I sense a running gag.
Except you can’t see his butt…
Ethan has a built in proctoscope!
Hottest man in the Universe
Sarah and Ethan should exchange roommates, at least for a while… four DoA characters would be all the happier for it, and Mr. Willis would get two new SlipShine episodes, from this very universe.
Maybe as a (wet) dream sequence?
I can’t imagine any sexual situation between Ethan and Joyce that doesn’t end in screaming, tears, awkwardness, murder/suicide, or some combination of the above.
Hey, some people are into extreme awkwardness-driven murder-suicides, don’t judge.
Sounds like that terrible Future Diary manga I was reading. The sci fi is so cool, but the main character relationship is so bad
Awkwardness-driven massacre is three halves of the reasons for Mirai Nikki.
If by “bad” you mean “scary and realistic in how psychologically unhinged/damaged the two of them are” then yeah, sure. If you ask me, their relationship is deliciously abnormal, abnormally delicious, and downright well-written, and damn near redeems everything that might otherwise break suspension of disbelief in that series.
I checked it out. If it’s anything like the online manga, it would seem the anime is far superior.
So… There’s a KickStarter somewhere for this?
I’d subscribe to Slipshine for that.
A Jacob/Joyce Slipshine? Well I do like my porn with awkardly funny moments, so…
Aww, I feel like Jacob would be super kind and considerate.
He IS looking for a relationship…
Amber’s mom sure seemed to think so!
Amber’s Mom has Got It Going On
Ha ha, Plasma! Seriously, Sarah could hold up that dorm room door just as well as Ethan’s doing it now…
If she knew what was currently behind it, she’d rip the door off of its hinges, and probably Ethan’s arms to get to it.
Oooh, I didn’t think about that – my idea was more like an Ethan & Joyce & Jacob threesome.
But I agree, Sarah (and her mechanical phallus) may feel a bit left out, then…
I think an Ethan/Sarah/Jacob threesome would make more sense than involving Joyce.
But Sarah and Jacob can work that out just perfectly alone. Ethan would pretty much be redundant in that setting.
Ethan and Joyce on the other hand need someone as “catalyzer” – and Joyce would learn a lot more. 😉
Batman is apparently afraid of the dark.
Jesus, Jacob. Now you’re doing it on purpose!
Hey Roomie, Just thought I’d dunk this Cold bucket of water down my hot shirtless bod. Sorry it’s so slippery in here. I like to oil up after I rinse off. Helps keep my skin nice and smooth.
Dammit, stop reading my private Jacob/Ethan fanfics! Those are private!
Before or after he “Accidentally” catches his shirt on the door handle and it rips off?
“I always need a little help with my back though.”
“And my butt. Pay extra attention to my butt.”
So much for that plan
Ethan’s pants in the final panel are much less tented than I expected.
Fast use of the belt trick.
He’s gotten good at flexing his thigh muscles to make boners go away.
It’s a cartoon, no one actually has penises
There’s a Slipshine comic that would disagree with you on whether or not that applies to this cast.
You don’t even have to Slipshine. Walky points it at things.
Don’t forget the strip that named ‘Just Hangin’ Out With My Family’
Dump her. There are better options.
For a beard? Nope. That’s sadly all he is looking for, and it’s not something that will last for either one of them.
They’re both good people doing a VERY shitty thing.
He needs to wean off the beards. Next girl should be a moustache.
preferably a (also closeted) mustache rider. that way they can be co-beards!
Y’know … these days there are possibilities:
Bleaches only the front, top 4 teeth?
I’m pleased to note that thing is NOT using EV microphones!
You know, in this universe, I don’t think we’ve actually been given much evidence of Ethan being a good person. (I admit this view may be coloured by my utter eye-rolling boredness with the other universe Ethan.)
Define “good person”. I mean, if the standard of goodness requires beating up/taking down villians, then the only people who qualify are Amazi-girl, Sarah, Malaya/Marcie/Carla, maybe Danny and arguably Dina. (Huh. Longer list than I expected.) By a more normal standard of goodness, Ethan gets a lot of credit for not meaning any harm, and for not doing anything that’s likely to harm anyone but himself and maybe Joyce, who is both asking for it and complicit. And by refusing Joyce’s advances here, he’s actually doing her a favor: trying to use him as her lust toy would *not* work out well. So yeah. By my read he’s a good person. Just badly misguided and having a bad idea of what he should be doing in his life and relationships.
Hmm. On the other hand, he would be doing much more of a favour by breaking up with her, or for that matter with never trying to go out with her in the first place. Not intending harm is not the same thing as not doing harm; I’m willing to see characters as neutral, but I think I need a bit more active getting around to doing something decent to go so far as to qualify a character as “good”. Feeling mildly worried about Amber isn’t quite enough; the fact that his chances of helping Amber are fairly clearly wounded by his leading Joyce on (however open Joyce might think her eyes were going into this) isn’t doing him any favours.
It might not be super-awesome and hero-level goodness, but we havehad scenes where Ethan shows he cares about others and tries to do what’s good for them, like in te beginning where he and Mike were concerned about Amber’s severe computer-addiction and did an intervention where they literally dragged her out of her room just so she could get some fredh air and hopefully not miss out on having a life in college.
And later when he needed some guidance I seem to recall (but I could be wrong) he said he was reticent about going to Amber about it, because she had already helped himmagainst his horrible parents all summer, so he didn’t want to dump more stuff on her.
So despite being flawed like any human, he //has// shown that he has some good sides, that he cares about others and tries to do wht’s best for his friends. He’s just desperate and confused right now, having problems accepting himself, his parents hate who he turned out to be (which people often forget can be utterly devastating when you’re that young), and he feels these urges are ruining his whole life.
So sure, he’s making bad choices. Who doesn’t? At least he’s shown he wants to do hat’s best for those he cares about. Might not be impressivee but it’s enough to land him as “good guy” in my book.
Technically, Mike dragged her out of her chair. Ethan just stood by. Which essentially defines him: he stands by and then fits in to whatever last happened that he had nothing to do with. So still understandably passive, but not praiseworthily so.
Wait, are we forgetting that he wants to “date” Joyce as well? Remember, he said he wanted to be normal, he didn’t want to be the gay kid cause it’s too hard.
Joyce is fighting her trauma as well by ignoring it and jumping into a relationship that requires little to no physicality on her end cause she’s scared and confused by it. (her assault did not help, probably, maybe)
They’re both hurting/using each other. And I think they both kind of know it. Good or bad are kind of simplistic terms to be using in this instance because they’re both in this thing for “grey” reasons.
In this one case, certainly, he’s co-opted. But his whole pattern of behaviour doesn’t make anything better. There’s a limit to how many times he gets to mess things up “just because he’s confused” (or whatever) and still count as a good person. At what point do his decisions start dragging the balance towards negative results before we stop assuming he’s a nice guy?
We are not good people, and we want to believe that we are good people more badly than we want to be good people.
Jackson, this is possibly the most profound thing I have read.
Even though it says “more badly?”
The adverbial form of “worse” isn’t common, though. It might lead to confusion, and this sounds equally or even more natural.
Dissect it this way:
“I want it bad.” Sounds like you want “it” the opposite of good: “I want it [to be] bad.”
“I want it badly.” You want it in a bad way: the generally accepted slang for really wanting something.
“I want it more badly.” You want it in a bad way more so than some other thing.
So it makes sense, at least to me. There might be better ways to phrase that, but the message comes through either way.
Close, very close. I’d substitute “perfect”, though, for what most of us – self included – mean/think when we speak of “good.”
The only thing wrong with the last panel is that Ethan isn’t sporting a raging boner.
Maybe he’s just a lot smaller than we give him credit for.
So that’s another reason why Joyce should stop going out with Ethan then?
Nah he’s just really really good at hiding it.
No, no, its detachable, remember?
Or he’s a shower instead of a grower. He could keep our credit.
I’d say he reacted quick enough to avoid the stiffie.
That, and he doesn’t get which way the door opens.
Ethan break up with her immediately. Please?
What’s the opposite of a ship? A sinking? Are we fan-sinking this? Not that I feel differently from you at all.
an Anal Probe!
Hello? Is thing thing on?
A Torpedo? It’s an anti-ship, cause it sinks them. Torpedo that Ship! Torpedo it before it leaves dry dock.
Have I over abused the metaphor?
Absolutely not, muscular Jesus!
I kinda want him to crush her cuz I feel at this moment it’s the only way she’ll learn.
(not physically mind you)
I actually did think that for a second.
While I think Ethan deserves much better than to closet himself, he’s the exact thing Joyce needs right now – he’s never ever ever going to push her, so she can emerge from her trauma on her own time. Then again, humans shouldn’t exist solely for other humans to use as trauma extractors, and it seems like Joyce is already coming out of it anyway.
How long has it been since the incident in-universe, anyway?
And honestly, Ethan won’t come out of his own issues without an intervention. I really hope somebody(s) gives him one. And Joyce. QUICKLY.
Joyce does not need a boyfriend right now. She needs a nonthreatening sparkly vibrator and several months to a year of giving herself permission to use it. (Speaking from my own experience.)
Can you speak in greater detail about this experience? (just so the rest of us truly understand and can relate it to Joyce, of course!!)
At least two weeks since the assault, possibly three.
Was Jacob wearing a towel ’round his waist? Asking for a friend.
“Hey Man, Just figured since it’s just us guys here that I’d just kinda let it all hang out.”
This is a thing.
I will also be legitimately surprised if that could happen. I mean if sexual repression was explosives, Ethan could level hiroshima!
By modern day standards, the bombs that landed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki weren’t that big, scary as that fact may be. The largest bomb ever detonated to date was the Tsar Bomba, with a whopping 50 megaton detonation. The force of its blast was so large that its own fire ball, which was 5 miles in diameter, wasn’t able to touch the ground and was raised about 6 miles into the air. Supposedly from a distance of 100 miles away, it was seen as brighter than the sun.
That would be Joyce.
Source: My penis.
Isn’t your Source a bit biased, sir?
Well, he does tend to lean towards the right.
He is so wearing a towel. You can see it right there in frame.
Just scrolled up and re-read that “around his waist” was explicitly specified. I’ll slink away now.
“Man, if you got a phobia for glasses, just say so!”
I think Joyce is nearing meltdown in panel 3. Her mind is completely filled with images of pre-marital hanky panky.
Also, Ethan, weren’t you the one who said he was willing to date Joyce because she didn’t have sexual urges. I think you have your counter proof
Well, Joyce apparently likes gay guys, the Lord has a way to keep her safe.
My theory: she borrows Amber’s laptop for some reason, accidentally checks the history, and discovers yaoi.
She will NEVER be the same.
She’d better start studying now if she ever wants to be a pornlord when she’s older.
And becomes a hardcore Jacob/Ethan shipper. 😀
No, no, it “Jew guys”. After all, for about 16 hours, she had a thing for Joe, who is almost definitely not especially gay.
I don’t know which of these statements to believe!
Is it “Jew Guys” or “Jew Guys”??? <- UK quote use
No, no, it’s “Jew guys”. After all, for about 16 hours, she had a thing for Joe, who is almost definitely not especially gay.
depends on what kind of threesome he had last time
I think he looks like a black Clark Kent.
“Aaagh! Well, homework is overrated anyway. Maybe I’ll hit the gym!”
A dozen sweaty guys in the locker room are having a towel fight
“Aaagh! Okay, how about going to see a movie?”
Now showing: Rocky Horror remake starring Niel Patrick Harris as Frankenfurter and Taylor Lautner as Rocky.
“Aaagh! Maybe just a walk outside to clear my head.”
Suddenly Pride Parade!
“Oh, come on!“
“Well let’s see if Amber has some anime I can borrow”
Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure and Ouran School Host Club.
“Perhaps I should just go to sleep”
Que the gayest most sexual dream in the history of sleep.
What would the most sexual gay dream even involve? Batman wrestling with Harrison Ford in a tub of jello while “It’s Raining Men” plays in the background?
If you can imagine it, It’s not gay enough.
You’d be surprised how homoerotic my imagination can get.
I´m gonna be honest, I´m straight and that gave me a boner
I now dub thee TentMas!
A threesome with Billy Herrington, younger Harrison Ford (because he’s pretty much a grandpa nowadays) and Batman, while Cher’s Believe plays in the background. All three of them are oiled up. It happens in the locker room of a gym. Eventually, Jacob joins them.
Then Drew appears and ruins everything, as always.
Appropriate avatar is appropriate.
It’d be a porn version of “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.” http://youtu.be/4WgT9gy4zQA
Stupid sexy Jacob…
“… some days you just can’t get rid of a boner!”
It’s like the reverse of those teen movies, ‘cuz he becomes hotter when he *puts on* the glasses!
Willis’s glasses fetish is well established. I blame him and his comics for contaminating me.
It’s true! It used to be just Willis and Danny, but it seems that the glasses-fetish is spreading. Soon everyone on earth will love the geek chic.
Get outta there Ethan!
*intense orchestral music starts playing*
Willis has turned up the sexy so hard, he broke the dial.
But it goes up to 11.
Surely Joyce isn’t that naive?
How is she acting naive? From here that looks like barely-restrained horny, and she’s not fooling anyone about it.
How many 18-19 year old guys do you know (I’m assuming hes 18-19) would turn down sexy times? Is she really naive enough to think Ethans sexuality is a choice and therefore can be changed if he really wants to change?
Yes. Because that’s what she’s been taught and the only gay person she knows has decided to back up that belief.
Wow. That REALLY makes Ethan look like an asshole. Damn.
JACOB WITH GLASSES THO
“If you didn’t like the glasses you should have just said so”
Does this count as passing the reverse Bechdel test?
Jacob makes me feel bad about not working out.
My manboobs make me feel bad about not working out.
Good thing Joyce didn’t manage to look inside the room, she would have gone into overload XD
Does Jacob know about Ethan’s Sexual Orientation? He’s not acting like he is.
Probably not. Ethan’s basically been tellin errybody that he’s straight.
or rather, not telling them he’s gay and letting everyone assume he’s straight
And introducing his girlfriend around.
point, but multisexuality is a possibility there
obviously not with ethan, but heteronormativity is a thing
Well, Sarah’s caught on, and Dorothy might suspect something. So maybe it’s a guy thi- well, Billie hasn’t got it either.
Maybe Sarah’s just a really good detective.
After college she goes on to solve mystical crimes with a reanimated Edgar Allen Poe.
Maybe people who like girls can’t tell whether someone likes guys?
Joyce wants to speak in tongues…. If you know what I mean.
Ethan wants to avoid eating pork… If you know what I mean.
Here are your internets. Use them wisely.
Joyce seems to be channeling Strong Bad in that second panel, because that seriously sounds like something he’d say.
I was thinking it sounded like Walky.
Oh Joyce, those faces.
If you are not going to do anything together why do you even call it dating? I mean, kissing should be par for the course or at least some sort of show of affection? You are basically friends without benefits Ethan.
Believe it or not, there are people out there who want a relationship that doesn’t involve sex. You would call those people “asexual”. They want romance, just not sex. So it’s different then a friendship, because that’s platonic, not romantic.
true but I don’t think ethan’s hetroromantic either
Ethan and Joyce are definitely not asexual, though. If they were, there wouldn’t be a problem, they’d just live happily ever after, rarely think about sex again, and maybe have a nice slice of cake.
I know, but the other was saying “If you’re not going to do anything why call it dating”. I’ve seen that lobbed at many an asexual and I ju
Ah, I see what you mean now.
More often than not, the asexual without genetic gender issues, are more in need of a visit to a reproductive endocrinologist. If nothing else, their general health is at stake – from CVD to osteoporosis because of issues of the HPG axis and pituitary micro-adenoma. Really.
god, WHAT is it with you and reproductive endocrinologists? we don’t have hormone issues any more than sexuals do for being sexual! asexuality is an orientation just like any other orientation and has nothing to do with hormones. tell you what: i’ll go to a reproductive endocrinologist for being asexual (and, since you so kindly suggested it a few days ago, genderless) as soon as you go to one for YOUR sexuality and/or gender identity (- based on the probabilities, i’ll assume you’re heterosexual and cisgender). okay?!
Because I am an endocrine pharmacologist/toxicologist.
And I see wishful thinking on the part of patients and family all the time.
My reference the other day was assuming gender issues were not at play, not that one was ‘genderless’ – as I’ve only witnessed that in medical cretins.
in response to your first comment, there are asexuals who have gotten their hormones checked in case their “problem” could be “fixed.” in reality, their hormones were all normal and they were trying to fix something that wasn’t broken in the first place.
in response to your second comment, i probably should have asked for clarification. in gender discussions, “sex” and “gender” are two distinct things; sex is physical (like what genitals you have) and gender is mental (what gender you feel like). so a transperson’s sex would be distinct from their gender unless they transitioned. anyway, i’m assuming from your comment that you assumed i am sexless-which i am not. i am essentially genderless, meaning i don’t feel like any one gender- i don’t feel inherently gendered. as far as i know, that is not necessarily linked to hormone issues. of course, i could get my hormones checked, but i’m really happy the way i am and don’t want to change myself. again, why would i fix something that isn’t broken?
Very true. Also, my boyfriend and I went the first month of our relationship without kissing- not because we didn’t want to, but because I was young, and things were complicated, and etc etc. But by no means was the relationship we had for that first month or anytime afterward something that could plausibly be labeled “platonic.”
Yes, I know. THAT’s why I specified some sort of affection. My point was that Ethan and Joyce are just there not even being romantic.
I get it, there hasn’t to be kissing or sex or whatever you want for a couple to be, well, a couple. But there should be AT LEAST something different from your other friends.
They both want emotional intimacy very very much.
At the moment, they think that their best choice is a companionate marriage (that is, a marriage with all the support and partnership, but little or no sex), but obviously their libidos are not gonna let them do that.
Dating is different for those trying to avoid having sex with the people they are most attracted to. Do we kiss? Where do we stop? How much is too much? Arousal can be sneaky, and powerful, and brings self-deception with it-your body is trying to trick you, your genes are trying to get themselves replicated despite your protestations. If the chemistry is mutual, dating is a real minefield for the abstinent. Then, if you should fall, you feel terribly guilty for making love to the one you love. How fucked up is that? Better to either just welcome sex, or stay away from each other entirely. There is a certain mercy to the idea of separating the sexes if you are going to ask them to not fuck each other. Imagine Joyce in an all-girls school. So much easier, right? Until she gets curious about the other girls, that is.
Calm down,Ethan. He needs the glasses for his Mr. Terrific cosplay.
Their poor libidos.
As a straight man, Jason is DAMNED sexy right now and I think I may have felt a slight shift in my privates.
Err, I mean Jacob. Dang names.
I can respect that.
You know, I thought I was perfectly straight. Jacob is making me re-evaluate that assumption.
Is he leaning against a door that opens inwards?
He’s not holding is shut, he’s holding himself up.
And then Jacob opens the door and Ethen falls into his arms.
And the background becomes sparkles.
I hope Jacob knows Ethan is gay…
If Ethan wants to get past his crush on Jacob, all he needs to do is hear Jacob’s opinion that Spider-Man has better rogues than Batman. It stopped any potential crush in the Shortpacked! Universe after all. 😛
I hope Jacob and Ethan have sex. Really. I want an actual surprise bit of bisexuality revealed.
You know, people are complaining about Ethan not having a noticeable boner in the last panel, but honestly? He is pretty stiff.
Also, I like Ethan’s admission in the first panel that he’d never let Joyce’s tongue into his mouth. That would just be gross.
It wouldn’t be as bad if they both had hosted a tonsil dong during their lifetimes, but Ethan’s ahead of the curve by comparison! Especially those ButtDongs®!
Yes Dorothy definitly knows Ethan is gay. She tried to tell Joyce, who responded with ‘if that was true he would be carrying a Barbie not that toy soldier” or some such nonsense.
Several people know he’s gay, or strongly suspect it.
Joyce is just being Joyce: she can cure him if she rubs against him long enough, she just knows it.
As for how nice a guy Ethan is…he isn’t really.
He’s willing to use Joyce to cover his fears of being outted. And she’s just perfect for his beard.
He hurt (dang was it Amber or Dorothy he was with on prom night?) and told her he was gay while they were in bed at the motel. Hell of a shock when you love a guy and are all ready for ‘the big night’.
Then he rubbed her nose in his relationship with Joyce by kissing Joyce in front of her.
No not a really nice guy.
Sarah needs to really ‘lock Joyce in the closet with her sex toy”. Joyce at least is trying to comes to terms with the lousy job of brainwashing her parents/church put her through. Driving me nuts watching her, but she is trying.
Ethan just keeps hiding.
To be fair, it’s been strongly implied that Ethan only openly realised he was gay during prom night with Amber. Strongly implied, that is, that prom night went “Dammit it, can’t get it up… Oh. Damn. If I think about Mike guys I can. Umm, Amber, I just figured something out here…”
Ethan is a good person, but more deeply flawed than many seem to have picked up on yet. I don’t even think pairing him off with anyone would fix anything innately when the person he keeps fucking is himself.
Dorothy doesn’t know, she was kidding when she made her comment. It’s a running subplot that if Dorothy found out what was going on Joyce would be in serious trouble.
Does Jacob have a calendar with himself on?
I guess Jacob thinks his glasses are ugly THANKS A LOT ETHAN
(sigh) I was so hoping Ethan might finally acknowledge that this relationship is a bad idea. This storyline depresses me.
But the comments are one of the best in a while!
Holy crap, Jacob is hot as balls. No disclaimer, no defensiveness, no “I’m super straight for real tho” that is one sexy drawing.
No foolin’. Jacob is a good-looking guy!
This is SO gonna end in tears…
Ethan turned away from a shirtless guy?
I’m pretty sure that considering how hot Jacob is right now, he didn’t want to ruin his pants. BY MELTING, OF COURSE!
*Careless Whisper by George Michael plays in Panel 4*
Are you sure he knew how to dance in the first place? I don’t recall seeing him dancing…
Jacob + glasses = Clark Kent
Does this mean Jacob is actually Superman? If so, is this fact relevant to the comic-at-large?
Well he’s certainly a super man, if you catch my drift.
Jacob is Amazi-Girl.
Ethan: “Why me…?!”
Poor, conflicted Ethan.
At least he has some eye-candy!
Eye candy? Or is that “I can’t”-dy?
Just a mostly unrelated question: Does it happen that someone is romantically attracted to another gender than sexually? Cause I never heard of it, so I wonder if these two things are automatically coupled…
For anyone that happens upon this and also wonders, yes, it does happen, but it is unusual. I’ve never heard of someone being romantically attracted to one sex and sexually to the other, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens. More common is asexuals who are romantically attracted to one or more genders. But there are also biromantic monosexuals. Girls With Slingshots features a couple that is a homoromantic asexual and a biromantic heterosexual (Jamie and Erin)–oh, and they’re absolutely adorable.
And bisexual monoromantics. Forgot to mention those.
Could have been worse. Jacob and Joe could have been practicing greased wrestling or something.
Oh God Jacob in glasses at long last praise the lord.
Ahem. Need a NSFW treatment like that other characters have gotten for JacobxEthan. Dream sequence, whatever, don’t care, make it happen, Willis.
Girls with glasses are love. But dudes?
I don’t get it.
You look really cool with that, Jacob.
But since you’re just out the shower, won’t they get foggy ?
Oh wait, he probably was exercising.
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no san diego comic-con, the sorries
Who should get doodled inside Dumbing of Age Book 5?
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