Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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billie, the terms of this relationship were your idea, you should remember what they were
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May 12, 2026

Crapshoot

by David M Willis on December 28, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (133) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 28, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    “I’ll fill YOUR blanks…”

    “that’s what sheyou said”

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 28, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      “and stop looking so cute and fuckable, dammit”

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 28, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      Fill in the blanks? Ruth, Cards Against Humanity is a great game, but for relationship advice, not so much.

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 28, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

        Link is from ninja_jesus yesterday.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 28, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

        I thought Monopoly is the game that ruins all relationships.(since 1904)

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 28, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

          Someday that game is going to start a literal war.

          • Dean
            Dean
            December 28, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

            Monopoly is a game about the inequities of capitalism, it’s not MEANT to promote peaceful coexistence.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          December 28, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          Cards Against Humanity doesn’t ruin relationships with conflict; it just shines the harsh light of day on us all.

          • EdHead
            EdHead
            December 28, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

            Cards Against Humanity: A game about the worst people.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              December 28, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

              The worse you are, the better you are.

              • Doomprix
                Doomprix
                December 28, 2015 at 9:11 am | #

                until your hitler and then your doomed.

          • altalemur
            altalemur
            December 28, 2015 at 4:11 pm | #

            i once used an abortion card in Cards Against Humanity against a friend who had had a miscarriage a few months prior, by accident. it kinda ruined the evening.

          • Captain Button
            Captain Button
            December 28, 2015 at 4:55 pm | #

            It taught a group I was in what “Heteronormativity” was. None of us knew.

        • Chris
          Chris
          December 28, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

          Diplomacy, Settlers of Catan, Civilization: games that ruin friendships/relationships… Monopoly: not so much.

          • EvilMidnightLurker
            EvilMidnightLurker
            December 28, 2015 at 2:35 am | #

            Once you’ve mentioned Diplomacy, there’s really no need to cite any other game. They’re all less ruiny by at least an order of magnitude.

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              December 28, 2015 at 4:26 am | #

              I really need to get my hands on a copy of that game.

            • yomi
              yomi
              December 28, 2015 at 5:57 am | #

              I don’t know. I was mostly warned of Junta.

            • Ed Rhodes
              Ed Rhodes
              December 28, 2015 at 1:10 pm | #

              Uno. I will say this until my dying day.

              Never EVER play Uno sitting next to someone you care about. One of you will try to kill the other one before the game is over!

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 28, 2015 at 7:07 am | #

            Ehhhh, Settlers never affected relationships that I’ve seen, and these weren’t antagonistic relationships to start with.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 28, 2015 at 3:11 am | #

        Thanks for the shout out. I’m always looking for more phrases and patterns for the pack. Anyone who wants to add on to it can just reply here and I’ll put it in. 😀

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        December 28, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

        What do you mean? It can be great relationship advice, especially for lesbians. :p

        • PrincessPaladin
          PrincessPaladin
          December 28, 2015 at 3:29 pm | #

          Appropriate avatar. One of my first lez crushes. 😮

          • dmaxx
            dmaxx
            December 29, 2015 at 5:34 am | #

            Well, strictly speaking, she is also a he and thus he/she can be gay to everyone:-P

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 28, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    … Done the drunken two lady naked tango?

  3. bearfuz
    bearfuz
    December 28, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    There’s hope. It’s pretty damn small, but it’s there.

  4. Mr.J
    Mr.J
    December 28, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I’ve never…pooped outside my own home.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      December 28, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      I’ve never… felt hope to not die?

      • Yet_One_More_Idiot
        Yet_One_More_Idiot
        December 28, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

        I’ve never…actually cared about someone else before you.

        • Adj
          Adj
          December 28, 2015 at 2:44 am | #

          This one, please.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 28, 2015 at 3:59 am | #

          …felt like this before.

          • a snow ʍousɐ
            a snow ʍousɐ
            December 28, 2015 at 10:45 am | #

            I swear, it’s the truth. And I owe it all to you.

            • a snow ʍousɐ
              a snow ʍousɐ
              December 28, 2015 at 10:52 am | #

              (oh, wait. That’s “this way”)

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 28, 2015 at 4:33 pm | #

        conversely, I’ve never actually attempted suicide yet?
        Not sure which one would scare Ruth more.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 28, 2015 at 4:33 pm | #

          –oh! She said “stupidly sappy” not “stupidly scary”. I read that wrong and it’s a very different comic.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 28, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      No wonder she’s so cranky. She has to sprint back to Canada at least once a day.

      • Dana
        Dana
        December 28, 2015 at 2:52 am | #

        I don’t know. Have we ever seen Ruth eat?

    • brionl
      brionl
      December 28, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      I’ve never…
      Swum the English Channel

      • a snow ʍousɐ
        a snow ʍousɐ
        December 28, 2015 at 10:46 am | #

        swum is a nice word

      • Wublub
        Wublub
        December 28, 2015 at 12:44 pm | #

        ‘Cause we’re the RAs who don’t do anything
        We just stay home and lie around
        And if you ask us to do anything,
        We’ll just tell you:
        “Let’s get drunk and contemplate death instead”.

        Huh. Not as catchy as the Veggie Tales version.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      December 28, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

      I’ve never… played an elf.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 28, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

      I’ve never … slept with Mike’s mother.

      • ozzi
        ozzi
        December 28, 2015 at 3:34 pm | #

        *drinks*

  5. Leorale
    Leorale
    December 28, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m glad Billie picked up what Ruth was dropping, there. She’s a sensitive listener.

  6. Fish Facade
    Fish Facade
    December 28, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    I’ve never… worn a ponytail before. Until today. *deep gaze*

  7. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    December 28, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Isn’t it obvious, Billie? Ruth never had sex with a half Chinese person before she met you.

    • Dean
      Dean
      December 28, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

      She’s had sex with half of a Chinese person, but that’s not the same thing.

      • David
        David
        December 28, 2015 at 5:18 am | #

        Well, it’s definitely less awkward if the other half is still attached.

  8. Kraken
    Kraken
    December 28, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    The Ruth equivalent of a Gershwin romantic musical number.

  9. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    December 28, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    “….tried suicide”. ?

  10. Mada
    Mada
    December 28, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    So Billie helps Joyce, who in turn rediscovers her joy and optimism, and that bounces back, hits Billie, and Billie saves Ruth.

    Joyce finds a nice young man to be with, and Billie and Ruth live out long years together fucking like angry honeybadgers on a regular basis.

    I know the line between optimism and delusion is thin with me, but I don’t care 🙂

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      December 28, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      Meanwhile, Ruth finds out what Mary did to Carla and kicks her out of her room. Mary’s new room turns out to be located next to the previously unmentioned Outdoor University Roller derby training rink.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        December 28, 2015 at 4:28 am | #

        No, no, she “assigned Mary a new room, away from the disruption.” Make it look good on paper so the higher-ups will be irritated if Mary complains again.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 28, 2015 at 8:00 pm | #

          Would Mary be the one who gets reprimanded from that?

    • TamiDOA
      TamiDOA
      December 28, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

      There’s a line!? (Like Ruth, I’ve considered optimism and delusion to be the same for a long time now. I also won’t say certain things so the universe won’t “correct” me.)

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      December 28, 2015 at 11:06 am | #

      Your delusion power would have made you a great Akibranger.

  11. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 28, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    *just sets a pile of Queen songs on the Muzak turntable, hits PLAY, and walks away*

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      December 28, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      (Checks Queen playlist to make sure “Who Wants To Live Forever” isn’t on there. Places “Breakthru” on it)

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 28, 2015 at 2:55 am | #

        You’re going to leave “Keep Yourself Alive” in there?

        • Xenocide
          Xenocide
          December 28, 2015 at 4:01 am | #

          Also “Don’t Try Suicide”?

          • HMRC4EVR
            HMRC4EVR
            December 28, 2015 at 11:08 am | #

            Princes of the Universe would be nice. Just no B.R. It’s way overplayed

            • John
              John
              December 28, 2015 at 12:39 pm | #

              I was spending a lot of time hanging out in our campus radio station when the Wayne’s World movie came out. We [i]constantly[/i] had townies calling in to request Bohemian Rhapsody, to the point that we’d gotten an “only one Bohemian Rhapsody per show” exception instituted to the station’s “you have to play all requests that are in the library and don’t violate FCC content regulations” rule.

              Well, one night, we got a guy who kept calling in and wouldn’t take, “Dude, we just played it like twenty minutes ago,” for an answer. Finally, he called us up and was all, “Come on, man, I just want to hear Bohemian Rhapsody real quick,” and my friend, who was DJing, went, “Sure, okay, fine. Here it comes.” And she cued up the (33-1/3 RPM) record (yeah, we used actual records back then) with the turntable cranked up to 78 RPM and the pitch slider all the way up to squeeze a couple more RPM out of it. And we played him Bohemian Rhapsody real quick. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks do thrash metal at that speed.

              He didn’t call us back.

              • Bicycle Bill
                Bicycle Bill
                December 28, 2015 at 1:38 pm | #

                Epic example of “be careful what you ask for; you just might get it.”

            • Mada
              Mada
              December 28, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

              Why does Princes of the Universe seem like the sort of song that Walky would sing while standing on a dining hall table?

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                December 28, 2015 at 8:02 pm | #

                Walky strikes me as the kind of person who’d sing an off key version of “Don’t Stop Me Now” in the shower, forgetting half the lyrics.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      December 28, 2015 at 11:45 am | #

      “Suicide is Painless” by Johnny Mandel.

  12. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    December 28, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    Yay!!! I have hope again!!!…until tomorrow when Willis crushes it like the master emotion manipulator he is.

  13. Chris driggers
    Chris driggers
    December 28, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

    I am uplifted by this one.

  14. jepmz
    jepmz
    December 28, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

    Awwww

    Merry Christmas, Willis 🙂

  15. Emma
    Emma
    December 28, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

    Awww you’ve never felt this way about someone before? <3

    But also um you thought this was an actual suicide pact? No no no no no love no this cannot end with your death stay alive being alive is good. I made the choice to stay alive and it's been a pretty choice tbh.

    I feel bad for Billie though. She needs to understand that her worth is not tied to if someone is "fixed" or not. I think that's what she feels helping does. But helping doesn't always fix. And that's okay.

    • Yet_One_More_Idiot
      Yet_One_More_Idiot
      December 28, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

      Puts Stayin’ Alive on the record player and presses play.

  16. Petra
    Petra
    December 28, 2015 at 12:50 am | #

    It sucks when you’re so depressed that you think you can’t be helped, that there’s something inherently broken in you that all the medication and therapy in the world won’t heal.

    • Petra
      Petra
      December 28, 2015 at 12:52 am | #

      Pro-tip – ‘Maybe I’m not really depressed. Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to keep happiness from leaking away or be loved.’ is not a thought non-depressed people usually have.

      • a snow ʍousɐ
        a snow ʍousɐ
        December 28, 2015 at 10:53 am | #

        good point
        Billie should call her out on that

      • miados
        miados
        December 28, 2015 at 12:40 pm | #

        what about hoping that the people around you are just more of assholes than you think so when you finally move out you might end up being happy even though you literally can’t remember what it feels like?

  17. Ryan
    Ryan
    December 28, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

    Remembering the terms of their relationship? Given how drunk they were when it started, they’re both lucky to remember that the relationship exists at all.

  18. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    December 28, 2015 at 1:27 am | #

    Surprisingly, lesb- erm, bisexual suicide packs are kinda depressing.

    • Dana
      Dana
      December 28, 2015 at 2:58 am | #

      Lesbian suicide pact between bisexuals?

    • Strangeshapes
      Strangeshapes
      December 28, 2015 at 3:29 am | #

      Would a lesbian suicide pact between two bisexuals lead to two dead lesbians or two living heterosexuals?

      • a snow ʍousɐ
        a snow ʍousɐ
        December 28, 2015 at 10:47 am | #

        Schrodinger’s bisexuals?

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 28, 2015 at 11:01 am | #

        Wasn’t there a Star Trek episode about that, with a transporter accident?

        Or at least a fanfic?

  19. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    December 28, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

    “‘Fill in my own blanks’? Then why the hell am I dating you!?”

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 28, 2015 at 4:01 am | #

      Time to buy strap-ons I guess.

  20. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    December 28, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

    “I’ve never bathed in maple syrup”

    Stupid and sappy.

    • Yet_One_More_Idiot
      Yet_One_More_Idiot
      December 28, 2015 at 2:37 am | #

      Also easily rectified. They’ll definitely be sticking together a lot after that bonding experience. 😉

      • motorfirebox
        motorfirebox
        December 28, 2015 at 3:55 am | #

        Next Slipshine confapfapfap

        I mean confirmed.

    • a snow ʍousɐ
      a snow ʍousɐ
      December 28, 2015 at 10:48 am | #

      She’s Canadian, so this has to be correct.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      December 28, 2015 at 11:48 am | #

      Getting dangerously close to WAM fetish, Palamdrone.

  21. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    December 28, 2015 at 2:44 am | #

    Been in love before now? Some variation on that?

    • Eukie
      Eukie
      December 28, 2015 at 4:46 am | #

      I’m guessing “…felt as happy as when I’m around you.”

      • a snow ʍousɐ
        a snow ʍousɐ
        December 28, 2015 at 10:49 am | #

        I was just going to say “…doubted that,” but I guess that isn’t really very sappy.

  22. Ian
    Ian
    December 28, 2015 at 3:35 am | #

    Insert pirates who can’t do anything song

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      December 28, 2015 at 11:10 am | #

      Are they lead by Don Karnage?

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 28, 2015 at 12:57 pm | #

      Billie: Then, again, you make a point of never evicting an orphan!

      Ruth: Of course: I am an orphan myself, and know what it is.

      Billie: Yes, but it has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we catch drinking says she’s an orphan. The last three dorms we inspected proved to be inhabited entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them stay.

      Ruth: But, hang it all! You wouldn’t have me absolutely merciless?

      The piRAtes of IU.

  23. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 28, 2015 at 3:40 am | #

    My guess, Billie? She’s never had anyone care for her enough that they would be willing to die with her at some unspecified point in the future so long as she agreed to keep living now.

    That doesn’t change the fact that Ruth cares for Billie and would prefer it if she didn’t want to kill herself. I suspect that she’s hoping that creating a friendship with Joyce would be more constructive and healthy on every single level.

  24. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 28, 2015 at 3:58 am | #

    She’s on to you, Billie.

  25. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 28, 2015 at 4:01 am | #

    My worry? The very minute that Billie shows even a hint of having a happy and stable life forming, Ruth will kill herself, telling herself that this is an act of love that she’s doing to ‘protect’ her.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 28, 2015 at 4:02 am | #

      …Ruth know better than doing that while Billie still has any sort of connexion to her.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 28, 2015 at 7:14 am | #

      No one will /die/ within the strip. Willis would have to do the mourning forever RL, and it’s just not doable for him.

    • joy2b
      joy2b
      December 28, 2015 at 7:25 am | #

      Certainly, the relationship is unhealthy, but I think this is overestimating. The relationship seems founded on them both being halfway functional, and kind of trapped in that state.

      If either of them starts being consistently healthy or unhealthy, or actually loses the survival urge, I worry that they’d have problems. I’d expect more along the lines of acting out with unhealthy behavior though. Her mo is drinking into unconsciousness in a mostly safe environment. That is a dangerous habit, but it’s not the worst we’ve seen lately.

  26. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 28, 2015 at 4:12 am | #

    Adorable… horrifting… adorifting

  27. Heather
    Heather
    December 28, 2015 at 6:16 am | #

    This would be almost sweet if it wasn’t so uncomfortable at the same time.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 28, 2015 at 8:10 am | #

      That’s ind of the tagline for the two of them, isn’t it?

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 28, 2015 at 8:04 pm | #

        *kind of the tagline, dangit.

  28. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 28, 2015 at 6:23 am | #

    …pretty slow days for comments hm

  29. foducool
    foducool
    December 28, 2015 at 6:56 am | #

    “I’ve never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight”

  30. Rutee
    Rutee
    December 28, 2015 at 7:15 am | #

    Oh, ruth. Ruth, sweetie. Ruth. I know it’s your first relationship in this state, but you don’t say that, you don’t even imply it, no matter how loud you’re thinking it. You’ll feel worse. So much worse. :<

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      December 28, 2015 at 12:49 pm | #

      Yeah, I don’t think Ruth has a lot of experience with the good feels. They’re bad, bad really bad.

  31. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    December 28, 2015 at 7:52 am | #

    But Billie! We both agreed to tirelessly spend our time lobbying congress to legalize suicide between lesbians!

    Oh, you said “pact,” not “Lesbian Suicide PAC?”

  32. raza
    raza
    December 28, 2015 at 8:24 am | #

    I love them but their relationship is sooooo messed up. I mean, I can’t even say it has red flags. It is just one big giant red flag being traversed by two girls wearing rose colored glasses.
    Which makes me adore them more.
    Still…so problematic. I mean, beyond just the alcoholism and the intense suicide stuff, staying in a relationship in order to make sure someone stays alive/in relatively passable mental health is terrible. Particularly when using them as a crutch for your own similar issues.
    As a lesbian, I often hear my het friends saying “I wish I were gay, it would be so much easier…” and I don’t bother holding back from laughing in their faces anymore. Whacked out mental issues, addiction, trauma, and problematic attachments know no gender binary.

  33. brumagem
    brumagem
    December 28, 2015 at 8:49 am | #

    Ruuuuth, part of fighting depression is realizing happy feelings are not stupid or sappy (or at least that it’s okay to be stupid and sappy).

  34. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    December 28, 2015 at 9:38 am | #

    “I’ve never – -”

    FILL IN THE BLANK!

    ” felt love like this before!”

  35. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    December 28, 2015 at 10:06 am | #

    Maybe the terms of the pact are changing.

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      December 28, 2015 at 11:11 am | #

      Vader is standing off to one side changing the deal out of sight.

      • Griffin
        Griffin
        December 28, 2015 at 6:15 pm | #

        Pray he doesn’t alter it any further.

        • DepressioNihlistico
          DepressioNihlistico
          December 29, 2015 at 12:17 pm | #

          The Willis is not as forgiving as he is.

  36. Spencer
    Spencer
    December 28, 2015 at 10:08 am | #

    So I suppose Ruth is still thinking this ends in her killing herself.

    I figured things were still bad for them, but I was hoping she had started to move away from that. Billie, at least, is a lot more hesitant.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 28, 2015 at 11:24 pm | #

      srsly tho Ruth; when your girlfriend asks if she’s helping, don’t reply that it gets in the way of your scheduled suicide!

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 28, 2015 at 11:33 pm | #

      Wait no I had an actual meaningful thought instead of more ripping on Ruth.

      So, does Ruth not want to be helped? Does she think it wouldn’t work? Like, that she’s totally beyond help; Does she maybe not recognize that she needs it?

      • Mara
        Mara
        December 30, 2015 at 4:48 pm | #

        Feeling like you can’t be helped, and that there’s no point in doing anything to try to feel better, is really common with depression.

  37. garaden
    garaden
    December 28, 2015 at 11:11 am | #

    I was thinking “…regretted opening up to you” but that’s definitely not true. I guess “had someone care that much about me before” makes more sense.

  38. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    December 28, 2015 at 11:56 am | #

    “I’ve never….”  “….. let myself be vulnerable.”

    I used to live my life that way.  Until I met Katherine.
    Letting ones’ self be vulnerable is frightening; liberating; magnificent; and is bound to end in heartbreak.
    And that’s all I will say on the matter.

  39. miados
    miados
    December 28, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

    i’ve never….. had a reason not to die before.

    seems like that might fit.

  40. Wublub
    Wublub
    December 28, 2015 at 12:45 pm | #

    She’s never been to Boston in the fall.

    • Peduncle
      Peduncle
      December 28, 2015 at 9:06 pm | #

      Hey, wait, I have. I don’t remember it as being so awful. Not like Minnesota in the winter or Phoenix in the summer.

  41. nothri
    nothri
    December 28, 2015 at 1:20 pm | #

    I’ve never…chugged three bottles of maple syrup at once.

    (She said it was sappy)

    • Cheryl
      Cheryl
      December 28, 2015 at 2:08 pm | #

      You win!

  42. Bunk
    Bunk
    December 28, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

    She’s never found a stranger in the alps before.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 28, 2015 at 1:44 pm | #

      Is that what they’re calling it now?

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 28, 2015 at 11:38 pm | #

        Is there anything that isn’t a euphemism for sex?

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 28, 2015 at 11:43 pm | #

          When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
          I can tell you things about Peter Pan,
          And the Wizard of Oz is a dirty old man!

          – Tom Lehrer

  43. Kugai
    Kugai
    December 28, 2015 at 4:38 pm | #

    Don’t give up on her Billie, she’s almost ready to open up.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 28, 2015 at 8:18 pm | #

      She shouldn’t give up on her, not unless Ruth got violent again anyway, but she should also recognize that she’s unequipped to solve Ruth’s problems on her own.

      Unfortunately unlike Danny being able to talk to Ethan, Billie doesn’t have anyone to turn to, especially since doing so would invariably get Ruth fired.

  44. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    December 29, 2015 at 2:38 am | #

    …. “Been happier”
    wait for it………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    and you realize thats the saddest part of all.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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  • Polls Archive
CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3h
Dumbing of Age: "Arch-nemmy" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Arch-nemmy
5
24
 
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pftompkins.bsky.social's user avatar
Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
I don’t know who needs to see this beyond 99% of users here
It’s a screenshot of the dictionary definition of “rhetorical question”
132
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pixelatedboat.bsky.social's user avatar
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
Me if I ever see Tony Hawk: Hey you’re Tony Hawk the famous skateboarder. That’s right I recognise you. Won’t be able to get any content out of this will you, you piece of shit
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107
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
This is never going away, is it.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9h
Ordered a TFOne Megatronus card from overseas and it came with some other random cards as packing thanks for the super high Squidward
3
3
21
 
reposted by David M Willis!
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Sean Kelley McKeever @seanmckeever.com ⋅ 16h
How to read all 28 issues of my Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane run on Marvel Unlimited: 1: The first four issues were published as the miniseries "Mary Jane." www.marvel.com/comics/serie...
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
www.ebay.com/itm/23610614... selling my stege shockwave
header image - Transformers War for Cybertron Siege Leader Class Shockwave, loose, complete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers War for Cybertron Siege Leader Class Shockwave, loose, complete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers War for Cybertron Siege Leader Class Shockwave, loose, complete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
1
1
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
Dorothy!
dorothy in a dark purple collared shirt and her usual black vest, with cuffed pants
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 14h
i want to change the caption's image to a photo of a mountain of ET cartridges in a landfill
2
9
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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1
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
www.ebay.com/itm/23609624... Three hours left on this murder machine
header image - Transformers MPM-4 Movie Optimus Prime, boxed/complete but with extra hooks! | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers MPM-4 Movie Optimus Prime, boxed/complete but with extra hooks! | eBay
He's been opened, stood on a shelf for a while, and placed back inside.
8
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
mary: dawn says your girlfriend is trying to murder her wilbur: but what about MY happiness okay can we kill wilbur now
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
help I had a big yawny stretch after I got into bed and threw out my back
4
1
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Dotty" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Dotty
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Brandy Jensen @brandyjensen.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
fuck off
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11478
 
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Phew, they made NoHo Hank wear pants.
A McFarlane Toys action figure of Metamorpho, from James Gunn's Superman movie.  He's wearing pants.
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3
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
where's my hour loop of Vader fist-dancing
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 2d
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
2
1
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ryannorth.ca's user avatar
Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 2d
hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
the cover of FF #1 featuring some beautiful art of said Fantastic Four
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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30
 
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osmote.net's user avatar
OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 2d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 2d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
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theonion.com's user avatar
The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 2d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
315
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7655
 
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aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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catacalypto.bsky.social's user avatar
Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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