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Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Kevin Buist @kevinbuist.com ⋅ 2d
Ferric Fang @fangferric.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Paul Lê @paulle.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Rolling Stone @rollingstone.com ⋅ 3d
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“MY PARENTS ARE NOT DEEEEEAAD!”
MY PARENTS ARE DEAD……..TIRED!
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEAAAD!
(See it’s funny because my parents are dead.)
(Don’t worry, they died long ago.)
“MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEENTISTS!”
Hermione!
waaait a second
And when they were younger, just bad little kids… Their mothers noticed funny things they did…
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun…
They’d poison guppies, and when they were done…
They’d find a pussy cat and bash in its head…
The fact that your name is count dracula makes your comment way more funny
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELIGHTFUL!
HA
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTONS!
Wanna see my toad collection?
MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
PAAAAAAAAAAAAARDOOOOOOON?!
Why is everyone shouting in my FAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!
Well, you took some of our FEMURS and we needed that to live.
I found this humourus
What’s WRONG with your FAAAAAAACE?!
my parents are deeeeeaaaaannnns at the local community college
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESPERATELY TRYING TO PUT ME THROUGH COLLEGE WITHOUT PUTTING ME INTO DEBT AS WELL
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBT
I JUST WISH ONE OF MY PARENTS WAS DEEEEEAAAAAAD!
Seriously. That guy’s a jerk.
well in one universe.
for all we know her mom’s the ass in this one and her father took her to Korea. Where he remarried and Amber gets along with her little brother , faz
hi
Some nice gravatar/comment synergy today!
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECENT PEOPLE!!!!!
My parents are deeeeeeeeeeeeeeefintiely sick of this gag.
Your parents read webcomics? Awesome!
Not sure if you’re familiar with Amber, but yeah, her parents (or at least one of them) not being dead is kind of the problem here.
I think at this point anyone who’s parents were gunned down in a alleyh would deliberatly try to avoid being batman.
Being Batman is jolly expensive for a start.
Yeah, training around the world and all that gadgets costs a lot.
By the way, Super Dumped is the Superman to her Batman.
Super dumped sounds more like a villain than a hero, and one that needs to work on their fiber level in their diet.
Super Dumped could be the name of a band.
I look forward to reading her “origin”, should be interesting to see what she comes up with
She was exposed to gamma radiation from an old 50s Kids Science Lab Kit while she was doing some work experience in the complaint department, thus giving her super=immunity to criticism.
She witnessed her parents being criticized in a back alley after watching her favorite film. From then on, she trained her mind to resist criticism.
“The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation.”
Bonus points if you recognize the quote.
Deadpool from Marvel Ultimate Alliance, right?
Correct!
I don’t remember where it’s from exactly, but I’m pretty damn sure Deadpool said it.
Amazi-Girl: Year One (minus all the WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES)
Well. That’s no way to get Frank Miller to draw “Amazi-Girl Issue 1”.
If Frank Miller wrote it, it wouldn’t be “Amazi-Girl Issue 1.”
It would be “Goddamn Amazi-Girl Issue 1.”
And Amazi-Girl would be replaced with Crazy Steve and the comic would eventually get reviewed by someone sitting on their futon while wearing a fedora.
I love that you made that reference.
Amazi-Girl: Year One.
All-Star Amazi-Girl and Dan, the Guy Who Is Her Boyfriend And Is Pretty Dumb But Pretty Sweet Too
but whores need loving too
My parents are WHOOOOOOOOOOOOORES
Well, that rules out Dina. We all know her parents were gunned down in an alleyway, so with no other relatives she was sent back in time to the Cretaceous Era and raised by dinosaurs before being sent back to combat evil. The raptors taught her how to hide behind doors.
We saw Dina’s parents in one of the first strips.
All this happened in the past few weeks. Dina’s taking it very well.
Now it’s canon.
They were gunned down by a cannon?
And now it’s a canon cannon.
Oh dear. I never meant to launch the idea of a canon cannon, like a canon cannon cannon might.
It occurs to me that a ‘canon cannon’ cannon is very different from a canon ‘cannon cannon’. I would just like to point out that I would very much enjoy a canon ‘cannon cannon’.
That would, of course, be a cannon that fires smaller cannons out of it. Bonus points if they in turn fire tiny cannonballs as well.
I’m so happy I witnessed this.
Dina’s parents were gunned down by protesting extremist creationists while she was visiting the dinosaur exhibition, thereafter she adopted the Dino-Cap as a symbol to spread fear to all those who reject evolutionary theory.
“Forsooth, my father, Amazi-Dad, is High Lord of Asgard, and I…”
Must put a lot of pressure on a man, being named Amazi-Dad.
Hopefully the pressure never got to him and he never vented it on his family.
Ewwwwwwww….
He must have an awesome mug.
It’s still better than the moniker of his nemesis, Perverti-Uncle.
Maybe he should have asked if she was part alien. I mean, what are the odds of that?
True but what if she IS. Are you really comfortable making out with a different species? That’s gross.
Unless they’re hot, then it’s awesome.
Tell that to Commander Shepard.
Human, Asari, Quarian… it’s all good. It’s the female Batarians you have to watch out for.
Or Captain Kirk.
Not as good as the odds of her being part Martian.
Well the costume shop was having a sale…That’s it. That’s my origin story.
Then the costume got hit by cosmic rays, granted powers by the Norse Gods and was bitten by a radioactive praying mantis.
The mantis’ parents were gunned down by criminals. Thanks for making the mantis cry, Danny.
And she lost the manual describing how to use it.
She was given another manual and lost it too, however there were only two manuals because printing costs are outrageously high, and she never did think to hold the case the costume originally came in and focus on the first manual.
But she lost the instructions for the costume.
“Well once I was dating a guy and he dumped me and I ripped his spine out and I vowed to do the same to any boy who ever dumps me ever again.
I love Amazi-Girl
Did you know you had a Danny grav when you made that comment?
Apropos grav: Haven’t you used the current one before, Plasma? I’m pretty sure I remember this particular one.
(And is that supposed to be Mari Makinami? Looks like her, even though the hair colour is way to light.)
I have used this grav a few times before, I like to recycle sometimes.
You and me both, kid.
I do believe that Amber/AG is my favorite character, but it’s a war between her and Sal from It’s Walky!
I can understand not being able to pick a favourite between two characters, but I’m a little confused as to why you’re calling Ultracar Amazi-Girl. It’s not like it’s a spoiler to use his real identity.
(Also, seeing as Ultracar is in fact in a relationship with a human in Shortpacked!, this sort of comment just got a whole lot more plausible.)
her*
its?
So is anyone else like… really uncomfortable with how terrible this is probably for Danny?
Why? It’s not like there are villains that are gunning for him or anything.
Not yet…
Not until the rise of Dr. The Great Faz!
This… This really needs to happen. After all, the presence of a super-hero always breeds super-villains! Specially nemeses. Amazi-Girl needs a nemesis! And what better nemesis than a secret half-sibling?
This is just my own interpretation, but one of Danny’s major flaws is that he lives in an idealized fantasy world. What with him planning on marrying Dorothy and following her around everywhere to achieve that goal. His entire plan for his future was what would for most people just be their idealized dream. This whole situation seems to me to be enabling that bad tendency.
It just seems unhealthy to me. Dating a super-heroine is like… as close as you can possibly get to dating the idealized concept of a woman rather than the woman herself. That’s how I interpreted the decision he made when he decided to just be friends with Amber and date Amazi-girl in any case. He literally rejected the actual woman in favor of an idealized version of her. Hell, even in this comic, when she offers to tell him who she is as a person, he rejects the idea in favor of asking for more information about her superhero persona.
I’m not saying Amber gets this and is enabling him on purpose. But this is still a bad situation for anybody (I say this being the kind of person to enter into relationships with the idealized concept of my partner and not my partner themselves) but it especially seems bad for Danny.
Now the question is how much of this is Willis’ intended allegory, and how much is my own overanalysis?
Plus, there is the whole thing where a superhero as a girlfriend is going to, by nature, be distant and unavailable. What with the whole fact that you have no idea who they are and probably don’t have any means of getting in contact with them.
Totally agree. But it seems to me that ALL the sexual relationships in DoA are pretty messed up.
Walky/Dorothy is based on the idea that you can have an ongoing intimate relationship without becoming emotionally involved, which is certainly not true in my experience, direct and indirect. If they wake up and realise that hormones have made them care about each other, what are they going to do about their basic differences?
Joyce/Ethan is an attempt to help each other with their emotional problems, but it’s clear from their conversations that they don’t understand each other at all, and certainly don’t understand what the problems they need help with actually are. Neither of them should be in a relationship at all, but they are both just distracting themselves from the things they need to deal with.
Billie/Ruth is already abusive, and (if it gets going) is going to be an abusive relationship. Ruth may have real problems, but she takes them out by bullying vulnerable people, and sex isn’t going to stop that. I think it’s going to go bad.
Roz uses sex for political purposes. That’s just horrible.
Of course, bad relationships make good stories. I think DoA is the best thing Willis has ever done.
When did Dorothy or Walky ever state their relationship was completely free of emotional ties? They like each other, they’re exploring that, Dorothy is upfront that she plans to leave for a different school asap so they’re hoping to keep things somewhat casual. It’s possible they could stay together when she leaves, but Walky isn’t all ‘we’ll be together for the rest fo our lives as I cling to you with no other goals and maybe you might give up your goals and cling to me too!’
Dorothy has repeatedly expressed her ambition to be a serious person with adult goals. She sold all her cartoon books because they were part of the childhood she was leaving behind. But cartoons are the only thing she has in common with Walky (apart from physical attraction). I think she sees him as (caramel flavoured) candy: comforting, but something she’s moving away from.
To Walky, on the other hand, these same cartoons are one of the most important things in his life, and her shared interest is the trigger which made him admit that he likes girls. He’s making a lot of concessions to move out of his comfort zone, and although better clothes and tidier habits seem like trivial changes they go against everything he professes to believe. I think he sees her as something unexpected and wonderful that makes big changes worthwhile.
Of course, people change a lot at that age and they could both grow towards each other, or it could be a fun short-term relationship that ends without too much grief. The worst outcome would be that it remains fun without either of them changing much, they get married by default, and in five years time they need a divorce because they’re too different to live together. At the rate the comic’s going, we won’t ever see that!
Oh, so what you’re saying is that Danny is making terrible decisions and lacks persepctive or appreciation for what makes a proper relationship, rather then Amazi-Girl treating him badly.
Oh yeah, Danny’s an idiot. Most of the cast are idiots.
Honestly, how many of us, particularly among this strip’s audience, would pass up a chance to date a superhero?
Danny likes dating a superhero because it’s cool. (This may be revealing him as a comic book geek, but I think they have pills for that now so it’s fine.) He chose Amazi-Girl over Amber for one of two reasons:
1) He didn’t recognize her, doesn’t like two-timing, and was already with Amazi-Girl and likes the bird in the hand, or:
2) He knows they’re the same person and is playing along to the hilt.
And he didn’t accept her offer to tell him who she was because she didn’t offer; she thought he was demanding the information. And that would be just rude. If she wants to bring him into the fold and doom him to being killed by a supervillian next issue, that’s something she can do at her own pace.
An idealized woman who asks him to clean gunk off a sign. This isn’t exactly glamorous. Half what they do is sit around playing Nintendo.
Dating a superhero means there’s a lack of pressure. She’s not always gonna be around, like he expects Dorothy to be, they don’t have to subordinate each other to the othet’s hopes or goals, since they’re a mystery. He gets to relax and be with a girl who’s driven, but in a very different way.
To qualify, I’m not saying it isn’t adorable. it’s just not gonna end well.
Yeah, having an ass kicking, myseterious woman who obviously likes him and saves him from being assaulted is so terrible for him.
… Nnnnno?
Isn’t anyone forcing Danny to exchange doughnuts and manual labor for Amazi-Kisses. He could walk away if he wanted.
It isn’t making me think he’s any less pathetic, but that’s Danny for you.
I guess you’re referring to the possibility that Danny may be super embarrassed and pissed if (not when) he finds out AG’s identity — which is something I worry about too. AG is really kinda playing him for a fool here.
Well, she freaked out when it first appeared on her computer, but it turns out it’s pretty much just a new version of the EA Download Manager.
Possible Origin Story for Amazi=Girl: She’s practicing for when Stan Lee relaunches the “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?” show.
Another possible origin story: It was passed down to her for generations.
Amazi-Armstrong, the Uncriticizable Alchemist.
Amber’s Dad is basically Ra’s al Ghul
????
Sal becomes Amazi-Girl.
Hmm…. it probably relates somehow.
All these comments about Sal being Amazi-Girl make me think there’s gonna be some bit where Amazi-Girl fighting and distracting Sal gets her into an accident on her bike. She survives with little injuries, but her jacket gets torn and ripped. Stepping off with her helmet on, she loudly asks what’s going on. Biker helmet? Sleeveless leather jacket? Clearly, a new anti-hero’s in town!
(I wonder how grounded Amazi-Girl is. I mean, she does seem to have a grip on reality, but she also seems to have a sort of unrealistic view on how encounters with crime go, as evidenced by the vandals.)
Her parents were graffitied n an alleyway.
AG in the third panel just looks super cute!
“Someone criticized my civilian attire. Never again.”
Danny.
Amazi-Gi-Amber clearly told you cupcakes.AG’s Face, In Stages
Face, Stage 1: “Ughhh yesss, dis donut is soooo gud”
Face, Stage 2: “Huh, I didn’t know this donuts had nuts in it.”
Face, Stage 3: “I think that’s a tooth, and not mine.”
How does she do the blue speech ballons?
A lot of swearing.
*ba-dump ching!*
“You do have a bit of a…reputation.”
it’s her “dark knight” gruff voice……Batman “you are totally dumped”
Yeah, but how does she do it?
By altering the sound of her voice. The bubble is representative of that.
In my mind, she sounds like Annie attempting to do Christian Bale’s voice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUyJqS1nLGs
How does Deadpool do the little yellow boxes?
Oh, gross. That’s a whole other way of breaking the fourth wall.
hm ever since Aizat started popping up in all the threads I keep having this crazy urge to check my back…
Yes, sleep with one eye open. I’ll be watching. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!
Actually, Danny, maybe you should find out a little bit more about the strange woman you just kissed.
I note that whether he is dump-worthy or not, based on what he chooses to say, is irrelevant to what happened to be or not be in her past. Either {he’s a horrible enough person for saying that to (deserve to) be dumped}, or {she would have dumped him without him deserving it}. That she hasn’t found it a horrifying enough thing to dump him for suggests the second, whcih leaves the statement only serving to paint her in a worse light (other than drawing his attention to the lack of tact in the sentence). Hm.
Or she realizes that if that were true she’d have been hurt enough by him bringing it up in such an insensitive way that she wouldn’t be acting rationally.
Or…. she was joking.
Or, and I realize this may seem weird, relationships don’t actually follow the rules of formal logic?
This is still the most adorable thing since Rose/Kanaya.
You clearly haven’t seen Ultra-Car/Mayala.
Gasp! Is Ultra-Car cheating on Malaya?
Not yet. Give it two or three weeks, real time, before one of them cheats on the other.
I would be distraught!
“What do you mean, ‘cheating’? I told you I wasn’t going to be your vibrator. We’re just friends, and my sociological studies show that humanoids can have as many friends as they want. They just have to not hit them with pies.”
Until this point I honestly thought that Danny was feigning ignorance and couldn’t possibly be that stupid.
Obviously I have given him far too much credit.
It’s ok, Danny’s been disappointing people for years.
Just wait untill prom.
Hey, we still haven’t gotten definite proof he isn’t.
No, I don’t think I’m near a river in Egypt. Why do you ask?
Okay, people, I’m putting five bucks on “Her origin story is going to be really, really freaking depressing”.
“My dad married some other woman and my boyfriend turned out to be gay, now I haunt the night.”
“My father was a drinker and a fiend”
“My father…was a race car driver.”
“There were no awesome girl superheroes. Like, c’mon.”
My father… was an accountant. Now I prey the night.
I’m putting money on her origin story being “I just wanted to show some assholes who’s boss around here.”
So, would it not have worked for her to have taken a picture of the engineer defacing public property?
Secondary punchline:
AMAZI-GIRL: By the way, could you get some tea with honey in it next time? This voice is really hard on my throat after a while.
I’m guessing it’s more the “Kick-Ass” origin, “I read too many comic books and it seemed like a really fun thing to do.” Fortunately a college campus isn’t quite as dangerous as the city in Kick-Ass.
“I was bit by a radioactive amazi. Yeah, I’m not sure what it is either, but it hella hurt.”
“MY HOME PLANET IS DEAD!”
Her origin story is clearly “Well, I found it was more efficient to level when my characters had the rested experience point bonus…”
I just started reading this today, and I’m terribly disappointed…
THAT I REACHED THE CURRENT COMIC!!! There are no mores?:(
I will have to do something silly…
Any ideas??
I can’t believe all of you guys forgot “Trained by a secret order of immortal monks at an underground monastery in Tibet. Then left the order to track down her former best friend that went evil and killed their master.” It’s so obvious.
Or, “in a car accident and training in a secret monastery in the middle of nowhere where the teacher gives her life new meaning after showing her that she doesn’t need her surgical abilities to live a fulfilling life”
so what’s the plot of this comic anyhow?
This is a “slice of life” comic. Amazi-girl exists to keep the cretinous villains from extending to the psychotic stage of super-villainy where slice of life isn’t a euphemism, but a dangerous threat.
I saw “Twighlight or Shutterfly” and immediately looked to the poll area. I am disappoint.
Pinkie Pie and her pandemic of precious perpetual partying ftw.
I’d say this is why batman can’t keep a steady girlfriend, but actually it has more to do with them turning evil and/or dying.