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Your cartoon guide to the American governement!
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that is the harsh reality of some men on this planet.
Not every man know what to say when and even the best slips up and falls on his face. Women, y u so complicated!
women aren’t complicated at all, follow these simple steps:
1: Be honest (about how you feel)
2: lie your ass off (about what you want)
3: Treat them like a goddess (but don’t spoil them)
4: ask them out
in that order
Did…did you just suggest long-term friendzoning as a viable strategy to get women? Like seriously?
The way I see it, “lying your ass off about what you want” = presenting yourself as a platonic friend when you have sexual designs = acting like, because you helped her move or whatever, she now owes you sex/a date. And it annoys every woman I know.
Unless you are not suggesting friendzoning! Then I’m just confused.
That doesn’t seem compatible with “be honest about how you feel,” though – I figured it was more what you want out of life. Although really I took the list as a joke “be honest, lie your ass off, treat her like a goddess but don’t spoil her, and by the way, actually ask her out”; the first two parentheticals just reflect under what circumstances the contradictory bits of advice are typically given.
Hay you guys, I think that we should rein it in. this constant jockeying for the worst pun has me equis-tioning whether we’re just stall-ing to avoid the tail end of this trail of thought. Its becoming a night-mare, and while I’m not one to nose in on anyone’s horsing around, but it’s time to be a stable influence and put this one out to pasture. You guys may cry with long faces “Neigh! We won’t let it die!” but at this point, it’s just getting my gallop.
Well to be fair it is sort of dark. And more importantly she mussed up her hair – how could anybody recognize that?
…Naah. The *actual* explanation is that when he looks at Amber, all he sees are those sexy sexy glasses. Beyond that there’s a sort of vaguely Dorothy-like silhouette, but really, all he’s seeing are those hawt sexy glasses. (It’s sort of a ‘my tits are down here’ thing.)
Amazi-Girl is lucky that Danny is about as dense as a neutron star, because her attempt to hide her secret identity is about as transparent as Ed Wood’s attempt to hide the fact that Bela Lugosi was dead prior to shooting Plan 9 From Outer Space.
The emphasis on the word ‘SILLY’ is not entirely justified. I choose to interpret this as foreshadowing of a Sal/Billie relationship.
On a more relevant note, it appears that Amazi-Girl will just have to date Danny, causing him great confusion, since she just rejected him a moment ago. He will dismiss this confusing circumstance, just as he dismisses certain similarities between Amazi-Girl and Amber.
Alternatively, Danny will burst out laughing and say “I’m joking! I knew that you and Amber were the same person all along!” At this point he will be punched in the face by Amazi-Girl (regardless of whether she is or is not Amber), in an ironic twist after his earlier conversation with Tony.
Amazigirl knows she should beat him up for trying to con an innocent frat boy so that Amber can nurse him back to health…. What? Don’t look at me like that if my Heroes blurred the lines of morality any further I’d be writing a bible or something similiar.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that, yes, lolly is so edda 2.0 that she's even wearing her mother's wedding dress as she gets married to Her Dad (But Taller)
online transformers collectors: i hope ss86 megatron doesn't have big ol' treads on his back!!!
ss86 megatron: *treads fold up inside the legs*
online transformers collectors: HIS LEGS ARE TOO CHUNKY >>>:((((
the big disconnect that happens here is between the correct message for D politicians (especially in red states), which is “you’re right, this isn’t who you are, you’re better than that, vote differently next time”
and the actual truth, which is yes you did, fuck you
Raw milk has the opportunity to do the funniest thing
Ferric Fang@fangferric.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
RFK Jr celebrated the release of the MAHA report by downing raw milk shooters in the White House with influencer Paul Saladino. Hazards of raw milk include Listeria, Salmonella, Campylobacter, Yersinia, E. coli O157:H7, and now-- avian flu.
"ESPECIALLY willa!"
"dad, has it come to mind yet that if i was correct, actually, about belle being cuckoo for murderpuffs, that she was in fact trying to kill me, your human daughter, all this time"
"sorry, still only really care about the fish"
fuck Target's sad beige pride. You don't have to like rainbows to be loud and proud; AND you can support a currently-unemployed trans artist! (many more at link) www.teepublic.com/user/chekhov...
Rolling Stone is one of the few news outlets that know how to write headlines.
Rolling Stone@rollingstone.com ⋅ 3d
Report: Elon Used So Much Ketamine He Couldn’t Pee Right
The New York Times reports that the billionaire experienced some negative effects from frequent drug use while stumping for Trump last year
…wow
Wow…Danny is reaaaally good at talking girls out of being into him…
idk if you know this. but that is not a skill.
that is the harsh reality of some men on this planet.
Not every man know what to say when and even the best slips up and falls on his face. Women, y u so complicated!
women aren’t complicated at all, follow these simple steps:
1: Be honest (about how you feel)
2: lie your ass off (about what you want)
3: Treat them like a goddess (but don’t spoil them)
4: ask them out
in that order
Did…did you just suggest long-term friendzoning as a viable strategy to get women? Like seriously?
The way I see it, “lying your ass off about what you want” = presenting yourself as a platonic friend when you have sexual designs = acting like, because you helped her move or whatever, she now owes you sex/a date. And it annoys every woman I know.
Unless you are not suggesting friendzoning! Then I’m just confused.
That doesn’t seem compatible with “be honest about how you feel,” though – I figured it was more what you want out of life. Although really I took the list as a joke “be honest, lie your ass off, treat her like a goddess but don’t spoil her, and by the way, actually ask her out”; the first two parentheticals just reflect under what circumstances the contradictory bits of advice are typically given.
You are a frightening person.
And THIS, laddies and jellyspoons, is why the divorce rate is sky-high.
Holy shit, man.
She probably also has some pretty cool electronics and a sweet rack. Not…not that I would know…I’M NOT ANYONE YOU KNOW PERSONALLY.
All I’m saying is whoever it is is probably really good in the sack and totally open to a heterosexual carnal relationship.
Your right. Ultra Car is totally into car-nal relationships.
Sal, on the other hand, prefers motorcycles.
And Dina has a thing for dinosaurs(maybe) and doors
I like how dinosaurs are the maybe in this statement.
Well, how are we supposed to find out? They’re all extinct.
Really? Eaten any chicken lately?
^That’s why they’re extinct.
I would date dina in a heartbeat, girls got it goin ooon
Someone likes the submissive types.
…or your just REALLY into dinosaurs.
I wonder if Amber’s going to have a very horse voice tomorrow.
neeigh!
why the long face amber?
Looks like we have a neigh-sayer in the comments today.
I’m gonna Requestrian we put these to a stop before the puns get too lame.
Are you saying that we cantor that we shouldn’t?
Why is everyone trotting out the horse puns?
Because they put a little hitch in my giddyup.
You shouldn’t look a gift-pun in its mouth.
Because it behooves them to do so, of course.
These comments are a night-mare
I think they’re mane-ly just for fun.
The mane thing we need to do is stop before it gallops out of control.
Your right we need to keep a tight rein on these puns.
Aw, and we’re having such a mare-ry time.
I think we’ve just about ridden this as far as it will go. :et’s saddle down now.
Next person to make a horse pun is getting popped with a Colt .45
Hey, you just made a horse pun. Granted it’s also the name of the gun but still…
No need for violence, we’re just fillying around.
I doubt you could throw the can far enough to reach me.
No, a .45 not a 40 oz! Now git! Cause Ah wouldn’t be caught dead stallion fer yah when he comes back wit that pistol!
You people are just beating a dead horse
You people are just beating a dead horse
Hay you guys, I think that we should rein it in. this constant jockeying for the worst pun has me equis-tioning whether we’re just stall-ing to avoid the tail end of this trail of thought. Its becoming a night-mare, and while I’m not one to nose in on anyone’s horsing around, but it’s time to be a stable influence and put this one out to pasture. You guys may cry with long faces “Neigh! We won’t let it die!” but at this point, it’s just getting my gallop.
@Math-yew: +5 for ya!
Math-yew wins forever. He’s Captain M: The Pun-Master
Or at least severely pommeled.
I’m assuming you aren’t serious, but for the people who don’t get it, hoarse≠horse. And if you were serious, well, now you have a new word.
Not sure if serious or just foaling around…
I couldn’t remember how to spell hoarse, so I just saddled for the word horse instead.
At least you ponied up, and told the truth.
And didn’t get her nickers in a twist abou tit.
Hey, Danny shows a social awareness greater than that of a box of staples! Good Job Danny, it is growth!
…Really Danny? Really?
WHAT?
Glad Danny didn’t take being rejected to badly.
So, Amber is Danny’s second choice? That reminds me of Deadshot having to kill Batman and then Bruce Wayne.
OH MY GOD DANNY YOU ARE BLIND. THAT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION.
No, no, he could just be an idiot.
What do you mean “could be”?
Well to be fair it is sort of dark. And more importantly she mussed up her hair – how could anybody recognize that?
…Naah. The *actual* explanation is that when he looks at Amber, all he sees are those sexy sexy glasses. Beyond that there’s a sort of vaguely Dorothy-like silhouette, but really, all he’s seeing are those hawt sexy glasses. (It’s sort of a ‘my tits are down here’ thing.)
Wow. Danny is actually worse with girls than I was at that age. It takes some doing, I can tell you.
When you were his age, you looked like an old man.
Think that might have been a factor?
Well, some women prefer older men.
Mostly elderly women.
Nah, it’s my observation that the older he gets the younger his companions tend to be.
Welp, this ship looks like its goin down. Someone get the lifeboats!
Oh, don’t be so negative. But just in case, ready the lifeboats.
Danny…just…Jesus Christ…
Danny’s just Jesus?
That would explain how willing Danny was to take a beating without putting up a fight.
No Danny is not Jesus. Everyone knows Jesus works in a Toy Store in San Francisco area!
Different timeline, remember?
So does Jesus/Jeshua works in a department store in Milwaukee?
Amazi-Girl is lucky that Danny is about as dense as a neutron star, because her attempt to hide her secret identity is about as transparent as Ed Wood’s attempt to hide the fact that Bela Lugosi was dead prior to shooting Plan 9 From Outer Space.
We made that joke yesterday…and I just imagined your comment as a Family guy style cutaway gag.
the Neutron Star or Plan Nine From Outer Space?
the latter.
Well I was not online yesterday so how was I suppose to know that a Plan 9 joke was made.
There should be disclaimers about these types of things.
How long did Dorothy put up with this, I wonder?
I like to imagine when Danny got to much for her She put on a fake moustache and he’d spend the next few hours wondering what happened to Dorothy
You win.
Seconded. Only I imagine a Beagle Puss.
Well at least he’s being honest. A trait that most caped crusaders find endearing.
And now he realizes the hole he’s dug.
This can only end in hilarity.
and disaster.
Disasrity? Hisaster? Hilaster?
and just like that Yoto realized that Hitler is a foreshortened anagram of a combination of hilarity and disaster….apropriate.
You know, I don’t think either of them thought their cunning plans all the way through here.
It’s been a learning experience for all of us.
Danny seems to have a talent to cockblock himself…
Its a gift really
Pirate Love Ship: Fire the cannons on the Danny/Amazi-Girl ship
Second fiddle to a superhero? There are worse things.
Yeah, you could be related to a creepy dude who have the hots on you.
At least he admits his stupidity. That puts him above a good half the planet.
All we need now is Billie to walk in on them and try an unmask ‘Sal’.
That would certainly put everything Danny’s said and done into perspective.
Todays shortpacked = my prediction for what’s gonna happen at the end of this
17 hours of non-stop sex? That’s kinda optimistic ain’t it?
I mean…that’s what every guy hopes a first date’s gonna be but…come on…
uh oh, he’s about to figure it out and feel even dumber
Or not figure it out at all and be dumber still.
She should tell him to buy herself flowers and chocolate and maybe Diablo 3.
The emphasis on the word ‘SILLY’ is not entirely justified. I choose to interpret this as foreshadowing of a Sal/Billie relationship.
On a more relevant note, it appears that Amazi-Girl will just have to date Danny, causing him great confusion, since she just rejected him a moment ago. He will dismiss this confusing circumstance, just as he dismisses certain similarities between Amazi-Girl and Amber.
Alternatively, Danny will burst out laughing and say “I’m joking! I knew that you and Amber were the same person all along!” At this point he will be punched in the face by Amazi-Girl (regardless of whether she is or is not Amber), in an ironic twist after his earlier conversation with Tony.
now i want a spin-off comic titled “amazi-girl’s boyfriend danny wilcox”.
Look at panel one and ignore the dialogue. It’s beautiful.
As a Mad-style fold-in?
Amazigirl knows she should beat him up for trying to con an innocent frat boy so that Amber can nurse him back to health…. What? Don’t look at me like that if my Heroes blurred the lines of morality any further I’d be writing a bible or something similiar.
what are those things sticking out of her belt?
Amazi-rangs?
I would love for those to be amazi-rangs.
Nice cape work in panel 1, Mr Willis.