Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 22, 2026

Aaron

by David M Willis on December 13, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: joyce, riley, sarah

Discussion (202) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    December 13, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    well, she tried

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      December 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Sarah is fired from her own PR department. Someone else bolster up Sarah’s rep!

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 13, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    RUN, spread you’re soday goodness elsewhere!

  3. ShaggyDonahugh
    ShaggyDonahugh
    December 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Nothin cuter than scaring small children away from your bubble. Right grumpy grandpa in a rocker?
    GET OFF MY PROPERTY!
    AAH!

    • Frostbite
      Frostbite
      December 13, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      Great now Old man Sarah has our last ball.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 13, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        Riley = Dennis, Sarah = Mr. Wilson.

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          December 13, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

          Get outta Here! …GET OUTTA HERE!!!

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            December 13, 2013 at 10:23 am | #

            *beatboxes*

  4. Ourorboros
    Ourorboros
    December 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Comic failure ahead.
    Sarah, for your sake skip to step 2.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Kidnap Jacob and tie him up in the basement?

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Thirteenth Amendment be damned.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          December 13, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          Well, if Sarah is willing to do that…

      • Curacaobill
        Curacaobill
        December 13, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        Kinky

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          December 13, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          Not as kinky as herding cattle through the Vatican.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 13, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

            Do cows poop in the Vatican?

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              December 13, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

              Yes, Ouroboros. Cows poop in the Vatican. I just don’t know if they call it Holy Shit or just regular shit.

              • JA
                JA
                December 13, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

                Only the pope can produce Holy Shit.

                What? Popes poop just like we do, even the ones we like.

                • The Chosen One
                  The Chosen One
                  December 13, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

                  But does the Pope shit in the woods?

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  December 13, 2013 at 4:11 am | #

                  Can we get an internet up in here? JA just won one.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 13, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

      No, skip to step three.

      Profit.

  5. Aizat
    Aizat
    December 13, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    What did Riley ever to you, Sarah?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      She ate all the cereal and now there’s none left for Sarah.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 13, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

      She reminded Sarah what youth was like!

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      December 13, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      She thought Sarah was a giant cocoa puff.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      December 13, 2013 at 10:25 am | #

      I know 12-year-olds. Riley did SOMETHING. We just don’t know what!

      • NIghtsbridge
        NIghtsbridge
        December 13, 2013 at 5:38 pm | #

        Sure we know. She’s Roz’s sister.

  6. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    December 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Wow, turn your back for five seconds and she goes straight to “Get off my lawn” mode.

    Joyce just can’t take her anywhere.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Time to return her to her nursing home then. 😛

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 13, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

        I PAY MY TAXES!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!

  7. TobyMobias
    TobyMobias
    December 13, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Pop MachineXSarah is now my favorite ship. I expect at least three fanfics on my desk by Sunday. Get on it, Internet.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      She’s going to spray it all over her body.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 13, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        Not many guys have the potential to spray a GF with so many different flavours of sticky fluid. 😀

        • Mr K
          Mr K
          December 13, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

          I won’t be surprised if there is some porn like that. It’s probably from either Germany or Japan.

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            December 13, 2013 at 10:22 am | #

            No, Germany does the beer version.

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    “Kids these days…”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Yeah, back then, kids could pilot giant robots without going all angst and crap.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        …and they could control said giant robot with a wrist watch.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          December 13, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          Or hell, pilot the giant robot with a motorcycle…that docks with an aircraft which then docks with the robot’s head.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            December 13, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

            For some reason I thought about the Science Ninja’s plane at first but then I remembered that it never turned into a robot.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              December 13, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

              It’s from Mazinger Z.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                December 13, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

                AH!

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            December 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            Or pilot the robot using three spacecraft that could combine into one robot. Good times.

          • Keroshino
            Keroshino
            December 13, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

            Ok, that reference eludes me!

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              December 13, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

              First reference is Mazinger Z. The second one is Getter Robo. And Plas is either referencing Giant Robo or Tetsujin 28.

              • Keroshino
                Keroshino
                December 13, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

                The motorcycle one?

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  December 13, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

                  Mazinger Z…I think.

            • Keroshino
              Keroshino
              December 13, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

              WTF? This was supposed to be a response to Aizat!

              • Keroshino
                Keroshino
                December 13, 2013 at 3:20 am | #

                Which upon re-inspection, turns out it was correct…
                …i am an idiot!!! 😛

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 13, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

      Back in my day, kids just played pokemon on their gameboys. Now it’s all wrong. Stupid kids…playing pokemon on their 3DS’.

  9. Ryugen
    Ryugen
    December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Pop machine… more like STOP machine. Hahahaha.

  10. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Poor Riley. Also, I’m very glad you say “pop,” Willis. It makes me feel whole.

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      December 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Great Lakes jargon checks out.

    • SplashBoogie
      SplashBoogie
      December 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      My inner Texan cringes. I know it’s accurate for the location but…still…

      • Tacdud2
        Tacdud2
        December 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        wait we dont say pop?

      • Mo
        Mo
        December 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        Relax and have a coke.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 13, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      I am from Ohio. We say pop here.

      I’ve personally lived elsewhere, so I sometimes use soda as well. It offends my brother, he always tells me it’s pop.

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        December 13, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

        I’m from Alberta, and we say pop!

        • Batman
          Batman
          December 13, 2013 at 10:16 am | #

          Around here it’s called…

          …BatCola.

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          December 13, 2013 at 10:55 am | #

          Pretty much all of Canada except Quebec since they are “special” =P

          In Germany its Limonade even though it has nothing to do with lemons.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 13, 2013 at 11:19 am | #

          Spent most of my life in BC; lived briefly in Ontario; now I’m in Nova Scotia. Pretty sure all of Canada calls it pop.

          Always thought “soda” was some weird American thing until I found out it’s a regional weird American thing. 😉 Some of them call it “pop” too. But I think it’s Canada-wide up here.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          December 13, 2013 at 8:20 pm | #

          Yup.

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          December 13, 2013 at 9:13 pm | #

          Montana too

      • isitsevenyet
        isitsevenyet
        December 13, 2013 at 7:36 pm | #

        I grew up in California and have always said “soda”. But I’m not sure whether that’s a California thing or because my grandmother called it that. She grew up in Maryland so who knows?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 13, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      I don’t know what a pop machine is. Is it a machine that pops you in the mouth if you put in some money? That sounds awful!

      • Tom Speelman
        Tom Speelman
        December 13, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        It pops your mouth full of delicious liquid!!

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 13, 2013 at 10:20 am | #

      Hawaii says “soda”. Or “juice”, not as a replacement for the word “soda/pop/coke” but because there’s really good canned juice here. 😀

    • sps48
      sps48
      December 13, 2013 at 7:58 pm | #

      Live on a US military (or be in it) and you get a good melting pot of the Melting Pot. People call it all of the above, and the nubs will say “You call it what? Where are YOU from?”

  11. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Cue inappropriate kid statement from Sarah.

  12. Phil
    Phil
    December 13, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    …the hell? Shouting at a 12-year-old for no apparent reason; stay classy, Sarah.

    • Phil
      Phil
      December 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Aaaaand a Jacob gravatar saying it. YES

    • Allcool-dontcare
      Allcool-dontcare
      December 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      I dont always scare children but when I do IM F#CKING TIRED

  13. newllend
    newllend
    December 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Wally shows up: why the hell you talking too the pop machine

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 13, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      WALKY, FUCK YOU AUTO CORRECT

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        December 13, 2013 at 4:12 am | #

        Yeah, I was going to ask. How did Wally West got lost here? Or is it Wallaby Beetle?

      • davidbreslin101
        davidbreslin101
        December 13, 2013 at 9:49 am | #

        And suddenly I understand why a bunch of people here were talking about Wally the other day.

  14. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    December 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    HOLY SHIT SARAH!!!

    WTF did Riley ever do to you?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Give her Cocoa Puffs?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 13, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Silly Riley, everybody knows that at Sarah’s stage of life, only cereal with loads of bran count as a breakfast. 😛

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          December 13, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          You mean like Bran Flakes? Well, they do have a nice cereal box.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            December 13, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

            Mmmm cereal box….

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 13, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

          So Sarah suffers from constipation and needs a lot of bran? That might explain her attitude a bit.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            December 13, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

            It’s hard to deal with other people’s shit when you cannot even do any of your own.

          • NIghtsbridge
            NIghtsbridge
            December 13, 2013 at 5:40 pm | #

            Who is Riley’s sister, again, that caused and continues to cause Sarah some serious emotional trauma?

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 13, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

        Name her future son after the cocoa puffs mascot?

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 13, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

          –aw dang that was meant to be a response to “what did Riley ever do to you”.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 13, 2013 at 8:22 pm | #

      Probably ate all the fruit loops.

  15. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    December 13, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    It’s hard not to love Joyce, isn’t it?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 13, 2013 at 1:52 am | #

      I dunno, that ‘Aaron/Moses’ quip reminded me of all the times she’s made me want to smack her with a xenophilia stick. So the cutes turned to cringes.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        December 13, 2013 at 6:59 am | #

        I admit, that line made me think, “you want to make graven images while Sarah is away writing the ten commandments?”

  16. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 13, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    “Agg! YOUTH and INNOCENCE! It burrns…”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      It burns us! It burns us!

  17. newllend
    newllend
    December 13, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Is anybody going to bite my head off if I say I find Sarah to be a turn off

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 13, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      But how can you bite the head off a creature that is nothing but head?

      • newllend
        newllend
        December 13, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        First day with this avatar and people are already questioning it

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 13, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          Isn’t that the point of using your own ava?

          • newllend
            newllend
            December 13, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

            …Got me there

    • Joel Rice
      Joel Rice
      December 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      No, as long as You don’t bite my head off for finding her uber hawt.

  18. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 13, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    And the Sarah/Pop Machine ship will remain unlaunched…

  19. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    December 13, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    I now choose to imagine that Joyce is voiced by Jeff Goldblum.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Oh just have Joyce’s line full of “Uh” and “Umm” and have her whisper some of the lines.

  20. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    December 13, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Don’t ask me why I did this, I just did.

    • LiaHansen
      LiaHansen
      December 13, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      Ohmygod

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      Stupid Riley! You made me look bad!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 13, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

      You forgot your meds, didntja Doc?

    • Curacaobill
      Curacaobill
      December 13, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      ……………… This…. Yes.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 13, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

      Doctor, you have no idea how happy this reference makes me.

    • Narf
      Narf
      December 14, 2013 at 3:54 am | #

      HAH! Oh man, that wins so hard.

  21. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    December 13, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    Hey, you just dropped a race-blind Bible reference there, Joyce! Because Aaron and Moses were related, and probably dark-skinned. Good show!

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 13, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

      Aaron is my favorite Bible reference.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 13, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

        Aaron is the ultimate wingman.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        December 13, 2013 at 4:03 pm | #

        Aaron is best prophet.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 13, 2013 at 2:58 am | #

      Fundamentalists have all the characters as Caucasian. Or does blonde white Jesus with the square jaw look particularly Semetic to you?
      Hollywood didn’t start white washing, they just make more money doing it.

    • sps48
      sps48
      December 13, 2013 at 7:50 pm | #

      Love P&A, T!
      And I picture Aaron looking something like Gene Simmons. Moses is Charlton Heston, can’t help it.

  22. Philippe G.
    Philippe G.
    December 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    Maybe Pop machine is into bossy women.
    In any case, I shit it now.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 13, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      Sounds painful.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      Or maybe Pops is from Lolliland and prefer that scrumptious looking Cherry Lolli there.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        December 13, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

        Good show!

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          December 13, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

          Jolly good show!

    • Philippe G.
      Philippe G.
      December 13, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

      I swear I wrote “ship”, but my autocorrect has a weird sense of humor.

  23. Mr K
    Mr K
    December 13, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    Poor Riley. Seriously, if Sarah continues this she’ll lose some places on the popularity poll.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      December 13, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

      For me, She is officially worse than Danny!!!

      You “DO NOT” be mean to Riley!

      • Just Cheeto Dust
        Just Cheeto Dust
        December 13, 2013 at 5:03 am | #

        Let’s not say things we can’t take back.

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          December 13, 2013 at 5:14 pm | #

          Ok…Danny is still worse!
          It’s just that Sarah keeps doing stuff that makes me dislike her, and snapping at people (especially Riley) isn’t helping!

          Seriously…that behaviour is not cool!

  24. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    December 13, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    I just realized that between Joyce, Sarah, and Jacob, the one one whose name isn’t actually IN the Bible is Joyce, the one who isn’t included in the whole “used for a body” business.

  25. Varangian
    Varangian
    December 13, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    To be fair, Moses was pretty grumpy himself, so she’s just being accurate to your example, Joyce dear.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      December 13, 2013 at 4:05 pm | #

      The Bible is full of grumpy people. God included.

  26. Sammie1053
    Sammie1053
    December 13, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    It takes a truly bitter soul to get mad at RILEY DESANTO, the most adorable 12 year old younger sister in this comic.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      And not sickeningly cute like those moe characters.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 13, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

      She’s definitely way better than all the other 12 year old younger sisters in the comic!

  27. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 13, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    I swear I never hear people call it pop. Like…never. I thought they were a myth until recently.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 13, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

      I heard it been called pop in older shows and comics, but I never heard a person call it that.

      • Boom
        Boom
        December 13, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

        Well, pop my bop-she-wop-dop-fop.

    • bustagus
      bustagus
      December 13, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

      I’ve heard people in Michigan and Minnesota call it pop. I think it’s a far north thing.

      • Just Cheeto Dust
        Just Cheeto Dust
        December 13, 2013 at 5:05 am | #

        Midwest.

      • Marc in MN
        Marc in MN
        December 13, 2013 at 9:04 am | #

        I’ve lived in Minnesota pretty much my whole life. We call it pop here.

    • Bill
      Bill
      December 13, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

      Regional terminology.  Just like the way some words get pronounced differently depending on what part of the country you are from.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 13, 2013 at 2:26 am | #

        Down here in Oz, it’s call soft drink.

        • Buckley
          Buckley
          December 13, 2013 at 8:20 am | #

          Or fizzy!

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 13, 2013 at 2:55 am | #

      Somebody did a study on this. You can Google “Soda or Pop”.

    • Vim-Hogar
      Vim-Hogar
      December 13, 2013 at 3:49 am | #

      There’s even parts of the country where “Coke” only refers to one specific brand of cola instead of being a synonym to “soda”, though my friends who haven’t lived outside the South find this hard to believe.

      • Just Cheeto Dust
        Just Cheeto Dust
        December 13, 2013 at 5:13 am | #

        “Man, name brand word association is one of the more subtle threats to this nation’s free trade! It gives the larger, well-known companies an unfair advantage. I’m doing my part to keep the playing field level by weaning people off referring to generic products with brand names.”

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 13, 2013 at 5:29 am | #

          People in the South drink Orange Coke too.
          They were just the dominant brand for a long time, so that all soda was called “Coke”.
          It’s become as meaningless as Xerox, Band-Aid, and Kleenex. People are just asking for that type of product, not just that brand. Marketing people will tell you that level of recognition just isn’t useful.
          “Coke” just means soda/pop/soft-drink.

          • Marc in MN
            Marc in MN
            December 13, 2013 at 9:06 am | #

            I’ve always found the areas that use “coke” in this way to be the most humorous.

            “I’d like a coke, please.”
            “What kind?”
            “Pepsi!” 😉

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            December 13, 2013 at 12:13 pm | #

            Nope, marketing people will tell you this level of recognition is a very worthy goal, because people can’t use the category of product without repeating your name to each other. You’ve become the default. It’s called branding.

            • David Willis
              David M Willis
              December 13, 2013 at 2:25 pm | #

              Which marketing people told you that? At that level of “recognition,” the trademark becomes genericized and the law can rule that everyone can use it, which is probably not great for your brand. For example, Talon Zipper only owns 7% of worldwide zipper production share despite having named the thing, while YKK gets to produce half the world’s zippers while calling them zippers.

              Not being able to call zippers anything but zippers didn’t really do much for Talon Zipper.

              • ASD
                ASD
                December 13, 2013 at 4:48 pm | #

                ^This.

                Nintendo apparently coined the term “gaming console” to stop people from calling what we call consoles today, “nintendos” and losing the right to use their company’s name in the United States.

                • David Willis
                  David M Willis
                  December 13, 2013 at 5:01 pm | #

                  In Transformers fiction and in instruction manuals they “convert.” They don’t “transform.” Hasbro doesn’t want other companies to be able to call the transforming robots they make “transformers.”

            • Ourorboros
              Ourorboros
              December 13, 2013 at 6:09 pm | #

              Nope, having people use your company name for the entire product is useless.
              Sure, people use your name all the time, but they don’t think of YOU, which is useless.
              Most people have or do photocopy on Cannons, not Xerox when they ‘Xerox’.
              People will just as comfortably use store brand or Curad bandages when they need a ‘Band-Aid’. In fact the term ‘Band-Aid’ is so generic a short term fix is only ‘Putting a Band-Aid’ on it.
              Do you really care what brand ‘Kleenex’ you use when you need facial tissue? As long as it isn’t the rough, scratchy kind most people don’t even think about it.

              So no, no marketing person wants their brand name to be so ubiquitous that their own product is not longer thought of.

            • Ourorboros
              Ourorboros
              December 13, 2013 at 6:21 pm | #

              That last reply was wordy.
              When your brand name becomes the generic word for a product type, people don’t always attach importance on buying from you – the whole point of brand awareness.
              That is a losing proposition. That isn’t anybody’s goal. A marketing department that finds it to be worthy is fired.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        December 13, 2013 at 11:25 am | #

        In Canada if you order a “Coke” at a restaurant and they only have Pepsi, they’ll ask if Pepsi is okay instead. Or 7-up/Sprite.

        I think if I ordered a Coke somewhere and that was followed by a “What kind?” sort of conversation (aside from, like, diet/regular, which would at least make sense from the poor wait-staff’s point of view) it would end in rage.

  28. Corlanthis
    Corlanthis
    December 13, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

    I find Joyce hiding Pop Machine Jacob’s eyes to be super endearing!

  29. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    December 13, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    I’ve lived in a lot of different parts of the country: called it everything from Soda, to soda pop, to pop. I grew up in mid NY state, we called it pop.

    As for scaring small children: some of us have it and some of us don’t bwahaha. I’m just not a kiddie person. Never have been. Never try to scare the little rascals, but don’t encourage endearments either. Kids are okay, as long as somebody else’s. (and my own :)).

    Joyce has her work cut out for her: Sarah is not exactly a people person.

    • locixloci
      locixloci
      December 13, 2013 at 5:36 am | #

      In London, UK we call them ‘fizzy drinks’.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 13, 2013 at 6:11 pm | #

        Emril seemed to use the term ‘fizzy drinks’ to refer to mixed drinks with soda.

  30. TaintedSpud
    TaintedSpud
    December 13, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

    This will end in tears. And Lolz. And more sweet, sweet tears…

    • Cragalanch
      Cragalanch
      December 13, 2013 at 9:01 am | #

      Cragalanch thought tears were salty……

      • madd
        madd
        December 13, 2013 at 1:23 pm | #

        She gots that sugarbetes.

  31. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    December 13, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

    OUT! OUT! YOU DEMON OF STUPIDITY!

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      December 13, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

      Might want to take a look in the mirro…uh…I mean Gravitar!!!

      • TrueVCU
        TrueVCU
        December 13, 2013 at 10:17 am | #

        …

        OUT! OUT!

        • Narf
          Narf
          December 14, 2013 at 4:02 am | #

          +10 for Dogbert quote with Sarah grav 😀

  32. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 13, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

    Sarah, what are you doing.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      December 13, 2013 at 4:09 pm | #

      Sarah, stahp.

  33. Henry
    Henry
    December 13, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

    Sarah, no! Riley just wants you to hear the Good News that is Cocoa Puffs!

  34. Dave
    Dave
    December 13, 2013 at 3:09 am | #

    Coverng Soda-Jacob’s eyes, or copping a feel on his pecs?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 13, 2013 at 4:15 am | #

      Pecs. Definitely pecs.

  35. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    December 13, 2013 at 3:10 am | #

    Every time I see the name Aaron now, I think of Breaking Bad…

    • Varangian
      Varangian
      December 13, 2013 at 3:45 am | #

      AMC’s hit new drama, Breaking Exodus

      “How many more people are gonna die because of us?!”
      “No one. Now that God’s sent the locusts, we’re in charge, no one else has to get hurt!”
      “You keep SAYING that and it’s BULLSHIT EVERY TIME!!”

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        December 13, 2013 at 4:10 pm | #

        +1

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm | #

      I always think “Diaz”

  36. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    December 13, 2013 at 4:45 am | #

    Now, now, Sarah. I find people who say they don’t like children simply haven’t had them in the right sauce. My suggestion is alfredo.

    • Just Cheeto Dust
      Just Cheeto Dust
      December 13, 2013 at 5:15 am | #

      A recipe that Jonathan Swift would approve of.

  37. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    December 13, 2013 at 5:25 am | #

    “This is between me and you, pop machine!”

  38. Alexis
    Alexis
    December 13, 2013 at 6:11 am | #

    I’m loving the focus that Sarah is getting.

    There needs to be more tirades against small children. They just… they just don’t GET that everywhere around a five-foot radius of people like Sarah and I is an old man’s lawn, and they need to get the fuck off before I call the police. They just don’t get it.

  39. Doc Harleen
    Doc Harleen
    December 13, 2013 at 6:15 am | #

    Dang – a social situation in which Joyce is the one a teensy bit more savvy than Sarah. First time for everything, I suppose.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 13, 2013 at 6:14 pm | #

      We have yet to see that Joyce is savvy here. She hasn’t gotten a date by her use of flirting or anything. She was just there.

  40. Kytan
    Kytan
    December 13, 2013 at 7:02 am | #

    Right the aaron to her moses… does that mean shes gonna start slandering sarah soon because shes jealous of her?

  41. hof1991
    hof1991
    December 13, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Riley’s running was disconnected from the whole Jacob ship. Sarah is reacting kinda strongly and Joyce is looking very strange. Maybe Amber is going all AG on Ethan off camera. Just the kind of scene change Willis specializes in. Cute. Drama. Cute. Drama.

    • Bill
      Bill
      December 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm | #

      Ditto.  I thought maybe Sarah was going off on Joyce being so pushy and Riley just got caught in the crossfire.

  42. Jesse
    Jesse
    December 13, 2013 at 7:29 am | #

    What was that about?

  43. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    December 13, 2013 at 10:08 am | #

    Cat fight between Roz and Sarah STAT!

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 13, 2013 at 11:22 am | #

      They’ll end up making out, and Sarah realizes that she doesn’t really want Jacob anymore

  44. Far
    Far
    December 13, 2013 at 10:15 am | #

    Umm, Point of Order.
    Aron was the builder of the golden calf while Moses was on the mountain.
    Bad metaphor there.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      December 13, 2013 at 11:14 am | #

      Learn more than one story about Aaron and Moses.

      • Kannyn
        Kannyn
        December 13, 2013 at 12:15 pm | #

        Wait, we were supposed to READ the Bible? I thought it was just to hold while other people told us what it meant, so we could tell other people what it meant (hint: “we’re always right”).

        • Megatron
          Megatron
          December 13, 2013 at 2:52 pm | #

          I’m pretty sure you can learn more Aaron and Moses stories without reading the Bible. In fact, Prince of Egypt is one of those stories.

          • David Willis
            David M Willis
            December 13, 2013 at 4:06 pm | #

            But Prince of Egypt completely overlooks the part of the story that today’s strip is specifically referencing.

            • Megatron
              Megatron
              December 13, 2013 at 4:26 pm | #

              In my defense, the last time I saw it was in the theaters. Decepticon HQ doesn’t’ get cable or Netflix.

            • locixloci
              locixloci
              December 13, 2013 at 6:52 pm | #

              I honestly don’t know how you can stomach reading all these comments Willis. I imagine it would drive me completely crazy if I were the content creator.

              I mean, folk here seem like a very nice bunch, all things considered, but still.

              The only conclusion I can draw from this is that you must be a very different person with different thoughts and emotions and feelings and reactions to things. But that can’t be right. Everyone else is like me… right?

              I forget where I was going with this. Stupid whisky.

              • Crumplepunch
                Crumplepunch
                December 13, 2013 at 8:28 pm | #

                Appropriate gravitar is appropriate.

              • David Willis
                David M Willis
                December 13, 2013 at 9:21 pm | #

                I funnel my rage into my comic.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 13, 2013 at 3:48 pm | #

          I spent like a month reading through it once. It was so boring I forgot all of it.

    • Mark
      Mark
      December 13, 2013 at 2:27 pm | #

      Aaron spoke for Moses because Moses was “slow of speach” If I’m remembering correctly.

    • Narf
      Narf
      December 14, 2013 at 4:06 am | #

      a winner is not you

  45. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    December 13, 2013 at 1:43 pm | #

    A Wild Riley Appears

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 13, 2013 at 3:47 pm | #

      Sarah used Roar! Wild Riley fled.

  46. Bob Ross
    Bob Ross
    December 13, 2013 at 8:03 pm | #

    Who wants to bet that Riley was all jacked up on sugar and was poking/tickling/being annoying her?

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 13, 2013 at 9:33 pm | #

      Riley Killed Sarah’s parents.

  47. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    December 13, 2013 at 8:39 pm | #

    Having a second laugh at this strip by substituting pope for pop.

  48. man in black
    man in black
    December 13, 2013 at 9:33 pm | #

    great page

  49. Evyn Sea
    Evyn Sea
    December 24, 2013 at 11:40 pm | #

    Rereading this my brain caught the hair colour of the girl fleeing from Sarah in the fourth panel; my brain had skipped over it, simply presuming her to be Joyce. With that said I politely request for clarification of her identity should she be a pre-established character?

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      December 24, 2013 at 11:43 pm | #

      It’s Riley, Roz’s little sister. She’s appeared in strips immediately prior to this. Her name is listed in the tags below the strip.

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
I wonder if they sell these outside Columbus.
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In an adaptation of the NYT diagram in the quoted skeet, a diagram showing Jeffrey Dahmer
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Hard-hitting analysis from NYT. As you can see from the diagram, legal impediments are a weak gray box that can be defeated by a strong orange arrow and bold typeface Gift article (but it’s bad) www.nytimes.com/interactive/...
NYT: “In Firing Watchdogs, Trump Sidesteps Laws and Moves to Expand Power, By Elena Shao May 22, 2025
President Trump summarily dismissed more than a dozen members of independent oversight bodies during his first two months in office, defying typical procedures and federal laws that say presidents cannot remove certain officials without good cause, like misconduct or neglect.”A diagram shows Trump’s head on the left and symbols denoting nine federal agencies on the right, connected by a faint gray arrow going through a text box reading “Should issue notice citing cause for firing.”
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SS86 Scrapper may not have a waist rotational joint, but he does have a sassy hip sway.
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i'm PRETTY sure the days of pb&js is right now, actually, if you wanted, especially if you're in a goddamn grocery store
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Aidan Moher @aidanis.fun ⋅ 9h
There’s been a murder.
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welp I sent an email
Hi Tripp,
I'm a reporter with the Guardian US, based in New York. I hope this finds you well.
I'm reaching out about your most recent article and its inclusion of the claim,
Incidentally, how are you defining
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Chris Schilling @schillingc.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
Headline - Nick Clegg: Artists’ demands over copyright are unworkable 
Strap - The former Meta executive claims that a law requiring tech companies to ask permission to train AI on copyrighted work would ‘kill’ the industry
“Then die”
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Pie @technicolorpie.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
there has to be a better way to phrase a going out of business sale
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07 ONE WAVE 2
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Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
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Help Amena's family start over and get medical attention
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By Amena Baba

I am Amena, a mother of four children. We survived a merciless war, but we lost everything.
My home was completely destroyed, and I lost loved ones that nothing can replace. My daughter suffers from health problems that require continuous treatment. Life in Gaza has become almost impossible, and with the scarcity of resources and the rise in prices, it has become difficult to secure the basic needs of my children.
I decided to start over, but I need your help.
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this is 10x more impressive than a strike
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well, no, it's a goldfish a goldfish that's being kept by wilbur he's already killed one of them
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Dinaless
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“What am I listening to? Oh, just the music of Post Malone. He’s a pop artist,” the panicked, sweating Lily Paolini said theonion.com/ashamed...
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CHICAGO—Attempting to keep her browser tab concealed from view for fear her guilty pleasure would be exposed to nearby coworkers, ashamed woman Lily Paolini was reportedly hiding her interest in country music Friday as though it were hentai. “What am I listening to? Oh, just the music of Post Malone. He’s a pop artist,” the […]
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MAC AND CHEESE PIZZA IS BACK MOTHERFUCKERS
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Studio Series doesn't fuck around when it comes to robot mode scale www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Ec...
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CUT MY LAWN INTO PIECES THIS IS MY LAST RESORT
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Jenna Maroney, swinging her finger in the air: Shut it down.
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"CUT THE FEED!"
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This comment period ends today, 5/23, at 11:59 pm ET. Please do comment asap if you believe the government should allow us to get COVID vaccinations. I can't believe we even have to petition them about this, but here we are.
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Well played, Kelly
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thirty different editorial cartoons about St Peter greeting him with NORM!, coming right up
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help book ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ⬇️
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THE BOOK THAT HAS AMERICA SCREAMING COME ON DOWN HERE AND FACE ME, GOD!

THE THRILL OF TAKING SEVEN DRUGS AT ONCE

DEMON SALT, STREET CRUMBS, MEE-MAW PIPE, MALLY, LSPP, SASSAFRAS, MICROWAVED CANDY

A BOOK BY DOCTOR PILLS
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Ruth!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
...okay, so i can't do crossed arms if i want to be able to see/reference the details on the overalls for, you know, actual model sheet purposes a lesson i keep not learning
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