Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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September 20, 2023

Red Bull

by David M Willis on January 19, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Men are from Beck, Women are from Clark

└ Tags: jennifer

Discussion (68) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Chrisby
    Chrisby
    January 19, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    Her stupid FAAAAAACE.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 19, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

      Great FAAAAAAACE think alike.

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    January 19, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    Let me guess, tomorrow we discover that the combination has turned her into Amazi-Girl’s nemesis: Hyper Drunk. With the power to flash boobs at the speed of light.

  3. JackNapier
    JackNapier
    January 19, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    Should’ve gotten Four Loko. It’s alcoholic energy drink, so there’s something for everyone!

    • NCP19
      NCP19
      January 19, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      Heh, that’s what I get for pausing. Great minds think alike.

    • Ragnal
      Ragnal
      January 19, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      Isn’t that that “blackout in a can” I’ve been hearing about? I don’t think even Billie would go to that.

    • David
      David M Willis
      January 19, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

      Have you tried to get a Four Loko in the past few months? They got FDAed, dude.

      • beeftony
        beeftony
        January 19, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

        But apparently it makes great biofuel.

      • Beachfox
        Beachfox
        January 19, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

        But it wasn’t banned back in September! Which is when this is still taking place, right?

        *ducks*

      • MaxGoof
        MaxGoof
        January 19, 2011 at 12:37 am | #

        Four Lokos aren’t banned everywhere. I just bought some and tried them in Cleveland a couple weeks ago. The real question isn’t whether or not they’re safe, but whether or not a human being could drink a whole can of that gross stuff. Seriously–most vile concoction I’ve ever tasted in my life.

        • David
          David M Willis
          January 19, 2011 at 12:46 am | #

          I don’t see how anybody could drink a whole can! I can’t finish off more than half, and usually I have to go by thirds.

          But, man, that stuff really helped me do both SP! and DoA for a while. I’m kinda feeling the lack of webcomic fuel these days. Nobody here stocks it anymore.

          • Brendan
            Brendan
            January 19, 2011 at 1:05 am | #

            A fifth of MD20 and a quarter-teaspoon of caffeine powder (a quick Google search will find a supplier; it’s about $20 per cup). Trust me on this one. Offsets the sweetness, too.

          • NF
            NF
            January 19, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

            Four Loko fueled David Willis’ webcomicking?

            This raises so many questions.

          • numaron
            numaron
            January 19, 2011 at 1:37 am | #

            Actually, NF, I think that answers more questions than it raises. 😉

          • Zap
            Zap
            January 19, 2011 at 2:03 am | #

            And yet it answers so many at the same time.

          • Wizard
            Wizard
            January 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm | #

            Monster Energy and tequila. Works surprisingly well.

          • Fauxlosopher
            Fauxlosopher
            September 8, 2011 at 11:29 pm | #

            Had a can and a half once. I split the first can with someone, then drank the second. I remember taking the last swallow, then waking up on the couch the next afternoon.

            Black out in a can? YES. Jesus Christ, yes. And you can buy them at local liquor stores in Carbondale, IL, where Southern Illinois University is, for about three fifty.

        • Malph
          Malph
          January 19, 2011 at 2:59 am | #

          I don’t drink (or, rather, can’t legally for another year), but I heard if you drink four light beers beforehand it doesn’t taste as much like diesel fuel.

      • JackNapier
        JackNapier
        January 19, 2011 at 10:52 am | #

        Beachfox has a point. Isn’t it still August for these crazy kids? Four Loko would still be available.

        • David
          David M Willis
          January 19, 2011 at 11:07 am | #

          As I discussed regarding the whole cafeteria trays fiasco, it may just be August for them, but that doesn’t mean it’s August 2010 for them. They’re in an August. Dumbing of Age isn’t intended to slowly become a period piece.

          • JackNapier
            JackNapier
            January 19, 2011 at 6:09 pm | #

            Duly noted. I’ll keep that in mind next time.

  4. NCP19
    NCP19
    January 19, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    Billie just needs some Fourloco (or whatever it is)

  5. Darth Shadow
    Darth Shadow
    January 19, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    I’m not sure anyone can read her blood alcohol level anymore, mainly because there’s more alcohol in her than actual blood.

    • Black_Fedora
      Black_Fedora
      January 19, 2011 at 2:01 am | #

      or as my Sister would say, “You got too much blood in yer’ Alcohol stream, their’s some rum hidden in the couch, fix it” 😛

      • Malph
        Malph
        January 20, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

        Or, as my neighbor would say:

        “You’ve gots erself sum blah in yer [incomprehensible gibberish]. LES GET SLOSHED!!!”

  6. Wackd
    Wackd
    January 19, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    Is it possible for someone to be passed out and have extreme jitters simultaneously? Because I see that happening next.

    That, or Billie dies. I have to admit tomorrow’s strip starting with Sal finding Billie’s corpse in her room and completely ignoring it would be amusing. Sick, yes, but amusing.

    I’m trying to decide which would be funnier, hang on…

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      January 19, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      THIS. Oh god, Billie dying of alcohol poisoning and a heart attack at once would be hilarious, just for Sal’s reaction. Please, Willis?

      • beeftony
        beeftony
        January 19, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

        It’s too early for April Fool’s day.

  7. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    January 19, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

    i’d put money on her not showing up

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 19, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

      I thought the last panel happened at morning and Sal didn’t show up at all?

      • arjay2813
        arjay2813
        January 19, 2011 at 12:19 am | #

        i thought it could be the sunset, but it could be morning. willis only knows.

      • Jason
        Jason
        January 19, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

        Hmm, I didn’t think of that, but the morning interpretation does make the strip a lot funnier!

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      January 19, 2011 at 2:47 pm | #

      Sal does not sleep, she waits.

  8. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    January 19, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    BAD Billie! *smack* Don’t mix alcohol and energy drinks. Dunk your head in ice water every few minutes and you can still drink while staying awake.

  9. Eri
    Eri
    January 19, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

    Even before reading the comic as soon as I read the title I went “with whiskey, right?”

    • Jason
      Jason
      January 19, 2011 at 1:03 am | #

      No. With his penis.

  10. Peace in Our Time
    Peace in Our Time
    January 19, 2011 at 1:42 am | #

    What is it with these wuss kids today and their need for energy drinks just to get through one night? God, Billie, no wonder you’ve gotten fat.

  11. Dahlia
    Dahlia
    January 19, 2011 at 1:44 am | #

    Now she’s finally acting logical!

    I wonder how this will go. O:

  12. Noxx
    Noxx
    January 19, 2011 at 1:45 am | #

    That’s a nights worth of whiskey? Phbbbt.

    • dchorror
      dchorror
      January 19, 2011 at 8:59 am | #

      Some people can nurse a drink forever. It’s a lot cheaper than buying a case.

      • Noxx
        Noxx
        January 20, 2011 at 2:37 am | #

        There’s a term for nursing a half-pint all night tho…. sobriety.

        • dchorror
          dchorror
          January 21, 2011 at 3:21 am | #

          Given that she was pulling those out of her bag, I don’t think Billie’s one of those people, she just has it stashed in her bag.

  13. HeezytheBeezy
    HeezytheBeezy
    January 19, 2011 at 1:48 am | #

    I’ve chugged two FourLokos before a night on the town. No blackouts, no heaves, nary a headache in the morning, but the most wonderful state of intoxication I’ve ever experienced. The secret is being Irish, I think. In this case, I don’t think those would work out well for Billie. Long live college students!

  14. John Biles
    John Biles
    January 19, 2011 at 1:51 am | #

    It takes some impressive stupid to drink whiskey if you want to stay awake all night.

  15. Astragali
    Astragali
    January 19, 2011 at 3:06 am | #

    From what I read on Wikipedia, Four Loko has been reformulated without the caffeine. But it’s not selling as well, and illegal sales of the caffeinated version are continuing, at about five times the original retail price…

  16. rezby
    rezby
    January 19, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

    I’m sorry Billie, I guess college is just babies.

  17. Robert in San Diego
    Robert in San Diego
    January 19, 2011 at 3:26 am | #

    The one time I tried “Red Bull,” was practically vibrating. And I’m a coffee drinker. What do they put in those energy drinks, anyway?

    • Soundbucket
      Soundbucket
      January 19, 2011 at 8:16 am | #

      I never drink coffee, and Red Bull has nearly no effect on me.
      I think its effects depend on the user’s genetic makeup or something?

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        January 19, 2011 at 1:42 pm | #

        I tried one once. Once. Didn’t really do anything for me, plus it tasted like cough syrup. OTOH, a friend of mine described as “like drinking pure energy”. So, yeah, response does seem to vary by user.

      • Pulse5
        Pulse5
        January 19, 2011 at 8:35 pm | #

        Or it could be how people react to electrified toxic waste

    • Lokitsu
      Lokitsu
      January 19, 2011 at 9:12 pm | #

      Robert, the major ingredients are caffeine, sugar and something intended to boost the effect of the caffeine. Red bull uses taurine, which is made from bile.
      That’s right… bile.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 20, 2011 at 12:55 am | #

      You know how they sell decafeinate coffee? Well the caffeine they pull out of coffee is sold to fine folks like Red Bull.

      Also say no to Taurine!

    • Noxx
      Noxx
      January 20, 2011 at 2:47 am | #

      Here’s a good read on the taurine / caffeine combo, with citations http://healthpsych.psy.vanderbilt.edu/Taurine.htm

      Also, if you are pre-disposed by other factors to arrhythmia, the double dose of diuretics along with ingredients that interact most actively with heart tissue can lead to some interesting times. In studies I have participated in, some people ingesting “energy drinks” begin throwing PVC’s and displaying abnormal rhythms after a single serving.

      So, not to be alarmist, but if Red Bull makes you feel jittery and weird, you should probably leave it alone.

  18. OhNoUDiNt
    OhNoUDiNt
    January 19, 2011 at 7:47 am | #

    She’s probably great in the sack after a whiskey and a Red Bull. Besides, if the drinking becomes a problem, Joe can fix her. With his penis.

  19. Clementine
    Clementine
    January 19, 2011 at 9:04 am | #

    There is a place that has Four Loko nearby.

    And, yes, I know where you live.

    “You faaaaace is so babies.”

    • David
      David M Willis
      January 19, 2011 at 9:18 am | #

      The Weber Mart on the corner of Weber and Indianola used to carry it, but they don’t no more.

      • maggiemarmalade
        maggiemarmalade
        January 19, 2011 at 9:13 pm | #

        No you just have to be a cute girl and ask about it at the counter. They have it in the back.

        • Clementine
          Clementine
          January 20, 2011 at 12:37 am | #

          There’s a convenience store on High across from Taco Bell, I think, or across from North Campus Video. Somewhere in that vicinity.

          They had several flavors in the cooler and stacks of them on the floor. Clearly, they’re pushing to get rid of them. 🙂

          Maggie is also correct about your other option. Time to go drag to get your Four Loko fix.

  20. Loki
    Loki
    January 19, 2011 at 10:31 am | #

    So, the next strip is set in the hospital after Billie’s blackout and/or coma, yes?

    • dchorror
      dchorror
      January 19, 2011 at 11:15 am | #

      Too early to have a time skip. Plus, we’d miss all the juicy bits for the other characters.

  21. dchorror
    dchorror
    January 19, 2011 at 11:17 am | #

    It doesn’t seem she cares about making or keeping friends, so I could imagine college being pretty painful.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm | #

      I don’t see what makes you think she’s uninterested in making friends. She hasn’t made friends with the hostile Ruth or the absent Sal, but honestly that doesn’t seem indicative of much to me.

      Well regardless, friends or not she has her booze; so she’ll be fine.

    • Strephon
      Strephon
      January 19, 2011 at 10:20 pm | #

      She seemed pleased at the prospect of Joyce wanting to be her friend…until Sal came along and stole her thunder.

      • dchorror
        dchorror
        January 20, 2011 at 12:34 am | #

        She seemed pleased with the idea of Joyce worshiping her. I doubt anything would have come of it if Joyce hadn’t have proclaimed her to be awesome. She sees people as a means to an end.

  22. Zem
    Zem
    January 19, 2011 at 6:28 pm | #

    She’s rooming with Batman. She could get from door to bed without her even noticing, probably.

  23. Robert in San Diego
    Robert in San Diego
    January 19, 2011 at 6:51 pm | #

    Dumb question — what do YOU use for stakeout fuel? I generally go with double espressos or small/short coffees. By the way, “Short” is Starbucks code for an 8 ounce hot beverage — it’s not on their menus, but they still stock the cups.

    • Malph
      Malph
      January 20, 2011 at 3:45 am | #

      Whenever I need to stay up all night (which is surprisingly often) I use Monster or Venom. Then, in the morning, I drink coffee.

    • KHNO
      KHNO
      January 20, 2011 at 6:56 am | #

      225g of beverage or of coffee? Neither of it is short! – of course my idea of short is what we have here as ristrettos, which is in Italy way too full to be called anything else than espresso.

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