Smooth man, smooth…
Smooth as 2 hour old bourbon.
Smooth as a drive down a Missouri highway
WINNER! (says the Missouri native)
Smooth smooth Michigan
Along interstate 69
The driving is fine
Which is considerably smoother than any road in Michigan.
Hah! I get it!
Although srsly, you should come to Nova Scotia if you wanna see shitty roads. You wouldn’t believe your eyes!
Smooth like a sledgehammer.
Maybe you’re transparent as glass, Danno!
Transparent as glass, think as concrete. Miracle Danny, used by NASA in their spaceships.
THICK. God damnit.
Speaking of glass, Danno is chuggin’ that root beer.
He just can’t take a hint.
Danny can’t talk with food in his mouth but he can talk while drinking. Dude’s got skill.
Maybe he is a budding ventriloquist.
A budding ventriloquist on the cusp of ventriloquist manhood.
Will his voive break if he throws it too hard?
Chicks dig ventriloquists.
And we bring our own shovels.
Just like the in the Scout Motto – Be Prepared
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared!
Still better than mimes.
I interpreted as talk and then sip. But ventriloquism works, too!
“Don’t dub with your mouth full, kid.”
He IS a dumbass, apparently. Shut your hole while you’re ahead, boy!
> Shut your hole while you’re only behind by ten, boy!
“I’ve decided to trust you after I-I mean Amazi-Girl, informed me that you had in fact, had done nothing.”
“So you trust me only because you have confirmation that I did nothing”
“That’s a kind of trust.”
That’s my kind of trust.
“Trust, but verify.”
Yes, yes he is.
Any sentence with both “obfuscating” and “dumbass” in it is a sentence I like.
(test sentence) You are an obfuscating dumbass.
(test sentence) You are a Mime Sympathizer.
Both sentences pass with flying colors.
Clearly this is all an attempt by Willis to juxtapose the chemistry of Danny and Amber with that of Walky and Dorothy
That, or he’s demonstrating that maybe Dotty didn’t dump Danno *just* because he has no plans for the future… >.>
She didn’t dump him for having no plans. She dumped him because his plan was “go wherever she goes”.
She dumped Jim because he was Danny.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU WILLIS!!!
I don’t have a Tumblr. I hope you don’t mind me answering this here:
The second issue goes into how the prisoners were being forced to take a drug. It highly changed the users personality. I think it was a new strain of Venom and Scarecrow’s fear toxin mixed together? I forget. I read the entire first arc but I don’t like reliving it. Two-face was on it at the time. It’s actually an interesting plot but it’s written pretty badly overall. So the One-Face thing was explained. DRUGS.
Goddammit, Danny, you’re making it hard to ship the both of you.
This ship is stuck in dry-dock.
A dab of KY would help that.
A dab? You need a fuel tanker full of that stuff to get any effect.
the bigger the tanker, the stickier the KY gets.
Use what we pro’s use. Alboline!
Um what kind of pro are you Jim?
Just a gigolo
everywhere he goes
people know the part
Paid for every dance
selling each romance
every night some heart
There will come a day
youth will pass away
then what will they say
When the end comes he knows
they’ll say just a gigolo
as life goes on
‘Cause he aint got nobody
nobody nobody cares for me
he’s so sad and lonely
sad and lonely sad and lonely
Won’t some sweet mama
come and take a chance with me
cause he aint so bad
Goddamn you lack of edit feature.
Alboline? never heard of it, a big fan of Astroglide however, nothing like a NASA developed sex lubricant.
The fact that Richard of LFG is saying this has both scared me and roused my curiosity…
Geez and I thought I was bad with women. Still, at least he has a girl talking to him that’s possibly interested in him as more than a friend!
“…hot and horny biracial cheerleader…”
nice. that’s gonna stay with me. in a good way.
It’s a little bit racist, but in a positive way? Sorta?
Whatever it is, it certainly doesn’t make me like Danny more, that’s for sure.
Biracial is pretty vague as races go.
Better than BiSpecies, like Santorum. Oh wait… he’s only one. Chimp. Since evolution is impossible in his blood line!
Everyone’s a little bit racist, okay?
And besides, perhaps he’s got a fetish for biracial chicks, and he’s bringing it up because that’s one more reason why he might’ve done stuff with her.
I personally think it’d be hilarious if he brought up the glasses.
Besides, it’s not like he’s going around commiting hate criiiiimes.
Not haaaaaaaaaaate crimes?
Just cuz it is your birthday doesn’t mean that you can make Danny eat his foot. Sheesh Willis
What does Amber see in this guy?
A better-looking than average nerd maybe?
Perhaps there’s some appeal in the notion of a man who seems psychologically incapable of lying?
Hm, that would be kind of appealing, I guess.
She won’t like it so much if she ever asks that dreaded question: “Does this make my ass look big?”
Well, if she’s dating him for that reason, knowing he can’t lie, it’d be pretty low of her to get pissed off over that.
My husband is one of those bluntly honest people. You learn not to ask questions you don’t want honest answers to.
Also, anyone who asks “Does this make my ass look big?”, deserves whatever answer they get.
The proper answer is: No, it’s not (insert item of clothing) that makes your ass look big.
Exactly! “Nah! The kettle corn does THAT, Honey! How’s the dress gonna make your ass look big? It’s all roughage!”
Sure, if you find mythical creatures appealing
Presumably organs, muscles, a skeletal structure…
Anyone else just here a drum kit fall off a cliff?
a Y Chromosome?
She really doesn’t trust him tho. She only trusted him once she verified the truth.
well as the law says, you’re innocent only until someone breaks into your house and finds the evidence to prove you as such.
She didn’t really have a reason to trust before that. Yeah, it was crazy weird and creepy to go and break into Billie’s dorm just to satisfy her curiosity, but she was completely justified in her suspicions. Now, on the other hand, she DOES have a reason to trust him, and it will be pretty disappointing when the inevitable paranoia sets in and she damages the relationship because she continues to need independent confirmation for any of her suspicions.
This is true, but neglects the important fact that he really didn’t owe her anything, at this point. The closest they had come to commitment was smiling awkwardly at one another right before his ex popped in.
^this. Exactly how was her trust violated in the first place?
I’m actually pretty annoyed at Amber. Like this is such a magnanimous gesture on her part? And I’m annoyed at Danny for thinking he needs her “forgiveness” in this respect. GGGRRR.
He flirted with her. (And openly admitted it.)
The next time she sees him, he appears to be sleeping around (and lying about it).
Thus, the trust violation.
The amorous affectations of a potential suitor carry far less gravitas when said suitor casts their attentions willy-nilly. Her mistrust is quite valid.
But not everyone believes in courting only one person at a time. Without an explicit statement of exclusivity, Danny has no clue whether his flirting is going to lead anywhere. He’s well within his rights to play the field a little bit on week 2 of his Freshman year. Now, if they’d gone on a nice date or two and THEN he had popped out of his room, shirtless, on the heels of a sexy half-asian girl, Amber might have had cause to be upset. But until they make it official, it’s really none of Amber’s business what goes on inside that dorm room.
Couldn’t agree more with Blob Marley and Aegon01. There was no commitment, no justification for mistrust. (Flirting is not commitment and it’s not betrayal to flirt with multiple people when no one is doing anyone yet)
Also, I might be in the minority with this one, but personally I think even if he’d slept with Billie it shouldn’t be some horrible black mark against him forever. No one had committed to anyone, and if nothing else happened between Billy and Danny afterwards, then there’s no emotional commitment at all and it’s over.
Sorry for not articulating this well, but this particular strip sort of bugged me.
To many people, flirting is commitment to the precise degree that it has any effectiveness at all on the flirtation front. Raising somebody’s expectations on false pretenses is kind of a dick move, and making them feel like you’re interested in them personally and then giving them the impression that nope, you were just a Joe looking for something to Joe can make people feel bad if they’re not thinking along those lines to start with. And all this applies even if you haven’t exchanged rings.
Very unfair, I know.
Actually, she probably does trust him now. She has good reason to! And he’s just giving her more reason by caring about her point of view more than his own… Which is foolish, because most girls don’t go for guys they can trust.
Just noticed Amber’s shirt. Awesome.
I need that shirt for my birthday, along with a coupon I can spend to make my wife wear it. Because it would be for her to wear and me to look at.
Billie is biracial? Doesn’t say that in her bio… that I recall.
She’s half british and half chinese. It was in Thursday, somewhere, iirc.
“It was in Thursday, somewhere”? Isn’t that like saying, “I found this great take-out place. It’s in Alabama”?
In one morning conversation in the bathroom with Joyce (I personally don’t recall which morning; sometime north of the Mason-Dixon line, I think it was) Billie thought that Joyce was quite dim for not recognizing that she was biracial – Joyce just thought she was tanned. Presumably Billie wouldn’t be impressed by Jim either.
Sneaking ethnicities into all the bio prose seems like it’d be pretty awkward… Best to focus on personality, yes?
Though maybe I’ll sneak in penis and bust size. Y’know, the important things.
(the answer to either stat for everybody is 44″)
I like where this is going…
44″ long?! Holy shit!
Well, that’s embarrassing!
No. He clearly meant the diameter.
You know what, now I see the answer “42″ in a completely different light.
Also the importance of a towel.
I laughed too loud. Now everyone on the first floor of the language building thinks I’m some kind of crazy man.
“maybe I’ll sneak in penis” — David Willis
In Danny’s defense, best to get everything out in the open than awkwardly double check it later. Right? Hopefully?
It works for me.
Kenan and Kel “Obfuscaaatiing?”
remind me to never ask Danny to defend me if I’m ever trying to prove my innocence.
DANNY. Shut up and roll with it!
Did he just read Billie’s character sheet?
Somebody watches porn. Brazzers couldn’t have written that description any better.
I don’t get guys who like Brazzers.
I’m also ashamed that I know what Brazzers is.
Who the heck actually pays for porn, anyway?
Porn industry workers checking out the competition?
The insanely wealthy?
Infinitely many monkeys sitting at keyboards attached to computers connected to the internet and in possession of valid credit cards (next on their to-do list after the complete works of Shapespeare)?
There’s no shame in watching porn. And also, anyone who browses Reddit learns what Brazzers is pretty quickly (like, the first time you see somebody slap their logo on a compromising-looking screencap from the Lion King). I’m actually not a fan of them myself, but to each his own, I guess.
No. You misunderstand. I have nothing against porn. It’s Brazzers I’ve the problem with. Every dude I know says fake boobies are for yuckies. But all the Brazzers porn I’ve seen (I make it sound like I’ve seen so much) is all these fugly fake tittied wannabe actresses taking a shot in the bum to put themselves through film school or whatever.
Seriously, I don’t get the appeal.
That’s right Danny, seduce her with your lack of common sense.
She plays World of Warcraft. She’s used to committing to people who have no common sense. It’s called a guild.
Biracial?? I’m sure that word doesn’t even exist.
Nnnnoooo, I think it does.
It’s like bifocal but with races.
For some reason I read that as bifocal but with braces. Sounds painful.
You mean… like running two races at the same time?
This is one of those times you’d think a quick Googling would be prudent before posting.
Someone needs to make an addon for browsers that runs a quick cross-check of a word against Dictionary.com if you highlight it, returning “Yep, it’s a word” or plays the Inigo Montoya quote depending on the result.
(The quote which follows “He didn’t fall? Inconcievable!”:)
“You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Dictionary.com is not the most reliable resource. For example, I have yet to see the word ‘quadrangularness’ used, ever. And it doesn’t appear on the internet except in other similarly sketchy dictionary sources or word collections. As far as I could tell within the first seven pages of Google results, anyway. I am not inclined to go through the 7890 results individually to make sure.
Please – quadrangular is obviously a word, so by standard suffix rules you get quadrangularness for free.
Floccinaucinihilipilification, on the other hand, is a tad more suspicious.
What begbert2 said.
This isn’t ‘Nam. This is grammar. There are rules.
Most people have never seen “squamous” or “vigintillions” either, but they’re totes legit.
I dunno. Don’t you want to be able to quantify the quadrangularness of a parallellogram? Or show off your rhobussitudinal attributes? (Though circular attributes are more interesting…)
More food headed into Danny’s mouth. He can talk fine while drinking, but I wonder what will happen in the next strip. Not in a curious way. More like an “I’m bored so I’m going to write a comment” way.
I misread that as “More foot headed into Danny’s mouth.” How oddly appropriate.
Wait, he was only half undressed?
He had his socks on.
Only his front half was naked. His back was fully clothed.
And half dressed. Funny how that works.
Danny’s final comment here makes perfect sense to me. Amber has shown unreasonable trust (from his perspective – he doesn’t know she listened to the tape). He is, naturally, performing a sanity check on her. Amber’s retort has decreased my respect for her a few notches…
It’s kind of sad that she does not, in fact, trust him. Relationships are sad.
If someone has Dave Herbert’s e-mail addy could you contact him for me that “Living with Insanity” has been blacklisted by my malware blocker. The only thing I see when I try to read the site is a red banner telling me his site has malware and white. No other files loaded, even when I tell Firefox that I want to see the page anyway (that used to allow blocked pages to load before)
Obfuscate. TRIPLE WORD SCORE.
I love that word.
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