Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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SPOILERS -- it occurred to me after finishing this strip that this is a battle between two folks who are dead in my original universe  -- CORPSE FIGHT
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May 12, 2026

Urrgl

by David M Willis on August 21, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Just Hangin' Out With My Family
└ Tags: blaine, howard, ruth

Discussion (398) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Anna1090
    Anna1090
    August 21, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    OH DEAR

    • Resne
      Resne
      August 21, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

      OH MY

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        August 21, 2013 at 2:22 am | #

        OH SNAP

        • AdamBombTV
          AdamBombTV
          August 21, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

          *crashes through wall* OH YEEEEAH!!

          • Sad-weeb
            Sad-weeb
            August 21, 2013 at 2:44 am | #

            OH NO! My wall!

            • Tachyon
              Tachyon
              August 21, 2013 at 3:12 am | #

              Oh no! My liquo- I mean, Kool-Aid stash!

              • Makkabee
                Makkabee
                August 21, 2013 at 6:44 am | #

                OH…KLAHOMA WHERE THE WIND COMES WHISTLIN’ DOWN THE PLAINS!

                • Far
                  Far
                  August 21, 2013 at 10:09 am | #

                  Then it goes whislin thru Dixie (as most fronts travel from west to east in N. America).
                  Dixie kinda that.

                • Squall
                  Squall
                  August 21, 2013 at 10:54 am | #

                  I hope I never have to fly over Oklahoma.

                • Neospector
                  Neospector
                  August 21, 2013 at 11:39 am | #

                  I’ve never been to Oklahoma, I just imagine it being exactly like the musical “Oklahoma”.

                • Heavensrun
                  Heavensrun
                  August 21, 2013 at 12:27 pm | #

                  (Sweeping down the plain.)

                • tahrey
                  tahrey
                  August 29, 2013 at 4:15 am | #

                  O, CANADA!

            • Crimson Doom
              Crimson Doom
              August 21, 2013 at 10:06 am | #

              MY CABBAGES!

              • Ryorin
                Ryorin
                August 21, 2013 at 4:47 pm | #

                SPACE SWORD!

                • LittleMountain
                  LittleMountain
                  September 16, 2014 at 8:01 pm | #

                  TIGER DRIVER!

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              August 21, 2013 at 2:56 pm | #

              “Okay, now I see why people get so pissed when I smash through their walls.”

  2. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    August 21, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    And it’s a draw.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      A draw? Blaine is running away with his tail tucked between his legs. If anything, Ruth won by forfeit.

      • showler
        showler
        August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        He got past Ruth and is continuing his pursuit of Amber. I think he won that round. Of course, he might be about to encounter Billie again.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          August 21, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

          Yeah, by choosing to throw him, Ruth fucked up.

          Should’ve just hit him. Now she’s out with nausea due to quitting booze cold turkey, and Blaine’s got a chance of catching up to Amber.

          Amber can still kick his ass, but since he’s in pursuit, Blaine might be able to get a couple good blows in before she does.

          Again, Ruth just plain fucked up.

          • taekwondogirl
            taekwondogirl
            August 21, 2013 at 9:19 am | #

            Best move would have been to step aside and help redirect his energy so he went face-first into the wall.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          August 21, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

          “Won” in the sense of someone rationally pursuing a tactical objective, rather than a hate-filled rage man getting battered around by barely-adult girls.

          Also, called it.

          • TheBenenator
            TheBenenator
            August 21, 2013 at 2:48 pm | #

            He strikes me as more of a rage-filled hate man…

        • fogel
          fogel
          August 21, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

          Why won’t he encounter Amazigirl?

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        August 21, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        She’s failing to prevent him running away. That’s a point in his column, since if she succeeded, a talk with the cops is the best case scenario for him. (Worst case is a continued beating THEN a talk with the cops, followed by a 8X6 cell and further ass-kickings by the other inmates.)

        • LookingIn
          LookingIn
          August 21, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

          A talk with the cops is likely no matter what, he was told to leave and refused, verbally assaulted a student, and if his name is on the “approved family member” list he is tresspassing…

          Basically, he is in deep shit already.

          • Chrissy
            Chrissy
            August 21, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

            He assaulted two students, actually

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            August 21, 2013 at 3:11 am | #

            Likely, but not guaranteed.

            The trespass is unlikely to be followed up on by itself – too much effort for too little payoff. (Actually, on doing a little research, that might not be the case – apparently trespassing is (or can be) a felony in Indiana, so it might, in fact, be worth following up on.)

            The assaults likely will be, but that depends on how Amber reacts now that Blaine is gone – which I can’t even begin to guess – and how everybody else responds to that. If, like Joyce after the near-rape, or, like me after I’ve had to call 911 on a family member (not a parent) and falls back onto ‘he’s gone, I just want to forget about this’, and everybody else decides to respect that (unlikely, since Ruth is there, a victim in her own right, and likely able to get enough of Blaine’s info to sic the cops on him without forcing Amber to talk), the cops might not even be called – and if they already were, he’s liable to be long-gone by the time they show up, and if Amber and Ruth decide not to push the matter, they’re likely to stick to ‘well, we can keep a car outside the building in case he comes back’, since we come back to ‘too much trouble with not enough payoff’ if the victims are reticent.

            (Also, we come back to the possibility I raised yesterday that they might get unlucky with the cop, and draw one that doesn’t feel it’s worth giving his full effort to what he considers nothing but a ‘family squabble’.)

            If he sticks around, however, it’s a sure thing.

            • Totz the Plaid
              Totz the Plaid
              August 21, 2013 at 4:44 am | #

              Why does everyone think Blaine is gone?

              Ruth THREW HIM IN THE VERY DIRECTION AMBER RAN.

              He’s still fucking going after her.

              Ruth. Fucked. Up.

              • Makkabee
                Makkabee
                August 21, 2013 at 6:48 am | #

                Several people have already mentioned that Blaine is still pursuing Amber in this thread.

              • davidbreslin101
                davidbreslin101
                August 21, 2013 at 8:43 am | #

                Well, at least Ruth bought Amber some time. And now she’s out of Blaine’s sight somewhere in her home territory. Unfortunately, her Spider-Car suit is still in her room.

            • AllTheTimeEver
              AllTheTimeEver
              August 21, 2013 at 10:53 am | #

              I’m just going to point out that Faz is still in the dorm room, as he did not follow Blaine. So I don’t think his dad will run away from the school without him, or he’ll likely be in big shit, or will need to come back anyways. And the police/campus security could hold onto Faz until he is picked up, either because he is under age, or if he’s not, under the pretense of trespassing.

              • Xenav
                Xenav
                August 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm | #

                I believe Willis said he was 17 either in the comments of an previous strip or on tumblr.

    • Animal
      Animal
      August 21, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Fights – real fights – are frequently “draws” in the sense that nobody really wins. Both parties usually lose, in that they ended up all busted up.

      Full disclosure: In my foolish youth, I was what you might consider a “rough character.” Never in my life started a fight, but I sure as hell ended a few, and was the comeuppance for a few bullies.

      Graduated high school and took two jobs – bouncer in a biker wannabe bar on the weekends, repossessing cars during the week. Repo work got me into Chicago, Gary once, Detroit once, a few other places. Bad neighborhoods, you know? Got shot at three times.

      Joined the Army figuring it’d be safer. Ended up in an infantry unit whose regimental history included North Africa, Anzio and Monte Cassino, and we were expected to live up to that. It gave me some mental discipline to go along with the big, tough farm-boy physical side.

      I’ve been shot once, stuck once, had my nose broken three times, busted four ribs, and had a pool cue busted across the back of my head. (Yes, it hurt.) So I’ve seen a few scraps.

      Nobody really wins. You might be the last guy standing, but you’ve still lost.

      • fcojose24
        fcojose24
        August 21, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        Wow , that speech sounded precise and wise D:

        • Sye
          Sye
          August 21, 2013 at 7:22 am | #

          That’s because Animal IS precise and wise. And awesome.

          Good to see you ’round these parts, Animal. Been wondering if you read this one or not. 🙂

          • Animal
            Animal
            August 21, 2013 at 8:51 am | #

            Well, I’m precise, anyway.

            I’ve been around. Busier than I was back in the Keenspot/Nightsar days.

      • LazerWulf
        LazerWulf
        August 21, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

        Your screen name is very apropos, as you, sir, are a beast.

      • Gordon Blvd
        Gordon Blvd
        August 21, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

        a beast, maybe……………………but one with honor.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        August 21, 2013 at 5:00 pm | #

        It doesn’t really count if something unrelated to the fight hinders you. Notice how the guy also looks surprised and/or scared.

  3. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    August 21, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    D’OH!

    • NightmareWarden
      NightmareWarden
      August 21, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      FRUMPH!

  4. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    August 21, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Ruth uses body slam, hurts herself in the confusion

    • ArkhamTexan
      ArkhamTexan
      August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      See?! That’s why only trained professionals should do it!

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        If by “trained professional” you mean “13-year-old kids” then America is doing great by now…

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Naw:
      Ruth uses strength.
      It super effective.
      Ruth is hurt by alcohol poisoning.
      Blaine got away safely.

      • Chill
        Chill
        August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        Howard is confused!

        • aqua
          aqua
          August 21, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

          Howard made himself look stupid in his confusion!

      • Icalasari
        Icalasari
        August 21, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

        That doesn’t work. Normal can’t hit for super effective

        This looks more like Submission: A fighting type attack. Amber’s Dad is CLEARLY a normal type, making the attack super effective. Submission also hurts the user

        • Kam
          Kam
          August 21, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

          i’d say he’s more a poison type

          • Vibbles
            Vibbles
            August 21, 2013 at 6:38 am | #

            Wouldn’t work; Fighting moves do 1/2 damage to Poison types. Maybe if what Ruth pulled out was a Bulldoze attack- her Speed stat IS obvs lowered.

            He could totally be Dark-type, though, in which case Super Effective Submission still works?

            • Regalli
              Regalli
              August 21, 2013 at 2:19 pm | #

              Yeah, especially since I’m pretty sure “Dark type” actually refers to fighting dirty or evil or somesuch (Hence why there’s no Light type- Fighting, with its emphasis on fairness and the like, is its equivalent opposite). I’d say it counts.

            • Mephron
              Mephron
              August 21, 2013 at 5:35 pm | #

              Is there such a thing as asshat-type Pokemon or is that just for some of the trainers?

        • ICSM
          ICSM
          August 21, 2013 at 9:05 am | #

          Blaine didn’t really look that much damaged from Ruth’s attack.

          Seismic Toss has fixed damage based off your level. Highly effective against lower lv enemies [ruth is older than Billie], not so damaging against someone with higher lv. Circle Throw kind of fits too, since it is a throw and it ends the fight, but is has negative priority, so Blaine should have attacked first. Unless he also used a negative priority move, of course.

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        August 21, 2013 at 6:12 am | #

        Ruth was badly poisoned by Withdrawal Symptoms!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Blaine Fled with Runaway.

    • Ragnal
      Ragnal
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      That’s not a body slam, that’s a belly-to-belly suplex.

      Can’t even remember the last time I saw that done in a wrestling ring.

      • ArkhamTexan
        ArkhamTexan
        August 21, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Didn’t Brock pull one of those on Punk at Summerslam on Sunday? It was outside the ring, I think.

      • Flushmaster
        Flushmaster
        August 21, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

        I’m going under the assumption that Ruth used some type of Judo throw. Judo is big on using your adversary’s momentum against them and she did look to be falling backwards while in a combat stance in the last panel of yesterday’s strip, then follows through with a quick lift and pull to slam that bastard.

        And a belly to belly suplex starts with what’s basically a low-grip bear hug, which was definitely not the case here.

        • John
          John
          August 21, 2013 at 3:59 am | #

          I’m pretty sure Ruth learned that move from playing Taki.

          She screwed it up, though. (Probably because of the alcohol withdrawal.) She’s supposed to flip back to her feet afterwards.

        • fogel
          fogel
          August 21, 2013 at 9:47 am | #

          It’s actually a secret Canadian martial art: you throw your for, then hurl.

          • fogel
            fogel
            August 21, 2013 at 9:48 am | #

            foe, not for

        • gka
          gka
          August 21, 2013 at 12:17 pm | #

          It could be a rear sacrifice throw (i.e. you fall onto your back as you toss your opponent), which are fairly diverse in judo — but since the hand positioning doesn’t match anything I know of and you can’t see what her feet are doing, it’s impossible to say. Most rear sacrifice throws use the feet to push the opponent over one’s body, which panel 2 only vaguely suggests. The only one I know of that doesn’t use the feet like that involves taking the opponent from their side, not the front. (Not that precise hand to hand combat accuracy is required, of course.) In either case, you can generally roll into the mount position from a sacrifice throw, but Ruth is probably a bit too drunk for that.

      • JefLebowski
        JefLebowski
        August 21, 2013 at 2:34 pm | #

        …this might actually be a Tomoe-Nage, a Judo move.
        Can’t see if she used her leg or no, so I can’t tell for sure.

      • Slack One
        Slack One
        August 21, 2013 at 6:27 pm | #

        Actually looks more like a back body drop, I.e. the standard flipping a guy by bending over after they rebound off the ropes from an Irish whip then standing up that’s been a wrestling staple since the 60’s. Ruth just blew the spot by falling over:-P

        • blackaeon
          blackaeon
          October 3, 2013 at 10:52 pm | #

          Judging by the positioning of her arms, it’s actually a double-underhook belly to belly suplex. The ‘back’ in back body drop indicates that the opponent is dropped onto their back, which would have left Blaine in the same position as Ruth was, albeit on top of her (which she could have translated into a rear naked choke).

    • Darth
      Darth
      August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      No no no! Body slam won’t hurt yourself, it just has a 30% chance of paralyzing the opponent!

      I would suggest a recoil move, like Take Down or Double Edge, though those are far better if Ruth had the ability Rock Head.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Or to fit the wrestling mood, Submission.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 21, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        But she wasn’t hurt by recoil. She was confused and hurt herself in her confusion.

        • Chrissy
          Chrissy
          August 21, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

          I think it was poison damage from a previous battle… Should’ve used an antidote before battle.

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Geminia999 uses Awesome Comment! Wonder Wig is stunned.

      • Geminia999
        Geminia999
        August 21, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Wonderwig uses COmpliment, Geminia999 is confused

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 21, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

          Squall uses Substitute!

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            August 21, 2013 at 3:46 am | #

            Mr. Random used Metronome.
            .
            Mr. Random used Metronome.
            .
            Mr. Random used Sleep!

    • LookingIn
      LookingIn
      August 21, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

      Have to blame Howard for that one…looks like she hit her head off his leg.

  5. kenny
    kenny
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Damn it!

  6. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    You guys are fast! :p

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      That’s why my Ex dumped me…

      • ArkhamTexan
        ArkhamTexan
        August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        NO, YOTOMOE, NO. Whenever discussing these sorts of things it’s YOU that dumped HER! You weren’t too fast–she was too slow!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 21, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          YOU’RE TOO SLOW!!!

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 21, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

            Personally, I prefer your mom.

            • Nex
              Nex
              August 21, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

              For a nickle

              With Mike

          • ArkhamTexan
            ArkhamTexan
            August 21, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

            I can’t help it if I have stamina, Yotomoe. Your being too fast is why I dumped you.

          • AJBulldis
            AJBulldis
            August 21, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

            Yotomoe the Hedgehog. DRAW IT! BECOME ONE WITH THE 12 YEAR OLDS.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              August 21, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

              I have FAR too much self respect.

              • AJBulldis
                AJBulldis
                August 21, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

                Bet you never thought you’d get to say that.

                • Squall
                  Squall
                  August 21, 2013 at 2:29 am | #

                  Being the fastest isn’t always the best superpower.you might warp reality into something sinister because you want to have one person back. You might cause Bruce Wayne to not be batman!

                • Rex Hondo
                  Rex Hondo
                  August 21, 2013 at 3:21 am | #

                  Or if you’re Lego Flash, you may just be more of a pain in the ass to steer than it’s worth. 😛

  7. Darth
    Darth
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Well now we know who Amazi-Girl REALLY is!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Yeah, Rick Steiner.

  8. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Round one goes to Ruth!
    Round two goes to alcohol withdrawal!

  9. JBO
    JBO
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Well she could have at least vomited all over him.
    Poor thing. Billie should give her a hug to cheer her up.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      …and a lap to throw up in. 😀

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        Billie’s lap is the only lap worthy of Ruth Bile.

        • Kiggy
          Kiggy
          August 21, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          iiiick

      • fogel
        fogel
        August 21, 2013 at 9:51 am | #

        Could have head-butted Blaine in the nutz, then hurled on his lap…

  10. Psycho
    Psycho
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Run bongo, run.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      August 21, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

      Run while you still have femurs!

      • dethtoll
        dethtoll
        August 21, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

        i love that you both have the same gravatar

        • dethtoll
          dethtoll
          August 21, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

          haha and i have it too

          • Themself
            Themself
            August 21, 2013 at 11:29 am | #

            The invasion has come!

            • Undrave
              Undrave
              August 21, 2013 at 6:08 pm | #

              BOW BEFORE THE GALLASSO COLLECTIVE!!!

              • The Candyman
                The Candyman
                August 21, 2013 at 10:12 pm | #

                Eh, still better than an invasion of Fazes.

  11. Audiophillie
    Audiophillie
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Withdrawal symptoms! Ruth’s only weakness!

    Well, unless you wanna count trucks as well.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      And alcoholic cheerleaders.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Too soon.

      No, really, BringBackRoomies! hasn’t gotten there quite yet.

    • LookingIn
      LookingIn
      August 21, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

      Think that was a concussion, rather than alcohol.

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        August 21, 2013 at 2:44 am | #

        Man, Billie is ROUGH in the sack.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 21, 2013 at 10:22 am | #

          Danny’s actually lucky he turned her down. Poor guy wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

          • Undrave
            Undrave
            August 21, 2013 at 6:09 pm | #

            Death by snu-snu!

            • LookingIn
              LookingIn
              August 21, 2013 at 10:04 pm | #

              Sadly, Ruth and Billie never got to snu-snu…this to me was the result of her hitting Howard’s leg or hitting the floor hard both of which could cause a concussion(I know I have had a couple this way…)

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 21, 2013 at 2:30 am | #

      Oh no! Ruth has a funcussion!

  12. Gygaxian
    Gygaxian
    August 21, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    FINISH HIM!

    • Noel Schornhorst
      Noel Schornhorst
      August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Maybe Ninja Rick will appear out of nowhere and stab him…

  13. xain
    xain
    August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Wow Howard before i thought you actually made a joke you telling you your that naive

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      …I’m gonna need you to reword that…

      • xain
        xain
        August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Wow Howard before i thought you actually made a joke you telling mr your that naive

        • xain
          xain
          August 21, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          Wow got the same post wrong twice in a row that tells me i need sleep stat

  14. kenny
    kenny
    August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Well I suppose this just means Amazi-girl is going to kick his ass next strip. Damn it Ruth, lay off the sauce.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      But spaghetti sauce is delicious.

      • NightmareWarden
        NightmareWarden
        August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Chili sauce is the best sauce.

        • JBO
          JBO
          August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

          Champignon sauce.

          • AgentKeen
            AgentKeen
            August 21, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

            Chocolate sauce.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 21, 2013 at 2:31 am | #

              Body sauce!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

          Hot sauce is my personal favourite.

          • Kiggy
            Kiggy
            August 21, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

            Tabasco Chipotle

            Followed by Cholula’s

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            August 21, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

            Sriracha! Great on pizza.

          • Bratty Roger
            Bratty Roger
            May 15, 2016 at 4:50 pm | #

            For me, it’s (Japanese)curry & terriaki sauces – although it’s been a long time since I’ve had the curry, and it didn’t occur to me (untill just now, as I’m writing this) to combine them.

  15. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Howard, now is not the time! Go watch Star Trek while the grown ups tear each other apart.

  16. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Panel 4 says it all.

    What a weasel….

  17. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 21, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    In Soviet Russia, the Ed sexes you!

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      In Indiana the TA sexes you!

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        And the RA, for that matter. Jury’s out on the Professors.

        • JBO
          JBO
          August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          Alan/Dina. I ship it now.

        • fogel
          fogel
          August 21, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

          Any prof who sexes with one of their own students SHOULD be on the street. Which is where Jason SHOULD be.

          • JBO
            JBO
            August 21, 2013 at 5:14 pm | #

            Except he isn’t a prof.

          • LockeZ
            LockeZ
            August 21, 2013 at 11:27 pm | #

            …why?

            I mean, in middle school that’s obviously not cool. But if you have sex with a consenting adult, why’s it matter if they’re your student or not? Doesn’t seem that different from a boss screwing an employee.

  18. NeutroBlaster
    NeutroBlaster
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Blaine better run.

  19. Phil
    Phil
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Bastard be gettin’ his ass kicked by KIDS. Can’t be good for his poor, frail ego. >: D

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Or his poor frail bones.

    • NightmareWarden
      NightmareWarden
      August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      We still haven’t seen the effect of attacks on his poor frail FAAAAAAAACE.

      • NightmareWarden
        NightmareWarden
        August 21, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        We must attack ALL of his face, not just the upper lip…for science, of course!

    • Somebody
      Somebody
      August 21, 2013 at 5:11 pm | #

      They’re not kids…

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        August 21, 2013 at 10:57 pm | #

        That is entirely a matter of perspective. Anyone closer to my oldest daughter’s age than they are to mine is pretty much automatically a kid. Which is a probably why the bulk of internet porn seems to get creepier and creepier the older I get…

        • LockeZ
          LockeZ
          August 21, 2013 at 11:29 pm | #

          They’re in their physical prime and he’s way past it. So from the perspective of a fight, it definitely doesn’t make sense to say he should have won because they’re kids.

  20. ArkhamTexan
    ArkhamTexan
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Goddammit, Howard, start trying to make “lesbian pregnant” a thing!

    Also, I got my corpse. Anyone else got their corpses? Let’s do this thing.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      But lesbian pregnancy is already a thing.

    • John
      John
      August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Dibs on Dina.

      • JBO
        JBO
        August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Dibs on Big Boss.

        • ArkhamTexan
          ArkhamTexan
          August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

          I guess I’ll just use Boss’s corpse then…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          Dib dib dib, dob dob dob.

          • N0083rP00F
            N0083rP00F
            August 23, 2013 at 10:15 am | #

            Ahem … That is supposed to be…
            dyb dyb dyb, dob dob dob

            YIS – Rikki Tikki Tavi / Hawkeye

      • Raen
        Raen
        August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        I got Grace here.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        August 21, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

        I’d say I got Mike, but I think he’s disqualified fer being a zombie.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 21, 2013 at 2:33 am | #

        Dibs on Ruth!

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        August 21, 2013 at 2:21 pm | #

        I call Pamela.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Howard wants it to be a thing so much he’s pushing it on ruth to admit it exists.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 21, 2013 at 10:32 am | #

        I have a feeling he does that for a lot if things.

        “Being a Trekkie is totally cool.”
        “Howard, no it isn’t-”
        “Dammit, Ruth, just do this for me!”

    • nothri
      nothri
      August 21, 2013 at 12:24 pm | #

      Naw man, our corpses should just hang out. Have a corpse party. Just without any Sachiko to ruin everyone’s fun.

  21. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Don’t know what to love more, the comedy or the suplex…

  22. Z3tto
    Z3tto
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    I hereby dub this “The second-greatest suplex in all of fiction.”

    First is, of course, Sabin suplexing the Phantom Train in FF6.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      That’s on my “Greatest application of wrestling move in non-wrestling related fiction”…next to Mike Haggar piledrivering Odin.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Yeah, that one’s pretty much untoppable.

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 21, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      I think you are forgetting about the Greatest Teacher that ever was. His was the greatest suplex of all times. He was even hired for that one.

      • silvestercrow
        silvestercrow
        August 21, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

        I bet ruth is related to him, but she’s better at using peoples blody femurs to hit them in the face…while mike does their moms for a nickel.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 21, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

        He is my hero. I someday hope to be a teacher as great as he is.

        • JBO
          JBO
          August 21, 2013 at 5:15 pm | #

          So you intend to lust after your students?

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 22, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

            It’s not a requirement, but if my students are like his, there’s no avoiding it.

    • showler
      showler
      August 21, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      I suppose the Hulk taking out the space worm thing wasn’t really a suplex, just momentum.

  23. NightmareWarden
    NightmareWarden
    August 21, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ruth, I am disappointed. Also, why aren’t any of the other parents running after him in the final panel?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      They probably got caught off guard by that wicked suplex.

  24. LimeTH
    LimeTH
    August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Man, Ruth is so awesome she gets a reaction out Amber’s dad. That’s somethin’.

    • TrueVCU
      TrueVCU
      August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      But has apparently been poisoned by the exposure

  25. Aizat
    Aizat
    August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    THAT’S RIGHT FOOL! FLEE, FLEE AND NEVER RETURN. AND FROM NOW ON, YOU SHALL BE CALL MR RUN AWAY.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Wonder how long it’ll take Doctor Who to comment on this…

      • VizardJeffhog
        VizardJeffhog
        August 21, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        Three minutes!

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          August 21, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          18 actually.

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 21, 2013 at 10:34 am | #

            You could travel back in time to 3 minutes after it was posted.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 21, 2013 at 10:56 am | #

              But that would cross the timeline!

              • Mr. Random
                Mr. Random
                August 21, 2013 at 12:45 pm | #

                Not unless he posted the original seed comment here, under Aizat’s name.

    • JBO
      JBO
      August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      That action. “Run away.” I want you to be famous for that exact action. I want people to call you Daddy Runaway. I want children laughing outside your door, ’cause they’ve found the house of Daddy Runaway. And when people come to you and ask if trying to get into this dorm through the people you pretend to love … is in any way a good idea, I want you to tell them your name. Look, I’m angry, that’s new. I’m really not sure what’s going to happen now.

    • Captain Jack
      Captain Jack
      August 21, 2013 at 5:46 am | #

      Thanks for the Doctor Who reference!

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 21, 2013 at 9:05 am | #

        Captain Jack. You need this gravvy.
        http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58911993455

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 21, 2013 at 10:35 am | #

          Everyone needs that gravitar. My eagle is sad he isn’t as awesome.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 21, 2013 at 10:53 am | #

            It is the best gravvy ever. This is because of the juxtaposition of so much awesomeness.

  26. Gram91
    Gram91
    August 21, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Wow, can’t believe I forgot about that. Seriously though, hands up to whoever forgot her current condition too.

  27. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    August 21, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    His face says it all. Don’t fuck with that girl.

  28. Regalli
    Regalli
    August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    DAMMIT!

    Now would be an excellent time for the Saruyamas to reveal their behind-the-door teleportation skills are genetic so they can stop him. Or for Falyn and Sierra to have run ahead, let Amber escape, and block the doors when he gets there.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Dina teleports on the ground in the middle of the hallway floor. Blaine trips over her like a log.

      • JBO
        JBO
        August 21, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        So Dina is a Naruto style ninja?

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 21, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

          No because she’s an actual ninja, not a wizard that wants to be a ninja.

          • Kyrros
            Kyrros
            August 21, 2013 at 3:13 am | #

            Ninja-Wizard?

            http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb301/BFGTR/mortor.gif

            Oh man, that would be so frickin’ AWESOME! :-p

  29. Raen
    Raen
    August 21, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    That is the most inconveniently specific DT I’ve ever seen.

    Also, wow, Howard, way to out your sister to her hall.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      I’m sure noone listens to howard. I can barely get myself to READ his lines.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 21, 2013 at 2:36 am | #

        Howard has lines?

        • Crimson Doom
          Crimson Doom
          August 21, 2013 at 10:12 am | #

          Who’s Howard?

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 21, 2013 at 10:38 am | #

            Isn’t he that guy who’s friends with Joe?

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 21, 2013 at 11:35 am | #

              I think he’s that one guy who likes Joyce?

  30. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    What…what is Blaine’s plan here? Keep running until he finds the Jerkass Ex-Husband coalition to back him up?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 21, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Fairly certain he’s going after Amber. He’s looking to pay her back for that punch, most likely.

      • Luzahn
        Luzahn
        August 21, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Right, she kept going that way. Still terrible plan, but slightly more ominous.

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          August 21, 2013 at 2:47 am | #

          I hope they run into Joe’s dad and he uses his bone doctor power to break his femur!

          • Captain Jack
            Captain Jack
            August 21, 2013 at 5:47 am | #

            I’m personally hoping that he runs into Sarah and she get’s to go Old Testament on his ass.

  31. The Weird Guy
    The Weird Guy
    August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Welp. Now we now what Blaine’s Pokemon ability would be. Liquid Ooze. Just being in physical contact with him causes severe poisoning.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      It’s clearly, Run Away.

  32. John
    John
    August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Someone picked the wrong week to stop drinking.

    • Noel Schornhorst
      Noel Schornhorst
      August 21, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Looks I picked the wrong week to give up amphetamines…

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        August 21, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

        Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue…

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 21, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

          Looks like I picked the wrong day to start drinking dish detergent.

          • Kyrros
            Kyrros
            August 21, 2013 at 3:16 am | #

            I picked a helluva day to quit drinkin’

            • Rex Hondo
              Rex Hondo
              August 21, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

              I picked the wrong day to give up Tek.

              • The Candyman
                The Candyman
                August 21, 2013 at 10:40 am | #

                I picked the wrong day to stop snorting cocaine off of hookers.

                You didn’t read that.

                • ocbrad1
                  ocbrad1
                  August 21, 2013 at 11:11 am | #

                  You too?

                • Rex Hondo
                  Rex Hondo
                  August 21, 2013 at 10:59 pm | #

                  I didn’t?!

                  Shit, here are the DTs, then…

  33. nothri
    nothri
    August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Phone. 911. Now.

  34. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    August 21, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Blaine bumped his head but good in the second panel. So although it looks like he’s going to escape, at least his violent assholery may have bought him a good, long headache.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Or a cracked skull. Oh please let him have a cracked skull.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      He probably will have difficulty with coordination for a bit depending on how hard he was hit.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 21, 2013 at 10:42 am | #

      I’m hoping he gets amnesia and forgets how much of an asshole he was. Which would be a seriously specific case of amnesia, but still.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 21, 2013 at 11:39 am | #

        He has nice guy eyes now!!!

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 21, 2013 at 4:28 pm | #

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58936900386/blaine-with-sexy-eyes

  35. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    She just did a brainbuster UNAIDED.

    That’s physically impossible.

    Therefore, Ruth is a super hero.

  36. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    August 21, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    I am very disappointed that Blaine has yet to have his jerk ass handed to him. Nice throw, though.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      He did manage to get his head handed to him.

      only he won’t be able to wake up and try again.
      (video game referencessssssss)

  37. Greg
    Greg
    August 21, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Heh. Nice onomatopoeia in panel two.

  38. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Blaine: Arrogant Douchebage, Agressive Parent, Giant Pussy

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      You forgot Pansy Asshole 1st Grade.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        August 21, 2013 at 2:27 am | #

        Also Fuckin Dickweed and Massive Jerkwad

    • phroggonalog
      phroggonalog
      August 21, 2013 at 4:18 am | #

      http://books.google.com/books?id=_3e2lx-UsiAC&pg=PA56&lpg=PA56&dq=smellshit+mozart&source=bl&ots=s_PWMcweC-&sig=smMaa-JYy65QTHh4kbIqhlIDITw&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Y3cUUp-yK6KbygHSqYC4Dw&ved=0CCMQ6AEwBA

  39. NightmareWarden
    NightmareWarden
    August 21, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    OH MY GOSH, I just remembered! Billie is no where to be found. Meaning that she left to get the papers and now Blaine is headed right for her!
    Billie will see that her lover has fallen in battle and will her ultimate attack on the despicable one.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      He will run into her and bounce back like hitting a bowl of gelatin.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 21, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

        Or he will be absorbed into her cleavage. never to be seen again.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          August 21, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

          Picture that. Picture that sequence in your brain. It is creepy. Thanks for the nightmare. It’s creepy. Really creepy.

        • Captain Jack
          Captain Jack
          August 21, 2013 at 5:49 am | #

          Too good of a fate for him.

        • ocbrad1
          ocbrad1
          August 21, 2013 at 11:13 am | #

          You make that sound like a bad thing.

    • Shadlyn Wolfe
      Shadlyn Wolfe
      August 21, 2013 at 6:24 am | #

      I can only hope. I don’t imagine Billie does any fancy throws or anything. She seems like a straight-up ball-kicker.

      • N0083rP00F
        N0083rP00F
        August 23, 2013 at 10:25 am | #

        Oh? Do you mean she will transform him into a Balchinian?

  40. Herb
    Herb
    August 21, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    Wow! Are we sure there aren’t enhanced SEMME agents running around this continuity?

  41. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    August 21, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    Women 2. Blaine 0

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Blaine is the biggest 0.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 21, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        Calling Blaine a 0 is an insult to 0s everywhere.

        • Kiggy
          Kiggy
          August 21, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          ^this^

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 21, 2013 at 10:43 am | #

          Blaine is a -1.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            August 21, 2013 at 8:13 pm | #

            Blaine is not even a number.

  42. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    August 21, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    So, Blaine is running away, leaving Faz to be raised by college students? What could *possibly* go wrong?!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      Joe: I will teach you all I know about ladies, kid.
      Faz: Between your skills and my persistance, we will bang every woman in the campus!!!!
      *they both laugh maniacally*

      • Kiggy
        Kiggy
        August 21, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        ^THIS EVEN MORE!^

      • ocbrad1
        ocbrad1
        August 21, 2013 at 11:15 am | #

        Yotomoe, so much of what you come up with is awesome and epic, but this has compelled me to declare you the winner of today’s episode of the interwebz!

  43. Bemmie
    Bemmie
    August 21, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    Going through Blaine’s head:-

    “Wait she is smaller then me and threw me over her head… My god Amber was right! ….Wait a minute they’re all smaller then me, damn them with their low centre’s of gravity! Must flee!”

  44. xain
    xain
    August 21, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    Ruth used Seismic Toss, it was ineffective. Blaine ran away

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 21, 2013 at 3:35 am | #

      I owned pokemon yellow when I was ten. Out of boredom at my grandmother’s house, I played. I was excited when I caught a Snorlax. It turned out to be really strong, and quickly outpaced my normal poke team. It got to the point where I was simply using the Elite Four as training for this one Snorlax. Out of all its moves, I only needed two, psywave and body slam.
      I used body slam on all the pokemon save Agatha’s.
      Everytime it would say,
      Snorlax used body slam.
      .
      ,
      .
      …But it was ineffective.
      X fainted!

      I guess what I’m trying to say is this.
      Just because it’s ineffective doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a meaningful effect.
      Also, I hope Blaine faints. And then the authorities don’t have to rush.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 21, 2013 at 9:33 am | #

      Seismic Toss does damage based on level, it’s impossible for it to be ineffective.

  45. Zap Rowsdower
    Zap Rowsdower
    August 21, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    American Sex Ed is more a theoretical concept than a reality.

    When I went to school it basically consisted of an apathetic “you probably know more than I do about this, so here’s an informational sheet I downloaded off the internet about condom use, no, I’m not going to demonstrate on a banana. Now let’s watch some Lifetime Original Movies and episodes of Intervention”.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 21, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      At my school it was like “Look kids, don’t be stupid. If you want sex don’t ask prostitutes, wear protection and babies are really gross. If you can’t figure that out on your own, I don’t know what to tell ya.”

      • JebJeb
        JebJeb
        August 21, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        My school was “Draw a piece of paper out of this bag. Congratulations, to those of you who drew a blank piece of paper, you’re STD free. The rest of you have a horrible disease. Now, let’s talk about condoms.” I’m not making that up.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        August 21, 2013 at 5:23 pm | #

        It’s arguably more risky to have sex with a stranger who isn’t a prostitute…at least where it’s legal.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 21, 2013 at 9:32 am | #

      Wow, American sex-ed sucks ass. I’m Canadian and we had diagrams and extensive talks and videos and prop demonstrations. There was even a humourus moment with the overhead projector, a pen and a picture of a penis.

      And that was just the first one we had.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        August 21, 2013 at 2:32 pm | #

        It really, really does.

        Mine was actually called Health class. We had one unit on sexual reproduction that told us nothing useful after sixth grade. We went over STDs and the very basics of the anatomy. We had to take this for half a semester every year from sixth to eighth grade, and one semester in high school. I learned a bit about drugs, but absolutely nothing about sex ed.

    • JQuire
      JQuire
      August 21, 2013 at 9:37 pm | #

      Man, I am so lucky to have gone to a good school in a blue state. We got a pretty thorough explanation of all the types of birth control…

      …but no banana 🙁

  46. Ryune
    Ryune
    August 21, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    Can we just marvel at the fact that Ruth lifted a large man who is several inches taller than her (and probably quite a lot of pounds heavier than her) OVER HER HEAD and FLIPPED HIM? Nausea or not, do not mess with Ruth.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 21, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Yeah, there’s only one rule: DON’T FUCK WITH RUTH.

    • NobodySpecial
      NobodySpecial
      August 21, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      That’s just jujitsu, used his own momentum against him. That’s also why he wasn’t terribly shaken up by it.

    • Thor
      Thor
      August 21, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      It’s just a matter of leverage, momentum, and technique. Blaine provided the first two, so all she had to come up with was the last.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      August 21, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

      What everyone else said. She did the same thing to Billie (which I guess was a week or two ago in-story time?).

      That said, there’s little doubt she’s uncommonly strong for a woman of her size.

    • Peruhain
      Peruhain
      August 21, 2013 at 4:08 am | #

      There is a judo maneuver a bit like that–tomoe nage. However, it involves the thrower rolling backward and hoisting the throwee with a stiff leg to the waist. If properly done (it’s hard to pull off) the throwee lands somewhat like Amber’s dad just did, and a very skilled thrower might roll back upright, landing on top of the throwee and pinning him. You’d have to be lot bigger than your opponent to do what Ruth just did without the stiff leg. Otherwise the throwee ends up on top of the thrower, which is . . . awkward and undesirable, obviously.

      • CallMeIshmael
        CallMeIshmael
        August 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm | #

        There’s also a few sacrifice (sutemi-waza) throws that work like tomoe. If Ruth had more control of the head, it would look like tawara gaeshi, if there’s an arm lock she’d be doing hikikomi gaeshi. But to my eyes it looks more like a yoko ura nage or an ude gaeshi, if one wants to add a real name to an obviously made-up throw.

  47. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    August 21, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    Well, on the one hand he got his ass kicked and is running away, and I know it looks all bad for him, and that people will call him a snivelling bullying coward, but — and this is an important “but” — he’s running away as a snivelling bullying coward who still has femurs. To run away with.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 21, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

      No, he’s continuing after Amber.

      Ruth fucked up.

  48. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    August 21, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Run, man! If a THIRD girl under the age of 20 beats you up today it’s just gonna get EMBARRASSING.

  49. Valdrax
    Valdrax
    August 21, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Offtopic: Please don’t take away the registration free comment section at this site too. It’s one of the things I’ve enjoyed about DoA & SP! over many other comics — the ability to comment freely and whimsically without a gatekeeper.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      August 21, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      DoA’s not being moved out of WordPress, for one thing, so there’d be little reason to change it. Besides, it’s much harder to moderate a dang comment page with the threads moving around all willy-nilly, so I don’t think I’d allow it here anyway.

      • showler
        showler
        August 21, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

        I gotta admit, I’m confused why one of your comics is changing format dramatically and not the other. Does it have something to do with Shortpacked doubling as your toy blog?

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          August 21, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

          For reasons related to 9-week-buffer-maintenance, nothing but ComicPress will really do for DoA. Shortpacked!, though, I upload the day of or before, so that’s not really a thing. And so I let Hiveworks do what they want with it. DoA’s my bread an’ butter anyhow.

          • fogel
            fogel
            August 21, 2013 at 10:10 am | #

            9-week buffer is mind-blowing. I think that counts as a superpower. Or did you soul to the devil?

          • Hotsauce
            Hotsauce
            August 21, 2013 at 12:34 pm | #

            That is so weird to hear, because in my head this is still somehow the side project you just started. Time passes way too fast when you get older.

  50. Emoroffle
    Emoroffle
    August 21, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Poor kid. He doesn’t know you can’t get lesbian pregnat until you have lesbian sex.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      August 21, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

      Be fair, he doesn’t -know- they haven’t had lesbian sex yet.

      That’s when their boobs touch, right?

      • Emoroffle
        Emoroffle
        August 21, 2013 at 3:16 am | #

        That’s just phase one lesbian sex. You can’t get pregnant until phase five at least.

        • davidbreslin101
          davidbreslin101
          August 21, 2013 at 8:47 am | #

          It’s the strap-ons, isn’t it? Damn, those things are full of masculine potency.

          • fogel
            fogel
            August 21, 2013 at 10:12 am | #

            I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Howard doesn’t know much about any kind of sex ….

            • The Candyman
              The Candyman
              August 21, 2013 at 10:46 am | #

              Except the one handed variety, anyway.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 21, 2013 at 4:29 pm | #

            I’m pretty sure that’s stage three.

            • Emoroffle
              Emoroffle
              August 21, 2013 at 9:04 pm | #

              Hmm seems Texas sex ed has failed me again. Now you’re gonna tell me lesbianism isn’t caused by rock music.

              • John
                John
                August 21, 2013 at 9:54 pm | #

                It’s caused by Billie.

                • The Candyman
                  The Candyman
                  August 21, 2013 at 10:07 pm | #

                  And Ruth. And Sal. And Leslie. And Amber. Damn, IU is a friggin’ lesbian conversion camp.

  51. Abel Garza
    Abel Garza
    August 21, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

    Did anyone else notice howard and blain have a unique recemblence?… nothing says family like remembering wresteling manuvers…. blain could be hurt or could have sum 1+frumph+pesonality and hair he could have recognized Ruth.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      August 21, 2013 at 2:10 am | #

      I noticed as soon as Blaine showed up (the resemblance wasn’t really there in Shortpacked), but I didn’t mention it because Howard gets enough crap as it is.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 21, 2013 at 10:47 am | #

        Blaine is everyone’s dad. Even yours. You can scream now.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          August 21, 2013 at 2:39 pm | #

          Now THAT would be an unpleasant plot twist.

          Goddammit, Blaine. Stop being an asshole.

  52. Nico
    Nico
    August 21, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

    To be honest, I hated Ruth. She was cruel and angry. But seeing her in these last few storylines, I am definitely starting to get why everyone loves her.

  53. quietlythundering
    quietlythundering
    August 21, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

    Ruth Rocks!
    Also, they’re dead in your original universe?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 21, 2013 at 3:00 pm | #

      Ruth’s been dead for over a decade. Long story, heavily involves Danny, largely at his most dickishness. Bring Back Roomies hasn’t gotten to it yet, but it has alluded to it. You could get to it from the old website, but it’s a pain in the ass to navigate. Suffice to say her death was a major plot point in the Walkyverse that went on to be referenced for years after, and is probably one of its defining moments. (Also, the storyline that immediately followed was the real start to the lead-in for It’s Walky, so there is that as well.)

      Blaine, on the other hand, died last year after having a heart attack. That arc was probably at or near the climax of Amber’s character arc, but since he only made about three on-screen appearances in the comic, one of them in flashback and one as a corpse, and the other two hadn’t been for years, his death was largely met with a resounding “Yeah, fuck that guy.” Mike wore a party hat and Hawaiian shirt to the funeral and brought one of those little paper party blower things, and no one whatsoever had a problem with this. He was an asshole and we’re all glad he’s dead, and the only good thing about him showing up again here is that he’s finally getting some much-deserved trans-universal comeuppance.

  54. Tomas
    Tomas
    August 21, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

    Whoa, she’s so sick one of her eyes reverted back to a black dot.

  55. Spack
    Spack
    August 21, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

    And Blaine still has his femurs… for now.

  56. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    August 21, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    Blain just got tossed by a sick girl, so he runs like the coward he is. How much longer does he stay alive in this universe?

    • Delano
      Delano
      August 21, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

      I just thought about that, that maybe amber is actually leading him to a dark alley in which she can properly dole out the vigilante justice i know and love 😀

      • Avenger_Reloaded
        Avenger_Reloaded
        August 21, 2013 at 12:26 pm | #

        Personally I’d like to see him raging obsenities at Amber and while he’s crossing the street, and get hit in the face, with Walky’s truck, that drops a nickel…

  57. Bran
    Bran
    August 21, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

    Wait. Ruth is…sick? She clearly is expressing feelings of sickness. Did she hit her head and get a concussion?

    Because that would be, like, bad.

    Is she drunk? She seemed awfully composed until she slammed herself onto the ground. She didn’t seem to have definitively hit her head, although it IS possible…

    Whether she is drinking again or has a concussion, things are not looking good here.

    Also Blaine is getting away. And that is super not a good thing.

    • showler
      showler
      August 21, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

      This is still the same day where Billie came to Ruth’s room and Ruth was complaining of withdrawal symptoms.

      Also, she maybe shouldn’t have taken Howard’s cookie.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 21, 2013 at 10:49 am | #

        Howard drugs his cookies? Holy crap.

      • iggy_rock
        iggy_rock
        August 21, 2013 at 12:13 pm | #

        Oh yeah I forgot about that. Whew! I was worried that Willis was gonna go all Batiuk on us and give Ruth cancer cancer.

      • Bran
        Bran
        August 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm | #

        OH. Sometimes I forget that days in this comic are weeks and weeks long.

  58. Jeaney
    Jeaney
    August 21, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

    The look on Blaine’s face is the look of a man who has realized: this is the moment he loses control of his life.

  59. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    August 21, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    His face in panel four cracks me up.

    He’s all ‘The hell just happened?’

  60. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    August 21, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

    And it’s Ruth off the turnbuckle with her signature move, the Ginger Poutine-maker!

  61. Tristan B.
    Tristan B.
    August 21, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

    Amazigirl comet.

    • Tristan B.
      Tristan B.
      August 21, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

      I meant, the amazigirl cometh.

      • Kennerly
        Kennerly
        August 21, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

        The vomit comet heralds the Amazigirl cometh.

  62. Mal
    Mal
    August 21, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

    I read the alt text, and thought, “Willis sure is getting lax on Rule 3.” 🙂 I don’t mind, though. I wanted to point that out, because I thought it was funny, but I also didn’t want to be an ass about it.

  63. so279
    so279
    August 21, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

    When I see the panel where Blaine is running away, my mind can’t help but think that he’s actually just standing there dancing for some reason while Bille fetches the papers.

  64. Andy
    Andy
    August 21, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    Say what you want about Blaine, you gotta admit his ability to get up after taking a hit is impressive. I hope he gets to practice it often.

  65. Madness2.4
    Madness2.4
    August 21, 2013 at 1:48 am | #

    These last few strips have been the greatest thing i have ever read.

  66. rachel
    rachel
    August 21, 2013 at 1:51 am | #

    I should have stopped at “spoiler alert” but I didn’t, I have none to blame but myself, but AHHHHH REALLYYY??? AHHHHH

    I mean I knew about blaine cos SP! but ruuuuuth toooo????

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      August 21, 2013 at 2:12 am | #

      “Act with integrity. No regrets.” 🙁

  67. Deemah
    Deemah
    August 21, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

    Can someone knock that dude the hell out. First he tries to beat his daughter and then comes at Ruth? Jesus can he have his come up soon

  68. OhNoUDiNt
    OhNoUDiNt
    August 21, 2013 at 2:04 am | #

    So much focus on the toss by Ruth. I am shocked, shocked I say to not see more posting about the “lesbian pregnant” comment by her brother.

    • Lawzlo
      Lawzlo
      August 21, 2013 at 3:08 am | #

      I do hope that our Billie makes an honest woman Ruth.

      (Does a quick google search; apparently you can be arrested for gay marriage in Indiana.)

      Well, hell.

  69. Vince
    Vince
    August 21, 2013 at 2:27 am | #

    …is NO ONE worried about Dina being trapped with Faz?

    • The Pink Ninja
      The Pink Ninja
      August 21, 2013 at 4:13 am | #

      She’s not trapped in there with him, HE’S TRAPPED IN THERE WITH HER!

      • Narf
        Narf
        August 22, 2013 at 8:21 am | #

        -10 for quoting Dominic Deegan, lol. 😛

    • Captain Jack
      Captain Jack
      August 21, 2013 at 5:55 am | #

      She’s got her parents with her and if he tried anything, she’d probably do something quite painful to him involving her teeth.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 21, 2013 at 10:50 am | #

        And he would enjoy it.

  70. nalem
    nalem
    August 21, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

    I GOTTA ADMIT

    I WAS KIND OF THINKIN’ IT lol 😀

  71. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    August 21, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

    What, exactly, does Blaine think (I know, I know, assuming facts not in evidence) he’s going to do, running after Amber? She’s evidently already well through that door at the far end of the hall, and there’s an entire campus for her to not be found by Blaine in. There’s essentially no chance of him catching up to her if she doesn’t want him to.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 21, 2013 at 9:26 am | #

      In order for him to realise that he’d have to acknowledge that he can’t control her.

  72. Hythrain
    Hythrain
    August 21, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

    I don’t know what’s more surprising: that Ruth picked up a guy who was significantly taller than her and, chances are, weighed significantly more than Billie does (And also threw him over his head, even if she fell in the process), that Blaine came crashing down on the ground INCREDIBLY hard and yet managed to get back up and run immediately, or that Howard is really THAT dumb to call something “lesbian pregnant?”

    • zoabeast
      zoabeast
      August 21, 2013 at 3:52 am | #

      Well since he charged/rushed her. im thinking momentum played a not insignificant part in this.

      • David Willis
        David M Willis
        August 21, 2013 at 4:08 am | #

        Yeah, Blaine was already supplying most of the velocity, Ruth just redirected it a smidge.

        • Hotsauce
          Hotsauce
          August 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm | #

          In my head, she did tomoe-nage, or as I call it, the Jim Kirk maneuver (link my name)

      • Hythrain
        Hythrain
        August 21, 2013 at 3:23 pm | #

        Yea, I figured that was the case. But his momentum helps with moving him over, not the actual act of lifting him over her head. That still requires a lot of physical strength, which is why I’m surprised and impressed. Though his body spins in the air too, so that also helps.

  73. Michael
    Michael
    August 21, 2013 at 3:09 am | #

    Dat Ruth, counter spamming. Blaine ragequitted.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 21, 2013 at 3:30 am | #

      His own fault for telegraphing his moves…

  74. GrrArg42
    GrrArg42
    August 21, 2013 at 3:39 am | #

    RE Mouse-over text: “Over my dead body”

  75. zoabeast
    zoabeast
    August 21, 2013 at 3:50 am | #

    Theres always the baseball bat 😉

  76. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    August 21, 2013 at 4:11 am | #

    Ruth uses Canadian Politeness!
    …it’s not terribly effective ó_ò

    Well, I sure hope this is only due to alcohol withdrawal: I don’t want to think what a move like that could do to your hip or your vertebrae if you botch it.

    And in the meantime, Blaine is running away like a little bongo! MWAHAHAHAHA! XD

  77. Peruhain
    Peruhain
    August 21, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

    OK, looking at panel 1 again, maybe Ruth actually had her foot up in his abdomen and did a tomoe nage throw on him. In which case it’s actually pretty realistic that she could use his momentum against him and that he would land just about like that. Surprised he didn’t at least get the wind knocked out of him, though. So Ruth is like a judo black belt on top of her other accomplishments?

    • Narf
      Narf
      August 22, 2013 at 8:23 am | #

      That wasn’t apparent when she tossed Billie across the room like she was a matchbook? 😛

  78. rachel
    rachel
    August 21, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

    omg is that his eyebrow way up there in the second to last panel?? YES

  79. nathan
    nathan
    August 21, 2013 at 4:43 am | #

    god please let her vomit on his shoes to boot

  80. David
    David
    August 21, 2013 at 4:48 am | #

    Out in the real world, every fight is between people who are going to end up dead eventually. Not all that remarkable.

    In the mean time, here’s to hoping for discontinuity between the continuities.

    • Somebody
      Somebody
      August 21, 2013 at 5:08 pm | #

      Not really. Some people only fight when it’s necessary. That probably isn’t the kind of fight you meant though.

      • Klaital
        Klaital
        August 21, 2013 at 7:52 pm | #

        Pretty sure every participant in every fight ever will end up dead sometime after the start of the fight.

        Might not be during the fight, though.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          August 21, 2013 at 11:02 pm | #

          I just have to note, since somebody mentioned Pankration yesterday, that, depending on the rules, it’s entirely possible to die during the fight, and still win.

  81. newllend
    newllend
    August 21, 2013 at 5:27 am | #

    Owned, he should realy quit wile he’s ahead

    • Crimson Doom
      Crimson Doom
      August 21, 2013 at 10:17 am | #

      That implies that Blaine was ever ahead.

  82. Gargamel
    Gargamel
    August 21, 2013 at 6:05 am | #

    Huh saw the first panel and actually thought Ruth was going to break Blane’s spine on her knee, wrestling style, for a second. 🙂
    Although this solution makes sense too.

  83. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    August 21, 2013 at 6:09 am | #

    Wait, that’s it? Aww, I was hoping for something a bit cooler, like maybe punching him in the face, or maybe kicking him in the groin, or something. Still, that was a pretty great feat for someone suffering from withdrawal symptoms from alcohol.

    • showler
      showler
      August 21, 2013 at 11:51 am | #

      It is a bit disappointing that Ruth failed in her offer to add more blood to his face.

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        August 21, 2013 at 5:01 pm | #

        Hey, there’s always time for her to catch up to him, isn’t there?

  84. narmenduke
    narmenduke
    August 21, 2013 at 6:47 am | #

    “Howard, go into my room. Under my bed, you will see a bundle of sharpened human bones. These are my Femur Spears, fashioned from the remains of…problem residents. Bring them out to me, and then avert your eyes and plug your ears. There are certain acts of violence in this world that you are not capable of processing, lest you go mad from the revelation.”

  85. Jabro
    Jabro
    August 21, 2013 at 7:13 am | #

    You know, Mike hasn’t punched any face recently…

    • narmenduke
      narmenduke
      August 21, 2013 at 12:27 pm | #

      You make an excellent observation, sir/ma’am.

  86. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    August 21, 2013 at 7:19 am | #

    GAZE INTO THE FLOOR OF RUTH!

  87. Super Duper
    Super Duper
    August 21, 2013 at 7:26 am | #

    Howard instantly is now more likeable than Amber’s sperm supplier (I refuse to call him a “Dad”).

    • xain
      xain
      August 21, 2013 at 7:41 am | #

      honestly its a lot harder to name a character that is less likable then blaine

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 21, 2013 at 9:24 am | #

        Ryan maybe?

        • WiredWolf
          WiredWolf
          August 21, 2013 at 11:17 am | #

          We use “Chad” for those guys…

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            August 21, 2013 at 12:04 pm | #

            I thought it was Chet?

      • Super Duper
        Super Duper
        August 21, 2013 at 7:07 pm | #

        Faz? He’s like Blaine, but subtle and pervy.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      August 21, 2013 at 9:25 am | #

      Yeah, it’s all a matter of context.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 21, 2013 at 3:03 pm | #

      I’ve heard the term “ex-father” used before, that might be appropriate.

  88. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    August 21, 2013 at 8:05 am | #

    Friggin’ WHOA. Blaine’s so impressed (taken aback? Having new information pounded into his beast head?) that one of his eyebrows flew right off.

  89. Toes14
    Toes14
    August 21, 2013 at 10:34 am | #

    Is Blaine going after Amber, or just running away? It’s hard for me to decide, as the look on his face in panel 4 is more of surprise, not anger. Then again, in panel 5 it looks like he’s running with his fists balled up, so maybe he is still going after her.

    • Lamachine
      Lamachine
      August 21, 2013 at 11:11 am | #

      Yeah, I like to think he’s doing that “I’ll get my revenge’ fist-in-the-air thing villains tend to do.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        August 21, 2013 at 8:31 pm | #

        I had my mouse in a position to read that as “fish-in-the-air” …

  90. Victor Riley
    Victor Riley
    August 21, 2013 at 10:40 am | #

    Impressive suplex… especially if she completely avoids her brother who is standing almost directly behind her. That’s some WWF-skills right there.

  91. Lamachine
    Lamachine
    August 21, 2013 at 11:00 am | #

    That self-defense throw worked better on Billie…

  92. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    August 21, 2013 at 11:54 am | #

    Yeah, I get the feeling that being suplexed only managed to knock some of his mindless rage out of him; now he’s still pissed, but clear-headed enough to continue pursuing Amber.

    Hope I’m wrong here and that he’s actually just fleeing like the coward he is.

  93. slicedtoad
    slicedtoad
    August 21, 2013 at 12:05 pm | #

    test comment to see how off sync server time is

    • slicedtoad
      slicedtoad
      August 21, 2013 at 12:07 pm | #

      …Why can’t I see the new comic yet?

      • slicedtoad
        slicedtoad
        August 21, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

        And nvm, I’m being stupid and flipping my am and pm. Being in Australia makes things confusing.

  94. drs
    drs
    August 21, 2013 at 12:22 pm | #

    David: these multi-hundred comment threads are making it difficult (slow) to actually re-read the comic. Be nice if there were a way to separate comic view and comments view.

    • chisci
      chisci
      August 21, 2013 at 1:47 pm | #

      once you catch up you actually have to press the comment button to read the comments so there’s that

  95. bernerbrau
    bernerbrau
    August 21, 2013 at 1:07 pm | #

    Abusive dads? Manipulative conservative parents? This comic is getting a little too real for comfort.

  96. lilith
    lilith
    August 21, 2013 at 2:04 pm | #

    Blaine got an surprise of an life time. That’s not his day. (does a little happy dance)

    Also, random button is back in Shortpacked. Yay! Thank you!

  97. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    August 21, 2013 at 2:29 pm | #

    Re: the Alt Text. Ruth only feels like death right now.

  98. Shaiyna
    Shaiyna
    August 21, 2013 at 3:14 pm | #

    Holy snickies!!! She flip punched the shit out of him…

    • lilith
      lilith
      August 21, 2013 at 3:36 pm | #

      Oh, that’s why he runs so odd way.

  99. Genera
    Genera
    August 21, 2013 at 4:36 pm | #

    Dumbing of Age is the only Willis comic I’ve read, but reading over the comments section over the last couple of strips, I am almost tempted to dive into the others. (Stay at home mom, autistic 4 year old – what is this spare time others speak of?)

    I do wonder if the Great Blain Beating of 2013 ends with Sarah standing over his with a baseball bat though. I mean, is every girl in the strip going to get a chance to take a whack at him? Cause that would be lovely.

    ~GQGZ

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 21, 2013 at 11:05 pm | #

      My name is Rex Hondo, and I approve of this message.

  100. Somebody
    Somebody
    August 21, 2013 at 5:03 pm | #

    He knew her parents, didn’t he? That expression says “I know you…but that’s impossible”.

    • Alexis
      Alexis
      August 21, 2013 at 6:02 pm | #

      Looks more like, “Oh shit this small girl flipped me over whaaaaaaaaaaa”

  101. RobHagen
    RobHagen
    August 21, 2013 at 6:08 pm | #

    *hopes Blaine gets hit by a door*

    *goes back to his dive in Questionable Content*

  102. Damned
    Damned
    August 21, 2013 at 6:15 pm | #

    AND THIS IS THE COMIC ON WHICH MY ARCHIVE BINGE ENDS. OF COURSE.

  103. Baker
    Baker
    August 21, 2013 at 6:52 pm | #

    I hate saying this, but I really don’t think this is going to go well in court if he gets away. Especially if he never catches up to Amber, which it might well be that he is just running at this point. I hate the guy, and he deserved being punched for sure, but I still think that since he didn’t physically threaten Amber that might even be her at fault for that part. Aggravated assault committed by Amber. He said terrible things, but he wasn’t trying to hit her yet. Then after that she ran when he threatened, he chased but I’m not sure it’s illegal to chase someone who just clocked you in the face. We all know he would have hurt her if he caught her but he can easily lie about his reasons for going after her.. I definitely think he would lie in court and probably so would Faz and Dina no matter how much I love her is probably one of the worst people you could have on your side recounting events in court. Her parents haven’t shown themselves to even talk at all, and again if Amber was technically in the wrong anyway as far as the law is concerned I don’t think it’s going to end well.

    This mess with Ruth is different, but once again Blaine didn’t actually harm Ruth. He broke free of people holding him back from chasing after his daughter, and if he lied about how he “fell forward” after doing so I’m not sure anyone could prove he was trying to hurt Ruth. His hands were not balled up in fists so he never made as if to strike her. Again we all know he is an evil bastard, but what happened physically is ambiguous and caused no harm to Ruth. If Blaine’s defense is some kind of sob story about how he just wanted to make amends with his estranged daughter or some such bs, I could see this all turning out very differently than we all would want.

    Everyone seems to forget who the writer is sometimes, not to mention his twitter moniker.

    • ThyHoopyFrood
      ThyHoopyFrood
      August 21, 2013 at 7:03 pm | #

      I’ve been worried about something similar.

    • Klaital
      Klaital
      August 21, 2013 at 7:59 pm | #

      The key there would likely be his previous record. If he’s got domestic abuse priors, even if not convicted, things will look very bad for him in a courtroom. Extra bad if he’s not on the “approved list” when Billie gets back with it.

    • JQuire
      JQuire
      August 21, 2013 at 9:14 pm | #

      Allow me to disagree.

      Re: Amber v. Blaine – There was nothing ‘aggravated’ about Amber’s assault/battery of Blaine. Aggravating factors tend to be things like …using a brick instead of your fist, or if that punch broke his jaw causing injury classed as ‘serious bodily harm’. And Amber has a plausible self-defense plea – especially if there’s no duty to retreat in the DoA world. Blaine’s looming over Amber, attempting to intimidate her, yelling in her face, has a history of family violence and has already refused to back down when asked. And I can’t keep track of the way the dorm is set up, but he may be between her and the door? He didn’t verbally threaten Amber with violence, but it would be absolutely reasonable (and therefore acquit-able) for Amber to feel that her actions were necessary and in self-defense.

      Let’s not even get into all the weird and exciting possible permutations of the effect of the castle rule.

      What’s more, putting someone in reasonable apprehension that you’re going to touch them is assault in and of itself (battery is the part where you actually touch someone, but the two offenses are often just lumped together these days). So there’s the argument to be made that Blaine is also guilty of assaulting Amber.

      Re: The chase! – What Blaine is doing is escalating the situation. And there are a metric tonne of witnesses to say that Blaine was piiiissed, violent, and hell-bent on catching up with Amber. He can say what he wants about his motivations, but that doesn’t mean he can convince a judge/jury that he’s telling the truth. He doesn’t clearly have a defense here, and

      Re: Ruth – Ruth was definitely assaulted by Blaine. Yeah, he could argue he tripped. But that lunge is a pretty unmistakable act of aggression from where I – and probably the rest of the hallway – are standing. 2nd to last panel Blaine is leaning back, the next he’s hurtling towards Ruth. He just doesn’t have the evidence to back that kind of claim. Anyway, you don’t even have to touch someone to assault them, let alone harm them.

      The long and the short of it is….Blaine has committed at least one assault. He’s only making things worse for everyone by pursuing Amber. Amber also committed assault, but she’s got a good shot at being let off if the thing ever gets to court. Amber should get herself a Protective Order, then she won’t have to deal with this bs for at least a year.

      • Narf
        Narf
        August 22, 2013 at 8:32 am | #

        Thanks for writing out all the things I wanted to say, and some more things I didn’t even know I wanted to say. My initial, knee-jerk reaction to the commentor stating that Amber wouldn’t fare well in court was basically “What judge and what jury in what part of complete-and-utter-shitheadistan would convict an 18-year-old woman of aggravated assault for punching her threatening, abusive father who – remember – was trespassing?“

  104. LtSaraD
    LtSaraD
    August 21, 2013 at 8:02 pm | #

    bongoes here can fight!!!

  105. Dave Strider
    Dave Strider
    August 21, 2013 at 8:49 pm | #

    SUPLEX

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      August 22, 2013 at 7:22 am | #

      Pretty Weak Suplex tho…Blaine just gets up like it was nothing!

      Now if only it was a Sabin Suplex….

  106. Najaru
    Najaru
    August 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm | #

    Anyone else curious as to what happened to Faz?

    • Josh
      Josh
      August 22, 2013 at 4:40 pm | #

      He’s digging it, if you know what I mean.

  107. Kyle
    Kyle
    August 22, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

    is that the opposite of corpse party

  108. CC
    CC
    August 22, 2013 at 8:08 am | #

    This is gonna be a pain when it comes to the paperwork. Someone has to go write up the injury book, there’ll probably be a use of force form to fill out. I assume the university has a standing order to always press charges when it’s staff are assaulted so there’s that to do….

  109. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    February 2, 2014 at 11:35 pm | #

    Clearly someone forgot to tell Ruth that you can get lesbian pregnant, just ask Leslie and Robin.

  110. nothri
    nothri
    March 29, 2014 at 7:20 pm | #

    Well, Howard is right about one thing. This situation is totally babies.

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
Dorothy!
dorothy in a dark purple collared shirt and her usual black vest, with cuffed pants
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
i want to change the caption's image to a photo of a mountain of ET cartridges in a landfill
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
www.ebay.com/itm/23609624... Three hours left on this murder machine
header image - Transformers MPM-4 Movie Optimus Prime, boxed/complete but with extra hooks! | eBay
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Transformers MPM-4 Movie Optimus Prime, boxed/complete but with extra hooks! | eBay
He's been opened, stood on a shelf for a while, and placed back inside.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
mary: dawn says your girlfriend is trying to murder her wilbur: but what about MY happiness okay can we kill wilbur now
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
help I had a big yawny stretch after I got into bed and threw out my back
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
Dumbing of Age: "Dotty" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Dotty
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Brandy Jensen @brandyjensen.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
fuck off
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
Phew, they made NoHo Hank wear pants.
A McFarlane Toys action figure of Metamorpho, from James Gunn's Superman movie.  He's wearing pants.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
where's my hour loop of Vader fist-dancing
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
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Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 1d
hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
the cover of FF #1 featuring some beautiful art of said Fantastic Four
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 2d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 2d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
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Up, continued
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The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 2d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
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You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
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Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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