Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 1, 2026

Vicariously

by David M Willis on September 3, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Just Hangin' Out With My Family
└ Tags: ethan, naomi, saul

Discussion (261) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. utahrapter3
    utahrapter3
    September 3, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    So his parents don’t know he is gay yet? How will they react?

    • piemanpie24
      piemanpie24
      September 3, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      They know he’s gay.

      • utahrapter3
        utahrapter3
        September 3, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        Thanks for responding, I’m new to the David Willis comics and I only read DoA and some of Shortpacked.

        • Toad
          Toad
          September 3, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

          They don’t know he’s decided to be not-gay yet.

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            September 3, 2013 at 4:37 pm | #

            Well, he’s just told them hasn’t he.

        • Heatth
          Heatth
          September 3, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

          No other David Willis comics is placed in the same continuity as DoA, so having read them is not relevant here. Piemanpie24 knows Ethan’s parents knows he is gay because this was made explicit in-comic. I don’t remember when exactly, though.

          • demonichate
            demonichate
            September 3, 2013 at 8:39 am | #

            god, i stop reading for a week and i forget their names, but it’s amazi-girls alter ego that tells you. the whole thing about having to help him with his family when he came out to them.

            • Starscreamer
              Starscreamer
              September 3, 2013 at 7:09 pm | #

              Sal knew Ethan before college?!!!

              • djaevlenselv
                djaevlenselv
                September 4, 2013 at 6:20 pm | #

                I think we were explicitly told to cut that out 😉
                Seems Willis is getting tired of certain antics.

            • Kilo
              Kilo
              August 2, 2015 at 11:37 pm | #

              Which of Amazi-Girl’s alter egos? Pretty sure there are like five of her.

          • Ocbrad1
            Ocbrad1
            September 3, 2013 at 9:14 am | #

            I forget which strip it was, but it was Ethan and Joyce’s date at Galasso’s, when Amber confronted Ethan. He referred to how difficult things became when he came out in high school. Presumably that includes the parents.

            • Gneiss
              Gneiss
              September 3, 2013 at 9:21 am | #

              There’s better evidence more recently (like 30 strips ago) where Ethan’s mom accuses Amber of being so bad at dating that she turned her son gay.

              • Arkadi
                Arkadi
                September 3, 2013 at 4:40 pm | #

                No -she “made him think he’s gay”. Ethan’s mum refuses to accept that her son *is* gay; he’s merely confused and stuff. And it’s all Amber’s fault. Flawless motherly reasoning.

                • xKiv
                  xKiv
                  September 3, 2013 at 6:07 pm | #

                  At least that’s what she tells Amber.

        • OmegaDez
          OmegaDez
          September 3, 2013 at 11:23 am | #

          Yeah, but it’s already been mentioned they know in the Dumbing of Age universe. 🙂

        • Squall
          Squall
          September 3, 2013 at 2:19 pm | #

          Waitwaitwaitwait. You’re new here and you got top comment? you are amazing.

          • Thor
            Thor
            September 3, 2013 at 4:06 pm | #

            Getting “top comment” is a thing? What? Is this 1996 again?

            • das-g
              das-g
              September 3, 2013 at 5:13 pm | #

              Gallaso brought the 90ies back, too.

              • Rex Hondo
                Rex Hondo
                September 3, 2013 at 11:27 pm | #

                It’s not as obvious as when he brought the 80’s back, since none of the 90’s presidents are dead yet for him to resurrect.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      September 3, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      Oh I think they know. It’s probably why they’re giving him a hard time now.

    • AngryBamboo
      AngryBamboo
      September 3, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      they talked to amber a couple weeks ago our time and told her they blamed her for “making” ethan gay and amber has alluded that some of what inspired her to become amazigirl had to do with helping ethan with the fallout of coming out.

    • Lone Wolf
      Lone Wolf
      September 3, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s not so much that they don’t know he’s gay as it is that they don’t want to accept that he’s gay.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      September 3, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Considering how much shit she gave Amber for “turning their son gay”…

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        September 3, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        No, I’m pretty sure they blame him for “making him think” he’s gay.

        They don’t believe the fact that he is indeed gay.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          *Looks back at the archives* That’s right…

          …and actually, somehow, quite a bit worse.

          • Totz the Plaid
            Totz the Plaid
            September 3, 2013 at 5:14 am | #

            Definitely worse. At least as far as Naomi goes. Saul… well, we don’t know what he thinks.

            • Squall
              Squall
              September 3, 2013 at 2:20 pm | #

              He’s a cardboard cutout of Batman’s father.

              • Opus the Poet
                Opus the Poet
                September 3, 2013 at 6:30 pm | #

                And you just made him worse than the least-effective father in all of comics…

            • Arkadi
              Arkadi
              September 3, 2013 at 4:43 pm | #

              He probably has what my dad calls “an in-built spring”: it’s in his neck, and makes him automatically nod in agreement at anything his wife said.

        • Jon P
          Jon P
          September 3, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          I assume you mean “blame *her”, and if so, yeah. If you click back on either Naomi or Saul’s tag, the only other time they’ve appeared was walking into the dorm and meeting Amber whereupon Naomi had an icy conversation with her, blaming her for being “so bad at dating” that Ethan “thought” he was gay.

          • utahrapter3
            utahrapter3
            September 3, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

            -sigh- Good luck Ethan

          • Totz the Plaid
            Totz the Plaid
            September 3, 2013 at 5:14 am | #

            Yes, I did mean “her” as in Amber. I don’t know how I managed to type exactly the wrong word. *shrugs*

        • James
          James
          September 3, 2013 at 4:58 am | #

          Dispite Word of God?

      • Cheryl
        Cheryl
        September 3, 2013 at 3:05 am | #

        There is somthing sexy about your gravatar….cant put my finger on it though….

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 11:28 pm | #

          It’s the beard. Chicks dig the beard. 😉

  2. Maki
    Maki
    September 3, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Everyone is literally doing it.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      That’s what college is for.

      • AngryBamboo
        AngryBamboo
        September 3, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        there’s a time and a place for everything and it’s called college.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          September 3, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

          My best friend’s motto was: “Do things in college that will make you cringe as an adult.” When else??

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            September 3, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

            I know I did!

            Heheh…ramen beer.

            • saltchocolate
              saltchocolate
              September 3, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

              Heh!

            • Cringe-worthy
              Cringe-worthy
              September 3, 2013 at 7:43 am | #

              vodka fruit loops.

              For the record, vodka does not make a passable milk substitute, no matter what you have been told!

              • taekwondogirl
                taekwondogirl
                September 3, 2013 at 2:14 pm | #

                However, it does mix well with Dr. Pepper!

              • Rex Hondo
                Rex Hondo
                September 3, 2013 at 11:29 pm | #

                White Russians, on the other hand…

            • The_Master
              The_Master
              September 3, 2013 at 10:30 am | #

              How did you make that?

              • Doctor_Who
                Doctor_Who
                September 3, 2013 at 5:41 pm | #

                It’s just exactly what it sounds like. Ramen soup made with beer instead of water.

                I’d claim the alcohol helps, but in hindsight it probably mostly got cooked away, so I really have only myself to blame.

            • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
              Thanks, I'll Have Another!
              September 3, 2013 at 1:37 pm | #

              :O

              Tell us the secret of Ramen beer, Herr Doktor!

          • SaltPeter
            SaltPeter
            September 3, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

            SaltChocolate, sounds like your parents haven’t done the ol’ “drag your baby pictures out to show your date” thing recently.

          • Buckybone
            Buckybone
            September 3, 2013 at 11:45 am | #

            The only problem with that is we have Facebook now. The Internet Is Forever.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      September 3, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Including in their offices!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        September 3, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        And the broom closet….which begs the question what about the broom closet that people wanted to make out in them?

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          September 3, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          It’s so clean they wanted to make it dirty.

          • Curacaobill
            Curacaobill
            September 3, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

            This explains SO MUCH.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          September 3, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

          Probably because if they time it right and the janitor’s elsewhere, nobody will walk in on them.

          Also, the chemicals might get them high while they make out/screw.

        • Historyman68
          Historyman68
          September 3, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

          They wanted to “sweep together.”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Especially on top of the photo-copiers. 😀

  3. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    September 3, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Just keep diggin’ yourself deeper there, Ethan…

  4. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 3, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Did Ethan just read the past few strips? He’s just like Black Hole from Kinnikuman.

  5. AngryBamboo
    AngryBamboo
    September 3, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    okay, Blaine almost doesn’t count because i can’t imagine how you could be a worse parent than him, so in that context, naomi is my least favorite of all the parents.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      September 3, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      Also, Saul doesn’t count, since Naomi’s obviously just driving him around like Spock in “Spock’s Brain.”

  6. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    September 3, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Ethan, don’t wear horizontal stripes.

    • LiamAldam
      LiamAldam
      September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Panel 3 makes him look like a mime.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 3, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

        He’s trapped in an invisible closet!

        • Paul
          Paul
          September 3, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

          Shh shh, quiet, hurry up and get in the closet…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          September 3, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          Doctor Who: Best comment I seen today.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        September 3, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        Professions where breaking into song is discouraged.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

          Great, now I’m picturing Ethan as Prince Herbert from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          September 3, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

          To quote the great Colin Mochrie:

          “I’m a MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!”

      • Chronos
        Chronos
        September 3, 2013 at 8:36 am | #

        I think we need a picture of Mime Ethan.

        • LiamAldam
          LiamAldam
          September 3, 2013 at 1:28 pm | #

          See Panel 3 but imagine his hair is a giant beret.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 3, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Well, he is a prisoner albeit a figurative one.

  7. eyss
    eyss
    September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    his mom has the worst hairstyle just throwing it out there

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 3, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      She couldn’t make the fro work for her, I guess.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 3, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        The ‘fro is weak with this one.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          September 3, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

          I see what you’re doing there, Plasma.

  8. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Wait, Saul speaks?

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      September 3, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s actually his mustache that’s talking.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        September 3, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        So, Saul is dead but his mustache is controlling his dead body, then?

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          I’m sure being married to that woman has left him dead inside. Does that count?

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            September 3, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

            Yes…and a moment of silence for Saul.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        September 3, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

        Imagine if Saul’s mustache and Sal’s hair could get together, we’d have the beginning of a race of sentient hair.

        I ship it.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          September 3, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

          You know what? I’d ship it too..at least it’s not Faz.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 4:39 am | #

          Doctor Bone’s (That’s what I call Joe’s dad, now) beard might give the ‘stache a run for its money.

          • Ocbrad1
            Ocbrad1
            September 3, 2013 at 9:18 am | #

            But imagine the master follicle race such a ménage a 3 (see what I did there) could begat!

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      September 3, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Awww…I was hoping that he would be given little talking chances..,

      And all he would ever say is “Yes Dear” or “No Dear”

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        September 3, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

        “So.”

        That’s not much dialogue, Keroshino… I’m fine with Saul just having short monosyllabic lines here and there.

  9. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ethan’s “my head is being slowly devoured by a black melon” haircut is actually really noticeable here.

    • Rachel
      Rachel
      September 3, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      And this is even post-haircut!

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        September 3, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        I never saw any change in his hairstyle anyway.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          September 3, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

          The new one is angled, that slope from the top to the back. The old one was perfectly round, like a melon.

  10. John
    John
    September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Why is Ethan wearing an old-school prisoner outfit? Is it some kind of social commentary?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 3, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

      He feels imprisoned by his parents.

      When Joyce shows up, he will spontaneously develop a ball and chain.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      September 3, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

      I don’t see a black sport coat and numbered badge with a picture of a penny farthing on it…

      Oh, wait, you meant a prison inmate, not Patrick McGoohan’s character from “The Prisoner”. Oops.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      September 3, 2013 at 6:07 pm | #

      Willis just wants to draw more stripes.

  11. Bloody_Jerk
    Bloody_Jerk
    September 3, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    They will hate you even more, when they find out the truth, Ethan. Also, wanna see what happens, when they’re parents meet.
    I need Popcorn for that shit.

  12. Geegles
    Geegles
    September 3, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan suddenly looks very old here. Not OLD old but old. I’m not sure why.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      September 3, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Shortpacked old? In that case I’m seeing it too.

      • Paul
        Paul
        September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Make it three.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 3, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Ethan’s going to go gray very early in life, isn’t he?

    • Ragnal
      Ragnal
      September 3, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      I think it’s either the shirt, or that his head looks weird in the first and last panels.

    • Nono
      Nono
      September 3, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      I think it’s the hair and the shirt combined. Plus long sleeved shirts rarely make someone look young anyway, unless they’re comically oversized.

  13. Lavaticmay
    Lavaticmay
    September 3, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan, stop breaking the fourth wall, that’s twice now, three slip up and you get them taken away.

  14. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    September 3, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Their gaydar sure is super-sensitive.

  15. Rachel
    Rachel
    September 3, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Something tells me that despite despising the idea of Ethan’s gayness, they’re not going for this!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 3, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      They have watched Dr. Phil, they know that the gay just doesn’t go away.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        September 3, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

        …or they think he’s lying to make them happy.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          September 3, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

          If so, then they’re not that far off the mark.

          • Totz the Plaid
            Totz the Plaid
            September 3, 2013 at 5:11 am | #

            Well, there is a difference between lying to them and lying to himself, and he does technically have a girlfriend.

  16. Gram91
    Gram91
    September 3, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    His mother seems very disappointed with him, while his father seems more confused how to deal with him now.

    • AngryBamboo
      AngryBamboo
      September 3, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      that isn’t a confused and concerned eyebrow, it’s a deep scar from his time in the military where he learned a lot of the unfortunate anti-gay sentiment that he and his wife express today. unfortunately he too is secretly a homosexual and will eventually throw himself at his next door neighbor kevin spacey and subsequently end his homoerotic curiosity in a tragic murder-suicide that brings a whole bunch of other tenuously connected plotlines together.

      • Paul
        Paul
        September 3, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        NO. Naomi is not, and could never be, the beautiful and exquisite Allison Janney. I will not permit this line of reasoning to continue.

        • AngryBamboo
          AngryBamboo
          September 3, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          i do love me some Allison Janney…Dayum, dat neck, girl.

        • Jon P
          Jon P
          September 3, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

          Hmmph. I had genuinely forgotten Janney was in that movie.

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            September 3, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

            What movie is this?

            • AngryBamboo
              AngryBamboo
              September 3, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

              american beauty

  17. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 3, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    This is going to be fun. And by “fun”, I mean “infuriating”.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Well, there is an F, a U and an N in “infuriating”. Besides, it’s not as infuriating as that Steak Me Amadeus…or Frost and Fire.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        September 3, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        The who-what-now?

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          September 3, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          The former is an episode of Regular Show and the latter is an episode of Adventure Time.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            September 3, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

            Are those real things?

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              September 3, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

              Yes, Steak Me Amadeus was the season 4 finale of Regular Show. Frost and Fire pits the Flame Princess against the Ice King.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                September 3, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

                Tonight was basically Closure night, though.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                September 3, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

                I thought you meant like, Amadeus Amadeus, steak me Amadeus. Oooh, Amadeus.

                • Rex Hondo
                  Rex Hondo
                  September 3, 2013 at 3:03 am | #

                  You’re thinking of “Stake me, Amadeus” from Mozart: Vampire Hunter.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  September 5, 2013 at 2:46 pm | #

                  Dammit, now I have that Buffy musical episode stuck in my head

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            September 3, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

            Wait, I think I heard of those episodes. Yeah, I can see why those would be infuriating.

  18. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    While I’m thinking of it, has Saul’s expression changed at all since he first showed up?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 3, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      When botox goes wrong, it goes oh so very wrong…

  19. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    September 3, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    I’m convinced that Ethan’s mom is some female version of Galasso and his dad is one of those “yes dear” types.

    Like, his expression so far hasn’t changed from what I perceive as worried confusion.

  20. Najaru
    Najaru
    September 3, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Ethan’s dad has all of ONE facial expression. So far, anyway.

    • Paul
      Paul
      September 3, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      With a good comb, Ethan could absolutely impersonate his father.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        September 3, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

        He would wear the comb under his nose.

        • Pebblerocker
          Pebblerocker
          September 4, 2013 at 8:03 pm | #

          SNOL!

          (I snorted out loud.)

  21. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 3, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    I got a lot of homework so I’ll keep this short.
    FUCK YOU ETHAN. FUCK. YOU.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 3, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      If Ethan had someone fuck him it might sort a few things out.

      • Varangian
        Varangian
        September 3, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        This right here is the unvarnished truth. It may even be “troof”.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      September 3, 2013 at 9:56 am | #

      Pretty much.

  22. BayoWolf
    BayoWolf
    September 3, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Hey, Saul does still have the same expression on his face. Guess I wasn’t too far off on that wish.

  23. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    September 3, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Never has Ethan wished to be Batman as much as he does right this moment.

    • AngryBamboo
      AngryBamboo
      September 3, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      so his parents could be dead?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        September 3, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        Well, that and doing that old Stealth Hi Bye thing that Batman loves to do.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        September 3, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        Bingo!

      • AngryBamboo
        AngryBamboo
        September 3, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        i’m gonna stick with dead parents, final answer, Regis.

        • AngryBamboo
          AngryBamboo
          September 3, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          because we all know batman is a standup, take him as you see him kind of guy, and would never vanish just for the sake of convenience or drama, or to make someone look foolish. that’s clearly not how batman rolls.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 3, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      So he could spend his days staring at Dick Grayson?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        September 3, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        Well, everybody in the DCU loves Dick.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 3, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        Worse, he wants to dick Grayson. 😀

  24. Varangian
    Varangian
    September 3, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

    “I have constructed a tower of lies for myself, mom and dad! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?!”

    “We’re not buying it, but we don’t actually accept that you’re gay, either. Basically you’re fucked either way.”

    “….yaaaaaaayyyyyy”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 3, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      Well, at least he’s not a country rock singer with hit albums like “Yes, I lied”, “Lies, lies and more lies” and my personal favorite “Lying like an angry woman”.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      September 3, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

      Yeah, that sounds right!

  25. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    September 3, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    A good friend of mine asked me along for support, when he came out to his family. His dad calmly walked into the next room and put his fist thru the wall. Then he came back in to the room and said, ‘you are my son and I love you and we will never speak of this again.’
    His parents never changed their attitude toward him, treated him same as always. They simply would not discuss “it”. Ten years later he brought his signifigent other home to meet his parents, making it very plain they were more than roommates, without ever saying ‘it’ out loud.

    His parents were fine with it and treated them both as if they were a married couple. As long as they never said ‘it’ out loud.

    Odd, but it worked for them.

    On the other hand, a female friend of mine came out to her parents at 13 and they accepted her choice fine and were very supportive.

    No family is the same. Nothing Ethan does is going to be ‘fine’ with his mother, ever. She will die trying to assign ‘blame’ to somebody, anybody for what Ethan is. His Dad will accept it, looks like he has anyway, he’s puzzled by it, but accepting it.
    I think maybe Ethan’s problem is that he hasn’t, not really. It would be good for him if he just say “I’m gay, Mom. Live with it”. It might shut her up.

    • Shadow12000
      Shadow12000
      September 3, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

      13? Seriously? She had to have just hit puberty not too long before. How in the world could she be absolutely sure she was into the ladies without actually, you know, trying?

      The best case I’d guess would be that she was the kind of person who quickly commits to things. Take for example, someone who decides that drums are awesome and immediately buys a drum set. This either leads to them actually sticking with the drums for life or moving on to something else at some point in time and repeating the process over again.

      The worst case I don’t even want to mention because that’s just rude to think about.

      • David Willis
        David M Willis
        September 3, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        She probably knew she was into ladies the same way I knew I was into ladies at 13. My brain told me, over and over.

        Not sure why this is hard to believe.

        (Also girls hit puberty at an earlier age than boys, starting at like ten.)

        • Tristan B.
          Tristan B.
          September 3, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

          The great Willis has spoken. May all take heed. *bow*

        • Jelli
          Jelli
          September 3, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

          Hell, in kindergarden I used to have a boy chase me around the playground trying to get a kiss*. I let him catch me too.

          *Kindgarden kiss = I like you, I mash my face into your cheek, I tell everyone we’re now married.

        • Groove
          Groove
          September 3, 2013 at 3:57 am | #

          Exactly, it was well before I was 13 that I knew what I wanted as far as sexuality went, and I never had any doubts about it. As a teenage boy especially, your body gives you lots of hard to miss hints about what you’re attracted to.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            September 5, 2013 at 2:52 pm | #

            If memory serves, as a teenage boy, one was attracted to just about everything, including inanimate objects. That thing would come up for air at the worst possible times.

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          September 3, 2013 at 9:22 am | #

          ‘Zactly!

      • Chrissy
        Chrissy
        September 3, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        I knew I was gay at 12. I hit puberty at 14. The idea that adolescents don’t have a sexuality is absurd.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          September 3, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

          Yeah, by the time I hit 13, 80% of my brain’s runtime was devoted to boobs. No questions of what I was into.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            September 3, 2013 at 6:44 pm | #

            Only 80%, or did you include other female body parts in the mix as well? My 13YO self was like 67% Boobs, 25% Butts, 10% Cars, and 1% Everything Else. My grades plummeted those 2 years.

            • Doctor_Who
              Doctor_Who
              September 3, 2013 at 7:02 pm | #

              I liked legs, too.

      • Robin
        Robin
        September 3, 2013 at 2:59 am | #

        You make it sound like coming out is like becoming a nun forever. So what if she later discovers she’s actually bisexual, or asexual, or homosexual biromantic or bisexual aromantic, or… etc? Or maybe even straight with an exception?

        Who she’s attracted to, is not a choice. Her label is a choice. And she can choose to pick another label if she later thinks that label fits better. There is no limit in how often she can change her label.

      • Kas
        Kas
        September 3, 2013 at 3:32 am | #

        I always knew I liked girls. I wasn’t consciously aware of it until later (when my sister came out and I went “wait, liking girls and wanting to kiss them IS an option?!”). That was even before I was 13, though. Granted, I wasn’t *sexually attracted* to girls (or anyone, ever), but that’s not the only type of attraction that matters.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        September 3, 2013 at 3:48 am | #

        As far back as I can remember, I always thought that boobs were awesome. Even before I knew about any of what was going on down south, boobies were just the best. 🙂

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          September 3, 2013 at 9:23 am | #

          They still are!

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            September 3, 2013 at 11:32 pm | #

            Well, yeah. I just figured that was a given. 😉

      • SHAZAM
        SHAZAM
        September 3, 2013 at 4:24 am | #

        If I as a guy can know I like girls at 10 I’m pretty sure a girl can too. In fact I know a girl who’s 16 and has been out for quite a few years. And now wants to be called Jamie. Oddly enough when my best mate met my roomate who’s 19 and a lesbian he thought that was too early to know you were one weirdly.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        September 3, 2013 at 10:03 am | #

        I knew I was gay when I was eleven, and looking back there was significant evidence before that.

      • Narf
        Narf
        September 3, 2013 at 12:46 pm | #

        Wow, “Shadow,” what the hell is even wrong with you?

        “Your friend knew she was gay when she was 13? Pfeh, she was either flighty and committed too fast, or something else that I’m going to allude cryptically to and present as negative, and HERP A DERP DERP I’M CLEARLY AN AUTHORITY ON SEXUAL DESIRES AND THE WAY THEY MANIFEST THEMSELVES DERP HERP.”

        Swallow a little of your own self-importance before you hit the comment button next time, dude, it’ll go over better.

      • Hotsauce
        Hotsauce
        September 6, 2013 at 10:13 am | #

        I knew I was exclusively into ladies without, y’know, trying when I was in second grade. But I’m hetero, so nobody thinks that’s unusual.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      September 5, 2013 at 2:49 pm | #

      I suspect a lot of the time, they know their child is gay long before he/she comes out to them. The Glee episode is my favourite example of this.

  26. Cyth
    Cyth
    September 3, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    Maybe this is where Ethan will learn that lying to himself and his parents and everyone else about this will not make him any happier. But so far his track record has been pretty shit on that so my hopes aren’t very high. Ethan is high on my wanting to smack list, (Ignoring certain parents) At least Joyce has the excuse of batshit loco religious parents in regards to her views and has showed signs of growth as a person.

    • silvestercrow
      silvestercrow
      September 3, 2013 at 6:01 am | #

      Speaking of Joyce, there is a certain guilt trip we need to get back to. God vs. Joyce’s friendship! Damn it Willis, how long must we wait to see if Joyce caves? I feel like I’m watching a show and the episodes are released in a jumbled order, like when cartoon network picked up 6teen!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 5, 2013 at 2:56 pm | #

        Yea, watching Sailor Moon with my daughter was like that, the episodes, and even seasons, were all mixed up, I never had any idea what was going on. The changing voice actors didn’t help either.

  27. Cas A Nova
    Cas A Nova
    September 3, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

    The way their expressions do not (or do not appear to) change is priceless. They literally are just like blank angry facing him. Well, she is. Saul is just one eyebrowing his son in confusion I think.

    • Cas A Nova
      Cas A Nova
      September 3, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

      I take that back. Her eye brows become even more furrowed and angry in the last panel, my bad. Seriously.
      I can just see my parents in this. It’s almost uncanny.

      • Groove
        Groove
        September 3, 2013 at 3:50 am | #

        And technically Saul’s expression could have changed quite a bit behind that fabulous mustache.

        • Cas A Nova
          Cas A Nova
          September 3, 2013 at 4:50 am | #

          This is so true. See, so many expressions, all of them disappointed!

          • silvestercrow
            silvestercrow
            September 3, 2013 at 5:57 am | #

            Sorry I meant to comment on someone else

    • silvestercrow
      silvestercrow
      September 3, 2013 at 5:55 am | #

      Speaking of Joyce, there is a certain guilt trip I think we all should get back to. God vs. Joyce’s friendship! Who will win? Damnit Willis, we need to know!

      • Baker
        Baker
        September 3, 2013 at 7:37 pm | #

        Maybe she’ll just tell Dorothy what she’s up to with Ethan, and see if Dorothy reacts the way Sarah expects.

  28. David
    David
    September 3, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    Well, we are in serious “not buying it” territory. Even if it matches the simplistic world view they pretended having when terrorizing Amber.

    Disclaimer: any use of plural pronouns is not intended to imply that Mr. Seagal is permitted to have an opinion of his own.

    • Cas A Nova
      Cas A Nova
      September 3, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

      The disclaimers makes a valid comment ridiculously hilarious and somehow even more valid. Ace job, you rock. <3

  29. Dewey
    Dewey
    September 3, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

    Yeah. Nothing like good ol’ homophobe parents.

    Came out a decade as bi. The parents still tell me they’re unhappy with my female partners when I mention them… and this is with them knowing that the male ones tend towards the less pleasant side.

    Yeah, Ethan is taking the long route to being comfortable with himself, but you get enough shit from important areas of your life as well as yourself and you don’t want any extra trouble. Eventually a lot of people reach the stage where they run out of the ability to care about others opinions, but it’s hard until then.

    • Alex
      Alex
      September 3, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

      If homophobes exist, do not homophiles also exist?

      All the homophiles. All of them.

      • molochmachine
        molochmachine
        September 3, 2013 at 8:36 am | #

        luckily, I’d say a vast majority of homophiles are gay.

  30. Leorale
    Leorale
    September 3, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

    So much of Ethan’s life is about what everyone else is doing.

  31. Alex
    Alex
    September 3, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

    I just like the phrase “Vicariously Horny Future Grandparents”. It could be a band name.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 3, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

      Or a satirical superhero show like TMNT.

      • Alex
        Alex
        September 3, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

        What weapons would such grandparents use? Walking canes? Wrinkly toys? Hard candy machine guns? Fresh baked cookies of doom?

        • Jereko
          Jereko
          September 3, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

          Punctured condoms.

          • Alex
            Alex
            September 3, 2013 at 3:33 am | #

            I’m not sure those would make very effective weapons.

            • Chronos
              Chronos
              September 3, 2013 at 3:48 pm | #

              They give them to their enemies to use.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 4:35 am | #

          Guilt.

          And pictures of relatives’ kids, like this one of your cousin Janice’s new baby, and isn’t she adorable? How could you not want to have one of those little bundles of joy? I don’t ask much. I just want to be able to hold a grandchild some time before I die. Is that so much?

          • Narf
            Narf
            September 3, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

            “No, mom, I guess it’s not. It’ll be tough, I know, and it might take a while… but I know that they’ll eventually see reason and let you adopt a new baby. Have fun with the constant crying and stream of bodily fluids – no idea why you’d want to do that AGAIN after all these years, though! Haha!”

            Iunno, man, it could work. 😛

  32. Bunivasal
    Bunivasal
    September 3, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

    Ethan’s new haircut is cute, he said, mastering the urge to preface that with a “I’m not gay but” like a huge asshole.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      September 3, 2013 at 3:36 am | #

      Good job. Gay people don’t like huge assholes… 😉

  33. Brian Lynch
    Brian Lynch
    September 3, 2013 at 1:53 am | #

    So. That shirt. Does Mr. Siegal work at Shortpacked?

    • Ucchan
      Ucchan
      September 3, 2013 at 9:34 am | #

      That’s what I thought when I saw it. Hopefully Saul will mention some clues in the comic regarding his profession.

  34. Darnel
    Darnel
    September 3, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

    Sad Sigh.

  35. wynne
    wynne
    September 3, 2013 at 2:23 am | #

    That haircut isn’t working, Ethan.

    Also, as much as I hate the elder Siegels, Mr. Siegel’s eternal “perplexed with a mustache” face is wonderful. I hope that he’ll turn out to not be terrible like his wife (though if that were really true he’d have fucking said something by now).

    • Paul
      Paul
      September 3, 2013 at 2:51 am | #

      He might not be terrible, per se, but just completely henpecked into submission. That kind of relationship between Ethan’s parents might explain quite a bit about Ethan’s personality, actually.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        September 3, 2013 at 3:43 am | #

        “Listen to your mother, son. She knows what she’s talking about. She managed to turn me gay years ago.

        • Narf
          Narf
          September 3, 2013 at 12:53 pm | #

          Boom! Oh man, that was pretty good.

          (Also, LONG LIVE FREE NOVA SCOTIA!)

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            September 5, 2013 at 2:59 pm | #

            Just watched that episode.

  36. newllend
    newllend
    September 3, 2013 at 3:22 am | #

    You know I would have respected him more if he decide too not tell them, that entire relationship is a lie since he’s using Joyce as a stepping stone in his little identity crisis, and after amber spends all that time trying too convince his parents not to throw away there respect for him he’s does this.

    I’m sorry if somebody disagrees with me and I’m not character bashing but,THE HELL with ethan he’s nothing but a hypocrit

    • Alex
      Alex
      September 3, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

      Definition of HYPOCRITE

      1
      : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
      2
      : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

      Hmm…

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      September 3, 2013 at 4:20 am | #

      Yeah, I would have respected him more if he’d bravely stood up to his parents, defied their intense disaproval of his lifestyle and admitted, to both them and himself, that the relationship he got into to deny said lifestyle to himself is, in fact, a lie.

      But I can’t totally blame him for deciding not to. I don’t know what I’d do in his situation, but I’m prepared to bet it wouldn’t be the right thing.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        September 3, 2013 at 10:03 am | #

        Yeah, but he’s still in the “I can just pretend to be straight and everything will be normal again!” thing he was in before. He needs to change before he’s able to stand up like that. I say give it another couple weeks in-universe before he realizes that.

        • Greenygal
          Greenygal
          September 3, 2013 at 1:53 pm | #

          Ah, so sometime in 2016.

  37. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    September 3, 2013 at 3:41 am | #

    He’s only uttered one syllable, but in my head, Saul sounds like Thomas Wayne from Batman: TAS.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 3, 2013 at 3:47 am | #

      Can’t wait for Ethan to say to his fear induced hallucination of Saul that line.

  38. GrrArg42
    GrrArg42
    September 3, 2013 at 4:11 am | #

    I’ve decided his dad only actually HAS one eyebrow.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      September 3, 2013 at 5:09 am | #

      I accept your headcanon and have made it my own… at least until proven otherwise.

      • Chronos
        Chronos
        September 3, 2013 at 9:13 am | #

        I love that word, “headcannon”. It always makes me think of a guillotine.

        • Narf
          Narf
          September 3, 2013 at 12:57 pm | #

          I’m honestly curious and not trying to be a smartass (for once – it’s kind of a strange feeling) – in what way would a guillotine qualify as any kind of a cannon? It doesn’t use an explosive charge and doesn’t launch any projectiles (thumping softly into a basket full of straw and sawdust doesn’t count as being “fired,” imo).

          • Chronos
            Chronos
            September 3, 2013 at 3:31 pm | #

            Headcannon = “Cannon that fires heads.” (yes, I know that’s not its actual meaning)

            Where would such a weapon get its ammunition? A guillotine.

            Now I have the mental image of Marie Antoinette’s head being shot out of the Headcannon while she’s screaming “Let them eat cake!” I’m… not sure if that’s better or way worse…

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          September 3, 2013 at 11:49 pm | #

          It always makes me think of a Klingon skull gun, introduced in one of the post DS9 novels. It’s exactly what it sounds like, a gun surgically implanted in someone’s head, usually fired out of the mouth as a surprise weapon. A vast majority of Klingons regard it as completely insane, since even they know that having a loaded gun inside your head can not end well.

  39. Fox
    Fox
    September 3, 2013 at 6:14 am | #

    D’awww. I just wanna hug Ethan and give him a cookie.

  40. narmenduke
    narmenduke
    September 3, 2013 at 6:33 am | #

    K, if they’re just going to be awful to their son, why’d they even come?

    • Norj
      Norj
      September 3, 2013 at 7:33 am | #

      I think you just answered your own question.

    • Biege
      Biege
      September 3, 2013 at 9:02 am | #

      to be awful to their son, obviously.

    • madd
      madd
      September 3, 2013 at 9:09 am | #

      How are they being awful? In the first panel, both parents look awkward. Dad seems like he’s trying to break the ice and mom looks unsure of how she feels. She has angry eyes in the last panels, which, from her standpoint, are justified. Their son, who told them he was gay, is now telling them that he has a girlfriend. Either he put them through drama for nothing, or he is lying now. Neither is guaranteed to make the parents shiny, happy people.

      • Shade
        Shade
        September 3, 2013 at 11:18 am | #

        Meanwhile, Dad continues to look awkward, and Ethan looks like he knows he’s full of crap.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        September 3, 2013 at 11:54 pm | #

        Or they could reassure their son that they love him and support him during an emotionally confusing time instead of treating him in such a way that he feels he needs to try to not be gay in order to gain their approval.

        And by “they,” of course I mean Naomi, since Saul is simply an empty husk being controlled by Naomi-tentacles hidden below panel.

  41. SiggimusMaximus
    SiggimusMaximus
    September 3, 2013 at 7:18 am | #

    This strip got infinitely funnier when I couldn’t stop picturing Naomi as Galasso with a jewfro.

    • Thor
      Thor
      September 3, 2013 at 4:35 pm | #

      Could some people of the Jewish persuasion weigh in on whether the term “jewfro” is racist or not? I believe I have heard both Matt Stone and Art Garfunkel use it to describe their hair, but I don’t know if this is one of these “it’s only okay for us to use it” terms or not. FWIW, Wikipedia considers the term used to describe “a curly hairstyle worn by certain people usually of Ashkenazi Jewish descent” to be a humorous portmanteau.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        September 3, 2013 at 7:28 pm | #

        I’ve used the term to describe my own hair plenty of times, but then again I’m not Jewish, so take that as you will.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        September 4, 2013 at 12:00 am | #

        Not Jewish, myself, but I imagine that since “Jew” is not an inherently racist term, neither would “jewfro” be. It could potentially be considered racist depending on context, but then so could any word descriptive of ethnicity, religion, or sexual preference.

  42. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    September 3, 2013 at 8:11 am | #

    Vicariously Horny Future Grandparent Society

    Should be a thing.

    • Ocbrad1
      Ocbrad1
      September 3, 2013 at 9:27 am | #

      Now THIS sounds like a band name!

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        September 3, 2013 at 6:15 pm | #

        And their hit album “Your career don’t hug me”.

  43. hof1991
    hof1991
    September 3, 2013 at 8:42 am | #

    This is all heading to a massive drama fest at the only restaurant we know exists. I expect Blaine will be there too, Dorothy, the Walkys, Joyce and parents. It will all be straightened out there, except for Ethan.

  44. Biege
    Biege
    September 3, 2013 at 8:51 am | #

    wait wait wait wait…

    Naomi was mad at amber for making Ethan “think he was gay”. thus implying she believes he’s not gay and thus should like women. but now she seems mad at him for having a girlfriend.

    so, was she just being a bongo to amber for the sake of it and accepts he’s gay, or is she just a horrible person all together and will be mad at everyone regardless, even if they’re doing what she wants?

    • madd
      madd
      September 3, 2013 at 9:02 am | #

      Also possible that, when she first found out that Ethan was gay, she went in to denial mode and has now moved in to accepting that he is gay. Doesn’t mean she’s accepting of him being gay. Not to mention that, if she’s accepted that he is gay, this means he is either lying about the girlfriend or probably deceiving some girl. Not things that would make her happy.

      • Greenygal
        Greenygal
        September 3, 2013 at 9:35 am | #

        She was yelling at Amber for making him think he was gay less than an hour ago. If she actually thinks that Ethan is gay, then she was pretty unfair to Amber earlier.

        (Then again, maybe the problem is not that the Siegals can’t believe Ethan, but that they don’t. He is delivering this news with an air of “Look, will it make you happy if I say this?”)

    • Chubsius
      Chubsius
      September 3, 2013 at 1:26 pm | #

      Yeah, I’m thinking Naomi’s switch from sad awkward to angry has more to with how ridiculous Ethan is acting. They went through a period of intense drama, anger, and bongoiness with Ethan wants to just roll it back like it was no big deal? I’d be pissed too if I had to go through all that and then be told it was all for nothing.

  45. PokeyPuppy
    PokeyPuppy
    September 3, 2013 at 9:40 am | #

    Nothing Ethan has said would make a parent happy, normally. He went from saying he was gay, to saying, “What if I tell you I have a girlfriend,” (not actually SAYING he has a girlfriend), and then telling his parents they can act like morons in response to this. From Naomi’s viewpoint, it’s not him realizing he’s NOT gay, it’s him acting ridiculous, so yeah, I would guess she’d still be unhappy with him. Just my take on it.

  46. Leonou
    Leonou
    September 3, 2013 at 9:50 am | #

    I’m starting to get an “awfull parents” overload ….

    I demand more Saruyama family screen-time !
    They can celebrate adopting Sarah by taking Sierra’s familly to the dinner ! Awesomeness ensue.

  47. Love is Mathematical
    Love is Mathematical
    September 3, 2013 at 10:12 am | #

    A tiny downward shift in Naomi’s eyebrows reveals the difference between concern and annoyance. It’s amazing.

  48. Shade
    Shade
    September 3, 2013 at 11:15 am | #

    I thought this one was kind of funny. In the first panel, Naomi seems kind of sad, and then in the last one she’s like “Really?”

    Funnies aside, can we have some happy times soon?

  49. Wallace Wells
    Wallace Wells
    September 3, 2013 at 12:28 pm | #

    guy needs a haircut

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      September 3, 2013 at 4:16 pm | #

      You mean aside from the one he already had?

      • Wallace Wells
        Wallace Wells
        September 5, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

        I mean actually cutting his hair. Too long.

  50. MaNomANom
    MaNomANom
    September 3, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

    Can I just point out the beautifully subtle work Willis did with Naomi’s eyebrows? In the first panel they look vaguely concerned, but by the final panel they have ever gently migrated into actual irritation/anger. Well done!

  51. Thor
    Thor
    September 3, 2013 at 4:23 pm | #

    I just want to say that Ethan’s stand-up routine still needs a lot of work.

  52. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    September 3, 2013 at 4:51 pm | #

    I… don’t think that’s how it works, Ethan.

  53. CP
    CP
    September 3, 2013 at 6:32 pm | #

    People would be largely a lot better off if they’d stop worrying about sex so much in the first place. It isn’t healthy to feed those interests for a good long time after they manifest, anyway, so why is everyone so supportive of having people decide about their sexuality so early on?

    Not to mention that desires are not at all what determines your sexuality. If it were, people would have to recognize bestiality and pedophilia and many other predispositions as no different from being attracted to a certain gender. It’s your intentions and your actions that determine your sexuality, not your attractions. People are NOT slaves to their hormones.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      September 3, 2013 at 7:31 pm | #

      …

      Well, you got the first and last sentences right. That’s something.

      • David Willis
        David M Willis
        September 3, 2013 at 10:10 pm | #

        I-I’m pretty sure that likening homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia means I have to remove this person from my website.

        But I’m just too in awe of the tonedeafness of it all.

        • CP
          CP
          September 4, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

          I think you probably misunderstood me, as that was what I was explicitly not doing.

          • Azaph
            Azaph
            September 4, 2013 at 12:47 pm | #

            Except that the implication in
            “If it were, people would have to recognize bestiality and pedophilia and many other predispositions as no different from being attracted to a certain gender”
            is that the ONLY difference between pedophiles and gay people is whether or not they actually act on their desires. Which is offensive in itself, is MORE offensive because there are actually people who act upon pedophillic desires (unfortunately), and is even MORE offensive because, as mentioned below, you’re not correct in saying that orientation is defined by action, and you said that if it were true that orientation was based on attraction, then pedophillia would be ‘no different’.
            As also mentioned below, the major difference is one of consent, though there are other differences too. And I’d disagree that either pedophillia or bestiality are ‘orientations’ exactly, that comes down to a debate on what, exactly constitutes ‘orientation’, which I hesitate to start.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      September 3, 2013 at 11:21 pm | #

      I… I think you should go. That would probably be the best for everyone here. Go before someone sees how offensive you just were in comparing gender attraction to an unorthodox sexual fetish (bestiality), and a mental/psychological illness born from years of abuse (usually sexual abuse) as a child (pedophilia), and completely shuts you down by listing all the ways that you are utterly wrong.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      September 4, 2013 at 11:42 am | #

      Ah, what the heck, let’s do this.

      People would be largely a lot better off if they’d stop worrying about sex

      True, if only because people largely would be better off if they’d stop worrying, period.

      It isn’t healthy to feed those interests for a good long time after they manifest

      That really depends on the individual, and how they feed those interests.

      why is everyone so supportive of having people decide about their sexuality so early on?

      First of all, people don’t decide what their sexuality is, only how they express it. Having said that, the answer to your question is: because everyone has the right to define and identify themselves however they want.

      Not to mention that desires are not at all what determines your sexuality. […] It’s your intentions and your actions that determine your sexuality, not your attractions.

      That is the opposite of the truth. Your sexual attractions are your sexual orientation. A person who is sexually attracted only to people of the same gender is homosexual. It doesn’t matter if they marry and have children with someone of the opposite gender (and many have) – they’re still homosexual.

      If it were, people would have to recognize bestiality and pedophilia and many other predispositions as no different from being attracted to a certain gender.

      I have no idea how you arrived at that conclusion, but let’s compare:

      Being sexually attracted to persons of a certain gender on the one hand, and being sexually attracted to animals or children on the other, are similar in that they are all sexual orientations.

      They are different, however, in that putting an attraction to animals or children into practice necessitates taking advantage of someone who lacks an adult human’s full ability to give, or not give, consent.

      There’s a whole can of worms to be opened here, if we want to bring animal rights and age of consent into the discussion, but that’s not really relevant now. The bottom line is that the answer to the question “What determines someone’s sexuality?” has no bearing on the difference between bestiality and bisexuality.

      People are NOT slaves to their hormones.

      Generally true.

      …And that’s that.

      • David Willis
        David M Willis
        September 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm | #

        Okay, after seeing that dude’s response to this post, he’s going in the spam filter from now on. My god, dude. Stop comparing homosexuality to various morally abominable choices, for like one second.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          September 5, 2013 at 3:13 am | #

          Now I feel this weird mix of relief and disappointment that I didn’t get to see the response. It’s kind of morbidly fascinating to see how people manage to dig themselves deeper even when you take away their shovel and give them a ladder.

  54. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    September 3, 2013 at 7:02 pm | #

    Let’s hope his parents get him out of this mistake… or maye just a little longer.

  55. Chase the Ace
    Chase the Ace
    September 4, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

    I’m sorry, but I love Ethan’s dad. As long as he never changes his face.

    • Andrew_C
      Andrew_C
      September 4, 2013 at 12:12 pm | #

      I imagine he’s thinking “4 more years then I can divorce this bongo.” He’s probably counting down to the second.

  56. ThatGug
    ThatGug
    August 28, 2014 at 8:42 am | #

    and thats the look every young gay person fears growing up.

    Though there is hope for the next generation.

    Now let me go sleep with my boyfriend who i’ve been with for 4 years in our apartment who’s number i havent told my father despite him hinting it at least twice now….

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Panel 1
Jules and Blackbird chilling on the couch. 
J: I'm going to my friend's Pride March in Animal crossing! Time to make a cool outfit that show off my cousins. 
B: But you already have Disaster Bisexual outfits in Animal Crossing. 
Panel 2
Jules attempts to sew a dress in the Pansexual colors.
J: I am not a disaster bisexual. I'm Pansexual.
B: What's the difference? 
J: Getting horny for way more options.
Panel 3
Blackbird flutters agitatedly at Jules, who struggles with the sewing machine. 
B: Jules you're running out of time! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time!
B: We gotta go! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time! 
B: We gotta go! We're gonna miss the march! 
J: It's fine it's fine it's fine it's--
Panel 4: 
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B: Jesus God, you really are a disaster bisexual. 
J: Disaster Pansexual.
B: Right. 
B: Jesus God
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