Iris Black is a self-proclaimed inventor with the curious ability to bring his drawings to life, and yearns to find a space where he can use his powers freely.
Mac Hall
Matt Boyd
The legendary early-aughts webcomic that inspired a wave of webcomic creators.
Dumbing of Age
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Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
2 Slices
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After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
The Otherknown
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Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Slightly Damned
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Rhea Snaketail returns from the dead, befriending a Demon who falls in love with an Angel. The afterlife ain't what it used to be!
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Cyanide & Happiness
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Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Fantomestein
Beka Duke
Desperate for companionship, Frankenstein's Monster pretends to be the Opera Ghost. A grave mistake.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
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Either he’s doomed to be a useless background character, or there’s a good reason Willis isn’t telling us his name. There are several background characters that have only appeared in one or two strips, and not even had a speaking role, so I’m guessing it’s the latter.
Speaking of useless background characters, there seems to be a Shortpa-I mean Galasso’s Pizza employee getting owned by somebody in an orange long-sleeve shirt.
Not a new character, in the walkyverse he was some asshole who had sex with Ruth while she was babysitting Billie and Walky, the latter of which got abducted by aliens
For some reason that reminds me of a time when I went to a really large christian store and asked to see their nativity scenes, and then clarified saying I was hoping to find some more historically accurate ones that weren’t all white but better reflected his “actual ethnic heritage”.
That was a laugh and a half watching them run around looking for ones that weren’t white washed.
Mel Gibson went to so much trouble to have them speaking Aramaic in Passion of the Christ, all for the ‘authenticity’ and ‘accuracy’, but Jesus was STILL white.
Jews are white. Jews have always been white. Have you ever been to Israel? Three wise men may not have been white, but the Jews in the nativity scene should have been.
Israel now is whitewashed because a bunch of European Jews moved there around 1947. Original Jews would have probably looked a lot more like Egyptians (think how long they lived in Egypt, per examplar) – not Sub-Saharan dark, but olive-to-tan skin, dark hair, dark eyes. Not sandy brown hair and “three inches south of Iceland” white.
There is never much description of what anybody looks like in the bible. In the Apocrypha there are some depictions though. According to them all of the assorted Marys are basically described as gingers, and Jesus is said to have had ashy skin and auburn hair (a combination that left me thinking the first time I read it that Morgan Freeman is good casting for God). Jesus was apparently not a good looking guy – he was supposed to have been short, stocky, and with bad facial scars- it’s actually mentioned in the bible that after the resurrection no one could recognize him at first glace because while he looked the same he was suddenly beautiful. The idea of Jesus being black comes from Revelations where he is described as having “skin like coal and hair like wool”.
I’m not sure his motives are particularly ulterior. This could be as simple as, “hey, you’re the only other person at this party not getting wasted. We’re not even sure he’s all that straight-laced; maybe he just doesn’t like alcohol (I know I don’t, personally). Maybe he’s the son of a pastor who’s a bit on the extreme side, and as children often do, he’s swung in the opposite direction.
Also, young men are in fact capable of approaching an attractive woman without sleazing their way into her pants. Especially if they’re gay, but even if not.
When I went to Uni, the kids that went the wildest were from the super religious families. It seemed like very pastor’s daughter was discovering the joys of alcohol and sex by thanksgiving break.
And with this comic, Joyce has shown that she knows more than what she lets on. Also, good to see Joyce not being extremely religious like some people have theorized.
…what she lets on to knowing is pretty much anything to do with religion, and she justifies her nonchalance toward the party with an example from the Old Testament. I’m kind of confused by this statement.
Just because she’s not being obnoxious doesn’t mean she’s not being religious.
I think mercs meant that Joyce doesn’t take the rules to unnecessarily extreme levels, theres a difference between an extremist and someone who just strongly believes in christianity.
“Parties are okay because King David did it and God approved” is an extreme viewpoint, IMO. That is not a normal outlook on life. It’s also not very harmful or judgmental, which is what people normally expect from extreme religious dedication, but not actually required.
Actually, I’m pretty sure mercs had been talking about Joyce saying “drinking alcohol in the abstract doesn’t bother me.” There are a great amount of religious extremists that think drinking alcohol in and of itself is a sin. -shrugs-
Which originated from the Wild West days (or any frontier, really) when drinking was destroying any chance of a peaceful society. First, the temperance movements sprung up. And then, later, prohibitionists.
Reading church history, you’d be amazed how many “rules” were never a sin issue, but eventually people assumed they were.
I wouldn’t call that so much an extreme view. (particularly since normalcy is a term that seems in flux in philosophical spheres). it is A view, and while few people need to justify the desire to party, it’s not uncommon to get the one person who will say “i thought you were a (place faith here. Usually christian), they don’t do (activity).
On that case, having an answer for them like the above one, after having thought about it is a good move, and merely thoughtful, not extreme.
I was basically referring to the fact that she’s not going something along the lines of “Oh these people are partying and drinking, meaning they are sinful and shall burneth in Hell for all eternity!”
Scotty Van – I was referring to the fact that most people were theorizing that Joyce knew nothing about parties, and I saw she’ not being an extremist (An extremist Christian would not be found at a party like this. Never claimed she wasn’t being religious though)
JK9000 – How does her pulling from a Biblical story make her an extremist? I could understand that if you she only ever talks about Biblical verses, but in this case she wasn’t even the one who brought it up. Also, if having an opinion of something based on the Bible is being an extremist, then label me and extremist I guess. (If this last part is not entirely what you meant, please feel free to let me know so I may reply properly)
Yup and Jesus turned the water into NON-fermented wine. All the people at that party were wondering why they saved the good wine for last.
But yeah, I still have an odd time understanding why David did that. I mean I know he was celebrating for bringing the Arc of the Covenant back to Israel and he was doing it for the Lord, just not something I’d of done, in my underwear, in the streets, as a king. Probably the only part of any story in the Bible that makes the least amount of sense to me. Even the story of Rahab makes far more sense.
David did that to show humility. Basically, “I’m going to lower myself to give glory to God.” He put away his right as a king to wear fine clothes and humbled himself, basically. Michal got angry because she was embarrassed at what he was doing.
I find it really odd that you are able to say with certainty that Jesus turned water into non-fermented wine when the word used in the original text was a generic word for all wine, fermented or not.
there’s a song that i like that was inspired by that passage or a passage refering to that one that goes “I’ll become even more undignified than this. Some may think it’s foolishness…” it’s about giving everything dignity and pride included up to the Lord.
Alright. I’ve done some Googling and found the controversy over the meanings of the word oinos. I’m going to have to do more research, but I take back that comment for now.
No, he didn’t turn it into non-fermented wine. They ran OUT of wine, and when Jesus made water into wine, they bongoed at the host that they’d saved the good wine until later, which is supposed to be rude. BEHOLD, John 2:8-11 –
6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”
11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.
there are some religions who do not party, and some religions (like mine) who believe that God WANTS us to party, and dance, and otherwise celebrate and be a happy people.
Are you christian? If not, I don’t think the statements of your religion apply to the God in question, because despite having similar names and (possibly) similar roles, they’re not the same character/person, in my opinion. For example, if you don’t believe your god engineered a flood, then your opinions about your god don’t speak to the properties of any god that did such a thing.
I dunno. I honestly don’t know a terrible amount about the Bible. While I’ve read the asunadulteredasIcouldfind King James version in its entirety, I haven’t picked up one since I was like…12, maybe? It’s been a while. This story does ring a bell, though.
I have read other versions, but like I said, it was a long time ago and I didn’t read the other versions that thuroughly, since they didn’t belong to me.
That’s your opinion. Stating something definitively as ‘it’s not canon’ and ‘it’s propaganda’ isn’t cool.. a better way to phrase that would be “It’s my opinion that KJV is/isn’t”. Plenty of us christians think the KJV is just as holy as other versions.
Indeed its canon. From 2 Samuel 6:14-16 it describes the party that David was having when the Ark of the Covenant was brought into Jerusalem. Michal despised David for dancing around in an eph’od (his loin cloth) and celebrating this “occasion” after the death of her father Saul at David’s hands. And David for his part pretty much threw it in her face. Nothing like killing your wife’s father can cause this. Taken from the masoeric scrolls (Hebrew)
14 Wearing a linen ephod [Light linen covering for worship, arguable how much it covered/revealed, perhaps like a skirt with braces], David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, 15 while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.
[…]
20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”
21 David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.”
23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.
Kinda. That story was total wrongdoing on David’s part, BTW, and he was scolded by a prophet for doing it.
It started with an affair, though. He got her pregnant, so he called her husband home from the war and tried to get him to go in to her so he would think the baby was his. He refused, because his comrades in the battle weren’t able to enjoy the comforts of home, so he insisted on sleeping outside his door. So David had him stand at the front line and had everyone else move back, and he was killed. God was not happy about it, either.
King David had just brought the Ark of the Covenant back to Israel which prompted a celebration in the nation. It’s arguable how much he took off and perhaps it has been exaggerated a bit as to him being naked. Like it’s been said above, he was about half naked.
The one you mentioned IS pretty widely known. David for some reason didn’t go to battle even though he was supposed to. Went up to his rooftop, saw a lady bathing (mistake 1: Didn’t look away immediately) Invited her over and stupidly slept with her (mistake 2: Digging deeper)
Bathsheeba comes back and tells him that she’s with child. David panics (mistake 3: Doesn’t go to God about it and tries to fix it on his own) and asks her husband to come home. However he won’t go back home since it wouldn’t be appropriate. David is wroth with anger and gets him drunk, but he still won’t go home (Mistake 4: Bribery won’t work) David gets even angrier and tells the captain to place him on the forefront of the battle in which the man immediately is killed (Mistake 5: intentional murder)
The prophet Nathan comes and reveals what he did and even though David is truly and completely repentant, he still must suffer the consequences and the child born by Bathsheeba will die. David morns, weeps and prays through the time he’s born till he dies after 7 days.
Later on Bathsheeba ends up giving birth to Solomon and the rest is another story
Oh! And a part of the punishment is that his own sons will turn against each other and even one of them against David causing David to flee Israel for a time.
Digging deeper to find out who the hot naked bathing chick was not a mistake. Sleeping with her after finding out she’s married (much less married to one of your own guards) was.
Just get the operation
It wouldn’t be worth the international scandal of having the Queen dancing around in her underwear. Not to mention the aesthetics.
“You know what else I haven’t done in nearly a week’s worth of strips? Mention I was homeschooled! Hi, I’m Homeschooled, I mean Joyce.”
I think Joyce has figured out that a certain degree of self-deprecation works well for her. And it really does. But she’ll need to be able to vary her routine a bit more if she’s planning to get much further.
i’m adam, prince of eternia, and defender of the secrets of castle grayskull. this is cringer, my fearless friend. fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day i held aloft my magic sword and said, “by the power of grayskull! i have the power!” cringer became the mighty battle cat, and i became he-man, the most powerful man in the universe! only three others share this secret: our friends the sorceress, man-at-arms, and orko. together we defend castle grayskull from the evil forces of skeletor.
I think it’s appropriate if you look at it as a delayed response to his “I’m the son of a Pastor”. He’s given his explanation for being so Biblically knowledgeable, now it’s her turn.
Willis isn’t gonna tag him until he gets a name. I really hope this comic’s comments don’t devolve into name suggestions, because you know Willis will read through all of them and make sure not to use any of those names just to prevent “I told you so”s
What? No Anakin? No Lando calrissian? No Cave Johnson with a deal for you investors? I’m insulted.
Any way, his name is MELVIN.
And after he kills everyone at the party, and kidnaps Joyce, his friend ‘Cisco will take all the credit, and the bonus, and he’ll wonder why people don’t like him.
Davan
Pee Jee
Sigird
Benton Fraser
Doug
Rick Perry
Ayn Rand
Mitch Mclipless
Atshen
Tito
Scary Looker
Guybrush Threepwood
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat (laughs) (squeaker) Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mainwaring (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith
Sly Marbo
Kiki
Bun-Bun
Baldrick
Fisty
Jack Harkness
Buttercup
Glenn Beck
Jojo
I don’t think he actually is Ryan, although what do I know? I just think he has the same basic character design as Ryan and Jake Manley… Which is, you know, probably a bad sign.
I’ve known pastors’ children in both categories, but never really in the middle. There isn’t much of a middle ground for pastors’ kids because there’s a lot expected of them. Either they rebel outright, or they conform to the expectations. It’s kind of a dichotomy.
For the record, the biblical passage Joyce cites is II Samuel 6:20-23, and reads as follows in the New Revised Standard Version:
David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, ‘How the king of Israel honoured himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!’ David said to Michal, ‘It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honour.’ And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
Note also that Michal being “struck barren” isn’t the only possible interpretation of the last verse. Some interpret it to mean that her argument with David led to his no longer sleeping with her.
I dunno, old testament god was pretty free with the smitings. Barrenating a woman because she insulted his current favorite seems pretty in character to me.
First off the wine wasn’t fermented.There’s a difference between the two. You can still get drunk from the alcohol from non-fermented wine however it takes a lot more to do so. It’s why people quote on quote “SAVE” it for years and years on end. Noah, not sure how he got ahold of fermented wine, but he got drunk too, sometime after the flood, and made a fool of himself going completely naked. Ham came in and saw him in his tent, told Shem and Japeth who grabbed covering, shielded their eyes, and entered backwards into the tent to cover their father. When he woke up and realized what Ham had done, he said, (Though he shouldn’t have and has been a BIG mistake since because of it) “Cursed be Canaan (Ham’s son) and he shall serve the other nations. The tribe of Ham has the genealogy of Africa and the Middle East and India. Japeth ‘s tribe moved northern and northwestern to the places now Turkey and Europe, also to China and Japan as well. Shem is the tribe for Israel (however I think I may have gotten part of Japeth’s wrong)
Remember though, a little wine to a point is good for you.
Actually, according to historical studies I hear that while the alcoholic content was only -slightly- less in the wine that was around at the time- it was pretty easy to get sloshed on it- you didn’t have to drink THAT much more as you do today to get the same results.
Yeah, but the point remains that when we ritualistically cannibalize our Lord, we drink wine in order to drink his blood. Some protestant denominations allow you to substitute with grape juice, but a lot a churches mandate alcohol for the Eucharist, and as such can’t really out-and-out forbid the stuff.
When the Last Supper happened, Rabbi Jesus was partaking in his last Seder meal with his disciples, the cup offered up was one of the two served after the meal.
Jerusalem had many springs and several sources of clean water., so your point A has been rebutted.
ah hell…I hate having been pushed so far. Damn your readers, Willis!
(odds are you people know this, but I’ll feel better)
The wine and bread is symbolism.
We eat and drink wine and bread to live.
Jesus dying on the cross was to take our sin upon himself so that we may be saved by grace through faith and live eternally with God in Heaven.
wine and bread is what they were dining on that night because it was passover. the passage most people read as “do this in remembrance of me” more literally means something along the lines of do this with me. Most every Jew had celebrated Passover with wine and bread since the fleeing of Egypt much earlier and most Jews and Christians still do it nowadays. When you take communion it’s like your dining with the Lord in celebration of the gifts he has given you.
(I hope I got all that right I just got off work)
What those Christian denominations who frown on drinking frown on is drinking in excess, not all alcohol (that would be Islam).
Besides, when you take communion, it’s a mouthful, that’s not enough to get any kind of buzz out of it, and the only person who has the slightest chance of getting tipsy at mass is the eucharistic minister who drinks the leftover wine. AND taking the wine is not compulsory. You have to take the Eucharist, the bread, but the wine is optional and a lot of people pass on it; also, it tastes nasty.
I was joking when I said it yesterday, but I’m starting to think something bad will happen to Joyce. Probably not soon, but eventually, you can’t exactly get into a nice Christian girl’s pants on the first date.
It is one of those quintessential experiences that happen to a lot of girls their first year at college. When most girls first start college they are not really prepared to deal with Men as opposed to boys on the dating scene. Teenage boys are from a younger girls perspective odd creatures. One upon a time, they may have been normal people, but suddenly they feel different and dangerous. They all kind of come across as… Joe-ish. You know what they want, and sometime you might want to give it to them. There is a kind of honesty and simplicity to it. As teenagers boys don’t really have game, and if they have any it’s from doing something like reading a book by a douchebag like Mystery. Which usually just makes them come across as even more clumsy. When you start dealing with guys in their 20s though, things really change. They have experience and know how to hide what they’re after from girls that are inexperienced (like say a nice homeschooled girl) until ultimately a girl can find herself in a situation that’s really out of her depth. I don’t mean rape or anything, but sexual experiences you regret suck in their own special way. All of the girls I was friends with during my first couple of years of college (and myself if I’m honest about it) had at least one night we shared crying, drinking, playing Smash Bros, and talking til dawn about a breakup with a guy that didn’t take the relationship they were in as seriously as the girl. For the guy the relationship was “just for fun” (I.E. sex [to save someone else the trouble of saying it: With Your Mom, for the regular price of A Nickel]), but the girls in question always thought there was something at least a little serious going on. Making those kinds of mistakes is at least part of what college is about. My point, if I have one beyond making myself sound like a idiot, is that it happens, and I think this new guy is probably going to take Joyce to some very scary places for her. Which should be interesting. The thing with Joyce is that so much of her character is shaped by a worldview informed by her faith that for her character to develop her faith has to be tested.
Or I could be totally wrong and this guy is going to be kicked in the stones by Mike in a couple of strips and we’ll never see him again.
Yeah, but someone would need to be diabolical and devious enough to spike her sierra mist. That’s impossible with all these honest upstanding, law-abiding frat boys on the lookout for her well being.
Oh god. One of my friends has dated a few pastors sons in the past. (It just… sort of happened. Like she attracted pastor’s sons a lot for some reason). What utter pricks they all were too though. (One was a religious freak who eventually revealed himself as just being a couple of stops short from Crazy town. The others- When they rebelled against their parents they went all out and to hell with how anyone else they hurt in the process even when they didn’t hold the same beliefs as their parents. Half the time the parents weren’t that bad… granted they didn’t know my sexual orientation or that I was starting to question christianity/atheist at various points in time but eh…).
I’ve met possibly ONE pastor’s son who wasn’t actually that bad in his teens/early 20s (I had the same part time job as him and he was in my school a couple of years below me). I got on pretty well with him anyway and he seemed fun and all when I was there. And of course there must be other Pastor’s sons (and daughters) like that. Possibly my friend (and by extension me and the rest of my friends as she dated them) were unlucky.
Still this guy actually seems nice. Not an over-the-top compensating rebel nor a crazed religious freak… so far. So I guess there’s hope for him?
(There’s a chance that Willis will utterly shatter this to screw with us though of course).
Yeah, we preacher’s kids are a funny bunch. There’s a kind of pressure on us as kids that I’m not sure is present for kids whose parents have other jobs, a kind of visibility, expecially in congregations that have a strong youth program or that desperately want one – not that that excuses the whackjobs among us, but it kind of explains it.
For what it’s worth, this guy is kind of twigging my “crazy PK” senses; the better adjusted PKs are generally not the ones who feel the need to announce it within five minutes of meeting them.
I think so too! Plenty of people were acting like this meant she wasn’t developing at all, but to me, it seems like she realizes “Hey, best-socialized in my group doesn’t mean a whole lot,” and she’s starting to learn how to talk to “normal” people.
The nicest guy I met in college was the son of a Pastor. He was one of those rare gems who was kind, considerate and held compassion rather than tolerance for those who were different from him. He was, and still is, a good guy. As to whether this one is the same type of nice is yet to be seen, but I do wonder why he’s at the party if it doesn’t appear to be his kind of thing.
MAN the bible is crazy! I never heard that one before, though I skimmed the comments to see what people thought before asking “is that true?” Hilarious! Such simple ways to say “do this” or “don’t so this.” Dancing is cool ’cause someone got punshed for scolding someone that was dancing. End of story! Everybody party! God’s cool with it!
Um… the story calls them youths, not children. The word used in the original Hebrew which translated to youths was more apropos of teenagers. And they weren’t making fun of his baldness, they were basically wanting him to repeat what Elijah just did, go up to heaven. So, a gang of teenagers (at least 42 were there, because that’s how many were mauled by the two bears) see Elijah go to be with God, and they taunt Elisha to do the same… I’d be praying as well in that situation.
1) I’m not sure them being teenagers telling an old man to go to hell makes the mauling okay. The kids were jerks, but that’s still not really a proportional response.
2) Those are some really efficient bears.
1) Elisha just cursed them, no where is it stated he wished for them to be mauled by bears. Even if I was wrong about their ages (I’ve listened to several bible scholars through the years, and they’ve been wrong every now and then on some stuff), you have 40+ kids out there mocking a prophet of God. To clarify, though, the Hebrew term used for them is (נער קטן) or nearim ketannim, which was applied to Isaac at age 29, Joseph at 39, and Rehoboam at 40.
2) I like efficient bears.
Again, I’m not sure why it’s okay that God mauled them with bears. I mean, that was always my interpretation of the story anyway. It’s not like Elisha has control over bears, like he’s Magneto but with bears. Clearly God was on Elisha’s side and sent some bears. (And even if it was actually unrelated somehow to Elisha’s grumbling, it was still God letting many, many humans get mauled by bears, which is horrible.)
It’s not a good story, no matter how it’s interpreted. Lots of people died via bear for something that’s not equivalent to murder.
I think the idea is that in mocking one of God’s chosen prophets they’re mocking God. Which apparently is a big deal. I kind of thought God was supposed to have a sense of humor. Which much like his sense of mercy is characterized with “appalling strangeness”. So maybe it was both funny and kind in the grand scheme of things, or not.
Well, that really depends on how you view god’s role in the situation. If you think god chose to send the bears, yes, he’s an asshole. If you think the bears came because Elisha cursed them, then Elisha’s the asshole.
Ya know, in the end, I’m seeing that there was a badass story about some kids gettin’ mauled by magic bears, so I think we all win in this situation. Go bible! Never disappoints in the action department.
i prefer to think of them as children because honestly, who over the age of 13 is going to think of “baldy” as the ultimate insult? plus it’s just much crazier to think of god (or one of his prophets) getting so bent out of shape over a dumb nickname.
I seem to remember another story about a bunch of kids being ripped apart by bears for making fun of a bald old man. And wasn’t there something about one of Noah’s sons being cursed along with all his progeny for trying to cover the old man up when he was laying naked sleeping off a drunken binge?
Don’t tell anybody, but they’re a rumor going around that he’s drowned civilizations, hammered countries with plagues, and blasted cities with fire – and turned people to salt for having the audacity to glance back at the pyrotechnics behind them. Basically, in all cases, because he was miffed and wanted to make examples of people.
The son and his progeny who were cursed wasn’t because he tried to cover up Noah’s naked drunkenness. He saw his dad naked, and somewhat implied from the comment that when dad woke up he knew what happened (never heard of someone being passed out and waking up to know who just seen them and nothing else), that Ham had basically done something sexually perverse with his father’s unconscious body.
“the only one who could ever reach me
was the son of a preacher man
the only boy who could ever teach me
was the son of a preacher man
yes he was, he was, mmmm yes he was”-(currently playing in Joyces head right now)
The thought that I keep having is: In a sweater-vest that’s Ryan, just as plainly that’s Jake Manley if he’s in a suit, and if you put him in that sweater it’s Tycho. So I have to ask, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT A CON WILLIS?!?!
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Holy crap, new characters?
Please be permanent.
He doesn’t even have a tag! Sure he’s not named, but he doesn’t even have a tag like “Christian party-goer.” Face it. He’s going to die. Very soon.
Either he’s doomed to be a useless background character, or there’s a good reason Willis isn’t telling us his name. There are several background characters that have only appeared in one or two strips, and not even had a speaking role, so I’m guessing it’s the latter.
What I wanna know is why he looks like danny’s big brother…
Who?
I don’t think he meant an actual character, just that “christian party-goer” looks like an older version of Danny.
Who? I can’t recall a character by that name playing a part in the comic.
Is this a joke or do you really not remember that Danny is Joe’s roommate right now?
Because if it’s a joke, you really do need to explain it to us.
It’s a joke about the fact that Danny has been demoted to an extra.
That’s if he’s not a hallucination.
Oh craps, you’re right! She’s been Christ-acid-roofied!!!
Maybe he is the new arch-vilain
The street term for that is “Touched by an angel”
I thought “Touched by an angel” was the street term for what happens after the roofie
And we can say this because we’ve only seen him in two strips? Too soon, my friend.
Absolutely not! Anyone with a speaking role in more than one comic is bound to become recurring, if not a major character.
Plus, he’s been tagged.
Speaking of useless background characters, there seems to be a Shortpa-I mean Galasso’s Pizza employee getting owned by somebody in an orange long-sleeve shirt.
Or perhaps the tag is to be added at a later date retroactively? You know George Lucas style?
What are you talking about? He’s Pastorson. He said it right there.
So…like that guy from I still know what you did last summer?
Lemme help you with that though….
MELVIN Pastorson.
Isn’t that right, MELVIN?!?
Hallucination.
“here comes a new challenger!”
Not a new character, in the walkyverse he was some asshole who had sex with Ruth while she was babysitting Billie and Walky, the latter of which got abducted by aliens
That dude wants to show Joyce his Bible, if you know what I mean.
Yes, his hollowed-out bible with a nickel inside.
And then Joyce’s kids will hear about it from their dad 15 years later.
Owait, nevermind, he’s not Mike.
For some reason that reminds me of a time when I went to a really large christian store and asked to see their nativity scenes, and then clarified saying I was hoping to find some more historically accurate ones that weren’t all white but better reflected his “actual ethnic heritage”.
That was a laugh and a half watching them run around looking for ones that weren’t white washed.
Classy.
There is just nothing more witty than poking the faithful.
I for one, am waiting to see how long our beloved author allows this interaction to stay (relatively) clean.
I hope for a reasonably long time.
Mel Gibson went to so much trouble to have them speaking Aramaic in Passion of the Christ, all for the ‘authenticity’ and ‘accuracy’, but Jesus was STILL white.
Jews are white. Jews have always been white. Have you ever been to Israel? Three wise men may not have been white, but the Jews in the nativity scene should have been.
finally. Thank you.
Israel now is whitewashed because a bunch of European Jews moved there around 1947. Original Jews would have probably looked a lot more like Egyptians (think how long they lived in Egypt, per examplar) – not Sub-Saharan dark, but olive-to-tan skin, dark hair, dark eyes. Not sandy brown hair and “three inches south of Iceland” white.
Not to mention, 40 days in the damn desert, he would have had a deep, deep tan.
No, Jews are middle eastern. However they’ve interbred with gentiles for so long that they’ve taken on a lighter skin tone.
There is never much description of what anybody looks like in the bible. In the Apocrypha there are some depictions though. According to them all of the assorted Marys are basically described as gingers, and Jesus is said to have had ashy skin and auburn hair (a combination that left me thinking the first time I read it that Morgan Freeman is good casting for God). Jesus was apparently not a good looking guy – he was supposed to have been short, stocky, and with bad facial scars- it’s actually mentioned in the bible that after the resurrection no one could recognize him at first glace because while he looked the same he was suddenly beautiful. The idea of Jesus being black comes from Revelations where he is described as having “skin like coal and hair like wool”.
I’m not sure his motives are particularly ulterior. This could be as simple as, “hey, you’re the only other person at this party not getting wasted. We’re not even sure he’s all that straight-laced; maybe he just doesn’t like alcohol (I know I don’t, personally). Maybe he’s the son of a pastor who’s a bit on the extreme side, and as children often do, he’s swung in the opposite direction.
Also, young men are in fact capable of approaching an attractive woman without sleazing their way into her pants. Especially if they’re gay, but even if not.
Yeah, what he said! All yall need to leave MELVIN alone. He’s sensitive.
And he’s busy wonderin’ how ta kill all dese peeps so I can get mah bonus!
When I went to Uni, the kids that went the wildest were from the super religious families. It seemed like very pastor’s daughter was discovering the joys of alcohol and sex by thanksgiving break.
And with this comic, Joyce has shown that she knows more than what she lets on. Also, good to see Joyce not being extremely religious like some people have theorized.
…what she lets on to knowing is pretty much anything to do with religion, and she justifies her nonchalance toward the party with an example from the Old Testament. I’m kind of confused by this statement.
Just because she’s not being obnoxious doesn’t mean she’s not being religious.
Wait, a chick cites a little known Biblical story to justify her opinions, and what you pull away from that is that she’s NOT extremely religious?
I think mercs meant that Joyce doesn’t take the rules to unnecessarily extreme levels, theres a difference between an extremist and someone who just strongly believes in christianity.
“Parties are okay because King David did it and God approved” is an extreme viewpoint, IMO. That is not a normal outlook on life. It’s also not very harmful or judgmental, which is what people normally expect from extreme religious dedication, but not actually required.
Actually, I’m pretty sure mercs had been talking about Joyce saying “drinking alcohol in the abstract doesn’t bother me.” There are a great amount of religious extremists that think drinking alcohol in and of itself is a sin. -shrugs-
Which originated from the Wild West days (or any frontier, really) when drinking was destroying any chance of a peaceful society. First, the temperance movements sprung up. And then, later, prohibitionists.
Reading church history, you’d be amazed how many “rules” were never a sin issue, but eventually people assumed they were.
I wouldn’t call that so much an extreme view. (particularly since normalcy is a term that seems in flux in philosophical spheres). it is A view, and while few people need to justify the desire to party, it’s not uncommon to get the one person who will say “i thought you were a (place faith here. Usually christian), they don’t do (activity).
On that case, having an answer for them like the above one, after having thought about it is a good move, and merely thoughtful, not extreme.
I was basically referring to the fact that she’s not going something along the lines of “Oh these people are partying and drinking, meaning they are sinful and shall burneth in Hell for all eternity!”
Scotty Van – I was referring to the fact that most people were theorizing that Joyce knew nothing about parties, and I saw she’ not being an extremist (An extremist Christian would not be found at a party like this. Never claimed she wasn’t being religious though)
JK9000 – How does her pulling from a Biblical story make her an extremist? I could understand that if you she only ever talks about Biblical verses, but in this case she wasn’t even the one who brought it up. Also, if having an opinion of something based on the Bible is being an extremist, then label me and extremist I guess. (If this last part is not entirely what you meant, please feel free to let me know so I may reply properly)
Are you suggesting religious people don’t party? I remember a biblical story about one party that ran out of wine…
Yup and Jesus turned the water into NON-fermented wine. All the people at that party were wondering why they saved the good wine for last.
But yeah, I still have an odd time understanding why David did that. I mean I know he was celebrating for bringing the Arc of the Covenant back to Israel and he was doing it for the Lord, just not something I’d of done, in my underwear, in the streets, as a king. Probably the only part of any story in the Bible that makes the least amount of sense to me. Even the story of Rahab makes far more sense.
David did that to show humility. Basically, “I’m going to lower myself to give glory to God.” He put away his right as a king to wear fine clothes and humbled himself, basically. Michal got angry because she was embarrassed at what he was doing.
King Canute did it better.
I don’t think it was non fermented wine. Just because of the time period, fermented drinks are less likely to make you sick.
Hey, if public nudity is good enough for mathematicians, loincloths are good enough for monarchs.
I find it really odd that you are able to say with certainty that Jesus turned water into non-fermented wine when the word used in the original text was a generic word for all wine, fermented or not.
Yeah, I was wondering this as well.
Worship has the unique quality oftentimes of being euphoric. Consider people who do the wave and paint themselves at football games.
there’s a song that i like that was inspired by that passage or a passage refering to that one that goes “I’ll become even more undignified than this. Some may think it’s foolishness…” it’s about giving everything dignity and pride included up to the Lord.
WTH is “non-fermented” wine and what makes you think people in the first century AD would think it was the “good” stuff?
Alright. I’ve done some Googling and found the controversy over the meanings of the word oinos. I’m going to have to do more research, but I take back that comment for now.
No, he didn’t turn it into non-fermented wine. They ran OUT of wine, and when Jesus made water into wine, they bongoed at the host that they’d saved the good wine until later, which is supposed to be rude. BEHOLD, John 2:8-11 –
6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”
11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.
I meant John 2:6-11
Catholics party like crazy, but many of the protestant sects discourage drinking and gambling.
there are some religions who do not party, and some religions (like mine) who believe that God WANTS us to party, and dance, and otherwise celebrate and be a happy people.
Are you christian? If not, I don’t think the statements of your religion apply to the God in question, because despite having similar names and (possibly) similar roles, they’re not the same character/person, in my opinion. For example, if you don’t believe your god engineered a flood, then your opinions about your god don’t speak to the properties of any god that did such a thing.
Technically from what I understand Jews, Christians, and Muslims all share the same God.
I don’t remember king david doing that.
It’s one of those things you learn if you read the original texts (or as close as you can to them via translations and the like).
Cannon or Apocrypha?
I dunno. I honestly don’t know a terrible amount about the Bible. While I’ve read the asunadulteredasIcouldfind King James version in its entirety, I haven’t picked up one since I was like…12, maybe? It’s been a while. This story does ring a bell, though.
KJV does not count as a bible. It’s propaganda.
I have read other versions, but like I said, it was a long time ago and I didn’t read the other versions that thuroughly, since they didn’t belong to me.
2 Samuel, if you’re looking.
It’s Canon. I think it’s in King James Version, but I can’t remember what book.
It’s a very popular story at my church.
If it’s KJV it’s not Canon.
That’s your opinion. Stating something definitively as ‘it’s not canon’ and ‘it’s propaganda’ isn’t cool.. a better way to phrase that would be “It’s my opinion that KJV is/isn’t”. Plenty of us christians think the KJV is just as holy as other versions.
It’s in every version, actually. Or at least in every non-Catholic version I’ve read, most of which are direct translations from Hebrew.
It’s canon. It’s somewhere in the Samuel/Kings/Chronicles section. I could be more specific if I was home, but that’ll have to do for now.
Indeed its canon. From 2 Samuel 6:14-16 it describes the party that David was having when the Ark of the Covenant was brought into Jerusalem. Michal despised David for dancing around in an eph’od (his loin cloth) and celebrating this “occasion” after the death of her father Saul at David’s hands. And David for his part pretty much threw it in her face. Nothing like killing your wife’s father can cause this. Taken from the masoeric scrolls (Hebrew)
2 Samuel 6
14 Wearing a linen ephod [Light linen covering for worship, arguable how much it covered/revealed, perhaps like a skirt with braces], David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, 15 while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.
[…]
20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”
21 David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.”
23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.
Or if you’ve seen Footloose (at least up to the “wife struck barren” part).
I know he had the naked chick he saw husband killed and married her.
Kinda. That story was total wrongdoing on David’s part, BTW, and he was scolded by a prophet for doing it.
It started with an affair, though. He got her pregnant, so he called her husband home from the war and tried to get him to go in to her so he would think the baby was his. He refused, because his comrades in the battle weren’t able to enjoy the comforts of home, so he insisted on sleeping outside his door. So David had him stand at the front line and had everyone else move back, and he was killed. God was not happy about it, either.
King David had just brought the Ark of the Covenant back to Israel which prompted a celebration in the nation. It’s arguable how much he took off and perhaps it has been exaggerated a bit as to him being naked. Like it’s been said above, he was about half naked.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWPbnWMpMiA
@Mkvenner
The one you mentioned IS pretty widely known. David for some reason didn’t go to battle even though he was supposed to. Went up to his rooftop, saw a lady bathing (mistake 1: Didn’t look away immediately) Invited her over and stupidly slept with her (mistake 2: Digging deeper)
Bathsheeba comes back and tells him that she’s with child. David panics (mistake 3: Doesn’t go to God about it and tries to fix it on his own) and asks her husband to come home. However he won’t go back home since it wouldn’t be appropriate. David is wroth with anger and gets him drunk, but he still won’t go home (Mistake 4: Bribery won’t work) David gets even angrier and tells the captain to place him on the forefront of the battle in which the man immediately is killed (Mistake 5: intentional murder)
The prophet Nathan comes and reveals what he did and even though David is truly and completely repentant, he still must suffer the consequences and the child born by Bathsheeba will die. David morns, weeps and prays through the time he’s born till he dies after 7 days.
Later on Bathsheeba ends up giving birth to Solomon and the rest is another story
Oh! And a part of the punishment is that his own sons will turn against each other and even one of them against David causing David to flee Israel for a time.
Digging deeper to find out who the hot naked bathing chick was not a mistake. Sleeping with her after finding out she’s married (much less married to one of your own guards) was.
The Bible refers to an “ephod” which is a priestly undergarment that’s basically a fancy apron.
Fight! Fight!
I was wondering if anyone else noticed panel three. I nearly spit tea across my monitor. Excellent juxtaposition.
In other words, if you bongo about the appropriateness of a party, you will never have to worry about contraceptives again.
Only if you bongo about a king doing it!
Damn, kings are so hard to find, I wonder if it works with a queen… mhmmmm
Depends on the queen.
Just get the operation
It wouldn’t be worth the international scandal of having the Queen dancing around in her underwear. Not to mention the aesthetics.
Also, Holy Metamoorian Fear-Princes. I drop first comment over in Shortpacked! and come over here and see that there’s already half a dozen.
I like how there’s a dude getting punched in the same panel that Joyce talks about David’s wife being struck barren. Perhaps he was struck sterile?
What?….Ooooohhhhh.
Looks more like he got punched in the FAAAACE.
For a nickel?
Only if he is a mother…
He’s prolly a mother-something…does that count?
Mother, Jugs, & Speed?
. . . aaand here we go, I knew someone would do this. How much time do you spend building avatars anyway, PM?
From when I find a picture I want to use, it only takes maybe 5 mins on photoshop, if I draw a pic from scratch, it takes me ages.
I’m thinking it means Mike has arrived
Punch-guy was in the background of the comic before the last one
And he was hit by someone in the comic before this!
WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY COMIC
Don’t worry he’ll be dead soon.
Hopefuly.
Or arrested.
WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHY DO I HATE HIM ALREADY? D:<
WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHY ARE WE SHOUTING
BECAUSE WE’RE MAD AS HELL AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!
A LOGICAL AND WELL THOUGHT-OUT RESPONSE.
I WAS ONLY YELLING BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS!
I like to belong T_T
I just can’t wait to next summer when i will visit US at last.
Wow you picked the worst time to visit.
NOT IF THEY’RE BRINGING MONEY.
ARE YOU BRINGING MONEY? AND IF SO WILL YOU BUY OUR STUFF?
Probably not. We won’t even buy our stuff.
I was actually referring to upcoming storm of xenophobia and subtle racism.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUUUUUT!
BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW…
VOTE DESANTO!!!!!
SHE’LL LET YOU PUNCH THAT GUY IN THE BACKGROUND FOR A NICKEL!!!!!
Right you’re done move along, please.
“YOU HAVE INTERFERED WITH THE PRIMAL FORCES OF NATURE, MR. BEALE, AND I WON’T HAVE IT!”
I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!
YEAH! BURNING PEOPLE! YOU SAY WHAT WE’RE ALL THINKING!
I have no idea why you’re shouting. But he is obviously Billy Ray, since he’s the son of a preacher man.
I kind of adore this guy…
He’s just kind of amusing. I think it’s his facial expressions. XD
“You know what else I haven’t done in nearly a week’s worth of strips? Mention I was homeschooled! Hi, I’m Homeschooled, I mean Joyce.”
I think Joyce has figured out that a certain degree of self-deprecation works well for her. And it really does. But she’ll need to be able to vary her routine a bit more if she’s planning to get much further.
I’m Batman.
Hi, I’m Daisy!
I’m a-pimp-named-slickback
i’m adam, prince of eternia, and defender of the secrets of castle grayskull. this is cringer, my fearless friend. fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day i held aloft my magic sword and said, “by the power of grayskull! i have the power!” cringer became the mighty battle cat, and i became he-man, the most powerful man in the universe! only three others share this secret: our friends the sorceress, man-at-arms, and orko. together we defend castle grayskull from the evil forces of skeletor.
Hi adam! I’m skeletor!
And thanks for telling me that, but did you forget we are on television, now the entire planet knows your secret.
I am Animal, and I harbor Perverse Sexual Lust.
I think it’s appropriate if you look at it as a delayed response to his “I’m the son of a Pastor”. He’s given his explanation for being so Biblically knowledgeable, now it’s her turn.
Well, I certainly started to ship this quickly.
Willis isn’t gonna tag him until he gets a name. I really hope this comic’s comments don’t devolve into name suggestions, because you know Willis will read through all of them and make sure not to use any of those names just to prevent “I told you so”s
-Warning for mentioning Shortpacked-
Amber’s baby’s temporary name for the character sheet was in the comments.
That’s already happened. It’s been happening since his introduction.
Quick, everybody list every name you can think of! GOGOGO!
Aaron!
Agatha!
Alan!
Alec!
Alex!
Alfred!
Alicia!
Allison!
Aethelred!
Batman!
Cthulhu!
Mordred!
Neelix!
Konrad Adenauer!
Spatula!
Warwick Davis!
Count Chocula!
Spartacus!
Elvis!
Wilhelmina W. Witchiepoo!
David Willis!
The Hamburglar!
Yup, I think that pretty well covers it.
Crap, I forgot Tony Iommi.
What? No Anakin? No Lando calrissian? No Cave Johnson with a deal for you investors? I’m insulted.
Any way, his name is MELVIN.
And after he kills everyone at the party, and kidnaps Joyce, his friend ‘Cisco will take all the credit, and the bonus, and he’ll wonder why people don’t like him.
Isn’t that right, “MELVIN?”
Davan
Pee Jee
Sigird
Benton Fraser
Doug
Rick Perry
Ayn Rand
Mitch Mclipless
Atshen
Tito
Scary Looker
Guybrush Threepwood
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat (laughs) (squeaker) Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mainwaring (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith
Sly Marbo
Kiki
Bun-Bun
Baldrick
Fisty
Jack Harkness
Buttercup
Glenn Beck
Jojo
I think Mike is in attendance.
If this is Ryan then I hope he’s not such a prick in this continuity.
I don’t think he actually is Ryan, although what do I know? I just think he has the same basic character design as Ryan and Jake Manley… Which is, you know, probably a bad sign.
Jake wasn’t that bad. He just wasn’t bright enough to get out of the way of Robin’s ultimate sugar high. This guy seems more on the ball.
um. he’s even wearing the same shirt as ryan.
as in, he probably is ryan.
this isn’t looking too good for joyce
I don’t know, if he was… wouldn’t he be tagged already?
If Mike was drunk the whole time, wouldn’t he have been tagged “Drunk Mike” the whole time?
If he’s Ryan, he’s gonna teach Joyce not to be so trusting.
Go go friendship?
Whoop, noticed someone getting punched in the last panel. Importanance?
The party don’t start ’till Mike walks in.
+1
But…isn’t mike a happy drunk?
…prolly just had a sierra mist.
.. i am totally down to dance in my skivvies infront of all of isreal.. im just saying
You know what they say, pastor’s kids are always the wildest.
Yes, I’m totally waiting for the reveal that he’s trying to get in her pants.
Or that he’s gay.
Or both?
He thinks she’s hung?
i have to respectfully disagree, having dated pastors children they are not the wildest.
I’ve known pastors’ children in both categories, but never really in the middle. There isn’t much of a middle ground for pastors’ kids because there’s a lot expected of them. Either they rebel outright, or they conform to the expectations. It’s kind of a dichotomy.
i can agree with that.
For the record, the biblical passage Joyce cites is II Samuel 6:20-23, and reads as follows in the New Revised Standard Version:
Note also that Michal being “struck barren” isn’t the only possible interpretation of the last verse. Some interpret it to mean that her argument with David led to his no longer sleeping with her.
See that makes more sense.
I dunno, old testament god was pretty free with the smitings. Barrenating a woman because she insulted his current favorite seems pretty in character to me.
Hard to depict Christianity as anti-alcohol when their messiah had freaking wine for blood.
First off the wine wasn’t fermented.There’s a difference between the two. You can still get drunk from the alcohol from non-fermented wine however it takes a lot more to do so. It’s why people quote on quote “SAVE” it for years and years on end. Noah, not sure how he got ahold of fermented wine, but he got drunk too, sometime after the flood, and made a fool of himself going completely naked. Ham came in and saw him in his tent, told Shem and Japeth who grabbed covering, shielded their eyes, and entered backwards into the tent to cover their father. When he woke up and realized what Ham had done, he said, (Though he shouldn’t have and has been a BIG mistake since because of it) “Cursed be Canaan (Ham’s son) and he shall serve the other nations. The tribe of Ham has the genealogy of Africa and the Middle East and India. Japeth ‘s tribe moved northern and northwestern to the places now Turkey and Europe, also to China and Japan as well. Shem is the tribe for Israel (however I think I may have gotten part of Japeth’s wrong)
Remember though, a little wine to a point is good for you.
Actually, according to historical studies I hear that while the alcoholic content was only -slightly- less in the wine that was around at the time- it was pretty easy to get sloshed on it- you didn’t have to drink THAT much more as you do today to get the same results.
When wine isn’t fermented it’s called grape juice.
I would have gone with “really crappy wine”
He didn’t have wine for blood. He had regular blood like everyone else.
“We’ve secretly replaced the Saviour’s blood with Chateau Lafitte Rothschild 1982. Let’s see if He can tell the difference.”
Yeah, but the point remains that when we ritualistically cannibalize our Lord, we drink wine in order to drink his blood. Some protestant denominations allow you to substitute with grape juice, but a lot a churches mandate alcohol for the Eucharist, and as such can’t really out-and-out forbid the stuff.
Oh jeez.
Okay, the reason for this is insanely simple, and it’s twofold. Ready?
A) When the last supper happened, the safest thing they had to drink was fermented wine, because water wasn’t very plentiful and often very dirty.
B) It’s red. And it’s dark. It’s the closest thing that LOOKS like blood that you can drink.
Wine was the most logical choice, and it kinda bugs the hell out of me when people go “herp derp Jesus had wine blood.”
Oh you…
When the Last Supper happened, Rabbi Jesus was partaking in his last Seder meal with his disciples, the cup offered up was one of the two served after the meal.
Jerusalem had many springs and several sources of clean water., so your point A has been rebutted.
ah hell…I hate having been pushed so far. Damn your readers, Willis!
(odds are you people know this, but I’ll feel better)
The wine and bread is symbolism.
We eat and drink wine and bread to live.
Jesus dying on the cross was to take our sin upon himself so that we may be saved by grace through faith and live eternally with God in Heaven.
wine and bread is what they were dining on that night because it was passover. the passage most people read as “do this in remembrance of me” more literally means something along the lines of do this with me. Most every Jew had celebrated Passover with wine and bread since the fleeing of Egypt much earlier and most Jews and Christians still do it nowadays. When you take communion it’s like your dining with the Lord in celebration of the gifts he has given you.
(I hope I got all that right I just got off work)
Then you shouldn’t. Cause obviously it’s not.
It is pro-self control though.
What those Christian denominations who frown on drinking frown on is drinking in excess, not all alcohol (that would be Islam).
Besides, when you take communion, it’s a mouthful, that’s not enough to get any kind of buzz out of it, and the only person who has the slightest chance of getting tipsy at mass is the eucharistic minister who drinks the leftover wine. AND taking the wine is not compulsory. You have to take the Eucharist, the bread, but the wine is optional and a lot of people pass on it; also, it tastes nasty.
THERE GOES JOYCE WITH THAT WACKY CHARACTER DEPTH.
Joyce has met a normal-seeming nice man with similar views to her and is having a good time. In a Willis strip.
Something BAD must be going to happen.
I was joking when I said it yesterday, but I’m starting to think something bad will happen to Joyce. Probably not soon, but eventually, you can’t exactly get into a nice Christian girl’s pants on the first date.
It is one of those quintessential experiences that happen to a lot of girls their first year at college. When most girls first start college they are not really prepared to deal with Men as opposed to boys on the dating scene. Teenage boys are from a younger girls perspective odd creatures. One upon a time, they may have been normal people, but suddenly they feel different and dangerous. They all kind of come across as… Joe-ish. You know what they want, and sometime you might want to give it to them. There is a kind of honesty and simplicity to it. As teenagers boys don’t really have game, and if they have any it’s from doing something like reading a book by a douchebag like Mystery. Which usually just makes them come across as even more clumsy. When you start dealing with guys in their 20s though, things really change. They have experience and know how to hide what they’re after from girls that are inexperienced (like say a nice homeschooled girl) until ultimately a girl can find herself in a situation that’s really out of her depth. I don’t mean rape or anything, but sexual experiences you regret suck in their own special way. All of the girls I was friends with during my first couple of years of college (and myself if I’m honest about it) had at least one night we shared crying, drinking, playing Smash Bros, and talking til dawn about a breakup with a guy that didn’t take the relationship they were in as seriously as the girl. For the guy the relationship was “just for fun” (I.E. sex [to save someone else the trouble of saying it: With Your Mom, for the regular price of A Nickel]), but the girls in question always thought there was something at least a little serious going on. Making those kinds of mistakes is at least part of what college is about. My point, if I have one beyond making myself sound like a idiot, is that it happens, and I think this new guy is probably going to take Joyce to some very scary places for her. Which should be interesting. The thing with Joyce is that so much of her character is shaped by a worldview informed by her faith that for her character to develop her faith has to be tested.
Or I could be totally wrong and this guy is going to be kicked in the stones by Mike in a couple of strips and we’ll never see him again.
Or willis could make him a guy that doesn’t try any of those things, and they’ll gave meaningful conversation with each other, I hope I hope I hope…
…but even if that happens joyce’ll probably scare him off with talks of marriage.
Calling it now:
THEY GONNA FUCK.
They already did. Between panels.
What are they, Weeping Angels?
Don’t even blink!
We must have blinked!
Well, he does look like Ethan…and Joyce wanted to marry Ethan a while ago…and sex is for married people…
They’d have to marry first. And this ain’t vegas!
I am suspicious that Joyce is getting played by someone who knows about the bible but is more interested in, well, playing.
I was thinking that. Hoping not, but thinking it’s certainly possible and plausible.
I still uphold that he is a hallucination.
Yeah, but someone would need to be diabolical and devious enough to spike her sierra mist. That’s impossible with all these honest upstanding, law-abiding frat boys on the lookout for her well being.
Aww man, we’re missing the fight!
It took until your comment for anyone to bring it up! It was the first thing I noticed about this strip..
I smell a couple.
A couple of what?
Ugh. Of course.
Guy getting punched in the background
Sometimes, the background events are the funniest things.
lol agreed
Joyce is turning out to be surprisingly well-adjusted.
ENSEMBLE DARKHORSE.
I don’t care for him, though. Boring.
Well the only types of Joyce we’ve gotten are boring, judgmental, and naiive. Right now, she’s being boring too.
I have this nagging feeling in the back of my neck, that Pastor Boy here will end up trying to take advantage of Joyce in some way.
Is that… (the former congressman) Jacob Manley??
Sure looks a lot like him.
I may regret this later on, but I want to marry Pastor Boy.
Hey! MELVIN is between women at the moment.
Pastor’s son
…
Oh god. One of my friends has dated a few pastors sons in the past. (It just… sort of happened. Like she attracted pastor’s sons a lot for some reason). What utter pricks they all were too though. (One was a religious freak who eventually revealed himself as just being a couple of stops short from Crazy town. The others- When they rebelled against their parents they went all out and to hell with how anyone else they hurt in the process even when they didn’t hold the same beliefs as their parents. Half the time the parents weren’t that bad… granted they didn’t know my sexual orientation or that I was starting to question christianity/atheist at various points in time but eh…).
I’ve met possibly ONE pastor’s son who wasn’t actually that bad in his teens/early 20s (I had the same part time job as him and he was in my school a couple of years below me). I got on pretty well with him anyway and he seemed fun and all when I was there. And of course there must be other Pastor’s sons (and daughters) like that. Possibly my friend (and by extension me and the rest of my friends as she dated them) were unlucky.
Still this guy actually seems nice. Not an over-the-top compensating rebel nor a crazed religious freak… so far. So I guess there’s hope for him?
(There’s a chance that Willis will utterly shatter this to screw with us though of course).
Yeah, we preacher’s kids are a funny bunch. There’s a kind of pressure on us as kids that I’m not sure is present for kids whose parents have other jobs, a kind of visibility, expecially in congregations that have a strong youth program or that desperately want one – not that that excuses the whackjobs among us, but it kind of explains it.
For what it’s worth, this guy is kind of twigging my “crazy PK” senses; the better adjusted PKs are generally not the ones who feel the need to announce it within five minutes of meeting them.
I can’t believe no one has made a single Son Of A Preacher Man joke…
What do you mean no one? Ain’t you someone?
Do you really WANT people to joke about “what he’ll teach her”, and how he plans to”reach”her?
It was the first thing that popped into my head, quite frankly.
Closeted psycho with a deep rooted obsession for monkey master?
I just now noticed that he looks a bit like Leslie. The eyes, ears, nose, and hairstyle are all similar.
ISN’T HE EVAN FROM MCAWESOME?!LOVER OF CHAD?!AM I RIGHT?WHAT CHRISTINATY SAYS ABOUT GAYS ANYWAY?
Depends on how you want to interpret it. It ain’t really clear-cut.
Despite what some sects might have you believe.
I like this new, self-aware Joyce. It’s a positive development.
I think so too! Plenty of people were acting like this meant she wasn’t developing at all, but to me, it seems like she realizes “Hey, best-socialized in my group doesn’t mean a whole lot,” and she’s starting to learn how to talk to “normal” people.
joyce has become self-aware? we’re doomed.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while now… but doesn’t that guy look a lot like the Male!Joyce from way back when?
(Graagh, can’t find link.)
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Or, you know, a series of quasi-romantic mishaps and misunderstandings, all coming together in one final dramatic catastrophe. Whichever.
The nicest guy I met in college was the son of a Pastor. He was one of those rare gems who was kind, considerate and held compassion rather than tolerance for those who were different from him. He was, and still is, a good guy. As to whether this one is the same type of nice is yet to be seen, but I do wonder why he’s at the party if it doesn’t appear to be his kind of thing.
MAN the bible is crazy! I never heard that one before, though I skimmed the comments to see what people thought before asking “is that true?” Hilarious! Such simple ways to say “do this” or “don’t so this.” Dancing is cool ’cause someone got punshed for scolding someone that was dancing. End of story! Everybody party! God’s cool with it!
my favorite bible story is the one where elisha summoned she-bears to maul dozens of children because they made fun of his baldness.
2 kings 2:23-24 if you’re curious.
Um… the story calls them youths, not children. The word used in the original Hebrew which translated to youths was more apropos of teenagers. And they weren’t making fun of his baldness, they were basically wanting him to repeat what Elijah just did, go up to heaven. So, a gang of teenagers (at least 42 were there, because that’s how many were mauled by the two bears) see Elijah go to be with God, and they taunt Elisha to do the same… I’d be praying as well in that situation.
1) I’m not sure them being teenagers telling an old man to go to hell makes the mauling okay. The kids were jerks, but that’s still not really a proportional response.
2) Those are some really efficient bears.
1) Elisha just cursed them, no where is it stated he wished for them to be mauled by bears. Even if I was wrong about their ages (I’ve listened to several bible scholars through the years, and they’ve been wrong every now and then on some stuff), you have 40+ kids out there mocking a prophet of God. To clarify, though, the Hebrew term used for them is (נער קטן) or nearim ketannim, which was applied to Isaac at age 29, Joseph at 39, and Rehoboam at 40.
2) I like efficient bears.
Again, I’m not sure why it’s okay that God mauled them with bears. I mean, that was always my interpretation of the story anyway. It’s not like Elisha has control over bears, like he’s Magneto but with bears. Clearly God was on Elisha’s side and sent some bears. (And even if it was actually unrelated somehow to Elisha’s grumbling, it was still God letting many, many humans get mauled by bears, which is horrible.)
It’s not a good story, no matter how it’s interpreted. Lots of people died via bear for something that’s not equivalent to murder.
I think the idea is that in mocking one of God’s chosen prophets they’re mocking God. Which apparently is a big deal. I kind of thought God was supposed to have a sense of humor. Which much like his sense of mercy is characterized with “appalling strangeness”. So maybe it was both funny and kind in the grand scheme of things, or not.
Well, that really depends on how you view god’s role in the situation. If you think god chose to send the bears, yes, he’s an asshole. If you think the bears came because Elisha cursed them, then Elisha’s the asshole.
Ya know, in the end, I’m seeing that there was a badass story about some kids gettin’ mauled by magic bears, so I think we all win in this situation. Go bible! Never disappoints in the action department.
My translation not only calls them children but “little children” at that.
If turning them into a “gang” of teenagers makes you feel better, fine… It was a probably just a bunch of ten-year olds though.
Couldn’t have been teenagers. If they were jews (since it’s old testament I’m assuming they were), they’re considered adults at 13. Mitzvah.
They still would have been jews throughout most of the new testament.
Yeah, but there are MORE gentiles in the new than in the old, because a lot of the apostles started to focus on them.
i prefer to think of them as children because honestly, who over the age of 13 is going to think of “baldy” as the ultimate insult? plus it’s just much crazier to think of god (or one of his prophets) getting so bent out of shape over a dumb nickname.
Ezekiel 37:1-9 is way better. God teaching his prophet how to summon a Zombie Army. Good times.
Anyone dig into the music vaults yet, for “Son of a Preacher Man”??
Struck barren for arguing with her husband. Nice.
I seem to remember another story about a bunch of kids being ripped apart by bears for making fun of a bald old man. And wasn’t there something about one of Noah’s sons being cursed along with all his progeny for trying to cover the old man up when he was laying naked sleeping off a drunken binge?
Nice guy, God.
haha, i just got done commenting on the bear story. awesome.
Don’t tell anybody, but they’re a rumor going around that he’s drowned civilizations, hammered countries with plagues, and blasted cities with fire – and turned people to salt for having the audacity to glance back at the pyrotechnics behind them. Basically, in all cases, because he was miffed and wanted to make examples of people.
The son and his progeny who were cursed wasn’t because he tried to cover up Noah’s naked drunkenness. He saw his dad naked, and somewhat implied from the comment that when dad woke up he knew what happened (never heard of someone being passed out and waking up to know who just seen them and nothing else), that Ham had basically done something sexually perverse with his father’s unconscious body.
“Somewhat implied?” Bwah?
And even if Ham did f**k up, what did his progeny do to deserve this curse?
@GinzaMary: Sorry, I missed your reference – thought I was the only one who made the connection.
And for the rest of us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hthiLHVAMho&ob=av3n
Extra points for using the Dusty Springfield version.
DoA Joyce reminds me more and more of my sister. Also, is that Ron decking somebody in the background?
“the only one who could ever reach me
was the son of a preacher man
the only boy who could ever teach me
was the son of a preacher man
yes he was, he was, mmmm yes he was”-(currently playing in Joyces head right now)
ONE DOES NOT QUESTION THE KING WHEN HE WANTS TO SHAKE HIS GROOVE THANG. THERE ARE DIRE CONSEQUENCES.
Now I’m picturing King David as Elvis.
Of all the terrible movies Elvis made, why didn’t he make that one? That would have been awesome!
I think they’re making that soon. Bubba Ho-Tep and the Raiders of The Lost Ark. It’s pure box office gold.
It’s Tycho. You know it’s Tycho. Why are you acting like you don’t recognize Tycho?
The thought that I keep having is: In a sweater-vest that’s Ryan, just as plainly that’s Jake Manley if he’s in a suit, and if you put him in that sweater it’s Tycho. So I have to ask, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT A CON WILLIS?!?!
Dude, that is SO Tycho.
I don’t recall Tycho quoting bible verses. If it is him, it is so out of character.
Does Joyce go into withdrawals when she doesn’t hear bible verses every few days? Is once a week not enough of a fix for her?
Please let him slip a roofie in her drink and pass her around…
Since when did this become Super Free?
YOU! It was your fault!
Oh, man. Took me way too goddamn long to remember Ryan.
YOU FAILED US WACK’D
He’s pretty damn unforgettable now though…
Kind’o wish I could edit because I’d remove the damn. Feel like its an overplayed hand here…