You make his penis sad Joyce.
Does it have a tear in its eye? 😛
Tear as in crying, no? Tear as in rip, maybe if he gets any further with his plans that this.
You have the perfect grav for that comment.
Amazi-Girl, defender of the innocent.
The SEXUALLY innocent.
my belief is that its roofie’d
It’s still just Seirra Mist too. This guy is bad at this in so many ways.
i think a speech bubble may be off in panel 4
That was my thoughts exactly.
also i dont trust that glass of sprite, -.-i feel bad juju
I noticed that too. The one on the bottom of panel four is pointing at Ryan, but should be pointing at Joyce.
Guess it’s fixed now, because I was wondering what on earth you all were talking about until I read your comment. 😀
If you point out an error in his comics, Willis will fix it.
Using webcomic dark sorcery and whatnot.
It’s still pointing at Ryan, at least for me.
Well played joyce.
Indeed. So well played, I’m beginning to wonder– is anyone really *that* stupidly lucky? Or is she, to a point, playing dumb? I’m not saying she’s not innocent to the point of laughability, I’m just wondering if somewhere in the back of her head, she realizes the inherent danger and is thwarting it not-so-entirely-on-accident.
Seems likely. Even in the original continuity, Joyce was only completely clueless because of repeated mindwipes. That isn’t an issue, here, so somewhere in her head, a little red flag probably went up.
As homeschooled as Joyce is, I’m sure her parents must’ve imprinted into her things like “Never be alone in a room with a guy”, “Never accept free candy from strangers”, and “Never mix bleach and ammonia”.
Or, y’know. Rule of Funny. It’s freaking hilarious to see his blueballs and his brain burst simultaneously.
Maybe Billie could help him with those.
her “rapey” senses are tingling…
watch the “joyce” as she enters an unknown habitat: when in a room of complete strangers and making a first impression, the”joyce” establishes dominance quickly…
Last dialogue balloon in fourth panel?–Pointeth at wrong speaker, methinks.
Wait. Is Ryan’s second dialogue balloon in the third panel supposed to be pointing toward Joyce? It makes a little more sense that way.
Fourth panel. I can’t count.
is the “these drunk people think i’m awesome” supposed to be said by him? it looks more like something she’d say considering the last panel
Why doesn’t this clown go try and pull what he did with Ruth?
Cuz this universe’s Ruth would beat the sh*t out of him…
Until it gets unconfirmed, my headcanon is that something like that was the reason Ruth was so upset when Billie was watching from the closet.
Aw, geez, you think so? >//////.<
Oh yeah, Joyce is smart. “Go ahead and drink the Sprite you probably roofied.”
way to fuck up my head while i try to read this
Also, uh, word balloon misdirected there.
Time to count your losses buddy. The longer you keep at this the more likely karma is to take a nice chomp out of your ass.
Yeah he should just bow out. Or enjoy the game! It’s a good game dangit! Though I think you need an expension to play with 6 players right?
Yes, you do. But last comic someone mention there was someone in their dorm with ALL the expansions. Maybe there’s some one like that at this party.
While the word balloon is probably just misplaced, I like to think it’s right where it was intended to go, and Ryan is expressing his exasperation at being seen as funny by drunk people.
Last panel Ryan must be thinking on the lines of: “Curse you Joyce for making me waste my Rohypnol, those things aint cheap.”
Nah. Prolly squintin’ like that ’cause his balls are getting bluer by the second! Let’s see how long he can hold all that “frustration” at bay. One-one thousand…
Btw Plasma, your link is my new favorite website.
The Drama Button is always handy in webcomics like this.
Later, we find out that Joyce really knew what was going on the entire time, and was outplaying the supposed chessmaster.
I second that idea!
I third this!
let the record show that joyce, while adorable, is not a mad genius, much mears a criminal mastermind!
i’m obviously using a smartphone for this!
I want it on the record that this is what I had said, last friday.
They’d call me crazy, but I am NOT crazy! I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT’S NOT CRAZY!
p.s. here’s hoping i get the same gravatar as then.
Hmm, nope, I seem to be Joyce now. Oh well. All the more reason not to want her to be dumb I guess.
Joyce is an awesome avatar for that statement.
This guy looks like Leslie. In Walkyverse, Leslie Bean had very religious parents, perhaps in DOA verse her dad is a pastor? I am pegging this guy as Ryan Bean, Leslie’s younger brother.
But Ryan Bean isn’t a pun. I alwaysthought Leslie’s brother would be named Haz, or something like that.
Her brother is the famous magician, the Great Garbanzo
His name’s Kid,
Short for Kidney
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT?
In the kingdom of the drunk, the one-Sprite woman is queen.
Everyone loves the designated driver at parties.
This cannot end well.
For that guy. 😀
Oh man, this is gonna be my official college title now. Please please please.
Since when is Joyce the Queen of the Drunks?
That’s Billie’s role in this comic.
It’s like a monarchy. If you’re the King or Queen, you’re not really one of the “common folk.” Billie is the ruler of the drunks, but Joyce is the Queen in that she rules above them by the merits of being sober.
In the land of the drunks, the sober person is queen.
You said what i was thinking, only Better!
You seem to be a bit confused. Billie is the Drunk Queen. Joyce is Queen of the Drunks. A small distinction, but one nonetheless.
If it solves the complications, though, we can make her a princess or perhaps a duchess?
Billie is already Superdrunk and has far too many alcohol-consumption-based crimefighting responsibilities to attend to for her to assume the throne.
Weren’t He-Man and Shera both royalty while pulling double duty fighting crime? Besides, princesses generally just look pretty at royal functions and get married off for alliances unless there are no male heirs.
ALL HAIL QUEEN JOYCE!
May she reign forevermore!
At a party three months hence:
A: “Who is she? I keep on seeing her at parties.”
B: “That is Joyce. She doesn’t drink. She just plays board games. She’s awesome!”
B: “Have you heard her jokes? You should definitely hear her jokes.”
I can also imagine Billie being introduced to Joyce at a party by someone who doesn’t know they have already met, and Billie gaping in disbelief that Joyce has acquired Bueller-like popularity among drunk people at parties
Your right, this is how it should end.
Billie always takes it too far and is seen as kinda weird by the people who don’t wanna get super drunk, and Joyce ends up with all the cool friends she thinks are hers by right.
Hail to the Queen, BABY!
Ryan certainly looks like he wants to crown her.
He wanted to give her a scepter at least…
HUZZAH! Ξ All hail the Queen!
Could Joyce be Faire folk? If she isn’t yet it would be most well for her to start. Joyce in garb… Bad thoughts!
I have to admit, she’s gone from dull in others eyes to completely Queen COOL! in just 3 days!
GOD SAVE US FROM THE QUEEN!
“We are not amused!”
God save the Queen!
^ Perfect avatar for the comment.
This is all too perfect for it to simply be Joyce’s innocence foiling his every move. I have a feeling Joyce is at least getting ‘bad vibes’ about him or is starting to wise to his game, and is now gleefully foiling his plans.
I dunno. This Joyce is a bit less naive than Roomies!Joyce, but I think it’s more likely that she just trusts what he’s saying at face value so much that it’s backfiring on him. Joyce doesn’t strike me as the type of person to be able to lie/act that convincingly.
Besides, it’s funnier that way.
I’ve got this feeling that he misquoted a Bible verse somewhere, which tipped off her “false prophet” senses, and made her hyper-aware of what he might be up to. Since then, she’s on high alert, while still remaining her cheerful self.
I disagree. I think she’s legit. Consider how’s shes reacted up till now to things outside her normal world bubble. If a guy leering a boobs sets her off, and atheists existing and not having horns shocks her into hiccups, attempted rape would make her bonkers considering it’s scant days later.
what REALLY tipped her off was that he claimed to have sprite, when we all know this party only has sierra mist.
Oh, I like you.
Or maybe she isn’t tipped off that it’s spiked, she just doesn’t like the mist.
I think she was buying it at first, then she saw the room. Who keeps board games in a bedroom?
Lots of gamers, since we’ve already filled the hall closet and the Ikea shelves we put in the basement.
Me and every gamer friend I knew in college?
I don’t even play boardgames and I’ve got Risk in my room. My room is where I keep my stuff. I thought that was a pretty typical situation.
She’s at a college party. Most private rooms your’re going to find at a frat or dorm are going to be someone’s bedroom, and many college students don’t have a room that isn’t a bedroom to keep their stuff in.
Nah. We’ve SEEN her thoughts about him – “Find husband: CHECK”.
Joyce is just that lucky.
That’s almost the same thing she seemed to be thinking when she first met Joe. And we all know how that ended.
And when she met Ethan.
Except Ethan didn’t get punched; he hasn’t brought her expectations crashing down in a ball of fire. Joe did, and Ryan seems to be heading down that road.
Huh. I guess being naive IS a good thing sometimes.
Attempting Plan B … it’s not very effective.
Now devising Plan C.
Theory: Ryan’s last name is B’tard.
Or even better and punnier, Ryan Wait.
First off bud, she KNOWS it’s not SPRITE and that it’s her arch enemy, Sierra Mist (which she reluctantly drank).
Second, she knows not to drink something that might be spiked at a drinking party, if she’s not watching who’s pouring the glass.
Third, she’s just got them killer instincts.
And then she just wants to have some fun.
Yeah, the only way this could have possibly been more awesome would be if she’d called him on the Sierra Mist/Sprite thing.
Last panel Ryan is hilarious.
1, i dobut he tried to drug the sprite, he doesn’t seem stupid enough to try that in a room full of people on the one girl who’s not drinking alcohol, too much of a risk.
2, why is there a roz tag? i see no roz
Remember though, they’re drunk, they’re not going to remember most likely what happened the previous night so he’s in the clear.
Yeah, I noticed that Roz tag and no Roz, unless………
Also, remember, he was surprised by the people in the room. I don’t think he’s left and returned, he had it with him when he got there.
Roz is a ninja didn’t cha know?
And Dorothy is a ghost.
In the Name of the Joyce, the Ninja, and the Reporter Ghost, Amen.
He had that drink whipped up BEFORE he was aware there were people there besides Joyce. The rat bastard tried to rape her, plain and simple.
And he’s the one about to get raped. At Settlers of Catan.
With his femurs.
*pulls out a bonesaw and gets to work*
Get the hot pokers if you’re going to do it right.
No place to heat them up, unfortunately. Hmm. Maybe I can make a booze fire?
Better than drinking the stuff, don’t want to end up being nice about it.
Hmm… weird. Joyce is as naïve or as holier-than-thou as I’d pegged her.
…should I rephrase that?
Fuck it. Too drunk.
Joyce is so naive she’s gone all the way back around to being downright cagey.
As for holier-than-thou…umm, I’m not seeing it.
She’s not holier-than-thou. She can take things too far (As in the case of Joe) but the holier-than-thou only applies if she thinks she’s BETTER than people because of that reason, and she has stated that everyone is equal. But she is very naive, although, sometimes you have to wonder…
Agreed. Sometimes there is a fine line between “holier than thou” and “butting into stuff that’s none of your business” but I think she’s more the latter. She just doesn’t quite understand that telling people what they’re doing wrong in their lifestyle isn’t the way to win converts. 😉
Well, at least one cast member is enjoying the party! Joyce Brown, Queen of Catan!
So much backfire, so much. Then someone downs that drink and is out for the night.
There’s a Dorothy tag too.
All hail Froglord, King of the Amphibians!
In the future it will be BYOS parties….
Bring Your Own Snacks?
Bring Your Own Settlers?
Bring your own Sprite
If Roz has her way, Bring Your Own Sextoys.
Not as uncommon as you might think…
I thought as much…
Would you really want to go to a party where you are expected to use strangers sex toys?
The answer is E! All of the above!
It depends. Is it a mandatory sex party?
Sex is a must for all parties!
Like I said last time, Joyce is so naive, she wraps all the way back around to genius.
Indeed. It’s like a superpower.
Between that and Amazigirl, I”m suspecting we’ve got more metahumans here than I’d expected.
Not as easy a mark as you thought, huh nitwit?
Not when god has dedicated his attention to her protection!!! Meanwhile at steve jobs place….
I’ma go with “too soon.”
A man just died. Of cancer.
Like, a real man.
Wow, the icon-picking fairies continue to shine.
Nothing is ever “too soon” – the most important stage of grief is laughter.
Never too soon. People gave me the news of Michael Jackson’s death and I was like “Oh no…there were so many things he didn’t get to do…He never became a woman!”
Of course, I’m not known for sense of humor being always…agreed with.
joke I heard on the day jackson died was one about another actress asking god to protect her children just before she died. A few hours later, Michael Jackson kicked the bucket.
I guess this is an adecuate place to share that I have a friend who was born on the same day that Jackson died. Only obviously 20 years before.
Also, it is reasonable to assume there will be memorials of his dead, every year, for the rest of our foreseeable lives. And they will always remind me of her.
The day of Jackson’s death is a god example, though. Michael jokes were all over the place and some of them were even jokes. It was Michael after all. But that same day we lost Farrah Fawcett and any jokes on her were too soon.
Steve Jobs? Too soon IMO. The man worked very nearly until he died.
I remember back in 1986 when the Space Shuttle blew up live on TV, we were making dead astronaught jokes before the wreckage hit the ground.
…those Westboro jackasses are cruising for a bruising?
(No, really. WBC is planning on picketing Jobs’ funeral in their continuing quest to troll people into doing something they can sue over.)
Unfortunately, they’re probably just going to awaken the troll Satan that is /b/, and have a bunch of masked teenagers beat the hell out of them.
I doubt any cops would try especially hard to find out who did it.
I’m surprised that Shirley Phelps hasn’t been shot yet, to be honest.
(I’m not saying I’d condone such a thing, but people get shot over stuff that is SO STUPID yet no one has set HER in the sites of their deer rifle?)
Yeah, dude, pour out your roofie-Sprite and move on. Plus, Catan is a fun game!
I love seeing Ryan’s frustation… suffer! suffer! 😀
where is your avatar from? it looks interesting.
Interesting? It scares the crap out of me.
Gotta say, wonderful turn. Joyce has an opportunity to be less 1-dimensional now.
Joyce is one of the more complex and developed members of the cast. If you think she’s a flat character, it may be the lens through which you view her instead.
… What? You mean Dumbing of Age Joyce? Uh, it’s true she’s been exposed to more diversity now that she’s in college, but as a character, she’s still been … not necessarily one-dimensional, so much as … well, she’s not yet what I’d call a fully rounded character, but that’s the fun of character development, although she has willfully and successfully ventured outside of her regular comfort zone somewhat.
This is the funniest date rape I’ve ever seen. …well that’s sure an awkward thing to say.
It is, isn’t it. 😀
It’s certainly a line i never expected to agree with.
Every comic makes me love Joyce more and more. And her kingdom sounds like one I can get behind. “HUZZAH!” indeed!
I just got it.
It’s the -Ryan- and the -Lamb-!
Oh god, I need sleep.
That was hillarious. *hands you a bowl of Cadbury Egg Cereal*
I so love Joyce. And hate him. Seriously, Sprite and roofies really ruin Settlers of Catan! You can never get the pieces to fit right afterwards!
yes, it looks like he wont be getting the pieces to fit together
Since I don’t drink, this is how I entertain myself too. I recommend it. 😀
Joyce is awesome.
Ryan! You shouldn’t clench your fist like that while holding onto a glass!
But if he doesn’t clench it, then how can he crush it to prove a point?
If he doesn’t crush it to prove a point, how can Mike get his kicks?
If Mike doesn’t get his kicks, who’d fuck your mom for a nickel?
if nickels aren’t exchanged, how will the economy recover?
With your femurs.
If they don’t have femurs, how can they get in your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEE?
With their penis?
I’m glad she’s safe via nievete, but if he’s trying to slip her something or get her drunk and the story doesn’t end with him in jail I’m not gonna be satisfied.
I don’t think you can go to jail for trying to get someone drunk. For drrugged, yes. For raping while drunk, yes. But not for just drunk. And at this rate he’s not going to get the chance to try anything illegal on Joyce.
Which, yes, leaves him free to try someone else later, unless we see him get taken down then. But supposedly this stuff is common anyway, with him being generic, not Rare Evil.
You can totally go to jail for trying to get someone drunk if they’re under 21, which I’m pretty sure Joyce said she was. Under 21, that is. Probably the only likely way for something really bad to happen to him legal-wise here would be if there was a reporter nearby who might notice.
Like Dorothy, perhaps?
Jail, hell. I’d rather he ends up in the ER. See my comment below.
Joyce = Fluttershy^2. Nuff said. No wait, i loved her queen of the drunks – joke. XD
Now, nuff said.
And now I’m imagining people telling her what Ryan tried and her later hearing about him, and screaming “THAT…BIG…MEANIE!” and getting super strength.
Fluttershy is best pony just like Joyce is best character.
Yes, i can see Joyce screaming *That.. Big… Dumb… Meanie!*. It would fit her. XD
Well we’ve already had the amazing “GOSH DARN YOU”…
But the question we should really be asking…
Is Joyce DoA’s Stare Master?
Great, now i wanna see Joyce using *The Stare* on Ryan. XD
And chase him off. While being roofied.
I will never be able to see her as anything but Fluttershy again.
You’ve just made this comic a certain quotable percentage of cooler.
Long live Queen Joyce!!!
Oh come on, Ryan, just give up already!
Amen to that. He’s more persistent than I expected. I just hope Joyce can keep up this…whatever it is she’s doing.
I don’t know if it’s to any degree deliberate, but it’s certainly awesome. Go Joyce.
It be fair, Joyce’s sweater puppies are pretty impressive, no wonder he is so persistent.
He’s tried…twice…in a few minutes. This isn’t persistence or desperation, this is him trying a second tack. Three, four times? Then it’s persistence.
It’s less the amount of times he tried, and more the ways he’s trying. Him getting all pissy in this comic gives me reason to believe that he’s going to be more persistent in future strips.
That or he’s on the verge of exploding and moving on to an easier mark.
I feel like making a chess-related pun here, but can’t come up with a good one…
… ‘Queen beats Bishop’… ?
Actually, I believe this is a case where the Rook is trying to look for a way to get through the Pawn wall to get to the Queen, but just can’t seem to find one.
So, “Pawn defends Queen.”
man, I love chess, but I cannot play it
You just push the pieces forward until the other guy quits.
If you have Windows 7 installed, look in your ‘Games’ folder. There should be a game called Chess Titans there. play against your comp or a friend, that’ll get you far.
Why did I think about K and Bishop in Blip?
Maybe because of K’s (kinda) innocence.
But Bishop was never dodgy.
You know what? I take back my whole rant about Jesus putting Ryan into a German suplex and all that. This is an absolutely PERFECT punishment.
Oh my god, Joyce is so cute. “My people!”
ruffie is the sprite oldest trick in the book
Ha, take that sex pest!
Everyone’s thinking he tried roofying her. But his thought bubble of finding a mark makes me think a little differently.
how so? a mark is an easy target. that’s exactly what ryan thought she was.
I don’t know, just sounds more like a con artist term than anything else.
true, but a con artist doesn’t always have to be after money.
I am British and I Approve the use of the word Huzzah in this Comic
Long live the Queen!
(I’m sorry. I had to.)
Wouldn’t “God save the Queen!” be more appropriate?
I think God already saved the Queen
I actually really loved joyce in this comic 😀
It’s official: Joyce is awesome.
It would be fun if it turns out that the guy is genuine. You know a fellow evangelical that wants to be alone with her…. to talk about god and stuff. (hence, the ‘find mark’). And she wants to hang out with the drunk crowd and play the heiden version of the colonists of Canaan. poor him…
I won’t get my hopes up though. If it looks like a duck and talks like a duck… he probably wants to roofie her.
I hate when ducks roofie me.
God works in mysterious, and more importantly hilarious ways.
And the score is now 2,0.
Game, set and match.
I hope Joyce ain’t planning on drinking that Sprite…
I think this is my favorite Joyce moment in DoA so far.
In real life, this kind of shit just isn’t funny. I actually had a guy slip something into a drink belonging to a female friend of mine, along about 1979 or so. We knew the guy. Hell, it was a small town, everybody knew everybody. When she started acting oddly, we knew who did it. Roofies didn’t exist then, or if they did we didn’t know about them. He had slipped acid in her drink.
We took the young lady to stay with a friend of hers. The perp had made tracks when his scheme didn’t work.
We found him. We went easy on him. He was only in the hospital for three days. I think his arm was out of the cast six weeks later, his broke ribs eventually healed, but the three teeth he lost, those were permanent.
He never tried anything like that again.
Nothing like committing a felony of your own on behalf of justice . . .
My ass. That’s how things were handled in the little rural community where I grew up, and you know something? Recidivism was non-goddamn-existent. Spousal abuse? Never happened twice – almost every wife had brothers. Slip a girl a mickie? She had brothers or male friends that would kick your ass. It worked very, very well.
When I read this all I thought was “This is too great!” Joyce is Queen of the drunks because she is the only one sober enough to make decisions. Somehow she is skirting the “I am not drinking, but I’m not judging you for doing it either” line and it’s working. I just love it. Drunks that are excepting the fact there is a sober person in the room with them. Now at least they have someone to drive them to the hospital if something goes wrong.
accepting, not excepting
I know quite a few people who object to alcohol for a variety of reasons. They fall very distinctly into the “won’t go to parties because alcohol is bad” camp, and the “will go to parties because drunk people are hilarious” camp.
The second group are a lot more fun to hang around with. So yeah, go Joyce. Doing it right.
Accidentally outwitting a potential date-rapist is just the icing on the cake.
I want to hear some of those jokes…
Maybe along the lines of “What’s the name of the Jim Carrey movie about Lot & his daughters? Sodom and Sodommer!”
This story is about date rape, and I found this comic hilarious. I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve inadvertently been damned to hell by reading this.
Joy has never been cuter. 😀
Me thinks Ryan just wants to get into Joyce’s sweater.
It *is* a cute sweater, but I don’t think it’d fit him very well. 😛
Yes, he is lacking the meat to fill out that sweater properly. Now Joyce, she has the proper sweater meat.
TOTALLY OFF TOPIC
I just started reading Rommies and It’s Walky, and so forth. EVERYBODY IS SO DIFFERENT. It’s crazy.
Ok, I’m done.
That is what Willis was aimming for when he made DoA.
I thought they only had Sierra Mist at the party….
As a non-drinker, I can attest to the great power and ego-boosting of being in a room of drunks. 😛
If Joyce had “find husband” on her to-do list, then why is she choosing a room of drunks over being alone with him? It’s clear that she needs friends to socialize with more than she needs someone to settle down with.
She already met Ethan several strips ago
Hmm. Good point. Maybe she’s just looking for a family before she’s ready to start making one of her own.
If he’s really meant to be her husband, he’ll go along with her desires and interests.
Actually, if she’s going by the old-school wife definition, she’s socializing because all wives socialize, it’s how they help their man further his career. Even pastor’s wives. Plus watching over all the drunks will prepare her for raising children, as they show little to no disregard for other’s property.
Joyce is making me laugh so badly in this story arc.
….holy crap where’s a face joke?
We’re avoiding using that meme today, and today only. Didn’t you get the memo?
Oops, I didn’t get the memo. So, where do I go to have my femurs removed?
But… but drunk people and sober people CAN NOT communicate with each other.
This is so obviously science fiction.
Huzzah, perhaps the greatest cheer ever invented.
I AM the lizard Queen!
i know what this reminds me of? Those old cartoon cereal commercials, where the rabbit or whatever tries to sneak into the kid’s house and eat their cereal, but happenstance or clever ploys on the part of the kids prevent him from succeeding.
Yeah, this reminds me of that…except instead of cereal its virginity.
If we had sigs here, that last line would be mine.
“Silly Ryan, Joyce is Queen of the Drunks!”
Soggies may rule!
“Goddamn it bongo! Shut up and let me rape you!”
^^What I want to see happen!
Holy crap, god really IS watching over her.
Is that speach bubble in the second to last panel not supposed to be Joyce’s?? it really makes little sense if Ryan is saying it.
DAMN that guy is pissed! XD
In the land of tipsies, the sober is king. Or queen in this case.
OMG I laughed so HARD at the last panel!!
All hail Joyce, queen of the drunk!
“My people” LOL I would so do that too :p
Joyce, you win three internets.
There is something bizarrely Peanutsish about Ryan’s expression in the last panel.
All hail joyce
All Hail Joyce!The next installment in the Transformers IDW-verse! It’s like all hail Megatron, but everyone is tortured by naivety and bible verses
you got to admit, if she can maintain her positive attitude while losing her naivete, she might be a great community leader.
Joyce is awesome here. (And, imo, in general.)
“So I recommend the enjoyment of life, for there is nothing better on earth for a person to do except to eat, drink, and enjoy life. So joy will accompany him in his toil during the days of his life which God gives him on earth.”
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