Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Well past

by David M Willis on November 6, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (311) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. piemanpie24
    piemanpie24
    November 6, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Finally, less family drama. Now we move on to the drunk lesbian drama.

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      November 6, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      But there is only one lesbian and one drunk…

      • insomniac
        insomniac
        November 6, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        One recovering alcoholic lesbian and one drunk bisexual.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          November 6, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          Two bisexuals, one recovering one lying.

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            November 6, 2013 at 1:14 pm | #

            We don’t actually know with certainty whether Ruth identifies as Gay or Bi. She’d had one known relationship with a male in the WV that went badly, and in this continuity, she’s only really shown any interest in Billie (who she mentioned was her first “girl of interest” So at this point, she could be Gay, Bi, straight but gay for Billie, Billiesexual, etc…It’s a little silly to get territorial over it.

            • Kladeos
              Kladeos
              November 6, 2013 at 6:50 pm | #

              Willis has stated that neither are exclusively into girls, so Ruth is probably bisexual or pansexual.

        • KingMabel
          KingMabel
          November 6, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          Not that I don’t believe you, but I forget where they mention Billie is bi.

          • Kladeos
            Kladeos
            November 6, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

            Billie is at the very least confirmed bi-curious – she tells Joyce that everyone is curious about being gay. But she was bisexual in Roomies, making her bisexual in the Dumbiverse too.

            • Varangian
              Varangian
              November 6, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

              There was also the fact she offered to jump on top of Danny’s D back during the interview arc thing. Like, she likes dudes at least a little.

            • Lilith
              Lilith
              November 6, 2013 at 10:32 am | #

              She was bi in Dumbiverse? How did I missed that? I guess I was too focused to wonder what on earth she did see in Danny.

          • John
            John
            November 6, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

            Leaving aside the Walkyverse and all hints and speculation: Billie has attempted to kiss Sal, and jumped Danny.

            Willis has said that Ruth is not exclusively lesbian, but Billie is the only person in either universe that she’s exhibited a definite attraction to.

        • David Herbert
          David Herbert
          November 6, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          I actually forgot Billie was bi in the Walkyverse. Stands to reason she’d also be in this universe as well since Willis said everyone’s the same sexuality in response to all the Ethan comments.

          • insomniac
            insomniac
            November 6, 2013 at 9:00 am | #

            She also attempted to drunkenly mac on Sal.

    • Dicrel Seijin
      Dicrel Seijin
      November 6, 2013 at 3:29 am | #

      “Hey, we can tag-team her.” is perhaps the best Billie quote ever.

      • Aeyt
        Aeyt
        November 6, 2013 at 4:03 am | #

        My thoughts exactly!

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    November 6, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    “Okay, but THEN we make out, okay??”

  3. Fay
    Fay
    November 6, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    And I’m pretty sure that the worst parent award still goes to Blaine.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      I dunno. What about Danny’s parents. They brought DANNY into the world.

      • Jay Eff
        Jay Eff
        November 6, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Yeah, but not necessarily on PURPOSE.

        • All Else Fails
          All Else Fails
          November 6, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

          “SHUT UP! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN! IF I HAD A GUN, I’D KILL ALL OF YOU!”

          • Rikushadow5
            Rikushadow5
            November 6, 2013 at 8:09 am | #

            “I never asked for this…”

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        November 6, 2013 at 1:36 am | #

        I think you just hate Danny because he reminds you of yourself. There’s no worse hate than self-hate.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          November 6, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

          I’m pretty sure that everyone who hates Danny does so due to envy. He is considerate, friendly, loyal, and patient, not to mention that he has had at least three attractive women pursuing him at various times. He behaves in an emotionally mature manner and has so far exhibited so few flaws that people feel the need to make them up whole cloth. And he’s doing this at an age that most of us were complete blinking idiots. Most of us can only aspire to be like Danny. And deep down, we all know it.

          • Varangian
            Varangian
            November 6, 2013 at 2:58 am | #

            [comically aghast voice]Why, you! BLASPHEMER! HERETIC! Recant! Recant! Forswear Danny or be shunned![/comically aghast voice]

          • John
            John
            November 6, 2013 at 3:39 am | #

            If you think Danny is considerate, you haven’t been paying much attention to Danny. Danny can’t be considerate of other people because Danny never actually engages with other people. He lives in a fantasy world that he’s built up in his head, and considers other people only insofar as they fit into the fantasy roles he’s cast them in.

            There’s a reason that Dorothy dumped him. There’s a reason that he couldn’t figure out that Dorothy was dumping him even while she was doing it. There’s a reason that he refuses to consciously acknowledge Amazi-Girl’s identity even though he recognized her. There’s a reason that he was dating the fantasy Amber instead of the real one in the first place. These are all the same reason.

            And when I was Danny’s age (lo these many moons ago), I was dating the only girl in CS in my year. And I knew her name.

            Be like Danny. Gods forbid.

            • Kivitasku
              Kivitasku
              November 6, 2013 at 4:16 am | #

              Not sure if failing to recognize subtleties of communication from others makes you inconsiderate. Is it lack of attention or lack of empathy skills? He seems to want to do the right thing by people, he just doesn’t see them for who they are and what they want. He’s not connecting. Of course, there is also a prominent kind of a jerkass who totally does see the subtle hints and just chooses to ignore them when they don’t align with what he wants to see.

              • John
                John
                November 6, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

                Well, you can’t be considerate of people if you don’t try to understand what they actually want and need so that you can, well, consider that. While it’s certainly debatable how much you can really blame someone for something they legitimately don’t understand, I’m more inclined to blame Danny for it than, say, Dina, because, while Dina understands even less, she’s willing, even eager, to accept correction when things are explained to her and attempts to revise her behaviour accordingly. Danny just digs in his heels and rejects anything that doesn’t comply with his fantasy – witness the whole breakup with Dorothy.

                • KKoro
                  KKoro
                  November 7, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

                  You mean the one where he tried to make any excuse to avoid the thing that he had placed all of his importance in?

                  Oh wow. What an inhuman monster. Surely the breakup was purely because he wasn’t perfect enough for Dorothy, and she is utterly infallible in her actions and choices of lovers.

                  Give me a fucking break.

            • Admiral ChucK
              Admiral ChucK
              November 6, 2013 at 8:43 am | #

              I feel bad for Danny, honestly. Some of his qualities reminded me of me (although I connect to several characters) I think everyone seems to hate Danny because nobody here connects with his character.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              November 6, 2013 at 9:27 am | #

              Meh, you’re overreaching here. Yeah, Danny’s terrible, but his interactions with Dorothy since being dumped don’t indicate someone who believes he’s the main character of the story. Those assholes exist, and they almost always cast the ex- as a shrieking harpy who wanted our #bravehero to suffer.

              Mind, this doesn’t make him considerate, but the way in which you cast that inconsiderate nature of his isn’t accurate. For the record Amber is also kinda hilariously fucked up, but she’s also actually amusing.

              • Logician
                Logician
                November 6, 2013 at 10:20 am | #

                I don’t think John’s overreaching. You’re missing the fact that an important part of Danny’s fantasy is that “he’s a nice guy”. He doesn’t diss his ex because that’s not what nice guys do: he’d much rather pine tragically, then win her back in the third reel. This means he’s not a total asshole, but he’s still completely ignoring her wants and needs. You can’t call it considerate.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  November 6, 2013 at 3:19 pm | #

                  Empirical evidence indicates that griping is exactly what nice guys do. Also, I explicitly said he is inconsiderate.

                • KrytenKoro
                  KrytenKoro
                  November 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm | #

                  Yeah, in the face of joe attacking him, danny makes a bullshit, condescending excuse.

                  Which he -immediately- retracts. As projection Meaning, its nonsensical to point to that as evidence of him trying to portray himself as better than he is, or unable to care about others. He admitted the real reason he didn’t want to have sex before the conversation as over, and the condescending excuse _only_ came up as a vapid defense aginst joe’s bullshit judging of him, and was plainly not what he actually felt at the time. He omes off as overly focused on romance, not selfish or a mysoginist.

                  As for ambition, he plainly has one: to be with he woman he loves forever. Its not a class-based one like dorothy’s, but its stil plainly his goal, and its not that uncommon to have.

                  His time with amber? Vanilla friendship with the potential for romance. His time with. Amazigirl? A vanilla kink with a -real girl- who he still enjoys hanging out with. Beyond the sillinss involved in getting her attention in the first place, and deciding to play along for, what, three weeks? He’s doing basically the same stuff with her as he would have done with amber. He’s a romantic – he’s irrational, but I don’t see how it makes him the asshole people keep making him out to be, especially compared to the actually (often) malicious characters we see in this strip and everyone is rooting for.

                  He’s imperfect and a bit more cliche than the other archetypes in this comic, big whoop.

              • MsSchiff
                MsSchiff
                November 6, 2013 at 10:50 am | #

                He doesn’t even think he’s the main character of the story!

                He’s f***ing Silver Age LOIS LANE.

              • John
                John
                November 6, 2013 at 2:32 pm | #

                Never said he was casting himself as the main character of the story. In fact, with both Dorothy and Amazi-Girl, he cast himself in a decidedly secondary role. That doesn’t change that he’s casting his romantic interests in fantasy roles and reacting to his expectations of the fantasy rather than considering the real person.

                He does, as Logician says, cast himself as heroic (and I can only imagine how he’s spinning his treatment of Amber at the bridge to make that the good, considerate, heroic way to have handled the situation), but that’s not the same thing as casting himself as the hero.

                And, yeah, the only reason it worked as well as it did with Amazi-Girl is that Amber is also hilariously fucked up and living a fantasy, and her fantasy was congruent with Danny’s fantasy. But the reason it broke down so rapidly and angrily is that Amber doesn’t live entirely in the fantasy. She’s two different people, the real Amber and the fantasy Amazi-Girl, and the part of her that isn’t Amazi-Girl wasn’t willing to accept being cast as Clark Kent and being the eternal loser to her cooler (angry, violent, dangerous, broken) fantasy side.

                ‘Cause she’s not really Superman/Clark Kent. She’s Batman/Bruce Wayne, a broken person using her alter ego to offload all her anger and fear and pain so that she doesn’t have to carry it herself. And every time she pushes a chunk of her self over into Amazi-Girl, she comes a little closer to ending up like Bruce, just an empty husk that Batman sometimes wears as a disguise.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  November 6, 2013 at 3:22 pm | #

                  Considering that a realistic thing he said was exactly why Dorothy dumped him, there’s kind of an issue here. It’s definitely partially right, but not entirely.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  November 6, 2013 at 3:23 pm | #

                  Rather, the realistic thing was the proximate cause. It was deeper than one condescending comment.

                • John
                  John
                  November 6, 2013 at 7:12 pm | #

                  I got the impression that Dorothy had been trying to subtly hint around the breakup for a while, but the thing that finally convinced her to just rip the band-aid off was Danny expressing his expectation that Dorothy would abandon her own dreams and ambitions in order to comply with his fantasy.

                  (And, really, what kind of crappy metaphor is that band-aid thing? I hear it all the time, but the problem I’ve always had with band-aids is getting them to stay on. I usually have to duct tape them.)

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  November 6, 2013 at 9:25 pm | #

                  That’s not a fantasy. That’s a mundane, reasonable expectation. It’s possibly wrong, and condescending, and terribly unsupportive, but if you want to paint Danny as someone who can’t maintain a realistic look at reality, “I don’t think you’ll actually maintain the drive to become president long enough to reach harvard” isn’t helping your case. Her ambitions *informed* his fantasy. Saying those ambitions wouldn’t last is saying *The fantasy won’t happen*. She can’t bang him in the Oval Office if she’s not the president.

                • John
                  John
                  November 6, 2013 at 10:31 pm | #

                  Ah, there’s the disconnect. Dorothy being President wasn’t Danny’s fantasy. That’s Dorothy’s dream (which may not be realistic, but she’s making a real effort at it, which even in the likely case that she fails should leave her in a good position for a consolation prize). Danny’s fantasy was that it was twoo wuv and forever and wherever Dorothy went, whether that was the White House or the Waffle House, Danny would be right there at her side, updating her patches and banging her on her desk.

                  But Dorothy wasn’t really feeling that, and tried to subtly hint that to him. But subtle doesn’t work on Danny, and when she finally got blatant, and told him that if she went where she wanted to go, he couldn’t follow her, his response was to express his hope that she decided not to go where she wanted to and stayed there and played faithful lover and wife to him instead.

                  “… thinking love was more important than stupid Yale!”

                  In other words, “My fantasy is more important than your stupid fantasy!”

                  That’s not love, Danny.

                • KKoro
                  KKoro
                  November 7, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

                  …being hurt that someone would choose ambition over being with you?

                  Are you kidding me? How completely fucking unrealistic to see a _teenager_ going the whole “I just want my beloved to be happy” route? You seriously think it can’t be love if there isn’t even a hint of wanting the person to be there with you in there?

                  As for Danny asking Dorothy to abandon his dreams — by your own definition, Dorothy was asking the same thing. At least Danny couched it in the hypothetical that if he perservered for her, she would change her mind. Not “give up”, but “reevaluate”.

                  “As well as the examples John gives, consider the encounter with Billie.”
                  If you mean the one where she was taking her top off, I remember that as him saying that there was a girl he liked and he wanted to be with her, instead of having a fling.

                  Defining a guy saying he’d rather not have vapid sex to a girl as somehow being callous to her out of self ego is just…wut.

                  Seriously, wut.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  November 7, 2013 at 7:28 am | #

                  “This is true love” is a very, very, VERY mundane fantasy, shared by thousands of people who have no business in it. When people talk about Danny’s desire for fantasies, they generally mean he has unrealistic, ABNORMAL fantasies.

                  What he said was condescending, insensitive, and dickish, but not particularly unrealistic (except inasmuch as saying it out loud was a stupid thing to do). Everything about his time with Amber *does* scream about unrealistic fantasies, but with Dorothy? Yeah, it’s unrealistic, but in the same way many people’s mundane hopes are unrealistic (And ‘This is true love’ is less of a fantasy than Dorothy’s desire to be president, Joyce’s thinking she’ll find a husband for her in college, everything Amber seems to cram into Amazi-girl, or Walky thinking he can get away with coasting forever).

                  And no, with Billie, he also explicitly characterized Billie as not knowing what she wanted, and being incapable of forming the decision to bang on her own. He ADMITS this was projection on his part. He explicitly ignores her feelings, is called on it by Joe, and concedes. I don’t have high standards here; it’s one thing to not want to sleep with her, and another to insist Billie does not either. It’s not just insensitive, it is, again, condescending.

                  Additionally, Dorothy didn’t ask him to give up any ambition except ultimately the ‘true love’ one, and THAT wasn’t until they broke up and she made it clear that was over. Danny didn’t HAVE ambitions; she can’t ask him to give them up.

          • Logician
            Logician
            November 6, 2013 at 6:39 am | #

            Danny wants to be a good guy, he would hate to be thought selfish by anyone (especially himself), he sees himself as the hero of the story. But you’re being taken in by his own fantasy: his actions are not considerate of others, they are only considerate of his own image. As well as the examples John gives, consider the encounter with Billie. He completely ignored what she actually wanted or needed because he only saw things in terms of “how the hero should act”. Joe called him on it, and Joe was right, in spite of being so one-dimensional.

            Hate is too strong a word, but my dislike of him is sharpened by the fear that maybe, at that age, I was a little bit like him.

            • Camila
              Camila
              November 6, 2013 at 5:44 pm | #

              He didn’t want to have sex with Billie, how can you people find something wrong with that!? He should have considered what Billie wanted? If I remember correctly he didn’t even knew who she was and even if he did it was his choice to have or not to have sex with her and both choices are ok, I don’t understand why everyone dislikes Danny so much, he is just an average guy.

              • Kladeos
                Kladeos
                November 6, 2013 at 7:31 pm | #

                No. It’s not that he didn’t want to have sex with her. It’s that he thought he knew what was right for Billie better than she did. He didn’t want to “take advantage of” someone who was not in a position to be taken advantage of, implying that he was doing her a favour by not sleeping with her like she wanted.

                • Kladeos
                  Kladeos
                  November 6, 2013 at 7:33 pm | #

                  “But what if she thinks it’s a bad decision later?” Danny asks, but what he really did was take away her ability to make that decision for herself.

                • insomniac
                  insomniac
                  November 6, 2013 at 8:52 pm | #

                  Now, if Danny had said “I don’t feel like I am in a position where casual sex is emotionally healthy FOR ME” he would be 100% in the right. (And yeah, Billie and Joe would impugn his masculinity, and they would be assholes for doing so.)

                  But instead he had to cast it as making a decision on HER behalf, because he knew what was good for her better than she did, which is pretty goddamn patronizing.

                • KKoro
                  KKoro
                  November 7, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

                  Or you could read the very next comic, where he admits he was making the first excuse that came to mind to cover for, you guessed it, that he wasn’t in a position where casual sex is emotionally healthy for him.

                  ’cause, insomniac, he pretty much said those _exact words_ in the very next panel.

                  This is cherrypicking to a ridiculous extreme, guys. Yes, people make stupid excuses for their behavior when being attacked for their behavior. OHMYFUCKINGGAWD WHATASURPRISE.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 6, 2013 at 8:03 am | #

            I am Danny’s age, and I can tell you, I’m not very envious of him.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 6, 2013 at 8:04 am | #

          Danny also doesn’t remind me of myself. Are you calling me Danny? What an insult!
          Also, who said I hate Danny?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      No contest. Blaine wins. His prize is a lifetime supply of groin kicks.

      • rachel
        rachel
        November 6, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

        more like a DEATHtime supply !!!

        …eh? EH??

        • Varangian
          Varangian
          November 6, 2013 at 3:00 am | #

          1.) A fantastic idea.

          2.) I love how your gravatar has Amber either proposing the idea or approving of it.

          • rachel
            rachel
            November 6, 2013 at 7:52 pm | #

            thanks I cropped it myself, ahhhh I love Amber so much!!

        • pyrophobia
          pyrophobia
          November 6, 2013 at 7:43 am | #

          *slow clap*

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

        Groin kicks followed by multiple elbow drops to the balls.

    • Kladeos
      Kladeos
      November 6, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

      Some of the other parents are in ways almost worse because their abuse is less obviously horrific. Like Ethan’s and Sal’s.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

      Heck, dude trumps Gendo Ikari.

      • Rani
        Rani
        November 7, 2013 at 10:39 am | #

        Hey now let’s not get ahead of ourselves

  4. Maxy
    Maxy
    November 6, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    I’m not sure they’ve thought this plan through well enough. If she punches Billie, what willAmazi-girl do?

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      November 6, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Vanish mysteriously into the night?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Inverted Takedown?

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          November 6, 2013 at 2:02 am | #

          German suplex?

          • James
            James
            November 6, 2013 at 2:31 am | #

            The moss-covered three-handled family gredunza?

            • buzzsaw
              buzzsaw
              November 6, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

              ARMBAR

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                November 6, 2013 at 6:09 am | #

                Number 2: Armdrag.

                • DSL
                  DSL
                  November 6, 2013 at 10:03 am | #

                  Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator. At last.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              November 6, 2013 at 9:28 am | #

              Oh hai it’s the only wrestling bit I know 😀

              Well, one of the only two.
              “INDEED” – 船木

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      November 6, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      But you see, Ruth is Amazi *is shot*

      I never…even…understood…that joke…

  5. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    November 6, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    That last panel pretty much sums up their whole relationship doesn’t it?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 6, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Their ship the USS Tsundere is one heck of a battleship.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        November 6, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        I’ve seen ships come and go, but this ship looks tough enough to live a long life.

        Partially because it’s the most complex.

        • All Else Fails
          All Else Fails
          November 6, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          Is it Rubix Cube complex? Or Code Lyoko Sector 5 complex?

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            November 6, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

            Okay 2 things:

            1. Points on Code Lyoko reference

            2. Code Lyoko Sector 5 ain’t got shit on Billie X Ruth

            • That One Weirdo
              That One Weirdo
              November 6, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

              XANA ever wants to defeat those quirky kids, all it has to do is make them navigate through a simulation of these two’s emotions.

              THEY WON’T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE.

              • pyrophobia
                pyrophobia
                November 6, 2013 at 7:46 am | #

                It’d probably disable Amber first so she can’t save them.
                It’d be all too easy for it too: just kill all her gaming devices. OHKO.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        November 6, 2013 at 12:44 pm | #

        I-it’s not like I w-wanted to s-sink you, b-baka~

  6. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    November 6, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Uh oh. Hopefully the police have actually nabbed Blaine this time. I’m thinking he could be actual trouble.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      November 6, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      The abusive asshole might be actual trouble?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        You should see a doctor about that.

        • Sammie1053
          Sammie1053
          November 6, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          He would but his asshole keeps threatening him every time he thinks of going.
          …
          Let’s stop making abusive relationship related jokes, i have a feeling we’re both going to hell now.

          • Sammie1053
            Sammie1053
            November 6, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            No, wait, just me. I’m too sleep deprived and stressed to use proper moral judgment when trying to construct humor.

      • Luzahn
        Luzahn
        November 6, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        Well, I mean legitimate-danger trouble, not asshole-behavior trouble.

        We’ve yet to see if Blaine is just talk in this universe or not.

        • John
          John
          November 6, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

          Blaine’s clearly not just talk. His problem is that he happened to pick the two most violent girls in the dorm to get physical on.

          *remembers that Billie threw the first punch against Ruth*

          Uh, two of the three most violent girls in the dorm…

          *remembers that Joyce smashed a glass in a guy’s face*

          Uh, two of the four…

          *remembers that Sarah took a bat to the guy after that*

          Uh… yeah, he should just cut his losses while he’s still got all his parts attached. You don’t fuck with the DoA ladies.

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            November 6, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

            Welcome to Clark Wing, our primary export is PAIN.

            • John
              John
              November 6, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

              Primary import is emotional issues!

              • Kernanator
                Kernanator
                November 6, 2013 at 2:33 am | #

                I’ve been trying to think of who do we know that lives in Clark Wing and hasn’t been violent.

                So far, that list is “Dorothy”.

                • John
                  John
                  November 6, 2013 at 3:03 am | #

                  Dina (unless rope traps count). Sierra. Roz. Mary. Agatha. Mandy. Grace. Rachel.

                  I think somewhere around Agatha that list stops being “people we know”, though.

            • Cybersnark
              Cybersnark
              November 6, 2013 at 6:13 am | #

              Welcome to the dorm of pain.

              • Kernanator
                Kernanator
                November 6, 2013 at 3:35 pm | #

                Dorm of Pain, the new wrestling pay-per-view.

            • joeyo
              joeyo
              November 7, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

              “Dina (unless rope traps count). Sierra. Roz. Mary. Agatha. Mandy. Grace. Rachel.”

              Roz got violent (with Joe’s penis)

              I wish we could have seen Dina actually tying up Faz, I’m sure violence and possible dinosaur noise imitations were involved.

          • Bill
            Bill
            November 6, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

            *remembers that Joyce smashed a glass in a guy’s face*

            But remember, Joyce was being roofied in an attempted date-rape and fortunately recognized it in time.  I’m giving her a pass on this one.  Ditto with Sarah; she was being a true wingman (wingwoman?) and she absolutely had Joyce’s six that time.

            • Kladeos
              Kladeos
              November 6, 2013 at 1:03 pm | #

              Joyce joined Mike in beating up Joe after Joe checked out the waitress (Conquest).

            • John
              John
              November 6, 2013 at 3:01 pm | #

              I’m not blaming Joyce. Or Sarah, or Amber. I’m just sayin’: Don’t fuck with the DoA ladies; they will cut you.

              (Sarah does catch some blame for punching Raidah, which was at the very least an overreaction. But she knows she did wrong there, and has apologized for it.)

              • John
                John
                November 6, 2013 at 3:13 pm | #

                And I’m not blaming Ruth for being violent at Blaine.

                Ruth and Billie, though, need to settle which of them is going to be the alpha bongo so they can get down to banging like they obviously want to. Either that or get a safe word.

                Oh, and I didn’t even mention convenience-store-robber Sal before…

            • rachel
              rachel
              November 6, 2013 at 7:55 pm | #

              Noooo, they don’t get a “pass,” their awesome efforts get ACCOLADES!

        • MR K
          MR K
          November 6, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

          Well, he tried to attack Ruth, and only left when he realized that he didn’t want a fight with campus security.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      November 6, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

      Trying to imagine what would happen if instead, Amazi-girl caught him trying to sneak on campus.

  7. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    November 6, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ruth’s last comment reminds of that romance option with Kinzie from Saints Row IV in which if you ask for a fuck, she punchs you in the face become jumping your bones.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      I kinda liked that……don’t know why exactly.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 6, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Cos deep down, you knew that Kinzie was a tsundere with a capital TSUN.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 6, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

          Cuz deep down we all like a good face punching before bone jumping.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 6, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

          No, it’s not the Tsundere part. I sorta have a thing for asskicking women in glasses…I guess.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            November 6, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

            You like to kick the ass of girls wearing glasses? 😛 KINKY!

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              November 6, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

              No, I prefer women who kicked ass…and wear glasses. But that sorta worked too.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                November 6, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

                I like ass kicking women in general. Especially wearing modest clothing.

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  November 6, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

                  Me too. And I don’t really care what they are wearing as long as they kick ass.

              • John
                John
                November 6, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

                Amber’s here to kick ass and wear glasses.

                And as Amazi-Girl, she’s not wearing her glasses.

                • DSL
                  DSL
                  November 6, 2013 at 10:06 am | #

                  Prescription mask, maybe?
                  A campus night vigilante must be prepared.

                • Bill
                  Bill
                  November 6, 2013 at 12:52 pm | #

                  Clark Kent wears glasses but doesn’t need them.  Maybe it’s the same with Amazi-Girl.

                • John
                  John
                  November 6, 2013 at 1:40 pm | #

                  Willis has said that her vision, at this point in her life, just isn’t really all that bad, so she can get by without her glasses if she has to. Shortpacked! Amber is older, and her eyesight is worse.

                  I have a friend, one of the best SCA heavy fighters I know, who is very short-sighted and fights without his glasses. His take on it is, “When something comes into focus, either block it or hit it.” Seems to work for him; he was King of the East once.

                • Kladeos
                  Kladeos
                  November 6, 2013 at 2:03 pm | #

                  I do my martial arts gradings without glasses too, but if I had contacts I’d wear them because you do miss subtle things when everything’s less in focus than you’re accustomed to. Also Amazi-Girl climbs buildings and whatnot. I wouldn’t do that without my glasses unless I had to. I wouldn’t even walking around on uneven terrain without them.

  8. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    November 6, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Interesting thing: while I was reading, my mouse was just over Billie’s wrist on Ruth’s shoulder and it turned into the little hand pointing up, so at first I thought Billie was touching Ruth’s chin oh so sweetly.

    • Kladeos
      Kladeos
      November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      It’s kinda interesting how she goes from being all crossed arms and defensive (hopefully from guilt for drinking) to touching her (a girl that likes her). Not the first time she initiated casual contact with Ruth in her room either.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Billie crosses her arms like that because it helps hold up her massive mammaries.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          November 6, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          This is probably true.

        • kateastrophe
          kateastrophe
          November 6, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

          As the owner of massive mammaries myself, I do not recommend this strategy.

          • Kladeos
            Kladeos
            November 6, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

            Perfect gravatar.

      • John
        John
        November 6, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

        I’m not sure but what she’s doing that to create extra bonus cleavage, consciously or unconsciously.

    • Sammie1053
      Sammie1053
      November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      “Shh, no beers, only lesbians now”
      *reads my own comment*
      CLOSE ENOUGH

  9. Kladeos
    Kladeos
    November 6, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    God they are the greatest and they make me so happy. Can someone tell me what the alt text is for today so I can go back to sleep?

    • Tori
      Tori
      November 6, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      The alt text is, “Billie offers a unique sort of ‘help’.”

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Does your browser prevent you from seeing it? It’s:

      billie offers a unique sort of ‘help’

      • Kladeos
        Kladeos
        November 6, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Thanks, both of you.

        I’m just on my phone. Usually I can see hover text but because DoA strips are links I can’t.

        • garaden
          garaden
          November 6, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

          Woah. I always thought some webcomics didn’t make their images links just because they hadn’t bothered/thought about it, but that’s an actual reason to not do it!

          • Kladeos
            Kladeos
            November 6, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

            It’s only been since iPhones got the new iOS that I’ve been able to see any hover text, so your hypothesis is probably true. In general I prefer links for ease of archive binging. I doubt it’d be too hard for them to make it so links with hover text show hove text AND the link destination.

  10. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    November 6, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    JUST F*** ALREADY!!!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 6, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Just as long as they use protection *gives Ruth a boxing glove and Billie a mouthguard*

      • All Else Fails
        All Else Fails
        November 6, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        Well that escalated quickly.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 6, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

          It’s that sort of relationship.

    • John
      John
      November 6, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      “Fight” has five letters.

      • owltawny
        owltawny
        November 6, 2013 at 9:00 am | #

        Fist has four…. 😉

        • Tristan B.
          Tristan B.
          November 6, 2013 at 9:06 am | #

          The paaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    November 6, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Blaine is not going to go away, until someone kills him. He’s a total nutjob.
    Billie slept in all right, to cover her hangover.
    Gottawonder why these two haven’t faced the fact: you can’t trust a drunk.

    • garaden
      garaden
      November 6, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

      Jail tiiime, jail tiiiiiiiiime, JA-IL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

      Here’s the jail
      It never fails…

      Ok, it might, but it’d at least slow him down.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

        Hello dad! I’m in jail!

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      November 6, 2013 at 7:16 am | #

      Ruth is too self-aware not to know. Billie’s clueless on that score.

  12. Super Duper
    Super Duper
    November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Of course it will be Ruth. Ruth is like the Sisko of Dumbing of Age.
    “Hi there!”
    *PAWNCH*

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

      Ah, Captain Sisko. The only dude who could get away with decking an omnipotent being.

      • Cybersnark
        Cybersnark
        November 6, 2013 at 6:15 am | #

        To be fair, he’s the only one who tried.

        If only Picard had known it was that simple. . .

        • The Phantom's Belch
          The Phantom's Belch
          November 6, 2013 at 12:41 pm | #

          Picard had the problem of trying to convince said omnipotent being that “mankind has evolved”; Sisko didn’t. Personally, I blame Roddenberry’s influence over the early TNG for writing Picard into a corner that way, and the later writers couldn’t reverse that decision because both Stewart and DeLancy liked the on-screen chemistry/drama it created.

          Sisko went up big-time for me with that scene. 😉 (Mind, he was already pretty high up there…..)

          • Bill
            Bill
            November 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm | #

            I don’t Roddenberry was writing anyone into a corner.  Too many other shows (including the original ‘Star Trek’) called for an all-out battle to resolve a problem; Kirk himself was never reluctant to use the phasers or photon torpedoes.  The way Q outlined the problem — has mankind evolved beyond Neanderthal tendencies? — forces Picard to demonstrate superiority in ways other than “my gun’s bigger than yours”.

            I think whoever came up with the character of Q — Roddenberry? Some unsung staff writer? De Lancie himself? — created him in a stroke of genius.

  13. Aizat
    Aizat
    November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Wait, Blaine tried to sneak in? DOUBLE THE SECURITY, DIG UP THE MOAT AND FILLED IT WITH CROCODILE WITH LASERS AND MISSILES!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      What if they all cancel each other out.?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        They will not. I’m sure of it.

        • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
          Ahighfunctioningsociopath
          November 7, 2013 at 8:56 pm | #

          But what if they have a wheelbarrow and a holocaust cloak?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 6, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Wow Galasso also runs a security company now?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        November 6, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        IU’s security consists of hamsters wielding cannons. They are surprisingly effective.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      November 6, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      You forgot the landmines. Fortunately, so did Blaine.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 6, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        That way, when he tries to take amber away, he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. 😀

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

        Also machineguns. We need lots and lots of machineguns. Let see Blaine try to get past now.

    • Bill
      Bill
      November 6, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      Cool! You mean that I actually have frickin’ sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads?

    • John
      John
      November 6, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

      Drop him into this pit full of man-eating alligators and cows!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

        Why cows?

        • John
          John
          November 6, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

          Man-eating cows have a finely honed sense of right and wrong, for barnyard animals.

      • The Phantom's Belch
        The Phantom's Belch
        November 6, 2013 at 12:42 pm | #

        Drop him into the PIT OF DESPAIR!

        Along with TEN THOUSAND DIRE CHICKENS!

  14. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 6, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    I am upset at you that none of you have drawn attention to the phrase “We can tag team her”.
    I expected less of you guys!
    Where’d all this morality come from!?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 6, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Makes sense, Billie wanted herself and Ruth to neg Amber so she would be more receptive to their lustful advances.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        November 6, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

        Neg? More like peg.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 6, 2013 at 4:30 am | #

          When lesbians follow “The Rules”, successful negging will lead to pegging.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            November 6, 2013 at 8:36 am | #

            Nah, it just leads to women being assholes and getting nothing done.

    • Yusaku777
      Yusaku777
      November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      http://yusaku777.tumblr.com/post/66162956135/really-i-think-we-all-stopped-reading-at-that I’ve been waiting for Willis to reblog this, personally.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 6, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        NIIIICE! ^_^

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

        The best.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      You win all the internets.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      November 7, 2013 at 3:18 pm | #

      Too obvious, that is for beginners. We only go for the subtle stuff.

  15. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    November 6, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Such a fitting title, “Well past”. Kinda reminds me of how you’re WELL PAST teasing us with this Ruth/Billie ship, Willis! I can literally see the figurative champagne bottle in your hand, poised to break it over the bow. But it’s been like that for AGES.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

      You could say…
      Dumbing…of Ages.

      • GoogerGeiger
        GoogerGeiger
        November 6, 2013 at 10:10 pm | #

        Numbing of Ages.

  16. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    November 6, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Sadly, this of course validates Amber’s fears of getting unwanted attention because of her dad.

    It’s going to get harder and harder for her to hide being Amazi-Girl the more socially active she becomes. I’m honestly surprised Dorothy hasn’t figured it out yet- I can only assume she’s too busy.

    • Kladeos
      Kladeos
      November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Well, if it’s just Ruth telling her about the security issue it wouldn’t be a big deal. Billie’s idea – not so great.

    • Sammie1053
      Sammie1053
      November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Less sadly, it also validates Ethan’s theory about other girls being sympathetic towards her.

  17. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    November 6, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Wait, who are they talking about again?

    I got distracted by Billie’s awesome curves :3

  18. Aizat
    Aizat
    November 6, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    You know, I do have something against tsunderes….but this is the only exception.

    • The Phantom's Belch
      The Phantom's Belch
      November 6, 2013 at 12:49 pm | #

      Okay, what the hell is “tsunder”? I keep seeing the term, but never get an explanation.

      (Of course, if it’s a Japanese otaku loan-word like “yaoi” and “futanari”, that’s probably why I don’t follow it. “Gay sex” and “hermaphrodite” are long-time English; we didn’t even have manga when I was in high school, nor English-subtitled Japanese-audio anime….)

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        November 6, 2013 at 1:04 pm | #

        A women who is constantly moody, and can’t admit her love for someone. It comes from anime.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          November 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm | #

          Nah, guys can be tsundere.

      • Kladeos
        Kladeos
        November 6, 2013 at 1:05 pm | #

        It is a Japanese word, meaning someone who acts both hot and cold.

      • anifreik
        anifreik
        November 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm | #

        It is a japanese word derived from “tsun” meaning to be cold or hard and “dere” meaning to be soft or warm. So it refers to a person, usually female, who presents a hard face to the world, but is actually soft hearted.

  19. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    November 6, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    …tagteam her, huh? Hmm.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Oh, come on! All it means that they fight….on second thought, pass the popcorn.

  20. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    November 6, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Come clean Billie!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 6, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      I’m in, but how shall we do it? I mean, are we talking a sponge bath deal here, or just grab the firehose from the hall and get it over with quickly?

      • All Else Fails
        All Else Fails
        November 6, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        We’ll do it ‘bad Gary’ style.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 6, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

          No…we’ll do it “The Krusty Plate” style.

  21. newllend
    newllend
    November 6, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    Looking for amber at night is probably not the best time to try find her, or is it?

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      November 6, 2013 at 7:19 am | #

      Oh I think it is. He might eventually disagree, but by then I wouldn’t really care. The only question is how would Willis draw Blaine as a finely ground paste?

      • Leah Rockshard
        Leah Rockshard
        November 8, 2013 at 12:00 am | #

        @Jack Finch – Every time you post something I hear it in the voice of a slightly posh 12-year-old English schoolboy.

        I do not have a problem with this. Just informing you.

  22. Leorale
    Leorale
    November 6, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    Even Ruth can’t look badass in overall shorts.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 6, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

      Shorts kinda ruin authority. It’s why Laharl switched to long pants in the latest Disgaea game. He’s trying to get people to take him seriously as Overlord.

      Of course, Etna switched to shorts. Maybe it’s pants > shorts > miniskirt on the respectability chart? Where does that leave Flonne’s one-piece?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

        But shorts are comfortable and easy to wear.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          November 6, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

          If you’re a Youngster, sure, but all Cooltrainers wear pants. At least, the male ones do.

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        November 6, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

        You have successfully reminded me of the copy of Disgaea I lost very recently. With sets of 3000-ish level characters (about 6,000 levels stored, iirc) and max-slot copies of most of the ultimate weapons.

        I am now incredibly sad.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          November 6, 2013 at 5:05 am | #

          Unless you’re playing the DS version, your data should save on the console or memory stick…

          Ugh I still need to finish up Disgaea 1. I started and competed 2 partway through and it’s really emphasizing the flaws in the original with how exp is distributed with healers and whatnot.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            November 6, 2013 at 8:11 am | #

            Yeah, I have that problem. I love all the games, but whenever I go back to the old ones I’m like “Argh! How did I ever play this without Evilities/Monster Mounting/Skippable fight animations?!”

            • Kladeos
              Kladeos
              November 6, 2013 at 1:08 pm | #

              Well now I understand smarter ways of levelling up (Item World!) so at least I don’t have to slog through lower levels trying to grind new characters. Laharl kinda makes up for it too. He’s great.

              • Kladeos
                Kladeos
                November 6, 2013 at 1:09 pm | #

                It’s worse going from Valkyria Chronicles II to the original because I miss my armoured techs so much… I guess snipers almost make up for it.

  23. Aizat
    Aizat
    November 6, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    BTW, kind of a dick move, Billie. Yes, Blaine did visit but only to act like a dick. Heck, Blaine is much bigger dick than Gendo…and that’s saying something.

    • Leah Rockshard
      Leah Rockshard
      November 8, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

      Enough with the dick-measuring! A dick is a dick, gentlemen!

  24. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 6, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    I’m helping.

  25. Belades
    Belades
    November 6, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

    Billy’s comment is a bit unnerving considering the Walkyverse.

  26. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    November 6, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

    And then they had an epic snogging. The End.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

      Better than an Epic flogging.
      but only barely.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

        Or an epic clogging.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 6, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

          Super Toilet…why…

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          November 6, 2013 at 6:21 pm | #

          Ruth’s Canadian, for epic logging.

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            November 6, 2013 at 11:25 pm | #

            and if we don’t stop their rule, there will be epic sogging

  27. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 6, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

    Hey errybody! I’m planning on doing 1 or 2 pinups for Willis’ Pinup week.
    Who would you like to see?
    (I am merely testing the waters. If I don’t choose the one you want don’t be upset).

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

      Anything with Billie is find by me. Heck, do double Billies.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

        Aizat just scored like…20 Yoto points.

        • Vim-Hogar
          Vim-Hogar
          November 6, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

          So how many points do I get for suggesting Yotomoe + Billie?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 6, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

            0.
            Yotomoe is fat and ugly and doesn’t like drawing himself and maybe has body image issues.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          November 6, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

          How about Billie reading a Billie magazine with cheerleading tips from Billie?

      • TGS
        TGS
        November 6, 2013 at 8:27 am | #

        Is that a euphamism gor her bewbs?

        By the way, as a sign of modern language and internet influence, “bewbs” comes up as a valid autocorrect option. Make of that what you will.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      November 6, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      Billie

    • Pinja
      Pinja
      November 6, 2013 at 2:20 am | #

      Billie x Ruth

    • Varangian
      Varangian
      November 6, 2013 at 3:14 am | #

      Danny.

      …or Amber. I suppose.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      November 6, 2013 at 7:20 am | #

      Sierra dominatrix. So let it be written. So let it be done.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 8:05 am | #

        You had me at Sierra.
        And lost me at Dominatrix…

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          November 6, 2013 at 6:09 pm | #

          Maybe a nice Bettie Page look?

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      November 6, 2013 at 8:39 am | #

      Do dominatrix Joyce. Don’t care who’s with her.

      • Tristan B.
        Tristan B.
        November 6, 2013 at 9:03 am | #

        I find myself allured and repulsed.Yayrgh!

    • Bill
      Bill
      November 6, 2013 at 12:36 pm | #

      Sal and Jason (the math TA) in post-coital cooldown.  Would Jason have had time to remove his tie?

      Or Joe and Roz done as if it were a montage of frame grabs from the video that got leaked.

    • The Phantom's Belch
      The Phantom's Belch
      November 6, 2013 at 12:53 pm | #

      Jocelyn…

      Also, what’s her name?, at the mail desk…

      • John
        John
        November 6, 2013 at 1:45 pm | #

        Asma.

        I only know because I read the tags. Her name has never actually been mentioned in the strip.

  28. TaintedSpud
    TaintedSpud
    November 6, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    Since when is past noon not considered morning?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

      Since the conceptualization of the measurement of time.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      November 6, 2013 at 2:14 am | #

      Since a majority of people wake up before noon.

      • Kathleen
        Kathleen
        November 6, 2013 at 4:37 am | #

        Who are these people and what the hell were they thinking?

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          November 6, 2013 at 9:16 am | #

          “Gee, I sure hope I get to work on time so I can afford to pay for things.”

        • Narf
          Narf
          November 7, 2013 at 11:37 am | #

          “Time to go eat breakfast?”

  29. Fuzzydaemon
    Fuzzydaemon
    November 6, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

    Blaine REALLY wants revenge, the bastard. I hope he doesn’t try to nail her when she is out of the dorm.

    Blaine is the most dangerous of all the terrible parents.

  30. Aizat
    Aizat
    November 6, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

    Billie offers a “unique” sort of help, huh? Do tell.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 6, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

      I have a particular set of skills.
      I will find you…and I will drink you.
      (Billie, talking to her beers.)

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        November 6, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        Billie: The Beer Whisperer.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 6, 2013 at 6:00 pm | #

          It always tells her the same thing, “I want to get inside you”.

          • norj
            norj
            November 6, 2013 at 7:24 pm | #

            Ruth wants the same thing.

            • MR K
              MR K
              November 6, 2013 at 7:50 pm | #

              As does Joyce, and hopefully Dina.

  31. Vim-Hogar
    Vim-Hogar
    November 6, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

    So apparently Amber didn’t get her nighttime sneaking abilities from her father. That, or Blaine should’ve had a supervillain costume. Maybe with a big T, for “Terri-Dad”!

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      November 6, 2013 at 7:55 pm | #

      Terribl-Aine.

      • Vim-Hogar
        Vim-Hogar
        November 7, 2013 at 2:08 am | #

        Perfect

  32. Spliced
    Spliced
    November 6, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

    wasn’t Amazi-girl out last night? Maybe she’ll already know an it won’t be so bad?

    Wait how did they catch her dad but not Amazi-girl herself??? How bumbling is this guy?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      He fell into the Burmese Tiger Trap…filled with mutant cyborg tigers.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 6, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        He stepped into a rake. He stumbled backwards into a rake. This continued on for 20 minutes before campus security spotted him.

        • John
          John
          November 6, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

          Eh, it’s funnier when Batman does it.

          • Spliced
            Spliced
            November 6, 2013 at 2:29 am | #

            What isn’t funnier when Batman does it?

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              November 6, 2013 at 6:11 am | #

              I tried to think what’s not funny when Batman does it and I came up with 40. One of which being Batman with a bucket on his head.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                November 6, 2013 at 7:18 am | #

                You’re sorely mistaken because that’s hilarious.

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  November 6, 2013 at 9:15 am | #

                  Well, yeah. It’s not funny…it’s hilarious!

            • John
              John
              November 6, 2013 at 1:52 pm | #

              Anything that’s super-serious. For super-serious stuff, you need to have a goofy character to do it. Otherwise it doesn’t violate expectations.

              Batman beating up muggers isn’t funny. Daffy Duck beating up muggers is funny.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 6, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

          What, like Jon Arbuckle?

    • John
      John
      November 6, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

      Amazi-Girl is just that amazing.

  33. fatso
    fatso
    November 6, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

    Anyone else stop reading and blink a couple times after reading the first thing said in the last panel? I really couldn’t think of a way she could say that without meaning something sexual. Even in context it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Many better ways she could have said that.

    • John
      John
      November 6, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

      You have a funny definition of “better”.

      • fatso
        fatso
        November 6, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

        Lol took me a sec to get that. Very true!

  34. Varangian
    Varangian
    November 6, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

    Oh Billie. Your heart is in the right place, but your brain is in the bottle you lied about not drinking.

  35. Tahkuya
    Tahkuya
    November 6, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

    I enjoy the light humor thats being tossed around while all the shit that has hit the fan is in need of cleaning

  36. JustcallmeSoul
    JustcallmeSoul
    November 6, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

    … why am i the only one that had an issue with “we’ll tag team her”…

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      November 6, 2013 at 3:26 am | #

      Well, if you’d read anything else on the page, you’d realize that your premise is faulty.

      • fatso
        fatso
        November 6, 2013 at 4:06 am | #

        How so? That’s how I read it too at first. Who says let’s tagteam someone and is referencing telling somebody something? If they had been thinking of talking to her separately first the tagteam idea would make more sense.

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          November 6, 2013 at 4:56 am | #

          *pinches bridge of nose*

          No.

          They are asking why they were the “only one who had an issue” with the phrasing, when like half a dozen people on this page have the same dirty mind. People who “had an issue” with the phrasing are everywhere. They’re impossible to miss. Seriously, read up like FIVE POSTS. FIVE WHOLE POSTS. SOMEONE ELSE WITH THE SAME CONCERN.

          AND IT’S YOU.

          • fatso
            fatso
            November 6, 2013 at 5:04 am | #

            lol yes I am aware that’s me. (just realized you’re the creator though 😛 Love your work)I didn’t think you meant me on the first post. My mistake.

            I get the feeling that you intended that line as such now since you know better than most how little it takes for people to think dirty things on the interwebs 🙂

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            November 6, 2013 at 3:15 pm | #

            Your frustration is kind of beautiful, Willis

            • Leorale
              Leorale
              November 6, 2013 at 6:25 pm | #

              Could it be that the ‘Damn You Willis’ is mutual??

              • Kernanator
                Kernanator
                November 6, 2013 at 10:34 pm | #

                Does Willis say “Damn you Readers”?

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  November 6, 2013 at 11:27 pm | #

                  Do robots dream of electric sheep?

    • Bill
      Bill
      November 6, 2013 at 4:23 am | #

      Why does everybody on this board seem to think that “tag-teaming” always has to refer to doing the nasty?

      • Gill
        Gill
        November 6, 2013 at 4:31 am | #

        It doesn’t have to but they weren’t talking about doing anything by themselves so I’m not sure where that line is coming from. Not that it isn’t obvious in context after finishing.

      • recharge138@gmail.com
        recharge138@gmail.com
        November 6, 2013 at 5:21 am | #

        Not everyone. Posters above referenced Chris Jericho and Dean Malenko, who were also a tag team.

        Were it a sexual one, an armbar would be involved somewhere.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 6, 2013 at 6:22 am | #

          Number 399: ARMBAR.

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            November 6, 2013 at 8:59 am | #

            Big Show, Edge, The Undertaker (who I beat twice, might I add)

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        November 6, 2013 at 7:22 am | #

        Maybe we’re just optimists.

      • TGS
        TGS
        November 6, 2013 at 8:20 am | #

        Its called subtext. Layers of meaning. Dare I say depth of writing. When the author is able to convey multiple meanings and insinuations with a phrase that might have more implications than the characters who said/heard the actual words might realize at that moment. I give Willis all the credit in the world. OBVIOUSLY neither Billie or Ruth are thinking conciously about sexy times. But that doesn’t mean Willis can’t throw in a little literary easter egg for us pervy readers.

        • dropded
          dropded
          November 6, 2013 at 11:08 am | #

          …or maybe it’s just a common turn of phrase for when two people tackle and unpleasant task together. Or a cigar.

      • PoweredBySucrose
        PoweredBySucrose
        November 6, 2013 at 3:20 pm | #

        I am quite certain that Billie meant that she and Ruth should sing early-’90s rap to make Amber feel better.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        November 7, 2013 at 3:25 pm | #

        If there are different ways to interpret a phrase, I will always go with the dirty one, it is funnier that way.

  37. Evil Midnight Lurker
    Evil Midnight Lurker
    November 6, 2013 at 3:26 am | #

    He tried to… sneak in…?

    Okay, her dad isn’t just an asshole, he’s *pathological.* That is a really bad sign.

  38. Bill
    Bill
    November 6, 2013 at 3:41 am | #

    I used to work for the security department at a division-3 school in Wisconsin as a dispatched/clerical support person.  The actual officers on patrol were in fact sworn law officers with full arrest powers, were authorized to carry weapons, and were considered to be on a par with a regular State Patrol officer.  In our case, anyway, should Blaine or anyone else been found in a University building or on campus after having been ordered to leave, he would have been “roughed, cuffed, and stuffed”, and be the County Jail overnight waiting to see a judge on Monday.

    • recharge138@gmail.com
      recharge138@gmail.com
      November 6, 2013 at 5:23 am | #

      The campus security probably have relative powers of authority (IE, relative to the plot).

    • Badtux
      Badtux
      November 6, 2013 at 8:41 pm | #

      Blaine had been asked to leave by the RA, not by the campus police, and left upon being asked to do so. So the campus police would not have known that he had previously been asked to leave. In this case they would have taken him to the station, gotten his details, found out that he wasn’t a student and had no business on campus and given him a warning that if he got caught on campus again he’d get the full criminal trespassing treatment then cut him loose. Less paperwork that way, but his details would still be on file and the next time they caught him on campus he’d get the full treatment described.

  39. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    November 6, 2013 at 5:37 am | #

    SHIP

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 6:25 am | #

      BATTLE

      • CthulhuPanda36
        CthulhuPanda36
        November 6, 2013 at 7:53 am | #

        IN SPACE

        • TGS
          TGS
          November 6, 2013 at 8:05 am | #

          SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

          • Tristan B.
            Tristan B.
            November 6, 2013 at 9:00 am | #

            READY……. AIM………..

            • AeroQC
              AeroQC
              November 6, 2013 at 10:15 am | #

              IMA FIRIN’ MA LAZA!!!!

  40. nothri
    nothri
    November 6, 2013 at 6:30 am | #

    Ruth, please. Haven’t we gotten beyond you punching each other by now?

    Now, spankings. Spankings I could get behind.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 6, 2013 at 7:11 am | #

      No, no. There are stages of punching that they haven’t gone through yet. Heck, no noogies? What the hell?

    • TGS
      TGS
      November 6, 2013 at 8:11 am | #

      I think technically EVERY spanking means you “got behind”.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      November 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm | #

      Well, yea, from behind is usually how they work.

  41. Pinja
    Pinja
    November 6, 2013 at 8:13 am | #

    Urgh, please hold hands or something already!

  42. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    November 6, 2013 at 8:13 am | #

    Blaine is a pain.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      November 6, 2013 at 4:16 pm | #

      In the membrane.

      • MR K
        MR K
        November 6, 2013 at 7:50 pm | #

        He makes me insane.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          November 6, 2013 at 11:09 pm | #

          He needs to get on a train.

          • MR K
            MR K
            November 6, 2013 at 11:55 pm | #

            And go to Spain.
            Where he’ll be shot in the brain.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              November 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm | #

              While standing on the plain.

  43. Katy
    Katy
    November 6, 2013 at 8:28 am | #

    “detoxing” from alcohol on your own can be deadly. Heroin detox can’t kill you but alcohol can. Seizures and worse require alcoholics to get medical help to stop drinking. Just stopping isn’t uncomfortable it’s deadly

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      November 7, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Huh. I didn’t know that. Scary.

  44. MrSpkr
    MrSpkr
    November 6, 2013 at 9:40 am | #

    So Ruth and Billie are gonna tag team Amber.

    I’m up for watching that.

  45. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    November 6, 2013 at 10:11 am | #

    Like I said once, Billie still has a ways to go before she’s ready to handle the Ruth.

  46. Synnerman
    Synnerman
    November 6, 2013 at 10:28 am | #

    I hope that Amber’s Dad runs into Batman/Amazi-Girl.

    That’s going to be brutal.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      November 6, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

      that would be terrible, it would give him blackmail material on her. the last thing amber needs is for her dad to have any kind of power over her, especially as regards her coping mechanism.

  47. Mr K
    Mr K
    November 6, 2013 at 11:23 am | #

    I’d love to see Billie try to cheer up everyone.¨Okay, so your parents don’t give you much attention Sal, but at least they’re not Nazis¨.

    • Maycroft
      Maycroft
      November 6, 2013 at 3:11 pm | #

      But how can you be sure? 😉

      • John
        John
        November 6, 2013 at 3:22 pm | #

        You know who else might have been maybe part Nazi? Sal’s parents!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 6, 2013 at 5:56 pm | #

          Black Nazis… what a twist!

  48. Reepicheep-chan
    Reepicheep-chan
    November 6, 2013 at 5:08 pm | #

    I just now realized Ruth is wearing those goofy overall shorts.

    • ajm5007
      ajm5007
      November 6, 2013 at 10:00 pm | #

      At first, I thought Billia was wearing thigh-high black patent leather boots over jeans, then I realized it is much more plausibly black tights UNDER jean SHORTS.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        November 6, 2013 at 11:28 pm | #

        Either way she is dressed like a silly person. What the heck, those two.

  49. zanzerthewizard
    zanzerthewizard
    November 6, 2013 at 9:46 pm | #

    Wow I finally caught up

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today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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where's my hour loop of Vader fist-dancing
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
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ryannorth.ca's user avatar
Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 1d
hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
the cover of FF #1 featuring some beautiful art of said Fantastic Four
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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osmote.net's user avatar
OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 2d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 2d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
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theonion.com's user avatar
The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 2d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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catacalypto.bsky.social's user avatar
Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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