Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

June 24, 2026

Hancock

by David M Willis on May 18, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 05 - Media Rumble
└ Tags: danny

Discussion (97) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 18, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    A question I have asked myself many times.

    • George
      George
      May 18, 2011 at 1:22 am | #

      Who hasn’t asked that at some point in their loves?

      • David Herbert
        David Herbert
        May 18, 2011 at 2:22 am | #

        ‘In their loves’?

        I don’t think I’ve ever asked a lady a question while banging.

        • tom
          tom
          May 18, 2011 at 2:33 am | #

          Really? Not even “what do you charge for this again?”, or “why are you crying?”, or “you don’t have a cat allergy, do you?”

          Seriously, though, try it sometime. She’ll probably let you do kinkier stuff if you ask first.

          • Bekah
            Bekah
            May 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm | #

            Last time somebody asked me stuff while banging, he hit all of those questions in rapid succession:
            “What are you charging for this again? Wait… why are you crying? You don’t have a cat allergy do you? Oh, the dead body in the corner? Just ignore that. Sometimes hookers just don’t know when to stop crying.”

            I’m not a hooker.

            • CWR
              CWR
              May 19, 2011 at 9:14 am | #

              Wow, I normally have to say something to a girl before I’m given that information – like “Hello.”

              • DarkVeghetta
                DarkVeghetta
                June 19, 2015 at 10:57 pm | #

                Who needs social norms on comment sections of
                webcomics. We just go straight for the penis.

            • DarkVeghetta
              DarkVeghetta
              June 19, 2015 at 10:59 pm | #

              I know what you mean. Dead hookers in the corner make me horny too.

          • Mally
            Mally
            July 21, 2015 at 11:29 pm | #

            A nickel, obviously.

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 18, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Because you could USE IT DANNO

  3. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    May 18, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    There’s a special level of hell reserved for you for that glorious pun, Willis.

    • Karo
      Karo
      May 18, 2011 at 12:33 am | #

      And that level is filled with Cake. LOTS AND LOTS OF CAKE.

    • Khrene Cleaver
      Khrene Cleaver
      May 18, 2011 at 2:27 pm | #

      Is this pun too clever for an average pun pusher as myself? Cause I don’t see it.

      • Khrene Cleaver
        Khrene Cleaver
        May 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm | #

        Ohhh for the title of the comic. Nevermind

  4. Dahlia
    Dahlia
    May 18, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    *facepalm*

    • Tristan J
      Tristan J
      May 18, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

      You got condom all over your face.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        May 18, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

        Because it needs to be done:

        Don’t you mean FAAAAAAAAACE?

        • Tristan J
          Tristan J
          May 18, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

          I really have to stop setting that up for people.

          It leaves me with egg on my… butt.

          • Henry
            Henry
            May 18, 2011 at 12:17 am | #

            For a nickel? With your penis?

            C’mon, we gotta have the trifecta here.

      • Dahlia
        Dahlia
        May 18, 2011 at 12:56 am | #

        B ] Its a slight possibility.

  5. Rognik
    Rognik
    May 18, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    You can’t beat a celebrity, even a sex celeb.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      May 18, 2011 at 12:29 am | #

      I suspect you can beat Roz…she’ll even ask you to!

      • Cha
        Cha
        May 18, 2011 at 1:15 am | #

        With your penis.

        • Sonzilber
          Sonzilber
          May 18, 2011 at 1:29 am | #

          For a nickel

        • Hello, Mr. Anderson
          Hello, Mr. Anderson
          May 18, 2011 at 1:29 am | #

          On camera

          • Jon
            Jon
            May 18, 2011 at 1:40 am | #

            For a Nickel

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              May 18, 2011 at 1:51 am | #

              In the Library.

              • JK9000
                JK9000
                May 18, 2011 at 2:15 am | #

                I would play this version of Clue.

                • Lesharo
                  Lesharo
                  May 18, 2011 at 12:01 pm | #

                  …
                  There was a massive party last night at which your character got extremely drunk and fornicated with someone. Now, you must follow the Clue(s) and figure out who did it (and with whom).

                  Yeah, I think it would sell

                • Random Webcomics Junkie
                  Random Webcomics Junkie
                  May 18, 2011 at 12:40 pm | #

                  Lesharo – yes.

                  I’ve watched people play this game in real life, and it is most amusing to watch them try to figure it out without alerting everyone at the party that they don’t know whose panties were on their head when they woke up.

                  A board game could be almost as interesting, provided it was played whilst partially inebriated.

  6. Parismio
    Parismio
    May 18, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

    Thats for you to use Danny.

    With your penis.

    • Lan M.
      Lan M.
      May 18, 2011 at 12:20 am | #

      For use during sex. Silly Danny.

    • NF
      NF
      May 18, 2011 at 12:53 am | #

      Wow, it’s an entirely appropriate and hilarious use of “with my/your penis”. Bravo.

  7. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    May 18, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

    i kind of want one of those myself, and i dont’t care how i’d get it

    • Michelle Alford
      Michelle Alford
      May 18, 2011 at 12:17 am | #

      I’ll be happy to sign a condom for you.

      • tom
        tom
        May 18, 2011 at 2:29 am | #

        With your penis?

      • arjay2813
        arjay2813
        May 21, 2011 at 10:18 am | #

        that’s fine

    • Lesharo
      Lesharo
      May 18, 2011 at 12:02 pm | #

      New item for the store, Willis: Character Autographed Condoms

  8. John Biles
    John Biles
    May 18, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

    The answer, Danny, is that you are, in fact, really pathetic. REALLY, really pathetic.
    Though at least you are able to speak to women and don’t just curl up in a ball. Even if you lose every time, at least real words come out of your mouth.

    • Lady Ray
      Lady Ray
      May 18, 2011 at 2:31 pm | #

      …Your avatar makes this funnier.

      • CWR
        CWR
        May 19, 2011 at 9:18 am | #

        Danno, you do realize we can hear your inner monologue?

  9. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
    Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
    May 18, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

    0_0

    • Tristan J
      Tristan J
      May 18, 2011 at 12:36 am | #

      ^_^

  10. Matt of Steel
    Matt of Steel
    May 18, 2011 at 12:49 am | #

    Roz is telling you that she thinks you’re a dick.

    • Fellstrike
      Fellstrike
      May 18, 2011 at 12:51 am | #

      or that she’s thinking of his dick…

    • NF
      NF
      May 18, 2011 at 12:54 am | #

      Because she also still believes in justice.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 18, 2011 at 1:42 am | #

        A HARD THROBBING JUSTICE!

      • Jackson
        Jackson
        May 18, 2011 at 7:02 am | #

        And now, I can’t help but be reminded of:

        “Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled JUS-TICE.”

  11. Dean
    Dean
    May 18, 2011 at 12:55 am | #

    “…and where are my pants?”

    • Madock345
      Madock345
      May 18, 2011 at 1:10 am | #

      someone needs to edit a fifth panel with this, like, now.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 18, 2011 at 1:22 am | #

        http://i669.photobucket.com/albums/vv60/gangler52/2011-05-18-hancock.png?t=1305696072

        Let it be written and recorded in all homes, and passed on in tellings of the story to future generations, that Dan has in fact, misplaced his pants.

      • Cha
        Cha
        May 18, 2011 at 1:27 am | #

        http://oi52.tinypic.com/alhvs9.jpg

        You’re welcome.

      • madock345
        madock345
        May 27, 2011 at 11:41 pm | #

        thank-you, Both of you. equaly awsomely hilarious.

  12. gangler
    gangler
    May 18, 2011 at 1:02 am | #

    So tell me, my little Danno. Where’s your justice now? Did your justice save you when King Immotep cast you into the den of irresponsible roommate? Did your Justice save you when your dear concubine left you in pursuit of the dark God mammon? Nay, I say unto you, your justice is false. Bow before my Gods danny boy, and all will be forgiven.

    • Ancestral Hamster
      Ancestral Hamster
      May 18, 2011 at 1:53 am | #

      “There’s no justice. There’s just us.”

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 18, 2011 at 11:59 am | #

        It’s time we showed the super silly sideshow swindlers what we really thing of them! You’re no super heroes. You’re Super Zeroes! Not that we should be surprised. These “Super heroes”, they don’t have to wait for an invitation. They go where they want when they want. They get special treatment since they’re the “Good Guys, right? Of course they are! And I’m sure they can account for the fact that since their so called “Justice league” formed, white collar crime is up 3%! Or maybe they’d like to explain whey on their watch fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce, and the other fifty percent in death!

        Unlike the rest of us who work hard to provide for our loved ones, they claim to do what they do for less selfish reasons! Quotes The Green Lantern “We’re above all that”. That’s right! You heard it folkes, straight from the source. The Just Us League says they’re better than you!

        We’re outta time. Tomorrow, more of the hard truth You Wanna Hear!

  13. Wackd
    Wackd
    May 18, 2011 at 1:14 am | #

    You can’t write on condoms!

    Maybe if your school had an STD fair, you’d know that.

    • David
      David M Willis
      May 18, 2011 at 1:18 am | #

      Your school’s STD fair handed out unwrapped condoms?

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 18, 2011 at 1:32 am | #

        “Here, kid. Have a balloon. A special balloon.”

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          August 31, 2012 at 11:50 pm | #

          Goddamn it. I was making a Community reference.

        • RandomPerson12
          RandomPerson12
          October 23, 2014 at 7:19 am | #

          You put it on your penis…for a nickel

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 18, 2011 at 1:44 am | #

      Not even with a felt tip marker?

    • Carlos Futino
      Carlos Futino
      May 18, 2011 at 6:37 am | #

      I think she signed the wrapping, not the condom itself.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm | #

        Those condom wrappers are pretty much impossible to write on.

        If only they coulkd apply that technology as an anti-graffiti measure.

        • CWR
          CWR
          May 19, 2011 at 9:21 am | #

          When condoms fail, taggers are sometimes the result.

  14. Cha
    Cha
    May 18, 2011 at 1:28 am | #

    Magic, Danny, magic.

    • Wizard
      Wizard
      May 18, 2011 at 2:47 am | #

      Based on “adult” movies, I assumed condoms usually appear by magic.

      • Lesharo
        Lesharo
        May 18, 2011 at 12:05 pm | #

        You mean they don’t? Man, my boyfriends been lying to me…

  15. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 18, 2011 at 1:31 am | #

    Danny: “All I got was this autographed condom… OF JUSTICE! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE, I SHALL STRIKE DOWN ALL WHO WORSHIP EVIL WITH MY MIGHTY, JUST (and protected) HAMMER! ALL SHALL FEEL MY POWERFUL THRUSTS OF JUSTICE!”

    • Lt. Taz
      Lt. Taz
      May 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm | #

      “…the hammer is my penis”
      is the first thing that came to mind reading that.
      thankyouforyourtime

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 25, 2011 at 1:46 am | #

      “I am the boner of my sword.”

  16. gangler
    gangler
    May 18, 2011 at 1:31 am | #

    So, I guess I need a wordpress account to comment on shortpacked now? Is that temporary? Am I gonna need an account for DoA comments soon? What’s happening there?

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 18, 2011 at 2:34 am | #

      Oh, I guess that went away. Not sure what was going on there, but it seems to have fixed itself. No worries ^^

  17. Brendan
    Brendan
    May 18, 2011 at 1:41 am | #

    Quick! Go back and you can make it a used condom!

  18. JK9000
    JK9000
    May 18, 2011 at 2:18 am | #

    Han… cock… Ooooooh.

    I get it.

    • Lesharo
      Lesharo
      May 18, 2011 at 12:06 pm | #

      Duh…the shadowy guy in the background is Will Smith.

  19. Aizat
    Aizat
    May 18, 2011 at 4:09 am | #

    Yeah Danny, what happened?

    • sock
      sock
      May 18, 2011 at 4:09 pm | #

      the gravatar does it for me.

    • Cha
      Cha
      May 18, 2011 at 9:08 pm | #

      …this is too perfect.

    • Henry
      Henry
      May 19, 2011 at 12:47 am | #

      Indeed.

  20. kagato23
    kagato23
    May 18, 2011 at 6:37 am | #

    If Danny stopped to think about this, an outed Joe is more likely to brag about this than anything else.

    He’ll probably on Dortothy during his interview.

    Oh no. NO!

    DORTHYXJOE GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

    Please tell us that early gag was not actually foreshadowing Willis.

    • CWR
      CWR
      May 19, 2011 at 9:25 am | #

      I’m sorry, he’ll probably *what* on Dorothy? Guess the missing word and win a hunnerd dollas!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 19, 2011 at 11:31 am | #

        Joe’d? Joeing? Joesterbating?

        • CWR
          CWR
          May 23, 2011 at 5:18 am | #

          I’m sorry – the slip of paper the duck has in his bill has the word “come”.

          Oh, ick.

  21. Kelsey
    Kelsey
    May 18, 2011 at 7:39 am | #

    That’s what happens when you try to take on internet sex celebreties.

  22. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    May 18, 2011 at 8:51 am | #

    Roz was just thanking the cameraman who made all of this possible.

  23. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    May 18, 2011 at 9:41 am | #

    This strip has the best title ever.

  24. Cranberrier
    Cranberrier
    May 18, 2011 at 1:28 pm | #

    I call Danny/Background Guy Rule 34.

    • Lady Ray
      Lady Ray
      May 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm | #

      It’s not good rule 34 until you have at least 5 !’s. For instance:

      FrenchMaid!TentacleMonster!Female!Danny/Crossdressing!Bondage!BackgroundGuy

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        May 18, 2011 at 8:48 pm | #

        This discussion makes me want to see a rule 34’d meeting between Walkyverse Mike and Dumbiverse Mike.

        • Cranberrier
          Cranberrier
          May 18, 2011 at 9:54 pm | #

          They say angry sex is the best.

          • Lady Ray
            Lady Ray
            May 19, 2011 at 6:50 pm | #

            It’s looking like angry threesomes now 😛

  25. Roborat
    Roborat
    May 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm | #

    Boy, those guys in the background sure are walking slow.

  26. saturnwonder
    saturnwonder
    May 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm | #

    lol!

  27. Engelfire
    Engelfire
    May 19, 2011 at 6:12 pm | #

    A WIZARD DID IT.

  28. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    May 20, 2011 at 5:55 pm | #

    Roz is a Silence?

    • RandomPerson12
      RandomPerson12
      October 23, 2014 at 7:18 am | #

      Naw, if she was….oh. Yeah, Roz is totally a Silence

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