Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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back in february i did a twitter poll on whether to show mary or ruth, so here's the panel 2 mary you woulda gotten if she'd won
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May 12, 2026

Misplaced

by David M Willis on May 19, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - When God Closes The Door
└ Tags: mary, ruth

Discussion (337) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 19, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    oh come on, Satan’s RIGHT THERE

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      ya, but carla’s probably got that covered

    • Syndicaidramon
      Syndicaidramon
      May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Who, Mary?

      • Silvester Crow
        Silvester Crow
        May 19, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

        …Yes.

    • butts
      butts
      May 19, 2016 at 3:08 am | #

      “Dear Satan, I want a pony, and a dollhouse, and Mary’s smug face smooshed between my knuckles in a repercussion-free manner, kthx”

      • devilyouknow
        devilyouknow
        May 19, 2016 at 1:13 pm | #

        I’ll see what I can do.

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      May 19, 2016 at 4:30 pm | #

      Why does no one ever care about Stolas? He teaches science and medicine. Also, he’s a frigging dinosaur. Sure, so is Caim, but no one likes a politician.

    • Porthos9438
      Porthos9438
      May 20, 2016 at 2:40 am | #

      Dear Satan: We all know that Mary is one of yours. So we were wondering if you wouldn’t mind just collecting your trash now get it out of our way?

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 19, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    God: “Sorry, but I kinda want to see where Carla’s going with this.”

    • Wheelpath
      Wheelpath
      May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      She isn’t praying for God to stop Carla, just make sure Mary gets out alright

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        May 19, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

        No, she’s just sending her thoughts and prayers, which are

        “I think Mary needs to sod the fuck off”

        and

        “I pray Mary will GTFO”

        • Idontcarenomore
          Idontcarenomore
          May 19, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

          Exactly.

        • DSL
          DSL
          May 19, 2016 at 5:57 am | #

          On dealing with a particularly sanctimonious and frequently complaining reader, the late editorial cartoonist Doug Marlette observed that being on her prayer list is “little different from being on her shit list.”

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 19, 2016 at 7:08 am | #

          Or, she’s praying that God helps Mary overcome her hatred and anger and accept people as they are. Once Mary repents and gives up her bigotry, Carla’s revenge will become unnecessary.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            May 19, 2016 at 12:56 pm | #

            She’s praying that the Lord cures Mary of her cranio-rectal inversion.

        • Meyers
          Meyers
          May 19, 2016 at 4:09 pm | #

          Pretty sure she’s praying ironically since god is “the greatest power” at her disposal

      • miados
        miados
        May 19, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        thoughts and prayers can mean good or bad

        I am thinking about bad things happening to her and praying my thoughts are true later.

        I imagine that being the case.

        • John Brewer
          John Brewer
          May 19, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

          “Thoughts and prayers” is what Americans send when they aren’t going to do shit about something.

          It’s literally the *least* someone can do.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            May 19, 2016 at 2:37 am | #

            Politicians love this line because it makes their constituents think they give a crap about what happens to them. “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of West Deertick, that the stinkbug plague will soon pass and we can begin picking up the pieces.”

            • John Brewer
              John Brewer
              May 19, 2016 at 4:28 am | #

              Specifically, it’s what politicians say after every mass shooting, instead of actually doing something.

              • Boxilar
                Boxilar
                May 19, 2016 at 8:12 am | #

                Right wing politicians send “hopes & prayers”. Left wing politicians just sort of flail around ineffectively, which amounts to the same thing.

                • AndroidDreams
                  AndroidDreams
                  May 19, 2016 at 10:20 pm | #

                  When every law you try to pass gets shut down by the right wing politicians, flail ineffectively is all y’all can do.

                • Boxilar
                  Boxilar
                  May 19, 2016 at 11:56 pm | #

                  Can’t deny that, though my dad used to get frustrated with the disunity on the left. After the failure of universal health care in 1993 with a Democratic House, Democratic super majority in the Senate and a Democratic President, my father said, “Only Democrats form circular firing squads.” Case in point was how healthcare reform went down in the first years of the Obama administration. After watching the Democratic super majority fumble around John Stewart said in frustration,”Democrats couldn’t get laid in a house [where people’s] sole purpose is to have consequence and disease-free sex with legislators on finance committees.” Half the time the left is it’s own worst enemy.

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              May 19, 2016 at 9:17 am | #

              Actually, I think Ruth really feels passionately about what she’s saying. She’s just not saying all of it, out loud.

              Here’s what we hear:
              “Dear Lord, I am sending my thoughts and prayers for Mary.”
              Here’s what she’s saying:
              “Dear Lord, I am sending my thoughts and prayers for Mary (TO DIE IN A FIRE. PLEASE MAKE HER SUFFER!)

          • Kinoko
            Kinoko
            May 19, 2016 at 12:15 pm | #

            This is how I read it, too.
            Even if she does believe in God (and I’m not certain that she does), Ruth is the type of cynic to believe that “thoughts and prayers” will do jack-shit.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        May 19, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        Well maybe not so much “getting out alright” rather “getting out not dead”.

        • Mollyscribbles
          Mollyscribbles
          May 19, 2016 at 11:00 am | #

          “Dear Lord, please let this end in a way that doesn’t result in lawsuits or legal charges.”

      • Skizz
        Skizz
        May 19, 2016 at 3:31 am | #

        God IS an ACME Anvil ™

        • Chris Phoenix
          Chris Phoenix
          May 19, 2016 at 10:53 am | #

          No, God is an iron. Felons practice felony…

    • Ghostforge
      Ghostforge
      May 19, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      God doesn’t care, God just wants us to bring back Enterprise and the Yip-Yip Martians.

      • Boxilar
        Boxilar
        May 19, 2016 at 8:34 am | #

        Enterprise after fourth season started, though. Third season was an abomination in His eyes.

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      May 19, 2016 at 9:27 am | #

      “Actually I’m already pending a request to kill Mary, so I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

  3. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    May 19, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    It may look like Ruth’s praying for something bad to happen to Mary. Not so! She’s petititioning the Lord for all good things to be sent Mary’s way. Except! Ruth’s doing so while drunk (or possibly hungover), and it is written: “Do not drink wine nor strong drink […] when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation” (Leviticus 10:9). Thus, Ruth’s prayer will get twisted, and bad things will happen to Mary. Genius!

    • Spidergirl
      Spidergirl
      May 19, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      It’s DIABOLICAL.
      I mean, whatever Carla’s up to is definitely more diabolical, but this is a pretty damn good jab on Ruth’s part.

      • Scoops
        Scoops
        May 19, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

        I mean good jarb.

        I mean good jeorb.

        Jeeourb!

        Jeee-o-o-a-r-ub!

        • Dave
          Dave
          May 19, 2016 at 3:15 am | #

          Joreeairb!

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            May 19, 2016 at 2:33 pm | #

            Did someone take yours?

            • SundaesChild
              SundaesChild
              May 19, 2016 at 7:27 pm | #

              It probably was Fhqwhgads.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 19, 2016 at 2:01 am | #

      Ruth is detoxing.

    • Tan
      Tan
      May 19, 2016 at 3:19 am | #

      I wish for good things to come to Mary.

      Carla’s vengeance is a very good thing.

  4. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    May 19, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Yeah. Mary’s screwed! ^_^

  5. Dara
    Dara
    May 19, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Mary keeps falling for that.

    Mary isn’t very bright.

    • Grimey
      Grimey
      May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      I’ve seen burnt out bulbs shine brighter.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        May 19, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

        I’ve seen sharper Nerf balls.

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          May 19, 2016 at 11:51 am | #

          “As sharp as a bag of wet mice.” – F.L.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 19, 2016 at 1:27 pm | #

            As delicate as a sledgehammer.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              May 19, 2016 at 1:53 pm | #

              “About as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      It complements her bigotry.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      May 19, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Well, if she was bright she wouldn’t be harassing people in the first place.

      • Dara
        Dara
        May 19, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

        yes, but c’mon. this is thor and loki levels of really?

        http://images.fashionnstyle.com/data/images/full/117841/tom-hiddleston-fall-for-that-gif.gif

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 19, 2016 at 2:44 am | #

      She’s the sharpest bulb in the box sometimes.

      • butts
        butts
        May 19, 2016 at 3:10 am | #

        …In that she could really use a good screwing, but that she’d probably end up injuring anyone who tried?

      • DSL
        DSL
        May 19, 2016 at 5:59 am | #

        In that the sharpest bulb is the broken one?

      • Dara
        Dara
        May 19, 2016 at 2:43 pm | #

        I like to say “not the sharpest spoon in the drawer” myself.

  6. miados
    miados
    May 19, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Ok I am a christian but this was great!

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      May 19, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      Dude, if you’ve been having trouble because you’re sympathizing with Mary up til now, you need to go back through the bible.

      • Syndicaidramon
        Syndicaidramon
        May 19, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        Just ignore most of the old testament and stuff and you’ll be fine.

      • miados
        miados
        May 19, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

        nope I have no problem with what is happening to that bongo.

        • butts
          butts
          May 19, 2016 at 3:12 am | #

          Nobody does. Because she is a spiteful, odious douchenozzle.

        • dethtoll
          dethtoll
          May 19, 2016 at 5:10 am | #

          I’m going to start using “bongo” as an insult, thanks

          • Wire Segal
            Wire Segal
            May 19, 2016 at 7:24 am | #

            The comment automoderation system replaces the word for female dog with bongo.

            • miados
              miados
              May 19, 2016 at 1:34 pm | #

              maybe so but i like it even thought it was a censorship thing. makes it funny.

              • a snow ʍousɐ
                a snow ʍousɐ
                May 20, 2016 at 2:29 pm | #

                Well, I think it is a censorship thing. There’s a program that automatically censors any language that’s fucking offensive

                • a snow ʍousɐ
                  a snow ʍousɐ
                  May 20, 2016 at 2:32 pm | #

                  And the f word didn’t get hit, which seems to imply it’s for actual offensive language (the b word and c word are offensive to females, obviously the n word is offensive but I imagine a comment like that wouldn’t be posted at all, fag is offensive to homosexuals so I imagine that might not rhyme with bag by the time it passes through the filter, etc)

                • a snow ʍousɐ
                  a snow ʍousɐ
                  May 20, 2016 at 2:33 pm | #

                  Well, I guess it’s not as offensive. It is sort of a reclaimed word

      • WaytoomanyUIDs
        WaytoomanyUIDs
        May 19, 2016 at 6:55 am | #

        I don’t think any Christian I have known, including the fundies, would sympathise with Mary. She has only become more dislikable the more we see of her. At best she may end up a pitiable but unsympathetic character.

        • Portland
          Portland
          May 19, 2016 at 7:18 pm | #

          I misread that as “including the furries” and I was very confused as to why you thought Christian furries would be more likely to sympathize with Mary than Christian non-furries.

  7. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    *and an encore of “Mary’s Prayer” on the hacked Muzak*

    • m-m
      m-m
      May 19, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      after that I think a little Run DMC is in order…

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        May 19, 2016 at 11:53 pm | #

        And people say I Monkee around…

  8. inqntrol
    inqntrol
    May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    “Dear Lord, please forsake Mary, she’s a list cause.”

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      May 19, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      *lost

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        May 19, 2016 at 1:29 pm | #

        No, it was right the first time.
        A list cause is when you are something on the shit list to be fixed.

    • Frost Magi
      Frost Magi
      May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      “And a burden to us all”

  9. Kris
    Kris
    May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I would’ve never thought of Ruth as the religious type…..I guess Mary won that battle.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 19, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Well, she didn’t specify, but the Lord she’s addressing is Lord Cthulu.

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        May 19, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        OR the Flying Spaghetti Monster

        • WaytoomanyUIDs
          WaytoomanyUIDs
          May 19, 2016 at 6:49 am | #

          Or J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, may he live in slackness.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 19, 2016 at 1:30 pm | #

            Or Kaname Madoka.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 19, 2016 at 1:47 am | #

        So Carla is planning a production of the King in Yellow?

    • Syndicaidramon
      Syndicaidramon
      May 19, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Nah. She’s just doing it on a technicality. She was honest, yet knows that prayer doesn’t actually do anything.
      But Mary, being a devout christian, can’t argue against it because that would mean she would doubt the power of prayer.

      It’s genious, really…

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 19, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

        This.

        And best of all, it’s what Mary would do if someone asked her to give her “all” to another person’s cause.

        • butts
          butts
          May 19, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

          And Mary totally would have complained about it if she were actually paying attention, too. The hypocrite.

      • Kris
        Kris
        May 19, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

        Don’t take away Mary’s victory here. Through sheer virtue of her shining personality she convinced someone it was worth their time praying to the holey ghost! And by that I mean a literal ghost with holes in it like Swiss cheese. Trust me it works. Ghosts really have it all figured out.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      May 19, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

      I don’t believe Mary won a damn thing.

      Ruth said she’d go to the highest power at her disposal. And she has done so.

      Now then, look at how she prayed and describe what it really means…nothing.

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 19, 2016 at 6:03 am | #

      I was gonna say that as much as it weirded me out, it’s been implied (directly by Billie, but throughout) that basically everyone is Christian or passively Christian, and people told me that yeah that sounded realistic to this locality, so it makes sense that Ruth would be-

      But then I remembered that Ruth grew up in Canada, so that doesn’t really apply to her.

      Because I still can’t get my head around assuming most of them are Christian, my first assumption was that it was just a joke to herself while also fulfilling two promises- she took it to the most high up (regardless of belief, and besides, Mary believes) and she is not preventing anyone from doing anything to Mary.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 19, 2016 at 6:05 am | #

        Ruth is probably agnostic.

        • Marie
          Marie
          May 19, 2016 at 6:15 am | #

          Makes sense, I was thinking agnostic/apathetic

      • ischemgeek
        ischemgeek
        May 19, 2016 at 6:27 am | #

        Canadian here – most of white Canada is Christian or passively Christian, but not in a big, outspoken way. In the country, even Joyce would be a little extreme in outward devotion. In more multicultural areas, like cities, a Mary type (leaving aside the bigotry – just looking at how explicit she is in her religion) or a Joyce type would be considered rude, just because it’s not something you’re that in others’ face about. A politician wearing their religion on their sleeve like they do in the states actually hurts their elect-ability up here among most of the country. Politicians are generally expected to be religious, but quietly so, if that makes sense – wear your cross or turban or niqab or kippah or etc, and observe your religion in peace, but don’t make your religion others’ business.

        It’s the one thing that takes me a bit aback whenever I travel South of the border – around here it’s an unspoken social rule that you don’t talk religion or politics in polite/professional settings, in the cities at least. Down there, it seems like every second person is God this and Bless that and etc, or dragging their religion into discussions that have nothing to do with religion.

        • Kalosec
          Kalosec
          May 19, 2016 at 7:56 am | #

          It sounds so nice up there in Canada. Because honestly I am sickened with how they try to push religion into every little thing down here in America.

          • Emanuele
            Emanuele
            May 19, 2016 at 8:54 am | #

            Try living in a country with the Vatican in the middle…

            • fudo81
              fudo81
              May 19, 2016 at 3:21 pm | #

              Sigh…
              (nice to “meet” other Italian DoA readers though)

          • The Gorram Batguy
            The Gorram Batguy
            May 19, 2016 at 9:04 am | #

            Even into pierogis?

            • SgtWadeyWilson
              SgtWadeyWilson
              May 20, 2016 at 5:39 am | #

              Note to self:
              New religion to try out: mashed potatoes and cheese.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 19, 2016 at 1:31 pm | #

            I’m kinda sick of family members silently shaming me because I decided I wasn’t going to bother with all of that and they’re all Catholic.

            • Hollis
              Hollis
              May 19, 2016 at 2:16 pm | #

              I can’t figure out if my Catholic family is more horrified that I’m aggressively agnostic or that I’m queer and trans. And hey, as long as I’m drunk, it is so bad it rolls around into “so bad it’s hilarious” territory.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 19, 2016 at 2:38 pm | #

          I see you haven’t been to rural central Alberta then. They have people there who make Toedad seem like a slacker.

          • ischemgeek
            ischemgeek
            May 19, 2016 at 8:14 pm | #

            No – closest in terms of culture I was is rural NS, which gets pretty religious fundie… but it’s a weird sort of religious fundie where they won’t let their kids play with the atheist’s kid, but they won’t like proselytize at you either.

        • Marie
          Marie
          May 19, 2016 at 3:47 pm | #

          Huh. I’m from BC, and although I obviously have a small sample size, basically everyone I have known, unless pointedly religious, has been agnostic or atheist.

          Rorborat- Well it was clarified that that was in the cities, unless you mean my exception for Ruth, in which case she doesn’t strike me as rural, but I suppose we might find out.

          • Christine
            Christine
            May 19, 2016 at 9:39 pm | #

            Can we assume you’re from a city? I’m from Toronto originally, and am adjusting to South-Western Ontario. I’m always shocked to discover that there are lot more people who are quietly religious (or passively so) than I expected – i.e. a non-zero number – around here. And even more so if you get out of the city and into the townships. Some of the townships here start council meetings with the Lord’s Prayer. (I believe there is an official policy to stop if/when there is ever a complaint, but that still says a lot. I mean, that in no way means that everyone is both religious and Christian, because of the politeness ichemgeek mentions, but it’s still very surprising to me.)

        • Overthinker90
          Overthinker90
          May 19, 2016 at 11:30 pm | #

          Canadian Atheist living in rural area, I can say that most people keep to themselves about their religion. But If it comes up I am definitely the odd one out (although the young people are better). people can be pretty dumb about their religion though, I work in a Jail and had a fellow officer allow a visit without proper security screening or even checking ID because the guy was a priest… I just about strangled him, but a lot of people din’t think it was a problem. Oh and the offender was in for child abuse based around fundemental beliefs taught by the priest in question.

  10. Leorale
    Leorale
    May 19, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I love how so many people in this comic pray passive-aggressively. It’s just somehow really satisfying.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 19, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

      It’s the best kind.

  11. Cheshrin
    Cheshrin
    May 19, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I mean, well, technically.

  12. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 19, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Lord: Meh. Que sera sera.

  13. Frost Magi
    Frost Magi
    May 19, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I’m rooting for Carla here. Carla is hilarious as a side character and I love when she pushes Mary’s buttons. The interactions between the two of them are just absolutely priceless.

    • butts
      butts
      May 19, 2016 at 3:02 am | #

      Everyone is rooting for Carla. Because Mary is a raging prickmuffin.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 19, 2016 at 2:39 pm | #

        Ohhh, prickmuffin, that is a new one, I like it, definitely adding to my collection.

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 19, 2016 at 5:57 am | #

      ‘I’m rooting for the transphobe,’ said no one ev- oh wait, no, a fuckton of people said that or as much as said it on previous strips in this arc.

      • Danuisrodriguez
        Danuisrodriguez
        May 19, 2016 at 11:17 am | #

        Fucking really?

        I haven’t seen any, but maybe that’s why the first interaction with Mary and Carla has disabled comments.

        Any case, I want Mary to be destroyed.

        • waelcyrige
          waelcyrige
          May 19, 2016 at 12:01 pm | #

          That’s exactly why, actually. And then the first thread that opened up again had 500+ comments.

        • trlkly
          trlkly
          May 19, 2016 at 12:27 pm | #

          I assume it’s stuff that’s been deleted. There was a lot of pro-Mary stuff before the transphobia bomb, but I haven’t seen any afterwards. At most, just people saying Carla is horrible, too, and blaming her for starting everything.

          • Marie
            Marie
            May 19, 2016 at 3:56 pm | #

            Yeah, it was like a continuation of the blame line, except basically saying ‘so Mary has a right to say anything she wants,’ sometimes continuing ‘and besides, calling her that is way less damaging than Carla annoying her and skating in the halls.’ Probably cropped up on the first one with comments after? Ruth’s non-interference? I can’t remember if Cerb hung around for that, or I would suggest ctrl f ing her to get the gist of terrible people.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 19, 2016 at 11:14 pm | #

              Yeah, Willis has screen-capped some of the more egregious versions as well. Honestly, all the villains seem to attract creepy apologists from time to time.

  14. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Ah Karma.

    • Lostinabook
      Lostinabook
      May 19, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

      Did you mean, “Ah Carla.” 🙂

      • butts
        butts
        May 19, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

        CARLA, KARMA CHAMELEON

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 19, 2016 at 9:24 am | #

          YOU COME AND GO, YOU COME AND GO-OO-OOH

  15. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    May 19, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Huh. How long has it been since Ruth quit the sauce? Because I work with several dudes on probation or parole, and the test they have to do for alcohol only tells you if you drank in the last 7 days. Ruth volunteers for that, pops clean, and Mary looks like a fool who mistook exhaustion for a hangover.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      One evening, I’m pretty sure, so she’s got 6 days and about 2-3 books before she can try that out assuming no relapses (which are likely).

      Honestly, Mary learning about the alcoholism is the worst thing for her right now, because it’s the one that’s easiest to prove and is most likely to be taken as something more than Mary being a loud bigot.

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        May 19, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

        Yeah it kind of worries me :/

      • Kris
        Kris
        May 19, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

        Which unfortunately means we’ll be tolerating Mary’s bullsh-…I mean appreciating Mary’s justifiable and altruistic concern for some time to come.

      • Pastafarian
        Pastafarian
        May 19, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        “6 days”

        So like, half a year.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 19, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

          You’re optimistic. The six days between the start of Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit and the end of To Those Who’d Ground Me lasted from July 6, 2014 to November 25, 2015. And Willis has already said the current arcs are running long, so I would not at all be surprised if we’re waiting a year and a half for this to stop being a thing hanging over her head.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 19, 2016 at 1:34 pm | #

            UGH

        • John
          John
          May 19, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

          The first three weeks of the comic ran roughly a year of real time each. Week Four was a hefty year and nine months. Week Five has been ten months so far, and it’s only Saturday… and we skipped Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday completely. Six days, if stuff actually happens, is a year easy, probably more.

      • Idontcarenomore
        Idontcarenomore
        May 19, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

        I don’t think the alcoholism is the easiest thing to prove. Ruth is a closet drunk. She doesn’t go out and party.

        If she went to class drunk she would have been gone a long time ago.

        So 6 days sober for the test, or about 6 months DoA time.

        Humm that equals no worries. I think Carla will either kill Mary or drive her mad before Ruth has to worry about her.

    • Toad
      Toad
      May 19, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

      Wait, how old is Ruth? I’ve been assuming she’s at least 21, which would mean she’d just have to claim she’s not drinking on campus, right? Does her job prohibit her from drinking at all?

      • John
        John
        May 19, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

        Ruth is 20. I asked Willis one time because I was wondering about her drinking legality status, too.

      • Dellaran
        Dellaran
        May 19, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

        IU is a dry campus, so she officially shouldn’t be drinking regardless of her age. As an RA, whose job includes enforcing that alcohol policy, being caught under the influence would probably be a firing offense.

        • Nate
          Nate
          May 19, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

          I think what Toad meant is that if she was of legal drinking age (which according to John she isn’t) then technically she could leave campus during her free time, drink legally, and return to campus to sleep without having violated any rules or procedure.

          • Marie
            Marie
            May 19, 2016 at 6:12 am | #

            Actually, what if she tuns 21in the next day or two? That would be convenient, especially because withdrawals are visibly beyond regular hangovers, but birthday could imply both a lot of drinking and her first time drinking, meaning she might be kind of gross following.

        • Marie
          Marie
          May 19, 2016 at 6:07 am | #

          Are you forbidden from drinking at all if you live on a dry campus? If she was 21 (I know she’s not), I assumed it could be explained as ‘oh yeah, we went to (a pub) the other day.’

          • Shade
            Shade
            May 19, 2016 at 7:49 am | #

            Average student? Probably fine.

            RA? An individual intended to represent the college’s rules in handling dorm matters? No. Entering the dorm drunk would likely count as being drunk on the job.

            • Marie
              Marie
              May 19, 2016 at 3:58 pm | #

              My other thought was if she’s allowed to wander that much/far at night rather than being there in case something happens.

  16. Zamer
    Zamer
    May 19, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    Oh Lord, thou that are in christian heaven, how much shit is Mary in?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 19, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      And the Lord spaketh: TOTES.

      …The Lord kinda talks like Robin, try not to think about that too much.

      • Shiro
        Shiro
        May 19, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        The DeSanto family is huge, we knew that.

      • Dean
        Dean
        May 19, 2016 at 3:20 am | #

        Y’know, we’ve never actually seen Robin’s father,,,

        • Spidergirl
          Spidergirl
          May 19, 2016 at 2:36 pm | #

          We did in Shortpacked in a flashback. He’s a cheating asswipe.

    • WikiDreamer
      WikiDreamer
      May 19, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      Kingdom come what Carla ought wrought
      On Hell as it is on Earth

    • Pedantic Peanut
      Pedantic Peanut
      May 19, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

      How much shit is Mary in? The angels can take the soundings with a short rope.

  17. John
    John
    May 19, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    RUTH: “Dear Willis, please kill Mary. … Also, no trucks. Thanks.”

    • butts
      butts
      May 19, 2016 at 3:07 am | #

      Readers: “Dear Willis, please kill Mary. …Also, please change the universe so we can get some of that HOT HOT Ethanny man-lovin’ without destroying Amber in the process, kthx”

  18. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    May 19, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    I can only hope Willis forgives me, for I am not sober, and that colors what I’m about to say in regards to Mary.

    God, what a conga.

    • God
      God
      May 19, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      I know, right?

    • Syndicaidramon
      Syndicaidramon
      May 19, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      #trufax

    • QWERTY
      QWERTY
      May 19, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      You’re just saying what everyone else is thinking.

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        May 19, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

        They are, they are.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      May 19, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

      I really, really don’t like Mary, but if the bongo word isn’t allowed here, I doubt that word is–or at least, I feel it shouldn’t be. (I know –or I’ve heard– that bongo is banned because it was being used too much, so maybe that doesn’t apply here at all. But still.)

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 19, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

        I was surprised that it didn’t filter.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          May 19, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

          Bongo only got filtered because people overused it when Roz pissed them off.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            May 20, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

            Huh, don’t remember being irritated by Roz at any point. Either forgot the storyline, or I understood it’s nature.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

      She has neither the warmth, the depth, the strength, or the charm of that reproductive organ, sadly.

      She’s more like a douche, toxic, cloying, bad for one’s health, and sold by hateful idiots who like to slag on lesbians for the hell of it.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        May 19, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

        She’s terrible on the inside, like those vomit-flavored jellybeans.

    • Marisa Mockery
      Marisa Mockery
      May 19, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

      Well, she’s in our thoughts and prayers.

  19. Tenzhi
    Tenzhi
    May 19, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    And the Lord spake, saying, “Let there be prank…”

    • Syndicaidramon
      Syndicaidramon
      May 19, 2016 at 4:59 am | #

      And the Lord Jesus said forth: “Though shalt teach that insufferable skank a lesson”.

  20. QWERTY
    QWERTY
    May 19, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    I love Ruth right now.

  21. magicallady
    magicallady
    May 19, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    astoundly admiring mary’s ability to accelerate her asshole attitude

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      May 19, 2016 at 3:35 am | #

      Amazing alliteration!

  22. Shiro
    Shiro
    May 19, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Ooooh, Mary’s gonna need it.

    I love Ruth’s reaction in the first panel. “Yeah, I also heard the Pope’s still Catholic and bears shit in the woods.”

    • Rosicrucian
      Rosicrucian
      May 19, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

      Bears are Catholic, and the Pope shits in the woods.

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        May 19, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

        I live in a place where there are millions of Catholic people and lots of bears, and this creeps me out.

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          May 19, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

          Quebec?

          • de Combys
            de Combys
            May 21, 2016 at 11:31 am | #

            Sharp!

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          May 19, 2016 at 3:35 pm | #

          Then you probably shouldn’t think about all Catholics are secretly bears, and how the Pope shits wood.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        May 19, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

        But according to Stephen Colbert, bears are Godless Killing Machines.

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          May 19, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

          Well maybe Russian bears.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            May 19, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

            Only when they aren’t dancing or riding bicycles.

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              May 19, 2016 at 2:33 am | #

              Or raiding city dumpsters…what, some bears do that.

  23. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    May 19, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    God: Sorry, but no. People like her are why I made Schadenfreude.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      May 19, 2016 at 7:14 am | #

      “Never enjoy someone’s misery…unless it’s Mary.”

  24. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    May 19, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

    Sadly, Mary has not grasped that the Lord Almighty, should He exist On High, is probably rooting for Carla.

    After all, God likes skee-ball and cartwheels, so Carla’s got a few points in her favor.

  25. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    May 19, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    ….That’s what Mary’s banking on? That the manager will interpret Ruth being bloodshot as “alcoholic going through withdrawal” and not “college student looking like a college student?”

    • Dara
      Dara
      May 19, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

      jfc, particularly senior year, with graduate school admissions and/or job hunt.

    • Mandy
      Mandy
      May 19, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      I was thinking the same thing! Also, you can pile “babysitting 30 18-year olds” onto that pile too. No wonder she’d be exhausted.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

      Manager: You look awful, have you slept?
      Ruth: … technically, no.
      Manager: Fuck, no wonder. So Mary, why should I care right now?
      Mary: You don’t understand, she doesn’t respond right to my blackmail and she lets that t-slur wander around like it’s people and…
      Manager: I’m really sorry, Ruth. You may go. Me and this student need to talk a bit more about appropriate behavior on campus.
      Mary: No, she’s a secret lesbo, I’m telling you. And there’s secret queers living on this floor, but not right now for some reason. And the t-slur is after me and is definitely up to something, you gotta believe me!!!!

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        May 19, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

        Now I want this to happen…

      • Ragnarok101
        Ragnarok101
        May 19, 2016 at 5:50 am | #

        I want this, but I somehow doubt Willis would make it that easy…he enjoys the tears of the readers too much.

  26. Falcon
    Falcon
    May 19, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    GOD WILLS IT

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      May 19, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      This looks astonishingly like GOD, WILLIS

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      May 19, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

      Deus vult

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        May 19, 2016 at 12:24 pm | #

        Willis vult.

  27. Mandy
    Mandy
    May 19, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

    I’ve never, ever been able to wrap my mind around people like Mary, usually religious, who are all mad/offended by the choices/actions of another person, when ALL of their issues could be solved by just fucking ignoring that person. Just. Ignore. It. I just can’t fathom giving that much of a shit about the actions of another person that I’d get my panties that much in a wad about it.

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      May 19, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      The problem is that they’ve never stuck their nose into someone else’s business, only to have it snapped off.

    • Syndicaidramon
      Syndicaidramon
      May 19, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      It probably has a lot to do with the fact that abrahamic religion — both present and CERTAINLY in the past — has always been very fascistic, even down to the scriptures themselves.

      Very rarely have they not been, and it’s mostly now in modern times when it’s slowly losing its grip over the people that it realizes that it cannot afford to be so fascistic anymore.
      But of course, like with stuff like creationism, which was disproven long ago, there will always be people lagging behind…

      • KKoro
        KKoro
        May 20, 2016 at 9:04 am | #

        That’s…not very accurate. Fascism is hardly even applicable to multinational religion.

        Historians liken them closer to a welfare state:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_health_care#Middle_Ages

        Yeah, there were times when we got shitty Popes who advocated Crusades instead of peace, and there’s still in many places a strong element of control rather than the more open forms (which have also always existed), but that’s still not very applicable to what Fascism is.

        It’s also…not something in any way unique to the Abrahamic religions. Pretty much any religion that ever got popular was quickly subverted into the existing power structure, so you almost always get it being used to justify whatever the existing ruler wants to do. The main difference is that Christianity and modern Judaism emphasized caring for the poor. (Not sure about Islam, though they probably do that as well – what I can definitely confirm is that it is historically noted that Christianity basically originated the idea of the religion systematically caring for the poor.)

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

      It’s about power. Destroying someone’s life, making someone miserable, hurting someone for what they are, killing someone different.

      These things make one feel powerful in a chaotic seemingly-random world where our little pieces of humanity don’t really affect all that much. It’s a cheap way to feel one matters because by destroying someone you show you at least have the power to destroy that person’s life.

      Combine that with an expectation that the world is a certain way and you shouldn’t have to learn and adapt to the existence of people who are not like you and a belief that you are inherently better than certain categories of people, mix it up with some toxic societal/religious beliefs and voila, you have a little shit stain like Mary or the numerous of politicians right now stoking fear of trans people shitting to wring a little more hate money out of the rubes.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      May 19, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

      I’ll let you know when they stop killing each other over minor doctrinal disputes.

  28. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    May 19, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

    Reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof.

    “Rabbi! May I ask you a question?”

    “Certainly, Lebisch!”

    “Is there a proper blessing for the Tsar?”

    “A blessing for the Tsar? Of course! May God bless and keep the Tsar… far away from us!”

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 19, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

      +1

  29. Henry
    Henry
    May 19, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

    Never before has passive-aggressive praying been so satisfying.

  30. kkiten
    kkiten
    May 19, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

    I think Ruth doesn’t believe in god and is just doing that to “do something”‘ and stop Mary’s pointless whining. You GO Carla sweetie.

  31. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 19, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    I’m reeling a bit due to the new proposed Arkansas law making using the “wrong bathroom” as a trans person a sex offense leading one to have to register as a sex offender and the New York Times article that found out about a trans boy getting bullied by his peers and school and decided to throw its full support behind the type of fucks who wear “Straight Pride” shirts and claim a trans boy rushing as quick as possible to the stalls is “invading a vulnerable sanctum where boys are exposed at the urinals”, so this’ll probably be shorter than usual, but comic reactions:

    Panel 1: And here we see Mary collapsing into herself right on cue. Because she’s really only got one mode when confused or out of her comfort zone and that’s angry appeals to authority. Carla isn’t cowering in fear and hiding herself from the light of day and is being all intentionally clandestine, so Mary immediately goes running to Ruth to complain despite literally having nothing.

    Carla understands Mary far better than Mary will ever let herself understand Carla. And that’s why she’ll lose this next battle…

    Panel 2: Though this panel is why that might not matter. Her other mode when losing is to escalate the game. We see it with Mary doing a redux of her “you’re not jumping when I want, so therefore, all the blackmail and threats of firing” act from back during the Whiteboard Dindong Bandit arc.

    And we see it in her little fucking transphobic dig of “misplaced freak”. It’s a reminder that even if Carla thoroughly gets over on Mary, Mary will probably retaliate in the most hurtful way she can just because she can’t stand to lose.

    But hey, maybe Carla can shake her up enough to get her to temporarily back off with her shit.

    Panels 3 and 4: And confirmation that what Mary actually wants is total supplication to her whims, dropping literally everything to deal with her petty bullshit. People aren’t people to her, even ones in (secular) authority. They’re just pawn pieces in the epic chess match that is Mary vs The Sinners.

    I’m reminded a lot of Granny Weatherwax talking about how all problems stem from treating people like things.

    Panel 6: Nice evisceration of the “thoughts and prayers is the most powerful force for good I can do right now” crowd. And a nice swerve to Mary’s demands. And here we see the other way of dealing with Mary. Ruth’s just been accepting Mary’s demands in the moment and then passively handling them in the way where she changes nothing that matters.

    It’ll be interesting to see what drives Mary fully up the wall first. Carla’s refusal to be the destroyed bullying victim or Ruth’s refusal to be the good blackmail victim?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 19, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

      This is such a group prayer moment. Mary runs in a makes a lot of noise, but is easily deflected.

      I fear we are being lulled into a false sense of security. Next time will not be as easy…

      *sympathy by light touch* Sorry about all the bullshit. Hang in there.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      May 19, 2016 at 1:16 am | #

      Granny Weatherwax would never has suffered Mary’s bullshit past the first whine that came out of her mouth.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        May 19, 2016 at 1:22 am | #

        Granny Weatherwax was one of the greats.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 19, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

      By Cer that law is messed up. Let it fail.

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 19, 2016 at 5:52 am | #

      Come to Canada. We suck in some ways, but we’re actively taking steps against transphobia and violence. And Ruth would totally back me, if only because Canada.

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 19, 2016 at 9:20 am | #

        Ceding territory and moving away, while sometimes tempting, is not the solution.

    • JBento
      JBento
      May 19, 2016 at 7:56 am | #

      Wait, there’s ANOTHER ONE? If the DoJ told NC’s HB2 to fuck right off, do they really expect that one to get a pass? What the fuck do you people have in the water in the US?

      *looks at Flint news*

      Oh…

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 19, 2016 at 9:16 am | #

      I couldn’t find anything on the new Arkansas bill. Not to make you dwell on it any more, but what stage is it at? Does it actually look like it’s got a decent chance of passing?
      There are a lot of stupid and horrible bills proposed every year, the vast majority of which go nowhere. They just let some idiot Rep tell his backers that he tried.

      • JBento
        JBento
        May 19, 2016 at 4:11 pm | #

        I think she’s referring to this: http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2016/05/18/report-missy-irvin-plans-to-make-it-a-sex-crime-to-use-wrong-restroom

        Toilet Terrorists of the Republican Party sounds like a great name for a band, though. Also, forget porn – the last thing I’d be comfortable with my mom finding in my google search history is now “arkansas restroom law.”

        Also, this piece: http://www.arkansasmatters.com/news/local-news/transgender-bathroom-debate-coming-to-ar gives us this gem:

        He says Arkansas law currently does not specify which bathroom people must use.

        “That’s something all of our lawmakers ought to be looking into,” he said. “We’re certainly looking into it.”

        Because the number one issue in the world is the sign on the door of the stalls where people pee. The number two issue is, of course, the one on the door of the stalls where people poop.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 19, 2016 at 5:43 pm | #

          So it looks like it hasn’t been officially introduced yet and is facing opposition from the governor and other party leaders, if only for tactical reasons. I doubt this one’s going anywhere, at least not this year.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 19, 2016 at 11:23 pm | #

            It’s not so much that it has a real chance of passing (cause it doesn’t). It’s more the escalation of these tactics. This is all pretty much being coordinated by the ADF and the other professional homophobe groups and the fact that a sitting state congresscritter felt safe floating this type of law and felt it would serve as something they could brag about to their constituents is a sign of how much these laws are escalating and is a sign of what people will probably try and sneak into a broader bill later.

            And it’s part of a bigger push to fully link the ideas of trans person (and let’s be honest, the only trans people they’re thinking of are trans women) with “rapist man who will rape your kids”. And that’s going to have tons of repercussions for trans women everywhere.

            Because it makes bigots feel even more justified in policing bathrooms for gender non-conformity, in confronting and physically attacking trans women, especially trans women of color, in denying trans folk jobs, especially in careers involving care for children, and in denying adoption rights and possibly in deciding child custody during divorce proceedings.

            It also allows an opening for making normal the idea of disgust for trans folk, because hating someone for being “crazy” (which is the ignorant person’s most common current view of us) is a lot harder to sell as socially okay than hating someone for being “a danger to my kids”.

            And they’re not exactly being subtle about this shit:
            http://www.joemygod.com/2016/05/18/minnesota-haters-plan-mobile-billboard-campaign-against-all-72-target-outlets-in-the-state-video/

            And it’s setting off my depression something fierce, especially since I’ve already had my two (possibly three) brushes with people musing over whether or not to kill me and so it’s setting off my PTSD from that something fierce.

            I dunno, headspaces, man.

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              May 20, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

              Crazy bigoted straight old white people are going to start running out of things to legally hate. I remember reading that those in favor of HB2 and the like saying that the DOJ was overstepping it’s bounds when they said that transpeople are protected under the discrimination law, stating that they don’t make the laws (the act doesn’t specify trans). However, the Supreme Court has put out a brief stating that it does, and it’s their job to interpret the law. So there’s that.

              Everyday, it’s just harder and harder to expect human being to be decent to on another. Well, at least all of them.

  32. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    May 19, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

    I mean, Mary can’t say Ruth didn’t do as asked, or she’s admitting that God isn’t those things.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 19, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

      Erm, or, at least didn’t do as she said she would. If God doesn’t stop Carla, that’s on Him, though.

  33. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    May 19, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

    I feel like my hate towards Mary has really subsided? Like, she has no power or connections with people. She played her hand too soon and has nothing left. I’m just more upset at the other characters making emotional cuts due to them actually being close to each other.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 19, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

      For me, this is such a “ToeDad takes the bus” moment. An easy defeat that will be followed by a much worse situation.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 19, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

        Yeah, I’m real worried about those angry Carla yelling at what looks like a floor of people preview panels in a few months. I can definitely see Carla getting a big win or a temporary reprieve only to have Mary come back with even more gross garbage.

  34. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 19, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

    And seriously, just all of my middle fingers for her little “misplaced freak” appellation for Carla.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 19, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

      YUP.

    • Some1
      Some1
      May 19, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

      But she’s wearing overalls…and she’s not on a farm! Truly she is the greatest of all evils.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 19, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

      Yeah, especially the casual way she throws it out. She is not even trying to get a reaction out of anyone.

      Fudge you, Mary

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 19, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

        She genuinely believes that Carla is subhuman and so treats her accordingly.

    • butting
      butting
      May 19, 2016 at 1:26 am | #

      Yup.

      I’m hoping this is a signal that later on she’ll blurt out what she really thinks in front of witnesses.

      Ideally including the authorities she’s so keen on.

  35. Some1
    Some1
    May 19, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

    I feel like Carla has somehow made the comment section less violent.

    Comments before Carla started planning: I hope Mary gets tossed out of the window onto a bed of broken glass, and has her eyes eaten out by leeches!

    Comments after Carla: I hope Mary gets hit by a pie! either that or Carla’s just messing with her!

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      It’s cause Carla is really non-violent. Not non-angry. Not non-petty. Not non-revenge, but definitely non-violent, definitely non-assault.

      So much so that it partially tames the wild blood-hungry beast that is the comment section.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 19, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

        ….as if I needed another reason to think Carla is awesome.

        • Some1
          Some1
          May 19, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

          The arc will end with Carla, desperately hanging onto Ruth and Mary by one hand each over the roof of I.U, unable to lift them both, but unwilling to let either one fall. Mary will have a heel realization and give Carla one last legitimately warm smile, before digging her fingernails into her flesh. Causing Carla’s hand to slip…

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            May 19, 2016 at 2:03 am | #

            Perhaps a Disney Death then, won’t show her dying so maybe she didn’t really die…

            • Marie
              Marie
              May 19, 2016 at 5:43 am | #

              Mary as Zira, got it.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            May 19, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

            Cue CARLA’s MECHANICAL CHEST HAND!!!!

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              May 19, 2016 at 3:23 am | #

              And the 1812 overture

              • TwinBladeWarrior
                TwinBladeWarrior
                May 19, 2016 at 2:33 pm | #

                With cannons.
                Right near Mary to scare the crap out of her
                Best percussion instrument ever

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 19, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

        For me, it’s more satisfying that Carla gets the revenge that she wants, and that she’s the one to deliver it. It doesn’t have to be gruesome. I think we all just want to see Carla win even more than we want to see Mary lose.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          May 19, 2016 at 2:20 am | #

          Plus it might help that we have a concurrent storyline in which Amber/AG is dishing out too much vigilante justice, and it’s clearly unhealthy for her and bad news all around. I wouldn’t want Carla to become a violent mess.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          May 19, 2016 at 3:55 am | #

          That’s the perfect distinction. Same thing with Becky vs ToeDad. It was satisfying to see him getting decked by Joyce, it was WONDERFUL to see Becky flip him the bird and walk out to a bright future full of dinosaurs and mouth smooches.

        • Danuisrodriguez
          Danuisrodriguez
          May 19, 2016 at 11:26 am | #

          Carla’s victory can be as simple as a recording setup tracking every transphobic and hatred filled thing Mary said, then giving it to the superiors. Then Mary has no where to go, is expelled, enrolls in a Christian College, and continues her hate with her tribe there.

          Or if Willis wants to be optimistic, Mary gets a tough, close call with the law and how her hatred doesn’t fit; and she swallows it and ignores everyone but her tribe until she graduates. That’s more realistic? I guess?

      • JQuire
        JQuire
        May 19, 2016 at 1:58 pm | #

        Getting hit by a pie is, actually, assault/battery.

        Buuuuuuuuttt….

        • Apostate
          Apostate
          May 19, 2016 at 3:36 pm | #

          assault/buttery y’mean?

          • DinaWho
            DinaWho
            May 19, 2016 at 8:59 pm | #

            Assault and batter-y maybe?

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      May 19, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

      ^^

    • WingedBeast
      WingedBeast
      May 19, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

      I think it’s because we don’t want Carla to get into trouble. So, we want justifiable revenge for Carla and against Mary… just in a way that Carla doesn’t get in trouble or make us think that, maybe, if we didn’t like her so much, we should want her to be in trouble.

    • John
      John
      May 19, 2016 at 1:21 am | #

      I’m still rooting for Billie to just deck Mary. It worked in the other universe.

    • JBento
      JBento
      May 19, 2016 at 8:00 am | #

      That’s because before Carla started working on her plan, there was no comeuppance on the books for Mary, so people just put in their own. Now that there IS one, people are rooting for it instead.

  36. Arianod
    Arianod
    May 19, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

    And the Lord chuckled.

    • DSL
      DSL
      May 19, 2016 at 6:12 am | #

      Best comment in the whole thread, by far.

  37. TheAnonymousGuy
    TheAnonymousGuy
    May 19, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

    So are Ruth and Billie gonna get back together, or is she going to start a relationship with danny?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 19, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

      Hopefully none of the above!

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      May 19, 2016 at 9:30 am | #

      I’m sticking to “get back together” for now. They clearly love each other, and I adore the both of them.

      Plus, we can mine more sorrow from them.

  38. Dana
    Dana
    May 19, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

    I’m assuming Ruth is sending her thoughts and prayers for Mary to be subject to a good smiting.

  39. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    May 19, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

    Let’s be honest. For Mary, that’s considered a legitimately filed note to the highest authority. She’d probably count it.

  40. Liliet
    Liliet
    May 19, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

    THIS IS ADORABLE

  41. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    May 19, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

    ahaha

  42. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 19, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

    We know that God answers Lesbian prayers. How about sarcastic prayers?

    “Please Gooood, help Mary… oh no, it would be soooo bad if something happened to her… anyway, look into it if you have the time at some point. No rush, really”

  43. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    May 19, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

    Best thing is, Mary can’t even really complain, since she’s all bout that fire and brimstone “God’s authority above all” bullshit :p

    • Kamenhero25
      Kamenhero25
      May 19, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

      Amen to that.

  44. wombatprayers
    wombatprayers
    May 19, 2016 at 1:44 am | #

    Is there an image of Mary’s face actually happy… or at least below an 8 on the rage scale?

    • JBento
      JBento
      May 19, 2016 at 8:02 am | #

      There are quite a couple of glee when she was getting her way over Ruth through blackmail. It says a lot about Mary’s type of people that they’re only happy times are when they’re fucking over other people.

      • wombatprayers
        wombatprayers
        May 19, 2016 at 4:07 pm | #

        Just interesting to see someone so comparatively flat in this comic. The only other character I can think of with so few dimensions is Becky’s Dad.

  45. Mr. D.
    Mr. D.
    May 19, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

    You know, Mary would be pretty cute if she wasn’t such a raging Asswipe.

    • Ashley
      Ashley
      May 19, 2016 at 5:15 am | #

      Well, as terrible as she is now, like all people there is a chance she will change for the better.

  46. fang shinobi
    fang shinobi
    May 19, 2016 at 1:54 am | #

    As one of those demonic Catholics, I don’t know how non-Catholic Christians (is Protestant a rude word?) enter a prayer without the sign of the cross. How can I know I’m not cussing the Lord directly when I don’t separate my personal thoughts/words from my prayers with the cross sign??? I cuss a lot, so….

    • Ignacio
      Ignacio
      May 19, 2016 at 4:31 pm | #

      This is such an interesting comment!

      Do Catholics where you’re from use “Protestant” as an insult?

      I think it’s a perfectly fine word, but most Christians of the strain that Mary belongs to (and Joyce’s and Becky’s families) seem to prefer not using it, possibly because it legitimizes Catholic and Orthodox Christianity too much, and lumps their “non-denominational” faith in with that of Baptists and Presbyterians and the like.

      In the absence of a name for this strain, I’m going to call it “Jesusism”, because they don’t like to use the word “Christ”, because it’s just too formal, and they like to talk to Jesus as an equal.

      Jesusists, in my experience, don’t make such a separation between when they’re directly addressing God and when they’re not. They walk in fellowship with God every moment of their lives. If they use foul language, they are swearing directly at God. If they engage in sexual acts not acceptable to the Jesusist establishment, they are committing a sex crime against God.

      If trying to understand that mindset fills you with deep existential paranoia and dread, you’re beginning to understand how they feel every moment of their lives.

      How do they deal with it? Cognitive dissonance, mostly.

      Plenty of Jesusists swear, commit adultery, and do all the things they tell people not to do. But God is understanding and forgiving … to members of the in-group.

      All those other people claiming to be “Christian”, who are rude to God? They may very well be beyond salvation, and God needs to know you can be counted on to remain loyal when the Apocalypse comes. (Which is soon.)

      So anyway… most Protestants (especially Jesusists) don’t make the sign of the cross. They see it as a Catholic thing, and want to avoid such an association.

      Closing your eyes and either lowering your head or lifting it to Heaven is an acceptable sign that a prayer has begun … to mortal humans arund you, so they can see how Christian you are.

      I hope this helps!

      • fang shinobi
        fang shinobi
        May 23, 2016 at 3:42 am | #

        Thanks! That helped!

        As for “Protestants” as a cuss, no, we don’t really use it as an insult here, but I can see why people would avoid addressing themselves with it coz it sounds a negative. Though using “Christian” is sorta funny coz Catholics are Christians too, though they sorta see us as “others”. Which is fine by me, Catholicism has a lot of shitty aspects too haha. Imagine a predominantly-Catholic country where divorce and abortion are still illegal. That’s my country hahahah.

  47. Marvelman
    Marvelman
    May 19, 2016 at 2:19 am | #

    Does anybody else feel this arc is dragging?

    • Fwip
      Fwip
      May 19, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

      It’s a bit all over the place. Becky and Joyce is where my interest was.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        May 19, 2016 at 7:00 am | #

        This. I’m actually interested in all the plotlines, but this chapter really is spending time on at least 3 major plots with pretty major developments (Becky/Joyce, Amber/Danny/Ethan, Carla/Mary/Ruth/Billie) and checking in on other characters as well. The Walky/Sal stuff might even qualify as another main development.

        I suspect it’ll read better collected, when you don’t have to wait weeks to check back in on each plot thread.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 19, 2016 at 4:45 am | #

      Willis has made some comments on Twitter recently to suggest that he thinks he has been getting sidetracked a lot.

  48. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    May 19, 2016 at 2:46 am | #

    Yeah, whatever. That’s not going to stop Carla. 😛

  49. Koms
    Koms
    May 19, 2016 at 3:45 am | #

    Ruth looks terrible. It makes me sad.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 19, 2016 at 5:48 am | #

      Dependencies of all sorts are hard to kick and it always carries a physical cost to do so. She’ll be okay if she can stay on the wagon. Although she’ll probably never be free of the need, her body will mostly recover in time.

      Posting as a Christian, it’s depressing that Mary’s religion doesn’t in any way impel her to help Ruth try to make her life better other than by spitting threats and demands.

      • Cattus
        Cattus
        May 19, 2016 at 11:54 am | #

        “it’s depressing that Mary’s religion doesn’t in any way impel her to help Ruth try to make her life better other than by spitting threats and demands.” — Really? That’s the way I feel most devout (and not so devout) religious people behave – You don’t have to look further than the religious right in the U.S. who feel that everybody including the government must kowtow to their wishes and beliefs because god.

        • rachel
          rachel
          May 19, 2016 at 10:49 pm | #

          the representation you see of the religious right != the VAST MAJORITY of religious people. I ain’t nothin but an atheist over here but don’t slippery-slope all religious people, it’s not useful. there are tonnnnnssssss of queer and trans accepting christian churches in the US. I’m not saying the ugly ones are that exceptional (as in, an exception to hatey bigotry, not “awesome”), probably, but I am saying that you really just cannot paint different kinds of religious people with the same ‘well they’re all nonsensical science-hating bigots, done!” brush. just like you can’t paint *people* with that brush.

  50. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    May 19, 2016 at 3:54 am | #

    Technical truths, the best ones.

  51. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    May 19, 2016 at 4:00 am | #

    Not even God could help Mary now. Or should that be would?

  52. BenRG
    BenRG
    May 19, 2016 at 4:44 am | #

    Ruth has now put Mary into a very, very difficult position that targets the very centre of her self-identity. What happens if Mary complains that Ruth went back on her word to go to the ‘greatest powers’?

    “Well, actually, I appealed to the Lord in prayer. Are you saying that you think that prayer is ineffective and powerless when one is confronting trials? That’s an interesting perspective; maybe I should ask Brown and McIntyre to raise this at church next Sunday; we’ll see what the pastor and the congregation think of your newly sceptical mindset!”

    Basically a ‘mutually assured destruction’ counter-measure. If Mary complains to the Administration, Ruth makes her name mud amongst the local churches.

    • Trolldrool
      Trolldrool
      May 19, 2016 at 5:55 am | #

      Honestly, I don’t think Ruth has any authority with the local churches. And even if she did, it wouldn’t have any effect. Any church Mary would care about having a bad reputation with would sooner dismiss anything Ruth say as lies of Satan. Hypocrisy can be a very useful tool when you want to live in your own world.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 19, 2016 at 8:53 am | #

      I’m actually worried that we’ll see Mary recruit the “local churches” during the Sunday strip to help her protest Carla’s inclusion in Clark Wing. It’d fit her character as well as all the awful anti-trans nonsense going on right now.

  53. Ashley
    Ashley
    May 19, 2016 at 5:17 am | #

    It’s in God’s hands now so whatever happens is part of his divine plan.

  54. Matt
    Matt
    May 19, 2016 at 5:39 am | #

    I have a feeling that the resident manager and whomever their boss is, is going to say this to mary’s face, but with more tact: “piss off. can’t do anything about it.”

    • Gangler
      Gangler
      May 19, 2016 at 5:52 am | #

      If I recall they’ve mentioned the reason Ruth stays in charge despite her abuses is just that she doesn’t tend to bother her superiors often. Presumably they’ll be pretty happy to just sit back and wait for the kids to sort this out themselves through violence and intimidation once they realize that’s an option.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        May 19, 2016 at 7:02 am | #

        Except if her charges start bringing complaints to her superiors, that’s bothering them and it quickly becomes less hassle to replace Ruth than to let her stay.

        • Gangler
          Gangler
          May 19, 2016 at 7:58 am | #

          So far Mary’s the only one even thinking about reporting anything to anybody.

          I’m sure a lone incident, followed by Mary quickly being silenced by whatever Carla’s got planned, isn’t gonna immediately get Ruth fired.

          It’s expected that stuff will make its way up the chain once in a while. They just know it happens less with Ruth in charge, and they’re willing to turn a blind eye to Ruth’s often quite frankly criminal behavior because of this.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 19, 2016 at 8:51 am | #

            I think Mary could probably manage to make enough noise to at least ruin Ruth’s life, but if she succeeded at that, she would quickly get written off by the forces downstairs as she’s the type to constantly press on an authority figure for everything she wants when she wants it and a lot of what she complains about aren’t really issues that the forces downstairs give a fuck about (like they might have sent someone up to tell Carla to knock it off with the skating, but they’re not going to be in the mood to do that every time Mary hears a loud noise outside or every time a kid does something dumb and silly in the halls.

            • trlkly
              trlkly
              May 19, 2016 at 12:04 pm | #

              I don’t really think she could at this point. Because the college is clearly going out of their way for Carla, all Ruth has to do is say that Mary said something crappy about Carla, and Ruth reprimanded her, and now Mary is making up stuff to get back at her. She could have Carla and Billie back it up.

              The one complaint that could have traction on Ruth is the one that Mary doesn’t seem to realize is a problem: her threats of violence (and actual violence). That could be corroborated by a bunch of students.

              Still, if Ruth has always been like this, I can’t believe that no one would have ratted her out on this before. So they really don’t care. Or, as I’ve long suspected, her violence is exaggerated for the purposes of the comic.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                May 19, 2016 at 1:52 pm | #

                I think her violence has been exaggerated in our minds.
                She made those initial threats. She certainly harassed Billie – and continued to “fake fight” with Billie to hide their relationship. She slapped Mary once.
                Isn’t that all we’ve actually seen?

                Well, she threw Blaine, but she gets points for that, even with the authorities. 🙂

                • 3-I
                  3-I
                  May 20, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

                  Seriously, every time someone brings up her threats of violence, I have to stop and reread the comic again to try and figure out where I missed one. People are acting like she’s routinely starting fistfights with students, instead of, you know, playful jokey threats of violence and a few judo tosses when attacked.

  55. HMH
    HMH
    May 19, 2016 at 6:04 am | #

    I still maintain that Carla’s “plan” is something completely unrelated to Mary whatsoever, and is entirely based around making her torture herself wondering what’s going to happen when, in fact, nothing is happening.

  56. LWS
    LWS
    May 19, 2016 at 6:37 am | #

    My daughter was the RA Manager for her College while she was in Grad School; it’s amazing the petty bullshit people wanted to whine about. And it’s pretty hard to get and keep RA’s so they typically don’t get fired on a whim. So unless she’s clubbing baby seals in her dorm room, the RA Manager is likely to only care whether Ruth is keeping her hall controlled.

    Besides, right now the only thing Carla is doing is whistling the 1812 Overture; Ruth can’t help it if Mary has rampant paranoia. Maybe she should recommend that Mary get some counseling…

  57. theheroesofcrash
    theheroesofcrash
    May 19, 2016 at 7:05 am | #

    It’s kinda ironic that Mary’s so big on Christianity, yet every time I hear her open her hate-spewing mouth, my first thought is – in the voice of Dule Hill from Psych – “That woman needs Jesus.” (I’m not the only one here who’s watched Psych, am I?)

    Pop culture references aside, as a Christian it really bugs me when other people use Christianity – or any other religion that’s supposed to be about love and respect – to spread hate and prejudice. I respect anyone’s right to choose their own religion – or none at all – but when your beliefs infringe on other people’s beliefs and rights, that ain’t good. Why – I ask, rhetorically – do Mary’s beliefs on gender have to take precedence over Carla’s beliefs on gender? People may talk about “religious freedom” when it comes to not baking cakes for gay weddings or restricting bathrooms to transgendered individuals, but what about what the beliefs of those who are being shut out?

  58. ClaudeWicked
    ClaudeWicked
    May 19, 2016 at 7:12 am | #

    Like fire… Hellfire…

  59. Amake
    Amake
    May 19, 2016 at 7:16 am | #

    It’s funny cause in Mary’s world, begging the invisible magic man in the sky to fix everything for you is using “the greatest power at your disposal”.

  60. Amake
    Amake
    May 19, 2016 at 8:12 am | #

    Also I’d love to see this conversation happen between Mary and a fully functioning Ruth.

    “What do you want me to do specifically? Tell Carla to stop being suspect? We live under rule of law, Mary. That means you can’t punish people for things you think they may do in the future. (Also things you think they are, but I don’t expect you to be able to wrap your head around that concept.) Get back to me when she does something that is against the rules you signed when you moved here. Or better yet, go over my head. Take it to God.”

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 19, 2016 at 8:53 am | #

      “Ruth, you break those rules all the time for your benefit and I have evidence of that. Now go break them for my benefit or I throw you to the wolves.”

      Ruth really doesn’t have the high moral ground to be talking about “rule of law”.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        May 19, 2016 at 9:35 am | #

        …Really, the only one she violates regularly is the one for underage drinking. She’s fine here, especially in comparison to petty cissexist bullshit.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          May 19, 2016 at 9:36 am | #

          Though Rule of Law is not the choice of words I’d use for enforcing normal rules.

          Also frankly after all that vigilante defense I’m surprised to see you hold the rule of law as something to be esteemed. B

      • Amake
        Amake
        May 19, 2016 at 12:01 pm | #

        Mary is the one who wants everyone to live by her rules. It would be hilarious to open a debate where she has to verbalize just how awful they are so she herself can hear it.

        • Renadt
          Renadt
          May 19, 2016 at 11:47 pm | #

          But that is the problem. She sees nothing wrong with what she says. She would still say everything that she says, and double down on them. Those are her beliefs.

          • Amake
            Amake
            May 20, 2016 at 8:10 am | #

            I don’t know, I’ve never heard anyone actually say “Those weirdos who are different from me offends me with their pretending to be real people and they should stop existing”, like they know it would make them sound like the shittiest person ever if they said it out loud.

  61. Stairmasternem
    Stairmasternem
    May 19, 2016 at 8:28 am | #

    So I’ve been reading this comic since it’s beginning (Love your style and your characters.) but I gotta say this:

    Mary is the most deplorable Christian I have ever seen in slice of life style story. Really I have a hard time seeing anything redeemable for the…heh, redeemed.

    Not a criticism, just something I’ve noticed.

  62. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    May 19, 2016 at 8:36 am | #

    Just realised that Dumbing of Age scans nicely with the Doctor Who theme …

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 19, 2016 at 12:11 pm | #

      OK then…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adk1ujjmguo
      Notice the rectilinear Daleks, BBC had some “problems” with the more accurate ones.

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      May 19, 2016 at 9:11 pm | #

      Took me a bit to figure out what you meant, but yeah ‘Dumbing of Age’ (or any 4-syllable phrase) fits nicely with the 4-beat rhythm (Simm!Master’s ‘drumbeat’) that underlies the theme.

  63. smooti
    smooti
    May 19, 2016 at 9:34 am | #

    Ok, what actual proof besides Ruth looking pretty terrible right now does she HAVE? It could be easy to excuse away Ruth’s appearance as “I’m under the weather right now” unless she reeks of alcohol or something, in which case I feel like more students would be aware of the issue. If she’s otherwise been a great RA (as far as the higher ups can see) then I really doubt they’d do much more than a look through her dorm (and I’m guessing she’s cleaned out all the bottles) and shrug.

  64. Aquatus
    Aquatus
    May 19, 2016 at 9:42 am | #

    Mary seems to be under the impression her righteousness will overpower someone’s reputation based on her testimony alone.
    And no, Mary, bloodshot eyes aren’t really that unusual on upperclassmen. Granted, most of them have learned to shrug off the burdens of responsibility, but they aren’t the ones that get made into RA’s.

  65. Felgraf
    Felgraf
    May 19, 2016 at 11:34 am | #

    … Holy cow.
    That’s the only thing Mary thinks she’s holding over Ruth’s head, isn’t it?
    Does Mary really not grasp the relationship Ruth had with Billie?

    • Amake
      Amake
      May 19, 2016 at 12:21 pm | #

      Well, she did think she had that too, but it’s possible she’s realized she can’t tell on Ruth for a relationship she currently isn’t in.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 19, 2016 at 2:49 pm | #

        She could try but she has no proof.

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      May 19, 2016 at 4:41 pm | #

      She can’t understand that queer relationships are legitimate.

  66. Emily
    Emily
    May 19, 2016 at 12:38 pm | #

    As wonderful as it is to see Ruth protecting Carla and Carla working on her revenge, I really hope this storyline is over soon. I’m not even trans and reading the things Mary is saying is upsetting as hell.

  67. devilyouknow
    devilyouknow
    May 19, 2016 at 1:12 pm | #

    I cannot wait for vengeance!

  68. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    May 19, 2016 at 1:23 pm | #

    What the hell is wrong with Mary? Seriously, how closed-minded do you have to be to say things like this and mean it?

    • JBento
      JBento
      May 19, 2016 at 2:22 pm | #

      It’s adorable that you think that Marys are rare. They’re not. The only thing that’s odd about Mary is that she thinks the people in authority will side with her instead of being in the pocket of the evil liberals who want to cram their horrible agenda of not being able to treat people like shit.

      If you REALLY want to see the true dregs of humanity, there’s a site called fstdt.com. It’s short for fundies say the darnest things, and it will take any faith you may still have in humanity, kill it, and make you horrified that you ever had it.

      WARNING: If I understood correctly what the term means, the quotes on that site deserve a trigger warning for EVERYTHING. It hits all the bad notes and comes up with quite a few of its own. If it ever made you want to curl up and cry or punch someone in the teeth so hard they have to take their meals with the back of their heads, it’s there.

      Except the top quote here: http://fstdt.com/Top100.aspx The tale of the Leviathan (I’m sorry, Leviathon, which I assume is its unable to spell cousin) in the bathtub is something to marvel at for generations to come.

    • Amake
      Amake
      May 19, 2016 at 2:46 pm | #

      There’s really no sliding scale of “thinking people who are different aren’t real humans”. I’m surprised many people seem to be reading this strip as Mary sinking to new depths, when everything she has done is entirely expected from someone who gets angry while secretly watching girls she doesn’t know kiss.

  69. Vandril
    Vandril
    May 19, 2016 at 2:58 pm | #

    Panel 1 & 2 – Look at that smile on Mary’s face! Though I don’t see why she added so much white lipstick.

  70. Micki
    Micki
    May 19, 2016 at 4:24 pm | #

    HAHAHA, oh the irony…

  71. Commodore Jeep-Eep
    Commodore Jeep-Eep
    May 19, 2016 at 4:54 pm | #

    Yeah, I think we might be seeing another escalation soon, when she figures out Ruth isn’t doing shit.

  72. ShawnL
    ShawnL
    May 19, 2016 at 5:17 pm | #

    Ruth is beating Mary at her own game.

  73. Kay
    Kay
    May 19, 2016 at 7:04 pm | #

    Well. She wanted more prayers!

  74. Derek
    Derek
    May 19, 2016 at 7:10 pm | #

    Ugh… can’t Mary have at least one redeeming quality? Maybe she does charity work or volunteers at an animal shelter. Just one… Please?

    • JBento
      JBento
      May 19, 2016 at 8:13 pm | #

      According to the Willis himself, she draws okay

      • DinaWho
        DinaWho
        May 19, 2016 at 9:32 pm | #

        Yeah. She drew the art for the door decs on Joyce and Sarah’s door.

    • 3-I
      3-I
      May 20, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

      … There some reason you’re so desperate for her to? She’s pretty clearly utterly without compassion for those who she sees as sinners. Why the hell would you expect that to be different in any other situation?

  75. Tomas
    Tomas
    May 19, 2016 at 10:57 pm | #

    “Crom. I have never prayed to you before…”

    • Amber
      Amber
      May 20, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qfOFbQTyJU

  76. Brandon
    Brandon
    May 20, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

    Can I kick Mary’s arse

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
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the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
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Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
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www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
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Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
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Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
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4 - They mourn their dead, as we do.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Gran... IS ALIVE? okay, juliette still has brown hair, so this is probably definitely a flashback i'm just surprised that the comic has remembered her, at all
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