Dumbing of Age Book Fourteen

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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October 2, 2026

Calm your tits

by David M Willis on October 2, 2025 at 12:01 am
  • 01 – Not-So Smooth Criminals
└ Tags: alice, ruth

Discussion (192) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    October 2, 2025 at 12:01 am | #

    Ruth can get real hot, can’t she? 😛

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      October 2, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

      (NG, no, get to sleep before you make any more stupid puns)

      • Tequila Mockingbird
        Tequila Mockingbird
        October 2, 2025 at 11:24 am | #

        Probably good idea. Probably don’t want to start a… flame war. 😏

        • NGPZ
          NGPZ
          October 2, 2025 at 12:52 pm | #

          too late :p

          pineapple pizza is good

  2. Shiro
    Shiro
    October 2, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    That is such a diplomatic way to put that, Alice

  3. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    October 2, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    ……..Don’t trust Alice.

    • Dot
      Dot
      October 2, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

      But then who are we going to go ask?

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      October 2, 2025 at 12:12 am | #

      Even when she’s ten feet tall?

      • JR
        JR
        October 2, 2025 at 1:06 am | #

        I dunno, go ask.

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        October 2, 2025 at 3:25 am | #

        Well no, because that’s not Alice, that’s Um from Umbrage.

      • DJTsurugi
        DJTsurugi
        October 2, 2025 at 6:19 am | #

        I’ve just had some kind of mushroom… and my mind is moving low. ~<3

      • JA
        JA
        October 2, 2025 at 6:49 pm | #

        Only if she’s also made of radiation.

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 12:47 am | #

      i mean she never got an explanation/told about the suicide pact but i don’t think she has bad intentions/would be trying to break up ruth and jason (tho we haven’t seen him in a while either)

    • Bryy
      Bryy
      October 2, 2025 at 1:54 am | #

      Alice clearly loves to stir shit (although in a less self-aware and malicious way than Jennifer), but everyone knows about Ruth and Jen. This is clearly Alice coming down from the initial high of wanting Billie to be a good person.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        October 2, 2025 at 3:03 am | #

        I think she still wants that, but she doesn’t want to be burned again.

        • BorkBorkBork
          BorkBorkBork
          October 2, 2025 at 2:37 pm | #

          I think she’s checking to make sure there aren’t any hidden red flags, along with assessing a potential romantic rival.

          If we get like two more strips of Alice and Ruth, then nothing, ten bucks says the next time we see them is at the start of the next morning, waking up together.

          • Bryy
            Bryy
            October 2, 2025 at 7:49 pm | #

            I’m waiting to see if Jennifer trolling for recommendations comes back around to her, and from who.

  4. Svankensen
    Svankensen
    October 2, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    The gasoline soaked clothes are in the special bag.

    • Svankensen
      Svankensen
      October 2, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

      Damn, the hovertext beat me to it.

  5. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    October 2, 2025 at 12:02 am | #

    oh my

  6. Nono
    Nono
    October 2, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

    Okay, so Alice knows that Billie goes by Jennifer for some people at least.

    • Bittersweet
      Bittersweet
      October 2, 2025 at 12:05 am | #

      Does she go by Billie or Jennifer now? I’ve been confused since Alice showed back up and she just went back to being referred to as Billie by her.

      • Dot
        Dot
        October 2, 2025 at 12:08 am | #

        Most people still call her Jennifer but Alice never got that memo.

      • SunflowerBanjo
        SunflowerBanjo
        October 2, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

        I think officially it’s still Jennifer, she’s just so excited that Alice is talking to her again that she hasn’t wanted to correct her/doesn’t care that much about the name she’s being called when Alice is saying it/doesn’t want to accidentally scare her off again by being The Ultimate Bongo who goes by Jennifer now.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        October 2, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

        It’s purposefully unclear. I’ve been swapping occasionally. I also like that some commentators use “Billifer” that’s fun. Jennifer at least still seems mostly appropriate until she states otherwise just cause she still tagged as such.

        • Dot
          Dot
          October 2, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

          I’ve just never stopped calling her Billie because the Jennifer thing was part of her eye-rolling attempt to reinvent herself as totally mature and above it all and I wanted to play no part in it.

          • Justnobodyfqwl
            Justnobodyfqwl
            October 2, 2025 at 12:11 pm | #

            I have to admit, I was more than a little confused when people in the comments treated it like it’s Preferred Pronouns and not like… The insecure change of a 19 year old cartoon.

            • Sirksome
              Sirksome
              October 2, 2025 at 1:12 pm | #

              Because that shouldn’t matter. You call people what they want to be called. Now Jennifer/Billie is a fictional character so in this context it doesn’t matter, but I won’t fault people for respecting it. Booster actually had this problem in comic where their ex roommate wouldn’t respect their name choice so they moved rooms.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                October 2, 2025 at 7:44 pm | #

                It doesn’t matter because she’s fictional certainly, but some of the arguments for why commenters didn’t want to call her Jennifer hit a little too close. Even “it’s just the insecure change of a 19 year old” seems like something that could be said about a lot of trans people coming out in college.

        • apricot
          apricot
          October 2, 2025 at 12:23 am | #

          I love calling her Billifer, it’s very cute imo

        • morleuca
          morleuca
          October 2, 2025 at 8:11 am | #

          I like to think if Billifer as an intentionally incompetent Lucifer.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        October 2, 2025 at 2:05 am | #

        She is Jennifer with basically most people, but did not correct Alice when she called her “Billie” and she went with it, which I think was definitely a bit of building towards what will likely be a payoff for the crisis of self she’s been having since the Ruth breakup.

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 12:50 am | #

      well considering she went to high school i assume she knows her real name but the emphasis that ruth put on billiefers name implies that alice prolly hasn’t been calling her that

  7. Dot
    Dot
    October 2, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

    RUTH MY DARLING I HAVE MISSED YOU

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      October 2, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

      I, too, have always enjoyed her stories.

    • Donovan
      Donovan
      October 2, 2025 at 12:23 am | #

      Our queen is here

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      October 2, 2025 at 2:17 am | #

      A breath of fresh air, this woman.

      • GMOrganism
        GMOrganism
        October 2, 2025 at 2:21 am | #

        This comment combined with that gravatar is… Quite something.

        • Clif
          Clif
          October 2, 2025 at 3:20 am | #

          The gravatar alone is quite something.

          • Jernacious
            Jernacious
            October 2, 2025 at 9:45 am | #

            Someone is acting with integrity, no regrets I see. 😉

          • Sirksome
            Sirksome
            October 2, 2025 at 4:07 pm | #

            Does Willis draw these on commission?

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              October 2, 2025 at 6:26 pm | #

              I put Big Money™ into one of the book Kickstarters a good few years ago. Probably Book 10, since that’s where my physical collection ends. It was like $200 – $300 for the Makeout Tier, any two characters of your choice, and I chose very carefully.

  8. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    October 2, 2025 at 12:03 am | #

    excuse me, just need to go act with integrity over here

  9. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    October 2, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    Well, now we know why Alice’s Drama Radar didn’t lock in on Dorothy and Joyce and Hank: It was swamped by its own signal.

    • Myra V
      Myra V
      October 2, 2025 at 6:09 am | #

      Which does raise the question – where’s Booster during all this tasty drama?

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        October 2, 2025 at 6:37 pm | #

        oh my god the inevitable collision of Alice and Booster is going to be amazing.

        Booster is going to hate her.

        • anonymsly
          anonymsly
          October 2, 2025 at 11:08 pm | #

          Or love her. I don’t know that Alice is faking anything or pretending anything, she’s seemed comparatively direct and straightforward. She might actually be WYSIWIG.

  10. Bittersweet
    Bittersweet
    October 2, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    I mean, the answer is “because she’s Billie,” I feel like that should be enough lol. I don’t think there’s enough time in the comic left for someone to list every red flag Billie exhibits in any given appearance.

    Regardless, Alice is kind of putting the cart a little before the horse I think lol. She stopped hating/avoiding her less than 48 hours ago.

    • Dot
      Dot
      October 2, 2025 at 12:06 am | #

      Yeah, idk why Alice would suddenly be hopping back on the “I wanna be with Billie” train so quickly. As she herself admits Billie is still carrying a torch for Ruth and I’m not sure how receptive Billie would be to dating Alice – she was very keen to get her back as a friend, but something more than that? I dunno.

      • Lee
        Lee
        October 2, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

        I mean I think she never got off the train, but rather for a while was convinced (correctly, one could very well argue) that she really really really SHOULD get off the train.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          October 2, 2025 at 12:16 am | #

          Yeah, in retrospect Alice was still always down bad. It kinda changes how ya read their first reunion strip from years ago.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          October 2, 2025 at 12:27 am | #

          Yeah. Alice fell in love with Billie, realized that Billie was an unsafe partner*, and painfully distanced herself from her.
          She still loves Billie, so she wants to find out if Billie is acting safe now.**

          Ruth had a kinda similar trajectory, except that Ruth and Billie were unsafe for each other, what with the alcoholic suicide pact.

          *prom night, Billie got dramatically drunk, drove, smashed the two of them into a tree: they could’ve died, and Billie’s actions afterwards didn’t suggest that this event was any kind of wakeup call.
          **pretty sure she’s changed her name but learned nothing

          • Clif
            Clif
            October 2, 2025 at 3:33 am | #

            The thing is, Ruth broke up with her when they were in a good place because Ruth didn’t believe it could last.

            On some level she may have also been depending on Jennifer over-riding her decision, as she had promised to do, and might have in fact done if not for Radiah snagging her as part of her campaign to isolate Joyce and Sarah. (There’s too many she’s and hers in that sentence, but hopefully you can follow it okay.)

          • Myra V
            Myra V
            October 2, 2025 at 6:16 am | #

            That’s the strange thing about their relationship, and why it worked so well – yes, they were both self destructive and had some serious WTFery about it, but they also pushed each other to be better and to GET better, and neither of them would be in a healthy place right now (or, potentially, be ANYplace right now) if they weren’t together. Granted, Jennifer/Billie really isn’t where she needs to be yet, but Ruth is a LOT more stable now specifically because of her relationship with Billie and the fact that Billie pushed her to be a better person. Even if it was half to spite her and get their whole angry sex thing going again.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              October 2, 2025 at 7:21 am | #

              OTOH, Ruth has been drinking and Jennifer hasn’t.

              • Myra V
                Myra V
                October 2, 2025 at 7:39 am | #

                True – but she’s also no longer trying to drink herself numb/to death, so that’s still a huge improvement over where she was. Also, she’s able to function as an effective RA, which she wasn’t really able to do before her relationship, so… Stable and much improved, but not perfect. Which is still a huge improvement over where she was at the start of the series.

              • superglucose
                superglucose
                October 2, 2025 at 10:00 am | #

                It is possible to change your relationship with alcohol to something that is… well, not healthy, because it’s *alcohol,* but something reasonable.

                (I know because I lived it.)

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  October 2, 2025 at 7:19 pm | #

                  It’s possible, but in Ruth’s case? It just seems to have happened, which makes me not trust it. She was an alcoholic and the next time we see her it’s fine for her to drink because she’s of age and it doesn’t interfere with her new medication?

      • SunflowerBanjo
        SunflowerBanjo
        October 2, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

        I don’t think she’s asking ABOUT dating specifically, it think it’s more, “Hey you clearly care about her but put some distance between yourselves. I did the same thing once, but people are saying she’s changed. This isn’t lining up, is there maybe something I should know/some reason I SHOULD be keeping myself distant?”

      • DashWallkick
        DashWallkick
        October 2, 2025 at 1:43 am | #

        She’s pretty openly in love with trainwrecks and drama and looooooves some hot gossip, and you’ve seen them antagonize and play with each other so far. The reason Alice cut off Billie was because she knew she couldn’t resist her.

        Now we’re at the next step of that process – bargaining herself into *still* not being able to resist her.

      • GUIGUI
        GUIGUI
        October 2, 2025 at 2:14 am | #

        I know this is borferline blasphemy to say this, but maybe Alice do not specifically seeks a romantic relationship with Jennifer, but sumply seeks to kbow if even just a friendship relationship with her would not turn out toxic.

        • Clif
          Clif
          October 2, 2025 at 3:36 am | #

          Or perhaps having sex with Jennifer meant more to Alice than it did to Jennifer.

          • Bryy
            Bryy
            October 2, 2025 at 8:36 pm | #

            I think we have enough evidence to suggest that it meant something to Jennifer (“doesn’t mean it wasn’t important”), even if she herself has contradicted that (“Sex with your best friend is no big deal”). I think Jennifer views sex as just something people do rather than anything special.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          October 2, 2025 at 7:24 am | #

          She’s specifically asking Ruth if there’s a big important reason she shouldn’t be with Jennifer. She’s definitely talking about a romantic relationship.

          • GUIGUI
            GUIGUI
            October 2, 2025 at 8:33 am | #

            Toxicity in romantic relationships can also transpire in friendship ones.

            And someone who has been in a romantic relationship with a person might know them better.

            Here, what is relevant is that it’s Ruth who informed Alice in the first place that Jennifer was a good person. But Ruth having broken up with Jen, it make sens that Alice might perceive the Jen-Ruth break up as being at odds with what Ruth told her.

            So Ruth being the one who told Alice in the first place that Jen is good, but they are also broken up while Jen still seems to have feeling for Ruth is enough of a discrepancy to investigate, for lack of better word.

            • Tequila Mockingbird
              Tequila Mockingbird
              October 2, 2025 at 11:22 am | #

              Just as there are “friends withbenefits” there are also “friends with consequences.” 😉

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              October 2, 2025 at 7:25 pm | #

              Yes, it is possible in general, but I think her phrasing implies she’s asking about a reason she shouldn’t “be with” Jennifer. in the same way that Ruth had reasons not to be with her.

  11. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    October 2, 2025 at 12:04 am | #

    I don’t believe I’m gonna say: Joyce’s family situation is better than this.
    Is Alice going to open Pandora’s Box? Asking it to Ruth??

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 12:51 am | #

      i mean as far as we know, billiefers still dstopped drinking tho idk if she’s been to a therapyist since

      • Astariel
        Astariel
        October 2, 2025 at 10:28 am | #

        She did tell Joyce that she sounded like her therapist two days ago, so I think she probably is still going to one.

  12. Dave Van Domelen
    Dave Van Domelen
    October 2, 2025 at 12:05 am | #

    Angry tits.

    • Animedingo
      Animedingo
      October 2, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

      Mammary calamity

      • nadamás
        nadamás
        October 2, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

        Boobs of doom!!

        • True Survivor
          True Survivor
          October 2, 2025 at 12:18 am | #

          apoplectic areolae?

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            October 2, 2025 at 12:35 am | #

            Boomba Gazoomgas

            • Bryy
              Bryy
              October 2, 2025 at 1:56 am | #

              y’all need to stop i just had surgery.

              • Clif
                Clif
                October 2, 2025 at 3:42 am | #

                Yeah, y’all are going to have Bryy in stitches.

                • morleuca
                  morleuca
                  October 2, 2025 at 3:24 pm | #

                  Or out of them

            • Embe13
              Embe13
              October 2, 2025 at 6:54 pm | #

              Mahoromatics!!

            • Thing 2
              Thing 2
              October 2, 2025 at 9:23 pm | #

              Microsoft Word once told me “There are no synonyms for the word breasts”. I tried telling it that my daughter (under 10 yrs old) could come up with at least 12, but it wasn’t having any!

  13. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    October 2, 2025 at 12:06 am | #

    God I love Ruth. She might be my single favorite character in the comic.

    • ResRam
      ResRam
      October 2, 2025 at 5:51 am | #

      Me too!
      But what does that say about the two of us?
      Simping for the most depressed, angry, bitter and cynical char in this large and drama-ridden cast…..

  14. Animedingo
    Animedingo
    October 2, 2025 at 12:06 am | #

    Well you see, shes awful

  15. Laura
    Laura
    October 2, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

    …Self immolation?
    Not sure I follow…

    (…Hi folks. *waves shyly*)

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      October 2, 2025 at 12:09 am | #

      Ruth is suggesting she would rather set herself on fire than have this conversation about Jennifer.

      • SunflowerBanjo
        SunflowerBanjo
        October 2, 2025 at 12:22 am | #

        I think it’s a step further and that the reason she doesn’t want to have the conversation is because it’s personally embarrassing: She sees the reason for them not being together as her fault/because of her own perceived character flaws/mistakes.

        • C.T Phipps
          C.T Phipps
          October 2, 2025 at 12:57 am | #

          Ruth will have to explain, “Jennifer is messed up but I was actually worse or we were worse together.”

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        October 2, 2025 at 1:57 am | #

        Alice is gonna hear about the pact and fall back into “Billie hasn’t changed” mode.

        • Throwatron
          Throwatron
          October 2, 2025 at 8:22 pm | #

          which will make billie start to spiral, thus providing even stronger evidence to the obvious

    • nadamás
      nadamás
      October 2, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

      Setting herself on fire

    • Laura
      Laura
      October 2, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

      Ah. Thanks!

      • Pappenheimer
        Pappenheimer
        October 2, 2025 at 1:45 am | #

        Life self-examination should be preferable to suttee.

  16. Suet
    Suet
    October 2, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

    Let’s or let’s not talk about a certain pact

    Why jammies

    • Effie
      Effie
      October 2, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

      jammies for jammin’

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 12:54 am | #

      i mean maybe some college students half them but other than sleeping shirtless or in lingerie i imagine pjs aren’t too common/ might be tedious for college age students to use

      or the life hack/not caring enough to just permanently switch to sweatpants or those animal onesies/kigurumis even in classl ol

      • DinaJoyce
        DinaJoyce
        October 2, 2025 at 1:55 am | #

        Where I teach now is mostly commuters, so it’s a little different. But when I was in college, we just skipped real clothes and just wore pj’s all the time

  17. Dot
    Dot
    October 2, 2025 at 12:07 am | #

    Also, g’mar tov to all my Jewish DOAheads. May those of you fasting have an easy fast.

    • Laura
      Laura
      October 2, 2025 at 12:14 am | #

      Accommodations and support and affirmation to all who struggle around eating & digestion & nutrition & food security & safety…

      https://www.amitzvahtoeat.org/

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 2, 2025 at 12:15 am | #

      ♡. May you be inscribed in the Book of Life

    • Crotonhurst
      Crotonhurst
      October 2, 2025 at 12:27 am | #

      Chag semeach!

  18. Lee
    Lee
    October 2, 2025 at 12:10 am | #

    Wow, a strip that contains neither Dorothy, Joyce, or any mention of them.

    • nadamás
      nadamás
      October 2, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

      It was until you bring it up smh.

    • Dot
      Dot
      October 2, 2025 at 12:16 am | #

      It’s been 80 years..

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 2, 2025 at 12:16 am | #

      the beckydel test

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 12:57 am | #

      well the last arc was about the mgetting together but i’m sure well seem ore charas we haven’t seen in a while, i dont’ think anyone expected to see ken again

      • Clif
        Clif
        October 2, 2025 at 3:40 am | #

        Chants: Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike …

        • Random832
          Random832
          October 2, 2025 at 4:49 am | #

          The Mike hallucination slowly spreads to more than just Amber. It’s left carefully ambiguous for years whether or not he knows things when speaking to one character that he could only have learned while hanging out with another (which would thereby imply he’s a real actual ghost instead of a hallucination) until the final grand reveal that Walky was right all along.

    • biomanzilla
      biomanzilla
      October 2, 2025 at 1:47 am | #

      I was getting tired of them but now we switch to two characters I’m even less interested in. Monkey’s Paw. I was hoping to see Joe, or back to Walky and Jennifer.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 2, 2025 at 7:28 am | #

        But the nice thing here is that this isn’t just two different characters, it’s a whole different story arc.
        Back to Joe would probably have been about how he’s handling Dorothy and Joyce being together, much like Walky and Jennifer was about Walky’s reaction to being dumped.
        This isn’t about DoJo or about fallout from the protests.

        • Big Z
          Big Z
          October 2, 2025 at 8:45 am | #

          Yeah, as much as I’m a Joe fan I think we could do with a Doyce break to air out the comment section if nothing else.

  19. Embe13
    Embe13
    October 2, 2025 at 12:16 am | #

    damn you willis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YEEESSSS!!!!!!

  20. Thing 2
    Thing 2
    October 2, 2025 at 12:18 am | #

    Well, there’s a jump! Boing.

  21. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    October 2, 2025 at 12:19 am | #

    Ruth: …and that’s when I locked myself in the room and knocked off the doorknob before barricading the door

    Alice: Because you didn’t want to start drinking again?

    Ruth: Yes.

    Alice: Ah.

    Ruth: She’s sober now and I’m drinking again.

    Jason: Hello.

    Alice: Who is this?

    Ruth: I mean…is slave accurate?

  22. Thing 2
    Thing 2
    October 2, 2025 at 12:19 am | #

    Wait… her tits were knocking at the door?

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      October 2, 2025 at 2:58 am | #

      They’re called knockers for a reason.

      • Clif
        Clif
        October 2, 2025 at 3:43 am | #

        I always wondered about that.

  23. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    October 2, 2025 at 12:20 am | #

    Maybe Alice should get some of that crippling depression that makes her second guess her own happiness when things are going well and then self sabotage. Since she asked. Couldn’t hurt.

    • Jon
      Jon
      October 2, 2025 at 7:08 pm | #

      I wouldn’t trust it.

  24. Masha
    Masha
    October 2, 2025 at 12:21 am | #

    “Well, she almost got you killed. Also decided to have a suicide pact with me. There’s other things but those two are extremely high on the list”

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      October 2, 2025 at 7:31 am | #

      “But mostly I cared about her and things were going well so I figured she’d survive being dumped better than me inevitably dragging her down with me.”

      • Throwatron
        Throwatron
        October 2, 2025 at 8:21 pm | #

        in her defense, she has spent the past 8-10 years being castigated by an aggressive, authoritarian narcissist, and scapegoated for all of the things in life that were never her fault. it’s a very reasonable complex for her to have developed.

  25. Cimorene
    Cimorene
    October 2, 2025 at 12:25 am | #

    Huh. I went to a high school play tonight with a character named “Ruth” but it was pronounced “Ruh th” but the character said it was spelled like “Ruth”. So I was thinking about Ruth, but not expecting to see her back in the comic yet.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      October 2, 2025 at 12:46 am | #

      Ruh th ? Ruh-ro, that’s cursed

  26. Cholma
    Cholma
    October 2, 2025 at 12:30 am | #

    Well, Alice, once upon a time… there two ladies who loved dumpster fire relations so much, they climbed into a bottle together and almost drowned. Then, when one tried to climb OUT of the bottle, the other set it on fire instead.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      October 2, 2025 at 1:47 am | #

      Tale as old as time.

      • Effie
        Effie
        October 2, 2025 at 4:14 pm | #

        Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme…
        Beast and the other beast??

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      October 2, 2025 at 7:46 pm | #

      Wait. Who’s supposed to be doing what here? Because unless I’m wildly misread it, that’s not at all what happened.

  27. Francoinblanco
    Francoinblanco
    October 2, 2025 at 12:38 am | #

    This conspiracy will be rooted out!

  28. Straximus
    Straximus
    October 2, 2025 at 12:56 am | #

    Oh dear. There are so many directions this conversations could go.

    I can’t wait to see how it lands.

  29. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    October 2, 2025 at 12:56 am | #

    I have this weird dream of a Dumbing of Age video game in the style of River City Girls. Jennifer, Joyce, Sal, and Amber are the playable characters. Jennifer has the power up of becoming a Jedi with a working lightsaber and her most personal boss fight is against Ruth as a Sith Lord.

    …

    My brain works very funny.

    • Strain Of Thought
      Strain Of Thought
      October 2, 2025 at 1:53 am | #

      Does Joyce power up by becoming an atheist?

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        October 2, 2025 at 4:45 am | #

        I don’t think she was officially one by the point I first thought of it. Dorothy was the final boss, though in the Oval Office with nukes preparing to launch. If you win, you discover she’s the Head Alien in disguise.

        Yes, this is what Robin’s Cadburry Cream Egg diet will do.

        • Big Z
          Big Z
          October 2, 2025 at 8:47 am | #

          You gotta switch to skim milk on those or somethin’.

  30. Leorale
    Leorale
    October 2, 2025 at 1:01 am | #

    Wait, Ruth wrote recommendation letters for her ex? I kinda love that.

    • anon
      anon
      October 2, 2025 at 1:16 am | #

      i think it was when ruth was texting alice with bilies phone

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        October 2, 2025 at 1:59 am | #

        And all Alice needed before welcoming Jen back was someone saying “sure”.

        • Throwatron
          Throwatron
          October 2, 2025 at 8:18 pm | #

          I’m beginning to get the impression that, perhaps, Alice has a strong tendency towards being easily led by others.

  31. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    October 2, 2025 at 1:13 am | #

    oh so she wasnt just there to watch the burning trashfire that is billiefer, she’s actually considering it. uh oh.

  32. Newlland(Henryvolt)
    Newlland(Henryvolt)
    October 2, 2025 at 1:21 am | #

    She’s afraid of being happy, because she’s convinced she’s not allowed to be happy, anything that feels like happiness is not only going to end but end horribly. Ruth Was the happiest she’s ever been when she was with her and that scared the hell out of her.

  33. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    October 2, 2025 at 1:23 am | #

    And once again I remember Sally & Danny are, like

    The ONE healthy couple

    • Armadillo
      Armadillo
      October 2, 2025 at 1:48 am | #

      Don’t forget Jacob/Lucy and Sarah/Tony! They’re both recent developments but everything we’ve seen so far looks healthy.

      • Icalasari
        Icalasari
        October 3, 2025 at 12:13 am | #

        I say they need to last at least a week in universe without toxicity before they can count as healthy

  34. Kyulen
    Kyulen
    October 2, 2025 at 1:36 am | #

    Maybe I’m just weird, but when I’m dating someone or about to start dating someone and things seems to be going good, I’ve never sought out that person’s exes to ask them why they broke up. Maybe if the relationship is going badly I might consider doing that. But Alice asking Ruth this right now just seems kinda strange to me.

    • nadamás
      nadamás
      October 2, 2025 at 1:41 am | #

      I mean it’s because ruth is part of the reason she reconnected with Jennifer in the first place.

    • Armadillo
      Armadillo
      October 2, 2025 at 1:51 am | #

      In normal circumstances I think I’d agree with you. But Alice has a previous incident involving a literal car accident to consider, which is likely making her very justifiably cautious about taking any big steps right now.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        October 2, 2025 at 2:09 am | #

        Maybe the car crash is the reason Alice talks like a fuckin’ weirdo.

    • Skater Girl
      Skater Girl
      October 2, 2025 at 5:00 am | #

      If the person you are interested in is someone you were with previously and it went very badly, you’d be wise to be cautious.

    • Big Z
      Big Z
      October 2, 2025 at 8:48 am | #

      I wouldn’t do it now, but I certainly DID do it in college when doing so was a five-minute walk and a knock on the door of someone I already was on a first-name basis with.

    • Throwatron
      Throwatron
      October 2, 2025 at 8:17 pm | #

      Well, okay, but how many times have you started dating somebody who previously almost killed you with a car, because she was a dysfunctional alcoholic? Something tells me, uh, that’s probably a big part of Alice’s reasoning.

  35. Taffy
    Taffy
    October 2, 2025 at 1:43 am | #

    She’s so goddamn hot

    • Dot
      Dot
      October 2, 2025 at 6:03 am | #

      Ruth? Yeah

  36. IntangibleMatter
    IntangibleMatter
    October 2, 2025 at 1:52 am | #

    As someone who’s a fan of Billie and Ruth being a couple, I must admit I’m vibrating intensely right now

  37. biomanzilla
    biomanzilla
    October 2, 2025 at 1:53 am | #

    Jennifer usually just mirrors the energy of whoever she’s with at the time. Ruth was suicidally depressed, so she was suicidally depressed. Raidah’s a status obsessed alpha bongo, so she’s a status obsessed alpha bongo. If Jennifer hung out with Walky more she’d probably devolve into a cartoon watching slob. I’m sure Alice will be fine.

    • Amara
      Amara
      October 2, 2025 at 8:13 am | #

      If she hung out with Walky she’d revert back to cheerleader mode and just try to bully him nonstop. For whatever reason, he sets her off nonstop just by existing. Her unexamined feelings for Sal and her partial face blindness probably don’t help.

      • eh, whatever
        eh, whatever
        October 2, 2025 at 11:28 am | #

        For whatever reason, he sets her off nonstop just by existing.

        Siblings.

      • Throwatron
        Throwatron
        October 2, 2025 at 8:15 pm | #

        We literally saw the reason why: Walky makes her feel like her internal focus on status and social success isn’t important, due to the fact that he’s literally never cared about it; when she was young and scared of going to school for the first time, this was comforting and supportive to her, in a way she wasn’t prepared to understand; but, as she got older, she felt more pressure to conform to her upbringing, and that same ambivalence to status which defines Walky, makes him a liability to her social goals, and an easy target to elevate her social standing in relation to his.

        If she has ever seriously considered why she does this (and she probably hasn’t), her justification can easily be that Walky clearly doesn’t care about that kind of thing like she does, so she doesn’t consider herself to be substantively victimizing him; or, she sees him as making an active, deliberate choice to “be an uncool loser,” which is something she suppresses within herself, so she can easily rationalize away the behavior as victimless, since from her perspective, Walky does not care about what she is doing.

        This is not fair to Walky, and definitely is something he doesn’t appreciate being on the receiving end of, but he’s also allergic to talking about his feelings and setting boundaries, so it just goes on the pile of the various ways he abandons his own wants and needs for others’.

    • Li
      Li
      October 2, 2025 at 11:09 am | #

      I mean the depression predated Ruth. So did her interest in being popular — it was almost the first trait the comic established, after her alcoholism.

    • Myra V
      Myra V
      October 2, 2025 at 8:56 pm | #

      Erm, her NOT being a status obsessed alpha bongo is rather the exception than the rule with her. I think the only reason she WASN’T a status obsessed bongo around Ruth is because she was distracted by some other rather severe issues throughout that relationship, and when it ended, she went back to being the status obsessed bongo she was at the start of the series.

      …

      Now I think the series needs more bongos in it. Maybe get a full geek band going with ukulele (Dan), bongos, and kazoos. Make a real mash of it.

  38. Bryy
    Bryy
    October 2, 2025 at 2:00 am | #

    Alice, how are you both the smartest and dumbest of the cast.

  39. John Campbell
    John Campbell
    October 2, 2025 at 2:04 am | #

    As a trash goblin who craves mess, I vote that this ends with Billie walking in on Ruth and Alice banging while calling each other “Billie”. Bonus points if Alice still has her cheerleader uniform.

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      October 2, 2025 at 2:56 am | #

      She still has it, but Ruth is the one wearing it.

      • Clif
        Clif
        October 2, 2025 at 3:48 am | #

        I don’t want it to happen, but I like the way your mind works.

  40. GUIGUI
    GUIGUI
    October 2, 2025 at 2:10 am | #

    Yeah, that’s someone who want to avoid toxic relationships. Has Probably been burned too many time and now act super-cautious.

    Can’t really blame her.

    • Throwatron
      Throwatron
      October 2, 2025 at 8:07 pm | #

      i was baffled at all the people who started blaming her, makes no sense to me.

      • anonymsly
        anonymsly
        October 2, 2025 at 11:18 pm | #

        Same. Alice seems to me to be behaving completely reasonably here.

  41. Trae Dorn
    Trae Dorn
    October 2, 2025 at 2:21 am | #

    Ruth suddenly has many, many regrets, and one of them is that she hasn’t been hit by a truck.

    • Maddie B
      Maddie B
      October 2, 2025 at 5:43 am | #

      Too many regrets
      Too many cigarettes
      More blondes than brunettes?

      • eh, whatever
        eh, whatever
        October 2, 2025 at 11:31 am | #

        Gauloises?

  42. SillyGoose
    SillyGoose
    October 2, 2025 at 2:42 am | #

    Interesting development .I’m not sure how I feel about it and I think Alice is not so sure either

  43. TheCruisiest
    TheCruisiest
    October 2, 2025 at 3:33 am | #

    I struggle a bit with inferring sentences, so can someone help me here?

    Is she asking is this is a reason she “also maybe should have” been with Billifer or “also maybe should have” not been with her anymore.

    Based on the comments it seems like the latter, but the former reads more cleanly to me.

    • Clif
      Clif
      October 2, 2025 at 3:50 am | #

      She is asking if the reason that Ruth is no longer with Jennifer is something that would apply to her as well.

      • TheCruisiest
        TheCruisiest
        October 2, 2025 at 5:08 am | #

        got it, thanks!

  44. Chris
    Chris
    October 2, 2025 at 5:17 am | #

    The absolute first time I heard that saying, believe it or not, was 45 years ago. High school. Classmate. Everyone assumed she was a …. oh my god, whisper, whisper, a … lesbian. She didn’t date. Guys. Of course the fact that she didn’t date other girls either was never mentioned, because, of course not, that would mean she WAS gay… err lesbian. Oh man the talk. The rumors. She was strong. She did things like the boys. Threw like one. Hit like one. How did we know? She came to the rescue of a middle-schooler and beat up some bullies.
    Of course no one was an actual witness to the event… Only everyone KNEW someone who saw.
    One day, part way through our junior year, in a class I shared with her, and others of course, but she was in it too, the teacher hadn’t shown up yet and it was like 10 minutes in. No one knew what was going on and no one was willing to actually go find out. For some reason we weren’t going ‘nuts’, yelling and screaming. Maybe because it was an AP class. Probably.
    And then, it happened. Someone knocked on the door. This classroom had had its door replaced due to another ‘incident’ and for some reason didn’t have a window in it. Again, “knock, knock.” No one got up and no one moved. Then Tina muttered, loud enough for all of us to hear, “oh for Christ’s sake”, got up, and yelled out “ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, HOLD YOUR TITTIES!, I’M COMING!”
    That was all she wrote. everyone cracked up. We had a substitute teacher that day, no one would tell us why. Turned out our regular teacher (a man) had been having an affair with a senior girl every year for like 20 years. Finally, twentieth year of doing that and somehow keeping them all quiet, this year’s girl only goa the equivalent of an A- for a mid-term. She blew the whole thing and that was … oh my god that was a thing that still is talked about in my small hometown to this day.
    But Tina, who it turned out was NOT a lesbian, and has had 4 children and multiple grand-children.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      October 2, 2025 at 5:44 am | #

      That is a fascinating and horrifying story. It reminds me a bit of my school principle’s story who was the only teacher at my private Catholic School who gave me detention for my Vampire: The Masquerade books, banned tabletop roleplaying games, and constantly thought I was a trouble maker and weirdo. I was ironically in my fundamentalist phase and would only have a spiritual revelation to be no longer an asshole (and become a Goth theist) after he left.

      The principle later vanished and turned out to have been arrested for a DUI where he drove into the river (he was fine physically) but this exposed that he was in fact a fraud who had faked his credentials to get his job. He was also a gay man but even then I realized that wasn’t a reason to dislike him. No, it was the fact he hated roleplaying games and was thus evil.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        October 2, 2025 at 5:47 am | #

        I mean Principal not principle. Man, that just ruins the story.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          October 2, 2025 at 8:07 am | #

          Their, they’re, your okay. We fully understand. 🙂
          (these comments and replies need an edit feature.)

          • Tequila Mockingbird
            Tequila Mockingbird
            October 2, 2025 at 11:16 am | #

            Preach, comrade.

          • C.T Phipps
            C.T Phipps
            October 2, 2025 at 8:21 pm | #

            Thanks!

  45. Steamweed
    Steamweed
    October 2, 2025 at 8:06 am | #

    My diesel dungarees
    My gasoline girdle
    My kerosene khakis
    My turpentine tights

    • Owlmirror
      Owlmirror
      October 2, 2025 at 9:02 am | #

      Accelerant accoutrements?

    • Owlmirror
      Owlmirror
      October 2, 2025 at 9:04 am | #

      Combustible couture.

    • Owlmirror
      Owlmirror
      October 2, 2025 at 9:06 am | #

      Flammable fashion.

      • Tequila Mockingbird
        Tequila Mockingbird
        October 2, 2025 at 11:17 am | #

        These are all solid gold.

  46. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    October 2, 2025 at 8:29 am | #

    What Ruth wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak.

    • Steamweed
      Steamweed
      October 2, 2025 at 2:51 pm | #

      It’s probably a good thing that I can’t just buy one online.
      Otherwise, yeah, that’s me going to the E.R. right quick-like.

  47. Owlmirror
    Owlmirror
    October 2, 2025 at 9:00 am | #

    If Jennifer, Alice, and Ruth formed a polycule, they would be a dark triad.

    Those who would ship them could be called JARheads.

    • Tequila Mockingbird
      Tequila Mockingbird
      October 2, 2025 at 11:18 am | #

      Okay, that name alone is enough to make me consider hopping on that ship.

  48. Jernacious
    Jernacious
    October 2, 2025 at 9:48 am | #

    Now I imagine Alice explaining her relationship while Ruth is pouring gas over her like that one scene from Airplane! where the main character bores everyone to death with his story.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      October 2, 2025 at 10:48 am | #

      “now do Classical Gas” XD

  49. Bryy
    Bryy
    October 2, 2025 at 6:41 pm | #

    I literally just realized that, in this universe, Billie crashed instead of Ruth.

  50. Dot
    Dot
    October 2, 2025 at 8:21 pm | #

    Alice I do feel a compelling reason for you to not pursue a potential romantic connection with Billie is that you are clearly aware she is still hung up on her ex

    • SignSeeker
      SignSeeker
      October 3, 2025 at 7:28 am | #

      Counter-argument: I think if I had cradled my highschool lover in my arms and told them I loved them for the first time as they seemingly died after we were an a car accident after they kicked the crap out of the guy who sexually assaulted me on prom night…

      I think I would literally never get over that person. Like, that is a recipe for some profound emotional hang-uos

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