Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

#tinyhands

by David M Willis on June 10, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - It All Returns
└ Tags: frieda, robin

Discussion (442) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 10, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    #GoTeamRobin
    #ujelly
    #wtfiswrongwithmyhashtagsyoujerks
    #fickleconstituents

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

      also is this the District 9 with aliens, or grain

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        June 10, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

        Aliens. But most people call them immigrants these days.

        • Vinny
          Vinny
          June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

          Prawns!

          • magicallady
            magicallady
            June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

            crayfish!

            • SmilingNid
              SmilingNid
              June 10, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

              Xeno-organic Americans

              • magicallady
                magicallady
                June 10, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

                #nodiscriminationagainstxenoorganicamericans

                • Disloyal Subject
                  Disloyal Subject
                  June 10, 2016 at 2:06 am | #

                  #killthealienbeforeitcanspeakitslies

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

          Years later into the future:” I will build a force field to keep immigrants out!”

      • Isaac Rader
        Isaac Rader
        June 10, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        THE FOKKIN’ PRAWNS, MAN

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 10, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

        Not having seen that movie, I have to ask – could one have become the other?

        • Rafinius
          Rafinius
          June 10, 2016 at 11:48 pm | #

          The movie plays in Johannesburg, South Africa. I hope that helps answer your question.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          June 10, 2016 at 11:49 pm | #

          which movie lolololol

          (srsly, I can think of at least two)

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      Tailgate: Even I know you don’t write hashtag…

    • Dana
      Dana
      June 10, 2016 at 2:54 am | #

      #nineteencharacterhashtag

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        June 10, 2016 at 3:27 am | #

        #nineteencharhashtg

  2. miados
    miados
    June 10, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    nineteen is a bit excessive

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 10, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      18’s the limit for acceptable use? Because #BlackPantherSoLIT started last month.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      #theplanistobringitallthewaytoonehundredandthirtyninecharactersandwearenotgoingtostoptillwegettherenowareyouallwithmeonthisoramIonmyownnow

      • Some1
        Some1
        June 10, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

        #howdareyouthinkyoucanwritealongerhashtagthanmeIwillhavemyrevengeapoxapoxonyouwhowritesthehashtagIhaveofficiallynoideahowmanycharactersIhavewrittenandmyfingerskeephittingthespacebuttonitsgetttingveryannoningheyhasanyonehereseenspaceballsthatwasagreatmoviewasn’titokayI’mgettingalittleoftopicherehmmaccordingtosomesiteIfoundwerecurrentlyoverthreehundredandseventycharactersthisjokehasprobablygoneonlongenoughIshouldgonow

        • Some1
          Some1
          June 10, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

          Readable version

          howdareyouthinkyoucanwritealongerhashtagthanmeIwillhavemyrevengeapoxapoxonyouwhowritesthehashtagIhaveofficiallynoideahowmanycharactersIhavewrittenandmyfingerskeephittingthespacebuttonitsgetttingveryannoningheyhasanyonehereseenspaceballsthatwasagreatmoviewasn’titokayI’mgettingalittleoftopicherehmmaccordingtosomesiteIfoundwerecurrentlyoverthreehundredandseventycharactesIshouldgonow.

          • Some1
            Some1
            June 10, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

            wait why is it cutting off?

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              June 10, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

              The viewable area of comments is set. Go past it, and it’s killed by the right column. S’why I used the abbreviation tag, so you’d be able to at least read it.

    • legobil
      legobil
      June 11, 2016 at 7:29 am | #

      #whatisahashtaganyway

  3. Idontcarenomore
    Idontcarenomore
    June 10, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    So its Hands to hooters is it 🙂

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 11:22 am | #

      Hoot twice if you agree!

  4. Buttlerman
    Buttlerman
    June 10, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    So Robin is Trump in this universe?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 10, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      If that means the DoAniverse has no actual Trump, then I’m moving there immediately.

      • Spidergirl
        Spidergirl
        June 10, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        She IS preferable to Trump. Just barely.

        • Some1
          Some1
          June 10, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

          Plus she’s only running for congress

      • Lucena
        Lucena
        June 10, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

        You should. I mean, in my country we just had a coup, yet you USA people seem to be in a lot more danger. Run to Canada while you can.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          June 10, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

          I am legitimately ready at a moment’s notice to leave. Got my passport updated, confirmed my Canadian citizenship by descent, have an entire half of my family there so I can build up my support network, have ten grand Canadian with me, have all the paperwork necessary to get an account with a Canadian bank filled out, and have enough tanks of gas to get across the border. Been helping get things ready for both my brothers as well. Hopefully I don’t need these things, but better safe than sorry.

          • Lovely Monsters
            Lovely Monsters
            June 10, 2016 at 5:15 am | #

            “[H]ave an entire half of my family there so I can build up a support network” sounds like you ordered them to move past the border and fortify. Is this family real? Is this *Canada* real? Are–are you sure you’re not just playing Civ 5?

            • djaevlenselv
              djaevlenselv
              June 10, 2016 at 9:00 am | #

              We’ve gone from Canadian girlfriend to Canadian family now, have we?

            • Rukduk
              Rukduk
              June 10, 2016 at 12:54 pm | #

              My father actually moved from Canada to the US after he met my mother. And he made sure to wait until myself and my brothers were born before taking the citizenship test in order to make sure we had citizenship by descent, just in case. As a result, his entire side of the family lives in Canada. Alberta province to be exact.

          • nik
            nik
            June 10, 2016 at 11:39 am | #

            Or as we say in Canada, better safe and sorry.

          • Dorje Sylas
            Dorje Sylas
            June 10, 2016 at 11:47 am | #

            I felt this way as a much younger (18) year old mad when JW Bush got in, and again on his second term. I’d do it. This time around I won’t lie about moving. However I may actually being collecting guns and other sorts of permit-able weaponry. So I am armed come the economic collapse and a Great Depression 2. No reason why the regressives should have all the arms.

        • de Combys
          de Combys
          June 10, 2016 at 7:28 am | #

          Please stop this. We have real refugees to accomodate and make space for.

          Also, don’t come to Quebec if you’re not committed to living in French. No, not even in Montreal.

          • Some1
            Some1
            June 10, 2016 at 12:16 pm | #

            Wait! I have a better solution!
            *Shoves Donald Trump into Canada*

            • de Combys
              de Combys
              June 11, 2016 at 8:46 am | #

              That would indeed be a better solution. He’d have ne credibility here. Go for it!

          • Sudden Clarity Clarence
            Sudden Clarity Clarence
            June 10, 2016 at 2:18 pm | #

            That’s pretty much a truism. Don’t go live somewhere if you’re not committed to living in the local language.

            I lived in Japan for a while and had friends who had lived there for years and never made any effort to learn even basic Japanese. They were perpetual tourists. What’s the point?

            • de Combys
              de Combys
              June 11, 2016 at 8:45 am | #

              Not only are you seriously comparing apples and oranges, but why the hell would I bother mentioning this if it wasn’t because there are serious problems about this? Think about it for 2 seconds.

              Japan? 99% Japanese.

              Montreal? 50% English speakers. Even though the only official language is French. There are tons of shops or restaurants you go where you can’t even be answered in you language. The last federal government did all they could to weaken the laws Quebec passed to protect the French language, that we had finally passed after fighting 110 years (since the forced confederation of 1867). So now the Quebec Board of the French Language has about no powers left. For example, companies have the right to sell us products without offering any client support in French. How the hell do we put warranties into effect then? Because yeah, Canada is pretty much still in war with us, they’re not satisfied with incomplete assimilation.

              So I don’t want any ignorant immigrants coming here, increasing anglophone numbers and acting like we’re too stupid to mention things that have a meaning.

        • WolfLann
          WolfLann
          June 10, 2016 at 10:23 am | #

          Gah! Trudeau gonna have to deal with more refugee lol.

          • de Combys
            de Combys
            June 11, 2016 at 8:50 am | #

            As someone who has Syrian family, I find your comment offensive, nothing to “lol” about.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        June 10, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

        I doubt that very much.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 10, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      The multiverse isn’t big enough for two Trumps. Mussolini on the other hand.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

        Now I want to see a Celebrity Deathmatch (the old claymation version) of Donald Trump, present day, versus Donald Trump in his Apprentice days.

        • Felix
          Felix
          June 10, 2016 at 7:01 am | #

          That would be pretty hilarious!

        • de Combys
          de Combys
          June 10, 2016 at 7:29 am | #

          #makedonalddrumpfagain

        • thomas wrobel
          thomas wrobel
          June 10, 2016 at 8:19 am | #

          vs the version of Trump that only exists in the mind of some of his supporters.
          (I have come across not one but TWO that think the Wall is a metaphor and he is not saying he will build a actual wall)

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          June 10, 2016 at 9:01 am | #

          EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORRRRRYYYYY!

          OLD TRUMP VS NEW TRUMP

          BEGIN!

          • davidbreslin101
            davidbreslin101
            June 10, 2016 at 2:26 pm | #

            Well, the old Trump hates the new Trump
            And the new Trump hates the new Trump
            To hate all but the right Trump
            Is an old established rule…

        • Willoughby Chase
          Willoughby Chase
          June 10, 2016 at 11:23 am | #

          A deathmatch between Trump and one of his fictional selves!

      • Silly Name
        Silly Name
        June 10, 2016 at 8:29 am | #

        Mussolini tends to get things turned upside down.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          June 13, 2016 at 2:54 pm | #

          Nicely done sir.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2016 at 8:59 am | #

      It means, in the DoA universe, every Republican politician running for office is, in effect, being tainted through association with the party that chose that blowhard braggart as their candidate.

      This, of course, would NEVER happen in the real world. (/s)

      • Bratty Roger
        Bratty Roger
        June 10, 2016 at 12:38 pm | #

        You forgot; Egotist! 😱😱😖😏

        • Bratty Roger
          Bratty Roger
          June 10, 2016 at 12:43 pm | #

          What da…
          No *bleep*ing edit?!

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      June 10, 2016 at 8:33 pm | #

      …as was called 2 days ago.

  5. Horchata
    Horchata
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    i was nOT EXPECTING WILLIS TO GET TOPICAL WITH THIS

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Don’t forget this was written several months ago.

      • StClair
        StClair
        June 10, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        I have not, and was about to express my surprise and admiration. Well played, sir.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

      …. wait, topical like relevant to the present day, or topical like cream applied to vote-winning boobies, or topical like both?

      …. look, I just read a comic of a powerful woman in business dress groping her own boobies, of COURSE I’m going to be pervy.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 10, 2016 at 9:06 am | #

        “Robin DeSanto? Of course I endorse her! Who wouldn’t! I mean, she’s a nine, ten easy! I’d totally marry her if I didn’t already have a hot model wife! I mean, look at those knockers!”

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          June 10, 2016 at 9:59 am | #

          What, you think she can handle your junk properly with those #tinyhands?

          • tbf
            tbf
            June 10, 2016 at 11:11 am | #

            She’ll need both hands, and it’ll make your junk look huuuge. Like, even bigger than it already is.

  6. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Yeah, Robin needs some of Leslie’s sexy sexin’ to straighten her out!

    Ironically…

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

      she can’t even THINK straight

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      June 10, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m sure Leslie would like to verify the size of Robin’s breasts.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 10, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

        “Look, we’ll do a test. First your hands on your breasts, then mine…”

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          June 10, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

          “Do you want to come to my place and… discuss politics” is not quite as subtle an innuendo as it used to be.

          • WaytoomanyUIDs
            WaytoomanyUIDs
            June 10, 2016 at 6:12 am | #

            It never was. Considering “Ugandan Discussions” was the euphamism used by British papers for a long time for having sex in a closet in a party. So called because a Ugandan Diplomat and a fellow guest caught in the act at a cocktail party in London in the 60’s claimed to be discussing the situation in Uganda.

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              June 10, 2016 at 6:24 am | #

              I learnt something today!!!

            • Rheinman
              Rheinman
              June 10, 2016 at 8:37 am | #

              That’s funny. I wonder if it is still in popular use.

              • Gigafreak
                Gigafreak
                June 10, 2016 at 10:00 am | #

                “Uganda is my nickname for these pants. Let us discuss the situation within Uganda.”

              • Daibhid C
                Daibhid C
                June 10, 2016 at 11:22 am | #

                Still used occasionally by the satirical magazine Private Eye.

                I recall that, many years ago, the Eye had a caption competition with a photo of the then chief inspector of schools, who had been in a relationship with a former(??) student when he was a teacher, looking intently at a textbook with a female student. The winning caption was something like “Look, there it is next to Kenya.”

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              June 10, 2016 at 2:41 pm | #

              Well, considering the conditions in Uganda at the time, that was an appropriate way to discuss the situation non-verbally.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2016 at 9:11 am | #

      “I know what would distract the media from Manley’s attacks! hot lesbian sex with a blonde college teacher!”
      …
      “Please?”

      • Mr. Mendo
        Mr. Mendo
        June 10, 2016 at 3:30 pm | #

        I could actually see that happening…

  7. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I know this joke may SEEM like it will become dated, but as a time traveler I can assure you that God Emperor Donald’s descendants will still be ruling the planet Trump well into the 24th century.

    His dynasty is gonna be YUUUGE.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      So our planet will be renamed in his name? Glad that I won’t see that happen(it’s not like I’m going to live 300 years)

    • Big Box
      Big Box
      June 10, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      But wouldn’t pronouncing himself god emperor be a poor political move considering his largely Christian support base?

      Unless… no…

      Trump, you absolute bastard. You absolute LIZARD bastard.

      We’ve all been played like damn fiddles.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 10, 2016 at 2:13 am | #

      I am horrified that ‘Trump’ is on Google’s autocomplete results after ‘God Emperor.’

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      June 10, 2016 at 2:30 am | #

      I don’t care if it’s a fixed point in time, I am stealing your Tardis and stopping that! I don’t want an episode of Doctor who fifty years from now where you tell somebody to put Trump in the closet because that’s where we put bad things!

      I would however take a Deadpool comic with him punching Trump in a tribute to the classic Captain America cover in as little as fifty minutes from now.

      • Kirby
        Kirby
        June 10, 2016 at 3:11 am | #

        No Deadpool… how about Good Hitler?

        http://amultiverse.com/comic/2016/01/25/trump-vs-good-hitler/

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          June 10, 2016 at 3:53 am | #

          Ah, yes, I do love that comic!

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 11:30 am | #

      If Rupert Murdoch can dose himself with monkey glands and live forever, I’m sure the Trump can as well.

      I for one welcome my God Emperor Trump overlord.

      • dralou
        dralou
        June 10, 2016 at 11:35 pm | #

        I, too, welcome whoever will lord over Trump…

        Or, maybe not. They could be worse….

  8. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    #ILikeHugeHashtags

    • Scoops
      Scoops
      June 10, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      #ICanNotLie

      • Makkabee
        Makkabee
        June 10, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

        #YouOtherPostersCan’tDeny

        • Kinoko
          Kinoko
          June 10, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

          #WhenACongresswomanWalksInWithHerIttyBittyHands

  9. lia47
    lia47
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    ROBIN IS NOT TRUMP

    shes sarah palin

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

      No, Robin actually has a career in politics.

      • drs
        drs
        June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

        And she’s almost completed at least one term without resigning halfway through. Granted it’s a two year term, but still.

      • Vinny
        Vinny
        June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

        She doesn’t have any illegitimate grandkids, either

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

          Now I’m imagining a complicated plot by Robin to make Joe and Roz get married without either’s consent.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 10, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

            I had no idea shotgun weddings were so complicated.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 10, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

          “Family values” don’tcha know!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

      Robin is both of them fused into an unholy sugar-fueled union.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 10, 2016 at 3:17 am | #

        Does the sugar emulsify a human being into the mix somewhere?

      • Rheinman
        Rheinman
        June 10, 2016 at 8:39 am | #

        +1 Internet to you. I was thinking the same thing.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

      Robin speaks in coherent sentences, so no.

  10. Wheelpath
    Wheelpath
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    #LeslieSqueeze

    Cuz you know, she has normal hands

  11. Raen
    Raen
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m starting to feel very sorry for Leslie.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      DOA Robin isn’t the same as WV! Robin. I like the fact Willis isn’t afraid to change the characters.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 10, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

        Yeah, it’s interesting to see who becomes more interesting and positive with the universe switch to playing by non-superhero non-slapstick rules and who doesn’t. And who’s normal antics suddenly become way more menacing or awful given the real-world context.

        • Kinoko
          Kinoko
          June 10, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

          Yeah, it’s a really interesting shift.
          Although, considering Robin’s canon sexuality is “straight with an exception”, I am hoping perhaps her ideology shifts once she properly identifies said exception.

          • sun tzu
            sun tzu
            June 10, 2016 at 2:13 am | #

            More like “straight with a few exceptions, of which she acknowledges only one”. Remember that she was attracted to Amber before even meeting Leslie.

          • John
            John
            June 10, 2016 at 2:21 am | #

            That’s what Walkyverse Robin claimed her sexuality was quite a long way up that river in Egypt. It underwent a fair amount of revision as her relationship with Leslie developed. Last time she elaborated on it, I believe she was identifying as “kinda indefinably queer”. And Leslie was not her only “exception”. Looking at her actual behavior and known attractions, I’d say she’s probably somewhere between 2 and 4 on the Kinsey scale. Definitely not the maaaaybe 1 she was claiming at that point.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              June 10, 2016 at 6:20 am | #

              IIRC Robin’s “canon” sexuality according to Willis on tumblr was that she feels more comfortable admitting attraction to men than woman, so she identifies as “generally indefinably kinda queer.”

              So, yeah, somewhere between 2-4 on the Kinsey.

              • Emily
                Emily
                June 10, 2016 at 7:06 am | #

                So she’s a scared bisexual.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  June 10, 2016 at 7:18 am | #

                  Oooooor maybe Robin just identifies with a label she finds more appropriate to herself.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  June 10, 2016 at 12:51 pm | #

                  Eh, “generally queer” is a hard way to hide from being bi because it culturally covers a lot of the same area. Honestly, bi/pan/queer/(othermultigender sexuality terms) are best just taken as what they mean for the person.*

                  *Side rant: I wish there were more terms for sexualities that were multi but not all encompassing, like what would be the term of sexuality for someone into non-binary folks and women but not men?

                • David M Willis
                  David M Willis
                  June 10, 2016 at 1:11 pm | #

                  A MISANDROSEXUAL

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  June 10, 2016 at 2:44 pm | #

                  Yay, new word!

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  June 10, 2016 at 6:15 pm | #

                  @Cerberus

                  I’ve started to use polysexual to define all groups that express attraction to more than one gender identity. Also it helps cut down on retyping bi/pan/ace/demi/etc

                  I generally just prefer using Queer, though. I like the unity in the word.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            June 10, 2016 at 12:47 pm | #

            Robin, Leslie, and Ultra-Car’s canon sexualities:
            http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1994

  12. cesium133
    cesium133
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    If Trump had knockers…

    (And now you all will have nightmares)

    • Spidergirl
      Spidergirl
      June 10, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      Goddamnit I did NOT need that image.

      • Chaucer59
        Chaucer59
        June 10, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

        You honestly hadn’t noticed the Donald’s enormous moobs? (Of course, that might be an optical illusion—y’know being juxtaposed with his tiny orange hands and all).

      • vlademir1
        vlademir1
        June 10, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

        Art of exactly that has existed for ages, it’s not exactly new nightmare fuel.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:23 am | #

        Look, there’s a way to get that out of your head. Just imagine a different image instead.

        …. like he got those knocker implants from the same surgeon who did his hair. …. and they’re covered in his hair.

        See? Now you don’t have that awful image from before to worry about any more.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 10, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

          Of course there’s hair! Gotta hide those ingrown hair scars.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 10, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      Does this mean Ted Cruz erotic fanfiction is just got a new subgenre?

      • cesium133
        cesium133
        June 10, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        Somewhere out there is a Trump/Cruz slashfic. I am happy that I am not at that place.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 10, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

          That place is Amazon.

          …and I just learned that Kindle Unlimited lets you read all the Donald Trump erotica you can handle.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 10, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

            Forgot to add “at no cost.”

            (other than your sanity, I suppose)

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              June 10, 2016 at 3:17 am | #

              What’s sanity? Can you eat it?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 10, 2016 at 7:21 am | #

            I’ve already read all the Donald Trump erotica I can handle.
            Those 3 words were sufficient.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            June 10, 2016 at 9:22 am | #

            “All the Donald Trump erotica you can handle.”

            Adding those last three words makes the statement true. The amount of Trump erotica i can handle is zero, and there is at least that much of it.

        • transgressingwaffle
          transgressingwaffle
          June 10, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

          Read at own risk

          https://www.wattpad.com/story/63316060-donald-a-donald-trump-x-ted-cruz-fanfic

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:25 am | #

        You think it’s new. I love your optimism.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 10, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

          Fanfiction? Yeah, I know fuck all about that. I’m all about “art” to get my nightmare fuel fix so I know it isn’t new there.

  13. Dara
    Dara
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    So I totally did the “tiny baby hands” song too early is what I’m seeing. #goddammit

  14. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I hope Robin and Manley get into a fight fight, where Manley has the starting advantage because of her small hands.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 10, 2016 at 10:06 am | #

      Manley shows up wearing oversized costume fists.

      “Hey, you ever hear what they say about a man with large hands?”

  15. Taigan
    Taigan
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Nnooooo!!!
    Will Trump references pervade all my sources of entertainment?!
    Is no place safe?
    DAMN THIS YEAR TO HELL!!!!!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 10, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      I’m just saying, we can’t conclusively declare that all the deaths of awesome celebrities WOULDN’T stop if we threw Donald into a volcano until we try it.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        June 10, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        No!!! If we do that, then lord Cthulhu shall smite us for slaying his spawn!!!

        • vlademir1
          vlademir1
          June 10, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

          Meh. Cthulhi are essentially a dime a dozen. Only things cheaper are Shagoth and Migo.

          • Rukduk
            Rukduk
            June 10, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

            Please stop!! It’s hard to deal with the elder gods when they’re angry!!!
            Err…
            I mean…
            Uh…
            Ah Screw it. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!!

            • Tyler Durham
              Tyler Durham
              June 10, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

              Really? You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t pull the mask of the ol’ Lonely Ranger, and most importantly, YOU DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SUMMON AND ELDER GOD.

              • Tyler Durham
                Tyler Durham
                June 10, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

                Lone Ranger. I hate auto correct.

                • SgtWadeyWilson
                  SgtWadeyWilson
                  June 10, 2016 at 2:44 am | #

                  I like Lonely Ranger better, it sounds like an emo parody version. The Lonely Ranger… and his imaginary sidekick Taunto! It’s just a bunch of adventures where he tries to make friends and stuff, but Taunto’s mocking causes him to screw that up while accidentally saving the day. It’d be terrible, and maybe last for five stories, but I would read ’em. Also, Silver is replaced with Bronze, a dead horse’s skull that he talks to.

                  I may have thought about this too much…

                • Needfuldoer
                  Needfuldoer
                  June 10, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

                  How was he the “Lone” Ranger when he had Tonto?

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  June 10, 2016 at 9:24 am | #

                  Easy – Tonto’s not a Ranger.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  June 10, 2016 at 2:45 pm | #

                  Maybe we can get Johnny Depp to play Taunto.

              • Disloyal Subject
                Disloyal Subject
                June 10, 2016 at 3:16 am | #

                Meh, it’s not like they were calling on the King in Yellow. Cthulhu’s just a herald.
                Hell, Cthulhu got put down by a steamboat – not permanently, but it hurt. That suggests that modern military technology could have signigicant effect on it, if not on the more potent entities.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  June 10, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

                  Elephant swarm, yo.

                • Tyler Durham
                  Tyler Durham
                  June 10, 2016 at 11:31 am | #

                  That’s actually a good point provided be can be targeted remotely and actual people don’t have to look at him. If not, we’re looking at a lot of insane soldiers who happen to be right next to some nasty fire power.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  June 11, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

                  Nah, the Elephants are starting out at max sanity to start with, so they shouldn’t be getting plummetted to 0. Plus, partially mad elephants will basically be charging in a straight line anyway, because elephants, and Cthulhu will be eating them as part of its attack, shielding some of you.

          • Lovely Monsters
            Lovely Monsters
            June 10, 2016 at 5:22 am | #

            I had never considered before what the plural of _Cthulhu_ might be, but _Cthulhi_ is so adorable there can be no other option now.

          • davidbreslin101
            davidbreslin101
            June 10, 2016 at 2:29 pm | #

            Cthulhu-spawn calimari is DELICIOUS and soooo cheap. It’s like the fishmongers can’t wait to get rid of the stuff.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          June 10, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

          Well the Elder Gods are cold and uncaring so it’s all cool. Cthulhu won’t mind.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        June 10, 2016 at 9:28 am | #

        #throwtrumpinavolcano

    • danuis
      danuis
      June 10, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      I boasted I could ignore Trump and Clinton if Sanders finally, totally loses on the 28th. Another guy said, ‘No, you won’t. It’s like a train-wreck. You can’t stop looking away, even though it’s so damn distraughting.’

      I want to know what super pheromones Trump spent the last of his monies on that gets the whole world to look at him like he’s Helen of Troy or Narcissus.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 10, 2016 at 3:07 am | #

        Marketing. He’s playing the right’s “they’re taking away your country”, “you should be angry about this even though it’s not 100% true” rhetoric that appeals to the lowest common denominator at an emotional level. It’s almost impossible to redirect an emotional response with a logical counter-argument.

        • davidbreslin101
          davidbreslin101
          June 10, 2016 at 2:32 pm | #

          Similar things are happening in Britain. After decades of pacifying the masses with far-right hate speech, the Conservative establishment have woken up to find a monster they’ve created but can’t control.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 10, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

      If we’re very very lucky and we eat our vegetables, maybe this will be the only year we have to deal with said Trump references in our media.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

        Actually, I’m looking forward to him losing the election and EVERY politician and media personality he’s insulted gleefully trying to fit the words “Trump” and “loser” into the same sentence as often as possible, for the rest of his life.

      • foamy
        foamy
        June 10, 2016 at 3:02 am | #

        This comic’s either gonna be really dated by December, or no longer funny.

        OTOH: There’s a prediction out there that Trump being elected will be good for the Canadian housing market, on the grounds that the subsequent cratering of the U.S. economy will result in a. low interest rates and b. an exodus to Canada.

        So there’s an upside for some of us.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          June 10, 2016 at 10:13 am | #

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_America_Great_Again
          “Make America Great Again,” as a slogan, is older than some of us here.

        • Harvey Janus
          Harvey Janus
          June 10, 2016 at 7:02 pm | #

          I really hope it’s dated in December.

  16. Saxa
    Saxa
    June 10, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Robin needs to delete her account.

    Type “woo” if you get the reference.

    • Lucena
      Lucena
      June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Waa?

      • Some1
        Some1
        June 10, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

        Weeeeeeeee!

        • cesium133
          cesium133
          June 10, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

          Oh crap, it’s everywhere!

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 10, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

        Wah.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      June 10, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 10, 2016 at 3:20 am | #

        BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
        SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          June 10, 2016 at 3:58 am | #

          Me an’ da boyz don’t care ’bout no skully throne!! Wez fightin’ fer Gork ‘n Mork!!! Or iz it Mork ‘n Gork? Whateva’, WWWAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!! Die stoopid spikey humies!!!

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

      What’s the Nature Boy got to do with this?

    • Sadie
      Sadie
      June 10, 2016 at 1:47 am | #

      I prefer the classic “I understood that reference.” However, since you made me smile: woo!

  17. TheAnonymousGuy
    TheAnonymousGuy
    June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    frickin’ hashtags, how are they still a thing?

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

      Much like how Google is still a thing, I believe.

      • Mindlink
        Mindlink
        June 10, 2016 at 7:06 am | #

        Not really, Google serves an important function in enabling us to find information quickly. Hashtags just looks dumb and serves no purpose.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 11, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

          There are alternatives, but it has just become ubiquitous. And it is a simple way to link together conversations/thoughts across social media, both single sites and multiple sites, with people who you may not know, but shows that you do have something in common, and perhaps become friends over, if explored. Plus the pound sign to my knowledge wasn’t used much for anything code-wise, so that helped create a flag for it, like how an asterisk can be used for a spelling correction, or a slash (or maybe it’s the backslash) for an action.

          • TheAnonymousGuy
            TheAnonymousGuy
            June 12, 2016 at 3:03 pm | #

            why do you need a hashtag to show your interested in a conversation, doesn’t engaging in the conversation express your interest already?

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              June 13, 2016 at 1:04 pm | #

              It’s streamlined. Easier to search for. Pop a hashtag into a search engine, either website or internet, and it lets you easily see different conversations about the same thing. It’s like character tags. Or location tags. Conversation tags just make sense to me, but maybe I’m weird that way.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

      #EndHashtags

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        June 10, 2016 at 2:14 am | #

        #End#

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 11, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

          End#?

  18. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    *my brother the ref blows his whistle*
    BROTHER: Illegal Use of Hands by number Zero of the Offense. Five yard penalty. Second Down.

  19. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    … I’m noticing parallels.

  20. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Gee, Robin reminds me of someone, suddenly her campaign seems like the worst possible thing that could happen to the dumbiverse.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      Donald Trump has kind of made the idea of an underqualified loudmouth idiot with too much ego look like an actual bad thing rather than just endearingly funny, hasn’t he?

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 10, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

        Yeah, my consolation thought this election is just the hope that when he gets elected President by the neofascist movement he’s stoking, I’ll get sent to the same internment camp as my friends and loved ones so I can at least see some familiar faces while I rot.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          June 10, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

          My consolation is in the horrifying situation Trump is elected:

          1. Trump actually doesn’t have any principles so any campaign promises are as likely lies or not.

          2. The executive actually doesn’t deal with most of his campaign promises.

          3. The Republican Party and Democrats can actually agree in their hatred of him.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            June 10, 2016 at 1:33 am | #

            On point 3: While I don’t want to see him elected, if he is I anticipate him being a great unifier. Specifically, I anticipate a powerful, bipartisan impeachment within a year of his inauguration.

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              June 10, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

              I figure his election would result in four years of failure to get anything (that he wants) done.

          • Willoughby Chase
            Willoughby Chase
            June 10, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

            If he gets elected, the first thing he’ll do is start writing executive orders to cancel his debts. He’s already using his campaign to denigrate the judge in the Trump University case.

            A new Presidential Guard with Gold Uniforms.

            A gold Air Force One.

            White House? Gold House!

            The US – and world – economy will be in tatters, death squads and concentration camps will be the norm, but at least it will look, um, awesome!

            • Solenoid
              Solenoid
              June 10, 2016 at 2:41 am | #

              An orange Caesar Augustus.

              • Solenoid
                Solenoid
                June 10, 2016 at 2:43 am | #

                And I do say that in a “this is the death of democracy” sort of way. :C

            • SgtWadeyWilson
              SgtWadeyWilson
              June 10, 2016 at 2:51 am | #

              I think the word you were looking for is tacky. (Not that the current government fare looks good, but Trump’s style is a clear step down.)

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          June 10, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

          I’m holding out hope that the Russians, Chinese, and Cubans work together to assassinate him before the election ends. Which, while admittedly a horrible thing two wish on a…being capable of speech, is better for the world than the alternative.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            June 10, 2016 at 1:25 am | #

            I do not personally wish that anything ill befalls any of the candidates.
            However, if Trump’s obituary were to be published in next week’s newspapers, I would derive great pleasure in reading it.

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              June 10, 2016 at 10:17 am | #

              Unfortunately for us (and possibly for them), I think the Secret Service is obligated to guard presidential candidates: not just present and former presidents, but potential ones too.

              They must have their hands very full.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          June 10, 2016 at 3:25 am | #

          Like, I know the fear, but he /is/ pretty likely to lose.

          I mean don’t stay home. Vote against him. But he /is/ pretty likely to lose as long as the left doesn’t fracture harder than the right. I *am* really annoyed at a bunch of White People I know who keep insisting Bern or Bust, but given that it’s mostly the yoofs I think we can reasonably safely ignore it as long as they don’t vote Trump.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 10, 2016 at 7:28 am | #

            Remember the PUMAs 8 years ago? How all the Clinton supporters were going to sweep McCain into the White House?
            Bernie’s starting his shift. The vast majority of his supporters will follow.

            • Li
              Li
              June 10, 2016 at 11:48 am | #

              He’s been saying for ages, please vote for her if she gets the nomination.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              June 11, 2016 at 3:01 am | #

              McCain /lost/, so yes, that is a pretty good demonstration of my point.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                June 11, 2016 at 3:08 am | #

                I mean, I specified the yoofs. By the numbers, they bluntly don’t vote.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

        ….

        Okay, I just imagined Homer Simpson becoming president and it NOT being all awesome hijinks.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      June 10, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      The scary thing is that US politics on all levels is full of dumbasses. Just look at the cranks who get elected to the office of County Sheriff, school board member etc.

      • cesium133
        cesium133
        June 10, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

        Plus, everyone focuses on the national politics, but it’s the local cranks who have the biggest effect on your life.

        • Gamaran Sepudomyn
          Gamaran Sepudomyn
          June 10, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

          The nationwide dumbasses are the ones that can place limits on the local ones, though.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

        It’s Sturgeon’s law, with command over nukes.

      • DSL
        DSL
        June 10, 2016 at 6:55 am | #

        Sinclair Lewis’s “It Can’t Happen Here.” I can’t recommend it highly enough, if you haven’t read it. The hazard isn’t in the Orange Dead Tribble in the White House, it’s all the mouth-breathers at the local level who see its presence there as a sign it’s OK to hate what they hate, and do something about it.

    • motorfirebox
      motorfirebox
      June 10, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      Wait, are we theorizing that Trump’s candidacy is the result of a massive sugar high?

      I mean, it seems super plausible and actually explains a lot. I just want to make sure that’s where we’re going with this.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

        My theory is Trump’s popularity is due to Grand Theft Auto becoming more and more like reality.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 10, 2016 at 2:14 am | #

          I don’t know what Ron Howard has to do with all this.

  21. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 10, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Hillary should take notes. ^_^

  22. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 10, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    #oldPeopleTryingToUSeTwitter

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

      #HowdoIturnthisthingon

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

      #NoDammitItsCalledAPoundSign

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        June 10, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

        #ItsCalledAnOctothorpe

        • AndieStardust
          AndieStardust
          June 10, 2016 at 6:15 am | #

          #isthishowkudsplaytictactoenow

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          June 10, 2016 at 9:30 am | #

          ‘octothorpe’ makes no sense! How do you get eight from that symbol? It divides into NINE, not eight!

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            June 10, 2016 at 10:56 pm | #

            Four lines crossing like that makes eight points … count ’em.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 10, 2016 at 9:28 am | #

        #huhhuhyousaidtits

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 11:17 am | #

      £GetOffMyLawn

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 11, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

        #+2

  23. Tualha
    Tualha
    June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Yes yes, let’s all fixate on the candidate’s tiny hands. What’s that? Issues? Bwahahaha! This is America, we don’t do that here.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

      Also, I don’t know what kind of issue some candidates are getting all over their tiny hands.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        June 10, 2016 at 10:21 am | #

        Issues followed by tissues, no doubt

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      June 10, 2016 at 3:19 am | #

      It’s Trump. There’s a shit ton of issues. People aren’t ignoring them when they’re poking him on a sore point. Like, do you remember people making fun Obama’s ears? Because Obama was chill, it wasn’t funny and nobody did it. But Trump genuinely feels insecure about his carny-hands, so…

      Plus it’d drive me bonkers to have to contemplate the depths of his terrible every time I commented on him.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      June 10, 2016 at 5:24 am | #

      That’s the problem with Drumpf, he doesn’t have any actual real political issues or plans laid out. Other than hating Muslims and Mexicans. So we gotta make fun of what we can!

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 8:45 pm | #

        Drumpf also hates other rich people. Not himself, mind you, but anyone who makes him look less awesome by comparison.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        June 11, 2016 at 3:09 am | #

        The Drumpf thing is fucking dumb and, more relevantly, kinda attacks a peg of trans people’s rights. Knock it off. People get to pick their names.

    • Emily
      Emily
      June 10, 2016 at 7:10 am | #

      Maybe if the dude could not change his stance on any given issue for more than twelve minutes at a time it would be possible to talk about his position on the issues but as it is his tiny hands and terrible hairpiece are about the most consistent thing about him.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 10, 2016 at 7:30 am | #

        And the ego.

        And the hate.

        And the frauds. And bribery.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          June 10, 2016 at 8:47 pm | #

          And the ties to the mafia and the crime and the swindles.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 11:17 am | #

      He hates people calling his hands tiny.

  24. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    #distictninewasnevergreat

    • Dara
      Dara
      June 10, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      Seriously. They don’t even try. I mean, their stylist dressed the Tributes last year as bread. As bread! Did they even have a proper stylist? Or names? Did they come up with that “bread” thing themselves?

      Just embarrassing. Worst. District. Evar.

  25. Coco Pommel
    Coco Pommel
    June 10, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    #DesanTrump

    • Coco Pommel
      Coco Pommel
      June 10, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      Oh, I almost forgot. 2016.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 10, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

        GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  26. Some1
    Some1
    June 10, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    My brain is still trying to decide if the third panel is hot or not

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 10, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      That’s odd. My brain came to a consensus immediately.

      • Some1
        Some1
        June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

        yeah…I’m going with hot.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

      Does it count as hot if the early morning tarmac temperature is down in the 50s (Fahrenheit, duh) and certain parts of the anatomy are reacting accordingly?

    • Emily
      Emily
      June 10, 2016 at 7:12 am | #

      It’s not. Scumbag politicians are never hot.

  27. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Finally a campaign I can get behind.
    http://imgur.com/a/ChNxV

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      June 10, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Godspeed Yotomoe, I salute you!

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      June 10, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

      hah

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:53 am | #

      He gives us the images we need. And want.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2016 at 9:32 am | #

      Better with the flags. Go with the flags!!

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 10, 2016 at 2:49 pm | #

      A tit in every pot. Breasts for everyone.

  28. Showler
    Showler
    June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    I worry that Willis will have tried to go “over the top” with his exaggeration and will still fall short of the sad reality.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      June 10, 2016 at 2:47 am | #

      Given that he has likely already finished this storyline in the buffer, it is certain that this is the case unless it’s all Robin DeSanto, all the time for this one.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2016 at 9:33 am | #

      It’s hard to trump a man whose name literally is, ‘Trump’.

  29. Ardin
    Ardin
    June 10, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    What is Robin’s personality exactly in this comic?

    I read Shortpacked many years ago without knowing anything about the walkyverse. I didn’t understand much of it, obviously, and I don’t even really care to read all related stuff and then re-read it. But I definitely disliked Robin for the way she talked, plus I just found her character to be very annoying. I wonder if that’s gonna carry over. I see she has the obnoxius ghetto talk, so that’s one point to the dislike scale.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Robin is desperate for attention and for people to like her. So she acts wacky and outrageous despite people not really wanting her to. So she’s perfect for politics.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      June 10, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

      in shortpacked… she was very, very egocentrical and did a bunch of crappy things.

      (and so, I really don’t get how people tend to really hate Shortpacked’s Malaya but Robin gets a pass)

      • John
        John
        June 10, 2016 at 2:28 am | #

        Robin’s funny.

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          June 10, 2016 at 3:45 am | #

          ^ Also explains much of Mike’s popularity, despite him being a colossal jackass.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          June 10, 2016 at 2:20 pm | #

          No, she’s not. She’s a LOLRANDOM teenager in the body of a 30+-year old woman.

      • Mindlink
        Mindlink
        June 10, 2016 at 7:13 am | #

        Actually I think it is very simple, Robin smiles a lot, Malaya don’t.
        Strangely it’s the opposite reason with Mike, never thought about if before, but I believe there excist a certain double standard there.
        If a girl wants to be both a an asshole and popular, she has to smile, if a guy wants to be the same, he has to never smile.
        Just try to picture a smug bastard, he is smiling, right ? Don’t you just want to hit him ? Then picture a MAGNIFICENT bastard, and I’ll bet he has a stoic face with only the tiniest of smirks every now and then.
        Do the same with a girl, most people would probably find the situation turned around.
        Probably some bullshit vestigical biological functions left in our brains, like maybe a smiling egotistical man was more likely to steal your mammuth skins, I dunno, I’m not an anthropologist.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        June 10, 2016 at 11:56 am | #

        Robin doesn’t INTENTIONALLY hurt people for the hell of it.

    • Li
      Li
      June 10, 2016 at 11:45 am | #

      “Ghetto talk”

      Boy of all the reasons to dislike Robin, that’s gotta be one of the least valid.

      • Harvey Janus
        Harvey Janus
        June 10, 2016 at 7:10 pm | #

        “Ghetto talk”? Can someone explain?

  30. Mada
    Mada
    June 10, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    Ah, so Robin’s opponent keeps trumping her at every turn 🙂

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      June 10, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      LOL You said “Trump”

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      June 10, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      That’s because Robin didn’t use her trump card yet.

      • tyersome
        tyersome
        June 10, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        … would it be wrong to say that she seems to have a full hand of tramp cards?

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 10, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

          Said the secret word?

  31. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    June 10, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    I would actually like to take a moment to say how much I love the change to Robin DeSanto in the Dumbing of Age verse. It would have been very easy to just have all of the characters be exactly the same as their Shortpacked versions and some of them are basically the same. However, the changes to Amber, Robin, and Mike all have been very interesting. Well, not so much Mike but Amber and Robin especially. You take the elements which were endearingly wacky in the previous world and place them in a more realistic one so they become more interesting. In Amber’s case, her past and how it relates to her superhero fantasies so now she’s bordering on the brink of a psychotic break. In Robin’s case, you take all of her selfishness and causal indifference to anything then put it in politics to show exactly how a lot of politicians react. It creates the interesting fact of Robin being the sort of girl which Leslie would love in SP! but just about the worst sort of person in DOA. I’m still hoping they have an affair but I’d love to see Robin actually go full evil in this universe. Except with no Ethan Blue Screen of Death to save her. Is that so wrong?

  32. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    June 10, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    Trevor Noah is going to Sue somebody.

  33. brumagem
    brumagem
    June 10, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    I never actually thought I’d say this when I started Shortpacked! but Robin is officially boring.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      I’ve been waiting for her all year. I love Robin the sleazebag.

  34. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    You know who else has #tinyhands?
    Tyrannosaurus Rex.

    Just think, Robin! That means you have something in common with the King of Beers Dinosaurs.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      June 10, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      He was angry all the time because he couldn’t do some things with his little hands. I’ll let you figure it out.

      • biffzinker
        biffzinker
        June 10, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

        Yeah it would be a bugger trying to tie your shoe laces.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 10, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

        Play his flute? I bet it was that.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          June 10, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

          He’s not Hameln’s flutist tho.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        June 10, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

        Give hugs? Yeah that’d make someone angry.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      June 10, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      Manly will just identify with Spinosaurus to counter that. Although now I want Dina’s opinion on that scene from Jurassic Park III.

      • Some1
        Some1
        June 10, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

        I may be one of the few people in the world that doesn’t like the T-rex best. Spinosaurus is better,bigger, and didn’t have tiny hands.

        Dina would probably approve of the spinosaurus winning.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          June 10, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

          Except for the fact that all alleged “fossil evidence” of Spinosaurus was destroyed during WWII, so we can’t really be sure if the species even really existed. At least, last time I checked. Granted the last time I checked was about eight years ago, so I don’t know if any new fossils have been discovered.

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            June 10, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

            There are other fossils of Spinosaurus. It even got a recently revised morphology due to more complete fossils so now it has a larger sail and much shorter legs which meant it would have to walk on all fours and probably spent a lot of time swimming in water. It’s funny that the only thing kinda right in Jurassic Park 3 was having a Spinosaurus that could swim before we learned this.

            • Rukduk
              Rukduk
              June 10, 2016 at 1:51 am | #

              Sweet. But at the same time, kinda disappointing cause now Spinosaurus doesn’t look as cool. But, more for the T-Rex and Gigantosaurus.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 10, 2016 at 3:29 am | #

          I always preferred smaller tyrannosaurs over rex. Giganotosaurus was bigger anyway, but Allosaurus and Albertasaurus just always seemed more interesting.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 6:49 am | #

        Every single paleontologist I know HATES the T-Rex losing.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      June 10, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

      Only relative to his massive size. It’s arms are still about the size of a beefy human’s. And its “fingers” are larger than our hands.

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      June 10, 2016 at 9:12 am | #

      Remember people, dinosaurs have rejected Trump. They’ll probably reject Robin as well.

  35. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 10, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    You know, just because there are ref Jokes about current events, doesn’t means Robin shares the other dude’s views on politics.

  36. magicallady
    magicallady
    June 10, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    #senatorbabyhands

  37. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 10, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    So…I don’t really find this comic very funny.
    It’s kind of the most obnoxious kind of reference, in that it’s like “This thing exists. This thing exists. Remember” with out an cleverness or subversion really.
    This strip feels like it REALLY wants to be a shortpacked! strip, the difference being, Shortpacked didn’t have a 3 + month buffer. The only part of the strip i found funny really was panel 4, and honestly I feel like if this was just a strip about literal Trump and just replace breast size for dick size or something it’d be pretty great. This strip feels like it needs to go out of its way to establish previously made “Trump” jokes that 100 people have already made so that the punchline can work. I don’t know. I just found myself kind of cringing at the delivery of this one

    • Dallas
      Dallas
      June 10, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

      I thought you loved this comic, drawing guy?

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        June 10, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

        He’s just talking about today’s particular comic. Honestly, it was probably way funnier when it was written a couple months ago, but now it’s kinda worn and depressing. For which I blame the omnipresence of Trump in the media.

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          June 10, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

          Making fun of Trump was funny when he wasn’t very possibly the next President. Now he’s horrifying.

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            June 10, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

            It stopped being funny long ago. Elected or not the damage is already real.

            • Gamaran Sepudomyn
              Gamaran Sepudomyn
              June 10, 2016 at 3:25 am | #

              And he’ll never get punished for it.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 10, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

        Let me put it like this. If I was more outspoken about things I don’t like, I would either be driven crazy by all the backlash or just out and out banned. Instead I try to focus on drawing the things I do like and don’t speak up unless something REALLY bugs me. I censor myself pretty heavily on this site.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        June 10, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

        If you don’t like a comic, you don’t tend to even bother criticizing it.

        Personally, I think the joke works because of where it goes afterwards, but to each their own.

        And, so I don’t make yet another post: Yotomoe: you don’t strike me as the type of person who would get banned. A lot of backlash, since you’re like Walky with better self-censorship, but nothing that would get you banned.

        I’ve been a pretty big jerk at times and nothing has happened to me.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 10, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

          I’ve come close already. It’s just people don’t know me super well here.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            June 10, 2016 at 6:28 am | #

            Man, don’t sweat it. It’s not like you just rage at length about anything. You always clearly define your criticism and why you feel the way you do. That’s a lot more than I could say for myself.

            I mean, if things were that strict here the car chase would have been a massacre. Also you draw cute Malayas so we’d probably forgive if you killed a man just to watch him die.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          June 10, 2016 at 1:33 am | #

          Oh, when it come to comics (or most media) some people loooove to get overdramatic anytime something doesn’t go their way.

          They’ll throw tantrum, threatening to leave, etc. Thanksfully we seems to be pretty spared of those here. Or maybe it gets deleted when spotted.

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            June 10, 2016 at 3:32 am | #

            The Willis is pretty on the ball with censorship and deletion, so I’m guessing the latter.
            Personally I feel he’s a little overzealous with it at times, but eh, it’s his site.

    • fogel
      fogel
      June 10, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

      (A) I think that “#MakeDistrict9GreatAgain” is a pretty good take down of “MAGA!”.
      (B) Robin grabbing her breasts is a decent take on DT’s and Senator Rubio’s dick-talk.
      On the other hand, how do you satirize/parody DT? The other day I was reading a story about his antics to my wife. She t hough that it was The Onion. It was the New York Times.
      The Onion’s best re DT was a story asking whether he really said that he would pay the legal fees of abortion clinic bombers or that just sounds like something he’d say.
      DT is immune to parody by others because he does it so well himself, while the Republicans tell us this is ok, really, nothing to worry about, and the media goes “Isn’t this great!!”

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        June 10, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

        Sadly, The Onion tend to be more prophetical than satirical at times.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 10, 2016 at 3:33 am | #

        DT keeps making me think Diamond Tiara.
        Sadly, I don’t see Donald getting a redemption episode.

        • Lumpy Frogsnuggler
          Lumpy Frogsnuggler
          June 10, 2016 at 7:55 am | #

          How did I not notice the parallels before?! You’ve made my day.

      • DSL
        DSL
        June 10, 2016 at 7:04 am | #

        How to tell an Onion story from an an actual news story: The Onion story has tighter internal logic.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      June 10, 2016 at 4:05 am | #

      Yep, that’s my impression too. 4 months old news, ahahahahhaha. Ha. Haha…

  38. Just Me
    Just Me
    June 10, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    Robin isn’t the brightest bub in the DoA universe, but she doesn’t seem nearly as dim as Tiny Hand Trump.

    We’ll see.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      It depends how much family values she espouses.

      • magicallady
        magicallady
        June 10, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

        she espouses family values?

        • Charles Phipps
          Charles Phipps
          June 10, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

          That’s her whole platform as I understand it.

          • magicallady
            magicallady
            June 10, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

            but its robin, how well is she really gonna stick to her platform?

            • Charles Phipps
              Charles Phipps
              June 10, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

              Yeah, but DOA Amber is on the verge of straight-up, I’m not kidding, attempting to murder Sal.

              These are not the same characters.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                June 10, 2016 at 7:16 am | #

                I really don’t think that’s the case. She still seems to be caught up in her superhero “I must honorably defeat the villain to complete my character arc” fantasy.

                That ain’t good or even that much better, because even if Amber dresses it up in flowery language she’s still planning on beating the hell out of Sal in the name of some kind of vindication, but if she tried to actually kill Sal, hell, even if she thought about it, then Amber’s done. She would need to be gone from the comic forever. That’s taking her to a place that she won’t be able to come back from.

                • Charles Phipps
                  Charles Phipps
                  June 10, 2016 at 9:14 am | #

                  The “on the verge” thing is the point, though. Amber in DOA is seriously mentally ill and needs a Paul at Damascus life changing event to set her straight.

                  Robin could well be equally changed in this world.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              June 10, 2016 at 1:44 am | #

              Depends on what candy she’s been eating and how sticky that left her hands.

  39. NF
    NF
    June 10, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    I can’t decide if current events have made this comic better or worse than when it was written.

    • magicallady
      magicallady
      June 10, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      maybe better, since robin is far more tolerable and kinda jokey compared to the carrot man

  40. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    June 10, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    If you excuse me I have to go get my happy juice because of this strip.

    …

    Never mind. I’m all out of Apple Cider. Guess Cran-Raspberry will have to do.

  41. Rani
    Rani
    June 10, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

    I see what you did there

  42. Shiro
    Shiro
    June 10, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

    I would prefer to vote in this election than the one actually happening in real life.

  43. Lunias
    Lunias
    June 10, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

    Dinklebeeeeerg!

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

      And that’s where I’d but my second term in Congress, if I had one!

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 11, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

        *put

  44. Moose
    Moose
    June 10, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

    That’s an easy fix. She just needs surrogate hands. I volunteer for panel 3.

  45. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    June 10, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

    I confess, the Becky situation could be horrifyingly funny.

    “The incident with the shooter on campus is NOT a gun issue.”

    “Agreed.”

    “Oh, that was easy.”

    “It’s an issue about homophobia and the culture of hate fostered against them.”

    “Dammit!”

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 10, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

      I think Becky prefers to see it as funny. Beats the alternative.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:46 am | #

      I’m still voting for Robin and Becky to team up for… something. Anything. Because awesome.

      …. for the record, “because awesome” isn’t MY reasoning, it would be THEIR reasoning.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 10, 2016 at 3:32 am | #

        Yup.

        They wouldn’t be wrong.

  46. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    June 10, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

    Robin’s now a Trump Palin hybrid and now she’s gotta go

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

      Again, the horrifying thing is she’d be his perfect VP. Sadly, Trump won’t make Palin his so it could be some kind of horrifying singularity of ugly Americanism which absorbs both into an alternate universe where the Crime Syndicate rules.

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        June 10, 2016 at 3:06 am | #

        *Cut to Ultraman and Owlman plotting an assassination because even they have boundaries.*

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 10, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

      Roz start making more sextapes off campus pronto.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      June 10, 2016 at 7:25 am | #

      #makedonalddrumpfagain

  47. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    June 10, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

    Not the hat.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 10, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

      Yeah, where is the sombrero.

      Lame.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 10, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

        “We don’t want Mexicans, we just want their somberos. …. And they’ll be AMERICAN-MADE sombreros!”

        “Uh, ma’am, isn’t your ethnici-”

        “SILENCE, Aide! ECONOMY!”

  48. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    June 10, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

    Y’know, Robin, if you want someone with regular-sized hands to

    …

    Okay, back. Creeped myself out so much I threw up in my mouth a little. Joe avatar, I have failed you.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 10, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

      I find that’s happens from time to time as well.

  49. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 10, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

    “I want to grab these boobs but…I’ve got these tiny hands. And those Double DeSanto’s on Robin? It’s gonna make them look even tinier…”
    “What if I hold them for you?”

    The Double DeSanto chest. Twice as much meat as the Manley’s chest and only worth one vote.

  50. Archivist
    Archivist
    June 10, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

    ROBIN, I HAVE MISSED YOU.

  51. Wryte
    Wryte
    June 10, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

    I may or may not have done a thing…

  52. biffzinker
    biffzinker
    June 10, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

    So Robin’s hands are tiny similar to the Teen Titans Go! Robin’s hands are referred to as baby hands by the other Titans?

    • magicallady
      magicallady
      June 10, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

      it is a truth universally acknowledged that all people named robin are cursed with baby hands

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 10, 2016 at 3:36 am | #

        So if I name my kid Robin, they’ll have a natural advantage working with small machinery? Tempting.

  53. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    June 10, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

    You know it is okay to quit, regroup, and try again in two to four years. The sleep deprived orange monkey with access to nuclear launch codes is not worth it.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      June 10, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

      #UnseenUniversityLibrarianforPresident

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        June 10, 2016 at 5:33 am | #

        Ook!

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        June 10, 2016 at 9:19 am | #

        He’s not sleep deprived and he has access to things far worse than nuclear weapons already.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          June 10, 2016 at 7:01 pm | #

          Really? How could one sleep when they live where the books live? Especially the magic books? Heck, I didn’t sleep for two nights in a row when I first discovered webcomics!

  54. Tacos
    Tacos
    June 10, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

    Ah jeez. We’re not gonna have a wall of hashtags in the comments section are we? >.>U

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 10, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

      #what?

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        June 10, 2016 at 3:01 am | #

        #awallofhashtags

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 10, 2016 at 3:37 am | #

          #it’scalledapoundsigndammit
          #prettysuresomeonepostedthatalready

          • SgtWadeyWilson
            SgtWadeyWilson
            June 10, 2016 at 3:58 am | #

            #Octothorpe
            #IknowtheyalreadypostedTHAT

        • Dean
          Dean
          June 10, 2016 at 9:58 am | #

          #makehashtagsgreatagain

          • Commodore Jeep-Eep
            Commodore Jeep-Eep
            June 10, 2016 at 6:22 pm | #

            #StopThat.

            • SgtWadeyWilson
              SgtWadeyWilson
              June 10, 2016 at 7:02 pm | #

              #WhyStopNow

  55. Shaunock
    Shaunock
    June 10, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

    Is Robin just Dina without a hat..?
    /conspiracy

    • Dave
      Dave
      June 10, 2016 at 1:54 pm | #

      Yes, deliberately. Robin was the character who debuted in the Walkyverse following Dina’s…sudden exit, and the fact that they looked so alike yet behaved so differently was a Thing.

  56. deadlinedance
    deadlinedance
    June 10, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

    Wait, I thought she was Sarah Palin…
    Now she’s Trump?
    aaaaaggggghhhhhh

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      June 10, 2016 at 7:23 am | #

      *Drumpf

  57. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 10, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

    Ah, politics.

    I look forward to see her posters.

  58. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 10, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

    There is only one way I see this ending : DeSanto and Manley. In bed.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 10, 2016 at 1:51 am | #

      It’s been done. Enough for it to be a cliche. Politics, bedfellows, etc.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        June 10, 2016 at 11:55 pm | #

        IT’s been done. in Shortpacked 🙂

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 10, 2016 at 3:47 am | #

      But would Roz film it, or pay someone else to so she doesn’t have to watch her sister bumping uglies with an old scared white dude?

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 10, 2016 at 9:19 am | #

      With Leslie.

  59. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    June 10, 2016 at 1:16 am | #

    Dammit, why must Willis make the unholy Palin-Trump hybrid so adorable? Lookit that angry, hatted face.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 10, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

      I think that’s the motivation of about half her voter base.

  60. Falcon
    Falcon
    June 10, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

    Robin might not be a paragon of virtue for the Dumbiverse at present, but she is great fun to watch as a character.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

      Oh yeah, I love sleazy Robin.

  61. NullSet
    NullSet
    June 10, 2016 at 1:21 am | #

    I really missed Robin.

  62. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    June 10, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

    Anyone want to see Congresswoman DeSanto become an antagonist?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 10, 2016 at 2:29 am | #

      I think that it’s pretty much indicated that she will be. Willis is sort of belabouring the point in this strip.

  63. Dean
    Dean
    June 10, 2016 at 1:55 am | #

    #tinyhands is a local hashtag. Mike is behind it, I bet.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      June 10, 2016 at 2:59 am | #

      *Imagines Mike smiling evilly at his phone screen for hours on end, switching Wi-fi networks and at twitter accounts every half hour.* So that is what he is doing! No wonder he hasn’t been seen recently!

      • Gamaran Sepudomyn
        Gamaran Sepudomyn
        June 10, 2016 at 3:28 am | #

        Mike doing good is disturbing.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        June 10, 2016 at 3:39 am | #

        …that’s completely unrealistic. No way Mike would be smiling. I think he’s almost physically incapable of the act.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          June 10, 2016 at 4:02 am | #

          Mike is half-drunk tweeting. It explains the good thing and the smile thing! I swear I can dig myself out of this hole!

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 10, 2016 at 9:20 am | #

      Of course!

  64. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 10, 2016 at 2:28 am | #

    My God! The girl is an idiot!

    Well, of course she is! She’s Robin!

  65. bleepbloop
    bleepbloop
    June 10, 2016 at 2:36 am | #

    robins a trump/rubio/clinton hybrid

    I fear for district 9

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 2:57 am | #

      They’re going to round up all the aliens and put them in ghettos.

  66. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    June 10, 2016 at 3:39 am | #

    Is Shortpacked back? Am I dead? Was it all a dream?

  67. Rycan
    Rycan
    June 10, 2016 at 3:42 am | #

    Yes, I think a Robin storyline will be a welcome change of pace after the Ross storyline.

  68. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    June 10, 2016 at 3:56 am | #

    Anybody else find it more than a little bit hypocritical that Robin created a hashtag flaunting her own sexuality (#DeSantoHugeHonkers) while at the same time she has called out her sister for flaunting hers?

    • Chris73
      Chris73
      June 10, 2016 at 4:28 am | #

      If there was a vote for a character never to be seen again I’d vote Robin, l mean she’s got one heckava punchable face in the third panel

    • JBento
      JBento
      June 10, 2016 at 8:38 am | #

      Would that be more or less hypocritical that what real-life politicians do, like all the anti-gay republicans that have been caught having sex in public restrooms, and like all the politicians from both parties saying they’re oh so very sorry and devastated about mass shootings while failing every piece of gun control legislation that passes in front of them?

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 9:16 am | #

        Hell, you can just point to all the family values Republicans who cheat on their spouses. Albeit, the Republicans actually get half a pass as John Edwards broke the scales on that one.

  69. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 10, 2016 at 4:12 am | #

    Wait, WHAT???? #TinyHands is a real thing????

    On that note, someone REALLY need to put some#desantohugehonkers on twitter.

  70. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    June 10, 2016 at 5:08 am | #

    The tiny hands thing is my favorite running gag on Last Week Tonight! It’s even better than the ‘a country you think about so little that you didn’t realize this is not it’ meme xD

    #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain

    • JohnnyO
      JohnnyO
      June 10, 2016 at 6:46 am | #

      I always notice the “a country you think about so little” things, because I was a poli sci major and know way too much about geography. The only one that got me was the very first Uruguay/Paraguay one.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      June 10, 2016 at 5:30 pm | #

      #drumpfhugehonkers

  71. XMS
    XMS
    June 10, 2016 at 5:49 am | #

    more brunettes why

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      June 10, 2016 at 6:05 am | #

      Because genetics. More people in the world are likely to have brown hair.

  72. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 10, 2016 at 5:52 am | #

    Just wait ’til the super pac catches wind of her 26-letter hashtag. That’s basically the whole alphabet.

  73. JohnnyO
    JohnnyO
    June 10, 2016 at 6:45 am | #

    Mr. Willis, I have a behind the scenes question – did you go back . Or did the buffer used to be slightly smaller.

    I seem to remember the story about Drumpf’s tiny, tiny, cheeto-colored hands coming out in March. But were the buffer the same size it is now you’d have comics drawn up to July by then, right?

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      June 10, 2016 at 12:35 pm | #

      The buffer shrunk substantially after the twins were born, I think, so this could be a result of that?

  74. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 10, 2016 at 6:59 am | #

    I’m still expecting Robin to target Carla as a easy ‘moral outrage’ campaining target and for it to blow up in her face. Possibly this may be how she and Leslie cross paths again and, maybe, it will be the dilemma of being attracted to someone who is her ideological adversary (even if it is just words she’s spouting to get votes) may make Robin to rethink her values.

    • Lumpy Frogsnuggler
      Lumpy Frogsnuggler
      June 10, 2016 at 8:04 am | #

      Or maybe the backlash destroys her campaign (with some help from Roz). Leslie will finally realize what an incredibly awful person Robin is and stop pining after a sleazy bigot.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 9:18 am | #

        The “inspirational” story would be Robin realizing what a monster it would be to side against Carla and/or with Toedad so she does the honorable thing and stands against them–politics be damned. Because Robin is supposed to be a good person after all.

        The only way to end that story, though, would be for Robin to lose the election and end up a disaffected Poly-Sci teacher.

        • Lumpy Frogsnuggler
          Lumpy Frogsnuggler
          June 10, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

          Have we seen any evidence that this version of Robin is a good person?
          The walkyverse version of her had people who could call her on her selfish bullshit,
          but this Robin is surrounded by yes-men and underlings.
          And the very fact that she’s running on a “family values” platform tells me that she’s morally compromised

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        June 10, 2016 at 7:51 pm | #

        Maybe after dumping her to her face?

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      June 10, 2016 at 6:24 pm | #

      I’ve heard claims that Willis has jossed that, but I ain’t seen any links.

  75. nothri
    nothri
    June 10, 2016 at 7:15 am | #

    And suddenly Joe pops up.

    “You know, Mrs. Desanto, if you want to dispell these rumors about your breasts I personally would be happy to serve as an independent investigator…”

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 10, 2016 at 9:23 am | #

      He totally would do that.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        June 10, 2016 at 10:07 am | #

        Another DeSanto-Rosenthal video release?

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          June 10, 2016 at 10:46 am | #

          Ahh yes, the old “my penis has been inside your sister” approach

  76. prime_pm
    prime_pm
    June 10, 2016 at 8:38 am | #

    This is pretty much why I don’t use Twitter.

  77. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    June 10, 2016 at 8:38 am | #

    Make District 9 great again? What’s she going to do, pull a George Lucas re-shoot and re-release?

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 9:19 am | #

      I assume she wants to refilm it in America. You know, removing all of the subtext. Maybe make the aliens sexier.

      • Guairdean Beatha
        Guairdean Beatha
        June 10, 2016 at 3:42 pm | #

        It’ll be a comedy, the aliens will all be played by Jim Carrey.

        • Palamdrone
          Palamdrone
          June 10, 2016 at 7:54 pm | #

          Too high brow. Maybe all the aliens can be Adam Sandler.

          • Charles Phipps
            Charles Phipps
            June 10, 2016 at 8:45 pm | #

            Robin will star in it and punch a lot of aliens at super-speed.

          • Dean
            Dean
            June 10, 2016 at 9:22 pm | #

            Kevin James!

  78. Darchias
    Darchias
    June 10, 2016 at 9:49 am | #

    The tiny hands thing isn’t as insulting to women, since it isn’t implying she has a tiny penis. Still, never pass up a good opportunity for Trump jokes.

  79. Richard
    Richard
    June 10, 2016 at 10:25 am | #

    She should have her own fanfare at all times since she’s such a Trump-ette.

  80. Arianod
    Arianod
    June 10, 2016 at 10:51 am | #

    Still a better President than Donald Trump.

  81. C
    C
    June 10, 2016 at 11:32 am | #

    I just clapped out loud. 🙌🏻

  82. QWERTY
    QWERTY
    June 10, 2016 at 11:37 am | #

    Am I the only one who thinks the chick Desanto’s talking with looks looks like Dina.

    • Zaidyer
      Zaidyer
      June 10, 2016 at 12:00 pm | #

      Nah, she’s clearly Mary in a wig.

      (Aspiring cartoonists take note: this is what happens when you use up all your faces.)

      Still holding out hope for her being Mary’s sister (or at least appears with her together in the same room), so when they inevitably visit Roz she does a long double-take and nopes out of there so hard she wills herself into another plane of existence.

  83. smooti
    smooti
    June 10, 2016 at 12:05 pm | #

    So, if #tinyhands in this universe is about a local politician rather than Donald Trump, does that mean Donald doesn’t exist in the DOA universe? Because I want to go live there now if that’s true.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 10, 2016 at 5:14 pm | #

      I imagine in an alternate universe that Galasso fills the role.

  84. QD
    QD
    June 10, 2016 at 1:28 pm | #

    Oof, Trump even worms his way into my webcomics.

  85. SonicBlueRanger
    SonicBlueRanger
    June 10, 2016 at 1:56 pm | #

    Can this just be the whole storyline? I can’t accept anything other than Robin’s failing campaign.

  86. So Yeah
    So Yeah
    June 10, 2016 at 2:19 pm | #

    Is Hillary in this universe too? Like as a guy but still terrible with national security and relating to young people?

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      June 10, 2016 at 4:37 pm | #

      if only there were some sort of dumbing of age strip that was about a politician failing to connect on social media

      • So Yeah
        So Yeah
        June 10, 2016 at 7:02 pm | #

        Lol

  87. wanderso
    wanderso
    June 10, 2016 at 2:50 pm | #

    Here’s what’s ominous. Judging by the timing, this is probably about the primary.

    Robin might be up against someone worse.

  88. Tenn
    Tenn
    June 10, 2016 at 3:17 pm | #

    I have a feeling this is referencing something, but I’m not sure what.

    Srsly though, I imagine this was written when the thought of Trump even getting close to becoming the Republican candidate seemed laughable.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      June 10, 2016 at 6:29 pm | #

      Oh shit; Robin slimes up, gets rekt and replaced with someone who does target Carla.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        June 10, 2016 at 7:08 pm | #

        I doubt it since the campaign will last decades at the current rate of time.

  89. goyeastyoungman
    goyeastyoungman
    June 10, 2016 at 3:17 pm | #

    New commenter, not new reader.
    Don’t eat me!

    Dare I say, this strip has gotten… Out of hand?

  90. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    June 10, 2016 at 7:09 pm | #

    I don’t think Frieda is Mary’s sister. The fact I don’t hate her and think she’s adorable helps.

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      June 10, 2016 at 11:22 pm | #

      She looks kind of like Ethan… which is to say that when an artist draws hundreds of different characters there’s going to be similarities between random unrelated people.

  91. C.
    C.
    June 10, 2016 at 9:10 pm | #

    I’m very disappointed that #DesantoHugeHonkers doesn’t bring up anything on real-world Twitter.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      June 10, 2016 at 11:01 pm | #

      Especially in light of what Willis did with Jocelyne’s website address — JocelyneJBrown.com.

  92. Bill M.
    Bill M.
    June 11, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    Pshaw… combat it with alliteration. #DesantoDoubleDs, plus she’d totes have real world tape measures to prove it.

  93. BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
    June 11, 2016 at 6:36 am | #

    #Agesagotherewereconscientiousshepherdswhosesheepwerewelltendedandcarefullyprotectedagainstattackbytheirrapaciousenemies.Twelvehundredthousandyearsagothereappearedbeforethesefirstearthmenatnightaspaceshippoweredbysevenstoneandiridiumelectricmotors.Ithadoriginallybeenlaunchedonitslongtripintostellarspaceinthesearchforneighboringstarsthatmighthaveplanetsrevolvingaboutthemthatwereinhabitableandonwhichplanetsanewraceofintelligenthumanitymightpropagateitselfandrejoiceforlifewithoutfearofattackbyotherintelligentbeingsfrominterstellarspace.

  94. Onion
    Onion
    June 11, 2016 at 3:29 pm | #

    I’m not sure this is what politics is supposed to be like.

  95. wynne
    wynne
    June 11, 2016 at 5:54 pm | #

    Somehow Willis got even luckier with the timing on this one than he probably thought he’d get when he drew it.

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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#relatable
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The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
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hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
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