Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Ozzie the Vampire
Eric Lide
Ozzie and her best friend Kimmy are your average everyday normal art students – except one is an immortal vampire with superpowers and the other possesses a magic talking grimoire. Also they have to save their town from a demonic invasion.
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Novae
KaiJu
A historical romance with a touch magic and a dash of astronomy. It chronicles the romantic adventures of Sulvain, a sweet tempered necromancer and Raziol, a passionate 17th century astronomer.
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG.
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Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Three Panel Soul
Matt Boyd, Ian McConville
It's a pretty rigid format but we keep the content loose, you know?
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Angel's Orchard
Harry Bogosian
After the events in Demon's Mirror, Gerda has accepted her role as a Demon Hunter, and Cezar has traveled back to the Demon City. Demons have existed alongside humans for millennia, so things begin to return to normal. But an impossibly powerful Relic has been taken by one of the Demon Masters, and a silent war enters its final stages.
Monster's Garden
Ash G.
Champion pit fighter Kilo Monster was content to spend the rest of his days tending to his quiet garden alone... until he met a curious robot girl and her human family.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Peritale
Mari Costa
A fairy godmother with no magic tries her best to successfully fulfill a Fairytale and win the respect of her peers.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
The Messenger
indui
In a ruin-abound town cursed with bad luck, Kai and Kalla--a young boy and a fledgling dragonbird spirit--take on a quest in hopes the reward will solve all of their problems.
Heroes of Thantopolis
Izzy Strontium Hall
A living boy fights to save the City of the Dead.
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
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Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
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Empowered
Adam Warren
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The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Sleepless Domain
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In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
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Don’t worry I talked amazi-girl into an internship, I also took the liberty of designing her costume she’ll be known as Ginger snap, the outfit’s sort of a cross between the red hood (batman: under the red hood, death of the family) and Casey jones (tmnt 2000’s cartoon) complete with a mask shaped like a gingersnap and panted to match a gingers natural hair color.
Wracked with frustration, Billie rips out her own femurs. Striking them together produces a spark, which lands on Billie’s old cheerleading outfit, which erupts into flame.
As the flames slowly spread across the room, Billie finds herself oddly at peace. The room – trashed, splattered with blood, and mostly on fire – now matches her shattered heart. She lies down on the burning bed, and closes her eyes.
Is there another sport Ruth can focus on? I know hockey is big with our Canadian friends, but can she try soccer? Maybe fishing-does Canada have a version of Bill Dance? How about Golf-that’s relaxing-ish? Do they still show professional Putt-Putt on TV?
(The Jays have won the World Series (and the AL championship) twice (would likely have been a third, but that season ended with a strike), and their division 6 times since they were founded 39 years ago, which puts them well ahead of the Leafs in that time period.)
we have a national rugby team lacrosse is our actual national sport were just famous for being hockey players um baseball is big in eastern canada i think?
Okay, yes, obviously that was not healthy. But apart from the suicidal ideaton and the messed-up way it started and the blackmail and how they had to hide it from everyone, they had managed to cobble together a good relationship. They were honest with and supportive of each other, and they each developed a lot of respect for the other.
Well, also apart from enabling each other’s alcoholism, though that could be part of the suicide pact, I suppose.
There are things I like about the relationship.
If I was one of their doctors though, I’d definitely push for at least some separation. There are some huge red flags, especially going with only what the doctors (& RM) likely know.
Part of me is wondering if being separated from Billie is something Ruth really needs, because Billie was enabling some of Ruth’s self-destructive habits.
Like, it wasn’t Billie who got any help for Ruth. She finds out that Ruth is lying in bed completely unresponsive and her first action is to… lock themselves in her room and hold hands.
Billie is out of her depth. It isn’t remotely her fault, but I think she’s too caught up in rescuing Ruth from herself.
I can’t tell if this mood swing is the result of Billie running out of mad after she got done yelling at Carla, or if she already has new regrets from the last bit of that conversation that we missed.
I think she feels like a failure. Like, this was something I was worried about for awhile with the codependence, but Billie put all her self-esteem in being able to single-handedly save Ruth.
And so to her, she’s “failed” in that task. Ruth asked her to protect the secret, but she couldn’t and now Chloe knows. She tried to help fix Ruth, but she still ended up hospitalized. And now she’s been “encouraged” to stay away and been ordered to enter therapy on her own.
None of these things are really failures on her part and her attempt to save Ruth was always a big psychological trap, because love cannot save depressed people from their depression, it can only alleviate some of the damage. But for Billie, she feels cast back into that state in which she entered the relationship.
She viewed herself as poison and thought, well, maybe I won’t scar Ruth. And to her mind, this is her scarring Ruth, adding to her plate, failing to do any good or avoid any harm.
Even though it’s not true, it’s what her self-hate is saying.
I guess I was thrown off because it seemed like she instantly went from mad to sad between strips.
After a second look, she’s still visibly stomping mad in the first panel, and her body language is subtly getting less angry with each panel. Damn that’s impressive.
It’s mad to hide the shaking self-hatred and depressive spiral.
Or hell, even the type of mad I used to get, where everything that should have made me angry made me angry for like a good 5 minutes and then would make me incredibly depressed, sad, and self-abusive.
This totally happens. She’s probably emotionally exhausted, and has been using her anger (which comes naturally to Billie) to keep her going. When she lets go of it, she crashes hard.
Hey this year my birthday’s on a Sunday (this one in fact). I don’t even get a dumbing of age strip.
Also hi…first comment after bingeing… *Waves shyly*
I’m still holding out hope for a Carla pokes her head in later and checks in on her and talks stuff out and future planning stuff, but that might be in vain.
Sorry Billie, that place doesn’t exist. I know. I looked for it for years. Then I studied chaos theory and realized that even trying to have no effect, has an effect. And doing all the right things can still result in the worst outcome.
(Like I said earlier, I identify too closely with some parts of some characters.)
Who was it that predicted that Carla is going to pop in tomorrow morning, see Billie face down on the pillow with the uneaten cookies next to her and exclaim “oh come on”? Cause I feel they may end up being eerily prescient.
Oh well, so much for the drunken Lesbian suicide pact. They would have just wound up arguing about who was going to go first, have another drink or two and never get around to it.
On my phone (Droid Charge) the space to the right of the icons for ‘next page’ ‘previous page’ ‘comment count’ etc… is blank. press it and the alt text screen pops up.
Panel 1: Angry at the world, pushing everyone away, looking to go somewhere dark and self-destruct. Ayup, it’s really been ignored just how bad Billie is as well. She’s got a lot of the same depression and self-destruction as Ruth, hell, maybe even more of the self-destruction than Ruth. I’m so so happy she’s getting therapy.
Panel 2: Welp, that’s not suicidal sounding at all. Nosireebillybob. You agree, right, Walky?
Oh, I’m sorry, you seem to be stuck in the same internal screaming Billie was doing earlier this weekend. What with how utterly terrifying her statement is given the context of her afternoon.
Seriously though, Walky’s eyes in that panel are just fear personified and for good reason. That statement of hers is all the red flags of someone still in the midst of hoping to throw enough of her life away to not impact anyone when she goes and without the self-awareness of what she’s doing.
Panel 3: Oh, good, she does at least recognize how she’s sounding at least and clarifies. That is actually really really good.
Panel 4: Though, I feel so bad for Walky here. He’s going to believe that and maybe she won’t actually try to hurt herself, but she should definitely not be left alone. Not tonight. Not in this room. Not believing that she can’t return to her own bed if the feelings get too intense.
Panel 5: And I worry that she’s trying to intentionally trying to let her depression be overshadowed by Ruth’s depression. Like her face here is just utterly miserable. Maybe it’s my own projection, but I can just see her running in her head all the little statements that bite at her self-esteem, the casual self-hatred of deep depression. And not willing to show the vulnerability of it to anyone else.
Cause she’s needed just as much help for a long time. At the very least, hopefully the therapist she’s required to meet with can help her at lest acknowledge some of the stuff going on and allow her to define her self-esteem not by who she’s dating or whether or not she “saves” them and stops believing she’s inherently poison.
Panel 6: Cause this part, believing that this is the only place she can’t destroy, because in her mind, she blames herself for “destroying Ruth”, even though Ruth is actually in a relatively good place, even though things aren’t actually as collapsed as her fear is telling her they are. Even though she did a lot of things right today and came from a good and caring place.
Someone yesterday, and I apologize but I forgot who, mentioned that Billie might associate therapy with badness not just because of Sal but because she might have been required to see someone after her car crash and so in her mind being given therapy is basically a “you just fucked up, prepare to lose something you love” moment.
And I think there’s some validity to that. She looks glumly at the knowledge that her and Ruth are getting actual competent medical help, because in her mind, it just means she fucked everything up again.
And this is probably also why she’s convinced Ruth is getting fired even though she tried to be optimistic about it while they were cuddling. Because in her mind, she fucked up, crashed her car while drunk and lost Alice and cheerleading, the loves of her life back then. And every attempt to hold onto them afterwards went up like smoke.
So to her, she’s been “chastised” and now she will lose Ruth and her “one chance for happiness*” (nngh, you have good parts in your relationship if you could just escape the shadow of abuse the relationship started with and both of your needs to turn the relationship into a whole codependent “we save each other or we wreck each other” thing).
*Or rather for Billie, the one person who is also poison so she won’t burn and be destroyed when she touches her.
She’s in such a dangerous headspace and I desperately want Walky or Carla or Becky to check in with her later and see how she’s doing. Hell, even a Chloe in a pinch. But someone.
Because she’s not doing well at all. And she might not be able to keep up her own facade for much longer.
She’s afraid of hurting people; she’s reached that dangerous point some depressives have where she’s convinced that she is inherently toxic and dangerous and that simply being around other people will harm them in some way. She might not intend to hurt herself but she may do so anyway if she gets into a deep enough pit.
Yup, on both of these. I absolutely think she believes that Ruth’s room is the only place she can’t do damage so that must mean the same thing as being safe (even though it’s gonna be a triggering mess).
And I think she’s terrified of hurting people. That conversation with Alice broke her and she’s been convinced for a good long while now that she is inherently poisonous and I can relate very strongly to that, because I’ve definitely been there. Viewing myself as inherently toxic simply because of who I am and being scared of hurting more people by being present in their life.
Which is also why I’m really worried for her to be alone right now, because that headspace wasn’t healthy and lead to several suicide attempts, because as you note, it’s really easy to go from “I’m toxic and hurt people” to “so everyone will be better off when I’m gone” and to make hurting oneself a casual thing.
Billie needs someone to basically intervene and support so she can hold on until therapy and have an attitude where she can actually take advantage of what therapy has to offer.
Which probably also isn’t helped by Carla calling it “playing house with a death wish”. Because that just lets her emphasize more in her head the idea that she was worthless and/or harmful. Which in her current state means, to her, that her toxicity can destroy even people who are already broken and thus she’s not safe for any human contact.
Thank you as always for articulating everything that’s going on in this comic so very well. Because yes, agreed, this is exactly what is happening and why I am so worried for Billie, but it’s hard to get through the overwhelming dismay to dissect “Why precisely is this so worrisome”.
That’s just the smell of a Leafs fan. The hockey smell is very faint on them since they don’t spend much time at games. I’m surprised she could pick it up.
….and Billie has failed yet another person. And even IF Ruth’s come out of this all right it will be thanks to Carla, not her. Billie only made everything worse. Everyone would be better off without her….
Nope! The strip that introduces the Residence Manager is titled “Chloe”, which appears nowhere in the comic. The strip “Over” contains only the spoken line “Oh Ruth.”. And that’s just the first two examples I could find in this storyline.
Frankly, as much as Billie wouldn’t thank him for it, Walky needs to drag her out of there and force her to be around other people. You don’t have to cause yourself physical damage to self-harm sometimes and I think that self-harm is Billie’s objective right now: to be on her own so no-one can contradict herself as she condemns herself as a monster.
being around people can be the opposite of a good thing sometimes (shocking i know) i think billie needs to be given space and time and a break and needs to know that when shes ready her friends will be there
Problem is she’s trying to find comfort by isolating herself in a mental torture chamber. Everything in that room will remind her she failed to solve Ruth’s problems (which she wasn’t capable of in the first place).
yeah i know, its a complicated situation tbh but i think billie should be given some space being around ppl who are cheerful when you feel like shit can be worse than anything
I’m inclined to agree. A lot of shitty, miserable things have happened, and she’s probably gonna need at least some time to cry and feel shitty and miserable about it. She’s going to feel like that either way, so some time space to let it out may do her good. Especially given her extremely low sense of self-worth right now, being pressured to engage with others just now could end up making things worse. She’ll start to feel bad about the sympathy and attention because she doesn’t believe she deserves it, or instead of empathy from her friends, she’ll see her misery infecting others because she’s poison.
Somebody should definitely check in on her periodically, and not let her wallow in it too long, but forcing her to be around other people all the time would also be detrimental
im at that point rn, my best friend commited suicide sometime in the past 4 days and i just found out and im in shambles i have to work friday and saturday and then im going back to school for my grade 12 and will be living w/ an older friend for free but were all just in this state of “what do we do” idk how to move on idk how to be ok idk what to do i just want to join her
i just want her back yknow like i loved her. so much. and shes just gone and idk who i am anymore and it feels like the entire planets stopped spinning but its still going ppl are still moving the winds still blowing my ipods still using energy im still breathing but none of these things are happening at the same time and its not fair i want her back so much its not fair i know why she did it and i hate the ppl who hurt her and im never going to forgive them for taking her like that
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but I have lost close friends myself, and what I found is that the only way to get past the grief and the pain is to go through it. You can’t avoid it forever and there’s no real trick to it when there’s so much, but you can get through it. Like any arduous journey, you don’t have to do it all at once, and you don’t have do it alone. It can feel like this huge impossible thing at times, and at others it may feel like nothing at all (which can be scary as well), but if you take it one step at a time, and rest when you need to, you can get there, eventually it will be behind you.
I hope at least some of that is actually helpful, and not just as sappy as it sounds in my head, but you can do it. It’ll be hard, and there may even be times when you don’t want to feel better, like being happy again would be some kind of betrayal, but it isn’t. You’re allowed to take a break from your grief, even if there’s more of it for later.
I’d say that’s a bad idea in general. Sure, there are times where you basically have no choice but to intervene against the other person’s wishes. But it should always be a last resort.
I’ve had people who tried to force me into things, and, as you would guess from a layperson without psychological knowledge, it didn’t work, and only made things worse. I became scared of them and avoided them entirely.
Even if it’s something you read that will help, there’s a reason that psychologist try to get you where you are willing to go along, rather than just force the issue on you. If you aren’t on board for the ride, they become one of the people making life worse for you.
Better if you don’t – her answer would suck just as she suck.
…
Maaaaan, gallows humor is the only way for me to plow throw this strip. I’m with Becky about Billie – please, please, please don’t hurt anymore, but I have no idea how to make it so.
If anyone should be an RA it should be Sarah. She genuinely cares about people and tries to protect and support them. She doesn’t hesitate to do what’s right, even if it means everyone hates her, and she has no issues with depression or chemical dependency.
Sarah wishes she wouldn’t get involved in anyone’s problems (though she can’t resist). She’d have to be more honest with herself and others that she cares about them deeply.
Rachel seems very on point! I’d vote for her.
For some reason, I think that Becky will be the one to get Billie to see the light of reason and help her out of her current funk.
I’m not saying she’ll magically cure Billie, or something of the like, just that she’ll be the only one who’ll understand what Billie is going through and actually be able to help.
I’m probably wrong on that front. But it would be nice.
That whole “magical queer who magically makes everything better trope” might be a bit passé, but no one told Becky that. Becky will MAGIC THE SHIT out of Billie’s depression.
I actually think you might be right. Because as worthless as Billie feels, BECKY truly, genuinely thinks that she is one of the coolest things ever, and she can personally attest to how Billie – cool lady who likes ladies, gives newly outed gays FREE haircut money, lends her room for a gal in need and friggin’ tries to SAVE PEOPLE FROM SUICIDE (or, as Becky knows it, the SCARIEST SHIT EVER!!!!) – does TONS OF GOOD!!!
Yeah, I think Becky can be an unexpected comfort at some time when Billie stops wanting to push everyone away. Because in Becky’s eyes, she’s awesome and helped her out of a lot of bad jams without even trying that hard. So it can be a reminder that even when she viewed herself as damaging to everyone but Ruth, she still managed to help someone not named Ruth.
But that will probably only be after this current depressive state washes over her a bit and she’s in a better state to hear that respect without immediately assuming it’s trash (because in her mind, she’s trash, so someone else’s praise must also be trash, because how could anyone think she’s worthwhile or helpful).
I’m not sure if she’ll succeed, or how long it will take, but Becky is definitely the person I could most see going in to check on Billie.
Because of her mother, this is an issue that is very close to home. She already feels like she should have noticed something was wrong. We saw how she reacted to Billie at the health centre.
Billie told Walky to pass the message about her bed along to Becky. Becky now sees that as a red flag, and that’s before Walky comes to her still visibly freaked out from this conversation. If he tells her about what Billie was saying, I could definitely see her trying to go in and check up on Billie.
I think she’ll get Billie to see that she’s not a crappy person and use the whole “you gave me your room” as a springboard to make her see that there’s good in her. I think once Billie begins to see that she can and is a better person than she gives herself credit for, she’ll be able to move towards recovery/healthier lifestyle, and I think someone like Becky, a complete third party to the group who’s seen some shit, is the perfect person to help her. The same way I think Carla is The best for Ruth, since I maintain Carla is the official female bullshit caller in the dorm (the male one being Mike) and can point out Ruth’s behavior immediately.
I just hope for the best for Billie. She’s easily one of my fave characters.
So, with Grav Roulette giving me so many repeats in lieu of my Walky grav…
…. why IS that, anyway? What gives, Grav Roulette? I’d suspect Willis of maliciously reprogramming you to deny me a Walky, but he’s got infants and I think I rank below sleep in his priorities.
…. anyhow, with so many repeats making it hard to comment on Grav Roulette’s choices for me, I’m going starting a new project, called SPOT THE BOOK TITLE!
For half this book we’ve been having people spot quotes and memes that would make for great book titles, so over the past few days I have archive-dived through this book’s… archive? Damn you, Repetition! … and parsed out several quotes and references that are either appropriate for a book title, or awesome and/or funny in their own right. Obviously some people might disagree with what I decided to include or not include, and I’ll be the first to admit that I likely missed something.
…. while perusing old comment threads. I…. might have a problem.
ANYHOO.
I’m going to post the list as a reply (or perhaps several replies, given its length) to this post. I’d like people to comment on their favorites and also ones they don’t think would make good book titles. Maybe argue about it some. I’ll use the responses to pare the list down to maybe a half dozen. Then we’ll vote, and Willis will take the result of that vote and use it for trash bin stuffing because he’s no doubt already got a title chosen, so this is mostly an opportunity to discuss and debate our favorite lines from the past year or so.
9/8/15: “A critical system update has doubled the known variables.”
9/26/15: “If I’m naked, maybe this is just a nightmare.”
9/30/15: “You didn’t do the math, didja?”
10/30/15: “How come everythin’ you say makes me feel like Ah’m bein’ trolled?”
10/9/15: “Everythin’s lookin’ pretty up…”
10/15/15 (alt text): “tfw your best friend’s dad reveals himself to be a scary jackass”
10/16/15 (and others): “I will die for you.”
10/20/15: “No, I’M crazy. HE’S just an incredible asshole.”
10/25/15: “Nothing more can hurt me.”
10/31/15: “Does 911 come in through the roof?”
11/1/15: “Why does it always have to be DADS?”
11/6/15: “Every time home shows up here, I like home a little less.”
11/11/15: “Republican National Convention gay.”
11/25/15: “Everything’s really broken, isn’t it?”
11/27/15: “EHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
11/28/15: “Don’t get guns pointed at you.” (Included because of alt text.)
12/4/15: “I for one do not welcome our new profane Joyce overlord.”
12/5/15: “Premature employment of self-referential humor”
12/8/15: “I don’t want to be that oblivious guy anymore.”
12/13/15: “Could you not?”
12/14/15: “HOPPABLE FOORRCE!”
12/20/15: “A situation is what it is.”
12/21/15: “People are complicated.”
12/23/15: “Gayganomics”
12/25/15: “I’m too poor to have principles.”
12/27/15: “If they’re depressed, then it’s all kind of a crapshoot.”
12/28/15: “Something stupidly sappy. Fill in your own blanks.”
1/4/16: “Inadvertently playing a married couple will not be worth extra credit”
1/8/16: “Stop trying to change me.” “I’ve changed enough.”
1/10/16: “I’m not gonna be anybody’s teachable moment.”
1/11/16 (first of many): “I’m fine.”
1/15/16: “The burden of bringer-of-bad-news”
1/17/16: “Sorry about all those other adults, I promise I’m mostly okay.”
1/19/16: “I will advance your concerns to the ‘don’t care’ committee for review.”
1/20/16: “The calm before the mother-fucking storm”
1/25/16: Internal Screaming
1/26/16: “Learn how to college, yo.”
1/30/16: “I’m going to nod and smile a lot, until I find enough humility.”
2/5/16: “I just really like spite.”
2/8/16: “It’s a good thing our relationship is based in anger, because there’s always more fucking kindling.”
2/8/16: “What, I can’t lie OR keep secrets? This is bullshit!”
2/9/16: “I am DEFTLY handling this.”
2/17/16: “I wonder, if given an ample quantity of white hot rage, I can will myself 19 years into the past and stab somebody through the womb.”
2/18/16: “Understand this shit doesn’t happen in Canada.”
2/25/16: “Don’t you know how to interact with people like a normal human being?”
2/27/16: “Here I am bongoing about being tragedy-adjacent.”
2/29/16: “Seduced by unbelievers and lesbians”
3/5/16: “Noticin’ things sucks.”
3/9/16: “The machinations of my revenge will be cold, swift, and absolutely ridiculous.”
3/22/16: “The story of how Carla Rutten scored free bonus cookies!”
3/23/16: “Something I shouldn’t’ve blurted out loud ‘cuz it might be misconstrued as concern”
3/24/16: “I’ve wasted so much of this semester NOT having called my room ‘the murder cave’.”
3/24/16: “If I die in here, tell everyone that I hate them and I was always way better than them.”
3/25/16: “What the hell’s the point in having power if you can’t abuse it?”
3/28/16: “God dammit, this is EXACTLY why I avoid being a good person.”
4/4/16: “I want to throw something but also I still have concern for other people’s property!”
4/6/16: “I SWEAR I WILL PUNCH EVERYONE IN THIS ENTIRE CITY”
4/8/16: “Poopfacelittlesistersayswhat”
4/13/16: “I wanna engrave a marital scripture on a human skull.”
4/16/16: Giant-Ass Slab o’ Problems
4/20/16: “Sixteen ‘Answers in Genesis’ links and a dozen ‘poo’ emojis.”
4/21/16: “Hey guess who’s also fine being alone”
4/22/16: “Deeeeeeeeessssperadooooooo-”
4/26/16: “We should first take a moment to reflect on how you’ve said you value my total honesty.”
4/28/16: “The only person turned against you is you.”
4/30/16: “I’ve GOT to stop getting dumped on these damned steps.”
5/2/16: “This whole charade is exhausting.”
5/5/16 (and elsewhere): score to 1812 overture
5/6/16: “Persona Non Grata”
5/7/16: “Both a long time coming and incredibly out of nowhere at the same time.”
5/8/16: “Will you friggin’ quit being perfect?”
5/9/16: “I hate your stupid psychological assessments of me.” — Sarah, to the comments section
5/14/16: “You should always hear both sides to a story before judging”
5/15/16: “oops we’re looping back into unhealthy”
5/16/16: “OH GOD WE WOULD BE THE FUCKING WORST.”
5/21/16: “Who knew that drawing ding-dongs was a gateway crime to GRAND LARCENY?”
5/22/16: “On my first day I’ll have to find the biggest lady there and scoop out her eyeballs with a rusty spoon.”
5/23/16: “Remember earlier when I said to hide your anger? Well forget that for the next ten seconds.”
5/26/16: “I’M NOT GOING TO PRISON OVER A GRANOLA BAR.”
5/29/16: “Like some BOX is gonna protect me from THAT.”
5/31/16: “The one thing that angers you more than anything else in this world is that I EXIST.”
6/11/16: “Why do I even TRY to have conversations with you?”
6/15/16: “This is the most wrong thing I have ever seen.”
6/16/16: “Do whatever the hell you want, you mother-fucking goddess”
6/23/16: “Please don’t be naked or murdery!”
6/24/16: “I’m fine.”
7/7/16: “I feel like my brainstorming isn’t being rewarded.”
7/9/16: “Maybe I just don’t want to get in the middle of an argument over something so stupid.”
7/10/16: “Let’s just say that if I didn’t know her in high school, I wouldn’t know what the term ‘guro’ means.”
7/11/16: “I’m usually more on the ball about this.”
7/14/16: “The amount of energy I’ve invested in my rage says I don’t see a distinction.”
7/16/16: “Right now, I don’t want to deal with anything.”
7/17/16: “Call me crazy, but I’m beginning to think you’re NOT ACTUALLY OKAY.”
7/21/16: “OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS MANAGING THE COURTSHIP OF TWO CUTE QUEER LADIES NOT A GODDAMNED DEATH CULT”
7/22/16: “Your stupid secret love is DUMB and NOBODY CARES!”
7/25/16: “Why the heck am I runnin’ TOWARDS the feels?”
8/7/16: “SELF-DEPRECATION IS HOW WE’RE HERE”
8/10/16: “Don’t WORRY, I’m NOT here to drag your daughter back with me to Hell.”
8/11/16: “Give me a heads up when you’re ready to consider some friggin’ NUANCE.”
I have felt like this way too many times, and I can relate to this strip well, except instead of telling people about my problems, I’d just say “I’m fine” and then spiral even more.
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there we go, someone’s in bedBOOK END
=C
the bed smells like nookie and beers
And Timbits.
and Maple
And Molson Beer.
and back bacon
and zambonies
and zed
and hoosers
and tim hortons
Yes, it IS about time Ruth changed her sheets.
You sir, win one (1) Internet (Offer not available where prohibited by law. Terms and conditions apply).
I guess you could call it a… bookend?
Shelf this plotline for now.
The paper-thin thread of Fate.
Oooo, paper cut.
I think everything’s gonna work out juuust fine
Smells like hockey, tears, and Timmies
That’s the Leafs poster you’re smelling, Billie.
Beat me to it.
Ewwwww, Hasn’t been fresh since 1967.
I know the feeling of wanting to hide away from everyone.
more than wanting to socialize with people.
Billie.
Billie no.
BILLIE STAHP I DON’T WANT TO RIDE THIS FEELS TRAIN
can i have your ticket?
choo choo
Next station Depression.
God dammit my eyes are spawning tickets please take them
Hello is it Depression your looking for
nah i already have plently of it leftover from last time.
Nice man want some VAPE to go with that
nah i dont even know what that is honestly
vape is e-cigarettes
it’s like, cigarette fumes without the cigarettes, or something
Don’t worry I talked amazi-girl into an internship, I also took the liberty of designing her costume she’ll be known as Ginger snap, the outfit’s sort of a cross between the red hood (batman: under the red hood, death of the family) and Casey jones (tmnt 2000’s cartoon) complete with a mask shaped like a gingersnap and panted to match a gingers natural hair color.
for a sec i thought willis messed up at the bottom of the first panel lol
haha, “Whatcha have to say to ULTRA CAR, fangirl?!?!”
Tomorrow:
Billie rolls over and damages her glasses.
She punches the wall in frustration, and her fist goes right through.
…tearing the Leafs poster down over her head. When she tried to remove the obstruction she slips out of the bed and…
… crushes the bag of cookies.
She kicks the bag in frustration, knocking over a framed photo of Ruth with her parents.
Wracked with frustration, Billie rips out her own femurs. Striking them together produces a spark, which lands on Billie’s old cheerleading outfit, which erupts into flame.
As the flames slowly spread across the room, Billie finds herself oddly at peace. The room – trashed, splattered with blood, and mostly on fire – now matches her shattered heart. She lies down on the burning bed, and closes her eyes.
And then, in a quiet voice, whispers “This is fine”
Hockey and tears aren’t the only things impregnated in that pillow. There’s also booze.
I figure hockey must smell a bit like booze. Booze and maple.
Canadian beer, that ice-rink tang of metal and ice, and sometimes the fans’ blood.
with the occasional WTF
He probably always dreamed of going to the Olympics and win the javelin throw event. But he became a hockey player instead.(dreams crushed)
God the KHL is great
Mm. Invigorating!
Whereas the Life Sciences building smells like soccer and formaldehyde.
Computer Science: Starcraft and hand lotion.
(Source: CS grad student)
I ship Everyone/Happiness.
Happiness? Do you know what comic you are reading?
Umm… it’s Lobo the Duck, right?
I would kill for the return of Amalgam on a monthly basis.
Well, not for just Lobo the Duck, but someone even better, like Spider-boy, Quickfreeze, or Doctor Strangefate(aka: Charles Xavier).
Happiness is the momentary delusion we get just before Willis kicks in the feels.
This isn’t Cyanide and Happiness??
There’s a crack ship if ever I saw one.
Poor person. You are surrounded by the reef named Willis.
I’ve been sailing these seas for over a decade. That ship is always broken on the reef.
…. wait even Mary?
that also implies Blaine
And toedad.
Even Ryan?
Everyone deserves happiness, even Mary, Blaine, Ross, and Ryan.
I think the problem is that those people won’t be happy unless they’ve made someone else unhappy.
Here’s some free tickets for them on a new cruise liner built from some of the salvaged remains of the Titanic. Let’s see what happens
Toedad would be against even the thought of that ship.
I Think everyone needs to a long hard VAPE to make this less depressing
I’m not sure if you’re socially unaware, or a marketer.
probably a mix of both
#VAPEisRAPE
D=
D: D:D:D:D:
Someone needs to convince Ruth to become a Blue Jays fan instead of a Leafs fan, then all her problems will go away.
Bruins. We have a giant!
Is there another sport Ruth can focus on? I know hockey is big with our Canadian friends, but can she try soccer? Maybe fishing-does Canada have a version of Bill Dance? How about Golf-that’s relaxing-ish? Do they still show professional Putt-Putt on TV?
Toronto has a lacrosse team (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toronto_Rock) and I think a soccer one as well.
Somebody should give her a Canadiens jersey, though. Maurice Richard’s, for preference.
tim was already suggesting Baseball, so…
(The Jays have won the World Series (and the AL championship) twice (would likely have been a third, but that season ended with a strike), and their division 6 times since they were founded 39 years ago, which puts them well ahead of the Leafs in that time period.)
we have a national rugby team lacrosse is our actual national sport were just famous for being hockey players um baseball is big in eastern canada i think?
Alt-text: That’s because she’s a Leaf’s fa-…
… wait, this is one of those times where I make the same joke that 50 other commentators make, isn’t it? Goddammit.
I think the poster needs a tag by this point.
That’s fine, it fits your gravvy for today.
Aw, Billie.
Their relationship was really a mess, wasn’t it.
Their relationship was actually getting to a good place before the blackmail started, in my opinion. It’s just that the two of them are a mess.
I mean, even without the blackmail it was still a suicide pact.
Okay, yes, obviously that was not healthy. But apart from the suicidal ideaton and the messed-up way it started and the blackmail and how they had to hide it from everyone, they had managed to cobble together a good relationship. They were honest with and supportive of each other, and they each developed a lot of respect for the other.
That is a lot of caveats!
But what have the Romans ever done for us?
Brought lesbian sex?
Pretty sure the Greeks invented that, what with the island of Lesbos and all.
This has been today’s totally real history lesson.
Well, also apart from enabling each other’s alcoholism, though that could be part of the suicide pact, I suppose.
There are things I like about the relationship.
If I was one of their doctors though, I’d definitely push for at least some separation. There are some huge red flags, especially going with only what the doctors (& RM) likely know.
Part of me is wondering if being separated from Billie is something Ruth really needs, because Billie was enabling some of Ruth’s self-destructive habits.
Like, it wasn’t Billie who got any help for Ruth. She finds out that Ruth is lying in bed completely unresponsive and her first action is to… lock themselves in her room and hold hands.
Billie is out of her depth. It isn’t remotely her fault, but I think she’s too caught up in rescuing Ruth from herself.
Yeah, they definitely both need to at least be working on their issues, or one of them will end up undoing the other’s progress.
Questing of Age
Jocelyne, Joyce, Dina, Ethan, Sarah, Amber, Becky Dina, Walky, and Dorothy walk into the Louvre.
Joyce: So I suppose we should start with the Mona Lisa.
Dorothy: Would be best.
Walky: We could split up.
Dorothy: What if something happened….again.
Becky: What could possibly happen?
Joycelyne: Kinda tempting fate there.
Dorothy: Whatever, lets just start by checking out the Mona Lisa.
While walking
Walky: I’ve been thinking, how are we supposed to check it. It’s not like they let you touch it.
Amber: Oh shit, that’s a good point.
Joyce: We’ll figure something out.
They arrive at the painting to find the expected shit ton of people around it.
Becky: Oh shit.
Ethan: Well it’s to be expected.
Sarah: We could come back after dark.
Dina: I agree that this may be the best course of action.
Joyce: Hey, I kinda recognize that girl with the brown hair over there…oh shit.
Jocelyne: Okay, this is getting ridiculous.
Becky: Just don’t let her see us.
Joyce: She probably already knows we’re here.
Walky: How would she know!?
Dorothy: Shhh.
Mary turns and looks before turning away again.
Everyone: Phew.
Jocelyne: She’s closer to the painting then we are.
Joyce: She may be following the same clues as us.
Amber: It would make sense.
They attempt to inch closer, apologizing along the way. Finally they reach the painting.
Becky: Hey there’s a piece of paper underneath one of the guardrail pillars.
Jocelyne: Well, that was easy.
Becky picks it up and reads it.
Joyce: What’s it say?
Becky: It’s the Eiffel tower.
Mary appears behind them.
Mary: Hello, my old friends.
FUCK-
I can’t tell if this mood swing is the result of Billie running out of mad after she got done yelling at Carla, or if she already has new regrets from the last bit of that conversation that we missed.
I think she feels like a failure. Like, this was something I was worried about for awhile with the codependence, but Billie put all her self-esteem in being able to single-handedly save Ruth.
And so to her, she’s “failed” in that task. Ruth asked her to protect the secret, but she couldn’t and now Chloe knows. She tried to help fix Ruth, but she still ended up hospitalized. And now she’s been “encouraged” to stay away and been ordered to enter therapy on her own.
None of these things are really failures on her part and her attempt to save Ruth was always a big psychological trap, because love cannot save depressed people from their depression, it can only alleviate some of the damage. But for Billie, she feels cast back into that state in which she entered the relationship.
She viewed herself as poison and thought, well, maybe I won’t scar Ruth. And to her mind, this is her scarring Ruth, adding to her plate, failing to do any good or avoid any harm.
Even though it’s not true, it’s what her self-hate is saying.
I guess I was thrown off because it seemed like she instantly went from mad to sad between strips.
After a second look, she’s still visibly stomping mad in the first panel, and her body language is subtly getting less angry with each panel. Damn that’s impressive.
It’s mad to hide the shaking self-hatred and depressive spiral.
Or hell, even the type of mad I used to get, where everything that should have made me angry made me angry for like a good 5 minutes and then would make me incredibly depressed, sad, and self-abusive.
Someone else said it!
As someone with chronic, at times crippling, depression, I can tell you sad and angry pretty much go hand in hand.
The first panel is a tense upright stake of anger that nothing will ever push over, and by the last she’s just gone flop.
It’s not just impressive, it’s so damn accurate.
This totally happens. She’s probably emotionally exhausted, and has been using her anger (which comes naturally to Billie) to keep her going. When she lets go of it, she crashes hard.
Billie is ‘Head Cheerleader, Alpha Bongo’.
I feel like she’s been using fixing other people’s problems as a coping strategy to avoid her own since before she and Ruth became a thing.
Since before Book 1, I think.
Welp, Happy Birthday to me…*sniff*…damn you Willis.
Happy Birfday!
Happy birthday!
Merry Christmas!
and a happy new year!
Poor sod, almost worse than those who got ToeDad for birthday.
Anyway, happy birthday!
Happy Day… of sadness and tears… it’s your birthday!!
D;
Hey this year my birthday’s on a Sunday (this one in fact). I don’t even get a dumbing of age strip.
Also hi…first comment after bingeing… *Waves shyly*
Dumbing of Age publishes all seven days of every week of the year.
Including the day of The Rapture and at least three months more?
Bahahahaha!!! *hands you an internet*
Sad Billie is sad.
Did anyone else want to hear the rest of the Billie/Carla conversation? there’s no way it just ended there.
I’m still holding out hope for a Carla pokes her head in later and checks in on her and talks stuff out and future planning stuff, but that might be in vain.
[Same]
With orange juice?
Sorry Billie, that place doesn’t exist. I know. I looked for it for years. Then I studied chaos theory and realized that even trying to have no effect, has an effect. And doing all the right things can still result in the worst outcome.
(Like I said earlier, I identify too closely with some parts of some characters.)
But what we really need to know is, are the cookies still there?
Probably.
Who was it that predicted that Carla is going to pop in tomorrow morning, see Billie face down on the pillow with the uneaten cookies next to her and exclaim “oh come on”? Cause I feel they may end up being eerily prescient.
That will be one of the patented Dumbing of Age Funny&Horribly Tragic moment right there.
Oh well, so much for the drunken Lesbian suicide pact. They would have just wound up arguing about who was going to go first, have another drink or two and never get around to it.
She’ll be safe in the murder cave, no depression triggers there.
Yep, nothing there to remind her what was, what happened, or what may happen next.
Definitely. Certainly not things she can use to beat herself up with all night building a whole edifice of abusive thoughts in her head with.
Just a nice easy night’s sleep and good dreams.
At least Ruth got rid of all her booze, and if Billie has any, it’s probably in her own room with the rest of her stuff.
She’s wearing Ruth’s jacket tomorrow, according to her character model for next chapter.
“There isn’t any such place!”
</gollum>
High school?
Well done, Alt text. Well done.
whats the alt text say?
‘that pillow smells like hockey and tears’
Y’know, there’s a way to read these on a smartphone. I forget what it is, but you can do it.
On my phone (Droid Charge) the space to the right of the icons for ‘next page’ ‘previous page’ ‘comment count’ etc… is blank. press it and the alt text screen pops up.
It also works on iPhone (5c)
thanks everyone
Comic Reactions:
No Billie. Don’t be sad. No cry.
Panel 1: Angry at the world, pushing everyone away, looking to go somewhere dark and self-destruct. Ayup, it’s really been ignored just how bad Billie is as well. She’s got a lot of the same depression and self-destruction as Ruth, hell, maybe even more of the self-destruction than Ruth. I’m so so happy she’s getting therapy.
Panel 2: Welp, that’s not suicidal sounding at all. Nosireebillybob. You agree, right, Walky?
Oh, I’m sorry, you seem to be stuck in the same internal screaming Billie was doing earlier this weekend. What with how utterly terrifying her statement is given the context of her afternoon.
Seriously though, Walky’s eyes in that panel are just fear personified and for good reason. That statement of hers is all the red flags of someone still in the midst of hoping to throw enough of her life away to not impact anyone when she goes and without the self-awareness of what she’s doing.
Panel 3: Oh, good, she does at least recognize how she’s sounding at least and clarifies. That is actually really really good.
Panel 4: Though, I feel so bad for Walky here. He’s going to believe that and maybe she won’t actually try to hurt herself, but she should definitely not be left alone. Not tonight. Not in this room. Not believing that she can’t return to her own bed if the feelings get too intense.
Panel 5: And I worry that she’s trying to intentionally trying to let her depression be overshadowed by Ruth’s depression. Like her face here is just utterly miserable. Maybe it’s my own projection, but I can just see her running in her head all the little statements that bite at her self-esteem, the casual self-hatred of deep depression. And not willing to show the vulnerability of it to anyone else.
Cause she’s needed just as much help for a long time. At the very least, hopefully the therapist she’s required to meet with can help her at lest acknowledge some of the stuff going on and allow her to define her self-esteem not by who she’s dating or whether or not she “saves” them and stops believing she’s inherently poison.
Panel 6: Cause this part, believing that this is the only place she can’t destroy, because in her mind, she blames herself for “destroying Ruth”, even though Ruth is actually in a relatively good place, even though things aren’t actually as collapsed as her fear is telling her they are. Even though she did a lot of things right today and came from a good and caring place.
Someone yesterday, and I apologize but I forgot who, mentioned that Billie might associate therapy with badness not just because of Sal but because she might have been required to see someone after her car crash and so in her mind being given therapy is basically a “you just fucked up, prepare to lose something you love” moment.
And I think there’s some validity to that. She looks glumly at the knowledge that her and Ruth are getting actual competent medical help, because in her mind, it just means she fucked everything up again.
And this is probably also why she’s convinced Ruth is getting fired even though she tried to be optimistic about it while they were cuddling. Because in her mind, she fucked up, crashed her car while drunk and lost Alice and cheerleading, the loves of her life back then. And every attempt to hold onto them afterwards went up like smoke.
So to her, she’s been “chastised” and now she will lose Ruth and her “one chance for happiness*” (nngh, you have good parts in your relationship if you could just escape the shadow of abuse the relationship started with and both of your needs to turn the relationship into a whole codependent “we save each other or we wreck each other” thing).
*Or rather for Billie, the one person who is also poison so she won’t burn and be destroyed when she touches her.
She’s in such a dangerous headspace and I desperately want Walky or Carla or Becky to check in with her later and see how she’s doing. Hell, even a Chloe in a pinch. But someone.
Because she’s not doing well at all. And she might not be able to keep up her own facade for much longer.
Perhaps in her mid she messes up being in her room, or Walky’s, but She can’t mess up in Ruth’s, so she feels safe there?
She’s afraid of hurting people; she’s reached that dangerous point some depressives have where she’s convinced that she is inherently toxic and dangerous and that simply being around other people will harm them in some way. She might not intend to hurt herself but she may do so anyway if she gets into a deep enough pit.
Yup, on both of these. I absolutely think she believes that Ruth’s room is the only place she can’t do damage so that must mean the same thing as being safe (even though it’s gonna be a triggering mess).
And I think she’s terrified of hurting people. That conversation with Alice broke her and she’s been convinced for a good long while now that she is inherently poisonous and I can relate very strongly to that, because I’ve definitely been there. Viewing myself as inherently toxic simply because of who I am and being scared of hurting more people by being present in their life.
Which is also why I’m really worried for her to be alone right now, because that headspace wasn’t healthy and lead to several suicide attempts, because as you note, it’s really easy to go from “I’m toxic and hurt people” to “so everyone will be better off when I’m gone” and to make hurting oneself a casual thing.
Billie needs someone to basically intervene and support so she can hold on until therapy and have an attitude where she can actually take advantage of what therapy has to offer.
It probably won’t help that the specifically said they wanted to keep Billie and Ruth separated. I can easily imagine Billie appending ”…because you’re bad for her” to that statement
Which probably also isn’t helped by Carla calling it “playing house with a death wish”. Because that just lets her emphasize more in her head the idea that she was worthless and/or harmful. Which in her current state means, to her, that her toxicity can destroy even people who are already broken and thus she’s not safe for any human contact.
It’s an insidious headspace to be stuck in.
SERIOUSLY BILLIE BILLIE NO. D:
Thank you as always for articulating everything that’s going on in this comic so very well. Because yes, agreed, this is exactly what is happening and why I am so worried for Billie, but it’s hard to get through the overwhelming dismay to dissect “Why precisely is this so worrisome”.
Isn’t that redundant? Oh, wait, that’s baseball back in the late 40’s.
That’s just the smell of a Leafs fan. The hockey smell is very faint on them since they don’t spend much time at games. I’m surprised she could pick it up.
Poor Billie. I do feel sorry for her.
Growing up is hard.
relatable
//hugs billie intensely
….and Billie has failed yet another person. And even IF Ruth’s come out of this all right it will be thanks to Carla, not her. Billie only made everything worse. Everyone would be better off without her….
SOMEONE HUG BILLIE RIGHT NOW!!!!
Carla needs to invent an emergency hug bot that just offers hugs to anyone in emotional crisis.
I’m really glad she takes time to reassure Walky in the third panel. She sadly knows exactly what he is worried about.
Is… is this the very first strip that isn’t titled after one of the words said in it?
Nope! The strip that introduces the Residence Manager is titled “Chloe”, which appears nowhere in the comic. The strip “Over” contains only the spoken line “Oh Ruth.”. And that’s just the first two examples I could find in this storyline.
Also the first strip of the Ding-Dong-bandit-storyline.
Frankly, as much as Billie wouldn’t thank him for it, Walky needs to drag her out of there and force her to be around other people. You don’t have to cause yourself physical damage to self-harm sometimes and I think that self-harm is Billie’s objective right now: to be on her own so no-one can contradict herself as she condemns herself as a monster.
being around people can be the opposite of a good thing sometimes (shocking i know) i think billie needs to be given space and time and a break and needs to know that when shes ready her friends will be there
Problem is she’s trying to find comfort by isolating herself in a mental torture chamber. Everything in that room will remind her she failed to solve Ruth’s problems (which she wasn’t capable of in the first place).
yeah i know, its a complicated situation tbh but i think billie should be given some space being around ppl who are cheerful when you feel like shit can be worse than anything
I’m inclined to agree. A lot of shitty, miserable things have happened, and she’s probably gonna need at least some time to cry and feel shitty and miserable about it. She’s going to feel like that either way, so some time space to let it out may do her good. Especially given her extremely low sense of self-worth right now, being pressured to engage with others just now could end up making things worse. She’ll start to feel bad about the sympathy and attention because she doesn’t believe she deserves it, or instead of empathy from her friends, she’ll see her misery infecting others because she’s poison.
Somebody should definitely check in on her periodically, and not let her wallow in it too long, but forcing her to be around other people all the time would also be detrimental
im at that point rn, my best friend commited suicide sometime in the past 4 days and i just found out and im in shambles i have to work friday and saturday and then im going back to school for my grade 12 and will be living w/ an older friend for free but were all just in this state of “what do we do” idk how to move on idk how to be ok idk what to do i just want to join her
8~~~-({
I don’t know what to say. But this is a place procrastination can be a good thing.
i just want her back yknow like i loved her. so much. and shes just gone and idk who i am anymore and it feels like the entire planets stopped spinning but its still going ppl are still moving the winds still blowing my ipods still using energy im still breathing but none of these things are happening at the same time and its not fair i want her back so much its not fair i know why she did it and i hate the ppl who hurt her and im never going to forgive them for taking her like that
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but I have lost close friends myself, and what I found is that the only way to get past the grief and the pain is to go through it. You can’t avoid it forever and there’s no real trick to it when there’s so much, but you can get through it. Like any arduous journey, you don’t have to do it all at once, and you don’t have do it alone. It can feel like this huge impossible thing at times, and at others it may feel like nothing at all (which can be scary as well), but if you take it one step at a time, and rest when you need to, you can get there, eventually it will be behind you.
I hope at least some of that is actually helpful, and not just as sappy as it sounds in my head, but you can do it. It’ll be hard, and there may even be times when you don’t want to feel better, like being happy again would be some kind of betrayal, but it isn’t. You’re allowed to take a break from your grief, even if there’s more of it for later.
I’d say that’s a bad idea in general. Sure, there are times where you basically have no choice but to intervene against the other person’s wishes. But it should always be a last resort.
I’ve had people who tried to force me into things, and, as you would guess from a layperson without psychological knowledge, it didn’t work, and only made things worse. I became scared of them and avoided them entirely.
Even if it’s something you read that will help, there’s a reason that psychologist try to get you where you are willing to go along, rather than just force the issue on you. If you aren’t on board for the ride, they become one of the people making life worse for you.
Billie ought to just move into the room and start RAing. She did a pretty good job of it last time Ruth was indisposed.
nah. she’d be terrible. she is terrible. just ask her.
Better if you don’t – her answer would suck just as she suck.
…
Maaaaan, gallows humor is the only way for me to plow throw this strip. I’m with Becky about Billie – please, please, please don’t hurt anymore, but I have no idea how to make it so.
If anyone should be an RA it should be Sarah. She genuinely cares about people and tries to protect and support them. She doesn’t hesitate to do what’s right, even if it means everyone hates her, and she has no issues with depression or chemical dependency.
Sarah wishes she wouldn’t get involved in anyone’s problems (though she can’t resist). She’d have to be more honest with herself and others that she cares about them deeply.
Rachel seems very on point! I’d vote for her.
For now, I’ll just be sad. Later I can enjoy this, but for now, sads.
Oh, Billie, being able to cause damage is part of being alive.
It’s not one I would include in the promotional materials
”Life™! Now featuring Mistakes and Regret!”
I am now picturing wierd marshmallows in the cereal, and way serious event spaces on the board game.
To be fair the promotional materials of life are usually crap and full of bs.
Time to get another ticket for the feels train.
god dammit
None of this would have happened if she wasn’t a Leafs fan
Let that be a lesson to us all
For some reason, I think that Becky will be the one to get Billie to see the light of reason and help her out of her current funk.
I’m not saying she’ll magically cure Billie, or something of the like, just that she’ll be the only one who’ll understand what Billie is going through and actually be able to help.
I’m probably wrong on that front. But it would be nice.
That whole “magical queer who magically makes everything better trope” might be a bit passé, but no one told Becky that. Becky will MAGIC THE SHIT out of Billie’s depression.
I actually think you might be right. Because as worthless as Billie feels, BECKY truly, genuinely thinks that she is one of the coolest things ever, and she can personally attest to how Billie – cool lady who likes ladies, gives newly outed gays FREE haircut money, lends her room for a gal in need and friggin’ tries to SAVE PEOPLE FROM SUICIDE (or, as Becky knows it, the SCARIEST SHIT EVER!!!!) – does TONS OF GOOD!!!
Or in other words, for Becky Billie is still an AAAAAAALPHA-BOOOOOONGOOOOO!!!!!
Yeah, I think Becky can be an unexpected comfort at some time when Billie stops wanting to push everyone away. Because in Becky’s eyes, she’s awesome and helped her out of a lot of bad jams without even trying that hard. So it can be a reminder that even when she viewed herself as damaging to everyone but Ruth, she still managed to help someone not named Ruth.
But that will probably only be after this current depressive state washes over her a bit and she’s in a better state to hear that respect without immediately assuming it’s trash (because in her mind, she’s trash, so someone else’s praise must also be trash, because how could anyone think she’s worthwhile or helpful).
I’m not sure if she’ll succeed, or how long it will take, but Becky is definitely the person I could most see going in to check on Billie.
Because of her mother, this is an issue that is very close to home. She already feels like she should have noticed something was wrong. We saw how she reacted to Billie at the health centre.
Billie told Walky to pass the message about her bed along to Becky. Becky now sees that as a red flag, and that’s before Walky comes to her still visibly freaked out from this conversation. If he tells her about what Billie was saying, I could definitely see her trying to go in and check up on Billie.
Cue Magical Lesbian Pixie Sparkles!
Magical Bisexual Pixie Sparkles never got well established in the marketplace, due to their visibility problems.
I think she’ll get Billie to see that she’s not a crappy person and use the whole “you gave me your room” as a springboard to make her see that there’s good in her. I think once Billie begins to see that she can and is a better person than she gives herself credit for, she’ll be able to move towards recovery/healthier lifestyle, and I think someone like Becky, a complete third party to the group who’s seen some shit, is the perfect person to help her. The same way I think Carla is The best for Ruth, since I maintain Carla is the official female bullshit caller in the dorm (the male one being Mike) and can point out Ruth’s behavior immediately.
I just hope for the best for Billie. She’s easily one of my fave characters.
So, with Grav Roulette giving me so many repeats in lieu of my Walky grav…
…. why IS that, anyway? What gives, Grav Roulette? I’d suspect Willis of maliciously reprogramming you to deny me a Walky, but he’s got infants and I think I rank below sleep in his priorities.
…. anyhow, with so many repeats making it hard to comment on Grav Roulette’s choices for me, I’m going starting a new project, called SPOT THE BOOK TITLE!
For half this book we’ve been having people spot quotes and memes that would make for great book titles, so over the past few days I have archive-dived through this book’s… archive? Damn you, Repetition! … and parsed out several quotes and references that are either appropriate for a book title, or awesome and/or funny in their own right. Obviously some people might disagree with what I decided to include or not include, and I’ll be the first to admit that I likely missed something.
…. while perusing old comment threads. I…. might have a problem.
ANYHOO.
I’m going to post the list as a reply (or perhaps several replies, given its length) to this post. I’d like people to comment on their favorites and also ones they don’t think would make good book titles. Maybe argue about it some. I’ll use the responses to pare the list down to maybe a half dozen. Then we’ll vote, and Willis will take the result of that vote and use it for trash bin stuffing because he’s no doubt already got a title chosen, so this is mostly an opportunity to discuss and debate our favorite lines from the past year or so.
All right sounds like a plan LET’S DO THIS.
9/8/15: “A critical system update has doubled the known variables.”
9/26/15: “If I’m naked, maybe this is just a nightmare.”
9/30/15: “You didn’t do the math, didja?”
10/30/15: “How come everythin’ you say makes me feel like Ah’m bein’ trolled?”
10/9/15: “Everythin’s lookin’ pretty up…”
10/15/15 (alt text): “tfw your best friend’s dad reveals himself to be a scary jackass”
10/16/15 (and others): “I will die for you.”
10/20/15: “No, I’M crazy. HE’S just an incredible asshole.”
10/25/15: “Nothing more can hurt me.”
10/31/15: “Does 911 come in through the roof?”
11/1/15: “Why does it always have to be DADS?”
11/6/15: “Every time home shows up here, I like home a little less.”
11/11/15: “Republican National Convention gay.”
11/25/15: “Everything’s really broken, isn’t it?”
11/27/15: “EHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
11/28/15: “Don’t get guns pointed at you.” (Included because of alt text.)
12/4/15: “I for one do not welcome our new profane Joyce overlord.”
12/5/15: “Premature employment of self-referential humor”
12/8/15: “I don’t want to be that oblivious guy anymore.”
12/13/15: “Could you not?”
12/14/15: “HOPPABLE FOORRCE!”
12/20/15: “A situation is what it is.”
12/21/15: “People are complicated.”
12/23/15: “Gayganomics”
12/25/15: “I’m too poor to have principles.”
12/27/15: “If they’re depressed, then it’s all kind of a crapshoot.”
12/28/15: “Something stupidly sappy. Fill in your own blanks.”
1/4/16: “Inadvertently playing a married couple will not be worth extra credit”
1/8/16: “Stop trying to change me.” “I’ve changed enough.”
1/10/16: “I’m not gonna be anybody’s teachable moment.”
1/11/16 (first of many): “I’m fine.”
1/15/16: “The burden of bringer-of-bad-news”
1/17/16: “Sorry about all those other adults, I promise I’m mostly okay.”
1/19/16: “I will advance your concerns to the ‘don’t care’ committee for review.”
1/20/16: “The calm before the mother-fucking storm”
1/25/16: Internal Screaming
1/26/16: “Learn how to college, yo.”
1/30/16: “I’m going to nod and smile a lot, until I find enough humility.”
2/5/16: “I just really like spite.”
2/8/16: “It’s a good thing our relationship is based in anger, because there’s always more fucking kindling.”
2/8/16: “What, I can’t lie OR keep secrets? This is bullshit!”
2/9/16: “I am DEFTLY handling this.”
2/17/16: “I wonder, if given an ample quantity of white hot rage, I can will myself 19 years into the past and stab somebody through the womb.”
2/18/16: “Understand this shit doesn’t happen in Canada.”
2/25/16: “Don’t you know how to interact with people like a normal human being?”
2/27/16: “Here I am bongoing about being tragedy-adjacent.”
2/29/16: “Seduced by unbelievers and lesbians”
3/5/16: “Noticin’ things sucks.”
3/9/16: “The machinations of my revenge will be cold, swift, and absolutely ridiculous.”
3/22/16: “The story of how Carla Rutten scored free bonus cookies!”
3/23/16: “Something I shouldn’t’ve blurted out loud ‘cuz it might be misconstrued as concern”
3/24/16: “I’ve wasted so much of this semester NOT having called my room ‘the murder cave’.”
3/24/16: “If I die in here, tell everyone that I hate them and I was always way better than them.”
3/25/16: “What the hell’s the point in having power if you can’t abuse it?”
3/28/16: “God dammit, this is EXACTLY why I avoid being a good person.”
4/4/16: “I want to throw something but also I still have concern for other people’s property!”
4/6/16: “I SWEAR I WILL PUNCH EVERYONE IN THIS ENTIRE CITY”
4/8/16: “Poopfacelittlesistersayswhat”
4/13/16: “I wanna engrave a marital scripture on a human skull.”
4/16/16: Giant-Ass Slab o’ Problems
4/20/16: “Sixteen ‘Answers in Genesis’ links and a dozen ‘poo’ emojis.”
4/21/16: “Hey guess who’s also fine being alone”
4/22/16: “Deeeeeeeeessssperadooooooo-”
4/26/16: “We should first take a moment to reflect on how you’ve said you value my total honesty.”
4/28/16: “The only person turned against you is you.”
4/30/16: “I’ve GOT to stop getting dumped on these damned steps.”
5/2/16: “This whole charade is exhausting.”
5/5/16 (and elsewhere): score to 1812 overture
5/6/16: “Persona Non Grata”
5/7/16: “Both a long time coming and incredibly out of nowhere at the same time.”
5/8/16: “Will you friggin’ quit being perfect?”
5/9/16: “I hate your stupid psychological assessments of me.” — Sarah, to the comments section
5/14/16: “You should always hear both sides to a story before judging”
5/15/16: “oops we’re looping back into unhealthy”
5/16/16: “OH GOD WE WOULD BE THE FUCKING WORST.”
5/21/16: “Who knew that drawing ding-dongs was a gateway crime to GRAND LARCENY?”
5/22/16: “On my first day I’ll have to find the biggest lady there and scoop out her eyeballs with a rusty spoon.”
5/23/16: “Remember earlier when I said to hide your anger? Well forget that for the next ten seconds.”
5/26/16: “I’M NOT GOING TO PRISON OVER A GRANOLA BAR.”
5/29/16: “Like some BOX is gonna protect me from THAT.”
5/31/16: “The one thing that angers you more than anything else in this world is that I EXIST.”
6/11/16: “Why do I even TRY to have conversations with you?”
6/15/16: “This is the most wrong thing I have ever seen.”
6/16/16: “Do whatever the hell you want, you mother-fucking goddess”
6/23/16: “Please don’t be naked or murdery!”
6/24/16: “I’m fine.”
7/7/16: “I feel like my brainstorming isn’t being rewarded.”
7/9/16: “Maybe I just don’t want to get in the middle of an argument over something so stupid.”
7/10/16: “Let’s just say that if I didn’t know her in high school, I wouldn’t know what the term ‘guro’ means.”
7/11/16: “I’m usually more on the ball about this.”
7/14/16: “The amount of energy I’ve invested in my rage says I don’t see a distinction.”
7/16/16: “Right now, I don’t want to deal with anything.”
7/17/16: “Call me crazy, but I’m beginning to think you’re NOT ACTUALLY OKAY.”
7/21/16: “OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS MANAGING THE COURTSHIP OF TWO CUTE QUEER LADIES NOT A GODDAMNED DEATH CULT”
7/22/16: “Your stupid secret love is DUMB and NOBODY CARES!”
7/25/16: “Why the heck am I runnin’ TOWARDS the feels?”
8/7/16: “SELF-DEPRECATION IS HOW WE’RE HERE”
8/10/16: “Don’t WORRY, I’m NOT here to drag your daughter back with me to Hell.”
8/11/16: “Give me a heads up when you’re ready to consider some friggin’ NUANCE.”
I’m pretty sure I’ve already, like, actually TOLD people what the title’s gonna be.
BAH! Your logic and facts have no power over me!
…. also, I just might be a total luddite who never reads any tweets.
I have felt like this way too many times, and I can relate to this strip well, except instead of telling people about my problems, I’d just say “I’m fine” and then spiral even more.
“No, I’m NOT Ok.
But I’m not going to kill myself. Probably.”
“Uh, lemme know if you’d like some milk or cookies. Or something…”