Tomorrow, on Monday, there’s gonna be a new Slipshine comic from me, wherein two characters do sexings to each other! Hey, remember when Danny told Dorothy he and Amazi-Girl once did it upside-down from a grappling hook? Apparently most of you do, ‘cuz I kept on getting all these … requests. (from both outside and inside my home) So, well, here we go.
This grope on a rope is a very NSFW seventeen pages. Subscription up!
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WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
WHY DO YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH
Well, she willingly goes and attacks criminals, a dangerous job. So I guess she has some masochist tendencies.
“You have been found guilty of murder. I sentence you to ten years reading Youtube comments.”
“No!”
“On videos made by female gamers”
“NOOOO!”
“Women POCs”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
But *only Presidents* should be allowed on the currency! Especially Presidents Hamilton and Franklin, they were the best!
They were going to take Hamilton off the ten, but then they made that musical and everyone realized what a great president he was! Sure, he may have shot that Reynolds guy in a duel, but as his defense lawyer Aaron Burr pointed out, “is it wrong to be jealous of a poor man’s wife if she begins to live a whore’s life? When a woman cheats, do you leave her life beneath the sheets alone when she comes home with someone on the side? This homicide is justified, so take your time and just decide: Would you let it slide? You should know how to say no to this: No! No!”
Anyway, Hamilton isn’t in theaters around here, so I haven’t seen the movie yet. I hear it’s only playing in the Greatest Little City in the World, which I think is Reno? So I might have gotten some facts mixed up
#culturalilliteracy
(This was pretty fun to write XD)
Hey, some (admittedly smaller) YouTube channels run by female gamers have a non-hateful fan base. But for larger channels run by female gamers, I’m pretty sure being forced to read the comments section is against the Geneva Convention.
If you ever need to know why feminism has to exist, just read the comments on absolutely any article/video about feminism.
I once knew a guy who used you tube comments to help advertise his pepper spray.
“After reading these comments, you probably feel like being blinded by some kind of chemical spray! Well, good news!”
“Now available in Jalapeño and Ghost Pepper flavors!”
Yeah. Not gonna lie, seeing some of that shit that gets posted in those comments make me a little ashamed to be a guy. I just don’t understand where that level of misogynistic hate comes from.
And, that’s on a video about wood joints.
Used to be saying stuff like that about a woman – or even in general could get a guy challenged to a duel, with the stabbing and the shooting and the glayvin! Nowadays we let them live, to pass on their beliefs like mutated DNA. That’s what I blame it on, anyway.
Yeah, but that largely stemmed from women being seen as property to be defended, rather than people to be respected. A proper solution would be allowing the women today to challenge said men to a duel. And before attempting to fire, the offender must take a shot of liquor for every misogynistic comment, so that their figurative blindness can be somewhat more literal.
I get confused by the guys that read those horrible comments, call the commenter out on being way out of line, but then later in the discussion can’t understand (and often get really mad about it) when some women say that they’re leery of and cautious around all men that they don’t know well.
I’ve seen that dynamic many times.
Always something like:
Nice guy (NG): But I’m a nice guy. If you ran in to me on the street you’d have no reason to be scared of me.
Every Woman in the Comments (EWC): Okay, but if I run in to you on the street, I have absolutely no way of knowing if you’re a threat or not. So I have to treat every stranger, or even acquaintance, as if they have the potential to be a threat to me.
NG: But it’s obvious that I’m a nice guy. I hold doors open for women and shit. Predators don’t do that.
EWC: You just saw first hand how some men react if we don’t conform to their idea of perfect femininity and/or if they feel like we’re attacking or challenging their masculinity. If they react with threats of violence or rape online, we have to be even more careful if we’re face-to-face with someone who might be like that.
NG: but I’m not like that. You can’t paint us all with the same brush just because a few guys are rude.
EWC: *collective facepalm*
It’s a case of not seeing it, mainly.
When you work with a more professional/mostly already married crowd and spend your free time with the same crowd, you see relatively few people act out of line. If that sort of thing makes up a majority of your interactions with other people, it’s natural to think “Oh, most people are good people”, and think of the occasional asshole showing up as an odd occurrence that is quickly shut down by the ever-present crowd of mostly good people.
So if you see people acting out of line as a rare occurrence, you’d look at someone who treats everyone as a threat a bit odd. “I’ve seen one bad person in the last hundred people I’ve had to deal with, why is this person so worried?”.
I admit, I think this on occasion. Then I think back to when I worked a customer service job, and remember that the small segment of the population I interact with nowadays is in no way indicative of the majority of people.
So yeah. When you spend all your time in environments where everyone trusts each other, it’s easy to forget that not everywhere is that safe.
👉⛪
I’ve yet to see any. I know one that’s run by a transgender woman who gets almost nothing but hate.
Pretty sure that crosses the “cruel and unusual” line.
This is the same thing I did when I first got glasses in High School. The 2d run theater by my house was showing Star Wars:ANH and I went to go see it. That opening scene when the Star Destroyer glides across the screen? I suddenly remembered my new glasses and put them on.
WOW. The detail that popped out at me! I spent the next minute doing what Amber’s doing here!
Star Wars:ANH? Just say “Star Wars”
This was way back in… 1979? 1980? Didn’t want someone to think I was referring to a more recent movie. Although, I don’t even remember if it was called “A New Hope” yet; might’ve still just been “Star Wars” at that time. I know it came out in 1977, but don’t remember when Empire came out. 1980? 82? Seems too long between movies, but… *shrug* (don’t care enough to look it up)
By 1980, it certainly was, since Empire was out/about to come out. Before that…I’m 99% sure it was added in the 1978 rerelease.
I don’t think so – the original release of ‘Star Wars’ was entitled simply that. The only place the ‘A New Hope’ was mentioned was in the scrolling text at the beginning of the movie. The movie only officially started being called ‘A New Hope’ was after the first digital re-master was done – 90’s, I think?
No, it was simply Star Wars in 1977.
The addition of ‘A New Hope’ to the scroll was, in fact, adding that as the subtitle. Thus being in the exact same place that the subtitles of Empire and Return are.
That’s entirely subjective. Many people weren’t from that generation. I know about it (from my dad), but due to my generation, from hearing someone say “Star Wars” my mind goes to the entire movie franchise, not A New Hope (despite being the actual first Star Wars movie produced). People need to speak to convey information to their audience, no to subject them to their own historical biases.
Speaking to the audience is the best approach, but it’s difficult if there are cultural differences you’re unaware of. I’m from Lucas’s generation, one of those who didn’t grow up using the phrase as you describe. To me, ‘Star Wars’ has always meant the first movie produced, and only the subsequent ones require individual identification. (Same deal with ‘Star Trek’; to me that phrase with no modifiers means Shatner, Nimoy, Kelley, etc.) Until your post, it never occurred to me others would use it to refer to the entire series.
You can’t compensate for differences if you don’t know they exist.
I’ve grown up watching Star Trek: The New Generation, so to me “Star Trek” has two meanings: one being TGN and two being the entire series. However, for years I had no idea TGN was named anything else besides ‘Star Trek’ – mostly because I watched it dubbed in German or subbed in Romanian, both of which either didn’t bother using the full name or I was just too small to notice it… somehow. I found out much later, after watching Deep Space 9 that the first series I watched was actually named TGN – heck, I didn’t realize there was an even older series until mid-way into watching TGN. I even assumed it was a prequel of sorts and for years still considered TGN as ‘the original’ Star Trek – this was all before the spread of the Internet and none of my friends really knew more about the subject then I did.
It’s interesting how these biases are built, eh?
TGN? I have no idea what you are talking about!
A google search only comes up with “the next generation” and TNG as an abbreviation.
Give him a break, he wasn’t watching it in English. The acronym could well be different in other countries/languages.
For example: Most Romance tongues, including Romanian (at least according to Google Translate, so don’t quote me on that), put the adjective after the noun. I was planning on commenting on that very thing earlier, but decided against it.
My assumption also. (“El Generacion Novo”, or whatever.)
Or he is a Yoda fan.
I am old enough that I remember when “Star Wars – ANH” was just “Star Wars!” I actually saw a slide show a year earlier when I went to a “Star Trek” convention! Yes, I am that old.
I first got glasses in 3rd grade and it was quickly apparent that I’d needed them a long time before that (SO many fights with my mother over her telling me to pick up x, y, z and me saying I didn’t see an x, y, or z anywhere. Then her yelling at me for lying and being lazy.).
When my dad and I got home, dad parked on the street in front of the house, and I put on my glasses as soon as he stopped.
Then I screamed so loud it was a miracle I hadn’t given dad a heart attack. I started freaking out and doing the glasses on, glasses off thing.
I started yelling that I could see each individual brick on the front of the house.
Then realized I could see the individual plants in the flower bed rather than just a mass of green with bits of blue or yellow here and there.
Then I freaked out because I could see the individual leaves and branches in our ash tree.
I kept asking dad if it was normal to see those things from so far away. And if he was *sure* it was normal. I’d never seen those things without being a couple of inches away.
It was actually hard to get used to.
Though, now I feel naked without my glasses. Along with feeling very… how do I describe it? Helpless? Vulnerable? I hate not having them for even a couple of minutes.
I legit got glasses when it started to feel like I needed them BECAUSE my face felt naked without them.
I started cosplaying (with full head covering) for a similar reason.
(haha almost typoed naked as baked… funny thing is cosplaying can make you feel baked)
That’s the dehydration!
There was a book – I think it was The Glass Castle (good book, but a traumatic read, and I didn’t even grow up with abusive parents) – where one of the girls gets a much-needed pair of glasses, and is raving to her sister about how awesome they are “I can see the leaves on the tree!” Her sister is unimpressed. “No, the actual individual leaves, not just the mass of green.” It is at this point that the sister with the vision problems realises just how crappy her eyesight is, and how much she missed out on because her parents didn’t get her glasses sooner.
I’m gonna check out that book, traumatic read or not. My first mind-blowing glasses-wearing experience was exactly that of “Holy Shite! The trees are made of millions of tiny leaves; they’re not just big green blobs!” Also, I survived a very abusive childhood and youth and after years of denying it, I’ve found that now I benefit from reading the experiences of others.
tl:dr Thank you for the book recommendation. And, yeah, trees ARE a trip for someone who is first experiencing the magic of glasses.
I’m going to check it out too.
I grew up with one abusive parent. Never physically abusive, but quite a bit of emotional abuse. Lots of insults, telling me I’m worthless, so very much gas lighting.
Even with the glasses, I found out later that the school had been telling my mother that I needed glasses since kindergarten. She would tell them they were full of it and hang up on them.
The reason I got glasses when I did was because my dad had lived out-of-state (my parents divorced when I was a toddler) up until the tail end of that year. Apparently my teacher and the principal jumped on the chance that my dad might care more than my mother did.
Once I got the glasses mom yelled at dad, telling him he was an idiot and wasted a lot of time and money. She was convinced that I faked having bad eyesight because I thought glasses looked cool, and because I enjoyed wasting her money.
She also couldn’t understand why dad hadn’t taken me to the drug store and gotten me a pair of those $5 reading glasses off the rack. Even though I’m near-sighted.
I like to think she’s taken to that scene from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. The one where thy get the list of haters’ addresses then begin a beatdown on EVERY single one of them. “You trashed my fanfiction. I liked writing it. Enjoy the boot of justice.”
“I READ IT
I CAN’T UNREAD IT”
That would have been a good line for the alt text too.
It does say website comments. Like, say, this one.
Why does she hate herself? She’s the kind of bongo that will make herself wear glasses and then look at internet websites.
*takes off glasses*
All better!
Why is every fan but me an idiot
The average person is an idiot. Fifty percent of people are Youtube commenters.
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” – George Carlin.
So stupid that a lot of them don’t know the difference between an average and a median!
That’s just mean! Or is it mode…
How has no one high fived you for this?
*high five “
See, now you’re one of the outliers.
If intelligence follows a Gaussian distribution (IQ does, but it is not equivalent to intelligence…), then the average and median are equal.
People get them confused? The differences is, averages aren’t used to separate lanes of traffic.
That’s a very cynical statement that assholes like to make in order to feel superior to others.
Doesn’t make it any less objectively true.
It also tends to be supported by practical evidence.
Hurray, cynicism!
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” George Bernard Shaw seems to sum it up quite nicely
It also helps to keep facts like that in mind when you’re in a job that requires you to explain complicated stuff to everybody. In that context, George Carlin’s remark is equivalent to: “Keep it simple, stupid!”
Context? No! A pedantic insistence on literalism (and literal pedanticism) is the order of the day!
I wish the only way to read that was as a joke.
On the other hand: the insistence on literalism is part of the context.
Now to find a way to work with that.
Things have only gotten worse with the widespread adoption of smartphones. Now every other idiot is either talking, texting, or watching something on their perpetual entertainment machine while they go about their day, oblivious as to where they’re going and who they’re crashing into.
hence the phrase, “smartphones make you dumb.”
then again, we’ve been offloading portions of our memory, cognition, etc onto objects since the invention of writing, the abacus, et al.
Someone on the internet is wrong!!
Beware. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Well the only reason we’re staring into the abyss is because we forgot our glasses and are trying to figure out what the hell it is that we’re staring at >.>
The abyss was not prepared for less then perfect vision.
Silly abyss, you can’t gaze into me if I don’t wear my glasses!
webcomic comments are still……. (insert word here)
Meta.
Beta.
Alpha?
Centauri.
Bed goes up, bed goes down! Bed goes up, bed goes down! #AmberIsHomer
“Criticisms are legible!”
So that’s why Amazi-Girl is immune to criticism! She can’t read it!
I hadn’t thought of that.
It’s a non-prescription mask!
*tries to avoid the cliche songs*
Hmmm.
Step right up and don’t be shy
‘Cause you will not believe your eyes!
She’s right here behind the glass
You’re gonna like her, ’cause she’s got class!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RuJv9i0BWA
Wrong one?
Right one!
Uh-oh, Amber can read the comments again.
I thought she was breaking the Fourth Wall there for a moment, then I realised that she was looking at her phone. She might be, as in today’s Precocious http://www.precociouscomic.com/archive/comic/2016/04/24, doing the “I’m not touching you” bit to the 4th wall though.
Oh good, I’m not the only one who does that when I get new glasses!
What, read comments? That is a sub-optimal way to use new glasses
I do that too! Flipping them on and off is the best part of a new pair!
dunno, i think seeing oncoming traffic is pretty cool too
☻/
/▌
/\
this is bob copy and paste him so he can take over the dumbing of age comments section!!!
Had you tried that with a gravatar pic it might’ve worked, but no.
OH GOD ITS SPREADING!
NO! BOB WILL NOT RETURN, I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO TAKE HOLD AGAIN!
Ana, Plasma, and other commentators I do this for you.
And yes, even for you Willis.
I thought this Bob thing was replaced with a spooky skeleton or something. Youtube comments are so weird.
(_Y_)
This is a butt. Why don’t you copy and paste that instead. Make the world a little more callipygian, one comments thread at a time.
Looks more like boobs than a butt.
Nah, this would be boobs: ( . Y . )
SIMILAR, yet distinct. Art at it’s finest.
That looks more like some really weird eyes.
Your feeble ASCII posterior has no power here, we already have terminal Butts Disease.
Bittersweet context.
it doesn’t matter what site you are on. comments section is not to be trusted
Can I trust you on this?
Well played
Sun is blinding and blurry… sun is ARGH JESUS THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!
The future’s so bright…
Hmm. Fuzzy pink blobs. Glasses on. “Oh, this is a porn website”
Well hey, we’re not gonna judge your bizarre fuzzy-pink-blob fetish.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Amber was on Slipshine
also, if she was reading the website =D
Sorry Willis, but of all the absurd things you’ve asked us to suspend disbelief for in this comic, I have to draw the line at that case storing those glasses.
Yeah man. Those glasses kill the entire comic for me!
0/10 I quit.
Glasses Case of Holding
As long as we keep it all in perspective.
What are you talking about? It’s just further away from the camera. And, um, one of her hands is a lot bigger than the other….
Would you believe spring-loaded foldable glasses?
It’s called ‘perspective’. She’s holding the case further away than the glasses, so they look bigger.
Amber has a nine foot armspan, right?
No. No she does not.
Panel 1 can be explained by perspective, but Panel 2 and the others requires some careful review of how physics and proportion working in the Dumbingverse.
You see, all the characters have eyes seem absurdly large for their heads. Some might think that this is a result of eyelids not being drawn most of the time, but I’ve uncovered the truth.
Just like eyes often appear enlarged when a person is wearing glasses, the area AROUND the eyes for EVERYONE in the Dumbingverse appears larger due to some sort of gravitational lensing effect centered on those eyes. Thus, glasses appear to be larger as well. The border of this distortion reaches into the uncanny valley, to the point where someone raising their eyebrows in surprise can even result in the illusion that the eyebrows separate from their face.
WHY does this strange optical phenomenon occur? Willis hasn’t revealed it yet, but I’m guessing it’s the cause of an above-average rate of characters needing glasses or contacts.
I’m sure he’s scoured google streetview for examples.
Maybe we can get Beekman to guest comment on DoA physics like Dr. Tyson does on Cinema Sins.
And in what world to people walk around outlined in black lines?
I’m pretty sure they work the same way as a TARDIS. In some spectacle-wearing incarnation, The Doctor may have dropped them.
… Yeah.
I am pretty badly near-sighted. Bad enough that I don’t want to walk anywhere without my glasses and am not allowed to drive without my glasses (not that I would want to!) because I can’t see things like pot holes and divots and small floor-colored things on the floor. Because I’m always wearing glasses, I tend to forget how bad my vision is.
Annnd then I break my glasses somehow and spend a week without them and I’m like, “I REMEMBER NOW.”
I recently had to have my vision tested for the university’s laser operator certification. As part of the vision test I had to read letters from about 40 or so feet away (since it was so far away, it was out in the hallway). I could only (barely) see the very largest row, and the woman giving me the test kept asking me if I was sure. A woman at the reception desk overheard us and yelled at her, “just put down 20:200 for both eyes already!”
So apparently my vision without glasses is so bad it’s off their chart.
I’m in the same boat.
Feh. That big E at the top disappeared decades ago. This is part of the reason I was wearing bifocals at 12. Fortunately, my eyes are no longer getting drastically worse every six months, so I’m back to single vision lenses now.
At least you could find the chart. My first Army test without my glasses the doctor clicked the slide in and said read the smallest line I said OK and just sat there because I couldn’t see anything. Then I got yelled at for not following orders. 😛
If I ever broke my glasses I could pretty much stay home while I wait for new ones. I can’t function without glasses.
That’s why my wife always keeps her last pair, separate from the newest one.
Me too. If I put a book very, very close to my face, I can read so at least I wouldn’t get antsy with boredom, but I can’t walk anywhere, I can’t drive (I can’t even see where the yellow line is without my glasses – I see a fuzzy region of faintly yellowish grey, somewhere in which is the yellow line), I can’t work, I can only use a computer if my face is literally so close to the screen my nose touches, I could go on.
Thank goodness they glasses were invented – for $350 and wearing framed bits of specially-molded plexiglass on my face, I can go from functionally blind to almost-normal vision (my prescription is strong enough that I get spectral bleed, so I have very thin little rainbows around dark things on light backgrounds, and the outer edges of my vision tends to get distorted, but both are annoying rather than debilitating).
Uhoh, Amber can read what we’re saying now
Her new glasses can see through walls, fourth walls!
SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SLIPSHINE! RUN WILLIS! RUN!
Quick! We need Yotomoe to distract her with lewd drawings! It’s for the good of the strip!
Well now your just baiting him
This is a girl who was willing to fuck on a rope outside, she does not seem terrible considered with privacy.
amazi-girl isn’t but amber would be!
Hahaha, oh those website commenters!
…heeeeeeeeeeey >:c
I wonder if this is a knock at us? Nah. Willis loves us!
Well, most of us. Although the vast majority of the commenters who are complete jackasses have either left or been blocked. For which we should thank Willis.
I’m still here!
I’m a jackass, but I’m a sleeper agent.
To be fair, I can be an enormous jackass at times.
Except for the haters. And the trolls. And the misogynists. And people who say ‘bongo’. And people who use ‘strawman’ incorrectly (aka all of them). And… I know there’s more, but that’s all I can remember right now.
Sounds like Willis is speaking from experience with his comic sites.
Yeah sure readable…That’s unless you count the ones that will piss you off completely the moment when you read them.
LOL. Meta.
Oh dear god not internet comments! Those can cause one unmeasurable amounts of trauma. Run from the bigotry den of the hate wolfs, Amber! Run!
Her glasses case is clearly Gallifreyan in origin… it’s bigger on the inside. 😛
Time And Relative Dimensions In Glasses Case.
Time And Relative Dimension In Spectacles?
No, wait, Spectacle-cases, I guess. Hyphenating words is kind of an iffy way to make an acronym work, but that’s all I’ve got.
TARDISC!
Amber for next companion! (after this cute new one is done)
Much as I love Amber, my favorite companion will always be Ace.
Same! (Okay so it’s mostly a pileup between her, Tegan, Nyssa, and Adric but STILL)
*high fives*
Speaking as someone who wears glasses, I’m always surprised by how crisp and clear everything looks after I clean them.
I don’t bother cleaning mine. They just get dirty again anyway.
I’ve noticed that.
“Oh, hey, an article on changing Passover traditions in the Conservative movement.”
“*Oh G-d why did I read the comments!*”
The last panel. It’s looking at us.
As someone who is rediciously nearsighted, (As in I need to line my chin up with the edge of my laptop to actully see the screen cleary) I know exactly how she feels.
at first i thought Amber was blatantly breaking the fourth wall and looking right down into the real comments section. then i put my glasses back on and realized she was just leaning on the wall instead.
I’ve done the same sorta thing Amber’s doing when I first got glasses. I never wore glasses for like the first 16 years of my life because I was to stubborn to admit that I needed them until I went to go get my driver’s permit and had to take the eye test and they told me I had to get glasses before they would issue a permit for me. Once I got my glasses, I spent the next 20 minutes taking them off and putting them back on to compare how clear everything was with them on.
I don’t know how Amber feels. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 4 years old. And I keep a pair of the $9 specials from the $ Store around the house -just in case. They may not be right on Rx, but they let me make do till new ones in.
I do know how Kernanator feels, after I clean my glasses I can’t believe how well I can see thru them, again.
You want something scary. Take your teenager for new glasses and then for her driving test and have her say: ‘wow, now I can read the road signs’.
Or you can drive with your middle-aged parents at night, as they remark how incredibly terrible their night vision has become.
I’m 30 and have no need for glasses yet. I don’t know how y’all even handle it.
I got my first pair around age 45. It’s easy to handle when you realize how tired you’ve become of not being able to see clearly.
Don’t screw with having to tote around a pair of drug store reading glasses unless that’s absolutely all you can afford. Get something you can wear full-time. That way, it’s easier to get in the habit of putting them on first thing in the morning and not have to mess with remembering where you left them, if you have them with you, maybe they’re still in the car, etc.
The first few days, don’t try to wear them continuously. Wear them for a couple of hours, adding an additional hour or so every other day. Otherwise you may get an exquisite headache, or an even more enjoyable case of vertigo when you finally take them off.
eh, the shape is enough, as long as you don’t need directions
I’ve needed glasses since I was about four but only had them since I was about 11.
Funny story: One of the attributes autism gives me is the ability to remember useless strings of information. I have the script of the original trilogy of Star Wars memorized, I remember long passages verbatim from books I’ve read, on more than one exam in high school, I was able to cite my sources from memory to the exact page number (and that was something that I was strongly advised to stop doing in first year after I was hauled into one of my professors’ offices because they thought I’d cheated and then discovered that no, I just have that good of a visual memory. I’d thought I was just giving a more-correct number), I remember random license plates I’ve seen – not eidetic because it’s not perfect, but I remember a lot of random stuff. Like optometrist vision charts.
One of the weaknesses it gives me is a tendency to be hyper-literal. When asked to ride into the side of the garage as a kid, I did exactly that and bloodied my nose, for example.
Thus when I was asked, “What is the smallest row on the chart?” I would recite it from memory. Not being a brat or anything, but because it simply did not occur to me that he was looking for the smallest row I could still see.
Nobody realized until they changed the chart when I was 11. Suddenly my complaints about not being able to see the black board in class made a lot more sense. The optometrist has since changed the question he asks kids from, “What’s the smallest row?” to “What’s the smallest row you can see?”
Possible Danny lines from the slipshine
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit
I am both cold and terrified!
Now I’m confused on whether Ambers near or far sighted. If she was near sited wouldn’t she not need the glasses to read comments?
As someone who is extremely nearsighted, my computer is sitting on my chest. If i didn’t have my contacts in, I would have trouble reading your comment.
Question is, if Amber’s eyes are that bad, how the hell is she superheroing?
It doesn’t take much clarity to tell which blurry shape to punch unless all the blurry shapes are dressed very similarly.
So Amazi-Girl is in big trouble if she has to beat up a herd of zebras?
Depends on exactly how near-sighted she is. I too am nearsighted and wear bifocals, but because I don’t like to sit at the computer with my head cocked back to look through the bottom of the lenses I take them off and set them off to one side for close-up work.
Trifocals. Problem solved, nerd quotient leveled up.
If things are blurry both close up and at a distance, she may have an astigmatism. The lens(es) of the eye is/are “stretched” too tensely in one direction, distorting everything regardless of distance. It’s also possible to be astigmatic AND either near- or far-sighted, which just makes one range worse than the other.
As someone with a moderate astigmatism, I find that without my glasses, I can still drive fine or read a book, but I have difficulty reading street signs until I’m right on top of them, and book/computer reading gives me a headache pretty quickly. With glasses, suddenly trees have leaves, instead of big fuzzy blobs of green colors! And now that sign says J-11, instead of [fuzzy-]J-1.
As someone with a severe astigmatism (I have to wear special contacts to correct it, normal astigmatism toric lenses can’t), I know that feels! The astigmatism in both my eyes is at drastically different angle,so I almost see two blurry images of things. Just awful.
I believe Amber said she just has astigmatism.
As I said in a previous comment, I have to put my chin on the edge of my laptop to be able to see the screen cleary. It’s possible to be that nearsighted that almost everything is a little blurry (With distant things being just blobs) that you need them to see anything of value.
Amber explained this.
Is that reaction autobiographical?
Aww, seconding.
Because my immediate thought was “Damn, I’m sorry, Willis.”
The entirety of my sophomore year of high school, Why is the board so fuzzy and why do my eyes always hurt!
Luckily I have glasses now, my grades have improved substantially.
In the second panel, when she says “I can read signs again”, I immediately thought she was referring to sign language — then remembered that it was Sal and Marcie who communicate between each other with AMSLAN.
But that does raise the question — is there anyone else in the DoA cast who can read/understand sign? My headcanon is that Amber would be the most likely candidate of any of them.
I’d assume Dorothy would know because of course she would.
I can imagine her learning them just because it’s something that Amazi-girl might find useful at some point.
Malaya was tranig to learn. Results seem to be mixed…
Amazi-Girl spent years training to be the best at sign language.
But she never uses it, because she also speaks the universal language of violence.
Quick, what’s AMSLAM for ‘fist to the face’?
When I first got my glasses, I basically walked around doing this everywhere I went. It truly is spectacular having good vision when you’re so used to bad.
I am 100% okay with a strip made up 100% of Amber
As someone who is quite near-sighted and has worn glasses for over ten years, it always baffles me when people need glasses, and they have glasses, but then they choose not to wear them. I always have to remind myself that their eyesight is probably not as bad as mine if they can put up with the blurriness.
(This doesn’t really have to do with Amber specifically, since she does actually wear her glasses when she’s not Amazi-Girl.)
Likewise. Most people who have glasses don’t realise just how bad my eyesight is, even when they see how thick the lenses are. (And you can see how thick the lenses are, because they don’t quite fit in the frames.)
Actual conversation with my mum, on one occasion when I broke my glasses:
“So how much of that sign can you read?”
“How much of what sign can I read?”
Same.
I have a system of where I put my glasses on the rare occasions I need to take themy off – because if I don’t know where I put them, I wind up in the utterly humiliating experience of groping around for them, hoping my hands bump into them through luck.
I was finally able to afford hearing aids a few months ago. As expensive as they are, I’m even more baffled by those who have purchased them but don’t wear them.
But I still have all my own teeth.
“Yes,” said Queen Lucy. “In our world too, a glasses case once had something inside it that was bigger than the whole world.”
“Don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.”
And it doesn’t matter how many ‘male enhancement’ pills he takes, he still won’t take out the garbage, cook dinner, or put the toilet seat down.
Just don’t break ’em.
She’s already had her “Time Enough at Last” moment, here.
I wonder what webpage she’s reading. Is there an Amazi-girl website?
Two things have occurred to Amber here:
1) Maybe her life needs a bit more stimulation if road signs and website comments are the frontiers of experience for her;
2) Holy CHEESE but it didn’t take too long to forget just how stupid a lot of comments threads get almost immediately!
Nah those were just the two closest things she could test her sight on.
Yeah this is pretty standard “I just got glasses!”
I had to read the comments to notice Amber might just be side eyeing the comments on a website and not be realizing how silly what she was doing was haha
Also, thanks to the comments, I think I may notice the astigmatism in my right eye now?
The last time my glasses broke this was almost my exact reaction when I got new ones.
Website comments are blurred
Website comments are readable
Faith in humanity is intact
Faith in humanity is gone
A blurred humanity is a beautiful one 😀
I prefer evidence in humanity. As in, we are literally genetically some fraction of a percent off monkeys, what were you expecting?
But yeah, if website comments are what shatter your views, you haven’t been reading the news I guess. National or international.
And suddenly a credible argument for living without one’s glasses appears.
If these glasses fit in here, then DoA is as much SF as It’s Walky!, and I expect that Head Alien will show up in the next strip.
If anyone doubts those glasses fit in that case, clearly they’ve never heard of size ratio based on distance from perspective.
Except, as I pointed out cheekily in my comment, both her hands are the same size, meaning they are equally close to the viewer.
That is a very Dina thing to say, so that fits I guess 😀
However, if we are going to make the distance/size argument, then surely the hand holding the glasses would need to be larger than the one holding the case. So yeah, there is that
Whoops, trickly was faster D:
Love that misspelling, actually. I may want to use it. I’ve always pronounced it more like turlk-lee.
(I chose my name long ago because it has no vowels. Mostly so it’s never taken on any website. And it grew on me.)
Reminds me muchly of life-drawing classes … the fingers … why are there so many fingers?
YES. SO MUCH YES.
I’ve been wearing glasses since 2nd grade, but it wasn’t until I got contacts in middle school that I really felt like I was able to see the world around me. I don’t know why, but whenever I wear my glasses instead of my contacts, I just feel more clumsy and less attentive.
Which makes me wonder something: with all the superheroing that Amber does, why doesn’t she wear contacts? Sure, it’d be a little more expensive (depending on the quality) and it’d be a little more fussing around with solution and storage, but at least she wouldn’t have to worry about her glasses breaking in her pocket or be delivering (literal) blind justice.
Just curious if there’s a reason for it, or if it just never occurred to anyone.
For one, the glasses on/glasses off thing actually makes her secret identity harder to recognize, since when you’re used to seeing someone wearing glasses, seeing them without can make it incredibly hard to realize who they are; mix that with the mask, ruffled hair and costume, and very few people could actually tell.
A lot of small changes, when added up, can make somebody unrecognisable.
The other thing is, I suspect she actually uses contacts while wearing the costume, otherwise, as you said, she’d probably have an hard time actually fighting and doing things (that depends on how bad her eyesight is, but not being able to tell clearly what’s in front of you is very bad when you’re punching people and jumping across highways).
All she has is astigmatism. Otherwise it’s good eyesight. So it’s something she can do without fairly easily.
“Website comments are readable!”
“…”
*removes glasses*
“Much better.”
Wait….this isn’t the hardcore yaoi porn I thought it was…
Is… Is Amber mocking us?
She’s probably reading the comments on some of her and Danny’s recent strips.
I wonder how the cast would react to reading comments about them.
I imagine Roz would be ecstatic that she inspired a new swear word.
Cataracts without glasses – nothing’s readable and the colors are wrong. Cataracts with glasses – some things are readable (depends on which eye you close and how close it is) and the colors are still wrong. Web comments with/without cataracts and/or with/without glasses – better than most people will admit and entertaining if you keep the right frame of mind.
Mmmmaybe they’re made of… soft glass. Yes. I have decided that is at thing.
Yeah, this has to be about Plebcomics
you are aware i drew this strip on fucking january 29, like over THREE MONTHS AGO, right
keep that garbage off my website
My apologies!
I only read comments on two sites: this one and a Green Bay Packer site. Ask Vic gets 1000 comments daily and is remarkably polite and conversational. I appreciate just how remarkable it is that those sites don’t have cesspits attached.
Most likely, both sites are just vigorously moderated. I know this one is.
…that sounded far less suggestive in my head.
When you put it like that, I see Catherine Zeta Jones in a confession booth.
(Also, I agree.)
Wait, what? THE CHEESE.
Hi Amber!