Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Joyce stories

by David M Willis on August 5, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit
└ Tags: jacob, sarah

Discussion (121) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Liahansen
    Liahansen
    August 5, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Sarah really needs more friends that she can rant about

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      If only she was also friends with Billie, oh the stories she could tell…

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        August 5, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        She needs to hang out with Mary. She’ll be able to dish about her fundie habits, but not feel like she’s being unnecessarily mean, because Mary deserves it.

        If she manages not to kill her, that is. Though Mary might be quite pleased to meet the Old Testament God, so maybe they’d get along.

        • Mal
          Mal
          August 5, 2014 at 12:09 pm | #

          I, for one, think you’re being unnecessarily mean to Mary.

          • TDangerously
            TDangerously
            August 5, 2014 at 4:43 pm | #

            You would.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      August 5, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “So, you know anyone named Raidah?”

  2. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    August 5, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Jacob is the man right now!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      I just hope he isn’t just a man in a can.

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 5, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Sarah needs a new topic.

    • newllend
      newllend
      August 5, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Ok , hey Sarah is it true that your surrounded by stupid people that hate because you were the only person brave enough to reach out and help someone?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 5, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        I would have prefered something less negative but you work with the cards you are dealt.

  4. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    August 5, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    mfrmgmfmfffl mfmfskfmfafffpfl
    For people who can’t read the text.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      August 5, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      You actually went the extra mile of typing it to the exact letter… I can admire that.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        August 5, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        p sure there’s View Source tho

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        August 5, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Or he could have just right-clicked the image, chose “View Image Info” and copy+pasted the “Associated text” field: mfrmgmfmfffl mfmfskfmfafffpfl

        😀 (but if he *did* type it all, then damn! mad props)

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          August 5, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

          Actually I just had a mouse over the alt-text, then typed. I did well in typing classes.
          I can type and talk without writing what I say.

          • Daibhid C
            Daibhid C
            August 5, 2014 at 10:14 am | #

            Anyone can yes a cup of tea thanks do that!

          • Rachel Roth
            Rachel Roth
            August 5, 2014 at 11:34 am | #

            But the true question is, can you type and listen without getting your words jumbled?

            • Mr. Random
              Mr. Random
              August 5, 2014 at 12:27 pm | #

              No comment.

              • Rachel Roth
                Rachel Roth
                August 5, 2014 at 1:40 pm | #

                How did you change your gravitar without setting a global one?

                • gwalla
                  gwalla
                  August 5, 2014 at 2:15 pm | #

                  It’s actually based on the email field, as I found out when I mistyped my email once.

  5. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    August 5, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    She’s feeling mumbly.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      August 5, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      One step up from dastardly.

      • Originalslugboy
        Originalslugboy
        August 5, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

        Points!

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      August 5, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      I know Muttley, but who is Mumbly?

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        August 5, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

        You may know him as Mr. Pegs.

  6. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    August 5, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    To be fair, inaudible grumbling is an emotion.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 5, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Specifically it’s the emotion I feel until about 10 am every workday.

  7. nothri
    nothri
    August 5, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Go Sarah! You can do it!

  8. Allison
    Allison
    August 5, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Are we sure Jacob isn’t gay? He seems too perfect to be real. When do we discover his dirty secrets?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Not all perfect men are gay, some of them are just plain fabulous.

    • The_Master
      The_Master
      August 5, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Not all thoughtful guys are gay.

      • Scott
        Scott
        August 5, 2014 at 6:32 am | #

        I happen to be both straight and delightful.

        • Sambo
          Sambo
          August 5, 2014 at 1:23 pm | #

          You said it, Jacob

      • nothri
        nothri
        August 5, 2014 at 3:06 pm | #

        NOT ALL MEN!

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      August 5, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      He’s the love-child of RuPaul and George Takei

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 5, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        OH MY, what a drag! 😛

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          August 5, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

          And FAB-u-LOUUUUsss…

    • Freezer
      Freezer
      August 5, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      If he retains any of his Shortpacked flaws, he’s FAR from perfect!

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        August 5, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        Technically he may be young enough here that his Shortpacked! incarnation, at this age, might not have had those flaws either – or at least, he might not have discovered them yet.

    • Nono
      Nono
      August 5, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Ethan’s gay, he’s certainly not perfect.

      He’s also not real, mind.

  9. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    August 5, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Is it weird that in my head Jacob has Aqualad’s voice from “Young Justice”?
    Khary Payton, he also did Cyborg on “Teen Titans”.

    • Boomwolf97
      Boomwolf97
      August 5, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      well now I’m thinkin it too, so it can’t be that weird.

    • Dimonite
      Dimonite
      August 5, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I hear John Stewart from Justice League Unlimited, so I’m going to go with “no, that’s not weird at all.”

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      August 5, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      Not weird but I was hearing his Cyborg voice…

  10. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    August 5, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Sarah just out and say it. “I SAVED HER ASS AND SHE CALLED ME BIG SIS WHILE SHE WAS PASSED OUT!”

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      August 5, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      He’ll want to know what Sarah saved her from, and “Oh, she was roofied by some guy who intended to rape her,” is not something you can just go around telling people. That’s something only Joyce can share with people, when and if she feels comfortable doing it.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 5, 2014 at 6:54 am | #

        Plus then it makes all the little silly stories much less funny.

      • Emperor Kiva
        Emperor Kiva
        August 5, 2014 at 5:09 pm | #

        Good point, my bad.

  11. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    August 5, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh shit Jacob, run, she’s about to cast a spell on you. The kind that doesn’t allow saving throws.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      *mumbles* Darkness from twilight, crimson from blood that flows, buried in the flow of time…

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        August 5, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

        …in thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness. Let all the fools who stand in our way be destroyed by the power you and I possess…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 5, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

          DRAGON SLAAAAAAAVE!

          • nothri
            nothri
            August 5, 2014 at 3:08 pm | #

            I’ll see your Dragon Slave, and raise you one Giga Slave.

            • t00lishness
              t00lishness
              August 5, 2014 at 10:55 pm | #

              This in particular wins all the internets.

    • drs
      drs
      August 5, 2014 at 5:55 am | #

      “Approach from beyond, mistletoe branches…”

    • Phlebas
      Phlebas
      August 5, 2014 at 6:26 am | #

      I rather get the impression she already has.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      August 5, 2014 at 12:22 pm | #

      She’s just casting Dispel – she’s gotta get rid of the Charm spell Jacob’s cast on her…

  12. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    August 5, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    She opens up less than a clam who’s also a secret agent.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Secret agent clam, secret agent clam, they’ve given you a number and taken away your name…

      • Paul
        Paul
        August 5, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

        For some reason I always hear that song as “sacred asian clam”.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        August 5, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

        Ninety-nine, I love you…

    • Boomwolf97
      Boomwolf97
      August 5, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      and enter the family guy styled cutaway.

  13. newllend
    newllend
    August 5, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    A lot of people can be blamed for what happened that day but in the end it was nobody’s fault really, the worlds a fucked up place and sometimes shit will happen beyond your control, the best thing to do is just endure it.

    • Safgaftsa
      Safgaftsa
      August 5, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Um, no, it was definitely Ryan’s fault. He made the conscious decision to do what he did, and no background or upbringing can justify that. The bubble of thoughts that we are shown indicates quite clearly that he knew what he was doing.

      • newllend
        newllend
        August 5, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        Oh no he doesn’t apply to this, he deserves way more than what ever punishment that’s coming to him.

        • Safgaftsa
          Safgaftsa
          August 5, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          Thanks for the clarification. I think Ryan still applies to this discussion, but I understand your intentions. Please just be careful what you imply.

      • Carriethedragon
        Carriethedragon
        August 5, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        I don’t think that newllend meant what he said to apply to Ryan, just everyone else (like Amazi-girl, Sal, and anyone else who may have made questionable decisions). Of course, if he WAS including Ryan, damn, dude, that’s so wrong.

    • Aolbain
      Aolbain
      August 5, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      I blame rapist-guy.

  14. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    August 5, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Sarah: “Have you heard of our dark lord, Cthullu? Here, take some Mrmlgh Tracts.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 5, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Are you by any chance refering to this?
      http://jackchick.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/chick-parody-who-will-be-eaten-first/

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        August 5, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

        And that was time I will never get back, thank you. I clicked “home” at the top of that link…

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 5, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

        ARE NO IDEAS NOVEL!?!?!

        No, I didn’t know about that, but it’s pretty much what I was imagining.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          August 5, 2014 at 12:23 pm | #

          Not on the Internets. You quickly learn not to worry about it.

  15. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    August 5, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Jacob might be a good thing for Sarah, outside of him being a handsome fellow.

    • Aolbain
      Aolbain
      August 5, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Of course you would say that…

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        August 5, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

        I’d say that, too! 😀

        • Rachel Roth
          Rachel Roth
          August 5, 2014 at 11:43 am | #

          Good, now that all parties involved have agreed, let’s watch dailybrad get you to open up.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      August 5, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

      I’m sure she would agree that it would be a good thing, Sarah outside of him. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

      • Koms
        Koms
        August 5, 2014 at 6:06 am | #

        Oh my God!! Gravatar win!!! 🙂

  16. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    August 5, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Sarah’s guilt face gets me. All the faces get me actually.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      August 5, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Heartstring-tugging-wise, that is.

  17. newllend
    newllend
    August 5, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    I think any story would upset her.

  18. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    August 5, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    She’s speaking murloc!

    Mmmrrrggglll!!!

    • Mass Confusion
      Mass Confusion
      August 5, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

      Rglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrglrgl!

    • Rhastia
      Rhastia
      August 5, 2014 at 10:00 am | #

      It’s a murloc with a mouthful of biscuits.

  19. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    August 5, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

    Point – Jacob.

  20. andmangrewproud
    andmangrewproud
    August 5, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

    I don’t know why it’s hitting me now, but I’m suddenly hearing Phil LaMarr (doing Wilt’s voice from Fosters) as Jacob.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      August 5, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

      I always imagined something huskier, but damn that would be a good choice.

    • StClair
      StClair
      August 5, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

      Well, we’ve got him doing John Stewart above, so…

      • andmangrewproud
        andmangrewproud
        August 5, 2014 at 11:36 pm | #

        Yeah I saw that AFTER I posted this. So basically we all agree Phil LaMarr does his voice, just not which voice he uses lol

  21. Nono
    Nono
    August 5, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

    Mildly angry Jacob’s face is… fascinating.

  22. Locke
    Locke
    August 5, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

    I feel pretty Incoherent Squiggles myself, Sarah! You’re not alone, there!

  23. saltchocolate
    saltchocolate
    August 5, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

    I’m glad Sarah showed that she knows it’s not cool to poke fun at Joyce all the time. Partly because the doubters (in Sarah’s deep-down good-heartedness) can stop already, and partly because now the relationship with Jacob can grow! Yes, Sarah, he really likes you!

    • whatho
      whatho
      August 5, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      Yes! Yes! Everything you just said!

    • Fit-to-freak
      Fit-to-freak
      August 5, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

      Yeah, honestly I’m psyched. This everything I wanted.

    • butting
      butting
      August 5, 2014 at 5:12 am | #

      I have no comment, I just needed a full house.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      August 5, 2014 at 8:39 am | #

      Not quite, you’ve got three of a kind. You need two more of someone else to make a full house. Another Roz oughta do it…

      • Kelli
        Kelli
        August 5, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

        You rang?

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        August 6, 2014 at 2:35 pm | #

        Combo-breaker??

  24. Hyperstar96
    Hyperstar96
    August 5, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

    Why do a lot of people – both in the comments and especially in the Dumbiverse – hate Joyce so much anyway?

    • drs
      drs
      August 5, 2014 at 5:53 am | #

      “If you’re happy and you know it, drop dead and die!”

    • Sam
      Sam
      August 5, 2014 at 9:22 am | #

      ‘Hate’ Joyce? I’ve seen a FEW people DISLIKE Joyce but not many outright hate her. In the Dumbiverse, it is only really Joe (as Walky is debatable) that outright doesn’t like her much (still talks to her though) and Amber that hates her (for telling Ethan his sexuality is a mistake when she spent the entire Summer saying otherwise to likely him AND others).

      There are plenty of reasons to dislike her – this entire thing of ‘I can fix Ethan’, the pushiness she has with her religion sometimes, the fact she is able to make DINA mad, the fact she saw nothing wrong with letting Mike punch Joe in the face repeatedly for having even the SLIGHTEST lustful thought even though he clearly saw a problem with it and prevented Mike from doing it to her.

      She is getting better with time, as she sees that some of her views aren’t perfect, but she still has a long way to go.

      I personally like her, but I can see why others wouldn’t like her right now – she still has lots of personal growing to do.

      • Hyperstar96
        Hyperstar96
        August 5, 2014 at 10:25 am | #

        – Ethan is the one who said he doesn’t want to be gay. Joyce is simply helping him achieve his goal. Besides, Ethan’s happy and Joyce isn’t forcing anything onto him.
        – How is it bad that one person is pushy about their religion when everyone else is pushy against it?
        – Dina should learn that not everyone is obsessed with dinosaurs.
        – Have you seen how much of a pervert Joe is? That particular date may not have been as bad in comparison, but he had it coming. As for preventing Mike from hitting Joyce, any guy with a heart would prevent another guy from beating a girl he barely knew.

        • Rachel Roth
          Rachel Roth
          August 5, 2014 at 12:09 pm | #

          Take this from a more functional, real world version of Dina; PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED. Very few things seem to be able to make Dina angry, the complete disregard of scientifically supported data and Faz. (Faz, is of course, the top of the list and wrapped in Amber’s Grappling Hook, which Amber probably considers an acceptable way to loose a grappling hook.
          Dina KNOWS not everyone else is into dinosaurs, but that’s her niche and that’s perfectly acceptable for someone like her. There are plenty of opportunities for someone with her interest and deep knowledge, and it’s not like she’s unintelligent with the rest of her life, or that she doesn’t know anything that isn’t related to dinosaurs, just that the information she finds interesting usually has to do with extinct species (with feathers).

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          August 5, 2014 at 3:32 pm | #

          – Joyce’s motivations regarding Ethan are far from noble, and even if we accept that she had no hand in pushing him toward the current awful situation, she’s still an enabler and is justly criticized for her role in it.
          – Joyce religion has flirted with being hate speech, and is extremely hostile to almost any other lifestyle or belief system. It’s true that Joyce herself would like to go down a less evil path, but her religion is still a cancer that she has to actively fight against to relate to most of her friends and her own sexuality.
          – Dina’s problem with Joyce wasn’t that Joyce wasn’t into dinosaurs. It’s that Joyce was spouting antifactual garbage, of the sort that has stood in the way of knowledge and scientific progress since, well, ever. We’ve seen no indication that Dina has any problem with Joyce when Joyce isn’t trying to rewind science.
          – Joe may be a pervert, and his intentions toward Joyce weren’t particularly noble either. But Joyce sicced Mike on him when he hadn’t done anything. It could have been Jacob instead of Joe and she would still have viciously attacked, because she’d basically gone psycho on him without reason. In all honesty both she and Mike should have gone to court for that.

          This is not to say that Joyce is evil or irredeemable, but she’s definitely not without flaws either. It’s understandable why people would lose sympathy for her at times.

      • Emperor Kiva
        Emperor Kiva
        August 6, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

        While I didn’t read that through I’m saying this now. I DON’T HATE JOYCE, I like her. If you hate her well……..Fuck you.

  25. Lawzlo
    Lawzlo
    August 5, 2014 at 1:21 am | #

    “Mxyzptlk is a person, not an emotion.”

    • Cheryl
      Cheryl
      August 5, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

      LOL!!^

  26. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    August 5, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

    Joyce is such a complete naïve child, that people who are trying to ‘grow up’ in college, may just have a hard time handling her.
    Plus her continual ref. to her religion is off putting to some. She has no problem letting them know that if they don’t believe her way, they are all going to Hell. Not exactly a way to win friends and influence people.

    But there is hope for her. She had a horrendous upbringing and she has flashes where she is trying to climb over the fence and into the real world.

    As for Sarah, she doesn’t trust people, period. She did what she felt was right, and turned the entire class against her. Some in particular were downright harassing. She want’s and education, is afraid of screwing up her schoalership, and keeps her nose to the grindstone.
    The only person she has a soft spot for is Joyce. Joyce aggrivates the Hell out of her, but she does try to protect her.
    Maybe because Joyce is the only person she knows at all, is the reason she made fun of her to Jacob..and she knew it was wrong then, but … Anyway she is stopping it now.

    Hope Jacob stays on her case. She needs a friend, BF or other wise.

    • Mass Confusion
      Mass Confusion
      August 5, 2014 at 4:49 am | #

      You and me both, brother/sister/robot side-kick/monkey of above-average intelligence/haunted Chia pet
      I like to cover all bases as not to offend

  27. Orangey
    Orangey
    August 5, 2014 at 2:16 am | #

    Man, I love that Jacob only went along with Joyce stories as its the only thing Sarah could comfortably talk about. He could’ve just as easily decided that he didn’t want to hang out/talk/be friends with Sarah but instead he just went along with whatever conversation he could just to be nice, n’aww.

  28. Bill
    Bill
    August 5, 2014 at 4:13 am | #

    And in panel three Sarah says, “Don’t ask me for any more Joyce stories.  It’s not fair to her”.

    Earlier, Sarah said to an unconscious Joyce, “…I might as well admit the reason I came after you is because I DO care — just a little.”

    Way to go, “big sister”.

  29. Robin
    Robin
    August 5, 2014 at 4:37 am | #

    Sarah’s speech in the last panel looks like Dotsies.

    • Bill
      Bill
      August 5, 2014 at 11:04 am | #

      Dotsies looks like the answer to a question no one asked.
      OTOH, it might make an interesting cipher/code.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        August 5, 2014 at 3:19 pm | #

        Dotsies looks like a font invented by people who have never heard of eye trouble, poor focus, or dirt or dead pixels.

    • John
      John
      August 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm | #

      It takes a special kind of special to reach the apparently-serious conclusion that visually distinct letters are for the benefit of the writer, and what the reader really needs is horizontal compactness.

  30. Angel
    Angel
    August 5, 2014 at 11:31 am | #

    In her defense, if I knew Joyce I’d be very concerned for her too, she’s like a little kid.

  31. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    August 5, 2014 at 10:50 pm | #

    Sarah: “Ph´nglui mglw´nafh Cthulhu R´lyeh wgah´nagl fhtagn!”

  32. BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    September 26, 2015 at 9:42 pm | #

    You know, I’m feeling pretty mmphbbpthmbmbl myself

  33. Hatch
    Hatch
    March 31, 2016 at 7:32 pm | #

    I think she said I’m feeling like a fucking lesbian right now

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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