Panel Two, of course, was adapted into the Amazi-Girl Strikes poster.
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Iantos @iantos.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
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Sorenson & McFeely
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Iantos @iantos.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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Vandals, huh? Well, I’m going to savage you!
Gonna take you back to the stone age!
I’m sorry.
At least you didn’t go for the obvious joke!
Well that Scandal sure will be a Knockout.
I don’t know whats worse. these puns, or the fact I got each one…
I feel your pain…..
The worst thing is that the Secret Six as written by Gail Simone and illustrated by Nicola Scott no longer exists
yes, that is indeed the worst D:
Since you said stone age, I have to reference Vandal Savage.
Oh, welcome to the party, I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it. Unfortunately, most people have gone home already, but help yourself to whatever snacks are left.
^ – Condom-Lass
It makes sense. Batman became Batman because he finds bats frightening. Joyce is terrified of human sexuality.
“I must become something dark and fearsome to strike terror into the hearts of evil. I know! I will wear a condom on my head! I am…the Pre-Marital Hanker-Panker!”
Condoms are scary things mainly cos they are so damn tricky to put on.
i think you’re doing it wrong
They might be much easier to use if it was shaped like a cucumber.
Are they not?!?
o_O
Behold! Human anatomy is subject to variation!
I’m still looking for perfectly square ones.
Looking to try putting a square peg in a round hole?
Why not just Rubber-head?
I like this name.
Sounds like a Dick Tracy villain.
Don’t wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don’t work
’Cause the vandals took the handles
No one messes with the Amazi-Shrimp and gets away with it.
Who are you calling a shrimp so tiny that they can’t even be seen without a scanning tunneling microscope??!!
So what do you suggest her nickname should be then?
Amazi-Tardigrade
She’s immune to the harmful effect of dehydration.
Not you, Ed!
haHA!
One of those guys is actually Amazi-Girl’s nemesis “Randall the Sandal-wearing Scandal Vandal”.
She told them to halt, and they did, which was very considerate of them. She never asked them to be respectful, so I guess she shouldn’t have expected them to be polite.
Vandals, Vagabonds and Derelicts are rarely polite.
Vandals, Vagabonds, and Derelicts was my favorite band in high school.
Vandals, ok, but who are these other two? I know Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Franks, Angles, Saxons…never heard of Vagabonds or Derelicts though.
You never heard of the Vagabonds because historians are elitists. So the Vagabonds never had an actual camp. Or tents. So they never had any horses. So there were only ten or so members in the tribe because most of the kids kept leaving to become ‘proper’ barbarians, Ostrogoths and Vandals and toffs like that.
I tell you, historians are what-have-you-done-to-someone-lately floozies. Flash them an encampment, raid a city, sack a temple, put fields to the torch, run off with horses or women, and you get scroll after scroll written about you. But pass one cap around for a denarius or two, busk one street corner, hitch a lift with one merchant’s wagon, and suddenly they don’t know your bleepin’ name.
I don’t see “HALT AND RESPECT ME” catching on any time soon.
HALT AND RESPECT ME! *uppercuts kneecap*
its pretty catchy with a broken kneecap.
Hey Mister Willis, when Amazi-Girl talks in black word balloons like here, is she doing a scary gravel voice like Batman?
That or some kind of autotuning.
Amazi-girl and her sidekick T-Payne.
All she needs now is her retractable Amazi-Pimp-Cane.
Should’ve have Black Tom Cassidy and his Pimp Cane then.
wouldn’t her sidekick more likely be T-Rex?
So Dina’s her partner then? Yeah, I can roll with that.
Omigod, Dina as Amazigirl’s sidekick would be AWESOME. I hope that happens.
Considering Dina’s habit of always getting dragged along, I could actually see that happen.
Yeah, she is changing her voice. When she first appeared she had a normal word balloon, but it changed to the current one in this strip:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/voice/
aw yiss SHE GONNA OPEN A WHOLE CAN O’ WHOOPASS!
Well…maybe half a can of Whoopass. I’m not sure if a full can would be size appropriate for her.
Nothing hurts like a fun sized can o WHOOPASS!
Like those mini-cans you get from hotel bar-fridges, small but expensive.
At least they let you keep the can. Airlines, am I right?
Man, these sure are some Savage Vandals.
So much so that their names are Fred and Ben.
God only knows what they did to get called that shudder
well, Amazi-tits could be a douchey backhanded compliment. But calling her short is definitively insulting.
I wonder if Daisy had dubbed her Amazi-Tits in the newspaper or not.
Is this Amazigirl immune to all criticism? Because then this really shouldn’t be an issue.
Being short isn’t a bad thing so being called short shouldn’t be insulting. Obviously they meant it to be, but damn Amber, let it go. As you get older, being short and short jokes will get to you less..
Could you give an approximate of the age at which this is likely to happen? It most certainly has not yet for me.
It happened around 23-24 for me. I’m 5’1. It gets better!
It’s the Amazi-Rack, guys. Get it straight.
And yes, her rack is amazing.
Ninja Rack? What a transparent pseudonyme …
To be fair, everything about her is just damn amazing!
Nice random gravatar!!
Mocking a superhero? BIG MISTAKE.
Soon all shall burn.
Anyone else been having some pretty bad issues getting the site to load tonight? I mean, worse than usual, because it took me twenty minutes to get to the comments page.
I also had major issues and I’m from Australia.
No problems for me, and I’m from Australia. Do we have to end everything we write on the internet with ‘and I’m from Australia’ from now on?
Nope, I just added that it see if the server problem was limited to one country or not.
No problems for me. I don’t think it has anything to do with where you’re from, but just in case: From Switzerland myself.
Did you still have the problem at the time of your answer to Zababcd, Plasma? Because if not, it probably had to do with timing.
Btw: Who is it in your gravatar at the moment? Usually I can name or at least place the characters, but this one kinda eludes me.
I really want these guys to be punched in the face.
I’m hoping for a couple feet lower than the face.
She’s pretty short so a nut-shot would be her best bet anyhow.
Hope you brought soap and water, cuz I’m gonna clean your clocks!
So Willis IS going to kill characters in this comic. Right after their first appearance too…
“big things come in small packages, VANDALS!”
Err wait… That might be taken wrong…
Your entendres were just doubled, if you know what I mean.
uhg… i still cant figure out why it wont display my proper gravitar…
Concerning Gravatars: Are you using a jpg, is it roughly 300×300 in size or maybe it’s too big.
.png, and its 300×300, cropped it meself
oh. well its gone and corrected itself… YAY
Looks like it is working now, it does take a few minutes at least for it to show up.
yeah but i set it up like… 36 hours ago. thats a long few minutes…
Halt, vandals? Oh come on, Amber. This isn’t the Golden Age. You don’t say that kinda thing anymore. What you do is whip your small, bladed, projectile from the shadows at the sign, then leap into the light landing in a crouched position. Then you say the cool line of “hope you brought soap and water” when standing up, caped draped dramatically over you.
I mean come on! This isn’t your first vicious criminal beating is it?
SNIKT TO THEM!
If Amber is the first hero in this story then it IS the Golden Age for them.
Well, Amazi-Girl would fit right in with all the pulp heroes.
And pulp is probably what she’s about to turn these guys into.
Her real mistake is engaging them in conversation. It’s really awkward trying to move on to the ass-kicking phase of the encounter with a couple of guys you’ve just been chatting with. Should’ve just started with the hitting, and dropped some snappy one-liners afterwards.
Drop one and immediately drop out of sight, send the other running. Interrogate the one left behind. Leave for the authorities.
You know, if I ever had the opportunity to meet a super heroine, I’d ask if she has the Most Common Superpower or not.
Why ask, her Most Common Superpower is hard to miss.
If being stalked by a heroine of the night, taking time for a proper and thorough examination might result in all of the bones in your body being mysteriously broken. Probably safer to ask politely.
I am pretty sure that asking the superheroine if those are real or not will also result in a beating.
Well, if I was the bad guy, that would happen. But what if I’m just a voice?
all the bones? NOPE, just the FEMERS!
But you need your femurs to live.
Heeheehee…this just brought back a flashback of that terror-face I found so hilarious the first time!
Femurs? Nope. She’d probably just focus on your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
with her…
OK, 2nd question, does her MCS kicked when she put on her costume or what?
Nah. Sal’s pretty stacked out-of-costume, too.
way to SPOIL THE ILLUSION john. JESUS.
Did she just leap out of that tree???
Will she walk away after this or will she be limping?
Maybe she just walked up to them and then kinda jumped. Wouldn’t want her getting hurt. Then the bad guys would win
First shot is her point of view from the Amaze-mobile, which she brings to a sudden stop next to the evildoers, using the last tiny bit of forward momentum to fling herself over the windscreen of the vehicle (which has no appreciable roof) at a safe but dramatic speed so that she lands in front of them.
And they somehow they aren’t terrified by this. Kudos to them.
Who stole all the shrimp from the wedding reception?
Find out all this and more next episode!
Two guys, night… 5.05 bigbreasted cutie, all alone… will she be liimping?… you may add “if you know what i mean”…. almost a nickel short for a perfect Penhouse Story…..
Dear Penthouse, JACKPOT.
OH! no wait, “Dear Penthouse, Found a nickel.”
Be careful Amazi-Girl !
Those punks have goatees, GOATEES ! That’s proof enough they’re true Evil and very dangerous. This is your first big mission !
goatees are proof of evil and danger? i like goatees…
They look like hipsters. I say Amaz-Ti-er-Girl kick their asses.
Why didn’t she follow up her comment on the third panel with “It would make it all the faster to clean your clocks?” Or something like that.
because that would require one to not only be smooth, but also not insulted.
In that first panel it appears that R2D2 has fallen in with rough crowd.
Soon, Dynosaur is seen patrolling the area. She is probably unaffiliated with the existing campus superhero, since she mostly stands around looking awkward and offers dinosaur trivia to passersby.
Seriously, though, they can’t have forgotten the name of Amazi-Grill.
(The taggers are untagged? Does that mean we can name them? I’m naming the second one End — because, y’know, the sign — and the first one Horseface.)
In the coming battle, Amazi-girl destroys the hydrant to blast these vandals with water, thereby creating irony.
this page is making me really nervous. i can’t even walk across campus at night, let alone tell two guys, both taller than me, to stop doing something illegal.
So, I tend to distrust superheroes because I consider them authoritarian dickbags. Amazi-girl is awesome, because she is COMPLETELY, 100% that. While it’s cool when she busts up some actual crimes (Danny getting assaulted, the surprisingly frequent muggings on a college campus in Indiana), it is HILARIOUS when she goes all Batman on guys that are performing minor misdemeanors.
So I was coming up with derisive nicknames for Amazi-Girl, and I realized that nearly anything I came up with were really easy to pun on.
“The Tattletale” “The TITtle Tale”
“Hall Monitor” “BALLS monitor”
“The Snitch” “The… Sna–“
I’m glad to see Ultra-car in costume again.
what?
Slow night, I see.
5 foot four is actually average for women. :/
In the US, I think it’s closer to 5’5″, a little higher than the worldwide average.
(And Amazi-Girl likes to round up even when it’s not called for.)
If she’s ~5’5″ hunched over, then those guys are 6’4″ if they’re an inch.
Though there do seem to be a lot of exceptionally tall people in this universe.
She’s hunched over, but she’s not saying the top of her head is 5′
4″ above the ground right this second. And she’s about up to their chins. I’d guess they’re about 5’9″-5’11”.
my GF is 5’4″ its THE perfect size impo. shes just short enough that i feel tall. and just tall enough that i dont have to kneel to kiss her xD
Average superheroine height is something like 5’10″…
What is she doing to turn her voice blue?
Channeling Christian Bale.
On a note that’s totally unrelated to the comic, Willis, how did you feel about the fact that Mike came in second for hottest guy?
Hey, poll’s not over yet, and as I write this, Mike is exactly one vote behind Jacob. Amber captured second place from Billie in the last day or two from further behind in the ladies’ poll. Mike may pull out a victory yet.
tied right now.
And he’s pulled ahead.
How will Amazi-Girl fight these guys? Ripper mode? Use the spray against them? Contrived deus ex machina? Will the two guys win?
I’m guessing body parts strewn over a wide area and Amazi-Girl and most of the terrain splashed with red, but then again maybe I be underestimating her irritation slightly.
Hey, it’s not the size of the hero, it’s how hard she clobbers you that counts.
I’m surprised she took more exception to being called short than the disrespectful “Amazi-Tits” crack.
Of course she’s not angry at being called “Amazi-Tits” because she has amazing tits. Just look at them… gloriously showing off those curves through the several layers of fabric, enticing men and lesbians despite the fact she’s not showcasing them off with a boob window.
Boob windows are a great defense mechanism.
The Real Power Girl even admitted that’s why she used one.
Well, the male writer for Power Girl admitted it using her as a mouthpiece, yeah.
Vandals? Really Amazi-Girl? Why not go with “Halt Criminal Scum!” at least then you could have been mildly threatening.
But then she might catch an arrow to the knee, ending her adventuring days!
Please she’ll get her cape caught in a door while gangsters gun her down.
. . . I don’t know if I should approve of Amazi-Tits or not.
I mean, to be fair Willis, her tits are probably amazing.
Someone with a slipshine account confirm this for me.