Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 22, 2026

Penis

by David M Willis on January 14, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Men are from Beck, Women are from Clark
└ Tags: joe, sarah

Discussion (117) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    January 14, 2011 at 12:01 am | #

    she already knows him so well

  2. Cratacon
    Cratacon
    January 14, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    He’s serious. He’s going to Joe her with his penis.

    • Bickendan
      Bickendan
      January 14, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      Just rename it to his Joe.

      Joe is gonna Joe Joyce with his Joe.

      • Gianni
        Gianni
        January 14, 2011 at 1:21 am | #

        But would he Joe her in the butt? Tune in next week!

        • Lis
          Lis
          June 15, 2011 at 11:58 pm | #

          Not if Mike Mike’s her first

          • Garth
            Garth
            September 25, 2012 at 12:58 pm | #

            There is a word in the english language ‘jigger’ that has 21 meanings, including whisky glass, penis, vagina, bumhole and Ouija board
            he shall put his jigger in her jigger

            • Hinoron
              Hinoron
              December 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm | #

              Also used as a term for the hand-pumped forklift substitute used in warehouses to move pallets of stock around. There may be an official term for the thing, but no one I’d ever worked with knew it if so.

              • Rogue of Space
                Rogue of Space
                June 25, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

                It’s called a pallet jack

                • Dana
                  Dana
                  March 25, 2015 at 9:02 pm | #

                  Hand truck also works.

    • Hinoron
      Hinoron
      July 15, 2013 at 6:26 pm | #

      Strangely enough, his philosophy will probably lead to more personal growth on Joyce’s part than hers.

      Shame our culture is so fixated on the opposite.

  3. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    January 14, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnisface

    • Cholma
      Cholma
      January 14, 2011 at 12:21 am | #

      Don’t you mean, Puh-puh-puh-penis Face? Everyone can read his Puh-puh-puh-penis Face. ;p

  4. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    January 14, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    It’d be funny if Joyce gives him a lecture on the bible so long he can’t get it up.

    • Cratacon
      Cratacon
      January 14, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s be the first time something long put a stop to sex! Am I right? High five?

      • Zap
        Zap
        January 14, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

        lmfao, nice

      • NF
        NF
        January 14, 2011 at 1:32 am | #

        “That’s what she–” [Mike nut-kick]

        • David Herbert
          David Herbert
          January 14, 2011 at 2:34 am | #

          Mike would kill an erection by showing Joe a video of him (Mike) doing Joe’s mom.

      • LT
        LT
        February 24, 2011 at 12:28 pm | #

        Who let The Todd in here?

    • Kater
      Kater
      January 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm | #

      A filibustered erection? I love it.

    • A random reader
      A random reader
      January 15, 2011 at 2:19 am | #

      Pfhaha. That would be great. I wonder what it would it would do to his mind to be unable to Joe her.

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      January 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm | #

      There are erotic parts of the Bible, you know… Jews used to have to be 30 before they were allowed to read Song of Solomon (also known as Song of Songs).

  5. addude
    addude
    January 14, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    Anyone else think it’s weird Sarah used the word Naif. It’s seems out of character to me. But if I’m the only one I’ll shut up

    • Nichan
      Nichan
      January 14, 2011 at 3:20 am | #

      I don’t see how it is, unless you’re just saying that because she’s black.
      It’s because she’s black, isn’t it??

      • addude
        addude
        January 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm | #

        No it’s not because she’s black. I’m saying no one now a days uses the word Naif unless for online role playing game

        • Tristan J
          Tristan J
          January 15, 2011 at 2:04 am | #

          It didn’t seem out of character to me, if only because she hasn’t really shown much of her character yet.

          If anything, her use of the word naif extends what we already know – that she’s fairly well-read, which is part of her whole ‘keeps to herself’ thing.

          • addude
            addude
            January 16, 2011 at 12:23 am | #

            you make a compelling argument and I commend you

  6. Wackd
    Wackd
    January 14, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

    He’s fixing her with his tool.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 15, 2011 at 2:34 am | #

      what else do you do with tools?

    • PedanticJerkass
      PedanticJerkass
      January 15, 2011 at 11:54 am | #

      If all you have is a penis, everything looks like a vagina.

      (Assuming you swing your tool that way, of course.)

  7. Ryune
    Ryune
    January 14, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

    See now I’m just envisioning the rise of Anti Joyce.

    • Haven
      Haven
      January 14, 2011 at 1:23 am | #

      it could be.

  8. Gianni
    Gianni
    January 14, 2011 at 12:33 am | #

    These aren’t The Hammer.

    The Hammer is my penis.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 14, 2011 at 12:47 am | #

      Curses, you beat me to it.

      • Cassidy
        Cassidy
        January 14, 2011 at 12:55 am | #

        Oh my god. Mr Willis your readers are fantastic.

        • Nichan
          Nichan
          January 14, 2011 at 3:23 am | #

          Mike said the same thing. About your mom.

          • Pagannerd
            Pagannerd
            January 14, 2011 at 6:08 am | #

            He was being sarcastic. She wasn’t worth the nickel.

  9. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    January 14, 2011 at 12:40 am | #

    RAHR! Joe was the Sex Monster for halloween…

    …and 364 other days ever year.

  10. Joebo
    Joebo
    January 14, 2011 at 12:48 am | #

    The Hammer is my penis.

    • Rodney
      Rodney
      January 14, 2011 at 1:10 am | #

      Does that make Danny Dr. Horrible…by association or something

  11. Raphaël Lafarge
    Raphaël Lafarge
    January 14, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

    You know, Willis, you’re talking about penis a lot these days. Are you trying to reveal us something?

    • photo instant nocorner itxtaltman86
      photoman86
      January 14, 2011 at 1:27 am | #

      That he has one? I know I’m awfully fond of my as well. It sure is good to be a man some times.

      • PleasingFungus
        PleasingFungus
        January 14, 2011 at 1:40 am | #

        As always, the auto-avatars make everything funnier.

        • Nichan
          Nichan
          January 14, 2011 at 3:21 am | #

          Yes. Yes they do.

    • Abjuron
      Abjuron
      January 14, 2011 at 1:33 am | #

      Maybe that his male characters have amazingly functional peeni? And that they like to wield their peeni* to alternatively fix and break things on occasion?

      *(Still trying to work out the spelling for this phonetically. I’ve just never liked the plural “penises” for some reason.)

      • David
        David M Willis
        January 14, 2011 at 9:08 am | #

        Try penii or penes.

        • Mal
          Mal
          January 14, 2011 at 1:24 pm | #

          Penes works, but in general, the most accepted is penises. The ending of -ii only works for nouns ending in ius. But maybe Joe’s member gets enough use that it is allowed an extra vowel? I don’t know.

          I’m kind of ashamed to know the definitive plural of penis.

          • PedanticJerkass
            PedanticJerkass
            January 15, 2011 at 11:59 am | #

            Maybe he has a penius maximus.

        • Abjuron
          Abjuron
          January 14, 2011 at 2:13 pm | #

          I like penii (er…the spelling of it anyway! THE SPELLING!). I think using penes would just ruin the pasta of a similar spelling for me forever.

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            January 14, 2011 at 5:22 pm | #

            Penii would be the plural of penius.

            I don’t know any man with a penius.

            Plenty with penes, however.

            Penes and penises are both valid (as is the case with most borrowings). Penii, not.

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        January 15, 2011 at 1:40 am | #

        Does that make penes the new duct tape?

  12. Shift
    Shift
    January 14, 2011 at 1:38 am | #

    Wow…. Something about Joe having that smile on his face when he said that… It just feels so creepy! I don’t know why, but he just comes off even more perverted because of how happy he is about his plans.

  13. maze
    maze
    January 14, 2011 at 2:03 am | #

    Joe, I know you’re not into rape, because then we wouldn’t like you, but chances are you will regret joe-ing Joyce, because one way or another, there is no way this can end well.

    • A random reader
      A random reader
      January 15, 2011 at 2:21 am | #

      Agreed.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 15, 2011 at 2:33 am | #

      quite so

      …with my penis.

  14. wynne
    wynne
    January 14, 2011 at 2:05 am | #

    Does Joe even know what “naif” means?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 14, 2011 at 10:58 am | #

      Nope – he misspelled it in the speech bubble, demonstrating unfamiliarity (and possibly mispronunciation, three seconds after hearing it.)

      • Guitar Dude From SD
        Guitar Dude From SD
        January 18, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

        Can someone tell me what a Naif is?

        • David
          David M Willis
          January 18, 2011 at 12:36 am | #

          Your name links to a domain that could tell you!

          • Guitar Dude From SD
            Guitar Dude From SD
            January 19, 2011 at 2:08 am | #

            Thanks, not sure why I didn’t do that in the first place.

          • Mindlink
            Mindlink
            February 1, 2016 at 5:17 am | #

            Google won’t tell me the difference between naif and naive, apart from that naif is apparently a masculine form and is spelled with a weird letter: “naïf”.

  15. TheAlucinaut
    TheAlucinaut
    January 14, 2011 at 2:37 am | #

    I am genuinely disturbed by Joe’s looking to violate Joyce due to my inexplicable adoration of Earth 2 Joyce.

    …

  16. Chase
    Chase
    January 14, 2011 at 3:39 am | #

    Joe, fixing girls one (possible 2 or even 3) at a time……. with his penis.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 15, 2011 at 2:32 am | #

      With his penis?

      • Coobee
        Coobee
        January 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm | #

        With his penis.

  17. katamanda
    katamanda
    January 14, 2011 at 7:32 am | #

    Sarah will regret her sex monster comment when Joe sprouts tentacles.

  18. LWS3
    LWS3
    January 14, 2011 at 7:46 am | #

    Well, she is very religous, so maybe he can convince her she’s being annointed by his holy rod and staff?

    • Dym
      Dym
      April 30, 2011 at 5:37 pm | #

      you’ve should read “putting the devil back in hell.” Now there is a horrible way to get a religious girl to sleep with you. Horrible but very funny.

  19. ashleyw
    ashleyw
    January 14, 2011 at 8:30 am | #

    Somehow I think Joeing her will be harder than Joe is thinking here.

    • A random reader
      A random reader
      January 15, 2011 at 2:17 am | #

      I suspect so. Perhaps because of her devoutness, she will start preaching about how immoral it is to do it before marriage. He will counter that he isn’t Christian. This will either lead to her trying to convert him or surprising everyone with a comprehension of other religions in that while Jews don’t find sex shameful or a sin, they also believe in after marriage. If not, he’ll Joe the Joyce out of her. This will spawn anti-Joyce or a broken Joyce ridden with guilt from the pre-marital hanky panky. Either of which complete with Joe feeling bad. Or maybe I’m just whistling dixie out my bum.

  20. ADHadh
    ADHadh
    January 14, 2011 at 8:49 am | #

    I suspect Joyce will be the one doing the “fixing” here 😉

  21. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    January 14, 2011 at 9:05 am | #

    What a perfect couple. Each one thinking that he/she can help fix the other’s “little problem” (Joe being a Jew, and Joyce not being a complete women without being banged).

    • A random reader
      A random reader
      January 15, 2011 at 2:25 am | #

      Yay, I like this couple too.
      ……
      >.> <.<
      (runs to hide behind something)

  22. Richie9999
    Richie9999
    January 14, 2011 at 10:26 am | #

    Ah, Joe. You never cease to make me chuckle.

  23. Kater
    Kater
    January 14, 2011 at 12:36 pm | #

    to paraphrase “A Softer World” http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=491

    “My Penis; The only scientific instrument I know how to play.”

  24. hectoruno
    hectoruno
    January 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm | #

    The title of todays Shortpacked is Dicks. Right after a honeymoon it seems a strange thing to be thinking about.

  25. Ezzy
    Ezzy
    January 14, 2011 at 2:23 pm | #

    I resent the new poll. I’m 16 but I know what a BBS is.
    Also, I <3 Sarah now.

    • David
      David M Willis
      January 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm | #

      Hey, you’ll come in useful whenever someone claims that Amber can’t possibly know what one is, being 18. Sweet.

    • licoricepencil
      licoricepencil
      January 17, 2011 at 12:00 am | #

      Same here! Yay!

  26. Roborat
    Roborat
    January 14, 2011 at 4:55 pm | #

    PEEEEENNNIIIIISSSS, it’s the new FAAAAACCCCEEE.

  27. Loki
    Loki
    January 14, 2011 at 5:03 pm | #

    Really, it’s fun to imagine all of Joe’s dialogue ending with the phrase “with my penis”.

    “…Face the goddamned world like a friggin’ man… with my penis.”

    • captainswift
      captainswift
      January 14, 2011 at 7:11 pm | #

      Now I shall compile a list of everything (DoA) Joe has ever said, with the phrase “with my penis” attached.

      • captainswift
        captainswift
        January 14, 2011 at 7:35 pm | #

        “Did I hear my name in a tender soprano—with my penis?”
        “Oh, it’s just you. With my penis.”
        “Man, Dan, so many eligible chicks here, and only four years in which to do ‘em with my penis.”
        “Are you and Dorothy still a thing? I need to know if I can put her on the ‘do’ list with my penis.”
        “So, say, like eight tonight I can put her on the ‘do’ list with my penis?”
        “Make that seven thirty. With my penis.”
        “You are a moron. With my penis.”
        “Wow, Dan, dumped at 7:30 exactly, with my penis.”
        “Thought I was pushing it when I moved my prediction up from 8:00, but man, go me. With my penis.”
        “Hey, do you subscribe to my ‘Do’ list’s RSS feed, with my penis?”
        “Let’s see, Dorothy’s got a respectable rack, but could use a little more booty. Kinda bookish. With my penis.”
        “I’ll file her with the sevens, with my penis.”
        “Okay, fine, she’s and eight, if you’re gonna get pissy about it. With my penis.”
        “Oh, Dan? Yeah, he hasn’t really left his room. I think he must’ve skipped one of his classes this morning, with my penis.”
        “Whatever. Dude just needs to get laid, with my penis.”
        “I tried to hint at him that things were ending between you two, but he can be a dense little man, with my penis.”
        “Eh, maybe we just need to find him some other romantically-codependent foofus to latch on to, with my penis.”
        “Yo, hey, Dan. With my penis.”
        “Time to get up, with my penis.”
        “I let you skip all your classes yesterday, but today is a whole new day. Having a loser, invalid roommate is gonna harsh on my sexy time, with my penis.”
        “So suck it up, stop being depressed about some stupid shit, and face the goddamned world like a friggin’ man with my penis!”
        “Tell me, Dan, has anyone ever complimented a dude, genuinely, on his peejays? With my penis?”
        “Don’t worry, buddy, I’ve got a plan to cheer you up, with my penis.”
        “Hey, you’ve known me forever. What am I best at with my penis?”
        “We’re gonna go downstairs to the lobby, and I’ll help you find a hot chick who’ll make you forget all about ol’ whats-her-face, with my penis.”
        “I have apologized for that with my penis!”
        “You’ll see. Hot eligible chicks are just around the corner, with my penis.”
        “Two chicks dead ahead. Let me do the talking and follow my lead, with my penis.”
        “Hey, I know you! With my penis!”
        “Weren’t you in my gender studies class yesterday? It must be you, because I’m getting the same smile on my face. With my penis.”
        “Hey, let me introduce you guys to Dan. Dan’s my boy, and he just got out of a three-year relationship that ended ‘cuz he’s really big on commitment, with my penis.”
        “Say hi, Dan. With my penis.”
        “Here, you two get acquainted while the blonde and I give you some space, with my penis.”
        “Wear a condom, with my penis.”
        “So, hey, you free tonight, with my penis?”
        “O… kay. With… my penis.”
        “Uh, not exactly. I’m Jewish. With my penis.”
        “Um, sure, why not? With my penis.”
        “How long is this thing with my penis?”
        “So hey, Dan, you gonna score tonight, with my penis?”
        “Okay racist with my penis.”
        “Random? No, never random. You’re kind of sexually timid, so I pushed you towards the one who’s had sex before, thus someone who would be more likely to take the initiative with my penis.”
        “See, while I chose the one who needs to be broken in, if you catch my drift with my penis.”
        “I’m gonna upgrade her from a four to a ten with my penis.”
        “I don’t think what’s-her-name will be ready for a threesome for at least a few more dates with my penis.”
        “Geez, you talk like I’m gonna rape her or something. That’s not how I get my jollies with my penis.”
        “Like you said, she’s inexperienced, she’s that ‘nafe’ thing, and I’m just here to help her along, 100% willingly, to womanhood, with my penis.”
        “Not breaking her, fixing her. With my penis.”
        “With my penis. With my penis.”

        • TsunamiJane
          TsunamiJane
          January 14, 2011 at 9:48 pm | #

          Mon Capitain (for I know not your gender),

          You have made me laugh so hard I am crying.

          Thank you.

        • Alechsa
          Alechsa
          January 14, 2011 at 10:37 pm | #

          Feck….. it’s like the goddamn fortune cookie ‘in bed’ rule….

        • arjay2813
          arjay2813
          January 15, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

          i’m gonna laugh so hard i cry. this page is one i’m bookmarking, just to read what you’ve posted oh captain my captainswift

          • captainswift
            captainswift
            January 15, 2011 at 12:53 am | #

            Gosh, thanks folks. Technically, I just took somebody else’s idea and ran with it, but I’m glad the work was appreciated.

        • Joebo
          Joebo
          January 15, 2011 at 2:30 am | #

          I kinda want “With my penis. With my penis.” on a t-shirt

          If it weren’t, you know, horribly inappropriate.

          • Joebo
            Joebo
            January 15, 2011 at 2:31 am | #

            …with my penis.

        • PedanticJerkass
          PedanticJerkass
          January 15, 2011 at 12:06 pm | #

          To reiterate:

          “Oh, Dan? Yeah, he hasn’t really left his room. I think he must’ve skipped one of his classes this morning, with my penis.”
          “Whatever. Dude just needs to get laid, with my penis.”

          • Peace in Our Time
            Peace in Our Time
            January 16, 2011 at 2:16 am | #

            “I have apologized for that with my penis!”

        • Loki
          Loki
          January 18, 2011 at 11:21 am | #

          My favorite: “I have apologized for that with my penis!”

    • Shift
      Shift
      January 16, 2011 at 4:42 am | #

      Considering he said that to Danny, that really would bring up some interesting aspects about their friendship…

  28. Menachem Schmuel
    Menachem Schmuel
    January 14, 2011 at 8:41 pm | #

    I have to say, I really, really disapprove of Joyce/Joe.

    Alot.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 15, 2011 at 2:31 am | #

      with you penis?

      • Scullwah
        Scullwah
        January 15, 2011 at 4:15 am | #

        with his penis

    • Shift
      Shift
      January 16, 2011 at 4:43 am | #

      You don’t actually think a real relationship is going to come of it do you?

      And…

      with his penis.

      • Menachem Schmuel
        Menachem Schmuel
        January 16, 2011 at 8:23 am | #

        No, but I still disapprove. With my pee-nice.

  29. quartz
    quartz
    January 14, 2011 at 8:59 pm | #

    Y’know, everyone seems to think this is super creepy, but I mean, he’s not entirely wrong. He’s PHRASING it in a creepy way, but sometimes sheltered people do need a more experienced partner to help them discover their sexuality. Obviously Joyce is at least a little bit excited and interested, and if he continues to be as honest about his intentions as he has been so far, I think Joe is in a place to do her a lot of good.

    With his penis.

    • Tristan J
      Tristan J
      January 15, 2011 at 2:11 am | #

      I notice a lot of what Joe says is ‘accurate analysis of the psychology of the situation, filtered through creepy misogyny’.

  30. Alechsa
    Alechsa
    January 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm | #

    The Hammer is my Penis.

  31. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    January 15, 2011 at 12:31 am | #

    with my penis
    is the new FAAAAAACE

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 15, 2011 at 2:31 am | #

      indeed it is with my penis.

      • Scullwah
        Scullwah
        January 15, 2011 at 4:17 am | #

        Your FAAAAAACE is with your Penis?

        I’m not sure if that’s creepy or impressive, with my penis.

  32. OhNoUDiNt
    OhNoUDiNt
    January 15, 2011 at 4:41 am | #

    Roz in the other universe summed it up. It helps girls to be happy to have dicks in them. So clearly Joe is just trying to be the giving sort that we all know him to be and Joe is nothing if not helpful…with his penis.

  33. Chiatroll
    Chiatroll
    January 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm | #

    I still think it’s cake in his hand that we can see. I wish I had a better food shot this strip.

  34. Janos
    Janos
    January 15, 2011 at 2:57 pm | #

    He just wants to reach out and help her into womanhood with his PENIS is that so wrong to want to touch someones life with your penis? T___T

  35. Gianni
    Gianni
    January 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm | #

    With his penis.

    Just that sentence alone is worth COUNTLESS hours of amusement.

  36. Shift
    Shift
    January 16, 2011 at 4:44 am | #

    With his Penis.

    I don’t know why, but this just seems like it’s becoming the DoA equivalent of the Transformers Slogan of: Until All are One. I just have this mental image of Optimus Prime saying that in battle.

    • Menachem Schmuel
      Menachem Schmuel
      January 16, 2011 at 8:24 am | #

      ROLL OUT (With our penises)

  37. Robert in San Diego
    Robert in San Diego
    January 16, 2011 at 10:42 am | #

    Joe and Joyce on a date: Sweet outing with dinner, a movie and a good night kiss, or the relationship equivalent of a trainwreck?

    No, wait, this is Willis. He could be planning both.

    • Muspel
      Muspel
      January 24, 2011 at 7:07 pm | #

      With his penis.

  38. doodlebug
    doodlebug
    January 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm | #

    I like this Sarah a lot more than the one in roomies. She’s at least protective of Joyce.

  39. Kelvin
    Kelvin
    August 30, 2011 at 6:27 am | #

    Awww. Sarah already cares about Joyce.

    • Shade Tail
      Shade Tail
      September 13, 2011 at 3:17 pm | #

      How do you figure that? She’s saying flat out that what she cares about is a quiet and stable room where she can live in peace. That’s not caring about Joyce, that’s caring only about herself.

  40. ThatGug
    ThatGug
    August 19, 2014 at 7:38 am | #

    Sex monster? who told you…

  41. RandomPerson12
    RandomPerson12
    October 17, 2014 at 7:20 am | #

    Joe says that as if it’s completely normal

  42. Cacturne
    Cacturne
    January 10, 2016 at 10:18 pm | #

    AND ON THIS DAY, A MEME WAS BORN
    with his penis

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