Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Stomp

by David M Willis on December 15, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: carla, mary

Discussion (606) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 15, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    damn, indeed =o

    Mary, you know you could just fucking get earplugs

    or go to the damned library unlike my roommate who decided “It’s MY room, too!” meant I got to try to sleep through all the lights on and bad music blaring

    (lessons learned)

    • EdHead
      EdHead
      December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      I hope carla gets some teeth knocked out, simply so she can return the favor.

      • Inkblot
        Inkblot
        December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

        At this point, Mary’s being an ass as well as Carla– there are a handful of other ways to solve this situation without hurting someone.

        The suggestion that Mary should just get earplugs ignores a) that Carla really shouldn’t be skating in the dorms anyway, and b) that it’s quite rude to make noise in a dorm where your peers are trying to study.

        • Mattyos
          Mattyos
          December 15, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

          To be fair, Mary is always an ass. That’s part of why we hate her.

          • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
            MeghanTheDreamCrusher
            December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

            But I thought Willis loved butts?

            • Falling Star
              Falling Star
              December 15, 2015 at 7:58 am | #

              heh

          • Dana
            Dana
            December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

            Yet it’s why we love Carla. We will never fully unlock the mysteries of the universe, will we?

            • Clif
              Clif
              December 15, 2015 at 11:22 am | #

              The clues are Mike and 42.

            • Kintrex
              Kintrex
              December 15, 2015 at 1:50 pm | #

              Having never read Shortpacked, I have no reason yet to love Carla. I have plenty of reason to hate Mary from Roomies, but her closet nudism thing kind of won me over a little.

          • Thor
            Thor
            December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

            You might hate her, but I’m beginning to appreciate her more and more with each strip, and I suspect I’m not alone.

            • Rowen Morland
              Rowen Morland
              December 15, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

              She’s going to end up being the jerk she was in the last universe. Mary = designated villain. (probably, maybe)

              • angrybamboo
                angrybamboo
                December 15, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

                i’m sure there’s *something* redeemable about her. every character (mike excluded) has moments where they’re a jerk but then we see that there’s something human and relatable underneath. it doesn’t always make up for the jerky behavior, but it at least shows that no one (mike excluded) is 100% a cruel person.

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:26 am | #

                  Also Blaine.
                  (Ross is relatable because he has human emotions and wants his kid not to suffer eternal hellfire, but only for like half a second before he wrecks it with the most toxic possible actions, so I’m not sure whether he counts.)

                • Sarah
                  Sarah
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:18 am | #

                  Eh, Mike turned out fineish in Shortpacked!, I’m sure that he’ll be fineish at the very end of DOA too.

                • WeirderThanWeird
                  WeirderThanWeird
                  December 15, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

                  Mike’s not completely bad. He takes care of your mom, at least. 😛

              • WonderRabbit
                WonderRabbit
                December 15, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

                I think Willis’ characters are much more complex than ‘designated villain’. Designated antagonist, maybe, but in this particular story she could equally be seen as the protagonist as much as Carla is.

                She’s self-righteous, close-minded, and perhaps somewhat hypocritical (particularly if she’s saving what she knows about Ruth and Billie for blackmail purposes if needed), but I don’t think she’s been developed enough in-story yet to make such a claim.

                Until we get Joyce vs Mary: Battle for the Jesus at least

                • deliverything
                  deliverything
                  December 15, 2015 at 7:28 am | #

                  This may be largely a matter of definition. As WonderRabbit said, DoA seems to have antagonists rather than villains. For convenience, here’s a short and incomplete list of people who could’ve been considered antagonists over the course of the story so far:
                  Joyce, Walky, Amazi-girl, Danny, Sal, Sarah, Billie, Ruth, Becky, Roz, Mike, Malaya, Marcie, Raidah, Char.. feel free to add more.

                • Historyman68
                  Historyman68
                  December 15, 2015 at 7:51 am | #

                  Don’t forget about SYDNEY YUS!

                • modulusshift
                  modulusshift
                  December 16, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

                  Actually though, Blaine is a good example. A very realistic one, of course, but we’re never going to get any humanizing from him.

        • Viktoria
          Viktoria
          December 15, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

          People are literally always trying to study in a dorm. People are also literally always making noise in a dorm unless its designated quiet hours. That’s what communal living with a couple hundred college students means. That’s why schools have study rooms and quiet hours, for the benefit of people like Dorothy who care about studying.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          December 15, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

          Nah, Carla is being an ass. A jerk.

          Mary? Mary is escalating to a whole ‘nother level. I mean, she’s basically ruining Carla’s skates and basically intentionally caused Carla to take a nasty spill all because Carla annoyed her. Not hit her. Not threatened her. Just because she was being an annoying jerk.

          Carla was being an ass. Mary is assaulting another student and breaking something that has a lot of emotional value to them all because they were being a bit of a douchebag.

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            December 15, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

            I agree. Carla is being sorta randomly abrasive but it’s not like she came and destroyed Mary’s brand-new sketch pad or something.

            • Mindlink
              Mindlink
              December 15, 2015 at 5:29 pm | #

              Or randomly adhesive ?

              • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                Yet_One_More_Idiot
                December 15, 2015 at 9:36 pm | #

                Nah, Carla’s being randomly abrasive, Mary’s being randomly adhesive. 🙂

                • DarkoNeko
                  DarkoNeko
                  December 15, 2015 at 11:10 pm | #

                  *snerk*

          • Terracotta
            Terracotta
            December 15, 2015 at 6:29 am | #

            Yeah, we just went from horsing around to something a bit nastier. Granted, also not safe to jump over someone who’s lying down like in the last strip, but this is pretty freaking deliberate. Making a wheeled human suddenly stop is just a bad idea all around. Gravity will mess you up.

            I always get apprehensive when there’s a potentially bad injury in the final panel of a strip. Is she going to be slightly scraped up or are we looking at a high-speed, dead-stop, glasses-wearing faceplant into the carpet? *Shudder*

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            December 15, 2015 at 7:11 am | #

            Not to mention she just fucked up the dorm’s carpet with that stupid little stunt of hers. I’m sure the college will be really fucking impressed with that. If it worked that fast it’s some kind of super-glue, which means anything that will dissolve it will also dissolve the carpet.

            Also, there’s no way she didn’t know it would make Carla crash. If she got seriously hurt, she could probably sue Mary.

            But hey, Mary, as long as no one is happy around you, right? Carpets and teeth be damned.

            GODS I hope she gets her comeuppance. Fucking Mary.

            • random832
              random832
              December 15, 2015 at 8:49 am | #

              I don’t know why everyone’s still assuming there’s carpet. Even the thin carpet that everyone was justifying yesterday as being possible to skate on would have muffled the noise enough for it not to bother Mary.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 15, 2015 at 9:33 am | #

                It looks pretty carpet like. I also pretty much just presumed that Mary was just responding to any noise that intruded rather than an especially large noise. I dunno. Does anyone other than Willis know what the halls of Reed Hall look like?

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  December 15, 2015 at 11:07 am | #

                  I guess I don’t see it? I mean, because of the color? Vinyl/Linoleum can be any color. From my point of view the evidence stacks up as “Able to skate + Skating makes a noticeable sound [any at all, even – I would expect Mary to actually not know someone was skating outside if it were carpet] + most dorms don’t [in my personal experience] have carpet” against it being carpet vs absolutely nothing for.

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  December 15, 2015 at 11:09 am | #

                  As evidence against, here’s a picture of a dorm room with an area rug on a tile floor: http://www.rps.indiana.edu/img/galleries/Reademptydouble.jpg

            • random832
              random832
              December 15, 2015 at 8:50 am | #

              Plus, the glue doesn’t have to have actually set to have caused problems for Carla, so saying “it worked that fast” doesn’t really mean anything.

          • Gecko
            Gecko
            December 15, 2015 at 8:43 am | #

            This, the escalation. That was my thought too. Plus she’s now vandalized the floors. I expect that’s also against the rules. So now she’s broken the rules too, which basically nixes any high ground she could have had.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

          You are ignoring that Mary never asked for quiet,
          Carla has been wearing skates since always,
          ( so that would seem unreasonable )
          and Mary began their interaction by being rude.

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 15, 2015 at 2:20 am | #

            “could you not …” “nope !”

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am | #

              That’s talking around it, not addressing it directly. To be fair, that’s what Mary does and she wasn’t going to appeal to empathy. And to be fair to that to be fair point, appealing to empathy about studying probably wouldn’t have worked either.

              • random832
                random832
                December 15, 2015 at 8:48 am | #

                How is it talking around it? I think you’re assuming that “could you not” was her entire sentence (and therefore vague and ambiguous) rather than the first three words before she got interrupted.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

                  Indeed. It ended in … rather than -, – tends to be used for interruption, whereas … tends to be used for when someone trails off. Admittedly, she shouldn’t have to be perfect in her delivery, but she also has a kind of passive-aggression as default kind of mode (which honestly suggests some negative life experiences to get here).

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 8:54 am | #

          Your fallacy is false-equivalence .

        • Dragon_Nataku
          Dragon_Nataku
          December 15, 2015 at 11:15 am | #

          it’s a college dorm room. If it’s not Carla, SOME idiot or other would be doing some noisy thing in the hall or in their room or in the commons or whatever. Or OUTSIDE. Dorms are not particularly soundproof, even to stuff going on outside. Hell, in one of the dorms I was in, my friends found it easier to just yell at my window than come inside, climb the stairs, and knock on my door if they wanted my attention. Easier to find your own personal solution (like headphones) than try to fix the entire campus.

    • Rosicrucian
      Rosicrucian
      December 15, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Mary, you know you could just fucking get earplugs

      …or therapy.

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        A good friend told me that a comment section is an HTML playground.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 15, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

          yes it is.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            December 15, 2015 at 8:12 am | #

            no it’s not> yes it is

            • Falling Star
              Falling Star
              December 15, 2015 at 8:12 am | #

              fuck

              • Amazi-Stool
                Amazi-Stool
                December 15, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

                <abbr title="Because it is a playground”>You are allowed mistakes here!

                • Amazi-Stool
                  Amazi-Stool
                  December 15, 2015 at 12:54 pm | #

                  And i fucked it up, too!

                  Second try:
                  You are allowed mistakes here!

                • Amazi-Stool
                  Amazi-Stool
                  December 15, 2015 at 12:57 pm | #

                  Well this time it almost worked.
                  It did not! No idea why.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 15, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        They are probably too expensive..for her ego.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        December 15, 2015 at 2:05 am | #

        AND therapy.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      December 15, 2015 at 4:31 am | #

      I think it’s not just that it’s annoying her, although that seems the main motivation, it’s that it breaks the rules.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 15, 2015 at 8:55 am | #

        I think ist annoying her because it breaks a rule

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      December 15, 2015 at 4:06 pm | #

      Oh, so it’s the victim’s fault that she was victimized? Gosh, I wonder where I’ve heard that before.

      Or maybe she should “get a sense of humor?”

      “Oh, but being bullied isn’t like being raped! You aren’t going to be left scarred, or develop PTSD, or anything like that, you know!”

      Clue: that’s not true. A bully’s victim learns very fast the they won’t be protected. That the bully can and will get away with it. That the PTSD which follows will be denigrated — after all, it’s just kids having fun!

      Clue: you *can’t* always go somewhere else where you won’t be followed. Being bullied is often coupled being stalked. Your bully makes your whole world unsafe.

      So, no, Carla doesn’t have a sense of humor. She’s not funny or safe.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 15, 2015 at 9:03 pm | #

        “Oh, but being bullied isn’t like being raped!”
        NO it fucking isnt , unless the Bully rapes you.

        You know whats like RAPE? Just Rape.

        “Oh, so it’s the victim’s fault that she was victimized? Gosh, I wonder where I’ve heard that before.”

        FROM YOU. Thats You . You are victim-blaming, and saying the person attacked ( Carla ) deserved it.

      • Some Unregistered Punk
        Some Unregistered Punk
        December 16, 2015 at 9:49 am | #

        which victim are we talking about here?

        The brunette is being victimized by the red head while she skates about.
        The red head was victimized by the brunette when she gummed up her skates.

  2. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    December 15, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Of course you realize, this means war.

    • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
      MeghanTheDreamCrusher
      December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      Just as soon as Carla’s face grows back.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      So it Begins.

      • CptNerd
        CptNerd
        December 15, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

        I’ll see you and raise you: And so it begins

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 15, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          The Prank War has already started.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            December 15, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

            Love B5!

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            December 15, 2015 at 8:53 am | #

            Carla has always been here.

        • Big Box
          Big Box
          December 15, 2015 at 3:54 am | #

          I see you both and raise you the superior choice

          • Bladeglory
            Bladeglory
            December 15, 2015 at 5:50 am | #

            I’m very sad nobody has linked .

            • Bladeglory
              Bladeglory
              December 15, 2015 at 5:53 am | #

              Oops. This.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 15, 2015 at 7:18 am | #

          Beat me to it. 😀

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 15, 2015 at 8:23 am | #

        I don’t know why, but i thought first of this.

    • angrybamboo
      angrybamboo
      December 15, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      This? This right here? This is some straight up Coyote & Roadrunner shiz right here. no doubt.

      • MichaelHaneline
        MichaelHaneline
        December 15, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

        Beat me to it. (Though Anvil’s quote is actually from Daffy Duck.)

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 15, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

        My thought as well.

      • 90percentgeek
        90percentgeek
        December 15, 2015 at 5:06 am | #

        Yeah but I was hoping for some more failed attempts by Mary before Carla was stopped. This is kind of like if Wyle E. Coyote ate Roadrunner 2 mins into the cartoon.

      • Noclevername
        Noclevername
        December 15, 2015 at 8:15 am | #

        That’s ACME brand glue, I’d wager.

  3. Spencer
    Spencer
    December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    I can’t wait to see where this goes next.

    “Mary Season! Carla Season!”

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      “Open Season”?

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      How despicable.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        December 15, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        I need to see the *schppllit* in “deschppllicable”!

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 15, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      Don’t, you’ll call the Gunman back!

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        December 15, 2015 at 1:56 am | #

        Huh? All I can get out of this is some TTGL ref, but it doesn’t quite fit.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 15, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

          those I presume ?

        • Cephalo the Pod
          Cephalo the Pod
          December 15, 2015 at 10:09 pm | #

          No, the Gunman from this comic.

    • Abel Undercity
      Abel Undercity
      December 15, 2015 at 4:10 am | #

      Wile E. Coyote feels her pain.

  4. inqntrol
    inqntrol
    December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Wow Mary, you are such a joy killer.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      December 15, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      I feel bad to praise Mary, but I thought that was pretty awesome.

      • lejwocky
        lejwocky
        December 15, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        Her technique is poor though. The glue marks will make it really edu to trace this deed to her.

        • modulusshift
          modulusshift
          December 15, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

          And Ruth lives literally right there.

        • Michael William Crichton
          Michael William Crichton
          December 15, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

          How so? “Sorry, ruth, I accidentally dropped this tube of glue on the floor and someone skated right over it. Say! Isn’t that against the rules?”

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            December 15, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

            ‘She skated over it, then turned around and skated through the trail of glue?’

            • modulusshift
              modulusshift
              December 16, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

              Ted makes a surprisingly good avatar for this.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

        New super glue commercial:”Glues everything, even other people’s fun to the ground.”

      • Toad
        Toad
        December 15, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

        Yeah that was some pretty joyful prankish one-upmanship from where I’m standing.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        December 15, 2015 at 7:56 am | #

        Do you mean to “Hail Mary?”

  5. Dreadhawk177
    Dreadhawk177
    December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Sticky situation. There, I said it. No need for any more puns, okay?

    • Haven
      Haven
      December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      so you want…glueten-free comments?

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

        Crafty response. Will have to stick around for more.

        • Stephen R. Bierce
          Stephen R. Bierce
          December 15, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

          Commenters here tend to bond rather easily, huh?

          • modulusshift
            modulusshift
            December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

            This comic’s adherents are very attached to the characters, for sure. The cries of “Damn you Willis” are very consistent.

            • Stephen R. Bierce
              Stephen R. Bierce
              December 15, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

              Like putty in the master’s hands.

              • Dreadhawk177
                Dreadhawk177
                December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

                Really solidifies my campaign against puns.

              • Tgs
                Tgs
                December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

                Anyone who doesn’t like these comments can suck my caulk.

                • TheNinthShader
                  TheNinthShader
                  December 15, 2015 at 7:19 am | #

                  Damn you willis!

                • Kryss LaBryn
                  Kryss LaBryn
                  December 15, 2015 at 7:20 am | #

                  Well, now, that’s just cemented this thread something something.

                • Noclevername
                  Noclevername
                  December 15, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

                  Now that’s what I call a sticky situation!

        • achallenger
          achallenger
          December 15, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

          Of course all this horsing around led to this…

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        December 15, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

        they’ve now learned that horsing around is dangerous!

        • Dreadhawk177
          Dreadhawk177
          December 15, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

          Yep. They’ve really mucked up now.

          • achallenger
            achallenger
            December 15, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

            Carla is pretty PeeVAd off at this point (that one might have been a stretch)

            • Viking
              Viking
              December 15, 2015 at 2:30 am | #

              I suggests she hoofs it before she’s gets punched in the face for turning roller skates into weird shoes with glue.

            • Adam Black
              Adam Black
              December 15, 2015 at 9:00 am | #

              oh man

        • Renshear Blade
          Renshear Blade
          December 15, 2015 at 2:14 am | #

          don’t forget that horsing around starred Bojack Horseman…

    • achallenger
      achallenger
      December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Im sure I could roll out a few new ones to tack on

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        December 15, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        Fine. Just don’t go copy/pasting the first pun you look up.

        • achallenger
          achallenger
          December 15, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

          Syeaha Id hate to gum up the work with a bunch of unoriginal content

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

          You brought this on yourself. Now FACE the consequences.( Yeah, I’ll find my way out.)

          • achallenger
            achallenger
            December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

            Your not sweeping that one under the rug (although maybe into it apparently)

    • EdHead
      EdHead
      December 15, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

      All these jokes beFuddle me.

      • achallenger
        achallenger
        December 15, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

        Thank you for making the pun I couldn’t make work, work

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      Stuck you, I do what I want!

  6. Smiling Cat
    Smiling Cat
    December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    And there it is…

  7. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 15, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    *plays the Brothers Johnson song “Stomp” on the hacked Muzak*

    • M-M
      M-M
      December 15, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      Wishing Manu Chao’s “king of the bongo” was “Queen of the bongos…” http://youtu.be/ojnbHWRDclo

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      December 15, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

      Clowns to the left of me/Jokers to the right/Here I am—

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        December 15, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

        STUCK IN THE HALLWAY WITH GLUE

        • TheGrammarLegionary
          TheGrammarLegionary
          December 15, 2015 at 2:43 pm | #

          You’re the hero this comment thread deserves, Ana.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 15, 2015 at 2:43 am | #

        I don’t think Carla will take Mary’s ear off with a straight razor over this…

        • Noclevername
          Noclevername
          December 15, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

          We can only hope.

  8. anon
    anon
    December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Wile E. Coyote would be proud

  9. Lia47
    Lia47
    December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    motha

    fucking

    rekt

  10. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Coyote – Road Runner shenanigans are afoot.

    • Lia47
      Lia47
      December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      more of a bugs bunny and ELMERS fudd kind if situation, i think

      • angrybamboo
        angrybamboo
        December 15, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

        the problem is, nobody has the clear power yet. in all those looney toon rivalries, there’s always someone who wins and someone who loses. there isn’t much room for back and forths.

        • angrybamboo
          angrybamboo
          December 15, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

          Oh! except for Foghorn Leghorn and the Baryard Dawg, they were always pretty evenly matched. and neither one of them always won because they were both jerks. like mary and carla!

          • Lia47
            Lia47
            December 15, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

            *taps microphone*

            ELMERS fudd

            • modulusshift
              modulusshift
              December 15, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

              Oh, dammit. 🙂 you weren’t even in the pun thread and you won.

        • Noclevername
          Noclevername
          December 15, 2015 at 8:18 am | #

          Spy vs. Spy, then. Constant back-and-forth.

  11. gkheyf
    gkheyf
    December 15, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    super fast drying glue, apparently. kinda sad that that worked, but at least now mary will be the one in trouble for vandalizing the hall and potentially causing injury to a classmate.

    and she’ll probably have to buy her new skates

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

      There is that silver lining. Now, I wanna see Ruth taking this moment to walk out into the hall and striding up to Mary as she bloviates about how Carla started it.

      • angrybamboo
        angrybamboo
        December 15, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

        bloviates- good word.

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      December 15, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

      It doesn’t have to dry and glue her do the ground(and it didn’t). All it has to do is get into the wheels and gum up the bearings so that they stop spinning and you get a crash. I don’t know how fast it would happen, but this doesn’t seem implausible to me.

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        December 15, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        but the fact that it happened so suddenly rather than simply slowing down as friction builds makes it super fast drying cartoon glue!

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 15, 2015 at 1:38 am | #

          My generic superglue dries that quickly, so there are probably others that would too. Looked plausible to me.

        • Lurlock
          Lurlock
          December 15, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

          Yeah, I don’t buy that any consumer-grade glue could dry fast enough to instantly stop someone without slowing them down first. Somebody needs to get the Mythbusters on this one. She’d have been better off with course sand of some sort. That’ll definitely mess up skate wheels, with the added benefit of not causing permanent damage to skates or carpet. (Carla’s nose is another matter of course…)

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            December 15, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

            I dont think it had to dry. It just had to go into the bearings and be gummy
            There is a brand I know that will expand.

          • Toes14
            Toes14
            December 15, 2015 at 11:53 am | #

            Either it’s due to cartoon physics, or that’a the Acme brand super quick drying industrial strength glue endorsed by Wylie Coyote.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              December 15, 2015 at 2:55 pm | #

              If it was endorsed by Wylie, it wouldn’t work.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                December 15, 2015 at 9:49 pm | #

                We can see what type of glue it is! It’s the kind that comes in a whitish tube and just says GLUE. It didn’t hire a marketing team, and it gets gummy real quickly. Problem solved.

  12. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Well Mary is truly relentless… here comes true trouble, that fall was probably awful.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

      Luckily she’s “well versed” in post-crash self-medical-care.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        December 15, 2015 at 2:35 am | #

        Hopefully she didn’t damage her glasses.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          December 15, 2015 at 6:22 am | #

          Glasses-wearers’ first thought! Priorities!

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 15, 2015 at 11:13 pm | #

            Guilty as charged.

  13. John
    John
    December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m assuming Mary ordered the glue from ACME.

    • Melvin Schlock
      Melvin Schlock
      December 15, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

      This is getting very Road Runner/Coyote, isn’t it?

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 15, 2015 at 8:20 am | #

      Damn, you beat me to it.

  14. lumen
    lumen
    December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    noice

    • unrachel
      unrachel
      December 15, 2015 at 2:37 am | #

      thanks, mike

  15. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    December 15, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Okay, now THAT was fucked up. Mary totally in the wrong here.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Ehh, she couldn’t stay likeable tolerable redeemable not quite as awful as usual forever.

    • Thor
      Thor
      December 15, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      Yes, but she’s wrong in an awesome way, as opposed to Carla who’s wrong in an obnoxious way.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        December 15, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

        Yes, yes. Attempting to injure someone for not immediately bowing to your obviously superior will is awesome.

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          December 15, 2015 at 1:59 am | #

          Awesome in a cartoon, or comic. Not so much in real life, no. But DoA goes back and forth over the cartoony/real life line.

          • John
            John
            December 15, 2015 at 4:27 am | #

            Kelly, you’re starting to make me like your avatar more than I like Becky by default based on your consistently reasonable insights.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

      And yeah, that’s the answer to the people who were defending her yesterday. Mary isn’t in this for principle. She’s in to win and to be seen winning. Even if she needs to injure or hurt someone else to do so.

      • Thor
        Thor
        December 15, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

        That’s quite the assumption, considering there are no onlookers to see her “winning”.

        • Rabid Rabbit
          Rabid Rabbit
          December 15, 2015 at 1:18 am | #

          To quote Mary, “God sees everything.”

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 1:28 am | #

            God is her personal cheerleader.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        I’ll call things as I see it. Up until today, I thought Mary was completely in the right.

  16. Scubasteve0209
    Scubasteve0209
    December 15, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    This needs to become a running segment. Like Roadrunner & Wile E Coyote.

  17. Someone
    Someone
    December 15, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    and so began a beautiful friendship

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 15, 2015 at 1:31 am | #

      Who needs enemies and friends when you have Mary?

  18. IDontcarenomore
    IDontcarenomore
    December 15, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Uh oh.
    I think Mary has a problem (or 2) now.
    Buying Carla new skates being the least of those problems.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 15, 2015 at 2:57 pm | #

      Don’t need to buy new skates, just new wheels.

  19. Lia47
    Lia47
    December 15, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    ok but prank wars is how people fall in love be careful you two

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      lmao could you imagine homophobe Mary falling in love with a girl? Hell would freeze over.

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        December 15, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        (I mean, not that that never happens, internalized homophobia and self-denial are a thing for many people. BUT. Y’know. In the context of this comic it would be… unexpected to say the least.)

        • TheOthin
          TheOthin
          December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

          This comic? As in Dumbing of Age as a whole? Seems plenty plausible to me.

          • caesaria82
            caesaria82
            December 15, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

            Actually….. you are not wrong lol. I just thought because Mary is so, y’know, unpleasant. But I guess unpleasant people can fall in love, too xD

            • Gangler
              Gangler
              December 15, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

              It could be a way to resolve the situation with her and Billy/Ruth. Before she can finally make her move she’s stopped by somebody who’s clued into her secret crush.

              Potential for a lot of fun character interactions depending on who figures it out, since people will probably enjoy watching Mary squirm. Would contrast nicely with Becky who was pretty prepared to toss out old dogma like yesterday’s rubbish once she found out she was gay, but also had Joyce’s support, which I imagine will be lacking in Mary’s social circle.

              • DarkoNeko
                DarkoNeko
                December 15, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

                More like Glued on her secret crush.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  December 15, 2015 at 10:52 am | #

                  So mary would be stuck on someone?

                • DarkoNeko
                  DarkoNeko
                  December 15, 2015 at 11:14 pm | #

                  Yes, they’re gonna be insufferable inseparable.

        • Noclevername
          Noclevername
          December 15, 2015 at 8:23 am | #

          Unexpected, right, because no one in DOA turns out to be suddenly attracted to their own gender.

          • caesaria82
            caesaria82
            December 15, 2015 at 6:45 pm | #

            lol I really used the wrong word then. I meant sorta out of character for Mary. But also, maybe not, maybe she’s projecting, you never know. I DON’T KNOW, OK? xD
            Of course it’s totally *in* character for DoA in general 😉

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:31 pm | #

          What @Othin Said
          Mary is such a self-righteous judgmental hypocrite, thats its
          totally plausible.

          Im going to take a liberty here and presume no new Dumbing Fans see Mary as genuinely morally virtuous ; rather than someone who uses rules to solely for a pretense of superiority

          Willis hasnt played this aspect up yet,
          but I seriously doubt he didnt import the definging major negative Characteristic of Walkyverse Mary , while yet making her so much more hateful… Especially when every other character retains some core characteristics

    • Gangler
      Gangler
      December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Oh yeah… that’s right isn’t is? What an odd pair they would be.

    • Minty
      Minty
      December 15, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      “Careful” is out the window, Mary’s already got Carla eating carpet.

      • Noclevername
        Noclevername
        December 15, 2015 at 8:24 am | #

        I see what you did there.

      • Lia47
        Lia47
        December 15, 2015 at 2:54 pm | #

        +100

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      Which one is the tsundere? Both?

      • Gangler
        Gangler
        December 15, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

        Mary.

        Carla says what she means and means what she says. Has no problem telling anybody exactly how she feels about them.

        Mary on the other hand would have numerous reasons to beat around the bush here, and probably have trouble admitting her feelings to herself in the first place. Even on a normal day she’s inclined to say things with hidden meaning, and I assume that would only become exaggerated under these circumstances.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/dvr/

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 15, 2015 at 2:37 am | #

          Mary is a childish yandere.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:34 pm | #

          I can totally see Mary “beating around the bush”.

    • Lawzlo
      Lawzlo
      December 15, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      I hope this escalates into wacky Spy vs Spy shenanigans.

      • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        December 15, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

        A spin off comic of that should be the next patreon stretch goal.

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 15, 2015 at 8:40 am | #

      Any sex Mary has would automatically be a hatefuck.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      December 15, 2015 at 1:28 pm | #

      Prank Wars:
      Episode IV – A new pair of skates
      Episode V – The Glue strikes back
      Episode VI – Return of the Joyce

      • Amazi-Stool
        Amazi-Stool
        December 15, 2015 at 5:46 pm | #

        Uh, missed the opportunity! Should have totally been:

        Episode VI – Return of the Jerks

        (because both of them are!)

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:37 pm | #

          Episode IV Rustle of the Jimmies

  20. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 15, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    I’m just over here, happy about all this screentime my main squeeze Carla is getting. Even if she just fell flat on her face.

    • John
      John
      December 15, 2015 at 4:28 am | #

      Based on your avatar you’re getting a twofer with this arc.

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        December 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm | #

        This avatar is not my choice lol. I’m used to it now and I don’t really care, so I’m not bothered to change it. But I really don’t like Mary^^

  21. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    December 15, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Revenge served white and sticky! Wait-

    • John
      John
      December 15, 2015 at 4:28 am | #

      That sounds kinda sexist…

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 15, 2015 at 8:25 am | #

      That’s not revenge, it’s a messy expression of love.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      December 15, 2015 at 3:40 pm | #

      Semen takes too long to dry.

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        December 15, 2015 at 6:23 pm | #

        You know, sometimes I mess up replying to comments and my reply ends up at the bottom of the comments, completely out of context and seemingly unconnected to anything. I wish so hard that this had happened with your post. It would have been glorious

  22. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    December 15, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    now you see now you’re using your head

  23. Guairdean
    Guairdean
    December 15, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Someone’s been watching too many Bugs Bunny/Road Runner cartoons.

  24. Cheshrin
    Cheshrin
    December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Man, it sure would be a shame if Ruth were cranky and on the warpath and looking for a reason to make someone else’s life miserable so she doesn’t have to be miserable alone.

    Sure would be a shame.

    Sure would be.

  25. Ruthful
    Ruthful
    December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    aaaand there goes my hope for Mary ever being developed past one-dimensional “hate this character, guys”.

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 15, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      Thats like saying zuko would always be a villain because of the ending of the 2nd season

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

        Unlike Zuko at the end of season 2, Mary has yet to show even a potential for redemption.

        • modulusshift
          modulusshift
          December 15, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

          Redemption as in becoming likable? No, that’s not happening. Redemption as in being a developed character? She was all over when Joyce was trying to find a church. It just developed her into someone who really isn’t compatible with any of the other characters.

    • Goliath
      Goliath
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      In Mary’s defense, Carla was being kind of a bongo.

      • Ruthful
        Ruthful
        December 15, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        I agree that Carla was in the wrong but that doesn’t mean “ruin her new skates and injure her”. How can you ever think that’s remotely acceptable or justifiable?

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          December 15, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

          Seriously. You don’t get to injure people and break their stuff just because they are being annoying.

          And yet, somehow our culture sees violence as an acceptable response to annoyance and that’s used as an excuse for a lot of terrible actions (see harassment campaigns always highlighting how “annoying” their targets are to justify their abuse).

          • Toad
            Toad
            December 15, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

            You must REALLY hate Looney Toons.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 15, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

              Looney Tunes killed my mother… with… *sob* an ACME anvil.

              • saltchocolate
                saltchocolate
                December 15, 2015 at 6:25 am | #

                I love that movie!!!

            • Clif
              Clif
              December 15, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

              And Mike.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 15, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

                Oh, I think my hatred of this universe’s Mike is well public record.

                • Kamino Neko
                  Kamino Neko
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:17 am | #

                  I’m not even a fan of Walkyverse Mike, though I can tolerate him more than this one.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  December 15, 2015 at 5:33 pm | #

                  That’s interesting, Neko. I consider him more tolerable here because his schemes don’t always work out the way he wants; I’m thinking of the conversation with Ethan in the Chik Fil-A, where he’s clearly trying to guide Ethan to a less self-hating path with sarcasm and asshole, and Ethan doesn’t follow the script Mike has in his head and burrows deeper into self-loathing, to Mike’s apparent shock. When he was infallible, I considered him far less tolerable. Less obvious examples are when he tried to say Billie was dead, and the like.

                  I don’t like DoA Mike, but I tolerate him. It’s not like with Carla and Malaya, where they have their more obvious moments and their come-uppance; them, I like.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              December 15, 2015 at 9:01 am | #

              The Loony Tunes largely suck.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 15, 2015 at 6:43 pm | #

        In Carla’s defense,
        Why dafuq defend Mary?
        The difference here between Carla not kissing Marys ass ( like nobody one does ) and Mary playing the Bongos at the Bongo Mansion, on Witch-Bongo mountain which she now owns , because Marys a Megabyeatch

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      I mean, she already had a bunch of development during the arc where Joyce found a church to go to. She just made it clear she wasn’t compatible with the other characters. Like, any of them.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

        And that’s why she’s great as a foil. She has reason to hate every character and to every character, she somewhat represents the man. Like, in the general oppression and the “never able to let your guard down” kind of way.

        She’s not going to wave a gun in your face. She’s not going kidnap you. But she is going to let you know that she has power over you and that she’s more than happy to use that to remind you of how her “right” to not have to change should be considered the most important thing.

        And in that as well, she’s a contrast to the other characters. Everyone else is changing and responding to that and Mary is the mirror, especially to Joyce of what can happen if you stay inflexible and try and force the world to change rather than changing herself.

        So yeah, she’s probably going to be firmly an antagonist, because that’s where her greatest potential seems to be (that being said Willis is brilliant at this kind of stuff, so who knows what Mary’s long-term arc will be).

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 15, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

          I suspect Mary’s inflexibility will break at some point, tho.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:53 pm | #

          Mary is a slightly subtler um . damn That American Antigay Christian Cult.
          Fuck you know the one. they picket funerals .
          ( I have a medical condition called aphasia *). Her hate is so misguided and so ineptly applied like them, that its almost crafted to bring people together against her.

          Now Um having mixed feelings about forgetting that name.
          One the hand its terrible my brain is a colander for words. But I can usually google around it. On the otherhand its sort of Blessing I cant remember those assholes names. I can look that up but Id rather reassign that neuronexus recall address for something worthwhile.

          ( must relinquish the urge to look them up )

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 9:45 pm | #

            *coughcough*Westboro Baptist Church*coughcough*

      • Amazi-Stool
        Amazi-Stool
        December 15, 2015 at 1:34 pm | #

        “bunch of development”?
        We still know zero of her history leading her to be such a jerk.
        Even Ross had more development (we know his wife died).

    • Peduncle
      Peduncle
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      I was all, hey Mary isn’t so bad. Oops.

    • Lia47
      Lia47
      December 15, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      really? sick pranks and cartoonish gags usually make me like a character more, not less (and if alt-universe history holds true, the same goes for carla, even if she doesnt show it at first). the fact that she’s even capable of engaging in such tomfoolery seems to imply more dimensions to her- oh god im getting sucked into the prank war character analysis arent i help me

      • Toad
        Toad
        December 15, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

        Yeah I read this as “goofy cartoon slapstick,” not “serious property damage and physical harm,” especially since it’s just a ridiculous premise. What kind of glue behaves like that?

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 15, 2015 at 7:26 am | #

          Some super-glues legit do.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:54 pm | #

          Gorilla Glue. It expands and turns to pink foamy cement

          • Toad
            Toad
            December 15, 2015 at 9:36 pm | #

            That quickly, and despite large amounts of friction from fast-moving wheels?

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 15, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

      “aaaand there goes my hope for Mary ever being developed past one-dimensional “hate this character, guys”.”

      Yeah, because there are no people in real life who are hateful, self-righteous dicks.

      • Ruthful
        Ruthful
        December 15, 2015 at 8:39 am | #

        I didn’t say that there weren’t people like that. I said I hoped for her to develop any nuance beyond that (and am losing that hope).

  26. sun tzu
    sun tzu
    December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Goddammit, Willis, don’t you DARE make me cheer on Mary!

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 15, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      Carla was being too loud so Mary, instead of doing something sane, damages her property and potentially injures her severely. And you want to cheer Mary on?

      • Thor
        Thor
        December 15, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

        Mary attempted to take the high road, but Carla was having none of it.

        Don’t start none, won’t be none.

        • Viktoria
          Viktoria
          December 15, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

          Carla: Made noise during the day
          Mary: Injured Carla, destroyed her prized possessions, vandalized the dorm
          How is that an equivalent response? Hell, how is Carla the one that started anything in the first place?

          • Thor
            Thor
            December 15, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

            You answered that yourself. Carla made noise. And she declined to desist, even though what she was doing was against the rules. That’s how Carla started it.

            • -Sentinel-
              -Sentinel-
              December 15, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

              Yup. And regardless of who’s right or wrong, I do appreciate a character with guts.

              Let’s be real: replace Mary with Mike, and everyone would be on Mike’s side.

              • chris73
                chris73
                December 15, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

                This.

              • Thor
                Thor
                December 15, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

                Or if Mary was making noise in the halls while Carla was attempting to study, riding a pogo stick made of Bibles or whatever. Everyone would be all “Mary’s a dick!” and would cheer Carla’s attempts to take her down.

                • Viktoria
                  Viktoria
                  December 15, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/sure/
                  That’s what happens when a reasonable person in a communal living arrangement has to put up with noise during the day. She works past it. This is a dorm. Is Mary going to assault everyone who plays gangsta rap or red dirt music, too? Because that was everyone on my floor. Not to mention football-watching parties, video game marathons, and just groups of friends talking loudly.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  December 15, 2015 at 3:02 pm | #

                  “Red dirt music”? you made me have to go look that up. Darn you for forcing me to learn something.

              • modulusshift
                modulusshift
                December 15, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

                Oooh, big guns… Truth is, though, it’s kinda out of character for Mike, considering his jerk with a heart of gold tendencies.

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

                  I wasn’t aware he had a heart of gold. Probably not even a heart of nickel.

                • DarkoNeko
                  DarkoNeko
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:41 am | #

                  Probavly why he’s collecting nickels, too. Saving to make a heart.

              • Kamino Neko
                Kamino Neko
                December 15, 2015 at 2:19 am | #

                No, we wouldn’t.

              • Noclevername
                Noclevername
                December 15, 2015 at 8:30 am | #

                “Let’s be real: replace Mary with Mike, and everyone would be on Mike’s side.”

                Yes, let’s! I would fully support that substitution.

              • Liokae
                Liokae
                December 15, 2015 at 12:28 pm | #

                I really don’t think we would. Mike’s good stuff has always been psychological, not physical- especially in dumbiverse here.

                HAIL SATAN indeed.

              • Willoughby Chase
                Willoughby Chase
                December 15, 2015 at 3:43 pm | #

                At least Mary had the GUMption to STICK it to Carla. Next, Carla will be glued to her tongue.

                I’ll get my coat.

            • Viktoria
              Viktoria
              December 15, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

              I’m glad I don’t live next to you. I’d be afraid to set my alarm in the morning in case you shot me when it went off.

              • Thor
                Thor
                December 15, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

                Now that’s not fair. I’d would definitely ask you to turn the alarm off first. However if you told me to go tell a cop, then it would be time to whip out the boomstick.

                • Viktoria
                  Viktoria
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

                  I feel like you need to seek professional help. That’s a serious suggestion. I work with a guy who has multiple violent crimes on his record and rage issues and he handles mild annoyance better than you do. Your post here has me honestly scared for your neighbors.

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:50 am | #

                  What’s a little violence between friends?

                • Thor
                  Thor
                  December 15, 2015 at 4:49 pm | #

                  @Viktoria: I was following up your obvious hyperbole with more obvious hyperbole. Also we are both clearly speaking about hypothetical situations that could never occur because we do not actually know each other beyond a verbal exchange on this message board.

                  You were the one who started by assigning the completely imaginary me the attribute of hair-trigger aggression in this impossible scenario, and I merely played along with it. If I was truly a short-tempered rage-monster, I would have most likely launched into invective and personal attacks many posts ago instead of calmly debating your conclusions.

                  In short, please calm down. If you are actually as frightened as you claim to be, you are getting yourself all worked up over nothing.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  December 16, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

                  Dude, you’re saying it’s cool to respond however to annoyance. It’s your whole thing the last couple days. What made you think Viktoria’s question was hyperbolic in any way? For a guy focused on ‘calm debates’, yer good at picking words that don’t make you actually appear calm or collected.

              • LastDawnOfMan
                LastDawnOfMan
                December 15, 2015 at 2:51 am | #

                It’s called “going Pistorious on yo ass.”

            • Petra
              Petra
              December 15, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

              Okay. Doesn’t mean she deserved to have her skates utterly wrecked and her face deal with what’s basically a straight punch. Look, I agree Carla started it and was being a shit. That doesn’t mean EVERY response is a justified response.

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                December 15, 2015 at 7:31 am | #

                “Hey, Carla, I know it’s the middle of the day, but I need to study this chapter and my brain is latching onto this distraction like a mother. Would you mind heading over to another wing for a while, please?” –What was not said or even implied in the slightest. And would also be horribly out of character for Mary, but Jesus, woman, maybe try asking nicely next time, even if you’re in the right. It works SO MUCH better.

                Mary is looking to upgrade from a bongo to a conga drum, apparently.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

            This. And I’m annoyed not just because I’m totally biased for Carla (though I totally am), but because of that joy in the first comic of this interlude. The sheer joy on Carla’s face. Being able to skate again meant everything to her and at the least, she’s going to have another week or two’s delay before she’s going to be able to regain that.

            And that’s so annoying, because it’s so rare that trans women are allowed to be that unabashedly happy and Mary ruined it simply because Carla was being a smug jerk.

            • chris73
              chris73
              December 15, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

              Or she could have just gone and skated outside right at the very start.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                December 15, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

                Let’s be real: nobody cares about that. That’s a safety rule. Most people have claimed Carla is being annoying, and totally neglected the safety aspect. Except she isn’t particularly annoying.

            • Thor
              Thor
              December 15, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

              So if you are trans, rules shouldn’t apply to you if breaking them makes you happy? Good to know.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 15, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

                No. I just mean, being trans means that there tends to be a lot that fights against being happy. Microaggressions, dysphoria, societal stigma, so on. We as a people aren’t typically allowed to be brash and joyful.

                So, that she lost that is sad, not that all trans people should get to break infinite laws without reproach (also, what the hell? Mary isn’t a real authority figure, she’s a stick-in-the-mud trying to be a jerk to another flavor of jerk. If she actually wanted to “collar in rule-breaking”, she would have grabbed a god-damn staff member for the University or sucked it up and banged on Ruth’s door).

              • Xerxes93
                Xerxes93
                December 15, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

                yes, the rules don’t apply to trans people because we followed the rules and still get murdered at a much higher rate than the cis population. We get attacked just for existing, so fuck you. and your “so rules don’t apply to trans people?” bullshit.

                • Thor
                  Thor
                  December 15, 2015 at 4:55 pm | #

                  Okay.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 15, 2015 at 6:40 pm | #

                  Come on, dude. Nobody’s shitting on you for thinking Mary’s more in the right in this little slapstick thing, but you can’t just ignore the actual oppression of trans men and women with something like “so trans people get to ignore the rules huh?!” stuff.

              • Adam Black
                Adam Black
                December 15, 2015 at 8:47 pm | #

                Maybe … This is not EVER a clause YOU should start a sentence with
                “So if you are trans”?

                Because you probably are not, right?

                Sarcastically speaking over , past and for trans people,
                ipso facto , makes you an A-hole.

                Willis even had a DOA about this not too long ago.

                If you are not , you will look that over and apologize to Trans fans.

            • Petra
              Petra
              December 15, 2015 at 12:50 am | #

              Look, Mary went way over the line here, but I don’t think it has anything to do with Carla being trans. Mostly bc Mary doesn’t know, as she’s pretty bigoted, but.

              I like Carla a lot. She also should have been skating somewhere outdoors or at least not so occupied. Furthermore, I believe she was skating indoors partially to irritate people, and partially bc she was so excited about her skates she didn’t want to wait. Does Carla deserve to be happy? I want most people to be happy! I want her to be happy skating! But it’s not like she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

              Again, I think Mary’s response here was totally disproportionate.

              • Gangler
                Gangler
                December 15, 2015 at 1:19 am | #

                Carla’s stated that she likes skating because it’s “like an unspoken middle finger to everyone”, so it seems pretty reasonable to say skating indoors was intentionally done to irritate people.

                I don’t know that there’s much weight to the “She was so excited she didn’t want to wait” theory. As far as we know it’s not a noteworthy trip to leave the building. Plus, even if that were the situation she surely would’ve kept skating towards the exit rather than skating back and forth in front of Mary’s doorway.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

                  Prolly. Or hell, maybe even because it’s entering October in Indiana and most everyone else is wearing jackets and she’s got on a tiny mini-skirt. Either way, yeah, she could have totally moved on and probably wishes she had now that her skates are toast again.

                  Though I doubt that Carla thinks this is a moment to back down rather than taking it as a thrown gauntlet in a prank war that will make Ruth cross with all the damage to the dorm carpets and the like.

                • Dragon_Nataku
                  Dragon_Nataku
                  December 15, 2015 at 11:43 am | #

                  I used to put on my rollerblades before leaving the dorm and clunk down the stairs (and then back up when I was done) cause where am I gonna put my shoes when I’m skating outside?? Nobody complained though. Probably cause I didn’t proceed to skate up and down the hallway. (not that I’m on anyone’s side here. Being noisy is annoying but as I’ve previously stated noise is unavoidable in a dorm and Mary should just get some headphones)

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 15, 2015 at 1:39 am | #

                I don’t think it has to do with her being trans either. I think it has everything to do with Carla thwarting her and making her look stupid in the process. Mary’s response to humiliation is clearly to escalate way passed any normal realm of sense and that’s probably going to buy her one hell of a prank enemy.

                The transness more has to do with why it extra sucks that she lost her skates, because not many trans people are really socially allowed to be as happy as Carla was at the beginning of the interlude.

            • Gangler
              Gangler
              December 15, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

              I’m sure Carla will be happy again soon enough. She doesn’t really have much problem keeping herself amused. She’ll probably play some revenge prank on Mary or say something snide to Sal and everything will be well again.

              Plus it’s not like Mary broke her skates or anything. At most like a few hours of elbow grease to get the glue off those wheels and they’ll be good as new.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 15, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

                I don’t think so.

                I mean, yeah, to make them semi-functional with some janky sticking, but I doubt Carla is the type to settle for that. So yeah, I’d say the skates are at least demoted to backup skates if not gone. Especially if that glue container was super glue or rubber cement.

                • Kamino Neko
                  Kamino Neko
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:30 am | #

                  Both Carla and her skates seem to be in working order by March 10 (the next preview panel involving her), so it looks like no great harm was done.

                  Not, of course, to defend Mary. She’s been in the wrong from the start, and neither the fact that it doesn’t turn out as badly as it could, nor any of the criticisms of Carla change that. (Noise? Suck it up, princess, this isn’t unusual noise levels for the environment. Rules? Go find an authority figure and see if they’re going to enforce the rule for the first time in a year and change. (There’s no chance that this is a new thing for Carla, given how fundamental it is to her personality.) Safety? Hey, actually somewhere Carla’s indisputably actually in the wrong! But then Mary responds to Carla’s carelessness by actively creating a hazard – twice, no less – so no points to her.)

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

                  Oh yay. That’s good! Boomer (the skates) will live!

                  And your parenthetical makes some good points, including the one about Carla initially being in the wrong on a raw safety level (wouldn’t be the first time she almost crashed into someone in comic).

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:56 pm | #

          “Mary attempted to take the high road”
          Literally happened Never, in this comic.

          Its possibly you have extremely low standards as to what constitutes a high road. Maybe high for a Tunnel?

      • Lia47
        Lia47
        December 15, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        much as i love carla, mary’s japes have been pretty impressive

  27. Nono
    Nono
    December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Mary Christmas, Carla.

  28. Emma
    Emma
    December 15, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Shit her new skates! I think Mary is a was.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      December 15, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      Can’t tell whether typo or prediction that Mary will soon be past tense

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 15, 2015 at 2:43 am | #

      I’m more worried about her glasses right now.

  29. Sam
    Sam
    December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Clever Girl

  30. Captain Button
    Captain Button
    December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Just helping Carla break with Carl’s past. Getting plastic surgery for a new face will help that, right?

  31. Brute
    Brute
    December 15, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

    i wish i could say this “No Fun Zone” attitude was unbelievable and didn’t reflect how real people act.

    how i wish.

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 15, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      I wish I could say the glue didn’t work and that Carla did not fall on her face, but college is no fairly tale world.

    • EvilMidnightLurker
      EvilMidnightLurker
      December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      To be fair to Mary, roller-skating in a dorm hallway is genuinely dangerous and stupid.

      To be fair to everyone else, what Mary just did is goddamn criminal and horrifying.

      • Thor
        Thor
        December 15, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

        Carla would be a monumental hypocrite if she went sobbing to the authorities after all she’s said and done.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 15, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

          Carla’s never deliberately tried to hurt someone.

          • Thor
            Thor
            December 15, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

            So?

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 15, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

              So she’s never hurt anyone.

              That being said, yeah, of course she won’t go to an authority. She’s anti-authoritarian streak incarnate. She could have a gashed face and a broken collarbone and she’ll still avoid narcing and instead start planning a prank come-back.

              • Thor
                Thor
                December 15, 2015 at 12:52 am | #

                If Carla ends up with stitches or in the hospital next strip, I will happily accept your “I told you so!” However, I don’t think that anyone is going to be any more physically traumatized by this than when Mike was punching Joe on Joyce’s orders.

                • Gangler
                  Gangler
                  December 15, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

                  From what I recall that legitimately was a pretty rough night for Joe. Like, he was still feeling it the next morning.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

                  Gangler – This.

                  Thor – see key word “could”. As in, even if she were hurt genuinely bad rather than just banged up a bit, she’s not really the personality type to go to an authority figure about it.

              • Captain Button
                Captain Button
                December 15, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

                So at the clinic Carla is all “Oh, I just skated into a door, OK?” And the nurse reports her as a possible victim of abuse and an investigation starts…

                Drama ensues.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 2:20 am | #

                  Joyce gets pulled aside because of her injured punching arm. Hijinks ensue!

          • Gangler
            Gangler
            December 15, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

            By skating in the hallway she’s recklessly disregarding the safety of everybody trying to enter and leave their rooms.

            She may not be intentionally trying to crash into anybody but she doesn’t seem to care much if she does. I assume there’s still wide open spaces outside where Carla could skate without taking such risks.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 9:00 am | #

              She’s a kid. She’s probably sure she’d never hit someone on accident and would totally notice and move. It’s definitely unsafe, and she ought to be outside. It’s got nothing to do with most people’s primary objections, but it /is/ true.

            • Amazi-Stool
              Amazi-Stool
              December 15, 2015 at 2:02 pm | #

              Carla “safely” skating outside – passing bystanders at close distance!

              • Thor
                Thor
                December 15, 2015 at 4:59 pm | #

                Hey! Carla is a saint who can do no wrong! Quit linking to canonical references that counter this! You’ll weaken people’s righteous fury at Mary, and that just won’t do!

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  December 15, 2015 at 5:17 pm | #

                  Hahahaha

                  AHAHAHAHAHAHA

                  Man, you’re a hell of a tool.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                December 15, 2015 at 5:28 pm | #

                Waaaait, this is about Danny jumping into her path? I dunno, that seemed a safe distance (From Ethan) to me, it’s an arms length to the side, but it’s not like skating safety rules are fresh in memory. I’m not seeing any quick n’ easy rules with a cursory search either (I’m thinking along the lines of ‘two car lengths’)

          • Safgaftsa
            Safgaftsa
            December 15, 2015 at 3:24 am | #

            She was voluntarily involved in that fight with Amazigirl, if I remember correctly.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 5:37 pm | #

              …that’s self-defense, both perceived and actual (AG made it sound like she was taking them all in, but really she just wanted Sal. Carla thought she was protecting herself from a reasonable threat to her person, and was in actuality helping defend Sal).

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                December 15, 2015 at 7:56 pm | #

                Also that part has Carla state that ganging up on somebody makes her uncomfortable, and she’d rather establish her dominance through sweet pranks.

        • modulusshift
          modulusshift
          December 15, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

          Doesn’t have to. Ruth lives right there. Even if she’s not in, clearly she’s going to see the glue squirt pointing directly to Mary’s door right outside her own.

        • Xerxes93
          Xerxes93
          December 15, 2015 at 4:48 am | #

          “after all she’s said and done”? you make it sound so dramatic, she was skating down a hallway being as rude to mary as mary was to her, not brutally assaulting Mary.

          And if Mary had wanted her to stop, she would’ve gone to Ruth or another RA. But she didn’t because what she really wanted to do was hurt Carla and ruin her stakes.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 6:59 pm | #

          RUtrolling, i can not tell?
          Maybe you dont know what hypocrite means.

          Carla didnt tell Mary not to go to authorities. She encouraged her.
          Taking ones own advice doesnt make a person a hypocrite. It makes them self-consistent .

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

        Brute- Indeed.

        EvilMidnightLair – Double indeed

      • Meh
        Meh
        December 15, 2015 at 4:30 pm | #

        To be fair, if the roller girl was actually wearing her appropriate gear and not just wrist guards, skating in the hallway wouldn’t be that dangerous. But since dumbass tried out new skates without her knee pads, elbow pads, mouth guard, or helmet, she can’t complain about injury. You get what you get and you don’t have a fit.

        Sorry- her lack of gear has irritated me from the first strip. Amateur.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 7:16 pm | #

          I’m sorry for judging for saying inane hateful crap about Carla, its just that if you dont reread what you write and see how it reads to humans with a conscience you cant complain about it.

          So totally sorry , not sorry, too.

  32. catsonmars
    catsonmars
    December 15, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

    mary is truly evil

  33. fogel
    fogel
    December 15, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    Mary delenda est

  34. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    Why am I on Mary’s side in this?

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 15, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

      Certainly a question you should be asking yourself.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 15, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

        Pretty funny saying that with your current gravatar.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          December 15, 2015 at 7:14 am | #

          Honestly, I think it’s because I don’t find anything cute or funny about Carla irritating Mary. Bullying is bullying and Carla is definitely in the wrong here.

          • Liokae
            Liokae
            December 15, 2015 at 12:34 pm | #

            The “she started it!” defense wasn’t valid in the second grade, it’s sure as hell not valid in college.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 15, 2015 at 12:35 pm | #

            I love privileged people co opting shit!

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            December 15, 2015 at 7:18 pm | #

            ( cough cough ) Transphobic Nonsense ( cough )

            sorru about that. As you were saying….

            • Charles Phipps
              Charles Phipps
              December 15, 2015 at 10:06 pm | #

              This may surprise you but Carla is more than just a transwoman. She’s a person. An annoying bullying jerk. I don’t define her by one quality of her persona–neither should you.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                December 16, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

                Yeah, declaring that what she’s doing is bullying isn’t making it so.

                Caring far more about the trans person’s perceived bullying than anyone else’s (FFS, she shares a universe with Mike; Some, maybe most, of his asshattery isn’t bullying, but there’s no universe where what Carla’s doing is, and what he does isn’t) makes it look like that isn’t really your problem. Because let’s be real, it probably isn’t. Like any other -ism, it doesn’t just express itself in some equivalent of pointy hoods and rhetoric about how people aren’t human. It also comes from disproportionate responses to smaller transgressions. You know, like pretending that enjoying your new toy in an annoying way is part of a bullying campaign.

                Crikes.

                • Charles Phipps
                  Charles Phipps
                  December 16, 2015 at 3:09 am | #

                  Well, on my end, I went to college and was constantly surrounded by people who made studying damn near impossible with loud music, parties, and complete inability to give a **** about others. So, yeah, I get a sense of schadenfreude. I’m also transferring some of Ultracar’s attitudes to Carla in their complete lack of respect for other people. In short, I was basically Sarah in college and had a lot of these sorts of fantasies I never, of course, acted on. But sympathy? Hugely on Mary’s side here. RESPECT other people’s space and need to study.

  35. RJ
    RJ
    December 15, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    ctrl+f “bongo”

  36. lime sheep
    lime sheep
    December 15, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    mary now actively hurting people, hilarious personality clash no longer ridiculously low-stakes.

    • Thor
      Thor
      December 15, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

      If Carla can’t take a fall like this, she should probably not be on skates in the first place. I would be shocked if she injured more than her pride here.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

        Well, she wasn’t expecting to go down here, so there’s that. That being said, she’s used to getting banged up based on what she said to Amber in the bathroom, so I’m gonna guess it’ll be some potentially skinned knees and a banged elbow or shoulder and some completely ruined skates.

        • modulusshift
          modulusshift
          December 15, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

          Well, she does wear glasses, and those aren’t immortal in this universe as we’ve already seen with Amber.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

            Hmm… she did land on her face.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              December 15, 2015 at 6:37 am | #

              No reason to think she didn’t get her hands out in front of her to break the fall.

              • Viktoria
                Viktoria
                December 15, 2015 at 9:13 pm | #

                Face would be better. If you try to catch yourself you can break a wrist, just take the fall.

    • Petra
      Petra
      December 15, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

      Yeah, basically. I was actually roughly on her side before. She’s IRRITATING and absolutely a bigot, but I pegged her as fairly harmless, partially due to the fact that she doesn’t even seem to want to interact with people long enough to escalate a situation.

  37. Carms
    Carms
    December 15, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    I hope her new skates are ok =(

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      I hope her face is okay.

      • detective boomwolf
        detective boomwolf
        December 15, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        I know who won’t be ok when she gets up…

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      I’m pretty sure her skates are kaput. And now Mary has Carla’s complete attention.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        December 15, 2015 at 4:10 am | #

        Yep. I wouldn’t be surprised if at LEAST until she had new skates, Carla devoted herself to ruining Mary’s non-Quiet dorm time. Which, if it weren’t Mary, I probably wouldn’t be on her side for, but Fuck Mary.

  38. LBD "Nytetrayn"
    LBD "Nytetrayn"
    December 15, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    I predict punching tomorrow.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 15, 2015 at 4:12 am | #

      You’d be surprised. A lot of people in DoA have avoided violence for any of a number of reasons – even some of the vandals AG tried to do something about were like “Nah, I won’t punch you. I’m an engineering student, that’s a felony that can ruin my life, this is just a harmless misdemeanor”, and jocks were like “Why would I punch you for being a jerk to me?” to Danny when he was trying to force AG’s appearance.

      Granted, they aren’t Carla, but I don’t expect less of Carla in this regard.

  39. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    Remember kids, the proper response to someone making too much noise is to make them have an accident where they crash at potentially high speeds face first into the floor.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

      This. Oh, hey, you are making noise and I make vague noises around that fact, but you were just rude and dismissive. Guess I get to physically hurt you now.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        December 15, 2015 at 7:15 am | #

        Yep. Yes you can! REVENGE ON MY DORMMATES!

  40. Tony
    Tony
    December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    Mary you absolute scumbag

    • detective boomwolf
      detective boomwolf
      December 15, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

      On the bright side, chances are, she won’t be smart enough to run away immediately. So chances are Carla is gonna be primed to beat her into the floor.

  41. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    http://33.media.tumblr.com/3e6a9e7520a85bf6f74ab2de7e2e540b/tumblr_inline_nnydxlFOKV1rya1kw_500.gif

  42. modulusshift
    modulusshift
    December 15, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    I can’t believe Mary just did that outside of Ruth’s door. Never be the one to escalate a problem from ignorable to destructive. Entice someone else to, and they’ll get the blame for ruining shit.

    • Ivkra
      Ivkra
      December 15, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

      Yeah, except she has blackmail material on Ruth.

      • modulusshift
        modulusshift
        December 15, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

        Has she realized she has blackmail material on Ruth?

        • Peduncle
          Peduncle
          December 15, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

          Note the alt text on this strip.

          • Peduncle
            Peduncle
            December 15, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

            Oh phooey. I meant THIS strip.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 15, 2015 at 4:15 am | #

          ..Actually, this incident might just absolve that. Because now she’s hurt someone. I mean, what Cerberus is saying is also true, but barring Ruth forcing her hand, this might involve Ruth now going “Go for it, I’ll just let the folks who handle disputes/the law know what you did to Carla.”

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

        Except Ruth is probably at the level of self-destructive suicidal that she would welcome getting exposed and fired if it meant not having to put on a show of being functional anymore.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 15, 2015 at 6:41 am | #

          Still I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if this escalates to the point where Ruth gets involved, prompting Mary to play the “I know your secret” card. That’s going to come out eventually and this would be an unexpected way to start it.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            December 15, 2015 at 9:11 am | #

            She has no proof, it’s not a card to play.

  43. Graham
    Graham
    December 15, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    I guess I really am a monster for supporting Mary.

    • Peduncle
      Peduncle
      December 15, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      Me too. The worst I had on Mary was this strip, where she apparently had bad intentions.

    • Petra
      Petra
      December 15, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      Naw. Mary’s been pretty harmless so far. Unpleasant in pretty much every scene up to this, mind, but fairly harmless. I honestly didn’t expect this to happen, and I wonder if she didn’t anticipate the liklihood that Carla could be injured, or just didn’t CARE.

      • Liokae
        Liokae
        December 15, 2015 at 12:36 pm | #

        Why not both?

        • Petra
          Petra
          December 15, 2015 at 5:55 pm | #

          Haha. Both sounds plausible, too!

  44. Matt
    Matt
    December 15, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    I smell a law suit.

    • detective boomwolf
      detective boomwolf
      December 15, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      I smell a beatdown.

      • MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        MeghanTheDreamCrusher
        December 15, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

        I smell a second lawsuit.

        • detective boomwolf
          detective boomwolf
          December 15, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

          I smell TROUBLE!!!

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 15, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

        With all the law students around, can you say “class project”?

  45. Lia47
    Lia47
    December 15, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    the urge to put an “ACME” label in that first panel must have been strong

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 15, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      But then it wouldn’t have worked.

      Or it would’ve squirted into Mary’s face.

      Never buy ACME brand.

      • detective boomwolf
        detective boomwolf
        December 15, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

        If there’s anything we can learn from every Wile E. Coyote cartoon ever, its that Acme is the worst brand for traps ever.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 15, 2015 at 2:52 am | #

          At how much money he spent for the orders and deliveries, he could have used that to order a meal instead.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            December 15, 2015 at 2:56 am | #

            Maybe he ordered open-box returns in an attempt to save a few bucks, and that’s why nothing ever worked right!

          • Captain Button
            Captain Button
            December 15, 2015 at 3:09 am | #

            He doesn’t have money. Just buttloads of store credit from those liability suits.

  46. Arianod
    Arianod
    December 15, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

    Well, this means war (and, potentially, a trip to the hospital for Carla) Way to escalate, Mary.

  47. Tribbly
    Tribbly
    December 15, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

    YES. After spending an entire day trying to study in a computer lab with people that will not. shut. up, I can totally sympathize with Mary.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 15, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

      Ehhh, being noisy in a library is dumb, but we’re talking about mid to late morning in a dorm hallway. I mean, we’re not even talking about her roommate being noisy. If anything, this is a sign that Mary should probably consider heading to a library, or putting on music in her room (which should be sufficient to drown out whatever’s going on outside her room).

      • Toad
        Toad
        December 15, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

        Yeah, people have a right to make marginal amounts of noise in a communal living space at 11am. That said, this is some really great slapstick.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

        This. I get that noise is annoying, but there’s been a weird thread the last two days of people being like “I’m really annoyed when people are loud in a quiet space or in the middle of the night or during finals and so grr Carla” when Carla isn’t those people. She’s a person making marginally more noise than people stomping around in the halls in the middle of the day.

        At that comparison, I might as well get annoyed at the kids who run around playing tag and slamming into doors and walls outside my apartment on afternoons. But I don’t, not just because that would be douchey, but also because it’s the middle of the day. Noise happens then. Noise should happen then. We’re not in a twitch-curtain retirement suburbs. And neither are they.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          December 15, 2015 at 7:17 am | #

          Yeah, Carla is doing this intentionally to bully and annoy Mary. The utter lack of courtesy is because Carla enjoys hurting Mary. Mary is being the bullied one here.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 15, 2015 at 8:33 am | #

            Wow. What a complete misreading of the situation. Congratulations. (Hint: Annoying mary is at best a side benefit. She’s just testing out her new skates.)

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 8:33 am | #

              Also, annoying someone is not bullying them. It can be part of doing so, but it is not, ipso facto, doing so.

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            December 15, 2015 at 8:30 pm | #

            Marys isnt the Victim. That isnt what “bullying” means.
            What the hell is wrong with you ?
            Do not pass go. do not collect $200.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 8:34 pm | #

          Reading these same invert comments …I’m sure its just a massive coincidence that Carla is trans and mary is a conservative fundamentalist christian.

          Im sure this isnt some kind of secret Willis test to out the transphobes.

          Im sure ..Im not hoping he blocks them

          • Charles Phipps
            Charles Phipps
            December 15, 2015 at 10:11 pm | #

            Well, yeah, having been bullied and abused by fundamentalists for most of my life it takes a lot of effort not to hate Mary and recognize her as the victim here. Then again, reducing them to stereotypes rather than characters is easy.

            • Rartorata
              Rartorata
              December 16, 2015 at 8:50 pm | #

              Mary just assaulted another student. She is not, by any stretch, the victim.

  48. chris73
    chris73
    December 15, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

    Well its all fun and games until you break your fall with your face

  49. AutobotDen
    AutobotDen
    December 15, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

    …Seriously, Mary? You couldn’t have just tossed a pencil in her path? It would’ve tripped her up, and you wouldn’t have done property damage.

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      December 15, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      But it wouldn’t have ruined the skates.

    • Thor
      Thor
      December 15, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

      I’m baffled why Mary’s infractions are horrifying while Carla’s are glossed over.

      Besides, Mary tried the “solid obstacle” method last strip. It was super-ineffective!

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

        Carla’s infractions: Breaking a rule about skating indoors, being rude to Mary’s talking around the issue of the noise, hopping over Mary when Mary tried to block her path.

        Mary’s infractions: Refusing to move to a designated study area down the hall or downstairs (literally, Indiana University advertises having learning centers on every floor and a study area on the first floor of the dorms), being rude back by trying to lie on the floor in her path, and now, deliberate action to cause injury and destruction of property.

        It’s basically, you don’t just get to punch someone because they are being annoying writ large. Mary’s actions resulted in injury and destruction of very emotionally important personal property. Carla made Mary feel angry and impotent. Those aren’t really on the same ballpark.

        • chris73
          chris73
          December 15, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

          I think Carlas learned a valuable lesson about what is and isn’t appropriate behavior in a shared environment and the repercussions of acting without thinking

          Mary is probably about to learn the same lesson so its all good

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 15, 2015 at 2:48 am | #

            Mary’s answer really have been childish.
            It’s fun (in a comic, anyway)

        • Thor
          Thor
          December 15, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

          Sooooo…you would have approved if Mary had reported Carla’s skating in the hall to the authorities? That would be the non-rule-breaking response that was proportionate to the provocation in question. Or would you have criticized Mary for that as well?

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 1:49 am | #

            Sure. Carla would have been told off and told to knock it off. Carla would have whatevered and skated away. That’s how you’re supposed to handle it when someone is insisting on being an anti-authoritarian annoying prat. Not escalate to violence.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 15, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

              Also, I’m in the tank for Carla. Like I freely admit I’m hella biased towards her because of the representation angle.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

            Also, weren’t you saying yesterday that Mary assaulting Carla would have been really wrong and now it’s like “oh Carla had it coming”. Like, what the heck?

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 15, 2015 at 3:46 am | #

            I’d have criticized Mary for being a giant baby who can’t respond to the inevitable in a way that actually works – and that includes going to the RA (Ruth can and should stop Carla. Ruth can’t, and won’t, do shit about people having a spirited conversation, playing games in the commons, and the like. Noise is an inevitability in a dorm. You learn to deal with it, or you have an extremely unhappy life). But that’s only ineffective, not unjustified. This is unjustified.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 3:56 am | #

              Like, I recently had a living situation with a serious noise problem. My solutions were to ask the person to stop (Which I did when it was really horrible and I just needed sleep, but was a short term solution that got overwritten by one of her visitors), and to replace my headphones with bigguns The bigguns were a long term solution, and actually addressing it with her an effective, if unpalatable, short term one (I am a paranoid recluse by nature. I dislike being observed at all in living spaces. That’s on me, so I do what I can to minimize it, including finding a long term noise solution that /isn’t/ talking). Had she made horrible noise in spite of my asking, I would have gone to the Landlord – that /isn’t/ my first solution, even when it was horribly impacting my quality of life and making me completely miserable by being unable to sleep for 4 hours a day (See: Paranoid recluse who doesn’t like talking to people. Again, 100% on me), because the correct solution is always the personal one BEFORE you go to an authority who can revoke living space.

              This is a problem that had Mary the best chance of being on her side /entirely/. And if it were 12 hours later, *I would be*. But it isn’t. It’s fucking midday. An expectation of quiet in a dorm /is fucking stupid/. Even if it were fair (and it isn’t), it is a bad idea to go into the situation with that expectation, because even if it were fair, it still isn’t happening. And given what it requires of every other student, it isn’t fair barring a communal agreement.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                December 15, 2015 at 4:00 am | #

                Oh, and I wouldn’t be on her side for the destruction regardless. But at least my response to the basic situation would be “Fuck Carla”, and I would save “Fuck Mary” for when the inevitable came pouring out of her mouth.

  50. brionl
    brionl
    December 15, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NemlZxNYs0o

  51. peachst8
    peachst8
    December 15, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

    idk if anyone had guessed this because the comments section was to long for me to read through, but… these 2 are totally going to wind up on slipshine, and if that happens, I’n so just going to get a slipshine account if I have the money

    • Xerxes93
      Xerxes93
      December 15, 2015 at 5:09 am | #

      I doubt it, Carla’s ace.

  52. Jordan
    Jordan
    December 15, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

    Mary may have bitten off more than she can chew here. You don’t fuck with Carla’s skates.

  53. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 15, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

    I mean, that all kinds of smart and stupid wrapped up in one.

  54. Nena
    Nena
    December 15, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

    Mary is a bongo. I hope Carla whoops her ass!

  55. Kraken
    Kraken
    December 15, 2015 at 12:54 am | #

    Time for never ending pies in Mary’s face!

    Also I don’t think glue permanently ruins anything. Even if it’s really hard glue, you can chip it away and sand down the wheels. If anything’s broken it’s Carla’s pride face.

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      December 15, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

      It’s not that it’s on the wheels, it’s in the wheels. That’s why she fell the way she did, her wheels weren’t stuck to the ground, they stopped moving. You can’t fix that well enough for the bearings to spin evenly.

  56. doubleW
    doubleW
    December 15, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

    That glue is not ACME brand
    >:[

  57. electromagneticDestroyosaur
    electromagneticDestroyosaur
    December 15, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

    I can’t wait for Ruth to come by and chastise Mary for having a cumstain on the rug in front of her door.

  58. Thor
    Thor
    December 15, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

    Anyway, I think we are all missing the important issue here: Where can you get glue that instantaneously goes from paste to solid three seconds after you squirt it on a moving surface? That’s pretty amazing stuff.

    • avistel
      avistel
      December 15, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

      Anything getting into wheel bearings other than lubricant will be enough to do the job of slowing them down to the point of unusability, I think

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        December 15, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

        Speaking as a cyclist, you’d be surprised how long you can ride a bicycle with dirt, sand, and other shit in the bearings before they would seize up and no longer rotate.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 15, 2015 at 2:49 am | #

          your wheels are a lot bigger, tho.

        • Bicycle Bill
          Bicycle Bill
          December 15, 2015 at 4:15 am | #

          True that, but most bearings in bicycle wheels, skateboard wheels, and (I would assume) roller-skate wheels are sealed bearings.  The days of loose ball bearings, cones, and races that have to be hand-packed with thick grease are long gone.

          • Eric
            Eric
            December 15, 2015 at 6:49 am | #

            Skate wheels are sealed, yes.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      December 15, 2015 at 8:07 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tPxfdK5wtk

      Assuming that isn’t fake, Gorilla Glue can probably do it.

      • Thor
        Thor
        December 15, 2015 at 5:16 pm | #

        In the video, the caption states that the curing time for the glue was 24 hours. This glue didn’t even cure for 24 seconds.

        With any adhesive there are usually three things you need. Time for the adhesive to form bonds with both the surfaces and itself, directed pressure to force the adhesive into as many nooks and crannies as possible, and motionlessness to prevent the fragile new chemical bonds from being broken. In this case, none of those factors are working to the adhesive’s advantage.

        It would not surprise me that this glue’s brand name is “Rule of Funny” because that’s about the only reasonable explanation. And given that, everyone worried about Carla’s health and well-being can likely just chillax a little. This is clearly a comedy prat-fall, and not a life-endangering spill.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 15, 2015 at 8:24 pm | #

        I said the same thing. Ive used it before.

  59. avistel
    avistel
    December 15, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

    Mmm. Prediction: the situation escalates to the point where the RA has to intervene. Mary tries to use her knowledge of Ruth and Billie’s to blackmail Ruth into acting in her favor.

    That’s all I got. Not much of a prophecy, I know. I’ll buy melange from a different guy next time.

  60. Someone
    Someone
    December 15, 2015 at 1:04 am | #

    What Mary should have done was to take the glue bottle and cut a few small holes in it. So when Carla runs over it, it tears open, achieving the same effect, and making the crime harder to trace back to her.

  61. FriendlyNeighborhoodDave
    FriendlyNeighborhoodDave
    December 15, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

    Well, that sure escalated quickly. Anyone else see the beginnings of a wacky sitcom on ABC?

  62. Androiddreams
    Androiddreams
    December 15, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

    I work with a lot of different types of glue, and I can tell you, that’s not how glue works. or how stepping on tubes of glue works. or falling over works. I can definitely see her losing her balance from the sudden friction, but Carlas a skater, right? I thought people learned to twist when they fell and such. on the other hand this was highly enjoyable

    • Lia47
      Lia47
      December 15, 2015 at 1:49 am | #

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ugebzq3juE&feature=youtu.be&t=6s

  63. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 15, 2015 at 1:06 am | #

    It’s all fun and game until someone looses an eye…

  64. Dara
    Dara
    December 15, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

    I’m a little bit surprised that the alt text wasn’t, “Strong stuff.”

  65. Triniking1234
    Triniking1234
    December 15, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

    That worked? Well, time to test this at-

    *reads alt text*

    🙁

  66. Powys
    Powys
    December 15, 2015 at 1:22 am | #

    Yeah, I got zero sympathy for a person skating indoors when the entire outdoors is right there and completely available for free. Mary should’ve gone to a “designated study zone” or sucked it up? Yeah, no, Carla should’ve gone to a “designated skating zone”. Guess she’s sucking it up now.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

      IT’S DOWN THE FREAKING HALL!

      This isn’t some major imposition on Mary’s part. She literally has to spend less effort than she did trying to stop Carla to move to that location. And let’s say Carla is out of commission and not looking to pay back that “favor”? Mary has bought herself at maximum a little less than an hour of studying time before the morning crowd starts tramping back in and in the meantime, there’s probably going to be plenty more noise.

      People who want quiet studying during the day in a living space need to either get a device to block out noise or get used to going into the study room.

      Yeah, Carla’s a jerk who was doing dumb shit, but that’s college. Kids doing dumbass shit all the time. Doesn’t mean you injure them for it.

      • chris73
        chris73
        December 15, 2015 at 2:17 am | #

        Whos being more unreasonable here, Mary for being annoyed at the swishing sound of Carla skating or Carla for skating in the dorm?

        Carla started it, Mary continued it and Carla ended up losing (thus far) they’re both being dumb about it but Carla, at any point, could have gone outside and skated but she chose to annoy Mary and Mary chose to escalate it

        They both made choices so in this instance they’re as bad as each other and neither deserve sympathy

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          December 15, 2015 at 2:30 am | #

          Mary for injuring someone over being annoying.

          I mean, Mary can totally be annoyed by Carla. Carla was doing something annoying and stupid. She didn’t have much of a leg to stand on outside of narcing on her to the RA for skating in the halls, but she had a right to feel annoyed.

          Carla was doing something incredibly dumb for no apparent good reason. That is indeed what she was doing and she wasn’t all that keen in knocking it off just because someone invokes authority. That is a stupid annoying action.

          But that doesn’t mean Mary got to hurt her and break her stuff for it. And it doesn’t mean that Mary shouldn’t have accepted that annoying stuff happens in dorms during the day and moved on to a study center.

          Cause it comes to actions vs expectations.

          Carla was doing an unreasonable action: skating indoors like a jackass.

          Mary had an unreasonable expectation: everything must be quiet when I want to study even though it’s during the day in a dorm with kids doing all sorts of loud shit.

          And Mary escalated that unreasonable expectation into an unreasonable and immoral action: hurting someone for annoying them. And that action and the way that Mary avoided any easy peaceful resolution to the situation really reveals and cements (heh) Mary’s personality.

          It’s the abuser who wants the excuse to hurt you. To have you “bring this upon yourself” by defying or resisting them. The one who escalates something stupid or relatively normal into a whole nother level.

          And that is worth analyzing for Mary’s character. Carla is a loud jerk who doesn’t want to disappear into the sidelines and be forgotten and who has no respect for authority and even less for faux-thority. But Mary is dangerous. And that might be an important point as Mary continues to plot out her drawn-out plot against Ruth and Billie.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 15, 2015 at 2:32 am | #

            Also, not related to you, but what’s with all the people who seem to not get that you can’t just injure and hurt people just because they annoy you?

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 15, 2015 at 2:44 am | #

              Oh and for why I sound like an exasperated teacher on that point is because back when I worked primarily with young elementary school kids, that composed a good 70% of all my behavioral interventions.

              I don’t care if you think Bobby was hogging the glue, you don’t get to hit him over the head. Now go apologize and politely ask if you can borrow his glue.

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                December 15, 2015 at 8:15 am | #

                I understand; I have young kids and I have to say, “No, you don’t get to hit people for being annoying!” far too often. Mind you, after I tell the hitter to use their words and ask them nicely to stop the annoying behaviour, I then turn to the other one and tell them, look, they just told you it was being annoying and asked you nicely to stop, SO STOP.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 15, 2015 at 9:45 am | #

                  Oh very much so, though I’d leave that out if violence occurred just because I didn’t want to start a false equivalence between the situations, so in that case, I’d just that for after the student asked nicely, I’d encourage the other student to respond in kind.

                  And in general, I would reward students who use their words rather than escalate a conflict by pulling aside the student who’s just being annoying and give them a short talk about respecting people’s nos, sharing, and so on.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 3:32 am | #

              It’s like violence is normalized as a solution to problems in the states!

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 15, 2015 at 3:30 am | #

            I actually have trouble contextualizing what Carla’s doing as particularly annoying – what I /do/ have an easy time with is unsafe. Because it is, like running in the halls. I suspect she thinks she’s ‘good enough’ that there won’t be any problem.

          • chris73
            chris73
            December 15, 2015 at 1:22 pm | #

            Carla escalated the situation, she was asked to stop (she understood what Mary was saying) and refused.

            It would take her about 5 minutes to leave the dorm to go outside but how long would it take Mary to gather up what she needs to study and go to the library, maybe half an hour minimum?

            I don’t believe Mary has an unreasonable expectation when it comes to noise, it appears to me that this particular noise was the aural equivalent of someone going “I’m not touching you” in that its a noise thats probably uncommon in the dorm.

            This is not a case of an abuser wanting an excuse to hurt you, its a case of Mary wanting Carla to stop antagonizing her.

            She first asked her to stop and Carla refused, Mary then lay in the hallway (which is only marginally less offensive then skating) and Carla responded by jumping

            In this instance Carla wanted a reaction from Mary and she got a reaction, just not the one she was looking for.

            I think Mary will suffer repercussions for her actions and thats fine but remember this all could have been avoided by Carla skating outside

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 5:46 pm | #

              …it’s a college campus. If Mary needs 15 minutes to get to the library, she’s horribly out of shape or physically disabled. And she needs less than 5 minutes, because there are literally study rooms less than 5 minutes away, on the same damn floor. This all could have been avoided by Mary USING those resources, because the quiet she allegedly wants is not a reasonable request at this hour outside of those designated spaces.

              Carla shouldn’t have been skating up there, but it has less than nothing to do with Mary’s annoyance at it (It’s not like Mary has expressed concern for her own or anyone else’s safety. Probably because, like Carla, she too is invincible.) Carla stopping woulda been nice, from the perspective of Mary’s annoyance, but isn’t really different than continuing to talk in a communal area just because someone’s annoyed you’re ‘loud’. Especially if you’re talking at a normal volume.

              • Petra
                Petra
                December 15, 2015 at 6:02 pm | #

                Well, sometimes campuses are fairly big and certain dorms are far away from the library, but there also tends to be study rooms (or lounges you can sign in for) in dorms, so yeah. Mary is having an unreasonable expectation about the noise, Carla is doing something dangerous. It’s the ESCALATION that really makes me dislike Mary.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 15, 2015 at 8:11 am | #

          Carla shouldn’t have been skating there; but seriously, how hard would it have been for Mary to ask her nicely to go down the other end or what? As others have said, yeah, no skating; but it’s also the middle of the day and “skff skff” isn’t like she’s running an ATV out there.

          –Okay, this is Mary; asking nicely probably would have killed her. But you know what I mean.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 8:20 pm | #

          “Whos being more unreasonable here, Mary …or Carla …?”

          I pick C: You are.

          the characters are fictional and ultimately dont know better,
          You on the otherhand, are a real human, and are siding with a bigot who attacked a trans women , for a expressing consistent character trait; one she displayed in every comic she was in .

          • chris73
            chris73
            December 15, 2015 at 9:57 pm | #

            Correct, I’m siding with a bigot in this particular instance because, to me, this is not about Mary being a bigot (I get the feeling she’d do this with anyone not just Carla) but Carla being more rude and obnoxious then Mary is.

            • Rartorata
              Rartorata
              December 16, 2015 at 11:21 pm | #

              I wasn’t aware that a noise violation was worse than assault and battery, but sure, pal. Whatever you say.

        • Rartorata
          Rartorata
          December 16, 2015 at 8:59 pm | #

          How is it SO HARD for you to understand that annoying someone and assaulting someone are NOT equivalent?
          Carla was being a jerk, yes, but Mary is the only one who committed an ACTUAL CRIMINAL OFFENCE.

  67. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    December 15, 2015 at 1:27 am | #

    And on this day Carla quoted the Vedas “Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.” What would result was a prank war that left dozens injured, two dorm floors destroyed, and at least one student only able to say “It was like something outta Tom and Jerry. It was like something out of Tom and Jerry!”. It made the prank war of 1986 look like a simple prank skirmish. To this day no one knows who won…

  68. Tenchan
    Tenchan
    December 15, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

    Noooo! Damn you to hell Mary! Damn you to hell!!! And here I was hoping this would be like a roadrunner skit.

    Carla: Meep, meep!

  69. Lordess of Madness
    Lordess of Madness
    December 15, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

    Ever heard of headphones, mary?

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 15, 2015 at 3:02 am | #

      Earplugs underneath those over-the-ear hearing protectors. She could study through the apocalypse with those on. (Substitute earbuds and you can listen to music with less background noise. Great for mowing lawns!)

      • Lordess of Madness
        Lordess of Madness
        December 16, 2015 at 4:39 am | #

        Yeah, I know! I always have earbuds in in class. Noisy classmates

  70. WingedBeast
    WingedBeast
    December 15, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

    Mary, this does not end well for you. What you’ve just done is make Carla the injured party in this.

    Just report her and you’re the injured party, who’s just trying to study in a college where study is what people do. But, now she’s the injured party, likely because of actual injury… that you caused and is the reasonably predicted outcome of what you did.

    She could have gotten a talking-to by Ruth, now you could get expelled.

    • Luzahn
      Luzahn
      December 15, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

      Loony-tunes style suspension of disbelief aside, yeah, Mary could be in a lot of trouble here. I’m willing to bet that Carla wouldn’t bother reporting it, though; she seems much more the type to reject the assistance of authorities and resolve things personally.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 15, 2015 at 1:58 am | #

        This. Instead Mary just lost a lot of future studying time and relaxing time as Carla accepts this as a gauntlet thrown down for a prank duel.

  71. Betsumei
    Betsumei
    December 15, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

    I’m left wondering how much of this is “Carla enjoys antagonizing people”, and how much of it is “Carla knows Mary’s a vicious homophobe and feels like antagonizing her in specific”. It’s not like Mary keeps those “opinions” to herself, after all.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 2:35 am | #

      That’s… that’s a really good point. Given that Mary has been making catty remarks about queerness to a lot of different people, it is possible that Carla has cottoned on.

      I suspect it’s mostly undirected in a “oh hey, free empty hallway during a relative quiet period, I’mma skate now with my new skates” way and the annoyance of someone all authoritarian and bigoted was the icing on the cake, but that’s a really interesting idea to think about.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 15, 2015 at 3:37 am | #

      Like I said: I suspect the general policy of the hall is “Fuck Mary”, because there are plenty of queer people and even if there weren’t /any/, she’s a complete asshole to everyone – even *Joyce* doesn’t avoid it entirely, just mostly. And also, there are plenty of queer people, who would be on friendlier terms because they aren’t complete assholes to everyone (RUTH is demonstrably more helpful). And Carla /is/ one of those queer people. I avoided it, for the most part, yesterday. But let’s not pretend that ‘Fuck Mary’ is an unreasonable choice of interpersonal policies. You don’t get to be a complete and total asshole in every way, then complain when the people you’re an asshole to screw you over in minor ways for it.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        December 15, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

        Yeah, does Mary have any friends whatsoever? Like, Joyce was at least willing to ASSOCIATE with her as of the whiteboard dingdong bandit incident, but I suspect after that “lesbian acts” bit she’s going to be a lot warier of her because, hey, you don’t get to say that shit about her best friend. And even then, there’s a difference between associate and someone you actually like. The bridge is burned with Roz, Sierra’s probably not fond of her for going after Dorothy, Agatha’s a Mormon… even with the background characters, I think Mary’s managed to explicitly alienate a good chunk of the dorm.

        • Amazi-Stool
          Amazi-Stool
          December 15, 2015 at 3:06 pm | #

          Joyce was already critical about Mary before knowing that Becky was a lesbian.

    • Gecko
      Gecko
      December 15, 2015 at 8:56 am | #

      I could see that as an added bonus for Carla, even though I think her skating in there to start with had nothing to do with Mary. Yeah. Or at least, she wouldn’t feel one bit bad that she’s making life a teensy bit hard for Mary for a moment considering Mary happily supports making life harder for people like Carla.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 15, 2015 at 8:07 pm | #

      I think your point is more right as a series of predictions , than insight.

      I would expect Mary to now make the top of Carlas shit list.

  72. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 15, 2015 at 2:18 am | #

    Naughty Mary, vandalising the hallway like that! What would Mummy and Daddy say! Let alone the pastor?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      December 15, 2015 at 10:10 am | #

      They would of course support her righteous cause in punishing the infidel. (Note that Mary still probably doesn’t know Carla’s trans, but “not complying with Mary’s every whim” is reason enough for Mary to pitch a fit. See also, Riley.)

  73. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 15, 2015 at 2:18 am | #

    Hahaha… ha. Now you’re both idiots that will end having to repair the hall floor ^^;

  74. nothri
    nothri
    December 15, 2015 at 2:26 am | #

    I was unaware your average glue could dry that fast. Then again my main exposure to such was middle school arts and crafts.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 15, 2015 at 2:32 am | #

      Could be super glue or rubber cement. Those dry much faster.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 15, 2015 at 4:22 am | #

      Comic-verse fiat physics and chemistry! It does what the author wants when he wants it to!

  75. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    December 15, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

    Of course you know this means war.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 15, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

      Of course you know this means war.

  76. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    December 15, 2015 at 2:37 am | #

    Ouch.

  77. Torra
    Torra
    December 15, 2015 at 2:38 am | #

    Ohhhh that’s gonna be something you regret doing Mary

  78. podian
    podian
    December 15, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

    To be fair, were it not for the fact that that’s Mary, you’d all cheer for her.

    • Blackbird
      Blackbird
      December 15, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

      It’s more that it’s Carla. I think everyone would still cheer Mary if she did it to a less popular character.

    • lime sheep
      lime sheep
      December 15, 2015 at 4:02 am | #

      yeah, no, i dont get in the habit of excusing shitty behavior from characters just because i like them

    • Gecko
      Gecko
      December 15, 2015 at 9:03 am | #

      I did a quick run with other characters in my head and, no, I would still think they were crossing the line by potentially causing someone a broken nose for being annoying. I just cringed harder when I pictured my favorite characters doing it. Ruth is one of my favorites and I’ve still disliked most times she’s used disproportionate retribution.
      But on a story level, I appreciate that characters I like can do things I don’t agree with.

    • Petra
      Petra
      December 15, 2015 at 6:04 pm | #

      Nope! I was actually on Mary’s side before this, more or less, and I dislike her. If Sal did this, I’d STILL think it was way over the line. Now, this is a comic strip, and people have noted Carla’s skates seem fine in previews, so probably no lasting damage is done. But that doesn’t mean Mary was right, it means Carla was lucky.

  79. Gamaran Sepudomyn
    Gamaran Sepudomyn
    December 15, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

    Since Mary seems to be channeling Looney Tunes, clearly the next strip is about Carla finding an anvil.

  80. Rob
    Rob
    December 15, 2015 at 3:04 am | #

    Wait a second… why isn’t Mary wearing a skirt?

    • Gangler
      Gangler
      December 15, 2015 at 3:23 am | #

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/mary/

      She usually doesn’t wear a skirt. Pants and Shorts seem to be her preferred legwear.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        December 15, 2015 at 8:19 am | #

        –And always, always, the wristbands. SO Nineteen Eighty-six. I suspect she’s hiding scars from a suicide attempt. I wonder if the no-skirts thing is related?

        Or maybe, like me, she just hates skirts.

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 15, 2015 at 10:46 am | #

          Looking the the link above: She’s worn two different skirts, so she isn’t completely opposed to them. And she often has bare legs with shorts, so she isn’t hiding something there.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 15, 2015 at 10:49 am | #

          I still think so too.

          I dunno, are wristbands a consistent fashion choice for women nowadays? I can’t think of any reason why she’d always have her wrists covered up.

          I guess the only sticking point for it is whether Mary having the same thing going on as Sal would be redundant.

          • Sam
            Sam
            December 15, 2015 at 3:09 pm | #

            Ohh geez…that’s terrible. I sincerely hope it’s just her making a fashion statement.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              December 15, 2015 at 3:34 pm | #

              It’s possible we’re looking too deep into things; the last time we thought Mary had a heel turn in It’s Walky! she ended up telling Sal her parents died because she was a terrible person, but it’s just an odd point to the character design that her wrists are always covered up.

        • Dragon_Nataku
          Dragon_Nataku
          December 15, 2015 at 12:13 pm | #

          I was wondering this too. That’s certainly why I wear them. But… she’s so self-righteous and full of herself I don’t really see what reason she’d have for attempting suicide? Unless the thing she did in college in Roomies happened in high school in this universe? (the whole unmarried pregnancy thing) That might do it. I don’t know. Mysteries of the multiverse~

          • Cattleprod
            Cattleprod
            December 15, 2015 at 1:37 pm | #

            Or her self-righteousness is a shift in her personality that occurred after surviving. Or maybe she’s just one of those people who focus on condemning other people’s problems to draw attention away from their own.

            (And I’m still not quite sure what Mary’s skirt-status has to do with any of this.)

            • Amazi-Stool
              Amazi-Stool
              December 15, 2015 at 3:26 pm | #

              And I’m still not quite sure what Mary’s skirt-status has to do with any of this.
              Mary is a fundamentalist christian, and it’s not difficult to find fundamentalist groups opposing women in pants:
              http://sistersinskirts.com/
              “Women Wear Skirts to Defy Satan’s Gender Bending Scheme”

              • Cattleprod
                Cattleprod
                December 15, 2015 at 3:42 pm | #

                Ah, yeah, I actually vaguely recall thinking it was odd Joyce never wore skirts when I started reading Roomies for similar reasons (but it was more about her personality than any fundamentalist thing, since I didn’t even know she was supposed to be particularly religious at the time). It’s just odd to comment on it now when Mary has not only worn pants before, she’s worn them far more often than skirts. It comes across as random, like asking why she’s hatless.

                • Dragon_Nataku
                  Dragon_Nataku
                  December 15, 2015 at 6:26 pm | #

                  I for one would like to know why she lacks a hat. I demand more hats!

                • Captain Button
                  Captain Button
                  December 15, 2015 at 6:58 pm | #

                  People aren’t wearing enough hats

  81. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    December 15, 2015 at 3:07 am | #

    It’s that episode of MASH where Frank and Hawkeye are bickering in the OR, then in the scrub room Frank whips him with a towel. Hawkeye punches Frank in the face and gets put under house arrest pending dishonorable discharge.

  82. Jake
    Jake
    December 15, 2015 at 3:27 am | #

    welp, that’s the end of the wacky hijinks. next up, Mary’s inevitable outburst of transmisogyny. because I can’t see any other reason for pairing these two together like this.

  83. Paul
    Paul
    December 15, 2015 at 3:54 am | #

    The root of “dormitory”, “dorm”, refers to sleep. The entire building exist for the purpose of sleeping. Any activity destructive to that end needs to be terminated with extreme prejudice.

    /Hated living in the dorms

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 15, 2015 at 4:02 am | #

      Wow. What a completely foolish set of assumptions. The purpose of the building is to live in. Being a giant asshole who can’t stand people living is far worse than a little noise.

      • EvolutionistX
        EvolutionistX
        December 15, 2015 at 4:28 am | #

        There’s obviously a balance between “living” and “sleeping.” Humans have a legitimate need for sleep (and college students generally have a legitimate need for reasonably quiet places to get their work done), and if your neighbors are noisy late into the night, this can interfere in a serious way with your ability to, well, live.

        I (almost) always got lucky with my roommates/dormmates, but I know many folks who did not. Without knowing Paul’s specific situation, I have no idea whether he had a neighbor who got it into his head to build furniture and operate heavy machinery at 2 am or if he was the kind of guy to call the cops on his neighbors for giggling after 9pm, but obviously one of these is legit annoying and one isn’t.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 15, 2015 at 4:56 am | #

          Right. If this were night, it’d be a different story. But it’s day. She’s not doing this shit during designated Quiet times (I don’t know when that is exactly here, but my experience with dorms is ‘Starts in the late evening or incredibly early morning, ends in the morning around when classes start en masse) Right now, it’s day, though. Carla’s not interfering with that here.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 15, 2015 at 4:57 am | #

            And Paul’s kinda using Carla as his basis for making the claim (He may have had a personal situation in mind, but he’s talking about her right now, at least with what he actually said).

          • Untes
            Untes
            December 15, 2015 at 5:53 am | #

            It’s Day? There’s been zero external shots. It could be night.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 6:05 am | #

              It’s a jump shot after a bunch of daylight scenes to completely unrelated characters. It’s a /bit/ of a guess to say it’s before noon, but it’s almost definitely not later than the afternoon (We’re probably going to jump back to Joyce n’ Co. when they arrive back at the dorms in the afternoon). The fact that nobody else was complaining helps a /bit/ (they’d mostly be in class), but that can be explained by narrative, if not by schedule.

            • saltchocolate
              saltchocolate
              December 15, 2015 at 6:47 am | #

              The Willis’s Twitter said it’s 11:00 am.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 15, 2015 at 8:31 am | #

          A guy I know comes home after work and then takes a nap on the sofa, pretty much every day. He then yells at their kids for being “too noisy when [he’s] trying to sleep,” but refuses to go into the bedroom, because he’s “just having a nap.”

          Seems to have missed entirely the point of it being a living room and not a bed room. For sleeping in.

          –My point is that, yes, if someone is trying to sleep then keep it down; but if it’s the middle of the day, you aren’t working graveyards, and the kids just got home from school, then expecting everyone else to not make any noise in the room for hanging out in when you’re awake so you can sleep in the room and at a time that is not usual for sleeping is not reasonable, especially not when an alternative is available (sleeping in the room designated for sleeping in).

          Should Carla be skating inside? No. Should she move on when asked nicely to do so? Yes. Did Mary nicely ask her? No. She was extremely rude, which is a terrible way to get anyone to do anything for you, let alone to go out of their way to do it. Should Carla have moved on anyways? Well, yeah, but it’s Mary demanding it, and Carla, so that’s probably not going to happen just because of the personalities involved.

          Should Mary expect perfect quiet in the living space of a college during the daytime, when people are actively using it?

          Nope.

          Does she have alternative study places where she can reasonably expect a level of peace and quiet, or are there ways to block out the noise? Yes.

          Is damaging personal property and attempting bodily harm (the latter, twice now) an appropriate reaction to being annoyed?

          Fuck, no.

      • Amazi-Stool
        Amazi-Stool
        December 15, 2015 at 3:32 pm | #

        Wow. What a completely broken sarcasm detector.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 16, 2015 at 11:03 pm | #

          Was Satire not enough for privileged people? Must you ruin Sarcasm too?

  84. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 15, 2015 at 3:59 am | #

    Tit for tat for those two.

  85. Rutee
    Rutee
    December 15, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

    Here’s hoping Carla just needs some solvent, not new skates again.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      December 15, 2015 at 8:34 am | #

      Personally I don’t know of any solvent that would take off super-glue to the level required for the proper functioning of the skates without damaging the plastic/nylon parts of the skates. She’s probably going to need new wheels.

      Mary is a conga.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        December 15, 2015 at 8:52 am | #

        …oh I like that.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 15, 2015 at 7:56 pm | #

        Is “conga” your invention or an auto-replace?

        • anonymsly
          anonymsly
          December 15, 2015 at 9:43 pm | #

          I think a conga is just a bigger drum than a bongo.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 16, 2015 at 8:28 am | #

          Totally my own; and what happens when a bongo gets bigger. 😉

  86. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 15, 2015 at 4:26 am | #

    PREDICTION:
    Mary and Carla’s collision is going to escalate all the way to a formal complaint that Ruth, as RA for the floor, ends up being instructed to mediate. Given her mood at the moment, that isn’t a formula for a calm, reasoned mediation session or a good outcome.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 15, 2015 at 9:35 am | #

      No femurs, no skating.

      No femurs, no glue stomping.

      Problems solved.

      Pace Joyce, you don’t actually need your femurs to live.

      • Thor
        Thor
        December 15, 2015 at 5:21 pm | #

        Best post. Thread over.

  87. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    December 15, 2015 at 5:15 am | #

    That escalated quickly. I mean, I was kinda on Mary’s side before now, but that was taking it a bit too far.

  88. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    December 15, 2015 at 5:35 am | #

    Wow, what that is some really quick drying glue.

    • TheNinthShader
      TheNinthShader
      December 15, 2015 at 7:21 am | #

      I thought it was toothpaste.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 15, 2015 at 3:22 pm | #

      Some “hot” formulations of super glue set almost instantly.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        December 15, 2015 at 6:20 pm | #

        I’ve had epoxy flash cure while I was still mixing it. That’s freaky.

        Never seen anything that would actually work like this Glue though – stable in the tube and sets hards enough to trip a skater in seconds?

        Rule of Funny, basically.

  89. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    December 15, 2015 at 6:31 am | #

    They’re both in the wrong. Don’t be pro-Carla because she’s trans and anti-Mary because she’s aggressively Christian. What if this was Mike VS Malaya? He would have pulled out the glue yesterday. Or what if you saw Mary as previously suicidal and Carla as an asshole (both correct).

    As an RA, I’d not allow Carla to skate in the dorms anymore and Mary to repair/reimburse her skates.

    • Gecko
      Gecko
      December 15, 2015 at 9:11 am | #

      I agree with how you’d have dealt with this as their RA. But none of the things you mentioned would make me think the glue user is in the right, or cheer them on.
      I cheer the story on because I want to see what this escalates to and where it leads, but I don’t cheer for any character pulling this kind of stunt when he stakes are this low.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 15, 2015 at 10:34 am | #

      I’m pro-Carla because she’s hilarious and awesome, and also trans characters are woefully underrepresented in media so seeing them as prominent characters is genuinely important, let alone when they’re as entertaining and well written as Carla. I’m “anti-Mary” despite her conservative fundamentalist Christian status; if I felt like that then I’d have fired Joyce and Becky into the sun by now.

    • smooti
      smooti
      December 15, 2015 at 12:13 pm | #

      Whoa, wait, Mary was previously suicidal? Am I just forgetting something or am I blocking out actual characterization Mary has

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 15, 2015 at 12:27 pm | #

        It’s just a theory. Some of us are thinking that Mary might have previously self-harmed.

        Mary in the other verse, where she was the exact same brand of unpleasantness, had no such tragedy in her backstory.

    • zalf
      zalf
      December 15, 2015 at 4:42 pm | #

      Frankly I couldn’t care less if Carla was trans or not (actually didn’t know). While I don’t necessarily agree with her skating in the halls, since against the rules or not its just seems silly, Mary is also handling this in the most petty and insecure way possible.

      Also if it were Mike he probably wouldn’t bother with glue or lying down in from of her, he would have just got straight to the point and tripped her. He’s a jerk but he is not petty.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 15, 2015 at 7:52 pm | #

      Wow.
      Its funny how you demanded people check their solidarity with marginalized people… but somehow forgot to ask people to check their privilege.
      Funny that.

      see: ‘Don’t be pro-Carla because she’s trans and anti-Mary because she’s aggressively Christian.’
      But you *didnt* tell people NOt to take Marys side just because shes conservative christian,
      or not to take Marys side because she a hateful bigot,
      or Not to use this as the flimsiest excuse to pile on Carla because shes trans.

  90. Eric
    Eric
    December 15, 2015 at 6:46 am | #

    MAN! Just LOOK how much studying Mary is getting done!

  91. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    December 15, 2015 at 7:18 am | #

    All I know is nothing prevented Carla from moving away from Mary when asked to other than the fact she wanted to be a jerk.

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      December 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

      So Mary was right in attempting to inflict injury? Still seems really petty to me.

      • JWLM
        JWLM
        December 15, 2015 at 3:35 pm | #

        If Joyce was right to deck ToeDad, then, yes, as a matter of fact. Remember, ToeDad hadn’t done Joyce any harm.

        Carla is a bully, a total jerk who gets off tormenting others. She thinks she’s protected by running up to the line and then leaving people helpless to deal with her.

        Well, she just learned a lesson: not everyone has her same limit. And, as someone who was bullied (up to and including broken bones), I’m all in favor of kicking bully ass.

        So, sorry, Carla — I hope your skates are ruined.

        • Greenygal
          Greenygal
          December 15, 2015 at 4:01 pm | #

          Uh. If physical violence is justified against someone who threatens you with a gun and abducts your friend, it must also be justified against someone who skates in a hallway? Those really seem like comparable situations?

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 15, 2015 at 6:00 pm | #

          Joyce was right in this comic:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/strength-2/

          And wrong in this one:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/damn/

          In the top comic, he still represents an active threat who is threatening to physically kidnap someone; Preventing someone from acting out a felony of physical harm against either oneself *or another person* is, loosely, the most important element of Self Defense as a justification in a court of law (There are others, but Joyce meets the common ones). In the bottom comic, he is neutralized, so further violence is not justified, period (I’m sure there was plenty of ‘don’t stop her Becky’ and the like. Those people were wrong).

          But an active threat of felonious harm is NOT Carla (What she’s doing isn’t even a misdemeanor, I /think/). I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing comparing her to Toedad at all, unless you somehow think there’s an equivalence. Or maybe you think Joyce was justified in bashing downed Toedad further, in some sort of un-novel twist on 24 ethics where the virtue of the actor in general is all that matters, not the ethics of the action?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            December 15, 2015 at 6:14 pm | #

            Meh. Those are two different scenes to us, but they’re a matter of seconds to Joyce. And when you’re dealing with a dangerous threat that’s twice your size, hitting a couple more times to make sure he stays down isn’t beyond the pale. That’s even leaving out basic psychology – the fight or flight reflex doesn’t turn off on a dime like that.
            Given that the initial scene was justified, not a jury in the world would convict for the next strip.

            Now, if she’d just walked on the scene in that second strip, with Ross already down, that would be a completely different story.

            Nor do I have any idea what it’s got to with Carla and Mary.:)

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 15, 2015 at 11:50 pm | #

              That ain’t fight or flight. That’s rage. I’m not convinced it was fight or flight to start with, certainly not to stop.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          December 15, 2015 at 7:44 pm | #

          You do realize not a single one of these things:
          “Carla is a bully, a total jerk who gets off tormenting others. She thinks she’s protected by running up to the line and then leaving people helpless to deal with her.”

          Have happned in this comic right?

          Are you confusing Ultra-Car in shortpacked , with Carla in DOA?

        • Lord Stoneheart
          Lord Stoneheart
          December 15, 2015 at 8:29 pm | #

          Uh, mostly what Rutee said regarding the morality of Joyce’s actions. Also I have no idea how Carla being obnoxious is anyway equivalent to threatening people with a gun, and kidnapping.

          In any case this is all probably just some comic slapstick. I’m just confused by some people who are cheering for violence against obnoxious people.

    • zalf
      zalf
      December 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm | #

      The this is, she didn’t really ask. There is a world of difference between, “Hey would you mind keeping it down or skating elsewhere, I’m trying to study” and “Could you not…” The former is trying to be polite, while the later carries a whole air of superiority that most people probably wouldn’t respond well too. Either way the correct next step is report her and/or walk away, not just straight to assault.

  92. TheNinthShader
    TheNinthShader
    December 15, 2015 at 7:20 am | #

    So toothpaste stops wheels?

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 15, 2015 at 8:33 am | #

      Toothpaste clearly labeled “GLUE” is pretty effective at sticking to things, yeah. See the first panel.

  93. Max
    Max
    December 15, 2015 at 7:22 am | #

    This comic slowly becomes nothing more than Mary and Carla doing Road Runner/Coyote gags.

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 15, 2015 at 2:49 pm | #

      I support this development. #NoMoreAngst

  94. Jack Stamper
    Jack Stamper
    December 15, 2015 at 7:36 am | #

    Not gonna lie…that was actually quite clever of Mary
    Not the right solution, but for what she was going for, this worked quite well.

    And while she was very quick to resort to these methods, I don’t really think talking to Carla would’ve yielded that many results, seeing how she acted, and she tried a route of nonviolent opposition before…still: She could’ve talked to Ruth. Carla, on the other hand clearly violated a couple of laws in total disrespect to her fellow colleagues. So…no, I’m on neither side

  95. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    December 15, 2015 at 7:58 am | #

    welp
    Mary’s gonna get chewed out for this one.

    • notlegato
      notlegato
      December 15, 2015 at 8:26 am | #

      hopefully literally.

  96. Trolldrool
    Trolldrool
    December 15, 2015 at 8:00 am | #

    Regardless of whether or not Mary overreacted, Carla was still out of line. There’s no reason she couldn’t have taken this somewhere else. Mary is without a doubt one of the most horrible students in the comic so far, but that doesn’t mean that the transgressions of those she’s being horrible to become any less intolerable by default.

  97. raza
    raza
    December 15, 2015 at 8:32 am | #

    Wheels are really expensive! Like really really pricey! Uhhhhg I’d be so pissed if someone got my wheels all gluey.

  98. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    December 15, 2015 at 8:32 am | #

    First time in a while I had to keep from laughing or be kicked out of the office. Reminds me a lot of Wile E. Coyote vs the Road Runner.

  99. morg
    morg
    December 15, 2015 at 8:39 am | #

    I’m for Carla.

    This is daytime right? How loud can her skates be? On carpet! In a real dorm building there are tons of people talking, a blender or two and a creaky bed making noises at all time. For me that was a good thing. I can’t stand total quiet. So long as it’s background noise.. just random people, not people talking to me that’s how I do my best work. For those that can’t concentrate with noise… the dorm is NOT the place to study. Either way.. I doubt Carla was the loudest thing out there anyway. Mary is just being a jerk.

  100. morg
    morg
    December 15, 2015 at 8:42 am | #

    Anyone else thinking.. these are Carla’s new skates.. now with glue in the bearings. She may be hurt but unless we are talking hospital time I bet the skates are the bigger issue to her. They were probably expensive, they aren’t just toys to Carla. I think Mary is going down like the O’Doyles!

  101. JasonAW3
    JasonAW3
    December 15, 2015 at 9:03 am | #

    You realise, of course, that this means war…

  102. Shawn L.
    Shawn L.
    December 15, 2015 at 9:17 am | #

    And welcome to DoA’s tribute to Chuck Jones cartoons.

  103. Uniquitous
    Uniquitous
    December 15, 2015 at 9:29 am | #

    Argh, why must Mary be such a [REDACTED]!?

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 15, 2015 at 7:34 pm | #

      was “redacted” a real word ?
      ( the C-word maybe? )

  104. smooti
    smooti
    December 15, 2015 at 9:29 am | #

    Carla gets up next panel, her bill on the other side of her head. She adjusts it and declares:
    “Of course you know, this means war.”

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 15, 2015 at 9:44 am | #

      “You’re Desthh-picable!”

  105. Regalli
    Regalli
    December 15, 2015 at 9:49 am | #

    Wow, there’s petty and then there’s this.

  106. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    December 15, 2015 at 9:59 am | #

    Let the spiral into madness and hatesex commence …

  107. Steve
    Steve
    December 15, 2015 at 10:33 am | #

    While I loathe either character interacting with anyone else, watching these two jerks go at each other is turning out to be fun! If nothing else, the coyote and roadrunner antics are a nice change from the Amber-Joyce-Becky domination of the strip, not that I’d want that to go away completely…

  108. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    December 15, 2015 at 10:45 am | #

    But face farming in the halls is perfectly acceptable?

  109. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    December 15, 2015 at 12:24 pm | #

    Good timing on Mary’s part.

    I’m expecting a rope net trap from Carla in return.

  110. RedStapler
    RedStapler
    December 15, 2015 at 12:25 pm | #

    D:

    If someone did that to my skates, new or otherwise, I would be livid.

    Wheels and bearings can come to over $200!!!!

    /skate nerd

    • ailorn
      ailorn
      December 15, 2015 at 3:11 pm | #

      Agreed. Mary has crossed the line by damaging/destroying Carla’s new and likely expensive skates.

  111. Parvum
    Parvum
    December 15, 2015 at 1:08 pm | #

    Just waiting for one of these two to open a big package labelled ‘ACME.’
    I am perfectly happy with this new direction.

  112. Griffin
    Griffin
    December 15, 2015 at 2:09 pm | #

    She better pay for those.

  113. Tenchan
    Tenchan
    December 15, 2015 at 2:11 pm | #

    Does Carla have to choke a bongo?

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 15, 2015 at 11:27 pm | #

      Tiny Tina o/

  114. Bammy
    Bammy
    December 15, 2015 at 2:53 pm | #

    Wow, assault and destruction of property because of a tiny bit of noise.

  115. Spencer
    Spencer
    December 15, 2015 at 2:54 pm | #

    I’m so used to LGBTQ characters either being bastions of patience and virtue who exist solely to be oppressed and impart life lessons onto the straight protagonists, or just completely, fundamentally broken from the get go, that I’m honestly thrilled that Carla is first and foremost a hilarious asshole. Carla’s got no time for your shit angst; she’s here to roller blade.

    • smooti
      smooti
      December 15, 2015 at 3:27 pm | #

      ^ This a thousand, bajillion times.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      December 15, 2015 at 3:35 pm | #

      +1

      Yesh, they “have” to bastions of correctness to make up for their “incorrect” natures.

    • Gecko
      Gecko
      December 15, 2015 at 5:58 pm | #

      This exactly. I’ve been thinking from the start how much I like Carla for being a trans girl character who doesn’t have to be angelic, and gets to be just as much of a funny jerkface as many other characters. (Same goes for the other lgbtq characters getting to be as human as the rest, be annoying at times, make as bad decisions, etc.)

      • Psychotic Mantis
        Psychotic Mantis
        December 15, 2015 at 11:13 pm | #

        Where did they mention Carla being trans? I can’t remember that being brought up at all.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 15, 2015 at 11:33 pm | #

          It’s been confirmed on Willis’ tumblr, and there’s been occasional hints in universe as well; Carla gets to have a single room, there’s “a reason” for her being so tall, she said that somebody drawing a penis on her whiteboard was a hate crime.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 15, 2015 at 11:56 pm | #

          It’s canon (which matters to nerds), but it’s also an incredibly easy reading of the text given to us. Spencer pointed out the highlights (I personally prefer to read her having her own room as her parents opting to do something to spare their daughter some trouble, because I would like for IU to not be jerks to a student and actually force that, and Joyce genuinely doesn’t know). It’s a straightforward reading well supported by the evidence, and I find myself reasonably okay with it not being just shouted out loud a thousand times.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 15, 2015 at 6:48 pm | #

      I really like this comment.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 15, 2015 at 11:59 pm | #

      On the flip side, the characters also display the ‘need’ for that bastion of purity. Watching people flip their shit over minor offenses by a trans or gay person is some pretty fucking exhausting shit. At least when they’re sticky cinammon buns it’s only the people who identify as hetero- or cissexist who go out of their way to hate them. Watching assholes pour their id out is probably a necessary transitioning step as a society, but it’s still some exhausting shit.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      December 16, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Except that them ain’t rollerblades.

  116. Clodia
    Clodia
    December 15, 2015 at 3:34 pm | #

    [ANNOUNCER VOICE] AAAAAND Mary takes the lead in the asshole contest! It was a tight race between two inconsiderate people, although folks if I’m gonna be honest here, I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for Carla for having a sense of humor, you get points for that in the final score Let Me Tell You, but MAN has Mary charged ahead. Let’s tune in tomorrow to see how Carla tries to settle the score!

  117. cricricri13
    cricricri13
    December 15, 2015 at 4:22 pm | #

    Well as everyone flips their shit at what mary has done I can only think of one thing: … As someone that rutinelly builds miniatures: glue most definetelly does not work that way! It would have been bad on the long run but not make her immediatelly trip, it’s slow to act and not that powerful…

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 15, 2015 at 4:27 pm | #

      Yes, but then we wouldn’t have seen Carla faceplant, so it was worth it. You have to allow these things for comedy!

  118. Kugai
    Kugai
    December 15, 2015 at 5:11 pm | #

    OK, that’s going from being a bongo to a SADISTIC bongo.

    Sue the bongo.

  119. Tenn
    Tenn
    December 15, 2015 at 5:37 pm | #

    Get a spinoff, you two!

    • onetwoduck
      onetwoduck
      December 15, 2015 at 5:45 pm | #

      Surprise premarital slipshine!

  120. Indy
    Indy
    December 15, 2015 at 5:57 pm | #

    Hope she’s prepared to put up a couple hundred bucks for new skates and a professional floor cleaning

  121. Shogeton
    Shogeton
    December 15, 2015 at 6:09 pm | #

    Honestly, can’t say I feel much sympathy for Carla here. I mean, doing the ‘jump over someone’ was pretty dangerous as well. Honestly, I think Ruth would approve of this act of retribution. It’s kind of clever actually, if assholish. But if you’re gonna be an inconsiderate asshole, at some point, someone’s gonna strike back.

    So, for this occasion, and just for this occasion, I’ll wave the tiniest ‘Go Mary’ flag.

  122. Heather
    Heather
    December 15, 2015 at 6:21 pm | #

    There seems to be a lot of heated discussion for a collection of strips which really does have strong looney toons humour vibes.

    Like I’m no fan of Mary, but if this was the only thing I ever knew about either of them- well they just kind of both amuse me honestly these last few strips. What children. Like if Mary wasn’t… Mary I’d somewhat suspect this would even result in something of a friendship eventually.
    Even taking everything dead ass seriously I guess, while if this was the only thing I ever knew about either of them. Mary went too far- even if Carla was an ass first- that’s all I can say.

    When taking into account what else we know outside of this- Carla actually has a redeemable/good side though (I mean helping Amber out etc). Mary doesn’t yet. And that’s all (that we can see until we see the rest of his buffer) that Willis wrote

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 15, 2015 at 6:34 pm | #

      Yeah, I’m not really feeling that this is supposed to be taken seriously; this is flat out Looney Tunes/Three Stooges material we’re seeing. Carla’s gonna get up and be fine, the same way Joe was fine after Mike beat him in public with no repercussion, or when Sarah hammerspaced a bat to repel Mrs. Warner.

      • Sam
        Sam
        December 15, 2015 at 9:22 pm | #

        “Yeah, I’m not really feeling that this is supposed to be taken seriously; this is flat out Looney Tunes/Three Stooges material we’re seeing.”

        That’s what my take has been. But I am seeing really intense discussions today and yesterday. So not sure what DW wants.

        To me this popcorn-worthy drama.

  123. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    December 15, 2015 at 7:22 pm | #

    Hey Lets take a Poll:
    Is there anyone at all who suddenly took Marys side ( for the first time ever ),
    and thinks “carla deserved it” or “brought it on herself” , that isnt a Transphobic bigot , and was just looking for the thinnest of excuses?

    • chris73
      chris73
      December 15, 2015 at 9:29 pm | #

      I’m 51-49 with Mary but really they both deserve what they’re getting or are about to get

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 16, 2015 at 4:56 pm | #

        Thank-you for playing. Thats 2/5 I hoped would answer.
        Thats sounds like a No to me.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      December 15, 2015 at 10:15 pm | #

      Well, I love Joyce’s sister. Joyce’s sister is awesome and a wonderfully nice girl who I hope gets to show her true self to her family and live a life in the dorm. Jocelyn is awesome.

      Carla is a jerk.

      But you seem incapable of thinking people can have that opinion. Also, Mary is a horrible self-destructive person who has missed the meaning of Christianity–but she’s right in this situatuion because mentally abusive bullies suck.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 16, 2015 at 5:05 pm | #

        Thank you for playing.

        But I’m thrilled that you found a single *Wholly fictional* Transperson you dont hate. Alebeit one who is presenting as her .

        We’ll see how much you like Jocelyn when she grows long hair, puts on a skates and miniskirt, and no longer consents to constant barrage of Christian Bullying …? ( probably as much you can knock her down ? ) .

        yes, I know in your world Poor Mary is sad victim of bullying and forced to abuse people against her will because she learned the improper way to look at the Christian narrative. Its all Starbukck fault , right?
        Those redcups were the last straw on the War on Christmas. Carla brought this on herself. If only that uppity Transgirl could be more like Jocelyne and conform . Then she might meet your approval.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          December 28, 2015 at 2:53 pm | #

          I hope Joyce’s sister gets to change her outfits, attire, and gets accepted by society with pure awesome. Because she’s an amazing wonderful WOMAN and it’s a horrifying shame she’s in a family which forces her to be other than she is.

          So, why exactly can’t I hate Carla’s personality?

  124. jepmz
    jepmz
    December 15, 2015 at 8:34 pm | #

    The battle betweent two Buttholes

    I’m so bored >_<. Damn you, intermissions!

  125. Megatron
    Megatron
    December 15, 2015 at 9:48 pm | #

    THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE STRIP

  126. spirashun
    spirashun
    December 15, 2015 at 9:48 pm | #

    You are all taking this strip so seriously, goodness. I assumed it’s meant to be a cartoon-y, silly little filler after the intensity that was the last storyline. (I am a bit Team Mary in this case, though)

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 15, 2015 at 11:35 pm | #

      Hobbes didn’t exist. Calvin just made up all those playfights to repress his dad’s physical abuse.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 15, 2015 at 11:37 pm | #

        That wasn’t funny. Why did I post that. What the fuck is wrong with me

        • Peduncle
          Peduncle
          December 17, 2015 at 7:39 pm | #

          Okay, nobody is ever going to read this, but so what. In my case, I always know why my posts turn into something that makes me cringe later. It’s a couple glasses of wine. Or maybe three. I post an incredibly witty and cogent reply to something. Overnight some other bozo gets into the system and substitutes words that make me sound unbelievably stupid. What’s so amazing is that it happens over and over. It’s almost like there’s this pattern.

  127. chris73
    chris73
    December 15, 2015 at 10:01 pm | #

    I think that it shows what a good write the author is that a strip like this can get so many comments and that it can make some people defend Mary which, for me anyway, is something I never thought I’d be doing

  128. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    December 15, 2015 at 10:21 pm | #

    Honestly, I think the issue is a lot of people really disliked the causal bullying by Ultracar and are transferring (which I know I’m probably guilty of). Also, the fact plenty of us had been bullied by people in college or high school who really wish they could strike back at their tormentors like Mary is.

    I admit, though, Mary has so far been a caricature of a religious fundamentalist bigot, homphobe, and probably transphobe. Not exactly a good person to be rooting for but, in this case, I’m on her side because I dislike how Carla seems to think she’s funny an endearing when lots of people struggled to try to succeed in college only to have that torpedoed by others.

    Besides, I note she seems to have hit her knees rather than face and I am taking it as cartoonish violence.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 16, 2015 at 5:25 pm | #

      Carla is no more responsible for Ultra-cars actions than Waky is for head-alien
      ( or you are for Mary’s ) . They are cartoons they watched as children.

      Carla does have a sense of humor. Notice the massive difference in her reaction over the Whiteboard Ding-dongs. Once she realized it wasnt an anti-trans hate crime aimed at her , she thought it was hysterical.
      Mary Bullied the RA.

      Carla ( just like YOU ) would find Ultra-cars antics “cartoonish” absurd and thus funny. That doenst mean she would do all the things Ultracar did.

      But warpping yourself up on Marys supposed victimhood has blinded you to the fact that its Mary Not Carla, that is acting more like Ultracar.

      Mary, like UltraCar, escalated.

  129. Horace
    Horace
    December 16, 2015 at 3:53 am | #

    Looking at that first panel, all I can think is…

    GLUE POWER…. MAKE…. UP!

  130. Matt
    Matt
    December 16, 2015 at 9:16 am | #

    I don’t think that would work. I demand YouTube proof! 🙂

  131. Alexx
    Alexx
    December 16, 2015 at 11:18 am | #

    That was some straight-up Looney Toons shit, Mary! Nice job catching the Road Runner.

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