a great meal and watching them go “oh this was incredible, you’re so good at this.”
This! Joe is a good guy who cares about people but who has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable (even though he’s made tons of progress). It makes sense that he would want to explore this side of himself.
Deep inside himself, Joe really really likes making people feel pleasure. This is a way to externalize that slutty part of him that wants to be “a machine that induces orgasms” into something more socially understood.
And he only figured this out because his sweetness to Joyce got her to give him a tugjob after making her food. It’s such good character writing.
Might not work all that well, for some diners. For some reason this reminded me of Sheckley’s Pas de Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer.
although I appreciate the desire, cooking, like drawing, doing it for pleasure is something completely different than doing it professionally for money.
Joe, Joe, Joe, might we stop for a second to consider that maybe it was not a previously undiscovered talent at cooking discovered by producing…uh, mac and cheese out of a box what got you happy times with Joyce but rather a show of kindness and understanding towards her very particular eating quirks?
At the time of this writing, there is some retail space available for rent nearby on W 6th Street.
The future home of “Joe Rosenthal’s Mac N Cheese Palace”, now hiring former Galasso employees.
Man, everyone’s jumping on the Not A Real Chef After Making Mac-n-Cheez train. Is NO ONE going to mention the number of unemployed/underemployed chefs out there with a pile of student loans, all thanks to Food Network and Corporate Colleges of America?
Good Eats is one of the best shows to come out of Food Network. I never cared much for many of the others, but Alton Brown’s “eh, should be fine” approach and Bill Nye-esque delivery are a perfect combo.
Obviously this will lead to Joe opening an eatery and fighting with Galasso, but the question is what will he call it?
Joe’s Mouth Fun
Joe Subs (If You Give Him Money)
Pickles and Stuff to Put Pickles In
Let Me Put Things in Your Mouth to Make You Happy (Ladies Get 2 for the Price of 1)
Career Guidance Counselor: “Joe, why in particular do you want to become a chef?”
Joe: “Well, 100% of the time I’ve cooked for someone, I’ve gotten handjobs.”
also guess who just FUCKING GRADUATED YESTERDAY. YA GIRL OFFICIALLY GOT TGAT FUCKIN BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN PSYCHOLOGY bongo, IN A FANCY ASS CANISTER AND ALL. After 5, long ass years. Fuckin,,,,finally
Can you all lighted up a bit? He is just figuring out stuff and finding something he might actually be passionate about why is everyone so eager to find something to be wrong with it.
Yeah I am talking everyone who is being like “He just made Mac and cheese one time and now think he think he can make it his career” and “Wait until he find it out how bad the work is” like why need to be such a downer about it?
I for one, love it. I only quit being a pro cook because my health gave up – it made me really happy for a long time. Is it a difficult job? Yeah. But most people who stick to it do it because it’s a passion. Getting to make other people happy feels awesome, and it’s a strong motivator.
If he’s found a calling in the kitchen, I super wanna see the storyline unfold :33!
I’d say it’s a mix of doubting his motivations, and having bad experiences. Waitressing and fast food jobs have my respect – they’re really hard and often super unrewarding.
Being a chef is a different game. Cooks yearn for the mines (the stars know I still do.) The dynamism and challenge of it is unparalleled :33 And Joe is brilliant!! He just needed to find the right quest!
I can’t say this for anyone else, but when I first made mac ‘n cheese, from a box, I felt like god damn Emeril Lagasse. Nowadays, I can make it from scratch, but I get where he’s coming from.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
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uh-oh, did Joe find out about Yukihira cooking that, when fed to someone, makes their clothes come off?
I think he found out about Joyce’s mac and cheese fetish.
Now he wants to put more things in her mouth.
Who can blame him
(Not Dorothy, that’s for sure
Because she also wants to put things there, you see)
She already did.
After all, she was the one who began the Mac and Cheese fetish in the first place.
It /is/ possible he just realized he enjoys cooking for people for not-necessarily-sexy reasons.
Epic reveal that Dumbing of Age is, in fact, the prequel to Shokugeki no Souma and Joe’s just Souma’s great-grandfather
Oh no he found about Food Wars
Hehe…the reference.
Joe has a new kink and it’s Joyce’s fault. That Slipshine is gonna go fucking hard.
Just wait until he sees the movie Chef (which all people interested in the culinary arts are required to watch).
Not only can you seduce Joyce by preparing pasta, it works on Scarlett Johansson too!
Making perfect aglio e olio is finicky work…
The most efficient way to the heart is through the stomach, especially if you have a hooked or curved blade, as it’s the path of least resistance.
On a more serious note, yeah, I’m pretty sure just about everyone finds cooking skills sexy, I used to doubt the whole “the path to a man’s heart is through the stomach” thing until one time a coworker brought in cookies she’d baked and after one bite I was ready to get down on one knee and propose on the spot, I wasn’t thinking I just knew I needed those cookies in my life and saw the path to get there instinctually. Thankfully she wasn’t around so I had time for rational thought to take hold before I got myself fired or something over cookies, but still, cooking is a damn powerful attractor.
I can’t imagine finding cooking skills sexy. Handy? Absolutely, but hardly sexy.
I got way more mileage from my cooking skills than from my looks. 🤭
Technically you’re right; it’s not cooking that’s sexy.
What is sexy is effort. Attention to the details. Inspiration. Presentation. And focusing all of these on creating something just for HER.
Oh, and eating really, really good food that she didn’t have to make herself.
I am instinctively attracted to people who give me food or drink. I am also attracted to competent people. And I am attracted to people who smell good. And I am attracted to people that do what M!a described so well. If they then also give me what comes pretty close to oral orgasms, I’m entirely sold.
As with all of my attrractions, especially the instinctive ones, I work to rationally analyze them (because I don’t entirely trust my instincts). I cannot find a flaw in my motivation here. People who feed me are good to me, they bring me joy, I trust them, and so they’re attractive. What’s not to like?
You never watched my wife melt as her other husband talked about how to make a roux.
Skills, maybe. Someone putting a bunch of time and effort into making a thing for you and being good enough at it for the thing to be really really good? Hell yeah.
(it’s still pretty hell yeah if they aren’t necessarily very good at it, but primate brain love tasty food.)
I don’t know about men’s hearts, but it certainly has worked with sapphic women.
My own skills in the kitchen are certainly one of the things that appeals to my wife. And in turn, her baking skills, while rarely employed, are incredibly hot. And it isn’t just reciprocal – many of our friends have commented on it as well as recently as last week (when I cooked the main course for a Halloween party).
I see your Chef and raise you Chef!, with Lenny Henry and Caroline Lee-Johnson.
Janice: Ohhh… ohhh… gorgeous.
Gareth: Could you be critical, please?
Janice: How can I be critical with this in my mouth?
Gareth (modestly): That’s what all the girls say to me.
I remember watching that on PBS a long time ago, I’m thinking just after the turn of the Century, in the early 2K’s. One episode I remember was doing a salmon dish that was tasting “Prawny.” I’m not sure how salmon can taste like large shrimps, but that was what was in the script and on the TV. Also this was broadcast in SD, so might have been around the end of the’90s.
… hate to tell you, but that’s the exact scene I just quoted!
Aw damn, but I need to watch those again…
Damnit Doc. That’s just a character she was playing. And her clothes were already half-off. I was hoping for notes on how Colin Jost seduced her so I could either off him or join them.
Okay, but panel 4 is really cute
Yes! The whole thing is really cute. Panel 4 is especially cute.
How did Joe cook up this idea?
it’s not sex *work*, it’s a sex *calling*
I feel like a sex caller would just be some sort of sports commentator for the bedroom.
“Ball two, high and outside”
(: thinking of Harry Cary and the baseball commentary from the Meatloaf song Paradise By The Dashboard Lights.
Sorry, not Harry but Phil Rizzuto. But i like the reference
See I was hoping someone would reply about Joe’s good bat control but I guess it just wasn’t going to be xD
So… what Joyce wants Dorothy to be?
Give me the play-by-play!
Moving from casual sex to ranked competitive sex.
Find a Sex Job you love, and you’ll never Sex Work a Sex Day in your Sex Life.
Is THAT what “call-girl” means?
As you earthlings often say, the fastest way to the heart is through the stomach.
For reals tho I bet he make a real good shakshuka ^^
I mean the fastest way is probably between the fourth and fifth ribs, but I guess you are less likely to hit bone your way.
Interestingly enough the Ancient Greeks believed that it wasn’t the heart but the liver which was the source of one’s emotions, and given it’s proximity to the stomach that WOULD make a lot more sense hahaha XD
they also thought the brain was a radiator, to cool the blood.
which makes sense, sort of, given the info they had! (people in the past weren’t stupid, they just didn’t know things we do.) so much of the blood supply goes to it, it’s positioned and structured (at the macro/visible level – all those folds) to get rid of heat efficiently, like a home or auto radiator or a modern CPU cooler…
Interesting, how would they make sense of (non-lethal) head injuries and the effects thereof in that model?
ineffective cooling in the CPU can result in some real nasty shit like your operating system falling apart at the seems 0-0
Hate it when I’m walking through Ancient Greece and some guy’s
all “Α, όχι, εγκέφαλό μου!”, like just get an ice pack, bro.
And all I can think of is the quantity of ancient grease I scraped/scrubbed/hosed out of the frat house kitchen as a pledge.
The Augean Stables got nothin’ on that.
Does IU have a culinary department?
They have a whole Food Institute, apparently.
i think some community colleges might have a cooking class, tho i don’t know how many retired ppl or older adults that already graduated would have to sign up for college again as students versus just paying a fee and coming in on weekends or so that might be cheaper than a cooking class
That said certifications aside and stuff i’m sure in a place like this ver of Indiana where amazigirl can exist, he can start up some food truck business or so lol
There are a LOT of food trucks around here, relative to the size of the city anyway.
You know, I like that for him.
Me too, I really do!! I went awwww.
Joe naked, only wearing a ‘Kiss the Chef down there’ apron.
“Kiss the C—k”
Stop reading Joyce’s diary.
Diary, that’s her slash fic.
didn’t know Joe could cook
He can’t. He made Kraft mac & cheese following the instructions.
well other than making ‘unique’ dishes, a lot of recipes are following instructions. “Pro” chefs look down on some ‘cheap’ ingredients when they’re in like cooking competitions like chopped or so but feels like a ‘true’ one can make anything work
The trick is learning how to improvise, and what things work together.
Some of the red sauce disasters I’ve made absolutely did not work.
I somehow have access to the black cookery magic that allows me to not just cook, but BAKE by eyeballing ingredients and substitutions.
“Eh close enough that should work.”
*turns out mostly okay*
It’s a rare power that must be wielded responsibly.
I started where Joe was and went to culinary school 4 years later. A lot of cooking starting out is according to instructions. You have to learn how things work
Joe didn’t know it, either. But he just discovered how happy he was, cooking for Joyce (and that was _before_ Joyce had her way with him).
I really love the idea that Joe got a tug’n’squeeze so good that it changed his career forever
joyce is a powerful woman
It is said that St. Peter could heal the infirm in the manner of Christ—so St. Joyce healeth the penis
He is going to be a chef?
Joyce, do not lose Joe; those that can actually cook(not just prefab stuff like Mac n cheese, or frozen chicken) are rare, and should be treasured.
On the other hand, a lot of professional chefs will simply not want to cook elaborate stuff after a long day of work.
On the other other hand, stuff with the ingredients not touching is probably not necessarily that elaborate.
Joyce is just a budding charcuterie board nerd
I accept your charcuterie AU as canon, but you didn’t need to call Masumi a nerd about it.
Lol (I am a nerd tho)
truth. my partner cooks like a dream and i super can’t. thank dog we go good together or i’d be making bad decisions just to keep eating well
Maybe he can open a restaurant called “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (Prepared According to the Instructions)”.
You joke but instant ramen restaurants are a thing that exists
There’s a mac and cheese restaurant on my way home from work.
I used to like a mac and cheese restaurant I went to in college, but it closed. Also, though, the main draw was in different ways to dress up mac and cheese, so I think Joyce would object.
A college restaurant would probably have some very basic mac’n’cheese and then hide it with all the toppings.
So, basically exactly what Joyce wants already.
I was going to say that you could figure out a higher quality scalable recipe but Joyce likes the neon stuff.
See, I have to disagree, by Oklahoma state law. Joyce is all for other people having their own unique lives and preferences, and she’s not afraid to take what she wants if it’s on the menu. She’d go to one of those places and get the no-frills regular mac, and maybe try some of a friend’s special kind if it’s offered, but I don’t think she’d turn down the entire visit.
I don’t think she’d turn it down, but I think she might feel that kost of the menu is *wrong.* Not that’d she approach all food that way, but she’s very passionate about mac and cheese.
Back before she got long Covid and lost so much weight she couldn’t stand up, my wife used to make homemade Mac and Cheese with a from-scratch bechamel and cheddar sauce. And before I was hit with a truck I used to make from scratch liver and onions with whichever livers were on sale at the grocery store that week. Beef, veal, pork, or chicken it didn’t matter it went into the skillet. I would also wrap bacon around chicken livers back when we could afford bacon and chicken livers in the same week.
And also ‘cereal bars’ but there probably are ‘cheaper’ restaurants that use like frozen nuggets and brand names for like the kids menu rather than some made to order things
Honestly not the silliest restaurant name I’ve heard.
Lambeau Field has a Pack and Cheese stand. Won a Food Network competition. It’s about 25 yards from my seats. Of course they sell Mac and cheese with sliced bratwurst.
Maybe he can experiment with creating safe foods for Joyce and/or expanding what she enjoys in ways that feel comfortable.
Yes, I think expanding what Joyce enjoys in ways that feel comfortable is definitely on the menu.
Loves her to the point of invention. This is adorable omg
Oh put that thing down Danny; you know you haven’t got facial hair.
Because if you did, you’d know by now that Sal likes “beard burn”. xD
He probably gets the like barely anything that just looks embarrassing if you even try to grow it out. Which, I can sympathize. I’m in my mid 40’s now and I still cannot manage more than aggravated peach fuzz.
25 years later, Dan is like Grizzly Adams and Sal can’t get enough beard scritches
Being able to serve Joyce food does not mean you are a chef.
Well the old adage was given a new twist… Curse you, Danny Wilcox.
So uh… where’s the line to sign up for the job Danny is describing?
You could always be an editor for a mukbang vlogger 8D;
Joe’s shirt does look like a hard-boiled egg so the chef thing seems right.
The dude is doing life drawing classes and is now taking up the culinary arts. Aiming to become a real renaissance man huh?
Nowadays, it just doesn’t pay to only be good at one thing.
He’s practicing to be a nantaimori chef…
(A sous-she chef?)
Out, out, and take your vile puns with you!
Leonardo di Horni.
I think he just sat in on the first drawing class to keep Joyce company. She’s been since without him.
You can tell Danny is just being optimistic because shaving any actual hair with a shirt on is itchy as fuck XD
Not if you do it right.
Nice! I wonder how he’ll pursue that because IU doesn’t have a culinary arts program but maybe there’s one nearby. I’m hoping so anyways because it’d suck to be Joyce if he moved and Dorothy goes to Yale next year (not giving up hope someone will snap her out of the funk she’s in).
To be fair, at the rate things are going “next year” will be sometime in the mid 2030s, so Joyce still has some time
Honestly, if Joe’s cooking interests are connected in experimenting with foods Joyce would enjoy, I don’t know that a culinary arts program would be the best fit for him. Perhaps he cook take a local cooking class outside of an official course and major in something that could help with turning his ideas around cooking into a business. (Like something that gets more commonly “safe” foods in more restaurants, or integrates those ideas with different cuisines or something.)
A normal restaurant that’s more or less completely unremarkable, except every meal comes with a couple of plain chicken strips on the side, in case you end up not liking the main thing.
If he wants to be a professional chef though, he’s gonna need to learn to cook things Joyce won’t like at some point. Besides, what about things he likes and may want to make that Joyce doesn’t want?
Well, my whole point was he might not want to go the traditional “professional chef” route because both it and a culinary arts program might not align with his goals in the field. And I did talk about taking cooking classes in general, which would fit those practical skills you’re talking about, so…
Nowadays chefs gotta learn things like business classes, PR, personnel management, food science, health codes…
Depends how big (and how independent) you want to go!
Exactly, that’s the idea with him staying at IU to major in something else that could benefit him in a culinary career.
Yeah, that’s true. There’s lots of options that could be related to business rather than strictly culinary school.
Having a degree in business or hospitality can still be quite helpful if you want to be a chef.
Oh, that’s true! I didn’t even think of a hospitality degree. There IS one of those at IU.
imagine if he somehow enters a local cooking contest and becomes viral on there lol
Hey, the university is way less likely to frown on that than the last video he was on that went viral.
Well, there’s this.
In Read, no less.
I was talking about degrees but this is VERY cool and could definitely help him learn at least the basics while he gets his actual degree in something else (probably hospitality or business).
Joe’s cooking arc? I wonder what he’ll make next
He’ll have to follow the instructions on the box to the letter if he wants a repeat of yesterday.
Joe, no, she LIKES her mac’n’cheese bad.
When I was Joe’s age I used to work during the university holidays in the kitchen of a commercial catering firm, to save up money to live on through the rest of the year.
I really doubt that Joe actually wants to be a professional cook.
There you go again, projecting your own hatred of food on everyone else in existence. God forbid a guy find satisfaction in something.
Most people hate working catering, that isn’t a cooking thing, that’s a catering thing.
So Joes adorable now, right? I know it’s been happening for a long time now but seriously. Adorable.
AWWWWWW
I don’t care what anyone else says, this is really cute and inspiring.
Seems Joyce and Joe are really good for each other, and Danny and Sal are good for each other too
Still waiting for when this all implodes on them
AWWW <3
The Chef Joe arc is a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.
…OK, here’s a question game, for anyone who wants one:
Q: What is your idea of the most romantic date food?
For me, nothing beats a tuna melt. Somebody made me a tuna melt on sourdough toast I’d be putty in their hands…
<3
It’d have to be something filling, that doesn’t make either party queasy or have a lingering odor. Usually a nice home-cooked curry is a safe bet, or a thick and juicy steak, maybe some kinda pasta. Pasta’s a little riskier though, because too much red sauce and it’s acid reflux time, but most white sauces are dairy-based, so it’s kind of a coin flip sometimes.
So yeah, I’m gonna go with steak and veggies.
Delish! :-9
Going to a small pub that offers pubby food like chicken fingers and soft pretzels, sitting in the corner by the window and watching the world go by together.
Oh, heaven! Especially on a rainy night…
soft pretzels dipped in butter and mustard one of my favorite snacks ^^
HOT soft pretzels!
Froyo, but specifically at a froyo place with a toppings bar.
Every topping under the sun!
It cannot be too messy or filling (ha ha) and it would be neat if you could easily feed each other it – I would have to say sushi or fondue.
I have the opposite: The messier the better. If the end result looks like the aftermath of a foodfight as well as a good reason to take a shower together (or a dip in a lake / the sea), then you already know each other very well
Watermelon and mangoes are my favorite messy, juicy food. Big ripe grapefruit fresh out if the tree are great too.
Oh, fondu, melted at the table, with a dry white wine and a hot mug of tea…
Starry nights, eating at a picnic table outdoors…
Bliss!
Anything shared.
Sharing is the best. Like Ethiopian food: you sit on the floor and feed each other. Often without utensils. Perfect!
Stir fry with a side dish of any type of meat and some wine. Probably red velvet cake for desert…mainly because that’s what I would make.
Wow, yes please!
I associate NYC life with romance. Sushi around St. Mark’s (that’s where the good stuff is) at night, dessert in Little Italy, as Italian gelato is objectively better than American ice cream. Black coffee and *good* bagels open faced with some manner of quality smoked fish the next morning
You just described the perfect date!
lots of ideas come to mind,
chicken nuggets or burgers or whatever available at the food court at a Dave and Busters before playing arcade games
or ordering some ramen with lots of chashu pork before watching anime ^^
Arcade games AND animé for the win!
This unironically makes a ton of sense for Joe as a person. He has difficulties with intimacy and vulnerability because the divorce really scarred him, and so he wants to keep some level of emotional remove. All his desire for human contact is channeled through a sort of aesthetic pleasure.
But you know what you can do that gives people some happiness while remaining entirely professional? Cooking them a great meal and watching them go “oh this was incredible, you’re so good at this.”
This! Joe is a good guy who cares about people but who has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable (even though he’s made tons of progress). It makes sense that he would want to explore this side of himself.
Deep inside himself, Joe really really likes making people feel pleasure. This is a way to externalize that slutty part of him that wants to be “a machine that induces orgasms” into something more socially understood.
And he only figured this out because his sweetness to Joyce got her to give him a tugjob after making her food. It’s such good character writing.
Might not work all that well, for some diners. For some reason this reminded me of Sheckley’s Pas de Trois of the Chef and the Waiter and the Customer.
I don’t know what brand Danny is using, but in my experience electric mowers are terrible on soft beard-hair.
although I appreciate the desire, cooking, like drawing, doing it for pleasure is something completely different than doing it professionally for money.
Indeed. I have an uncle who used to own a restaurant, and he told me the adage “Chefs never cook at home” is soooooo true. XD
Joe, this is wonderfully romantic, but I think you need to know what you’re getting into, here.
God that’s the restaurant biz in a nutshell right there. I used to bus tables. Back of house is hell on Earth.
…wow. I was gonna recommend “Kitchen Confidential” but this… this be some hard shit yo.
And that, kids is how Joe accidentally started his journey to becoming a food porn Youtuber
Joe, Joe, Joe, might we stop for a second to consider that maybe it was not a previously undiscovered talent at cooking discovered by producing…uh, mac and cheese out of a box what got you happy times with Joyce but rather a show of kindness and understanding towards her very particular eating quirks?
I don’t think it has anything to do with cooking skills and more finding something that actually make him fell good and rewarding.
You cooked mc and cheese once, i feel you’ll need a bit more to become a chef
Yes, that is the point of studying and training! We all start somewhere.
At the time of this writing, there is some retail space available for rent nearby on W 6th Street.
The future home of “Joe Rosenthal’s Mac N Cheese Palace”, now hiring former Galasso employees.
FOOLS!
Joe cannot complete his chef apprenticeship and become the master, until he defeats Galasso in single iron-chef combat.
This is so darn cute
Man, everyone’s jumping on the Not A Real Chef After Making Mac-n-Cheez train. Is NO ONE going to mention the number of unemployed/underemployed chefs out there with a pile of student loans, all thanks to Food Network and Corporate Colleges of America?
…thank fucking gawd I dodged THAT bullet.
Good Eats is one of the best shows to come out of Food Network. I never cared much for many of the others, but Alton Brown’s “eh, should be fine” approach and Bill Nye-esque delivery are a perfect combo.
Obviously this will lead to Joe opening an eatery and fighting with Galasso, but the question is what will he call it?
Joe’s Mouth Fun
Joe Subs (If You Give Him Money)
Pickles and Stuff to Put Pickles In
Let Me Put Things in Your Mouth to Make You Happy (Ladies Get 2 for the Price of 1)
The irony is that, now, women will be rating him on a restaurant review website.
(This Is) Your Cup ‘o Joe
Roast ‘n All
Clappin’ Clam
Fire and Forget Stuffed Bakery
Joyce’s Buns
Stuffin’s
Joy-Joe’s Bizarre Restaurant ^^
THEY HAVE A DREAM
Also, Joyce’s def gonna fix that spaghetti and reduce it to its original ingredients. It’s kind of her thing.
So this chapter is about people trying to shed their pasts, but no one is listening?
Maybe make that “discovering new aspects of themselves.”
Fun fact. University of Wisconsin-La Crosse fired an administrator who was making combined cooking /porn videos. https://apnews.com/article/wisconsin-college-chancellor-porn-34ae309c9815ebd4fdfcc13c2707a7fe
Career Guidance Counselor: “Joe, why in particular do you want to become a chef?”
Joe: “Well, 100% of the time I’ve cooked for someone, I’ve gotten handjobs.”
Six years from now, Joe opens his own restaurant. He invites women to come taste of his…product…and rate him.
Restaurant name: “The List”. Or maybe “To-Do”.
“So what inspired you to become a Michelin-star chef, Mr Rosenthal?”
“A girl I like gave me a handy because I made her mac & cheese.”
Now now Dan, plenty forms of sex work are perfectly legal. It’s basically just the one that’s not, in the us.
also guess who just FUCKING GRADUATED YESTERDAY. YA GIRL OFFICIALLY GOT TGAT FUCKIN BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN PSYCHOLOGY bongo, IN A FANCY ASS CANISTER AND ALL. After 5, long ass years. Fuckin,,,,finally
Hell yeah! That’s awesome. Congrats.
Congrats!
[APPLAUSE]
THAT’S SO COOL OMG, go you!1!
Joe, he wants to put his sausage in the mouths of multiple women.
Alt text: I understand Danny. I don’t like my face with beard.
Can you all lighted up a bit? He is just figuring out stuff and finding something he might actually be passionate about why is everyone so eager to find something to be wrong with it.
I believe everyone here is happy for Joe. I guess the only problem is Danny. Or did I misunderstand your comment?
Yeah I am talking everyone who is being like “He just made Mac and cheese one time and now think he think he can make it his career” and “Wait until he find it out how bad the work is” like why need to be such a downer about it?
Cause his idea is bad and he should FEEL bad!
You joke but it really fells like that is what everyone is saying.
I for one, love it. I only quit being a pro cook because my health gave up – it made me really happy for a long time. Is it a difficult job? Yeah. But most people who stick to it do it because it’s a passion. Getting to make other people happy feels awesome, and it’s a strong motivator.
If he’s found a calling in the kitchen, I super wanna see the storyline unfold :33!
Yes exactly! Thanks you! I don’t know why everyone suddenly turned super pragmatical and cynical all of a sudden.
I’d say it’s a mix of doubting his motivations, and having bad experiences. Waitressing and fast food jobs have my respect – they’re really hard and often super unrewarding.
Being a chef is a different game. Cooks yearn for the mines (the stars know I still do.) The dynamism and challenge of it is unparalleled :33 And Joe is brilliant!! He just needed to find the right quest!
I can’t say this for anyone else, but when I first made mac ‘n cheese, from a box, I felt like god damn Emeril Lagasse. Nowadays, I can make it from scratch, but I get where he’s coming from.
My copy of book 13 arrived in the mail today! I can’t wait to see what all the characters have been up to over the last year.
Doing a re-read with the physical book sounds super cool! :33 Glad for you