HERE IS WHERE I WILL BE AT SMALL PRESS EXPO THIS WEEKEND
THE IMAGE AT THE TOP IS A NEW POSTER I WILL BE SELLING
ALSO LIMITED QUANTITIES OF BOOK 2
But that’s not the case, little does Danny know.
Oh Danny, you fox
If Danny is a fox, then Amber is the fox-hound.
And now imagine “The Fox and the Hound” with Danny and Amber.
Given the vague obliviousness-ridden romance between Danny amd Amber, combining that with The Fox and the Hound just seems like a recipe for furry porn.
Which, considering the nature of the story, would inevitably end in snuff.
…I feel bad about myself for posting this.
Oh that’s right, the pre-Disney version has more death.
What is that, Rule 35? Rule 36?
D: But…tragedy will ensue then….
Coming soon from Disney.. The Fox and the Hound 5 – Gettin’ Freak-ay. Rated R.
Danny: the master of subtlety.
Danny’s actually Minoring in subtlety. His Major is Obliviousness.
He’s a smooth operator.
Smooth as Bale’s Batman voice.
Subtle as a fat ninja wearing bright colours.
SAFETY NINJA SAYS ALWAYS WEAR YOUR REFLECTIVE VEST WHEN RIDING YOUR BIKE AT NIGHT.
This is the third time I’ve read this and it still makes me laugh.
Damn it, Danny!
I know. He is this close *holds up fingers less than a millimeter apart* to Dannying this situation.
I get the impression he’s uncomfortable with this.
Well he does think he is being unfaithful to Amazi-Girl.
Amber should just text him from amazi-girl’s phone and say she told Amber it was fine.
Amazi-girl should just come out and say she wants a three-way with Danny and Amber. Come on Danny. Live the DREAM!
Since Lucy is the new Amazi-Girl, this is now possible.
Srsly? Lucy’d be, like, eight in this continuity.
People’s relative ages can be whatever I want in this continuity, as I think has been pretty damn firmly established.
Huh, I was actually wondering about the age differences between Shortpacked & DoA. Thanks for clarifying that, Mr Willis.
Why are you encouraging people to continue the Amazi-Girl identity jokes? I thought you were trying to put a stop to that when you banned references to a certain four- er, eight-wheeled shortpacked! character.
Random832, Willis wanted to stop the Amazi-Girl = S-Car or UC cos he got sick of it, if or when Amazi-Girl = Lucy ever becomes tiresome, he will stop that too.
Willis can invoke SORAS* if he wants to, it’s his comic after all.
*(Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome)
You can SORAS if you want to, you can leave your friends behind, because your friends don’t SORAS and if they don’t SORAS then they’re no friends of mine.
That was brilliant.
It’s his comic, he can SORAS if he wants to, SORAS if he wants to, SORAS if he wants to. You’d SORAS too, if the artist was you!
(Couldn’t resist. I’m really sorry.)
If only I could LIKE all of these replies, I would.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned that down. He’s the only guy who would.
One thing I’m curious about is would Amber actually be ok with Danny pretending some one else was his girlfriend if it was actually someone else? I don’t think she would be.
I thought we established that she would be okay with such things because of her low self esteem… Does it seem a little dark in here?
Amber’s Self-Esteem seems perfectly fine in DoA.
Yeah, DoA Amber is much less of a trainwreck than Shortpacked Amber was, at least at the earlier, stages. She’s angrier, but not as downtrodden.
Obviously this needs to be a storyline – having been assured that Amazi-Girl is okay with him participating in such shenanigans, he has no objection when someone else needs a fake boyfriend.
So. Do we think Danny’s parents are convinced? Place your bets folks.
Also, HUZZAH! Galasso.
So how are their subs, anyway?
Not as capitalized as their pizzas, though they do come with parenthesis.
Aw, man, I have a parenthesis allergy. Can you get it on parenthesis-free bread?
Randal will buy it… But Sharon won’t.
my guess they’ll see how awkward around his supposed girlfriend and come to the conclution that he’s in the closet and Amber is his beard
And then, for maximum messed-up-parent-clusterfuck, try and set him up with Ethan at the end of the day.
While that would be an awesome ship, I’m still rooting for Ethan/Joshua.
Well, thanks, now I’m gonna be disappointed when that doesn’t happen!
Ethan dresses up as amazi-girl, then removes the mask. Shipment success.
Or, Mike dresses up Dorthy as amazing girl, and gets her to remove the mask in front of Danny.
That…would be awesome. Danny’s head would explode, and then Amber would cave her forehead in with face-slappings.
“Gee, Dorothy sure is committed, dying her hair every time she dons the cape.”
I’m guessing…NO! Damn it, Danny…I have much hope for you.
That was your first mistake.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on him just yet.
That was your second mistake.
WHAT WILL BE THE THIIIIIIRD
Lesbian babies? Letting the toaster and waffle iron breed?
…Cactus hats on National Headbutt Day?
Lesbian babies are never a mistake.
Apparently Galasso is ageless.
Indeed. How else would the world’s overlord be?
Smooth Danny. Smooth. Now kiss her. Find out what you’ve been missing holding out for Amazi-girl.
“Amber you taste just like my girlfriend”
(which is on the top ten list of things you don’t want someone to say after kissing you)
(true, however.. this rebuttal.)
“I know, I was just kissing her”
“I can’t tell if that’s awful or AWESOME”
I’m gonna go with “awesome!”
Looks like some subtle scream for help…
I don’t think his parents would help him, even if that would mean, Danny would become a man tonight… regardless if he wants to…
BE A MAN
you must have a superhero girlfriend
BE A MAN
with all the naivete of a 4 year old
BE A MAN
as observant as piece of toast
MYSTERIOUS THAT HE EVEN HAS A GIRLFRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!!!
… That is much better than anything else I could think of as a comment.
If DOA had SP’s comment system I would upvote you, sir.
I’m never gonna catch Amazi-Girl!
Say goodbye to those her knew her!
I really wish that I knew where she weeeeeent!
Amber’s dad’s got her scared to death
Amber: Hope he doesn’t see right through me
Right now I wish I knew how to lie!
Eat at Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs). Come for the food, stay for the bad acting!
Or come to KNEEL!
ZOD AIN’T GOT NUTHIN’ ON THIS KNEELING.
Oh, god, he’s foreign…
We Now Return to our Regularly Scheduled Programming!
I love this only to see Galasso be Galasso. We need a story arc with Galasso and Mike.
A Conqueror and an Ass. What the two can do…
We need the next LAWsome =D =D =D
How about a story about Joe, and see how he conquers asses.
Joe’s an ass man?
Everyone’s an ass man. They’re just not willing to admit it.
Yeah, Joe’s an ass man.
Joe’s an ass, man.
Well, I was going to do “I’m an Assman” song but…
Oh, you didn’t know? You betta calllll sommmmeboooooddddddaaaayyy!
My brain tried to make a pun and all it came up with was “more like Gal-asses”.
I think i inadvertently just created the world’s worst shipping.
Good, they don’t suspect a thing! Probably!
Hell, if they’re half as dense as Danny…
Half? So Danny must be some space-age alloy of his parents?
“Buy Dannium, the greatest metal ever endorsed by Dumbing of Age! Far higher quality than Questionable Content’s “Deathmole” metal.”
Harsh man. Just.. Harsh
Need to get rid of a pesky black hole? Just get some Dannium and presto, black hole problems are gone.
Actual girlfriend? You mean wife, right Willis? Or… maybe it was from Danny’s pers-…
For an extra fee, Galasso will install your meal-disc for you. Admittedly, it is easier to install on “females” as they are referred to.
All hail Galasso!!!
Bask in his Galassic magnificence!
‘Galassic’ is a great word.
He still hasn’t realized has he?
DOA is going to end with the last panel being Danny’s face, finally realizing “OH MY GOD YOU’RE AMAZI-GIRL?!”
I’m calling it now. Danny will never realize until his mind isn’t on her.
This’ll be a few years after his wedding to Amazi-girl, wherein he keeps wondering why she insists that Amber live with them and keep her stuff in Amazi-girl’s dresser.
Danny will be on his deathbed, about 90 years old. And at the last minute, just before he slips away, there will be sudden stunned look on his face, and he will faintly whisper: “Amazi-Girl, you were Amber!” with his last breath.
And Mike, who has gained eternal youth by drinking the blood of orphans, will be the one to tell him.
If Mike were to gain eternal youth, it would be via an activity involving your mom and many, *many* nickels.
No, no. He and his friend Frank from the 2gagaverse have discovered the secret to eternal youth. Frank uses it for science. Mike uses it to make people be better people by being an ass.
Danny is horrified at this due to the fact it’s cheating on his real girlfriend in a very serious way. I look forward when he breaks down and explains to her that Amber means nothing to him and if she wants, he’ll end his friendship with her.
And then Amazi-girl will defeat her most current villain that just popped up in front of her.
THE TERRIBLE X
X THE ELIMINATORRRRRRRRR -keeps rolling the R-
Ooh, that could happen. I want that to happen. How are we thinking she slaps him? Hard?
Why slap when you can kick ? or strangle ? or StrangleKick ?
I used to think that Danny secretly knew Amber’s secret, but the past few weeks have completely shattered any hopes I had for Danny being the least bit clever.
He’s negative clever.
Not many could accomplish that intentionally.
Yeah, you really have to feel bad for Amber, dating such an oblivious idiot. At this point, she could probably come out and tell him that she was Amazi-Girl, and he wouldn’t believe her.
“Danny, I have a confession. You’re in love with the bad side of me. The side of me that… frightens me and reminds me of my father. That’s why I hide behind a mask.” -puts on mask-
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Amber. I love Amazi-Girl. You would do an excellent cosplay of her by the way.”
Oh no, he’d evolve into a DoA commenter!
Not clever? To be fair, Danny is neither a velociraptor nor a girl.
Your girlfriend nuzzles like that? DOES MAGGIE KNOW ABOUT HER???
So was Galasso “normal” at some point? Because I’m imagining a tragic backstory where he just kinda snapped one day and started acting like a cartoon supervillain as a coping mechanism.
His parents were saturday morning villains and raised him to be even more saturday morning and more villain than them.
His parents are Boris and Natasha.
And his first super Saturday act of villainy was to murder the squirrel.
He’s still hunting down the Moose.
He’s got a tragic backstory in Shortpacked!–one that doesn’t square with DoA in any conceivable way–but he seemed to be deranged even then.
Batman killed his parents.
I like that Danny is sincere in his denial of her superheroic identity. I do hope we see SOME positive qualities to him, though, soon. No one is a COMPLETE weenie.
Then again, my approval of Howard increased 1000% with his love of Game of Thrones and acceptance of his sister.
Acceptance? He was pretty insensitive about, as I recall.
He was stupid about it, but I suppose anyone who does not have a complete freak out when a family member comes out (or whatever) is still doing pretty well.
That’s… actually kind of sad, huh.
Or at least a little depression about “My sister gets more girls than I do”.
Oooh, my daily dose of Galasso has been doubled. Most agreeable.
calling it now: danny knows exactly who amazigirl is, but is playing the ‘ignorant love interest’ role to enhance the experience. this will, of course, end with the classic ‘i’m a superhero’ “i already know” exchange.
This is what I’ve been saying practically the whole time!
This is what I’ve been agreeing with Kernanator about practically the whole time!
I just feel he’s being a bit too rude about it for that, though I do wish for that outcome.
Well, since he’s not actually ignorant, he’s just trying too hard to fake it.
Is Willis saying that Amber ISN’T his actual girlfriend?
Oh wait, that’s Asuka Langley Soryu, what am I thinking.
Best in the state, eh? That’s quite a claim. I couldn’t tell you who has the best pizza in Minnesota….
I used to be able to tell you had the best pizza in New York, but they closed.
Yeeeaaaaah. Why hasn’t Amber “come out” to Danny yet? This last thing this comic needs is gender-swapped Spider-manesque “caught in a love triangle with your alter-ego” shenanigans. I’ve read spider-man comics. I know how that shit eventually shakes out.
I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t want Mephisto to retcon any marriages out of reality.
I thought Willis said the supernatural doesn’t exist in this comic?
Does that mean that the TV show Supernatural also doesn’t air in the dumbiverse? As well as any songs called Supernatural?
I certainly hope so. No one should have to watch that shit.
[DISCLAIMER: Has not actually watched Supernatural]
Well, then the cheese retcons it instead. Whatever.
The Cheese, as a robot that can collect life signatures from dead folks and can basically make time and space its bitch, falls pretty squarely into “supernatural”.
Hold up, does this mean that Joe is no longer a brilliant engineer?
Nonsense. The cheese is powered by SCIENCE! Supernatural is magic and shit.
Danny, don’t screw this up. Even though we all know you will.
Also, the invisible text said “girlfiend”, not girlfriend. Fiend, not friend.
“So, Danny wants a girlfriend? I think I will make him a girlfriend. A fiendish girlfriend! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
It got fixed.
Shut up! Do you know how often I get a legit excuse to reference Making Fiends?
What a kind distraction from awfulness this is for Amber. Danny, your dumbery is actually helping, here!
Ignorance is old
I was looking through the Tumblr and I saw the reposts of Disney characters in their other gender counterpart’s costumes. Then I saw the new character designs for the DoA folks, including Sal.
Now I hoping to see a portrait of Sal and Justin wearing each other’s clothing. Justin with the ripped leggings! Sal rocking the bow tie! How could this not be?
Wait, do you mean Jason?
Also, I agree, that would be amazing.
I am…. torn!
On the one hand, the last panel is so good, so funny! The awkward smile, mixed with that line… so good! Like jelly on toast in the morning.
But on the other hand, the first panel… It’s delicious mix of comedy and anger, the over-seasoning of the hamminess of Galasso, it is superb! Funnier than anything I have seen yet! It overshadows the rest of the comic, yet… I do not mind at all!
But, there lingering, there is the thought, nay, the recollection, that I myself in my younger days was so much like this man… He is my role model!
So, one of the reasons I slid into the comments is to avoid commenting on a conversation that is 2 – 3 years old, as I keep being tempted to do in the archives. That being said, O now wonder what the chances are of some of the cast’s parents knowing each other from other points in time. Though I’ll admit that Richard and Stacy have a whole different set of knowledge now, especially as I don’t know what room they’re hiding in. I do feel sorry for Ethan’s bed ahead of time though.
They’re probably in Joe and Danny’s room. Danny’s obviously out with his parents, and Joe probably realizes he should make himself scarce around his father.
A double dose of Galasso. And the best part is that, due to Dumbing’s buffer, Willis didn’t even plan for it to happen. (And if he did, well, he may be a craftier chessmaster than I thought.)
Hey, Danny? Amber’s totally into you AND is available at normal times. Plus, you’ll never have to worry about the “I’m sorry, but it’s become too dangerous” breakup line. Well, probly not, at least.
Amber deserves better.
Best pizza in the state my ass. Clearly Amber has never been to Mad Mushroom Pizza at Purdue.
Empirically, Galasso’s is actually one of the top best pizza places in the nation. Top nine, according to People Magazine! Mad Mushroom can suck it!
I’m pretty sure people from Bloomington are by law required to not notice anything that comes out of Purdue. It’s a New York/New Jersey kind of thing.
Danny: maybe if I smile awkwardly enough…nobody will suspect a thing!
Can the next comic be the apocalypse PLEASE that would be such a relief
Danny leave the sentences to Amber. You stick with the one word monosyllables.
I am disappointed by a lack of parenthetical reference to “(and subs)” in this comic!
The closest we get is an implied parental reference (“it’s the same”).
Well Daniel, you seem to be f-ing this up quite awfully. Now is the time to use some surprise unconventional karate move you conveniently JUST figured out to solve all your problems….. that seems to work for another Daniel I know of….
Oh, so Randall’s a dick to his entire family, not just his son. Good to know.
He has six words in this comic, expressing his opinion that the place has not changed, and that makes him a dick?
Dismissive and controlling. That’s at least gateway dickery.
Glad I’m not the only one those dickhead trigger (not the fun kind) got set off by that. Unnecessary, dismissive and condescending.
Danny you’re an embarrassment to yourself. And others.
I read ‘metal disks’ in the first panel at first and was so confused lol. Not that ‘meal disks’ is something a person says, either, but then the rules of what a real person says don’t really apply to this guy, I feel.
Where’s the booth/wall graffiti?
I don’t feel anger or anything towards Danny… He seems like a really nice guy, just really, really dumb and oblivious. Again, I have a lot of really, really dumb and oblivious friends, so maybe I’m just used to it.
I want Danny to die a slow and painful death
That seems rather harsh.
Agreed just a bit. I mean my best friend is basically a Danny so I feel I should defend him just a little
Every new comic makes me hate Danny more… Granted, I’m pretty sure I have friends like him, too, but that’s fine. I don’t read comics about my friends.
I have no autistic friends, thus I have no sympathy for him.
Whoa–that first frame had me suffering from comic strip whiplash!
This is off-topic re: the strip, but I have to say how much I love Sarah in her above-the-knee socks in the new poster Willis is featuring! (Given my grav, I almost feel like I should add “If I do say so myself!”)
The outfit got my attention because it seemed out of character for Sarah — seems to me her “style” is to draw as little attention to herself in public as possible, while thinking of herself as the “grownup” of the group, inasmuch as she admits to being part of the group.
Me too, actually. I always pictured her as preferring plain outfits over anything else. Maybe she’s being encouraged to switch things up by Joyce?
Maybe! Maybe we’re getting some foreshadowing of a new look for Sarah that will make sense by time we get to it . . .
That outfit looks absolutely horrendeous and tasteless, and I think it’s supposed to symbolize how little of a fuck Sarah gives about fashion and how she looks in general.
Horrendous? Aside from the socks o’power, it’s seems pretty conventional for anyone who is not Sarah.
INSERT SEETHING HATRED FOR DANNY
*parts hair, revealing giant fanged maw in place of skullcap*
I can’t gin up seething hatred for any of these characters. I root for all of them. They all fail so hard in so many ways.
I always imaging Galasso with Lemongrab’s voice.
For those who think they could scam Galasso, ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!
I can see that, but I always pictured him sounding more like The Ultimate Warrior.
The scroll-over text made me smile at my work desk. It’s like a Shakespearean comedy where they guy just can’t understand why this other guy seems so familiar and is also so pretty and kind of hugs the same as the girl he likes.
i’d go to that pizza place just to get served by glasso.
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